It’s hard to know where to being to begin to describe my personal reaction to this movie but it helped me to understand a deep tragedy in my life- in the views I had adopted. Maybe it helped me to realize the reality of the love that I had so soundly convinced myself was inconceivable, unobtainable, lost. And so, it is a movie about the lost love of my life and the movie that helped me to find him again.
I begin with my “DEPARTURE” (the 2nd section of the movie) with Guy. In this section of my life, I convinced myself that even the most real love was suspect and could not sustain a relationship. I believed more in logic than in love because I knew that, from my own experience, I had the best love, the truest love, and that it had escaped me. I tried with all my powers of deception to make love compatible with logic. I convinced myself that I could will myself in love. Now I know this is foolishness, but I had to test the idea. I tried to love another man. He was practical, kind, thoughtful, romantic (in an odd way), eccentric- potentially a match.
He fell in love with me just as Mr. Cassard fell in love with Genevieve. Mr. Cassard’s character is interesting because he is a longing romantic, though admits that he fell for a woman who never loved him. Genevieve reminds him of that woman. But Genevieve gives him new hope and new grounds to walk on. At least he can be completely happy in this relationship. This is probably because Mr. Cassard has never known the love that Guy and Genevieve share. Mr. Cassard only gives love; he has never been loved.
I gave my Mr. Cassard hope. I felt that for all practical intents and purposes that I should love him; should be with him. But the memory of my Guy never left me, not for a day. Genevieve similarly is grateful that someone will accept her in her vulnerable (pregnant) state. She believes that her child needs a father. She wants her love Guy to return from the war but her hope in happily ever after wanes as he consistently forgets to write. So she chooses Mr. Cassard- a completely rational choice- though never forgets Guy (she names her daughter Françoise in memory of Guy). This is how we know she will always long from the love she once had.
She is moderately happy because there are other things in her life to love like her daughter. This happiness is part of the deception I told myself while dating Mr. Cassard. Genevieve lives securely, and like life, security provides a livable happiness.
By the “ARRIVAL” (3rd Act) I realized that I too had thrown away, given up on my Guy. Why had I stopped believing in the truly magical love of Act 1? Why did I settle for a relationship where only one person loved? Is that happiness?
I was greatly disturbed for the rest of the day. The movie shook the logic that was he foundation of my relationship with Mr. Cassard. The movie does not so much ask what could have been. It knows the answer. Guy and Genevieve had a love so rare that only a few are blessed to have it, but they chose something practical. The movie, however, is never cynical but quite realistic. Even though they never eternally realized their love, their lives continue with moments of happiness. And there’s always the memory of what once was.
Even after the movie, I was happy with just the memory of my Guy. I could not conceive of how we would get back together. Now I realize that the tragedy of Guy and Genevieve was almost my tragedy. I, for so long, denied my first, my only love, my real happiness.
I was so close to experiencing the painful moment years in the future when it became impossible to restart our relationship. I would have had to live with that torturous moment when a married Genevieve and encounters Guy for the first time in years. The bittersweet movie shows how they do have their happiness, but they do not love their spouses out of anything more than duty and security.
Duty and security led me to believe that I loved Mr. Cassard. Now I know that I never forgot my Guy.
This movie helped me avoid Guy and Genevieve’s tragedy. It perfectly shows true love. There is an ever-present sense that Guy and Genevieve should never be apart, but the movie, being a realistic representation, shows what happens in a world where logic survives over love. The movie captures the tragedy that happens to so many people. Yet the movie never denies the greatness of love, even when the characters fully do. That is how the movie is great. The movie knows life but longs for love.
I learned a great deal about life with Mr. Cassard, but thankfully the movie restored my faith in love. I got a second chance with Guy. This time I was able to make a brilliantly illogical decision- all in the name of love.
~Kristen Gorlitz