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  • JP Paxton and the Review That Wasn't Suppose to be Written

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    The wind blows northeast failing miserably in its attempt to offer even the slightest relief from the scorching sun above. The sweat drips profusely from my hurting head here as I remain in the confines of almost deafening silence for what has now been 159 days. Too long some have said; too long. As much as I would like to voice my hatred of this I'm afraid I ashamedly cannot. It was my decision after all, but perhaps the wrong one. It is now though I make another. It is now as I hold in my hand a particular perforated souvenir I know it is time. Ah yes, time indeed. Ladies and gentleman, I present to you this ever so special piece: JP Paxton and the Review That Wasn't Suppose to be Written.

    It was the summer of 1981 and one of the most recognizable characters in film had been introduced to the world sporting a fedora, leather jacket, pistol, & of course a ten foot bullwhip. His name: Henry Walton Jones, Jr. better known as Indiana Jones. Played then by a thirty-eight year old Harrison Ford, the brave adventurer would forever be remembered as being apart of what many claim to be the greatest adventure film of all time, 'Raiders of the Lost Ark.' Who would've known then we'd still be seeing him up on the big screen here twenty-seven years later? (Please put your hands down.) In 'Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull' Harrison Ford returns for yet another installment of the now classic series proving (not that he had to) he's still got it. Though it may have taken quite a while for him, Steven Speilberg, & George Lucas to arrive at an agreement after seemingly ending the series in '89, it doesn't appear to make any difference to those thousands who flocked to midnight showings just a couple of days ago.

    Taking place in 1957 'Crystal Skull' picks up nineteen years after Jones' last escapade 'The Last Crusade.' Once captured by a group of Reds lead by Irina Spalko played by the super talented Cate Blanchett Indy and his friend Mac are forced to aid in their mission to find a lost crystal skull. Along for the ride is star of the moment, Shia LeBeouf as greaser Mutt, Jon Broadbent as a former colleague of Jones' Harold Oxley, & returning to reprise her role as Indy's old flame from 'Raiders' Karen Allen playing the not-so-fiesty-anymore Marion Ravenwood.

    Going into this I was absolutely ecstatic. I love the first two and 'Crusade' was okay (please don't kill me) so I was really looking forward to what Speilberg and Lucas had in store hoping to impress us all yet again. Sadly I have to tell you, I was disappointed. It's not horrible by any means though. The initial problem lies within the writing and everything else just goes from there beginning with three character mishaps all the while Harrison as Indy remaining great. Here we had Cate Blanchett, one of my favorite actresses for once as a villain. It wasn't her cheesy accent that got me, it was the fact I couldn't get away from the fact that it was fucking Cate Blanchett. In my eyes, just too big for the role. Also, she wasn't all that dangerous. I mean yeah, she could swordfight and was able to throw a few punches here and there, but I didn't find her to be that evil. Next there's Karen Allen back as Marion Ravenwood. Any good writer would've used her and Indy's reunion as more of a way to make the story more dramatic, while in true Jones style equally humorous. Instead all we end up getting is Karen smiling as wide as she can no matter what as if she's just thrilled to have even been invited back. Then finally there's LeBeouf a.k.a. Mr. Hey I Can Have Three Hit Movies In One Summer But Not Really Have Any Talent. Did anyone actually take him seriously in this? I'm sorry, but I just don't see him as the knife-wielding badass type. To me he came off like a pretty boy with a cool cycle.

    The other issue I had regarding this shameful screenplay was the overall inclusion of over-the-top action scene after over-the-top action scene set to an overall flat storyline. This is pretty much how the film flows: death defying stunt, another defying stunt, one more death defying stunt, little bit of story, repeat. With that said, it can't go without saying that there were in fact some really fun and enjoyable moments throughout. The cycle chase, fight atop the cars, as well as the ants attack were all spectacular. I just would've preferred a more well paced approach as was seen in 'Raiders.'

    The thing about 'Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull' though is that there are so many fans out there that will just be pleased another Jones movie has been made that nothing will be able to tarnish their opinion of it. I completely understand that. However, although it's not what they want to hear, the sad truth is, 'Crystal Skull' skull is just okay. Not awful, not fantastic, just okay. If you're looking to pass a couple of hours with some mindless fun, this is the way to do it.


  • Entertainment Weekly Is Funny

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    Ladies and gentlemen, we're but a mere seven days from the official start of the 2008 summer movie season.  Hollywood is hoping the current box office slump will take a turn for the better and begin to rise with releases such as 'Speed Racer', the next trip to Narnia 'Prince Caspian' and Indiana Jones' highly anticipated adventure 'Kingdom of the Crystal Skull' all in the coming weeks.  This past week Entertainment Weekly put out their summer preview issue which includes projections for what they believe will be the top ten grossing films of the summer.  That list is as follows:

    $355.9 mil    01 - 'Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull'
    $310.8 mil    02 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian'
    $280.4 mil    03 - 'Hancock'
    $280.3 mil    04 - 'Wall-E'
    $267.7 mil    05 - 'Iron Man'
    $255 mil       06 - 'The Dark Knight'
    $244.6 mil    07 - 'Kung Fu Panda'
    $176.5 mil    08 - 'The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor'
    $147.2 mil    09 - 'The Incredible Hulk'
    $146.6 mil    10 - 'Tropic Thunder'

    Expectations are high all across the board.  The cumulative total of those estimates comes to $2.465 billion, just $20 million behind the overall top ten of last year.  I'm sorry to burst anyone's bubble, but there is no way in hell the box office is going to bring in those kind of numbers this year.  2007 was the biggest year in history and to say it'll be close here in 2008 is ignorant.

    Even being the goldenboy at the moment won't generate $280 million for Will Smith in 'Hancock.'  While promotion online may be plentiful this is one film people aren't talking about.  As far as super heroes go this summer, it's all about Iron Man and Batman; not some medicore made-up comedian that can fly.  A projected total of $176 million for 'Tomb of the Dragon Emperor?'  Smack dab in the middle of the release weeks for 'X-Files: I Want to Believe' and 'Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D' (which also stars Fraser...) will no doubt put a crimp in it's style and overall revenue.  Also, most of the general public at the moment haven't a clue that this is even coming out in August.  (Yeah, that means start sending out the posters to the theaters now Universal.)  The fact is its been seven years too long since anyone cared about encino man fighting off a CGI monster.  Probably the most shocking of the predictions though is the amusingly ambitious $310 million for 'Narnia.'  This time the buzz isn't as loud and the idea this installment promises to be darker  will in my opinion deter many parents from flocking to see it.  'Wall-E'  will in fact be Disney's bread and butter this year.  

    The following list is my take on what I assume the actual top ten films and their total grosses will be.

    $350 mil    01 - 'Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull'
    $280 mil    02 - 'The Dark Knight'
    $250 mil    03 - 'Wall-E'
    $235 mil    04 - 'Iron Man'
    $225 mil    05 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian'
    $208 mil    06 - 'Kung Fu Panda'
    $183 mil    07 - 'Hancock'
    $145 mil    08 - 'Tropic Thunder'
    $142 mil    09 - 'The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor'
    $130 mil    10 - 'Get Smart'

    The combined total of my list ends up as $2.127, which is far more plausible then Entertainment Weekly's hilarious estimates.  Now there are also a few films that could possibly prove to be surprisers when it's all said and done.  (I didn't include them in the above list because I find them each to be too big of a wildcard.)  Depending on just how many hardcore fans of the once popular show of the same name get out and see it, 'Sex and the City' could bring in anywhere from $95-$130 million.  The option to do two sequels wasn't included in the leading ladies' contracts for nothing.  Then of course there's the re-start to the Hulk series which is getting more and more attention as the weeks pass.  A sum of $130-$149 doesn't seem to impossible to me if all goes well for it.  Most importantly though is the quite colorful adaptation from the Wachowski brothers: 'Speed Racer.'  A hefty promotion deal with Mattel, McDonald's, Target, General Mills, Esurance, Lego and others could drive the film to finish as high as $185 million (no, I'm not kidding) depending how well audiences respond.  The only sure things about this summer are 'Indiana Jones' will not live up to it's hype, 'Dark Knight' will positively rock and 'Wall-E' will be Pixar's finest animated feature to date.


  • Oscar Picks (WOOOOOO!!!)

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    No lengthy explanations as to why, just short and sweet; here are my picks for tonight's 80th Annual Academy Awards.


    - Best Visual Effects: Diana Miao for 'Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End'

    - Best Sound Mixing: Alan Meyerson for 'Transformers'

    - Best Sound Editing: Skip Lievsay and Joel Dougherty for 'No Country for Old Men'

    - Best Original Song: 'Falling Slowly' from 'Once' written and performed by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova

    - Best Original Score: Dario Marianelli for 'Atonement'

    - Best Makeup: Liz Dann for 'Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End'

    - Best Costume Design: Colleen Atwood for 'Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street'

    - Best Film Editing: Tatiana S. Riegel for 'There Will Be Blood'

    - Best Art Direction: Gary Freeman for 'Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street'

    - Best Cinematography: Seamus McGarvey for 'Atonement'

    - Best Documentary: 'Sicko'

    - Best Animated Picture: 'Ratatouille'

    - Best Foreign Language Film: 'The Counterfeiters'

    - Best Adapted Screenplay: Ronald Harwood for 'The Diving Bell and the Butterfly'

    - Best Original Screenplay: Diablo Cody for 'Juno'

    - Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett as Jude Quinn in 'I'm Not There'

    - Supporting Actor: Casey Affleck as Robert Ford in 'The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford'

    - Leading Actress: Ellen Page as Juno MacGuff in 'Juno'

    - Leading Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis as Daniel Plainview in 'There Will Be Blood'

    - Best Director: Paul Thomas Anderson for 'There Will Be Blood'

    - Best Picture: 'No Country for Old Men'

  • Top 10 Favorite Films of 2007

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    Under discussion:

    Grindhouse  (2007)

    Hairspray  (2007)

    Black Snake Moan  (2007)

    Ratatouille  (2007)

    La Vie en Rose  (2007)

    Atonement  (2007)

    Juno  (2007)

    Bratz  (2007)

    Here it is, one final post relating to the movies of 2007.  This in my opinion is really the only list that counts.  Here I'm not talking about the supposed best films of the year (although some certainly are) but rather which ones I personally loved most.  This time I'm actually going to place them in order though.  So sit back and relax as I unveil my top ten favorite films of 2007.  (Sadly, 'Bratz' is not one of them.)


     [10] 'Black Snake Moan'
    I love Samuel L. Jackson.  He's the only reason I'm even interested in the upcoming action-flick 'Jumper.'  His role in 'Black Snake Moan' as the bluesman Lazarus was something completely different for him.  This was a movie which basically boils down to being about a black man reaching out to a lust driven white girl in an attempt at helping her with her sickness.  Sounds a little dirty when in fact their relationship in the film is anything but.  The sad thing is this turned out to be a defining role for Jackson and most people have never even heard of the film.  Kudos to Craig Brewer for creating such a different story for us to experience.


     [09] 'Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End'
    After the disgusting fiasco in 2006 better known as 'Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest' I must say I was taken back by the fact I actually enjoyed 'At World's End.'  This guilty pleasure not only is one of my favorite films of 2007, but is also my greatest theater-going experience of the year.  For me there has always been something about being at large showings that just gets me excited.  The sold out premiere that took place on Thursday May 24 did just that.  Seeing this surprisingly fun flick with my dad in a theater packed to the brim with lovers, haters & newcomers to the 'Pirates' franchise was fantastic.


     [08] 'Across the Universe'
    'Across the Universe' was definitely the film I anticipated most of all in 2007.  After months and months of waiting I was rewarded with an additional three weeks of waiting due to the ridiculous snobs at Revolution Studios.  I bet they sure had their share of laughs once the film failed at the box office.  To them I say, **** you.  Even though it turned out to not quite be as amazing as I had envisioned it still remains to be among my favorites.  From the creative army induction scene to Mr. Kite's whimsical circus almost every moment of it is pure gold.  Plus, now every time my ears are filled with Joe Anderson and Salma Hayeks rendition of "Happiness Is a Warm Gun" I'm instantly transported to another place located somewhere between joy and delight.

     [07] 'Atonement'
    'Atonement' is an interesting movie.  I liked how it was artsy enough to be considered among the Oscar front-runners and mainstream enough to feature an ending that only had me reminiscing about 'Titanic' despite very large differences.  I also liked how it was able maintain a balance of almost every genre.  It had its funny moments, anger streaks, thrilling sequences, dramatic tone, & of course romance.  Honestly, I liked it so much I'm anxious to read the novel it's based on which I'll begin once I finish with 'The Mist.'



     [06] 'Hairspray'
    Never would I have guessed that a movie starring Zac Efron would end up as being one of my favorites of the past year.  I have to admit though, it was just so much fun to watch.  And watch I did; five times while it played in theaters to be exact.  One of those viewings was even at 10:40 in the evening after a storm had knocked out the power at my house during mid-August.  There I was all alone in that big auditorium seeing John Travolta shimmy and shaking on screen to his hearts content as "You Can't Stop the Beat" played.  Scarier things can't even be seen within the darkest of nightmares I guarantee.


     [05] 'Ratatouille'
    Going into 'Ratatouille' I wasn't really sure what to expect.  Yes, it was directed by Brad Bird who created another highly acclaimed Disney-Pixar film titled 'The Incredibles' a few years prior so it had that going for it.  But one has to question just how good a film about a rat who aspires to cook in Paris could be.  Once it was all over and I had seen it, my only question from then on which I pondered many times was will any other film top that this year?  The answer remains the same to this day: no.  It was a perfect example of Disney at it's finest and I've yet to see a film released in 2007 that managed to be better than it in terms of movie making.


     [04] 'Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street'
    Another Tim Burton movie, another time Johnny Depp is cast as its lead.  We've been down this road before except this time it was truly great.  Since the ending wasn't a jaw-dropper it would only be necessary for there to be other reasons why it turned out to be so.  Hence why such emphasis and recognition is required regarding the flair and style exhibited by the cast.  Burton's wife Helena Bonham Carter as Mrs. Lovett proved to hold her own with her not-so-smooth but rather rough vocals required to pull off the performance.  Depp who wasn't exactly awe-inspiring in the singing department but not dreadful either per say was equally impressive.  The only real problem I had with 'Sweeney Todd:' was the CGI-heavy opening credits.  I've always loved how Burton takes the audience on a ride through the world in which his film takes place.  Here though I just didn't understand why it was needed to feature so much CGI in the sequence when the remainder had little to none.  No biggie though, like I said I thought it was great.

     [03] 'Juno'
    This movie which was inspired by Jamie Lynn Spears' recent headlines (ha, ha, ha) was for me the funniest of the year.  The dialogue in it is so smart and so honest I had a smile so wide I was poking the people sitting beside me in their each of their cheeks.  The fact the little thirteen year-olds that were behind me on the way out after it was finished were spouting aloud how they liked 'Knocked Up' better filled me with complete and uncontrollable rage.  Thus I was not at fault when I spun around and pummeled them to the floor leaving them drenched in a lukewarm puddle of Coke from their half-drank sixty-four ounce cups they bought at the concession stand earlier.  Well, not really, but I would have immensely enjoyed doing so.

     [02] 'La Vie en Rose'
    No actress was more on point or convincing in 2007 than Marion Cotillard in this bio-pic.  She was beyond beautiful to watch.  Then there was the scenery which was almost as mesmerizing as she was.  I'm a sucker for backgrounds and such, and boy let me tell you 'La Vie en Rose' delivered.  The city of Paris was fascinatingly smutty and grungy (in a good way) while New York was alluring and gorgeous.  The way the lights sparkled behind Cotillard and Martin before they depart for the first time at the hotels entrance was lovely.  Anyone who has any interest in the life of Edith Piaf should absolutely see this movie.


     [01] 'Grindhouse'
    Amazing.  Kickass.  Awesome.  Mind-blowing.  Incredible.  Marvelous.  Wahootastic.  Are there any other words that more perfectly describe my favorite film of the year?  It really sucks that people just didn't get this great piece of cinema.  I mean seriously how hard is to understand that Rose McGown sporting a machine-gun leg plus Kurt Russell killing people with a car equals three hours and twelve minutes of crazy cool?  OH, POOR LITTLE TONY!!!  MOMMY TOLD YOU TO BE CAREFUL WITH THAT GUN!!!  Just great.  Now I've  gone and confused people who haven't seen it even more because they're not going to know what the hell that last bit even referred to.  Oh well, here's to my involuntary continuing of the problem.

     

    Okay, I'm done.  No more posts about 2007 I promise.  All posts about movies from here on out will only pertain to that of releases of 2008.  Once again, thank you to those that took the time to read.  I love you all.

     

    Dedicated to all of my friends: those very special people who put up with my non-stop jabbering about movies.


  • The 10 Best Films of 2007

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    Under discussion:

    Zodiac  (2007)

    Bee Movie  (2007)

    Michael Clayton  (2007)

    Grindhouse  (2007)

    Underdog  (2007)

    I'm Not There  (2007)

    Ratatouille  (2007)

    Gone Baby Gone  (2007)

    La Vie en Rose  (2007)

    Sicko  (2007)

    Atonement  (2007)

    Superbad  (2007)

    Away From Her  (2006)

    Juno  (2007)

    Once  (2007)

    The Kite Runner  (2007)

    Hello, my name is JP Paxton and I love movies.  What began in mid 2004 has since became my uncontrollable obsession that can now be considered nothing less than an incurable sickness.  Seriously, I probably think of a movie or something movie-related once every ten seconds.  Because of this, I am propelled to constantly see, write & talk about movies.  Those of you who are my friends or at least know of me already know this.  For the ones that don't, now you know.  Here it is New Year's Eve which means that yet another year has passed.  Of course though that also means I'm here to let you all know what films I consider the best of 2007.  This year certainly had its share of disappointments including but not limited to 'Bee Movie', 'Underdog' & 'Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium.'  I still can't recall what made me even think 'Underdog' might have possibly had a shot at being even half-decent.  With the bad though there's always some good.  For example 'Once'; the independent musical starring actual musical artists as the films two leads instead of actors resulting in real on-screen emotion.  Also this year featured the thrilling crime-drama 'Zodiac' depicting the merciless murderers that started in the 60's by the infamous serial killer of the same name.  Then there was the film that would inevitably become my favorite of 2007: 'Grindhouse.'  The throwback to the gritty, low-budget exploitation double features of the 70's caused confusion among audiences nationwide due to marketing that didn't quite reveal its true nature.  For those of that did understand it though we were able to appreciate it's kick-ass style and utter awesomeness.  However, not one of the films I just mentioned are included in the list that follows and neither are 'Michael Clayton', 'Away From Her', 'Before the Devil Knows You're Dead' or 'Gone Baby Gone.'  They all had some great qualities but just fell short in the end. With that, here they are in all their glory in no particular order, the ten films deemed by yours truly as the best of 2007.

    The passionate and troubled life of Paris singer Edith Piaf features one of if not the most captivating performances of the year.  Written with her in mind by director Olivier Dahan, Marion Cotillard is flawless.  I imagine she'll be a shoe-in for a nomination of best actress at this years Oscars.

    Tim Burton and Johnny Depp's sixth collaboration together is a "bloody" good Gothic feast for the eyes.  It's true, it is repetitious of Burton's previous works in terms of  style but it's also a smooth and elegant telling of the macabre brought to life by its great music.

    This was actually the final film I saw this year and how glad I am that ended up getting the chance to do so.  It is an immensely funny, clever & sweet comedy starring the fantastic Ellen Page.  Its greatest strength resides in the smart screenplay written by Diablo Codybest known for memoir titled "Candy Girl: A Year in The Life of an Unlikely Stripper."

    One of three book adaptations featured in this best of list 'The Kite Runner' brings to the big screen Khaled Hossenini's gripping novel of friendship and betrayal.  While many will argue the exact opposite, I found it to be an amazing story that will touch your heart.

    Take one ambitious rat named Remy, an array of astounding visuals that could only be created by Pixar studios and then mix them with the delightful storytelling and directing skills of Brad Bird.  Let it simmer for a few years and what do you get?  A delicious film that reinforces the fact that even after all these years magic has yet to leave the imaginative Walt Disney Pictures.

    Oh, how patriotic Michael Moore is.  He returned this year with his documentary voicing the horrors of the healthcare system in America.  The surprisingly interesting and entertaining two hours and three minutes and will make you cringe and leave you in complete awe.

    The opening film at this year's Venice Film Festival and adaptation of Ian McEwan's novel brought to the table a wondrous tale of longing which featured magnificent cinematography and an equally lovely score composed by Dario Marianelli.  It's such a shame it's not playing in more theaters here in the U.S.

    Written by Seth Rogan and Evan Goldberg when they were just thirteen years old 'Superbad' turned out to be super good.  The Judd Apatow produced comedy is hands down one the years funniest films that offers a truthful glimpse of teenage anxiety and has a groovy soundtrack to boot including cuts from composer Lyle Workman as well as tracks from The Bar-Kays and Rick James.

    The bio-pic formed and executed in a way that resembled one of its subjects own songs 'I'm Not There' gave an interesting look at the life of Bob Dylan.  While it wasn't quite what I had envisioned beforehand it still is probably the best put together and creative film of 2007.

    The most compelling film of the year is brought to us by The Coen brothers.  It gives us a front row seat to the violent game of cat and mouse portrayed by Josh Brolin and a extraordinarily crafty Javier Bardem as Anton Chigurh from the bestseller by Cormac McCarthy.  There is no doubt in my mind a best picture nomination in store for this flick.


    So there you have it.  You may agree or disagree with my choices, it doesn't really matter to me.  Just be aware that if you don't agree with me you are wrong.  DEAD WRONG.  Right now I'm typing this as my face sports a disturbingly angry expression...  Seriously though, I wish you all a safe and happy new year.  Thanks for reading.

  • Irrefutable

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    After almost fifty years thereafter their debut in 1958 Alvin and his chipmunk brothers Simon and Theodore have returned and are starring in their very own live-action/CGI feature film.  The five-time Grammy award winning trio has remained pretty much the same.  Simon is still the smart one, Theodore is still the chubby one & Alvin is still...well Alvin.  Let me make it perfectly clear though, I certainly didn't have high expectations for this film from the get-go but I can't refute the fact there was something that definitely surprised me about it.  (This is part where you assume the cute little critters' re-telling of their rise to fame turned out to be pretty good.)

    There's no denying they're cute.  Especially Theodore (voiced by one-hit-wonder Jesse McCartney) who was the actual leading munk as opposed to Alvin.  The chunky little, green hoodie-wearing guy who's obviously short a few acorns steals most of the spotlight with his adorable innocence.  Also, as far cuteness goes there was no scene more touching than the opening of the Christmas gifts with their manager and friend Dave played by Jason Lee.  Even the most cynical person would be unable to prevent themselves from smiling during each of their unveilings.  However, no matter how cute they may be it doesn't make up for the overall mess of a movie this turned out to be.  (This is the part where you question just exactly where I am going with this.)

    Jason Lee who earlier this year voiced the lead character in an atrocious movie by the name of Underdog was absolutely lousy as Dave.  From his facial expressions to the familiar yell of "AAAALLLLVVIINNNNNN!!!" it all was ridiculously and horrendously forced.  Nothing about his character was believable because of this.  Oh, but then there's David Cross (who's not even a half-decent actor to begin with) as the money-hungry record executive Ian Hawk.  However, fo