kristen

Member since 5/29/2006, last signed in awhile ago.

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I can't post a movie review on....
By kristen in Spout Feedback
"I guys. I can't post a movie review on the page for Bedtime Stories (2008, Adam Shankman). I click the "write a review" button but it wont take me to the message/blog form. I tried this a few hours ago and just tried it again. Help! " [More]

Selfish bedtime stories
By kristen in kristen Blog
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"Bedtime Stories (2008, Adam Shankman, USA) **1/2 Cinema explores the ways in which fiction and life interact to the point of cliché. That is not to say that this theme is not worth exploring. Many movies (Stranger than Fiction), and many kid's movies use the theme in a charming and profound way (My favorite of these kids movies are Labyrinth and Spirited Away). But so many kids' movies use this theme (like Enchanted, The Never Ending Story, A Kid in King Arthur's Court) that I groaned at the idea of another one. I hoped that Bedtime Stories wouldn't be as bad as the most basic exploration of this theme, the dream wakeup twist. The idea of "It's not real, it's all a dream. Or is it…" The dream wakeup shows that fantasy does have real effects, but who cares? Obviously I came into the movie with very low expectations. I expected the to see the simple idea that stories have an effect on real life and real life shapes stories. And that essentially is the story ... " [More]

Slumdog Millionaire

It is written to manipulate
By kristen in kristen Blog
1 out of 2 people found this review helpful. [What do you think?]
"Slumdog Millionaire (2008, Danny Boyle, USA/UK) zero stars The movie opens with a device it will use to tell the rest of the story- a question followed by a very pointed yet mystical explanation of how Jamal will succeed. Jamal is one question away from winning 20 million rupees. How did he do it? A. He cheated. B. He’s lucky. C. He’s a genius. D. It is destiny. It is written. And that is half of the problem. Jamal’s life has a predetermined outcome calculated by the filmmaker to meet the desires of a hopeful audience. Police kidnap Jamal (they suspect him of cheating on game show Who Wants to Be a Millionaire) and torture him in order to elicit a confession. Torture methods of our innocent victim include beating, suspension by the arms, and electrocution. From this moment the audience naturally sympathizes with innocent hero. Jamal maintains that you don't have to be a genius to know the answers to those questions. Intrigued at this slumdog's stubbornness, the ... " [More]

Valkyrie

Cruise so powerful he intimidat ...
By kristen in kristen Blog
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"Valkyrie (2008, USA, Brian Singer) ** Clearly, there is something entertaining about trying to kill the world’s best movie villain- Hitler, leader of the (dare I say?) NAZIS!!! Yes, the same Nazi’s that grace Indiana Jones. And now in Valkyrie American icon Tom Cruise plays Claus von Stauffenberg- a Nazi who attempts to assassinate Hitler. Fortunately, Stauffenberg is not the villain Nazi we American’s know so well. He is the leader of American dreams- our dreams to stop an unstoppable evil force. Stauffenberg’s mission then is to show American’s that, contrary to what the movies tell us, not all Germans are evil Jew killing Nazis. Cruise reprises his iconic role as a confident to the point of arrogant, unswerving individual, headstrong hero (as best seen in Top Gun and Mission Impossible). The historical Stauffenberg tells a fellow conspirator in their first meeting "Let's be blunt, I am committing high treason with all my might and main...." Such ... " [More]

Changeling

Changeling (2008, Clint Eastwoo ...
By kristen in kristen Blog
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"Clint Eastwood characters are like Sarah Palin saying repeatedly in the vice presidential debate that we need to stop the greed and corruption on Wall Street. What she says is correct but one gets the feeling that she has no sophisticated understanding of the matter and no plan of attack (she lacks abstract thought). She correctly identifies an evil but simplifies it to a sound bite. In the same manner, Clint Eastwood portrays the corrupt LAPD as evil (which they may very well be) but reduces humans to flat charactures. Clint Eastwood in his simplistic manner says that the police force is corrupt and that we need to stop them. Is the matter really so black and white? Do all the people on the police force really have no soul? Is every action an act of pure evil? People and evil are more complex then Eastwood’s conception. This is an oversight that is an injustice to people and to evil. The rest of the movie follows this simplicity but does manage to have a few worthwhile momen ... " [More]

Basquiat

Basquiat (1996, Julian Schnabel ...
By kristen in kristen Blog
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"From a quick online inquiry into his artwork it seems that Julian Schnabel is not as much of a screw up as a painter as he is as a filmmaker. I have now seen two of his abysmal films, the first being The Diving Bell and the Butterfly (an utter abomination) that earned Julian Schnabel a best director nomination at the 2007 Academy Awards (of course the academy likes his pretentious dribble). The second miserable film of his I had the displeasure of watching is Basquiat, a biopic about contemporary (and possible friend) Jean-Michel Basquiat. I read on wikipedia that Basquiat had regular art showings with Julian Schnabel. This leads me to believe that Schnabel knew the man and could at least provide some insight into his art, his mind, his mannerisms, something, in his movie. Unfortunately, Schnabel is a terrible filmmaker and in this case, maybe a terrible observer of humanity. He portrays Basquiat as a hollow, lackluster shell of a human being. Actor Jeffrey Wright give ... " [More]

36 Fillette

36 Fillette (1988, Catherina Br ...
By kristen in kristen Blog
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"I grew up in a puritanical household so at fourteen, I had no concept of sexuality except as an evil that tempts women to defile their bodies. Sexuality has always been used by others to suppress women or used by women as liberation. I was plagued with guilt whenever an unwholesome sexual thought entered my fourteen-year-old head. I even believed that fantasizing about kissing a boy was damnable. This movie is about a girl who is much more aware of reality, society, and sexuality than I was at her age. She is somehow by the age of fourteen liberated, socially free, much more like my sister then myself. I followed all the rules. I trusted adults when they said that this or that was bad and that I shouldn’t do it. I never had stage of rebellion (as a teenager). Maybe I’m more of a rebel these days. I am going to marry a wonderful heathen who I now live unlawfully with. Then again, I had my own reasons for abstinence. I’m a romantic who want ... " [More]

Re:Great Cinematography!
By kristen in Best Cinematography In Film
"I love cinematographer Sven Nykvist (who shot a lot of Bergman's films, Tarkovsky's The Sacrifice, some Woody Allen films etc.). His work is stunning so check him out if you have time. " [More]

Get Smart

A Plastic Face the only Human Part
By kristen in kristen Blog
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"Get Smart (2008, Peter Segal, USA) * Anne Hathaway began her movie career as the ugly duckling in The Princess Diaries (2001). But as we know, the ugly duckling turns into the most beautiful swan. And Presto! A little bit of makeup and beauty coaching completes her transformation. A darling new woman appears on screen and even snags her prince charming. In 2006, Hathaway co-starred in The Devil Wears Prada playing an unfashionable assistant who transforms into savvy fashion queen. That same year she was named one of the 50 most beautiful people by People magazine. But in life did something strange happen to Anne Hathaway's innocent face? Did she feel the need to undergo a real transformation? Don't her lips seem to crinkle in the most unnatural way? There have been rumors of plastic surgery though none have been confirmed (to my knowledge). In her latest movie Get Smart, Hathaway disguised as Agent 99 discusses her (rumored) plastic surgery. In the self-proclaimed most honest part ... " [More]

A Night at the Roxbury

"Are you two Gay?" "Nooo... YES ...
By kristen in kristen Blog
0 out of 1 people found this review helpful. [What do you think?]
"A Night at the Roxbury (1998, John Fortenberry, USA) ** This is the most unintentionally gay movie I have ever seen. I know that Doug (Chris Kattan) and Steve Butabi (Will Ferrell) are brothers in the movie but everyone knows that they aren't brothers in real life. I know, I know, movies require a suspension of disbelief. But the characters act less like brothers and more life lovers to remember that they are supposedly siblings. So you want examples of their gayness? They sleep in the same room on silk sheets in leopard print underwear. Steve wakes up Doug with a twisler and the eats it. They wear matching (flamboyant) outfits. They keep disco balls in their bedroom. They listen to the Bee Gee's while strutting down the street. They work out together in spandex outfits (and Steve allows the equally queer trainer to feel his pecks). Both Doug and Steve are virgins (because they are so in tune with each other that they cannot interact with women). Doug is extremely jealous when Emil ... " [More]

Wall-E

Wall-E Destroys Mankind!
By kristen in kristen Blog
1 out of 2 people found this review helpful. [What do you think?]
"Wall-E (2008, Andrew Stanton, USA) **1/2 Be warned: humans grow fatter by the day by consuming fast food in a cup, the earth is in a state of decay, trash lines the cities, and robots- well robots are more cute and cuddly than ever (except…). EXCEPT the evil Hal robot (ok, so the computers name isn’t Hal, but it looks like Hal) bent on destroying man. It must want humans to get fat and it definitely does not want humans to return to earth. But why not? Earth is the universe’s biggest junkyard thanks to the humans’ carelessness (which presumably sent them up into space in the first place). But I guess evil Hal knows that complacent, fat humans are better than environmentally conscious ones. And good thing this Hal does not have a brain, because if it did it would know that letting fat humans who barely have a bone structure because of extreme decay (so much so that they can barely walk) and who think that pizzas grow on trees wouldn’t survi ... " [More]

Re:Desert Island
By kristen in Movie Games
"If I could only watch three movies for the rest of my life (or until rescued) I easily pick 1. Fellini's 8 1/2- in order to remember humanity 2. Demme's Stop Making Sense- It's a perfect concert of my favorite music. Nothing makes me happier. i could watch it every day of my life. Third, This is a tough one, but I ruled out Tarkovsky's The Sacrifice (with would remind of the ever present struggle on the island, a spritual battle, and the ultimate sacrifice) and so the number 3 is... 3. Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut because I need to remember what a real loving relationship looks like. " [More]