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Personal statement: I will not kill myself today.
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jaysprout's movie tags

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  • Great, great, great

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    Titanic  (1997)

    I wish this hadn't been my first exposure to DiCaprio because this is his worst performance and every time I see him, he's still this dorky character. He and Winslet are the least parts of this movie, though. From the ship - which is a character in itself - to the minor characters who are crew and passengers that you end up caring so much about ... this movie is full of things to love. Billy Zane and his evil henchman might be the best parts about the film but it's hard to say because it is ... almost a masterpiece.

  • Who buys this crap?

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    The Others  (2001)

    There are so many writers in the world who make little or no money and yet someone was able to sell this piece of shit. Amazing.

    Nothing is more disheartening or frustrating than seeing the ending coming before the movie has barely begun. 


  • Pretty to look at, but unbearable to watch

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    The Illusionist  (2006)

    You won't care about the characters and you'll figure out the ending about five minutes into the movie.

  • Gripping and Doesn't Let Go: Like the Best Sex or Hugs

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    The Painted Veil  (2006)

    The acting, the story, the beautiful scenery ... *sigh* ... it doesn't get much better than this. You may never see characters grow like this again. Your heart breaks for both of them, you root for both of them, despite their obvious imperfections that make you, many times, not like either of them very much.

  • Thank You

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    It's been a long time so I can't remember much about this film. What I remember most fondly is it introduced me to Hugh Grant and that is more than enough.

  • An Unforgivable Curse

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    I hated this at the cinema. Many months later I rented it and gave it a second chance. I hated it even more.

    This book is several hundred pages long and, despite the title, only a small portion of it is about the Goblet of Fire/Tri-Wizard tournament. And yet, that's all you'll get out of this movie.

    It's like asking for a peach and getting only the pit. Asking for an apple and getting only the core. Asking for sex and getting handed a used condom instead.  


  • Please Make It Stop

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    I love the books - you need to know that before deciding whether to read my review or not. This movie doesn't completely suck like Goblet of Fire, but it has a lot to criticize.

    Yes, I'll say it - they took the longest (and best) book of the series and made it the shortest movie. That's really all you need to know.

    These idiots that make these movies have no grasp whatsover on what makes people love these stories! 99% of what makes the books great is left off screen.

    If you loved the book, just read it again. 


  • Ecstacy Not Unlike the Greatest Sex

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    This movie is so great in so many ways I could even overlook the fact that Kate Winslet was in it.

    It is one beautiful moment after another but in the end it is even more than the sum of its parts.  


  • Saved the Series

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    I must say my hopes and expectations were so low after the second movie that maybe this movie isn't really as good as I think. Having said that, I saw it last night and was most impressed. With multiple double-crosses and alterior motives on the part of, well, everyone the entire movie is one big 170 minute Mexican standoff.

    I don't think it was just lowered expectations - I truly think this was a great movie. If you like pirates. And all of these great actors. And good storytelling.

    Normally, I'm not an action & adventure guy but I did enjoy the action sequences more than usual. Sadly, the comedy falls flat in most instances. What's interesting about this series is it started off so tongue in cheek. The harder it tried to be serious adventure and all too self-aware comedy it lost something.

    What's rather weird is I think you can watch the third movie in either Lord of the Rings or The Matrix without watching the first two films of either yet this one you actually need to know what's going on if you want to see it.  


  • diarrhea of the script

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    As fun and interesting as some parts were, most of the time I kept thinking "Is this ever going to end?"

  • When Do We Get Glass Elevator?

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    It had been well over 20 years since I saw a movie this many times at the cinema at full price. I realize most kids probably wanted to be Charlie but I want(ed) to be Willy.

    It's impossible to say Depp or Wilder play the character better. Wilder's portrayal was certainly mischevious and mysterious but Depp's downright naughty - almost malevolent and sadistic in a way that borders on Hannibal Lecter ... another character we somehow root for. 

    Like the original, this is a masterpiece. It is not a remake, however, so if whether you loved or hated the version with Gene Wilder, you still want to give this a try.  

    This totally redeemed Tim Burton for that Planet of the Apes piece of shit.  

    Last, but certainly not least, this is the latest in a recent streak of greatness for Christopher Lee. I hope that doesn't mean he's going to die soon. He's certainly a national treasure (yes, I'm claiming him for the USA).  


  • Overall, Pretentious and Ineffective

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    Pleasantville  (1998)

    If I understood the movie correctly, you're Black & White until you have sex and then you start to get colorized. The more sex you have, the more colorful you become.

    Yes, of course, I realize what the movie was supposed to be trying to say but it was so over the top, hit you in the face with a hammer, and - ironically - just plain shallow ... I feel it fails to provoke thought or inspire in any way.

    There were a couple moments that were funny and you don't get much more clever than signs reading "no coloreds allowed" but those moments are overshadowed by juvenile writing.  

    It could have been so much more than this. Of course, it could have been much, much worse ... it could have been the remake of The Stepford Wives


  • Finally, Something Realistic

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    Secretary  (2002)

    Finally, a portrayal of dominant/submissive lifestyles that is more about emotion and relationship than shallow sex and violence/pain. What really impressed me was how many ways they found to say "I love you" without using those words (until she actually does). A close second was how, instead of saying "you're hired" he simply tells her "less sugar next time."

  • A Movie As Beautiful As Katie

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    Pieces of April  (2003)

    Oliver Platt is the best thing about any movie he's in but Katie Holmes and Derek Luke give him a run for his money in this truly great movie.

    Am I a bad person for saying the mom is such a bitch she deserves the cancer she's dying from? Every scene with Luke is fantastic and the small bit with that guy from Will & Grace is really funny and heart-breaking at the same time.

    I love it when seemingly small things like, oh, salt & pepper shakers can become so meaningful in a movie.

    Awesome screenplay and I love the way it's shot. I love how you can spend $150 million on a piece of garbage but you can spend almost nothing on something like this that turns out to be so fantastic. 


  • What the hell?!

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    This movie is so far beneath both Dario Argento and Meat Loaf I can only guess they were hooked on crack and were willing to do anything for money to feed their habit.

    It's only redeeming moment is one of the most original kills I've ever seen - putting one's face in a bear trap is certainly an unforgettable suicide. 


  • Wow. Where did THIS come from?

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    Focus  (2001)

    The trailer was captivating and the movie was equally engrossing. William H. Macy is great even by his usual high standards. The idea is original and the movie is executed with perfection. It's difficult to say if it is Macy's best performance because, well, how do you pick among so many great performances?

    It is, without a doubt, Meat Loaf's finest acting. I realize he's never given what could be called an Oscar-worthy performance but his pieces in both Rocky Horror and Fight Club were fun and believable (well, as believable as being re-animated after being in suspended animation can be). In this, he's intimidating, threatening, menacing ... is that redundant? Well, he's pretty darn good. 

    My wife and I got into an extremely heated argument after it about whether they should stand and fight or just move out of the neighborhood.  


  • The Millionth Viewing

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    Fight Club  (1999)

    Found it last night in my cabinet of old tapes and loved it as much as ever. There are countless great and profound moments in the film. Among my favorites is the fight where the priest and the guy he's fighting (is it the same guy who hosed him down earlier in the film?) hug each other after.

    I think the film stands up to the book quite well but I'm not sure why they changed the ending. The movie's is anti-climactic to say the least (almost as disappointing as Eyes Wide Shut) and the books is much more realistic, I think, in addition to being more intriguing.  

    The three leads enjoy roles that are among their best. I feel bad for Ed Norton, though. After American History X (and Keeping the Faith which is a guilty pleasure of mine) and this he's not done much worth recommending. Poor Helena seems typecast in the role of Crazy Bitch


 

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