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  • Win big $$$ playing games

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    E-@thletes  (2008)

    Jonathon Boal and Artem Agafanov made the documentary E@thletes at a time when competitive team-gaming seemed ready to expand into a new world of professional competition. The film presented, at the time they released it, a cutting-edge view of two teams out on the road, just before both teams joined a new league. By the time I watched the movie, league play was already into its second season and the film had become, for me, a how-it-all-happened tale. By the time I began writing this review, the league was out of business and team gaming had returned to the state it occupied before Boal and Agafanov began their documentary. And now, much later than that, in the midst of an economic slump, I have no idea how electronic gaming, competitive or otherwise, is faring. Holy cow. Will anyone ever see the movie? Will anyone ever read this review? If I fall over in the woods, will anyone ever hear me go?

    Whatever. Video-game revenue outstripped cinema ticket sales long ago, and then passed DVD rental sales. Companies spend millions developing new games, betting that one hit will pay for all their flops and make a profit for the company. Innovation is somewhat restricted these days by corporate rules, but it creeps in once and a while anyway. Amateur developers can now create new games using free tools, and deploy them to consoles and handhelds, not just desktops. Prize-winning opportunities for kids playing video games began to increase as gaming revenues increased. Even with the huge dip in revenue during the 08/09 recession, year-to-date totals at the end of July, '09, stood at $8.16 billion. A huge, young demographic with plastic in its back pocket is whiling away the Generation Y hours in cyberspace, guns and other weapons in its paws.

    e-@thletes highlights one consequence of the sloshing about of gaming dollars back in 2006 - the growth in pro gaming. The film follows two teams of young men paid to hit the road and compete at tournaments offering cash prizes to the winners. Ever been on one of those 5-day, 32-country tours? The movie includes a team tour of China with a film montage of, say, 10 cities in 100 seconds. (More than 100 Chinese cities have a population greater than one million, by the way. America has 9. The 100th largest city in the U.S. is Boise. Lot of folks living in China.) And speaking of seconds, the filmmakers shot something like 20 hours of film at a tournament and cut it down to less than 60 seconds for an opening clip in the movie. The filmmakers were in their early twenties when they made the movie; Boal began it as a final film-school project. Micro budget: some money from Intel for services rendered; travel and motel costs picked up by one of the teams; some money from dad. In seventy zippy yet professional minutes, the film interleaves interviews with the members of two Counter-Strike teams, their parents, scenes of team travel, competitive gaming action, and the obligatory talking heads - six of them.

    Counter-Strike is a first-person shooter video game that pits a team of counter-terrorists against a team of terrorists in a series of rounds. Each round is won by either completing the mission objective or eliminating the opposing force. First-person shooter (FPS) games are a genre featuring weapons-based combat viewed as if seen through the eyes of the player." That is, on one level, E-@thletes is a frag movie that features shooting, bombing, and killing. We don't see enough of it to get excited, however.

    e-Athlete: Someone who enjoys computer games (too much). Often possesses a grandiose sense of self. "I don't get out much. I pwn noobs on the net because I'm an e-athlete."

    The two teams: Team 3D, the well-funded top-dogs, and CompLexity, a diverse bunch gamers brought together by a lawyer with a gaming vision and some personal money to invest in the future of the sport. A climatic match between the two teams awaits us at the end of the film. When the filmmakers chose these two teams to follow, they chose well. The movie has a nice arc, with a beginning, a middle, and an end. The Intel-sponsered Team 3D was the first professional Counter-Strike team outside of Europe and Asia. 3D's motto: "Desire. Discipline. Dedication. Intel." A 3D team manager keeps the boys in line as they squabble and mostly beat other teams. Squabbling teammates are always of interest in sports, but hard to get on tape in a documentary, including this one. At one point, a team captain is deposed and replaced, but nobody dishes for us onscreen. I was reminded of the 70s documentary An American Family, wherein we follow the Loud family for hours and hours and then, in a hard-to-hear couple of minutes in a restaurant near the end, the mom and dad suddenly agree to get divorced, and I'm like, What? Where did that come from? But no tape to rewind in those days.

    You can find E-@thletes on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and its own site but it isn't mentioned in IMDB. Boal told me that when the movie was finally finished and ready for release (post-production took a year), he and Agafanov decided to focus their distribution efforts on the gamer community and its various websites. I'm guessing that, based on the google hits for the movie, as befits a gamer flick, most viewers downloaded it via one torrent or another. When Boal and Agafanov submitted it to IMDB, it wasn't accepted because of its limited distribution, but the film added the Philadelphia Independent Film Festival to its resume after that and if the makers ever take the trouble to resubmit, it'll probably get listed.

    As I mentioned above, even though, at this point, the movie is way past being stop-the-presses current, it's structured with a narrative that suggests we're getting the current poop - perhaps an error in the director/editor's emphasis when applied to such a a fast-evolving environment. To wit: the two teams are introduced as the best, the cream of the crop, the only two sponsered teams in a world of gamers. We are told that it's becoming possible to earn a living playing video games. As the movie comes to an end in 2007, a gaming league is created and we watch a draft of gamers at the Playboy Mansion to populate it. The league, The Championship Gaming Series, was owned and operated by DirecTV. This was an international electronic-sports league based in the U.S. and then "expanded to every continent except Antarctica for Season Two." The league expired suddenly after two seasons. compLexity went away, came back with different players, drama ensued, the founder retired, all ancient history now. At the end of the movie, the founder of compLexity is quoted as saying that if the league fails, there won't be another to follow it. I'm no expert on gaming, but I think that various leagues did follow the failed CGS, but they're all gone, too, now, I think, except for Major League Gaming. Gamers making six figures have come and gone... though by the time  you read this, who knows? With gaming generating billions, somebody is still getting rich, I presume. My mom's lifelong best friend was Nolan Bushnell's mom (Nolan created Pong, the first video game, and Atari, and Chuck E. Cheese, and something else after that, and lives about two billion dollars up the hill from me here). As girls, his mom and my mom grew up on adjacent farms. Shouldn't that be worth a few million to me, Nolan's mom's best friend's kid? Even just a lousy million? But no. Nothing has rubbed off on me but a plate of potato salad that his mom insisted I eat the last time I saw her in Utah. Tasty!

    Anyway, my only negative about this well-made film: the documentary is structured, on one level, as a genre sports film. The established corporate team of winners, touring the world, idolized, pulling down the $$$, is challenged by the upstart misfits, who come together and begun to win. As is traditional in this type of movie, the rivalry is hyped throughout and brought to a climax with a major showdown at the end of the film, just at the dawn of the new era of league sports. Then, unaccountably, as the two teams engage in their final struggle, instead of descriptions of the match with on-screen illustrations, the docu's talking heads pipe up and tell us... well, I have no idea what they were telling us because I was trying to watch the frigging match! (I consider this not a spoiler, but a warning of impending disappointment), which was 1-0 and then, all of a sudden, 9-5 (a match can take hours) and then, oops, it's over. This is a climax? But I took consolation in the fact that the extras disk had a feature on this final match. When I watched it, however, it consisted of shots of all the players sitting at their keyboards, no shots of the screen action, what they were seeing, what they were doing, how the match was progressing. No final-game narrative.

    None of the detail and tension experienced while watching the Dynamo and Itkakuskaya National Chess teams battle it out over 20 boards in Oblasteskva Stadium.

    Five talking heads appear rhythmically throughout the movie, explaining, as experts, that... well, I can't remember what they explained. Something about kids and video games? Are video games still called video games? 137,000,000 Google hits. Electronic games = 74,500,000 hits. I wonder what single search term in all of English garners the greatest number of Google hits, and how many hits that is? What's the hit limit, if any, for Google? More than one trillion pages are registered. Anyway, the talking heads comprise authors and the editor of GotFrag Magazine (http://www.gotfrag.com/portal/story/36956/  Don't believe anything I say about gaming; read GotFrag instead), all the heads serious onscreen but none dour. Serious because they've got books for sale on the subject; not dour because, after all, the subject is video gaming. I have not read any of their books, though I did trouble myself to price them all on Amazon ("Smartbomb," "Gameboys," "Got Game," "Everyting Bad is Good For You"), and could have had the lot, used, for a mere $16.76 plus shipping. I subscribe to "To The Point," "Left, Right, and Center," "Planet Money," and sundry other talking-head podcasts, and listen to them daily. From this I infer that I like talking heads. So why can't I remember word one of the offerings of this E-@thlete bunch (Aaron Ruby, Mike Kane, John Beck, Steven Johnson, and Heather Chaplin)? Hmm. I haven't read any of the books written by the talking heads I listen to every day, either. Or remember in particular what they've said. In fact, I'm reminded of what happens when I am made to sit through a sermon in church. I understand the words that I'm hearing, assuming that the sermon is spoken in my native tongue. I understand the concepts. The meaning of the sermon as a whole, however, the import, usually eludes me; or perhaps I elude it. Sermons. They're meaningless to me. I don't forget what I've heard; in some sense or other I just don't hear anything in the first place. A sermon is something that comes between the songs - often occuring annoyingly at the same time as a ballgame on TV. From this I gather that talking heads must be talking to or arguing with each other, as in the podcasts that I listen to, for me to hear and understand and remember what they are saying. I will listen to and ponder the pronouncements of conversing talking heads, but not to a lone talking head talking at me. I might also still be annoyed at Sun Dogs for using a legitimate people's activist talking head in an infomercial designed to further enrich the rich at the expense of a couple of poor dogs.

    I was in a documentary once, by the way. Up on the big screen. High on a rock wall, free climbing, facing death, sweat running off my back, muscles on the verge of failure, blue sky above and thin air below! I checked out the audience during a screening and spotted a few mouths hanging open. Wow! And then, wtf, the rock wall, with me on it, was suddenly replaced by my parents' kitchen with my mom standing in front of a sink full of dishes, brow knit and her going on about how I was raised to be responsible and how much I meant to the family and what was I doing taking my life in my hands when I should have been out in the shantytowns going door-to-door proselytizing and converting the inhabitants of Burkina Vaso (formerly Upper Volta) instead of traumatizing her and my dad and my sister by climbing without a rope, without, well, without a net, after all that she and my dad had done for me. Then my dad, down in the rumpus room behind the bar, just shaking his head, doleful, pointing to my trophy from the debating-society championships, pointing to the family Bible signed by Billy Graham himself, dad taking a drink from his highball glass and clinking the cubes. So the parents that appear in E-@thletes? They support their kids; but conflict being the essence of drama, this means - no drama. One dad, a Canadian documentary maker himself, does intone "Some nights when Griffin didn't come home at all, I'd go looking for him, usually ending up downtown in his favorite video game place. In these, the opium dens of the 21st century, an elctronic hook deep in the brain of harmless killing..." Spoken like a true parent! Let's keep in mind that these young adults are sitting in front of a screen for, say, five hours a day, clicking a keyboard with their left hand and moving and clicking a mouse with their right in order to win a kill-or-be-killed video game. Where's (where're?) the sunlight and fresh air? Where's the vitamin D and exercise? Where's the organic Vegan cooking instead of pizza? The good news: the rooms aren't smoke-filled. Steroids don't enhance performance. Or, wait a minute, what about drugs? Are these young men (no sign of a female gamer from start to finish) all jacked on some pill I've never heard of? That kid who chewed a hole through the linoleum floor when he lost - was that drug-induced behavior? We don't know.

    If you enjoy shooter games and, watching these young competitors, feel a sudden urge to spend some time sharpening your skills with a view toward winning a little prize money, permit me to remind you that even if you don't currently play tennis, for example, if you're in reasonable shape you can go buy a racquet, take a few lessons and shortly become the best tennis player on your block. Dedicate your life to the game and you might, in time, become the best player in your town, if your town isn't too large and you're not already too old. But that's about it. You can eat, sleep, live, dream, and pray about tennis 24x7, juice up, study with John McEnroe, bribe the line judges, and still, somewhere in your county, nevermind your state, you will encounter a 13-year-old of either sex who will clean your clock. That is in the nature of the human body, the psyche, and sporting competition. So is it also with e-gaming.

    End note: The movie does not deal with cheating, a fact of gaming competition that could command a documentary of its own.

     


  • Lucy Liu at 41

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    Viewed Watching the Detectives the other night - a light romantic comedy starring Cillian Murphy and Lucy Liu. Cillian is 33 but in the movie he's playing a younger guy, or so it seemed to me. He has a baby face, so that works ok. Back in the days of Dobie Gillis, Dwayne Hickman and Bob Denver were in their late 20s playing high-school students; Dustin Hoffman was 30 when The Graduate was released.

    Lucy Liu, on the other hand, is 41. She can pass for younger and she's playing a Murphy contemporary in the movie, and I'd watch her in anything anyway cause I've got a little Lucy Liu jones going, but having said that, it cannot be denied that life is beginning to leave a few signs of road wear on the Liu corpus. The camera is good to her, but, oops, a quick shot of her hands... The hands go first. I read somewhere that the hands go last, but not so. Also a flash or two here and there in the movie - just a flash - of Lucy looking like her mother.

    A few words on the subject of female stars past 40, which I posted earlier. The thing is, in "Watching the Detectives," Lucy is playing a lovable, or not so lovable, wacky liver of life, hyper, unattached, no doubt because of her deeply neurotic behavior. Cillian, the watcher of TV, of movies, is her antithesis. Meet cute. Mortal opposites instantly attracted. Each pulling the other toward the center while the centrifugal force of their behavior and personalities tends to send them spinning away from each other. What will happen? Will they, can they, end up together, these two? The thing is, if we take Lucy as a woman in her 40s, she isn't zany, she's nuts.

    And by the way, how is it that English, Irish, Australian, and New Zelandish actors do American accents so well? No hint of Cork in Murphy's work here.

    Or am I crazy? It's called acting, isn't it? If Lucy gets a gig in which she is required to act young and kooky, a gig's a gig, isn't it? If Mimi Rogers is called upon to play a thirty-something in "Storm Cell" when she is in fact 53, who is Mimi to say no? Who is Mimi to turn down the Rita Fiori role in "Stone Cold" in spite of the fact that Rita is supposed to be a spectacular show-stopping babe?

    Just to be clear, I have no problem with movie romances in which older women hook up with younger men, no more than with the opposite. But it's just too bad if Lucy had to take the role of a giddy twenty-something just to get work. (Same with Cillian Murphy but not so bad. In fact, I thought Paul Rudd (40) seemed a little old for his role in "I Love You Man.")

    "Watching the Detectives," by the way, is not good.

    No, wait. Just caught the last five minutes and came away feeling ok with the film. Lucy's character has been burned and burned again; she's desperate. Delivers a little monolog at the end which on one level could be taken as the desperate cry for love of a 40-something willing to go to any lengths to reel in this B-level dude.

    Visit MRQE for a list of reviews explaining in detail why the movie sucks. I'm giving it a pass.

    You know how sometimes when you look up an actor in IMDB and you see that he or she has been in many, many movies that you've never heard of? This is one of those movies. I'm guessing that Cillian and Lucy will thank you for not watching it. Maybe they're both Broken Lizard fans.

    Final question: Lucy has modeled. Throughout this movie she is garbed to look good. So in the final scene she's in a nifty little green flowered spring number with a scoop back that reveals her bra strap. A style statement, or what? Please explain.


  • Watchmen

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    Film Name  Production Year

    Watchmen  (2009)

    After I watch a movie, I read some reviews about it to find out whether I liked it or not. A.O. Scott does a nice job on Watchmen, but he tells me that I didn't like it as much as I thought I did. The gist of his argument seems to be that Zack Snyder brought the 80s graphic novel faithfully to the screen and that this was not a good thing: that the ideas in the book are dated and jejune. Scott's review is so well-written that I felt ashamed about writing one of mine own, this one in fact, and I put it aside unfinished.

    But wait a minute. Of course the ideas in the book are dated. The ideas in Pride and Prejudice are dated. So what? And of course the ideas are the sort that would appeal to a teen reader. Watchmen was born as a series of comic books. A.O., grow down.

    But then, I liked "300," so what do I know?

    A.O. also calls out the primary sex scene in the movie as the worst of the year. Evidently A.O. steers clear of 99% of the DVDs on Blockbuster's shelves. At any rate, what I saw in that scene was an ineffective Snyder attempt to maintain Watchmen's PG-13 rating, an attempt doomed from the gitgo by the movie's blue penis.

    That blue penis. Over and over before watching the movie I heard about the blue pee pee. I was expecting gratuitous closeups of the prosthesis. I was expecting an azure member of a size worthy of the movie's only true superhero. What th... The little guy was as unobtrusive in the movie as it was in the book. U.S. society is messed up WRT the phallus. Judd Apatow ran a couple of focus groups while making Funny People, to discover how many dick jokes in the movie would be too many dick jokes. The answer: you can't have too many. And what is a man's member a member of anyway?

    Like Risselada and some other Spouters, I read Watchmen just before watching it. I like to read a book and then see the movie. If the movie heads off in some wrongheaded direction, I might shake my head philosophically, but my bile is not wont to rise when it happens. A shrug is sufficient. For example, Kiera Knightly as Elizabeth Bennet did not do it for me, but I have moved on. I do not brood. Kiera, go back to POTC before Jane Austen comes back from the grave to haunt you. OK, maybe a little brooding eventuated, but hey, Elizabeth Garvie in the role will suffice for me until Pride and Prejudice is remade yet again, which it will be.

    In the 60s, I went gaga over Fowles' The Magus. But then the movie version became my biggest book-to-movie disappointment. On the other hand, I read Robert Parker's Appaloosa a while back and believe me, Ed Harris is the perfect Virgil Cole in the movie version. Ditto Tom Selleck as Parker's Jesse Stone. Perhaps a reader who found Watchmen magical in the 80s and then waited twenty years for the movie might have problems with it, though I'm willing to bet that most of those folks - I've got no data - loved the movie.

    Anyway, I liked Watchmen the movie better than Watchmen the graphic novel. Snyder left out the pirates and other boring stuff and stuck to the main line, getting it all in, or so it seemed to me. Fresh faces in his casting choices, a big plus. I watched the movie in pieces, as if it were a mini-series, so it didn't seem to run long. And for me, if not for A. O. Scott, adding a collection of 80s tunes to the soundtrack tweaked the experience in a way not possible to a silent book. Even if those tunes have been played to death, which they have been.

    There has been conversation about the excessive violence in the movie. Sorry, I must have been distracted by Maggie Gyllenhaal getting blown up in the Dark Knight, and The Joker's pencil to the eyeball, and Saws I, II, III, IV, and V, and folks checking into hostels never to check out again, whatever, so that I missed the fact that Rorschach in prison got a little extreme. He does splash hot oil in a dude's face, but see, I just watched Trailer Park of Terror, in which the victim is lowered whole into hot oil like a very large freedom fry. At any rate, Snyder had obviously given up on his PG-13 quest by the time he cut together the prison fight scenes.

    Near the end of the book and movie, Dr. Manhattan tells Ozymandias that he's leaving for a galaxy where things aren't so complicated. The average galaxy contains 100 billion stars and there are about 100 billion galaxies in the visible universe. I'm guessing that one collection of 100 billion stars is pretty much the same as another. Stick to your own galaxy, blue guy! Remember, whereever you go, there you are. And about creating some humans of your own: who do you think you are, God? Fundamentalists are outraged! God is not blue! And if you saw His pee pee...!

    For recent urban total destruction, the late scenes in Watchmen are ok (reimagined from the original), but I liked the devastation in "Knowing" better -  speaking of freedom fries.

    Finally, for your consideration, the beginning and end of the Watchmen review found on "Christian Spotlight on Entertainment." A reviewer with his feet in the mud and head in the clouds:

    "For conservative Christian audiences, the prospect of seeing Zack Snyder’s “Watchmen” is a non-starter. There is male frontal nudity (albeit blue and animated); numerous instances of blasphemy; shots of women’s breasts; gory violence; and a nude love-making scene... Watchmen is a long viewing. It is sometimes ponderous, grisly, and confusing, but for those who have read the book and have reasonable expectations of what can be done in cinematic form, it is an instant classic — a tour de force which asks universal questions through comic book characters. For Christians, Dr. Manhattan represents the seeker who questions the existence of God and the meaning of life. His questions are in part answered in the realization that life is a miracle, “gold from air,” unexplained by the processes of nature. When the movie is over, the character that viewers will be most interested in is Dr. Manhattan and his journey to another galaxy, a journey he wouldn’t make if he were just interested in matter."


  • Dog of the week?

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    Yeast  (2008)

    With reference to my previous posting  THE WORST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN: CITIZEN KANE, let me recognize this recent review of Yeast by a Spout member:

    "this movie was by far the worst "indie" film i have ever seen in my entire life... and i don't think that that any movie i see in the future will be nearly as bad at this one."


  • SMOOSHED, THEN WHISKED OFFSCREEN

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    The Rocker  (2008)

    Watched some Sarah Connor Chronicles last night. A T1000 killer robot is crossing the street, just a couple of steps behind Sarah with killing on his cyborg mind, when Bang! a bus or truck crashes into him and carries him offscreen, putting him out of commission just long enough for Sarah to escape. The T1000 is presumably unable to keep track of traffic and chase Sarah at the same time, or perhaps in this instance it was programmed to decommission its urban pedestrian subroutines upon reaching kill-zone proximity to its prey.

    First time that I saw this particular accident/plot device/action sequence - smoosh-and-carry offscreen - as I recall - was in one of the Final Destination movies. Nice! I thought at the time. Something new. Also the second and third and fourth times that I saw this, in whatever the movies that used it, I continued to think, Nice! For example, I remember a romantic comedy in which the husband was a real jerk but crunch, he was removed expediously in the first reel by a taxi cab.

    So who dreamed up this little sequence - this deus ex machina via dumptruck? A tip of the hat to him or her, whomever, though when the T1000 got bonked last night, I noticed that as my How-is-Sarah-going-to-get-out-of-this-one? was answered, my reaction was no longer Nice! but Oh, ok, right, that one.

    Considering that Connor must escape impending death by machine multiple times per episode, it's no suprise that the writers use traffic as a tool in this way. Similarly, Sarah runs over her persuer at least once, driving a truck of her own.

    (Note to self: watch one of these smoosh sequences frame-by-frame.)

    A few points that may or may not be true:

    - The accident only occurs when/if required by the plot. Sort of like when necessary information appears on a TV screen in the movie, or issues from a car radio, just when the protagonist needs it. Smooshing has never happened just for fun. Yet.

    - The victim is carried off from left to right (in U.S. films), because the accident always happens in the lane closest to the camera. If the body goes from right to left, check to see whether everyone in the film appears to be left-handed.

    - When this accident happens to the hero, he or she is bounced up onto the hood, hits the windshield, and goes over the top of the car (it's never a bus) to land on the pavement behind, momentarily stunned. Didn't this happen in The Rocker, for example?

    - This sequence is just a variation based on the cartoon character who looks both ways, steps into the street, and is mowed down?

    - A study has been done. This action sequence was first used mostly at the end of the movie, but now is thrown in as soon as is needed, whenever

    - Because the universe is synchronous, the moment that I began typing this blog entry, an article appeared in Slate about getting hit by a bus, though interestingly, the article does not mention getting hit by a bus in the movies - only in literature.

    So anyway, is it time for new wrinkles? Or have the wrinkles already arrived and I've just missed them? Ways to move on:

    - Victim is in the center of an intersection and is carried off in two perpendicular directions (one-half each) by two trucks or buses.

    - Two victims, one bus? Simese twins, perhaps, or a couple?

    - Slo mo?

    - Put the scene in a western? Stage coach roars by? Amish couple on a flatbed wagon, hauling knurled flour back to the homestead to make pone, carry off pedestrian who squooging through the main-street mud?

    - Victim dances out of the way of the truck, gets carried off by cyclist in the bike lane, with some voiceover PSA dialog or angry cyclist blue language?


  • The Greatest Movie Ever Made: Elf

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    Elf  (2003)

    Knowing  (2009)

    No sooner did I post my thoughts on the worst movie ever made, than Simon Mayo, Mark Kermode's sidekick, weighed in with Knowing as his "worst" candidate, on their 3/27 podcast. Kermode properly told Mayo the same thing that I wrote in my post: Dude, you've missed a lot of bad movies if Knowing is the worst you've ever seen. But then Kermode, who ought to know better, turned around and suggested What Dreams May Come as a reasonable "worst" candidate of his own. Proving that no one is immune to worstitis, the irresistable urge to go the limit when describing a movie that you (you) didn't like.

    It's never just once with these worst-enders. I know because I've checked. Can it be that each time they name a new "worst," it's truly worse than the last worst one that they named? Do they announce their worst car when they buy it? Their worst house? Their worst wife? Their worst newborn?

    Tell me that the movies aren't just getting worster and worster. Tell me that there is bestitis out there as well.

    I googled "Greatest Movie Ever Made." 79,700 hits, including Citizen Kane, of course, and IMDB's Shawshank, and The Dark Knight from the fanboys. But also Conan the Barbarian, I Am Legend, Last Year at Marienbad, Shogun Assassin, and Elf.

    I'm ignoring Peter Igluishvilli's choice of Lions for Lambs as his "worst," as he is only ten years old, just arrived from the woods east of Kutaisi on the Rioni river, and in his life has seen only one other movie, "The House Bunny" (his "greatest").

    It seems that "best" and "worst" appraisals are skewed toward the young, not the old, where the judgement would be based upon a greater number of movies seen. Suppose, for example, that a 110-year-old individual has been watching 100 movies/year since the age of 10. Now suppose that I ask him or her to name the "best" movie out of those 10,000 movies that he or she has seen, and suppose that he or she responds, "Elf." That would indicate some advanced degree of dementia in the cinematic portion of his or her brainpan.

    "Greatest Movie I've Ever Seen" 2,370. Shattered, Hancock, Revolver, Valkyrie, Titanic.

    "Best Movie I've Seen" 85,500 Hmm. Best in a while. Best this year. Best of its kind. Best is more provisional than worst, it seems.

    "Best Movie Ever Made" 110,000. Well, well. "The Best Movie Ever Made" (1997). Directed by Steve Bencich. Otherwise, Easy Rider, Commando ("This is the best movie ever made, it should have won 1 million Oscars." Nice), Showgirls, Crash.

    There seem to be more worsts than bests. Easier to make a bad movie than a good one? "Greatest" picks are less great than "Worst" picks are worse. That is, "greatest" picks are more often bad than "worst" picks are good. What does this mean? That movies are generally worse than we imagine, but, hey, not that bad? Or is it that the motivations behind choosing best and worst are entirely different? Worst springs from disappointment and hurt and a cynical abandonment of hope, a cry for help, abuse from the abused, denial of death, turning away from the void, a disgust at wasting 10 bucks or so, plus parking, coke, and popcorn. Best is warmed cockles or weepy moments or laughter (forgetting) or relief that it wasn't you, or whatever it is that makes art art.

    Since there's a thin line between love and hate, it's no suprise that there are movies listed as both the best and worst ever made. Showgirls, Crash, Hancock, and Citizen Kane all qualify. The U.S. elected George Bush, twice, and then Barak Obama, so why can't Hancock and Kane be brothers?

    I called a guy who listed Zombie Breakfast as his worst. I thought Breakfast wasn't bad. Bad? he said. It was terrible! Undoubtedly the worst movie ever made! I asked him if he'd seen the sequel, Zombie Brunch, a real stinker. Seen it? he said. Yeah, I saw it. It was ten times as bad as Zombie Breakfast. The worst!


  • THE WORST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN: CITIZEN KANE

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    Film Name  Production Year

    Citizen Kane  (1941)

    I was reading the comments for a movie review the other day and one poster identified the film under discussion as "The worst movie I've ever seen." I googled the sentence because it seems to me that I've been seeing it a lot lately. 19,700 hits.

    Some of the movies deemed "the worst ever": 10,000 BC, Open Water, Meet the Spartans, Twister.

    If Twister is the worst you've seen, viewer, then let me warn you that there are a lot, a mighty lot, of seriously terrible movies out there that you've somehow managed to miss up till now.

    Some of the google hits turned out to be for "not the worst movie I've ever seen," but still. Other worst-seens: Wanted, Howl's Moving Castle, Ladder 49, Legends of the Fall.

    It's a strange world that we live in.

    So my question is, how many of these posters list a movie as their worst, but then do it again, and perhaps again, serial worsters, naming many of the  movies they see? Pathalogical worsters. Are these movie-watchers caught in some downward spiral vectoring them toward cinema Hell? Or do they also keep encountering their best-ever? Is every movie that they see either the best or the worst or the most or the least, or were these folks just having a bad day, or are they just lonely and wailing for help or for a little attention, or is hyperbole now a plague in the U.S. that has given us, for example, a major political party for which everything under consideration is either perfectly good or perfectly evil? How does Limbaugh rate his movies, or is he even allowed to go out and see movies?

    "The worst movie I've seen." 15,800 hits. A guy names "Benjamin Button" as his personal worst. Gets some agreement from other commenters but also some violent flames. Best ever/worst ever struggle breaks out over Button. They walk among us, these comment-posters, seemingly normal humans.

    There are sites that do prompt for your worsts, asking "What's the worst movie you've seen?" Nothing wrong with that. Moths to the flame. "The worst movie ever made." 63,200 hits. I've got no problem with legitimate contenders for worst, or with the fun of trying to pick that worst flick. Zardoz, Showgirls, Gigli, Ishtar, Cleopatra, The Hottie and the Nottie, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, the Turkish Wizard of Oz, and many many more, all legitimate contenders. But the googled worst-made list also includes Spiderman 3, Black Hawk Down, Southland Tales, I Am Legend, Lions and Lambs, Star Wars episode III, etc. Were these the picks of hotheads, or the challenged, or those unclear on the concept, or iconoclasts in want of an icon, or simple knuckleheads, or some species of the disgruntled?

    I can name my worst pain and my worst breakup with a girlfriend and the worst President of the U.S. in my lifetime. I'm no worst hater (or wurst hater, either). I personally don't have a worst movie but I suppose I could name a few candidates. The question is, are all the posted "worsts" true candidates like my own, or are they exposing a septicemiaized vein in the body cinematic?

    "The worstest movie I've seen." 2 hits. Talladagea Nights, Signs. Thirteen circles of movie inferno and we're down at the bottom here, in the worstest, the icy lakes of Hades with their movie reviewers frozen in ice up to their padded hips, along with the future shades of Will Ferrell and M. Night Shyamalan.

    Note also that there are chuckleheads who name Citizen Kane the worst, as per the title above. And speaking of the worst, Google also yields: "The Bible is the worst book ever." and "The worst book in the Bible? Okay, this won't be easy. There are only three books in the bible that have more good stuff than bad." and "To the faithful in particular: what's your least favourited/most hated book in the 'good' book?"

    "The worst movie I have ever seen." 28,200 hits. Watchman (of course), Son of Mask, Last Days (the van Zant flick).

    "Most awful movie." 1,430 hits. The Fifth Element, Snakes on the Plane (I've only seen Snakes on a Plane...), Burn After Reading.

    "Most terrible movie." 704 hits. State of the Union, Slumdog Millionaire (of course), Driven, The Door in the Floor.

    "Baddest movie." 1,230 hits. Nah, bad is good.

    "Rottenest movie." 9 hits. Tropic Thunder (because of the r word), Lost Souls, Blazing Saddles.

    "rottnest movie." 2 hits. Cool Runnings, The Lion King.

    These are the worst posts I've ever read.


  • Homo Erectus - a review

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    Homo Erectus  (2007)

    aka National Lampoon's Stoned Age. NL has produced a closetful of clunkers over the years, but Adam Rifkin gets this genre film right, the genre being Movies To Watch While You're Drunk. I was and it was.

     It's all here:

    David Carradine as MooKoo, proving once again that he will do literally anything for a paycheck. He's especially good in the scenes where he's carrying his head under his arm.

    Talia Shire as his wife, mother of the clan, who will do anything for a fur, even if it's off an australeamoustisimus.

    Ron Jeremy as Oog, who doesn't show it, but at this point doesn't really have to anymore. Anybody who cares has memorized it by now.

    Gary Busey as Krutz, who doesn't have to act crazy to be crazy.

    Ali Larter as Fardart, showing off the best set of prehistoric choppers in film history, although Raquel Welch still beats her from the neck down.

    Carol Alt as Queen Fallopia. "You turn me down?? Every Neanderthal between here and the volcano wants to get into this lizard-skin thong!"

    Kansas Carradine as the pregnant cavewoman. David's daughter adds her oiled belly to several of the scenes wherein the women drop their pelts.

    and Adam Rifkin, who gets hit in the head by large rocks twenty, no, twenty-two, no... I was too far gone to keep track.

    The movie poses the question, If you paste large shaggy patches of fake pubic fur over the female actors' actual areas, is that still full-frontal, or what?


  • Doubt: a review

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    Film Name  Production Year

    Doubt  (2008)

    *** COMPLETE AND THROUGHGOING SPOILERS ***

    Ordinarily, I wouldn't begin a review with an adverb. Ordinarily, I would watch a movie, share my thoughts, and walk on. In the case of Doubt, however, I missed the movie in the theater and now, weeks later, I'm still waiting for the DVD. The rips I've downloaded from the internets aren't of any use. Why did AXXO pass on Doubt while ripping Drillbit Taylor? It is not given to me to know. [Much later: it's all over the web now.]

    In the meantime, I read John Patrick Shanley's Miramax screenplay for the film version of Doubt.  Having watched a trailer before reading the script, I did have La Streep and PSH acting the roles in my head, but acting them my way, perhaps not theirs. The script seemed a little thin to me, for a play that won the drama Pulitzer and a Tony in 2005.

    What I know about the drama Pulitzer:

    1. They can't just give it to Angels in America every year, over and over.
    2. Seemingly thin scripts can in fact hide greatness, q.v., Our Town.
    3. Roxanne Pulitzer posed for Playboy; I liked Paloma Picasso better. Such was the cultural training of my youth.
    7. It took four years for Doubt to catch up with Proof.
    8. Shaley received the prize but Cherry Jones and Brian O'Byrne knocking heads might have won it for him.
    5. "Doubt" shares its honor with, among others, "A Streetcar Named Desire," "Death of a Salesman," and "Long Day's Journey Into Night." In the same way, Mike Tyson shares his former title with, among others, Joe Lewis, Rocky Marciano, and Muhammad Ali.
    4. The prize isn't awarded every year. Looking for a book idea? Write one explaining why the award was withheld in the years 1919, 1942, 1944, 1947, 1951, 1963, 1964, 1966, 1968, 1972, 1974, 1986, 1997, and 2006.*

    * Of course, in my conception, the book would be as catty as possible. Politics, rumors, scandalous rumors, and rumors that are god-damned lies welcomed.

    The drama-prize candidate is selected each year by a jury of five, one academic and four critics, based upon their reading of the script, or so I have always understood it. The Pulitzer Committee must then approve the jury's choice. In 1963, the Committee declined to approve Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf because of the play's sex and cussing. In 1986, the Committee overruled the jury's choice of the CIVIL warS, which as far as I know has never been performed in full (your homework: find out why). From these two examples, we can infer that the Pulitzer Committee's overrulings are generally wrongheaded. The year after Doubt, no Pulitzer was awarded. Ongoing controversy over these awards led to the creation of The New York Drama Critics' Circle, which, as it happens, also awarded Doubt the prize in 2006, and also did not award an American prize the following year. 2006 is taken by many as a lackluster year, but I've also heard more than one playgoer complain that if it isn't a New York production with Big Names in it, it won't be picked and may not even be considered. 27 plays were considered in '06 and of the three finalists chosen from these, none received a majority of votes from the 17 committee members. So maybe your no-prize book will turn out to be a bust, due to a surfeit of no-prize plays over the years; but don't let mere facts stop you, not in the weedy garden of the arts.
     
    The drama jury members who picked Doubt in 2005: Michael Phillips (Chicago Tribune—chair), Fran Dorn (University of Texas—Austin), Robert Hurwitt (San Francisco Chronicle), Charles Isherwood (New York Times), and Wendy Wasserstein (playwright). I wrote Phillips, Dorn, Hurwitt, and Isherwood, asking them an assortment of questions about their choice. (Wasserstein died of cancer in 2006.)

    Shanley added "a Parable" to the play's title, "Doubt, a Parable," after its introduction. My first thought was that once he had let his play cool a bit after baking, he too felt that it was thin (or short on filling under the crust, to continue the baking metaphor), and everybody knows that a parable can skimp on characterization and plot in the service of loftier goals. Just a thought. A parable is "a brief, succinct story, in prose or verse, that illustrates a moral or religious lesson. It differs from a fable in that fables use animals, plants, inanimate objects, and forces of nature as characters, while parables generally feature human characters." Do we need a parable Pulitzer? Puts me in mind of that famously short-lived category, the haiku Pulitzer. Jonathon Livingston Seagull for fable Pulitzer! 38 weeks on the NTY Best Seller list and still in print! But I digress.

    What do I mean by "thin"? Print out the script and read the climatic scene, pages 81 to 94. OK, wait. Let me back up and summarize the plot, in case you haven't been out of your cave since the weather turned cold. The Bronx. 1964. Catholic School. Not like Sacred Heart, where my kids went. Old School. The NBs still wear their habits. But Vatican II has happened. Some younger priests are leaning new-school; the school principal, Sister Aloyisius (Aloyisius, the patron saint of students) is old school. Father Flynn is the friendly young chaplain. He is or is not molesting the only African-American (male) student in the school, the population of which is otherwise exclusively Irish/Italian. Come to think of it, though the years have passed, Sacred Heart did recently give the boot to its own chaplain, who looked like the popular graphic version of Jesus Christ and acted a bit too much like him as well.

    Sister A gets on Father F's case. Shanley: "I was very interested in having a powerful character who was certain she was right chasing down a course of action that was going to do a lot of harm if she was wrong and investigating what it was to live in a world that was a clash between certainty and ambiguity." Sister Aloyisius knows that Father Flynn has abused the boy, though she has no proof. Shanley: "Oh, I do not profess to know the end of the play. The end of the play takes place after the play is over, when you go out and have a drink and you have a fight with your wife about what happened." (Schwarzenegger to his wife in Raw Deal: "You should not drink and bake.") The author has said a lot more than this, in numerous interviews.

    Shanley has set himself the task here of walking the line between hints of Flynn's guilt and hints of his innocence, so that we the audience might lean one way or the other but cannot ever know the truth, because the truth isn't included in this, Shanley's creation - a creation that he ends with several ambiguous flourishes. Get it? It's a whirligig. It goes round and round and it's fun to watch for a while and then it stops where it started and you go do something else. It's a gizmo. It's a construction, and the key problems in it and Shanley's solutions to those problems are to be found in the pages of the script, and they are mechanical. The Rubik's Cube Pulitzer.

    I also took strong exception on first reading to pages 65 through 78 - that is, to the scene in which Sister A meets with the boy's mother and in which the mother, hearing that her son is most probably being buggered by his priest, accepts the fact as she keeps her eyes on the prize, a good high school for the boy upon his graduation from St. Nicholas. Shanley the Irishman writes a black family into his play. Limns the family: physically abusive, dangerous father not to be reasoned with or disobeyed; hard-working, saintly but morally primitive mother; bent, wine-drinking son. If Shanley had been black, writing the boy and his mom as Irish, would we then instead have here a drunken, violent, bog-trotting dad; religious, potato-cooking mom with a straw broom in her hand and a sheepy look in her eyes; boy ready to break your knee with a stick? And how does an actress come to deserve an Oscar nomination for 13 pages of work in a film? Parable Oscar. (Well, the part did win Adriane Lenox a Tony.) Reality check: This is it? The best drama 2005 had to offer? Is culture zero-sum? If so, where went the talent that would allow a total equal to that of Tennessee Williams? YouTube?

    Whoa! Dude! Why the hate? Vitriol! Is it a Hitler speech I'm readin? Are ye turnin on yer own kind then, ladee? Buck up, boyo. Go pull yer Finnegan's Wake back out of the firegrate. Sober up. You're worse than himself this way.
     
    Maybe so, but Pineapple Express had nine times the plot that Doubt does.

    Ye could use a little less Pineapple Express yerself, at that, at that. Write JMJ at the top of every page of this review, with a fountain pen. What said the jury, boyo?

    Answering my questions about script vs staging, Michael Phillips' response included:  "I've happily done jury duty for the Pulitzers four different times, and I must say, it stunned me to realize how the various jurors approached the commitment differently. One made it a point never, ever to read the scripts--for him, if he couldn't see it on stage, in New York, in time for the voting, it wasn't eligible. (Ridiculous. A New Yorker, needless to say.) Others believed differently. And yet the overseers, the members of the Pulitzer board to whom the individual juries report to, are the ones making the final decision, and there's a pretty clear pattern of awards (in two out of three cases) going to plays currently or recently on view in New York. Such was the case with "Doubt." But I have to say, that year, nothing else came close."

    Unlike me with my script, Charles Isherwood picked up some big ideas in Doubt as he sat in the playgoing audience, ideas conjured into being by the story and its dialog, ideas more profound than most that he had encountered in that theater seat through many a previous year, ideas, Isherwood said, hinted at by that "a Parable" in the title, ideas about taking refuge in certainty when reality is too complicated. Or, as I like to think of it, Bush vs Obama. Isherwood took Sister A's final moment quite seriously. He also detected no irony in the play. From this I deduce that Cherry Jones and Bri­an F. O'Byrne battled to a draw in the performance that he attended.

    Fran Dorn told me that she went strictly by the script. Some of the other things she said put the idea of writing a book about Pulitzer politics into my head.

    Robert Hurwitt loved the play in its original staging, but when he saw it again in a larger theater, it lost some of its depth for him. Is this an argument against the script on the page, or for it, or neither? Don't stage a close argument between four individuals on a stage at the 50-yard line of Brillo Coliseum?

    So I went back and read the play again. 94 pages. 90 minutes on the boards with no intermission. The movie runs 104 minutes. This time I picked up a sweet spirit present in the thing. Nobody gets hurt here. No violence. No evil or despicable characters. What was eating me when I read Doubt the first time? Shanley is writing from the heart. He dedicated the play to the Sisters of Charity and in particular to his first-grade teacher, Sister Margaret McEntee, who was the model for the young nun in the movie and who acted as a consultant on the film. Cinematographer Roger Deakins used the Sisters' school, the College of Mount Saint Vincent, and St. Anthony in the Bronx, to stand in for the play's St. Nicholas. "I've met many nuns as a result of writing this play," says Shanley. "And my first grade teacher, Sister James, who is still alive and still teaching, was my guest for the opening night, and she's just a doll and incredibly intelligent, and one of many invisible women out there living a life of service to others and they deserve to have our acknowledgement and our thanks." Nun love.

    However, a pure heart in the writer does not guarantee the strength of ten in the script, even if the writer is aiming higher than the construction of a gizmo. Also, let's stamp out the use of "purposefully" to mean "purposely." And, to maintain perspective, let's remember that Shanley in his career also wrote the screenplay for Crichton's Congo. My daughter came back from that one and said only, "Heads roll."

    The sweetness-of-spirit thing did remind me of Moonstruck (1987), for which Shanley won a screenplay Oscar. I watched Moonstruck again last night and, for me, it holds up, but for the fact that we now know where Cher was heading when she made the movie, her arc over the following 20 years, so that her Oscar performance then loses some of its magic now, even though at the time she  really was young, instead of just trying to look that way. Moonstruck. Shanley writing Italian. What is it with this guy? A couple of minor twists in the movie, but again, simple. No irony. Straight down the rails. I'm thinking that with the Oscars and Tony and Pulitzer, Shanley is blessed with the luck of the Irish. Moonstruck's screenplay beat out "Au Revoir les Enfants." Is that luck, or the work of Satan paying for a purchased soul? Perhaps the seeming simplicity of Moonstruck and Doubt is a product or an artifact of that lack of irony in both works, irony often passing for moral depth and complexity these days.

    Doubt begins with Father Flynn speaking to the congregation: "What do you do when you're not sure? That's the topic of my sermon today. There are those of you in church today who know exactly the crisis of faith I describe. I want to say to you: Doubt can be a bond as powerful and sustaining as certainty. When you are lost, you are not alone." And this applies to the movie how? I don't notice any comity between doubters in the script. Sister A, of course, is not one of the community of doubters, being consistently certain, although she does provide an antithetical doubter's bookend to Father F's opening remarks in the last sentence of the play. Perhaps, as Shanley says somewhere, the principal object of the play is to demonstrate that doubt allows for growth and change while premature certainty leads only to a dead end, with his parable directed not at the church but at those who insist on absolutes in society at large. And this applies to the movie how? What growth and change as a consequence of doubt is he referring to? Ours? Doesn't doubt vis a vis Father F's culpability lead to the possibility not of growth but of continued sodomy? Isn't Shanley's argument in favor of doubt here, against right-wing Bushian certainty, rather like sending Linus over to argue with Rush Limbaugh?. There is a legitimate dialectic at play, traditional Church observance vs Vatican II, but Shanley marries the former to spinsterhood and blind unreasoning faith, and the latter, even more unhappily, to pedophilia and pederasty gone wild. I must have been absent from the rectory the day that that particular memo was delivered.

    Now hang on. Let's think this through. We don't have our arms around this thing yet. The play was written in 2005. From the comments of others and of Shanley himself, yes, I assume, as many do, that the play is political. In a simple interpretation, Sister A = George Bush and the Right Wing. This does not mean that PSH = the Left Wing. Rather, Father F represents, for example, the Iraq situation - that is, the problem with which certainty is confronted. So that if Sister A turns out to be correct, proof or no proof, the play must tend to validate her position. But Shanley is on record to the contrary, and structures his play so as to maintain an ambiguity in the situation from start to finish, with the denouement functioning as a criticism of Sister A and her certainty. That is, because of Sister A's actions, Father F's innocence or guilt is allowed to continue unresolved. If innocent, he then suffers from the unfair turmoil and suspicion that Sister A has created in his life; if guilty, he remains unchastised for his behavior and free to continue his misdeeds. Had Sister A been in doubt, even a little bit, she would have proceeded differently, more carefully, more politically, perhaps to a place of resolution. Or, more probably, given the mores of that day, her suspicions, delivered up the chain of command, would have been buried. With our present-day knowledge, we know that this did in fact happen over and over again.

    Since Sister A was not burdened by doubt, however, we don't need to contemplate the historical record. And the play is written to minimize the fact that none of us choose what we know and what we don't know. Knowing is not volitional; we know some things; we don't know other things; it's automatic. Sister A knows this particular thing. In TV and media today, we've been trained to accept the fact that protagonists frequently know things without reason or proof. Characters spring into action even as their sergeant in the precinct or the mayor in his office at City Hall hectors and threatens them. They have precognitive talents, they see the future. "He's lying," they say, and they ain't lying. But Shanley as writer and director can't allow Sister A to prevail in our minds, and neither can the actors, because if so, then the fact that Father F slips away in the end becomes ironic, a miscarriage of justice, an indictment of priests and their sexual predations. And Sister A can easily prevail in this play. If La Streep convinces us, with our viewer's training acting as a handicap in her favor, that she does know what she knows, or if Father F acts his part a little lightly on his feet, or if the boy (the boy in the movie - he isn't seen in the play) appears, well, somewhat used (which we might expect, to justify his mother's acceptance of the situation and fears for his safety at public school or with his father), the goose of the play is cooked. Doubt becomes a simple tale of moral corruption. On the other hand, if La Streep comes across as crazy or embittered and out for blood, the movie might strike us as similar to that scene that has become common in movies: someone, in this case PSH, steps off the curb, usually in the middle of a sentence, and is struck and carried offscreen to the right (or to the left in England) in the blink of a frame by a passing bus or taxi, which in this case would be La Streep.

    We can think of the core of the play as a balance scale, with Shanley adding a bit of guilt to one pan and then a bit of innocence to the other, then more guilt, then more innocence, keeping the loads equal, with Amy Adams present onscreen to instantiate the instrument in her performance.  The strategy has something in common with the avoidance of the "reveal" in a romantic comedy, which if known by the protagonists would settle all issues prematurely. For this reader, Shanley made a major misstep in the script during this doling-out. There is a moment in the climatic argument when Sister A says "I'll hound you" and Father F, rather than defending himself with specifics, plays the "You have no right to exceed your authority" card. To me this jumped off the page at me like a confession of guilt on the priest's part. I'm looking forward to seeing how PSH sells me on that line. Cherry Jones and Brian O'Byrne, and director Doug Hughes, walked the line and managed to leave the issue of guilt in doubt; will La Streep and PSH, directed by Shanly himself, do so as well? Shanley has said that La Streep approached every argument in the movie as if it were a grudge match; La Streep demurs and may bear a grudge against Shanley for saying so. It seems to me that both actors and the director would need to work closely together on a strategy that leaves the audience situated in incertitude when the house lights come up.

    Now the Doubt trailer has just reappeared on the front page of YouTube. I've watched it again. PSH doing the "You have no right" line is in it; it's obvious, as I mentioned above, that playing Father F as effeminate would be deadly to the balance of the movie, but watching PSH erupt onscreen, doing that anger thing that he does, I realize that there are a lot of other ways to go wrong with this parable, and protesting too much might be one of them. The balance is all in the Sister A/Father F chemistry. For example, every so often, the spouse here gets some notion and confronts me with it and, in the case of my innocence, I defend myself, but often have the feeling that I'm defending myself so badly that an audience would never believe me, much less the spouse; but that might be one clever way to sell Father F's innocence - the weak-and-unable-to-defend-myself ploy. Not PLH in this movie, though, not with his neck veins standing out as he verges on apoplexy. It's some other actor who would work it by holding back the anger.

    Another word on this doubt thing. In a film review by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat: "The drama challenges us to take more seriously both the mysteries of the human personality and the uncertainty which lies at the core of our days and doings. Love and doubt converge in the practice of not knowing. And that is the true spiritual path. The world is drenched in mystery and no matter what we do, we can never cut through it all and grab hold of the answer, the one explanation. "X" factors abound, upsetting our rational conclusions. Best to just say "I don't know" and take comfort in the reality that you are not alone." Huh? The issue here is one of potential child abuse. Where does the "practice of not knowing" take us? We can never grab hold of the answer? What if somebody is grabbing hold of something that he oughtn't? How many of us think, or feel, that uncertainty lies at the core of our days and doings? Most of my doings are based on the certainties of heavy traffic at 8 in the morning, movement in my lower regions before lunch, and all local teams missing the playoffs yet again this year. Love and doubt don't converge in the practice of not knowing but in the practice of jealousy, stress, and boredom. On the other hand, asking a priest, at least in the 50s and early 60s, why this and why that got you the response that faith was the answer, faith was required, answers to the questions would not otherwise be forthcoming. Faith was the motive force leading to salvation. Doesn't faith require doubt? Someone somewhere commented that faith and doubt are opposites, but if you know, you don't need faith, do you? I'm asking you, which is why I'm using "you." Asking you rhetorically; no need to write me. What is the opposite of doubt? Not-doubt. Certainty? Can you have faith in your certainty? Can you be certain about a fact but doubt that certainty, if not the fact? Can you feel certain but have no faith in your certainty, so that you believe what God wants you to believe, but without faith? Are questions like these connected to my absence of faith, or my doubt, or my certainty in my non-belief?

    Sister A has an aphorism for every occasion. One of these that raises questions: “When you take a step to address wrongdoing, you are taking a step away from God, but in his service.” Since Sister A is full of aphorisms, is this just a throwaway line to keep the young Sister in line? Or is Sister A saying that as a warrior for God, it is sometimes necessary to step away from the peace, enlightenment, and forgiveness of the Trinity and take up Satan's weapons, anger and aggression, to put down the evildoers, as a Michael of the Faith? That is, the ends justify the means? Or what?

    I was listening to Mick LaSalle (S.F. Chronicle's lead reviewer) in a modest podcast rant about the evils of comparing book to movie; he was saying something to the effect that the movie in your head will always be better than the movie on the screen. Comparing the two in a review is a waste of time, though it felt clever to him while he was doing it. So forth. I suddenly wondered if reading a script and then going to its movie might have something in common with comparing book to movie, and I called up to ask him. In retrospect, reading a script is quite different from reading a book that is later made into a movie. I was surprised when LaSalle replied that he could only recall two times when he read a screenplay before seeing the movie. Especially considering that his wife is a playwright, I expected him to be a frequent reader of scripts and screen plays. The two that he named were Ninotchka and Pulp Fiction. He was familiar with Ninotchka simply because it had been written up with a shot-by-shot commentary frequently used in film classes, and when he saw the movie he found himself bemused as the figures onscreen actually moved. He read Pulp Fiction because he was to interview QT before seeing the movie. He knew the cast list but as he watched the movie, he discovered that he had assigned all the actors to the wrong parts as he read the screenplay; plus, scenes in the screenplay that seemed to him integral to the movie were cut in the theatrical release. In sum, nothing here to inform me about Doubt, as I was unlikely to confuse the parts assigned to La Streep and PSH as I read the script.

    Hmm. I see that Doubt has returned to the metroplex. Must be back for Oscar season. Off I go to watch it! And not to lower the tenor of the discussion, but speaking of nuns and Amy Adams, see page 10 of the script:

    INT. THE BEDROOM - DAWN
    Sister James has bathed. She’s partially dressed but still
    working on her bonnet. She puts on her rosary.

    Satan tempts me with expectations even as I head for the cineplex.

    Note that nobody says "You're off to see Hamlet? Don't bother. You've already ruined it by reading the script. You should have just let the actors bring the pages to life on your blank slate of a brainpan." I'm treating Doubt as if it were a work that is worth something, not as if it were mere entertainment. My regret is that I'll post this before listening to Shanley's own commentary.

    At this point, imagine Bach's Mass No. 1 in F Major, BWV 233, while you wait. Ba ba dum! Dum deedle doo deedle dum, ba dum! Baaa ba dum!

    OK, I'm back.

    What a pleasure to just settle into my seat in an almost-empty brand-new theater and finally watch the damn movie. I enjoyed it from start to finish. Lots to look at and listen to. The movie felt a little earlier than '64 to me, but not by much, and so what? Back in the day, 90% of Catholic school faculty and staff consisted of men and women in the orders; at present, 95% of the staff is lay, which means that they need to be paid. There used to be 12,000 Catholic schools, a large percentage of them catering to lower- and lower-middle-class populations. Now more and more of them are converting to charter, privitizing, going forward with the moral but not the financial support of the Church.

    Hoffman and Streep and Adams and Davis put on an acting class; let me at that community stage - I want to act! Just in the beginning I noticed that I was focusing a bit on the unlikely babealiciousness of Adams, but my companion murmured to me that there were plenty of cute nuns back then, something that I must have forgotten. Then too, Adams laid on the simpiness pretty thick, but hell, she's a beautiful young woman smothered in a habit; doesn't that automatically signify that she's a raving neurotic? It appears that Adams thought so. Hoffman was born three years after the year in which the play is set. Holy cow, he's forty-one already. Makes a perfect priest. Streep was Streep being Streep and relishing it. Unless I was imagining it when I wrote the fact in my notes, her enjoyment tempered her angst, so I was not surprised when Viola Davis said in her Filmspotting #246 interview how much fun Streep had on set. Streep launched the part playing Sister Mary Stigmata but became increasingly human as the movie wore on. Davis I've seen in 14 movies; she sure got this one right; refer to the interview for her thoughts on preparing for the role. Shanley took a chance writing that scene but it worked for me; the crucial interchange happens fast in an overlapping back and forth between Streep and Davis, emotion dialled up all the way, the scene over too quick for us viewers to start asking questions.

    I was wondering on the way over to the plex whether Streep and Hoffman are currently so overexposed for me that they wouldn't be able to disappear into their parts no matter what they did. As Streep exchanged her Prada for a dowdy habit and her Cle de Peau Beaute for ELF,  could she submerge herself in the part enough to prevent me from watching Streep the actress assaying a new accent, recently arrived from Madison County, say, not some nun I don't know? Well, in the event she remained Streep for me, Streep in person onscreen, apotheosis Streep, but lo also became Sister A as well. No holding back; make em laugh, make em cry, make em shake their heads and come back for more. I've watched so much Hoffman lately, the mind reels. He's a national treasure, or am I just invoking Nicholas Cage when I say that? Watching Hoffman in his Roman collar, I realized that I never quite bought Crosby as Father O'Malley, much as I loved his movies. Shanley's intent, when he set out to write Doubt, was to begin with the Nun and Priest stereotypes and then gradually real the real people beneath. Cherry Jones played sister A as physically weak but spiritually strong. No weakness in the 59-year-old Streep; I kept noticing how strong her wrists looked. Before watching the movie, I had the notion that as a play, Doubt begs for restraint, for cool. So that briefly, in the theater, i wondered what Streep was thinking? Shanley as director wouldn't know any better, but Streep could have grabbed Hoffman by the nape and ordered him to throttle it back and then done the same herself, but no, this Sister A onscreen - who is supposed to be a woman who has spent her life devoted to denial, denial of love, denial of pleasure, denial of coughdrops - show me steel, show me ice, show me the cold vacuum of deep space, not Miss Muffet chewing the carpet. Shanley also takes the tether off Hoffman and we wind up with two overheated actors who know they're delivering Pulitzer lines that, with enough heat, perhaps can be transmuted into Oscar gold (didn't happen). You want certainty? Picture John Wayne as Sister A. Montgomery Clift as Father F - sure he's crazy, tortured, sweating, bug-eyed, but innocent. Or Bing Crosby as Father F. Innocent. Audrey Hepburn or Katherine Hepburn as Sister A, vs der Bingle? How do you pick a winner in an argument between two screen gods?

    But this movie wasn't about that. This movie was about Shanley's youth, the Bronx, the Sisters and Mothers and Fathers. This was about winter color, grays but somehow still warm with memory, warm wtih nostalgia and love and, by God, entertainment.

    I also wondered whether opening out the play on the big screen would help it, harm it, or have no effect. Neighborhood, kids, weather, church and school. The play consists of four individuals talking to each other for an hour and a half. In the original production, the sets are small and close. No children are seen, so that there is a certain problem-play, abstract quality to the proceedings. In the film, the protagonists are dropped into a bustling Bronx school full of children. The abuse issue is no longer academic. A specific child's welfare is at issue. The child does some mooning (not that kind) around the priest. This coming-to-life of the situation affects the artificial parableness of the play; without the movie's constant reminder of children qua children, the proceedings onstage were better able to remain an exercise in thought.

    Anyway, do we the audience know for sure, or think that we know for sure, after watching this film incarnation of Doubt, that Father F is or is not guilty? If so, the dynamics of the play are altered, displaced from the consequences of ambiguity in the face of certainty to questions of moral justice and the consequences of the priest's behavior. The whistle-blower in the case, Sister A, is dismissed from consideration, regardless of the original baselessness of her accusations. When the script presents the wine and locker accusations and the priest's verbal reactions, does Hoffman clothe those reactions in ambiguous anger or innocent surprise or one of a hundred other takes that swing the balance back from guilt? Yes, he does indeed. Clever writing by Shanley. Does the kid have to show gay for his mom's stance to be effective? Well, he doesn't and didn't have to. Was there too much focus on suspect Father F traits like, for example, his thoughts and feelings re long fingernails? So that Doubt morphs into a movie in the genre that includes films like Shadow of a Doubt and The Interview - man seems innocent, isn't? No. Someone complained to me that Father F was made to seem more guilty because when Sister A tells him that she saw him grab William London’s arm, he doesn't defend himself. In the play he explains his action, because the action is never shown, but in the film we see him do it, to check the boy's fingernails, and his silence on the matter later with Sister A seems to me to strengthen him, not weaken him. Shanley knew that the final confrontation between Sister A and Father F was his last chance (almost) to make things come out even. He used 31 camera setups. In the scene, we know that Mrs. Miller has told Sister A that her son is gay, but Father F does not know this. We also know that the boy probably confessed to Father F this fact, but Father F is constrained to keep the fact to himself. Forces swirling. Father F no longer able to step into Sister A's office and sit casually in her chair as if he belonged there, as her natural superior.

    I heard more than once from others that the movie ended with the issue of guilt/innocence resolved for them. Not for me. For me, Shanley and his cast did not fall off the tightrope. There was smoke, perhaps there was fire, perhaps not. My bet: Father F had misbehaved in the past but not in the current situation.

    Last word re Sister A's last words: "I have doubts! I have such doubts!" (1) I take this to be Shanley's last-minute buckling to the pressures of public taste in drama in the modern sensibility - that is, the mandatory inclusion of irony as a base element in any concoction, which is what this play is. Or, (2)these last words are an author's last-minute bright idea, a cry to the prize board, pleading for forgiveness for the thinness of the material but asking for the prize anyway. Or, (3) Shanley is telling us here that Sister A has been on a journey throughout this movie, a journey that has taken her from a desert of self-indulgent, selfish abnegation and selflessness of certainty to an uncomfortable paradise of doubt in the closer presence of God. A final message of hope. Shanley's gift to the Sisters of his youth. Or, (4) Sister A has lied, blackmailed, and bullied, and this final wracking doubt is her punishment for her actions. Or, (5) perhaps this is the last bit of weight Shanley drops into the balance on the innocence side, in case you're leaning toward Father F.'s guilt. In any case, Streep has caught some critical flak for not adumbrating this outburst, even in the smallest way. But I think that in fact she did, especially when she agreed with Father F. that she had sinned mightily in the past. That confession entered into the guilt/innocence calculus going forward. For these last words, did Shanley just refuse to put down the pen in time? Did Hannibal Lector apologize for his diet at the fadeout?

    Am I crazy or is Doubt an old-fashioned feelgood movie?


  • Üç maymun (Three Monkeys): a review

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    Yol  (1982)

    My postman stuck the Turkish movie Three Monkeys into my mailbox just as I was leaving for the unemployment office. While down there looking for work, I asked some of the others in my line why a country on the other side of the world would be named after a big ugly edible bird like that? Most of them told me that the bird was in fact named after the country, not the other way around, because Turkey is where the bird came from. Benjamin Franklin wanted to designate the turkey as our national bird, imagining, I suppose, the turkey to be an indigenous fowl. The first edition of his Poor Richard's Almanac featured an eight-page spread on meleagris gallopavo and its habits, habits which he took to be worthy of emulation by an entire nation and which he strove to imitate, in certain particulars, with several of his more intimate associations while abroad in Paris acting as a representative of our fledgling government, to the vast amusement of the French. Please don't write me about this, not if you already lit me up for my review of "Prodromos Oikonomopoulos," which dealt with the question of Greece vs Grease.

    Three Monkeys arrives as a Cannes prize-winner for its director and an Oscar candidate for best foreign film, and tells a story with the message, Don't accept a jolt in prison as a stand-in for your boss just to make a buck, not if you're leaving behind a "restless" wife and a son who needs your strong hand in order to keep him from getting drunk and beaten to within an inch of his life out on the streets of Istanbul. This tale is burdened in Three Monkeys with no more plot than that which you might find powering a Superbowl commercial; no more plot, that is, than that in a music video. At first, there appears to be a plot - as when it appears that you've happened upon an archaeopteryx in your backyard when you find a couple of its bones and get all excited, but then realize that the whole lizard-bird isn't there, just two drumsticks and a wishbone, which probably came from KFC - so that your dreams of opening a museum in your garage dissipate in the same way as the plot of this movie, the director having a couple of ideas and his male lead in the movie, Yavuz Bingöl, lauding him later in interviews for his fantastic editing job, whereas in truth a story of some sort is there but the plot has gone missing, or never was. Turkish prison? there is more prison in one episode of Arrested Development than in all of Three Monkeys; in other words, for example, the wife does not come to prison and press her bared self against the glass of the interview room for the benefit of her husband (although later, be warned Christian viewers, she does something similar). If you want plot, go hence. Contrariwise, do you meditate? Do you sit staring at the bubbles rising through the lighted but fish-empty water of the 3x3x1 aquarium in your rumpus room? Are you depressed, finding it difficult to move, so that you sit immobile for long periods of time on your divan? If so, you will find the pace of Three Monkeys in accord with your life vibe. How long can one hundred minutes seem? That depends upon whether you are holding your breath or sinking into an REM sleep state. You can walk out of a museum after you've seen enough, and go back later for more: with that in mind, I watched Three Monkeys in ten ten-minute sittings, as episodes. Ten minutes of carefully made cinematic art onscreen seemed just about right for me, the audience in my viewing area. At the end of each episode I wanted more; I never felt restless; I appreciated the photography without getting tired of it, although every once in a while I found myself wanting a voiceover, such as "These walls were built in 1581 by Suleyman Egrip" or "The Argo sailed on the historic water that you see before you 3,000 years ago, bearing Jason on his quest to find the Golden Fleece." Years ago, when I went exploring local urbanscapes with my daughter, helping her break in her new used cameras, back in the day of film and the home darkroom, we always ended up in weedy backlots, on streets lined with ramshackle rundown buildings, industrial landscapes, the interesting rather than the beautiful. Nuri Ceylan, the director of Three Monkeys, is a photographer first, with an interest in the interesting. Istanbul has been accumulating interesting for two thousand years. Ceylan is also an auteur, which means that you'll sit through his long takes and like it. In Three Monkeys, the family's livingroom window looks down upon the Bosphorous, where ply myriad tankers and freighters. You know you're experiencing a long take when you find yourself looking away from the immobile faces of the actors to check on the progress of the boats in the water, which are not, to put it mildly, in any hurry. Please don't write me about long takes, not after my piece on Antonioni and how he was only kidding.

    A reminder of the difference between plot and story, courtesy of E.M. Forester: The king died and then the queen died: story. The king died and then the queen died of grief: plot. That is, a story is a series of events; a plot is a series of events presented so as to provide you with theme, emotion, and drama. Three Monkeys presents a series of events; theme, emotion, and drama are left in the hands of the actors' facial muscles (mixed metaphor or just weird?). According to Bingöl, Ceylan chose the final story from among various possibilities via his edits; one presumes that actions and motivations are somehow connected, so that changing actions will change motivations, but that isn't a problem if mum's the word dialogwise.

    Homework: watch any random movie of the 30s or 40s and notice how there is a lot of plot.

    Screenwriting 101: Foreshadowing. "You've got to pass those university exams this time." "OK." Two pages later in the script: "So, you failed the exams." One page after that: boy arrives home beaten bloody. It's what happens when you don't pass the university exams.

    At the end of '08, the top ten grossing films in Turkey, to the amazement of many, were all Turkish. This has not happened in some time. Meanwhile, American films in Turkey took it on the chin. As a result, new production money has begun flowing back into the Turkish film industry. The top ten were all action and comedy movies. As in the U.S., the majority of Turkish moviegoers view moviegoing as a species of entertainment, as opposed to an artistic activity such as eyeballing the Mona Lisa. The entertainment factor in Three Monkies requires that you be entertained by the oblique, the elliptical, the tickling of your arty bone not your funny bone. What does it mean to watch a movie that is a real downer anyway? Why do we do it? Is it entertainment or an artistic enterprise or both? Ceylan's films are "low-grossing" because of the bone that they tickle and the bone that they don't. His "Distant," also a competitor at Cannes, was seen by less than 00.3% of the Turkish population. He couldn't sell Three Monkeys to Turkish TV - too slow. Turkey has a young, go-go consumer economy, coupled with a crippled intelligentsia. After a 1980 military coup, tens of thousands of leftists were imprisoned, tortured, sometimes murdered. Intellectuals were forced underground and the country hasn't fully recovered yet. But humanistic-moviely speaking, Turkey's serious films are beginning to share some of the weight we've seen in Iranian cinema lately. So Three Monkeys isn't going to show up in your corner metroplex anytime soon - we'll discuss movies vis a vis the U.S. intelligentsia in a later review. Presumably, Ceylan's successes on the festival circuit and with critics worldwide will translate into future production money for himself, and with Three Monkeys he does take a step in the direction of the commercial with the movie's plot, such as it is, and with his decision to use professional actors.

    By the way, expect no humor in this review! I won't chortle over the pain and suffering and misbehaving and just plain general agonization of the characters in this movie. The anger. The death. The brow-knitting. Played out on a foundation of diegetic sound - birdsong, thunder, passing trains, clocks ticking, snoring - and gorgeous, fastidious and photographically photographical photography, so that squalid life will be experienced as an ironic* expression of the ineffable beauty of the universe, objectified in and around Istanbul and instantiated in the mom, dad, and son as portrayed by the three (professional) lead actors. No, no smilin. And what happened to Ceylan's vaunted humor? "I do see humor in even the most tragic situations. I think humor is always the brother of tragedy or sad things; and I think that with humor, tragedy becomes more convincing." So why the Droopy Dan in Three Monkeys? Mr. Gloomy Gus. My theory: Ceylan is 49, at the bottom of the U-shaped curve of happiness. You won't find a director over 60 making a movie like this. Gloom, not unwonted for Ceylan, but sans smiles, unwontedly hangs on his idea of a plot here. Could there be a little Orhan Pamuk-envy involved in this, Ceylan's fifth movie?

    *Turks/Irony: How does Turkish culture deal with/relate to irony? Unfortunately, googling "turks irony" gets you numberless hits re turks/kurds, turks/armenians, turks/iranians, turks in germany, theyoungturks (U.S. anti-Bushites). Lots to be ironic about if you're a Turk, in the context of Asia Minor, but we learn nothing about the irony of being a Turk at home in the Turk's own living room, with garbage barges passing out beyond the window. (Did I mention the fabulous weirdness of that apartmenthouse, by the tracks, by the shore?)

    Anyway, what I'm getting at is, are you familiar with the U curve of happiness? You start out happy in life and, statistically speaking, become increasingly unhappy until you reach your late forties. Thereafter, you begin to grow happy again over the years, assuming that you don't die in the meantime. Applying this phenomenom of human development to filmmakers, we might expect to see them produce their least-happy films at the bottom of their individual U's. Ceylan was 47-48 when he turned off lugubrious with Three Monkeys. Coincidence? I don't think so. "You put all the dark, bad sides of yourself into the films, and so you get rid of them – or at least control them in a better way." Hope it worked!

    Following up on this thought with a couple of our greatest directors:

    Kurosawa at 46 makes "Donzoko" - "His picture of several dreary people thrown together in what appears to be an urban slum or flophouse... Without moving out of the one room for the first hour and a half of the film and then going no further from it than the shabby courtyard outside, he puts his actors through a series of snarling and whining colloquies that express their despair, humiliation, anger, frustration, and grief." (Bosley Crowther, NYT)

    Stanley Kubrick at 47 makes "Strangelove." Humans as fools, plus the end of the world.

    Howard Hawks in his mid-forties - WWII. The Big One. I guess that whatever movies Hawks made or didn't make during this period just didn't amount to a hill of beans compared with the world's death-struggle at the time.

    Ingmar Bergman at 47 makes "The Silence" - "After a prolonged, convulsive attack, Esther implores God to allow her to die in her own homeland. In the end, she is left to die, alone and suffering, in a strange land: unanswered prayers by an absent God." (Acquarello)

    Please don't write to me about the U curve of happiness, not after my last Sidney Lumet prediction.

    Perhaps because Ceylan features the downbeat here, coupled with a dark and distinctive cinematography, the "noir" and "neo-noir" words have been bandied about. We've got to put a stop to this before "noir" becomes a word as useless as "awesome." Noir films are typically crime dramas or psychological thrillers. The plot of a noir movie is complicated, ambiguous, with twists and turns. Noir characters are conflicted antiheros, trapped in situations that force them to make desperate or nihilistic choices. Noir characters can't resist temptation. Three Monkeys isn't a crime drama, although crimes are committed. It isn't a thriller; making us wait for angry, gloomy, cogitating family members to snap and run amok, or not, doesn't qualify the movie as a thriller, more as a nervouser. Three Monkeys has a plot easily fit into a TV Guide capsule description - not so twisty. An envelope stuffed with money shows up, a noir totem, but goes nowhere. Family members in Three Monkeys may be conflicted, but they aren't antiheroes, they're common folk, and they aren't forced to make many choices, they're free to drift into the bad decisions that Ceylan has ready for them, dramaturgulated to keep the ball rolling. There are character flaws in each family member that might lead to ruin, but in Three Monkeys there seem to be psychological counterweights in operation as well. Noir characters find themselves in hopeless situations; the mom, dad, and son here aren't happy, but their situation is by no means hopeless. I myself happened to perceive a little hope at the end of the movie. Call me crazy, but show me a final shot in which a man is one inch high, silhouetted black against a stormy sky, before a distant sea, surrounded by, enveloped by windy gray nature, and for me there is something of hope strong in the image. Ceylan grew up in a tough, fightful multifamily setting and he emerged in one piece, as may these characters, who draw on his past. Note that Eugene O'Neill and Arthur Miller were not noir playwrights. Note that noir visuals include in-you-face light and shadow; Ceylan uses light, shadow, and every other tool in the photographer's toolbox, in all sorts of digital HD ways. The femme fatales in noir would never contemplate suicide, like mom does here. Femme fatales play the hero for a sucker. You'll never see them crazed, agonized, and making a complete fool of themselves in the particular way that mom does here, mom who isn't cruel, just dishonest and dissatisfied. And no magical realism in noir. No Garcia Marquez moments. No imagined scenes followed by, oops, real ones. Ok, enough about that.

    My general theory has been that gloom increases the amount of dialog in a film, but Three Monkeys is a study to the contrary. Ceylan is known not only for slow, but also for taciturn. I've written before about directors who avoid dialog, so I won't go there again. And I won't go there to "go there" again. Ceylan makes a veritable tone poem of a movie here, cinematographically and diegetically speaking, immaculate, but he turns his back on dialog, especially after the 80th minute. He can write questions but he doesn't write answers. Is this because he trusts himself and the D.P. behind the lens, but does not trust himself as a writer (he writes the dialog with other family members). Is there something ironic about a moviemaker who specializes in closeups focusing on the expressiveness of the human face and then leaves us to interpret the results as we choose, while the characters go wordless? Films that rely on sight more than sound are often ambiguous, but here we go beyond ambiguity. How would I know what these characters are thinking? They're Turks. I don't even know what my spouse is thinking and she's 100% USA American. I mean, I know what she's thinking when steam comes out of her ears, but I'm talking about when she's staring-off-into-space here. I'm talking about when she calls me a moron. Well, maybe then I know. But in Three Monkeys, we've got a family of inhabitants of a country with, as I've said, the name of a bird. This isn't my brother Frank. At least let Ceylan write dialog like "I look angry because, being Turkish, I am operating under a rather different social imperative than the one with which you Americans are familiar." Even I could do that. Sure, I can guess what any character is thinking, even Natetodamax, but in fact, any action that an actor takes will perforce be consistent with the fact that, having kept his or her mouth shut, any action is now possible. “Turks are generally practical people, but they have difficulty in putting this into action. We combine German business discipline with the practical Turkish mind.” Oh, well, that's OK then. Example: at the 8 minute mark, the boss asks his driver to take a fall for him. The driver behind his mustache stares off this way and then that way, no expression, and finally, when prompted by his boss or by Ceylan offcamera, I forget which, says, "OK. No problem." So is there Turkish stuff I need to know here? Is there machismo at work? Management/worker labor issues? Genetic fallout from the conquering Turks of yore? Translation tweaks from a non-Indoeuropean language? The Koran?

    Ceylan's excuse, at least a couple of years ago: "I don't believe in words. In general, people lie, they don't tell the truth. The truth lies in what's hidden, in what's not told. Reality lies in the unspoken part of our lives. If you try to talk about your problems, it's not that convincing. People try to protect themselves; everybody has something they want to hide. They try to hide their weak side. When they tell you a story, they make themselves the hero of that story. So without words is better, and it allows the spectator to be more active; he should use his own experience." Uh huh. My boss asked me to confess to making a pot of African CongoBlaze Superforce Coffee in the No-Caff pot. At first I said No! but then, so that the boss could solve the case and look good, I said yes in exchange for her commemoration mug from the '03 Sales event in La Brea. A critic's take: "This film paints a haunting portrait of existential solitude, one in which the images speak louder and often more forcefully than do any of the words. Mr. Ceylan doesn’t write speeches or flatter the audience by offering us more information than he gives his character. His scenes play out to the natural rhythms of life." Uh huh. Even silent movies had the title cards with info on them like "I'm thinking that I should smack her." Chaplin was silent but he wasn't slow. He did not spend a lot of time staring off into space so that we could appreciate the composition of his shots in the meantime. Oh, hell, maybe I'll just write this review without any further dialog. If Ceylan can do it, so can I.

    "Never happen."

    "No, I can do it."

    "You dope."

    "Aw, nuts."

    Alright, alright. I've hired my friend Maurice, who does a great Shakespeare imitation, to go visit Ceylan and sit him down in front of King Lear. Ceylan, you use sound, you use pictures, now write the damn dialog or hire somebody who can.
     
    Can you imagine Bergman saying, "I've decided to stop writing dialog because nobody ever tells the truth?" The fact is, writer-directors write the scripts that they are capable of writing, neither more nor less.

    Don't write me about this, not after the feedback I got when they published that dialog of mine about Life, Death, and the Human Condition between a box of Cheerios and a box of Kix.

    And actually, Ceylan isn't really so bad. His characters do talk to each other. They do ask questions, raise issues. They argue. They shout. They do tell us what's on their minds. At least, for the first 80 minutes, and after that there is enough emotion floating around to keep us informed by osmosis. Ceylan is never as wordless as some of the 6th-generation Chinese directors, like Xiaoshuai Wang and Lou Ye.

    Ceylan dialog that would not be heard in a Hollywood movie: "You paid 5 billion lire for this car?! I was in jail for nine months and didn't spent 900 million the whole time!"

    Ironic moment in the movie with respect to this theme: a man seems to be talking but his lips don't move. Anti-antidialog.

    Having dealt with the slow, the silent, and the gloom - maybe to excess, when in fact a sentence on each would have sufficed, since the heart of the movie is somewhere else - let us now celebrate the principle reason that this movie won Ceylan the director's prize at Cannes - its cinematography by Gökhan Tiryaki. An extended shot of a car driving away through the woods at night, which opens the film, by itself might be worth the price of admission. Ditto some of the best, if not the best, skyscapes I've seen in a movie. I live where there isn't much sky and where there isn't much going on in what sky there is. For me, there can't be too much sky in a film. Ditto too much Bosphorus. Ships riding on the same water as the Greeks on their way to Troy (more or less) and the Persians on their way to Greece (more or less). Ditto trains and their tracks, decrepit apartment buildings, rotting concrete in Istanbul. Ditto uncomfortable attempts at sex in a small room, a heckava mosque, and father-and-son mustaches. The digital world of color, light, and shadow impossible to obtain with traditional film. Differential focusing. Surprising camera angles. Plus, I used to collect coke bottles; now I collect foreign movies that have coke bottles in them, like this one; and speaking of bottles, what better sign that the world is going completely to hell than that plastic water bottles, the ultimate in pollution, are to be seen everywhere, from the Turkish countryside to the magical island of Lost, which can move but can't shake off its plastic bottles. Regarding cinematography, sound, and plot, Ceylan has been accused of overdetermining. Overdetermining is when the dad's words are followed by a thunderclap or when we see a montage that includes a train entering a tunnel, a rocket lifting off, and a sprinkler suddenly spurting (a montage from Naked Gun, but you get the idea). A couple of times I did wonder if and when the temptation to employ more and more digital editing to achieve photographic effects might overwhelm this director. Some of his shots are such that, if you don't happen to be in a charitable mood, they might strike you as goofy. I'm thinking of that argument scene from fifty yards away, for example; made me imagine that the two actors were tying up the 7th green with me looking on and waiting impatiently to play through.

    Ceylan said that he would use professional actors for this movie. The mom, Hatice Aslan, has done a lot of work in TV; the male leads were both born in Istanbul, but Aslan is from Sivas, high on the Anatolian plateau, a town/city that has been around since before the Hittites and is the primary source of Kangal dogs. "Beyond Kayadibi the country dogs were the largest and most savage of any I had met. In theory you are entitled to defend yourself against them, even to the point of killing; but in practice may not do so, except at great subsequent personal risk." (1917) The dogs defend their flocks against wolves and jackals, but I digress. The dad in the movie, Yavuz Bingöl, is better known as a musician: "Acting and music, these are not fields which necessarily nourish one another. I am more at ease when making music and am not that comfortable as an actor, although I guess I could say I picked up acting pretty quickly. I never felt like I had to get special lessons on acting or go to any acting school; I just act while trying to feel the actual characters I‘m playing... Actually we had worked with a few alternatives in Three Monkeys, so I really had no idea what sort of film would emerge in the end... It is a film full of surprises. It can make viewers perceive all sorts of different things " Translation: "Hey! Ceylan managed to cut together a story that made sense of all that."

    Actor's note: a thick black mustache can be a big help, especially when you're grabbing your wife by the hair in bed. Homework: compare Sam Elliot's movies, made with and without the stache.

    Acting Excercize 101: You're sitting in a chair with your purse on your lap. Your cellphone rings in your purse. The phone is playing a love song with ironic lyrics. You must fumble for the phone, trying to extract it from your purse, for the length of time required for the first verse of the song to complete, but not the chorus. During this time, you must register embarrassment, confusion, resignation, suprise, etc., because the phone is interrupting your important conversation with someone. Mercifully, the camera turns away from you for the last half of this exercise, so that only the frantic sounds of your rummaging will be heard. Note: the purse will not be large. Later in the movie it will take your hubby about 10 seconds to do the same thing.

    Acting Exercise 102: You're sitting on a bench in a train station, dressed up. You're staring off into space. You look concerned. The audience tries to figure out what you're thinking. Look more concerned. Now look more concerned. When you're absolutely sure that you've got the audience's attention, vomit.

    Acting Exercise 103: Stare off into space without smoking. Hey, where's the cigarettes? This is Turkey. Turkish tobacco? Camels? Hello? No cigarettes, as mom, dad, and son hang out down by the water. No smokes at the Turkish wedding. We get a glimpse of the son with a butt in his fingers at minute 49, two brief moments of puffing by the dad, and then the dad, finally, smokes a fag at the very end of the movie. Turkey passed a no-smoking-in-bars-and-restaurants law at the start of '08; did that have something to do with this, or is Ceylan just a health nut? A valuable prop tool has been ripped from the fingers of his actors.

    Critics who were watching a different movie: "The script is right up Will Shakespeare's alley." "Astute psychological insights." "A subtly-twisty yarn."

    Finally, the monkeys.

    There are no monkies in this movie.

    The three monkeys? Hear No, See No, Speak No? What happened to Act No and Think No? What do the three monkies mean, anyway? There are folks who collect these monkeys. Do they know what the monkies are supposed to signify, or do they just have a monkey jones? There is a market for these monkeys. Is there a three-monkies carving in your crazy uncle's footlocker down there in the basement? Got a three-monkeys statue, cup, or commode up in your attic? There is no scene in the movie in which the three protagonists sit side-by-side in the three-monkey pose, so don't wait for that. ("monkies" = 32 million hits; "monkeys" = 38 million hits.)

    Three-monkey explanations:

    1. The monkeys remind us not to be snoopy, nosy, or gossipy.

    2. The monkies are associated with Vadjra, who commands us to stay away from places where immoral acts are taking place. If we do not hear, see, or speak evil, we will be spared evil. If we aren't exposed to evil, we will not reflect that evil in our own speech and actions.

    3. The phrase describes someone who doesn’t want to get involved, turning a blind eye to the immorality of an act in which they are involved.
     
    In an interview, Yavuz Bingöl goes for #3: "This three-monkeys rule is at play around the world in human relations. It seems to have taken root in people in the sense that there is a What's-it-to-me? mentality ruling over people. In fact, I believe this mentality is one which is reflected in human relations or imposed on people as a result of capitalism. Faced with wars, natural disasters, and various crises, people continue to play the role of the three monkies. But actually, we are all passengers on the same ship, and this ship is sinking." Strange words coming from the guy who, as the dad in the movie, lays on the "What's-it-to-me? What's-it-to-me! I'll-show-you-what's-it-to-mother-freaking-me!" throughout the film.

    Those flm critics who have addressed the monkey question seem in general to interpret the title in a similar sense: "A film that's driven less by action and active decisions than by the hope that consequences will somehow just fade away." Where did this notion come from? The fact is, Ceylan advances the story by having mom, dad, and son ask, answer, confess, react from start to finish. A Turkish speaker once told me that Turkish word order is opposite to that of English. Does that inversion extend to the meaning of movie titles? Some evil is spoke; some is not spoke. Some evil is heard; some is not heard. Some evil is seen; some is not seen. There is a keyhole scene. The See No chimp glues his eye to it? (Regarding inversion: the principal protagonist in this film is named Eyüp. The co-writer of the film is Ebru. Three Monkeys spelled backwards is Eerht Syeknom. Just sayin.)

    Mom, dad, and son don't want to get involved? I'm guessing that the actors were left to devise their own motivations. There isn't much motivational narrative on offer in the dialog. Ceylan's material tends to be autobiographical; perhaps he wasn't sure of the motivations of his own family members either. But I see no turning of the blind eye here.  Since this is a dialog-lite movie, it's the No Thinkin monkey that you'd expect to get the biggest workout, but no, mom, dad, and son never seem to stop thinkin, from start to finish. You know how when somebody drinks throughout a movie, you want to go have a drink afterwards? Or when somebody eats noodles throughout a movie, you want to go eat noodles afterwards? When this movie concluded, I wanted to go somewhere dark and think till I sweat.

    The point being, the mom, dad, and son at times do not speak evil, but at other times do speak evil. At times, they look away from evil but at other times they look at it. They seek it out. They hear it and sometimes react and sometimes refuse to react. So which type of monkies are they supposed to be? The moment the dad gets out of prison, he's asking about the money, he's visiting the grave of his dead son with his living son and policing the area, he's asking pointed questions about his wife and her behavior. Dad imagines mom about to jump, doesn't stop her. Sees her about to jump, stops her. This does not fit the ignore-it monkey template. The son goes out and gets beat up. He embezzles his dad's money. He does worse. He does not ignore his mom's behavior. Hears the bedsprings of evil. Here comes the smell of evil: cigarette smoke in the bedroom of a woman who doesn't smoke.

    Or are mom, dad, and son each one particular monkey? The son would be, let's see, he sees and speaks evil; doesn't hear evil? The mom speaks and hears evil and doesn't speak it? The dad hears and speaks evil, never sees it? Seems like a stretch.

    Another possibility: the three monkeys are represented by the three men in the mom's life. If that's the case, we're going with monkeys qua monkies.

    Or is Ceylan's point that the three should behave like the monkies but don't? No, because they do monkey-act in crucial ways. The movie is referred to as a "family secrets" drama, but neither dad nor mom nor the son seem to have any secrets from each other, not with a house full of those keyholes and bedroom and bathroom doors with frosted windows in them, something I haven't seen before. Plus all that thinkin the three of them do. Or is it that they keep secrets from everybody else but not from each other - do these three monkeys actually get together when we're not looking and let it all hang out?. Mom, dad, and son do take action; all three attempt to change their circumstances. For father and son, family, above all, comes first. For the mom, not so clear. But they all take action.
     
    Spare me the mumbo jumbo about this family's lack of moral grounding and how it's a comment on the greater society.

    The mom's clinging to her affair? This comes right out of the blue. Foreshadowing exercise: have a character look intense and troubled and then have him or her go ahead and do anything that your plot requires. "Troubled" can translate to any action, so that's OK.

    Suppose that you title a movie "The Golden Rule."  What does that suggest? That everybody breaks the Rule and suffers? Or breaks it and ironically prospers? Or follows it? Or that it's about Krugerrands or suchlike?

    Instead of "Three Monkeys," how about "A Ruminant, a Stoat, and a Young Hyena"?

    I don't mind trying to figure out what it all means if I believe that it all means something in the first place. There is forgiveness here, that I know. It's obscured but in the end, for me at least, the film opens onto the future.

    Don't write to me about this, not after my exegesis on The Three Stooges vs The Holy Trinity.

    In the end, let's give Ceylan the last word: "I think we do it in life, also, many times — every one of us. We play three monkeys."

    In this movie, Ceylan does not go full monkey.

    If you liked Three Monkeys, you might also like "Yol" (1982), a Turkish film about rural Kurdish life.


  • Larry the Cable Guy

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    When I wrote a review of Game Over the other day, I paid special attention to the movie's opening minutes. Watching Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector tonight, I noticed that it featured a similar opening, and I thought that it would be interesting to compare the work of  Larry Carrell and Josh Drapehs, Game Over's filmmaking novices, with that of professional director Trent Cooper and star Larry the Cable Guy (Dan Whitney). It's actually Trent's first and only feature so far, but he has done a couple of prize-winning shorts and his budget was considerably larger than Larry and Josh's $2500, even if most of it went for Whitney's salary.

    We're talking here about the opening scene in which the hero wakes up in his bachelor digs and gets his day started. It's been done a thousand times.

    Game Over (GO):

    1:05 f-bomb #1
    1:15 modest home, outdoor view
    1:20 the word "fart"
    1:45 cereal and beer, mixed
    2:10 actual fart
    2:30 socks with holes, underpants, butt crack
    3:35 stream of urine, poorly aimed
    4:20 pop tart and sour milk
    4:21 sour milk back into fridge
    4:50 cat
    5:45 hearse
    6:15 bird (finger, not feathered)
    6:18 overweight transvestite prostitute at the corner of McFarland and Navigation in Houston
    8:11 f-bomb #2, bird #2
    8:39 poop
    9:47 roaches 

    Health Inspector (HI):

    0:20 grappling with and dropping alarm clock
    1:01 butt crack
    1:15 stepping in pizza
    1:35 reusing Q-tip for ear wax
    1:50 stream of urine in shower. more yellow, probably due to larger budget for effects.
    2:08 using shirt for towel, putting shirt on
    2:38 sour milk back into fridge
    2:53 modest home, outdoor view, with retarded neighbor
    4:12 fly in the cafe mayo
    4:37 nose-wiping chef
    5:10 roaches

    What do we learn?

    1. HI is paced twice as fast as GO. Seems like a pro thing. Cut out the cat and the hearse and the cereal and beer.
    2. HI went with the bankable special-needs mentally challenged character rather than the in-your-face fat transvestite nymphomaniac. I was ok with either. Might work to combine them?
    3. HI holds back on the farts till the second ten minutes. Make 'em wait for it.
    4. HI wants the PG-13, so no f-bombs. GO went R in the first ten minutes, so after that they could unlease a righeous torrent of choice dialog.
    5. More roaches in HI, but that was just the budget talkin.
    6. Cooper put up Iris Bahr (aka Iris Bar-Ziv) against the cable guy. Got the country boy vs urban Jewess mojo working there. GO casting included players of many races but steered clear of ethnic humor, mostly.
    7. GO showed its ace in the hole, well out of the hole, which was the poop, right away. Should have held back, not showed it so soon, just have folks reel back in horror at the sight and smell, build the suspense? HI rolled with simple earwax and mucus.

    With the seasoned professional, it's slick entertainment. With the beginner you get the joie de vivre.


  • The Curious Case of Brad Pitt

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    The name Benjamin Button is odd, but the name that always bothered me a little was Brad Pitt. I would ask myself, why choose a name like Pitt for your screen name? This was before I realized that these days, lots of actors keep their own names, regardless, and that Thomas Bradley Pitt was one of them.

    It never bothered me that the two Pitts were Prime Minister. Eartha Kitt was OK. Mitt was OK, though I didn't like his politics. I've got nothing against armpits, or fruit pits, or Pittsburgh.

    Just seemed like a strange name to choose. Now if he ever marries Angelina (whose real name is Angelina Jolie Voight), she can be Angelina Pitt.


  • Time Travel Plots - OK or not OK?

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    Primer  (2004)

    The grandfather paradox: you go back in time and kill your grandfather, which means you were never born and couldn't have gone back and committed the murder in the first place.

    This paradox is easily explained if you keep in mind that the universe comprises matter and energy, and that space and time are only ways to describe the current state of matter and energy, not corporeal entities in their own right. In that context, time is not a river flowing in only one direction. It, like space, is merely a way of specifying the arrangement of matter and energy in one of the universe's infinite states. (And btw, if you choose a system of units in which the speed of light = 1, then E = M, because matter and energy are actually the same thing.)

    So you and your grandfather are collections of matter and energy, little bits of the universe's total supply. In one state of the universe, he's alive and you haven't been born. In another state, he's dead and gone and you're alive. In a third state, the two of you are in the same place and you're murdering him.

    The seeming paradox arises when you think of time as that simple stream, moving only in one direction. The universe is in fact a limitless collection of individual moments in which every quanta existent occupies a particular spot defined by time, space, and physical state coordinates. It's as if the universe were a giant, static, space-time cube or matrix. If we had the perspective, we could see that every possible position of every quanta is present; this means, as far as we are concerned, that every possible thing that could happen has happened and hasn't happened, will happen and won't happen, going both forward and backward in time - that is, every state in some sense is there already.

    What this means is that pretty much any sci-fi timetravel plot ever contrived is OK - the plot for Primer, for example.

     


  • The Dark Knight

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    The Dark Knight  (2008)

    The Longshots  (2008)

    When The Dark Knight ended, I thought, well, there won't ever be another one quite like that. I felt sort of sad about it, but was also glad that the movie was so good and that I had seen it. Ledger put his mark on the movie and now he's gone. A sequel might be as good or better than The Dark Knight, but it won't be the same. Ledger's death instantly made The Dark Knight one-of-a-kind, frozen in time. The old saying ran through my head, "After they made this one, they broke the mold." Acting in this movie, Ledger made the mold that the industry was undoubtedly planning to use, and will probably still try to use, in the future, but it won't be the same. Ledger made the mold and when he died, he broke it.

    I happened to watch The Longshots next and I can report that the longshots mold is not broken. Lowly team of losers, its coach a struggling yet tough and tender man adrift, a woman who will stand by her man - in this case, two women, actually, the genre's duties split between a sister-in-law and a teacher of the coach's neice. Small town somewhere in the midwest. And some kind of first - first all-black team or first team of kids from reform school or first native-american girls hoop team or hockey team of kids who can barely skate or the last baseball team before the town's ballfield is plowed under and planted in corn, or... well, in this case, first Pop Warner team with a female quarterback. But this particular species of sports mold over the years has been reworked to this extent: the lowly underdogs make it to the championship game, yes, but in that last .01th of a second, they no longer always win. In, say, 70% of the movies they win, but otherwise, they do a little character-building losing. Adds a little suspense to the movies now. How will The Longshots come out? Will they win or lose? And then, in this genre, before the credits roll, those little postscript epilog messages pop up: "The next year, in 1955, the Wartberg Warthogs came back to Septic Field and this time won the championship, 99-0, led by Sissy Stirrups, even though she played with a broken breastbone, no two broken breastbones, the whole season."

    Molds were also in play in Last Man Standing. I was in the mood for Bruce Willis and a lot of two-fisted automatic handgun fire, which is why I snagged it at Blockbuster. Yojimbo created the mold, Fistful of Dollars came out of it, and so did Last Man Standing. The same movie, three cultures, and the mold is not broke.

    Three movies that didn't bother with a mold that could be broken later - no mold was ever made - these movies are unique: The Saddest Music in the World, The Fall, and Summer Love. Saddest Music and The Fall are relatively well known hereabouts. Piotr Uklanski's Summer Love is a Polish Spagetti Western in which Val Kilmer gets plugged at the beginning of the movie and lies dead throughout the rest of it. A film surpassingly strange and a lot of fun (U.S. title: Dead Man's Bounty).

    More movies that didn't break the mold: Breaking the Mold: The Kee Malesky Story (2003); Michael Caine: Breaking the Mold (1991); TV Land Landmarks: Breaking the Mold (2004).

    Just plain old mold: Black Mold Exposure (2009), Mold on a Peach (2002), Toxic Mold Solutions (2003).

    Uplifting: Molder of Dreams (1991), Moldovskaya skazka (1951), Love Molds Labor (1911).

    Downlifting: Down with America 3: Moldy Kitten (1999), Moldy's Madhouse (2001), Cet imbécile de Rimoldi (1961).

    Not so moldy: Smoldering Lust (1993).

    Dlom (mold spelled backwards): Discounts For Lack Of Marketability: The Movie (2007).


  • The Pixar Story: A Review

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    The Pixar Story  (2007)

    The Pixar Story is an inhouse documentary presenting, in 88 minutes, the Pixar story. It's slick, it's historical, and if you're interested, it's worth a watch. Not so easy to find, though, unless you're willing to download it from not-your-public-library, where it is available in abundance.

    I could see Pixar from my office window. A Sarah Palin thing. I don't mean that I could see it now if I wanted to but don't want to, I mean that I used to could see it, but that was a couple of offices ago, back in the 80s. Sitting at my desk I could make it out. At the time, my office window looked out over a parking lot where a hawk swooped down and grabbed a pigeon, and even if you think that pigeons are flying rats, I'm sorry, but I've had rats for pets. Except for that naked tail, they're pretty cool. This was back when I worked above the Sand Dabs Restaurant and the aroma of deep-fried dabs would rise up right around naptime - back when I could see Pixar, I mean, not back when I had the rats; in fact, back when I could see Pixar, I had a parakeet, and in addition to Pixar, I could see the office of the parakeet's doctor, off to the left. Pixar was across the street behind the multistoried, zigguratlike Ask building, next to the Target loading dock. I could have worked at Pixar; I mean, I could have walked in and applied for a job, instead of jogging past the building every day. I guess that I could say the same about Yahoo when it was still stuck in a little building on the Central Expressway, next to the Decathalon Club - where, having laid off 15,000 last week, it may end up again - or when I worked three buildings down from Google on Garcia, when Google was just being born and was peddling their search engine incestuously to Yahoo. That's why I think of Pixar as sort of related to Target, because they were side by side, and because of the Target-like product packed into Toy Story as a consequence of the animators going over to Target for their pre-Starbucks coffee during their early brainstorming. But the point is, Pixar from the start was connected in its spiritual innards to Hollywood, whereas my company abandoned Jesus in those tough times and signed a deal with the Defense Department, so that while Pixar was working on 3D-landscapes to entertain, and while the DOD was abandoning their attempts to teach homing pigeons in the warheads of Cruise missles to peck at touchscreen pictures of the terrain around Verbiblobstakaya and instead was rolling into Silicon Valley like a Stephen-King black fog to shop for databasemaker systems that could map a route from a silo north of Seattle to the center of Moscow, to be used by a missle travelling the whole shot at a height of 3 feet above the steppe, my company was vectoring down 101 past Moffett Field to the Blue Cube and Lazy L. Leaving me in the end with this question: if one guy wins an Oscar for animation and the other guy contributes to the destruction of the human race via massive nuclear strikes, which one wins? Mothers, don't raise your children to build bombs tra la. Pixar moved across the bay to Richmond Point, anyway; impossible commute. For another time: how game designers and animators fit in, the sales and use of whose work dwarfs the efforts of Pixar and its kin; but does not dwarf, in spite of all those dollars and all that game violence, the real bomb makers.

    Pixar started out as a group of bright young people in Lucasfilm, got bought by Steve Jobs from Lucas, made some hits, went public, made some more hits, sold out to Disney, made Ratatouille and Wall-E while managing, despite being acquired and despite the aging of its bright young people, to avoid absorption by Disney, and subsequent decline. So far. The Pixar Story - the movie - was completed in the Ratatouille timeframe. On a parallel timeline, Pacific Data Images started out with some bright young people, contributed to some movies, sold out to Dreamworks, made some hits, spun off as PDI/Dreamworks, made some more hits. Whereas I could see Pixar from my office window, I can see PDI from the roof of my house, down in a complex that does its little bit to wreck the baylands. A friend who works there tells me that the old timers - PDI was founded in 1979 - say that the atmosphere in the company hasn't changed so much over the years. Dreamworks, at the other end of the state, hasn't done to PDI yet what Disney will probably end up doing to Pixar.

    The Pixar Story comprises animated snippets alternating with talking heads. I've had it up to here with talking heads. Especially serious heads, telling me how hard they worked, lord how hard, and are all now without exception crudzillionaires. But wait a minute. I go out in my shorts every day and while jogging listen to the Washington Post political podcast, Slate, Washington Week, MacLaughlin, To the Point, Day By Day (RIP), News and Notes (RIP), Left Right and Center, The New Yorker Out Loud, Planet Money, so forth. Or did until I downloaded The Fountainhead the other day and got sidetracked by 30 hours of Ayn Rand. Is it that I need the talking heads? I talk back? Hold the IPOD like a phone to my ear and talk into it? One talking head in The Pixar Story that caught my attention was the former CEO of Robertson Stephens Investment Bank, which went down hard when the dot.com bubble burst. Watching him was like watching Hamlet talking to the skull in the graveyard. And George Lucas, get off the screen! You have lost your right to pontificate about anything ever again. Thank God your divorce and Howard the Duck made you dump Pixar before you started writing stories for it.

    Man, did Steve Jobs make a bundle off Pixar. The magic touch. Apple, NeXT, Pixar. My daughter-in-law's sister is his favorite serving person in Woodside. Another Palin thing. He's a good tipper, or maybe that's just money falling accidentally from his pocket when he pulls out his handkerchief. I also won a free lunch at a lunchwagon that parked outside NeXT every workday noon, two blocks dowon from the Glomar Explorer. I got pinworms along with the lunch, which only in recent years can you treat with an over-the-counter remedy; before that, you had to get a prescription and the only place you could get one, if you were the typical carrier of pinworms, was in the emergency room, so that when I fell off a ladder and separated both shoulders and was transported in exquisite pain to the hospital, transported, I had to wait to be seen in line behind three individuals with pinworms, such being the vagaries of triage. For this I do not blame Steve Jobs. In the movie, which took seven years to make, Jobs retains the fat of midlife and good living, which has since melted away with his cancer. :(

    What's the difference between "It's hard to remember" and "It's easy to forget"? Young kids just out of school, wearing those cotton pants that I always thought would be a reasonable alternative to jeans but could never find, and short-sleeved patterned shirts still favored by the Indian employees hereabouts. Animation scientists. Lasseter gets canned from Disney in the first 15 minutes of The Pixar Story. I googled "roy disney weird looking." 154 hits but not the kind that I was expecting.

    Sign of the times: notice how nobody asks for "a reasonable facsimile thereof" anymore? The copy now equals the original. Back in the day, you had to sit down and draw a bunch of boxtops that looked like the single one that you had, in order to buy the poster without having to ten boxes of Wheaties. How long before live actors will no longer be needed, or wanted, in films, squeezed out by their virtual brothers and sisters? How long before actors join gas-station attendants in their netherworld? Or will actors hang on like supermarket checkout clerks, battling automation? Note that PIXAR spelled backwards is RAXIP (Replace Actors with Xygotefree Illusionary Personas). Didn't Steve Jobs as a young man look like the devil? Now what? Live actors to take refuge in/on the internet? How will that work? Porn is practically there already, but I mean otherwise?

    When computer animation cranked up, old-fashioned pen-and-ink cartoonists were in fear for their jobs; The Pixar Story shows them still busy with those pencils, but my friend at PDI never sees anyone with pencil in hand, away from the keyboard. In the future, I'm sitting on my couch in front of my Sony holographic box and my neighbor, who already, here in the present, bemoans the paucity of gigs in the acting profession, says to me, "Hey, I could do that!" as we watch a movie in which Buzz Lightyear appears to actually be the authentic Clark Gable. No, my neighbor couldn't do that, because Gable pulls off his leg and beats a chicken with it. Pathetic.

    Sure, live actors will keep acting. I just wrote a review about two guys who spent 29K doing a 9-day shoot for their movie. But you know what? They spent another 500+ days at the computer using Adobe Creative Suite 3. But yes, live actors will persist. There are still clipper-ship captains, aren't there? About four of them, versus thousands in the 1800s. There are still muleskinners. Or are there? There aren't that many damn mules anymore. Mine is gone, laid low by loneliness. There isn't a single mule in the family anymore. You ever eat mule? There's good eatin on a mule. And you know how they say that if gays can marry, next thing some guy will marry his goat? What about cartoons? One fellow applied to marry Jessica Rabbit. He was turned down not because she was a cartoon, but because she was a rabbit. If I marry the cartoon Maggie Gyllenhaal, does that mean that nobody else can too? Does it mean that I can get that scene in Sherry, Baby removed so that nobody can watch it but me? From here on out, PDI is going strictly 3D-with-the-glasses for theatrical releases - the next step toward these unholy unions? And what about those scriptures that say the sheeps will be separated from the goats? Why the goat-hate?

    With regard to blockbusters: when an animated blockbuster becomes absolutely indistinguishable from a real one, will anyone ever hire 10,000 extras again, or travel to strange and photogenic sites, a la The Fall? Will DIY filmamakers at their computers bifurcate into the ones who make extravagant swashbucklers and the ones in the mumblecore community who mumble to themselves alone in the dark of night bathed in the glow of their flatpanels? There are a few folks out there who prefer vinyl records to digital CDs because the imperfections and underproduced music on the wax disks imbue the music, or so they say, with a richness missing in the sterile digital world. Will it be like that with the movies? Or will the enterprising animator let a boom mike hang down into the frame and add projector film scratches to create such effects for the old-fashioned movie afficinado?

    Tom Hanks and Tim Allen have a word to say in The Pixar Story. Is it weird that the actors' bodies go first, so that only their voices remain in the movie? "Oh, Tom Hanks is in Toy Story. Isn't that wonderful." When animation makes the computerized actor identical to the real one, but voice technology continues to lag behind the visual, Tom Hanks will be dubbing himself. He'll get paid for the use of his image, of course, but he won't be acting anymore. Or worse, he'll take the money for his image but refuse to do his voice, and then he'll find himself watching himself onscreen sounding like Michael Madsen, who will do literally anything for a buck. And then virtual actors onscreen who become favorites won't be copies of current living favorites anymore - well, they might be, replicas of John Wayne, Jean Harlow, favorites old and new - but more often they'll be new nonexistent actors. And then Tom Hanks' voice will be animated too and used for an imaginary character instead of himself, maybe another Woody (who actually looks and acts more like Dick Van Dyke), and Hanks will be paid for that too and can go spend his money at the Old Actors' Home. But I'm no Luddite. Who will now take the plunge and animate Hilary Swank? Meanwhile, the virtual stars will marry - strange ceremonies on tropical islands where only the animators are present. The virtual stars will have children, who will also become stars. Since they'll be rich, the virtual stars will adopt real babies from Africa. They'll cheat on each other. Thank God there will be virtual Jimmy Stewarts around to maintain some reasonable standards. But then, some sorehead will bring back Anita Bryant.

    In The Pixar Story, the heads talk and then we see the cartoons they created. Irony?


  • GAME OVER: THE SECRET LIFE OF GAME STORE CLERKS - A REVIEW

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    WARNING! I'm writing this on the toilet. Got a problem with that? Then stop reading now.

    ehhnnnunnngggggggg

    Game Over targets the 13-to 40-year-old male gamer demographic. This review is for them.

    eennn... eennn... nnnnggggggggg

    My God, what did I have for dinner? Too much corn!

    OK, I borrowed that corn part from the movie.

    Spoiler: There is pooping.

    OK, now that we've got rid of the fuddy duddies... What, you still here?

    gggggggnnnnnnn aaaaaaaaaaahh  it burnnnnns!!!

    Plop.

    Ok, that should do it.

    Courtesy flush.

    Look, you write a review or make a movie with lots of fart and poop jokes, you're taking a chance. The guys on FilmCouch #94 talk about this. Tell a plain old clean bad joke and everybody groans when they hear it and then move on. Tell a poop joke that flops and folks wonder where your head is at. The creators of Game Over, Larry Carrell and Josh Drapehs, made their coprophilistic choices with eyes wide open and nostrils clamped shut. It's the demographic, stupid. They've got a poop prop (I hope it's a prop) and they're not afraid to use it. This morning I unlocked my own fake-poops cabinet, trying to remember exactly what that expression was on my secretary's face the last time I used one on her.

    Hey, I'm walking an effing tightrope here. My mom could read this.

    ffflllaaaaaaaaappp

    I read somewhere that you lose your PG-13 rating when you put more than one F-bomb in a movie. I was wondering how long it would take Game Over to go from PG-13 to R. The first 10 minutes of the movie:

    1:01 first luchadore
    1:05 first F-bomb
    1:25 first look at Ungowa world headquarters (can also be viewed on Google Street View)
    1:20 first use of the word "fart" 
    1:45 first cereal and beer, mixed 
    2:10 first actual fart 
    2:30 first socks with holes, underpants, and butt crack 
    3:35 first stream of urine, poorly aimed 
    4:20 first pop tart and sour milk 
    4:50 first cat 
    5:45 first hearse 
    6:15 first bird flipped 
    6:18 first overweight transvestite prostitute at the corner of McFarland and Navigation 
    8:11 second F-bomb and bird (there goes the PG-13) 
    8:39 first poop 
    9:47 first politically incorrect use of roaches 

    Now that I've sold you on the movie, you're probably asking yourself where you can get Game Over. Not easy. A trailer, yes, that you can watch right now. There's one on YouTube with the cockroaches in it. The movie is listed in IMDB, but so are 28 other Game Overs, and at the moment it's categorized as "in production." A second, R-rated trailer - the F trailer - provides you with a look at the main prop with its corn, plus Willie Nelson, Hunter Thompson, the Phantom Shitter, carpet F-bombing, the movie's climatic fart, and much, much more. You can also visit the film's website, which greets you with a voice asking "What's that smell?" I mean, who do you have to poop on in Houston to get a copy of this DVD? Ungowa is working with Amazon and Without A Box, now owned by Amazon, to provide you with Game Over; the arrangements should be complete by January '09. Ungowa is also working on distribution, festivals, pay per view, and DVD, at a price you can afford, at least until the U.S. and the rest of the world finish going to financial hell. For now though, your best bet is to head down to Houston - road trip! - for ONI-CON, Dec. 19 - 21, for Game Over's world premiere, two showings, plus a Q&A with Larry and Josh, plus Josh in his El Farto costume, made by his mom, who is a professional costume maker, plus DVDs of the movie for sale.

    Those of you in the target demo, feel free to leave now, cause that's all the good parts. Bye.

    When Kevin Smith made Clerks, did he create a genre? Because if he did, Game Over is in it. The clerks are in the store. Carrell, who has been working in a game store himself, wrote a script about something he knows. He and Drapehs rented a vacant bakery which served as the set for three different game stores and a video store, dressed over two and a half days with discount items. The set looks good to me, as do the customers who come into it. Carrell located the action mostly in one place, in the same way that Invaders From Mars, for example, featured a sheriff's office, a courtroom, a living room, etc., all using the same set with different dressing.

    Carrell and Drapehs, best friends, movie lovers, both with a degenerate sense of humor, spent 20+ years working together in the haunted-house business, dealing with budgets in the $50K to 200K range, managing up to 40 actors. In Houston, they helped build the sets for Alice Cooper's Nightmare, an interactive horror movie.  a couple of years ago, they decided to quit, take day jobs to make a buck, and create this movie. Carrell tells me that it's the story that moves people, but in Game Over, it's the bowels that move. But never forget, bowels don't move people; people moving bowels move people.

    Karina Longworth moderated a panel at the Denver Film Festival called DIY Filmmaking in an Indie Apocalypse. She talks about the panel on a recent FilmCouch podcast - about the fact that the major studios are backing away from Indie filemaking - making the point, among others, that the Carrells and Drapehses of this world will keep making movies regardless of where the big money goes, and that the DIY movement is alive and well. Carrell and Drapehs did not go to film school. Everything they have learned, they have learned by reading, talking to others, trying things out, and, hey, making Game Over. They hustled and scraped to come up with some money. Drapehs and Carrell ran with the hounds and hunted with the foxes. That makes no sense but I wanted to get it in.

    I myself personally have not made a movie per se, but I did decide to paint my house a while back. If I had known in advance what I was getting myself into, I wouldn't have started. The magnitude of the task - the prep issues, the paint issues, rounding up the help, the weather, surviving on a ladder, the random interruptions of everyday life - blossomed, ballooned, what's a good paint metaphor? Spread like a kicked-over can of bright red paint on your new oak floor. It's like when you say hey let's have a baby! It'll be fun! Twenty-two years later they leave the nest and break your heart. And then move back in. And then go mumblecore on you. You work, you slave, they rip your heart out and... aw just go watch Lee J. Cobb at the end of Twelve Angry Men and take his rant as written. But anyway, interviewing the filmmakers, I got the idea that making a movie is like that. The actual shoot took only nine days - that's all the time off that Larry had from the game store - and they were constrained also by their budget of $2,500 - but from the runup to the shoot to the post-production work - well, that's still going on - the project has consumed 2 or 3 years - and that's the last of the dashes I'm going to use - haha. I described in an earlier review how Jason Kohn decided to make Manda Bala and ended up spending five years on it. So making a movie is a lot of work, even more work than painting a house. Or at least as much. And then some more work after that. So be prepared if you set out to make one. Shooting the thing is just one part of a much larger effort.

    Being realistic, Carrell wrote most of the roles in the movie for cast members who hadn't acted before, roles that allowed them to just be themselves. There are 77 names on the cast list. 77 is a lot of anything, including people. I couldn't find half that many for my firstborn's bris. Nobody got paid (but there were refreshments at the bris). Drapehs's mother, sister, and nephews are in the movie. Larry's brother Rex played Hunter Thompson in the movie. There are friends of many stripes in the movie. And several professionals. Larry and Josh used Craig's List to line up the rest. Everyone's lines are scripted and everyone learned their lines except for the writer/director/star, who was so busy with everything else that with the cameras rolling he kept finding himself winging it. It's fun to watch the non-professionals act naturally while the pros chew the scenery. I was wondering about the kids dropping F bombs. That is, about whether there are industry rules regarding language used by minors, or Houston child-labor laws, or an outraged Christian public, or whatever. The kids in Game Over all signed releases, and their parents were present for the shoot. One boy was a little unsure about letting the F word pass his lips but his parents told him it was ok. I'm trying to picture my mom dealing with this:

    "Hey, Ma, I'm in a movie! Is it ok if I say f**k?... Hey! Ouch! Lay off! Mother f**k! Ow!"

    Tip of the hat to the Blues Brothers and the nuns for that thought. There is nothing new.

    Anyway, the day comes and everybody shows up.  Nine days for the shoot. Turns out that Drapehs knows the owner of Smart Multimedia (industrial videos) and the owner came down, looked around, saw the Canon XL1 the crew was going to use, and went back and got a JVC Pro High Def to use instead. Then you shoot the film, 40 more hours of it than you need because you're just learning what you need to reshoot when you redo a scene, and then everybody goes home and you fire up Adobe Premier and get to work editing until Hurricane Ike rolls in and you lose power for two weeks, plus your computer is fried, but you've got everything backed up and you upgrade to Adobe Creative Suite 3 because it has high res and BlueRay support, but when you import your film files, CS3 sort of scrambles them and there are audio issues to figure out and Premier, Sound Booth, Photoshop, After Effects, Encore, and Bridge to learn and the experienced editor/filmmaker you lined up through Craig's List (the only one to answer the listing: Larry Czach, Jack Everyman, IMDB 7.9, Houston) has to drop out due to illness in the family, but at least you can call him with questions. And you discover that because you used two mikes and they're out of sync, you've got to take one track out by hand, and the next thing you know, it's a year and a half later and you still need to put in extras such as a blooper reel and a commentary track. But at some point in there you have enough to begin peddling the results. One question that came up during the Longworth panel that I mentioned above dealt with submitting films to festivals and how to handle rejection: acknowledge that anyone can be rejected; think of a new door opening after the old door is slammed in your face; cry; keep going; keep a cool head; find a hobby; leave a flaming basket of dogpoop on somebody's doorstep.

    Thought from the movie: "Just because he's new doesn't mean he doesn't have any common sense."

    In the end, as with the pain of childbirth, you forget the bad and remember the good. The years of effort (making a movie, not having a baby) get telescoped in your brain and in due course you're ready to do it again. Ungawa's next movie will deal with Chupacabra (or this one). Carrell has also written a script about two brothers. De astra, ad astra.

    The other day I dropped my sister off at the local Metroplex to see "The Duchess." We were running late and we knew that the movie would be half over by the time that she was in her seat, but my sister said that she didn't mind and that she'd catch what she missed by staying over for the next show. When I spoke to her later, she told me that in the case of The Duchess, it didn't seem to matter one way or the other which half she saw first, since for her it was all mostly about the costumes. She did mention that plot points in the first half that she might have missed if she had started at the beginning were perhaps a bit more striking because she knew what was coming. This reminded me that when I was in the second grade, I was allowed to walk downtown to the Saturday-morning movies with my sister (different sister), who was a year and a half older than me. Hard to believe it these days, but that was in a small Southern town a long time ago. For whatever reason, as I grew older I decided that I always wanted to sit in the last row and see the second half of the second movie first. This habit continued through grammar school, and then I lost it.

    But then I watched "The Forsythe Saga" that way, back in the 60s. This became my all-time second-favorite TV mini-series, after the BBC's "War and Peace," and one reason for that, I think, is because I saw the last half of the series first. A strong sense of loss, regret, and nostalgia hangs over the second half of the Saga and I think that that atmosphere was strengthened by the fact that I could only guess at the origins of the regret. Note to self: next time you write a review, start in the middle. Fiddlesticks! I should have started this review here, not back up there. Too late now!

    Can watching the second half first ruin a good movie? Make a bad movie better? Isn't the first half of a movie generally supposed to be better than the second half? The interesting premise, then the complications, the unfolding, but devolving in the second half into the chase, clever ideas petering out? Like life, see? You're young, starting out, anything could happen, it's all a big mystery, the future; then you're old, there's just the one story, in the past, no chase, few complications, and it turns out that not so much happened to you when you think about it. Jeez. No wonder movies can be depressing. But anyway, if you watch the lesser, second half first, does that allow you to end with the better first half, instead of wasting it up front in the first half its own self? Doesn't seem quite right. Does the playing out of ideas in the second half defuse the beginning of the movie? Or is it that watching the second half first makes the second half actually literally become the first half, now itself holding the mystery and promise, in addition to the action that is the consequence of the premise? Plus you're a lot closer to the end when you start. Thus the second half keeps its own strengths while simultaneously inheriting those of the first half. Wow. Course then the first half is drained, deflated, turned into backstory, or worse yet, flashback; there are folks hate flashbacks. Why go back and watch the first half anyway? Put it in with the other extras. But if we're talking about a really good movie that you'd want to see twice, then watching the first half would be like watching a good movie the second time for the first time. I mean, for the first time the second time; and if it isn't a good movie, then you can skip the first half and save that time and effort for the second half of some other movie. Or, wait. Why not just watch first halves only, and then move on? Or second halves only? Why does anybody watch both halves? Watching the second half first, when the credits roll at the end, do you want to go back to the beginning and see what you missed? Or is last-half-first just a crude way of watching a movie backwards? Do that in sixteenths, say, and Memento would become chronological? Brad Pitt in Benjamin Button would grow old normally? Primer would be just as confusing as it is in its regular order? I watched the second half of Sixth Sense only. New rule: watch any half of a Shyamalan flick and call it a day.

    So I happened to have at hand "The Rules of the Game," the Jean Renoir 1939 classic that I've started a time or two before but somehow never managed to watch all the way through. This is the movie that was lost during the war and rediscovered in the 50s. Renoir comments in it on the degeneracy of the French upper crust before the war. Caused an uproar the night it opened; one critic tried to burn down the theater. The film runs 106 minutes on the Criterion DVD, so I put it in and advanced to the 53-minute mark. Immediately a man and his lover from earlier days say goodbye to each other (arguing over whether it's to be "adieu" or "au revoir"). The fellow's wife watches them smooch from afar. Then the lover and the wife quickly became friends in a sharp scene. Then lots of bedroom antics ensue. Most satisfying. Reminded me of that soap-opera truth: you can enter a soap at any random episode and get your footing within minutes. In fact, I felt exhilarated. Here was a "great" movie that I've been avoiding for years and in seconds, I'm already halfway though it! Sort of. I watched the third quarter and I must admit, when I came back the next evening for the final quarter, I did have a little trouble differentiating Christine from Genievieve. But hey, I knew that I'd get a primer in the first half; no worries. And I did. Back at the beginning I was introduced to the tragical characters, learning in the credits that Jean Renoir was one of them, not just the director. Second half: farce and cynicism. First half: more serious; interpersonal relationships.  Last-to-first improved the movie.

    Having watched a classic in this way, I thought that next I'd try a movie that was poorly received. I had "War, Inc." in the queue and Rotten Tomatoes pegs it at 30%, with critics like Stephen Holden and Roger Ebert panning it. I commenced watching it at the 53-minute mark of its 107 minutes. (Hey, Marisa Tomai. Joan Cusack. I wrote a word or two a while ago  about actresses working into their 40s and 50s. Add Marisa Tomai and Joan Cusack to the list. Tomai is a great choice to match up romantically with John Cuscack in this flick. She's two years older than him and still getting it done, as she goes au natural in "Before the Devil Knows You're Dead.") The chief rap against the movie is that it's chaotic, but taking the last half as a 54-minute movie, the chaos comes across as a natural consequence of dropping into the film in media res. The result: a spritely, entertaining, less-than-an-hour-long movie. Great locations. Many of my favorite stars showing up for a riff or two. I laughed a lot at satirical, over-the-top, incongruously violent scenes. And then, going back to the beginning, as with Rules of the Game, I found myself focusing on the acting, the characters, the multiplying plot points - like a prequel that might be better or worse than the original but that is of interest just for giving me more of something that I enjoyed in the first place. Second half: plenty of action, stars, anti-war riffing, and other stuff to look at, and ignorable plot. First half: plot stuff but plenty of stuff to just look at, too. Last-to-first improved the movie.

    Next, "Funny Ha Ha." I dealt with this one in an earlier review. Second half: most excellent angst of youth. First half: some romantic stuff I'm glad I didn't know in the second half. Last-to-first improved the movie.

    And finally, "Game Over." The movie runs 84 minutes; I jumped in at minute 45, where begins by chance a major guitar-hero sequence featuring the music of Ozzie Osbourne ("Bark At The Moon"), with Carrell channeling Jack Black. The second half of the movie is plot-driven as situations evolve; the first half plays as day-in-the-life. In Game Over I'm thinking that setting the context in the first half is a good thing; here might be a movie where the second half is in fact strengthened by the first half. Unlike the previous three films I watched. Willie Nelson shows up in the second half, though, and the sooner he's onscreen the better. And going back-to-front you get that guitar sequence twice, beginning and end, which is a good thing... My God, can I get back to basics here? Does life have to be so complicated? There's a case to be made for watching a story with a beginning, a middle, and an end, from the beginning, through the middle, to the end. For a story with three acts. For a story with an arc. For sitting back and letting the author and director lead you through the drama unfolding before you. Who am I, I ask myself rhetorically, to snatch this experience from their hands by wantonly dropping into their movie wherever I please? It's an outrage. Leave the poor movie alone! Game Over: first scene, the protagonist wakes up in bed in the morning, virginal and ready to embark, farting. Is that so wrong? What profitith me for to start with him at the pinnacle of his day, as a guitar god? Back off. OK, I apologize. I won't do it again.

    Homework: watch High Noon in quarters, last quarter first, end-to-front. Extra credit: watch a full season of 24 in reverse order.

    If you like Game Over, check out "Grandma's Boy" and "Clerks."


  • Are there any old-fashioned spies out there anymore?

    2 out of 2 people found this review helpful. [What do you think?]

    I was jogging the other day, listening to Filmcouch #97, and the boys on the program asked whether there are any movies being made in the old spy genre anymore. Pure spy movies, as I think they put it. Or are we now left  with, through evolutionary Hollywood transmogrification, only action spies  (Bourne), humorous spoofy spies  (Powers), and a few  self-referential takes on the old genre, viz., The Constant  Gardener.

    So for a few blocks I mentally recapitulated the efflorescence of the spy genre in the Sixties, as I remember it.  Fleming, who started it all when JFK told an interviewer that he read the Bond books before bed at night, Len  Deighton (Michael Caine as Quiller), the  Flint movies. Richard Burton in the  first La Carre effort.

    Then I spent a couple of blocks coming up with the following list:

    Spy Kids (2001, 2002)
    Confessions of a Dangerous Mind  (2002)
    The Tailor of Panama (2001)
    Spy Game (2001)
    Breach (2007)

    Later I did a power search of 2000-2008 in IMDB for "spy" and "spies." Didn't see much.

    My conclusion: There was a period, beginning with Dr. No and ending, perhaps, with Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy, (1979) and Smiley's People (1982), when a true (Bond-inspired) spy genre existed. Since then, from time to time, a movie involving spies appears, but only conforming to the conventions of the old genre, if at all, by accident. This is similar to comparing Hollywood genre romantic comedies (which conform to a strict set of rules) to French romantic comedies (which don't).


  • Funny Ha Ha - A Review

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    Under discussion:

    Funny Ha Ha  (2003)

    The Puffy Chair  (2006)

    Old Joy  (2006)

    LOL  (2007)

    Get Smart  (2008)

    War, Inc.  (2008)

    Baghead  (2008)

    The Last Request  (2008)

    First paragraph of a  review that I posted last year:

    "If I'm in the mood for a Western, I want horses.  If I'm in the mood for explosions, I go to a Jerry Bruckheimer or Michael Bay movie. In either case, I don't want, say, Max Von Sydow playing chess with Death in some black-and-white hovel on the rocky shores of Sturnnveggloven. In the same way, if I'm in the mood to watch echo-boomer twenty-somethings filming their friends hanging out with each other in small apartments and on the urban stoop and in the homes and basements of their parents and grandparents, none of whom will ever appear onscreen, then for those of you who haven't seen one such film before, this would be mumblecore."

    My assigned movie, "Funny Ha Ha," would be perhaps the first film in the mumblecore genre. Did I read something somewhere about how frequently, for some mysterious reason, the first in a genre is also the best? Homer, Milton, and Cervantes were mentioned. Could this be true of FHH? Is it the purest, as well as the first, mumblecore expression of newly-adult American modern life on the hoof, before the mumblecore melodrama of Mutual Appreciation or the variations on a theme in "LOL" or the psychological depth of The Puffy Chair? A question to keep in mind as I watch.

    Haven't heard much from the mumblecore community lately. What's the buzz? What's the buzz around saying what's the buzz? Stephen Holden called Baghead a mumblecore movie - comedy/horror mumblecore? Are movies like In Search of a Midnight Kiss moving mumblecore into some new merged genre? Was Old Joy really mumblecore, as it's often listed; some genre morphing might have already taken place in that one. Andrew Bujalski, who wrote, directed, and starred in FHH, hasn't made a feature film in years; he's done some acting but not made any movies. Kate Dollenmayer, who plays Marnie, the lead in FHH, appeared in Bujalski's next film and then disappeared behind the camera. There's an album with her name on it; otherwise, she's light on the google.

    FHH caught me in one of my watching-the-last-half-of-the-movie-first phases. I've recently finished Rules of the Game and War, Inc. that way. Watching those two films backwards helped them, in my estimation. I'm guessing in advance that watching "Funny Ha Ha," starting at the 45-minute mark, will not harm my enjoyment of the film and may help it. But we'll see.

    Fooey! Now I've slipped up and taken a peek at the first few paragraphs of A.O. Scott's FHH review in the NYT, wherein he tells us that the film is about a young woman's fruitless search for a little love and meaning in her life. Why did I read that? So now why should I bother dropping into the middle of the movie, already knowing that? The adventure and mystery are ruined. Feh. But I'll do it anyway. So. There Marnie is, passed out in a car. Now she stays with a girlfriend and her girlfriend goes on a job interview. Oops, Marnie is the girlfriend, not the drunk in the car. Confusion. Good. That's how I like it to be. No harm done reading a little A.O. Scott. Meanwhile, the theme of the movie is made clear in minutes, middle start or not, once I've got Marnie in my sights. Perhaps my initial excitement was a little attenuated, but now I'm involved, so onward!

    Marnie is wearing a T-shirt from a Newton grammar school. Newton is an upscale community in the Boston suburbs. Always made me think of fig newtons, not Isaac. I seem to remember a mall there, back in the 60s, out on Commonwealth Avenue. Bujalski was born in Boston. A good place to locate a movie about the just-graduated and I speak as one who swam in that social sea after college for a couple of years. Youth, out of school at last. FHH is the pure unvarnished article. The essence of mumblecore. Absolute minimum script, or so it appears onscreen. The meta experience identical to the dramatic experience; that is, there are two layers working here, carrying the same message: (a) level one, the young woman moving along through her first adult life structure while (b) level two, the actors live their lives for us by acting onscreen, so that, for this viewer at least, the element in FHH most profoundly moving is the sight of these twentysomethings struggling with their craft, new adult members of society, now with the responsibility of paying rent and negotiating car insurance (no small task in Massachusetts!), with the need to discover meaning in the challenges that they face and in their responses to those challenges. Not the characters, you understand, but the actors themselves. A reviewer comments "The semi-improvised performances seem so natural that it is tempting to confuse the actors with their characters," but the point is that these performances highlight the actors not as the characters they portray but as individuals working - that is, acting. Or am I just being fooled into thinking that I'm seeing the actors, not the characters, because of Bujalski's style? But no. I know nothing about the actors; perhaps they have something in common with their characters, perhaps not. There is a signature cadence in untrained improvisation, with its small pauses not heard in everyday conversation, neither conversation between those who know each other nor that between strangers, tiny pauses born of the actor's interior monolog, pauses which replace the verbal overlaps and gaps found in everyday talk. So that as we watch, the actors think about their lines, or the direction just provided offscreen, or the act of acting, anything but the less conscious social drivers propelling the rest of us day-to-day in casual conversation. Each actor steps into the frame with an ineffable sense of innocence, usually with an embarrassed grin, and speaks, and we understand that here onscreen are living reminders of already-came-of-age, struggling with dialog as an instantiated metaphor for the whole all-of-it struggle involved in becoming an adult. I find this evocative in the extreme, a spiritual supermagnet pulling me back to that same time in my own life, with all the memories, nostalgia, speculations, and regrets attendant to it - a time in my own life when I'm more than ripe for that to happen. Could I, would I, do better a second time around? That question forms the emotional core of the movie for my demographic; the same thing happens when we watch our own children in their twenties. Where else can you get that in cinema? Not in The Incredible Hulk, that's for sure.

    The Boojer, by the way, saves the juiciest scenes in the movie for himself - an excruciating dinner and a later sort-of-extended-date with Marni. Cultural extra credit: compare and contrast the boy/girl dinners in FHH and I Think I Love My Wife.

    At the end of the second half, I return to reviewland and find:

    A.O. Scott: "What gives this film its quiet pathos is not so much the relative bleakness of Marnie's circumstances but the modesty of her expectations. At one point, she makes a to-do list, and its lack of ambition - spend more time outdoors, make friends with Jackie, learn to play chess - is both funny and sad."

    Carina Chocano: "Mainly, Marnie is staying afloat and trying to connect with others who are equally lost."

    Seems like I've seen a lot of this kind of hangdog vibe around the FHH reviews - negatives about mood and lifestyle - and I am not down with that (although I otherwise agree with the NYT and LA Times FHH review content). Perhaps having reached the top of the mountain makes it hard for Scott and Chocano to see those younger who are still way back down in the foothills. Marnie and her friends in FHH are newly-minted adults living life in that broad, spacious, undefined socioeconomicsphere found in first-world countries, a landscape where middle-class children find themselves free to roam, after emerging from college, if they happen to be situated in the middle of the startingout spectrum: neither at one end on the turf of the cinematically-ever-popular male slackers so often seen onscreen, nor the other end on that of the striving medical-school, law-school, and computer-geek proto-professionals; that is, Marnie and her friends are living the unfocused life that many of us lived in our twenties. I speak as one who stumbled off the college campus for the last time to find myself, at the age of 23, living alone in Boston, working at a job I wasn't interested in, and looking for love after refusing to commit to marriage and being dropped by my intended, who switched to her Plan B awfully quickly, it seemed to me. The quiet pathos for my demographic didn't happen then, it's happening to us now, in our dotage, on the viewer's side of the screen. Where is the pathos in Marnie's freshness and energy and in the potential of youth, for Marnie and her friends with an open and unknowable and limitless future stretching ahead of them, or in the knowledge that Kate Dollenmayer herself has moved on into that future, or in Bujalski's vision? Marnie's to-do list in no way lacks ambition; is in no way funny or sad. The act of making that list metaphorizes the ambition of the young; the contents of the list highlight the innocence of youth; it's a list drawn up by someone with all the time in the world and, interestingly, it is a list quite similar to such a one as made up by someone at the other end of life, without much time remaining.

    So I asked my daughter about this quiet-pathos thing, her being 23 and a recent graduate and living in Boston, all the same as Marnie; her reply: "As far as waitressing goes, I feel embarrassed about it at times, but I've actually made some valuable connections and now have places to stay and help finding employment if I want to go to South Carolina, Maui, Australia, or Columbia (have business cards/notes/emails from all of these people). Plus I make ok money, work with nice people, take home free food (ok, thats not completely kosher but its not like I get a salary or even hourly pay that amounts to anything after taxes). Plus, Im learning to speak Haitian Creole while simultaneously turning enemies into friends (the cooks didnt like me at first bc they assumed I was racist and told me so, but when I asked to learn their language they are suddenly happy to see me each day). So from my lowly job Im gaining: communication skills, agility training, extreme multi-tasking experience, networking opportunities, and employee benefits (that's the free food). Sounds almost ambitious when phrased correctly. This isnt to say I dont doubt what Im doing because I do, every day, multiple times a day. I get asked time and again by my bosses, co-workers and customers "why are you here if you have a degree from an Ivy League school??" One person even went so far as to say I was being selfish because letting my parents spend all that money to send me to a good school only to "disregard" my qualifications by working in a chain restaurant was just like throwing all that tuition money in the trash. Obviously obtaining "street smarts" and trying to experience different ways of life before choosing the "purpose-driven" one is something only misfits and failures do... So what am I trying to say here? Maybe im just trying to rationalize my own current existence when in reality it is just as ambitionless and lost as Marnie's. But maybe if the reviewers got off their NY Times and La Times high horses and really thought about what it means to EXPERIENCE and LIVE life, they might see things a wee bit differently. Or maybe not. Am I giggly all the time? as my friend Lynnea would say: "HELLS no!" But I dont think Ill look back on this period of my life and see it as a time of just "staying afloat" (my high school years on the other hand...)."

    One more take on the pathos meme, quickly, before getting on with the movie: Marnie celebrates her birthday quietly. Proactive note to lugubrious reviewers: this also is not pathos. What the heck did I do on my birthdays back in Boston? Who knows? I do remember being in a laundromat at North Station on Christmas Eve one year. It was snowing. Neither the Bruins nor the Celtics were in town, so The Garden was deserted except for me and an old woman. I went back to my room and drank. I still remember that, so I guess it means something to me, but I didn't feel pathetic at the time. I felt lonely but pretty good.

    Ginormous. I've had that word in my head. I'm thinking that if I write it down here, maybe it will go away.

    And so on to the first half of FHH.

    Oh my God. Bujalski saddles Marnie with an unrequited-love jones, up front. Booge, how could you? What were you thinking? This is something a novice twenty-something filmmaker would do. Oh, right. But this is why watching War, Inc. backwards helped the movie so much; the process cut out loads of unnecessary plot points till it was too late to matter. In the same way, I was able to watch the downslope of FHH without these moulting feathers of love annoying me. Hmm. Now Marnie liplocks some dude at the twenty-eight minute mark. I would never have predicted that. Oh, no, and then she osculates again three minutes later with her married-dude friend. I'm so glad I'm coming to this at the end and not at the beginning. Why? Because in the second half she's staring into the future without seeing beyond the walls of her room, locked in her head while her anger percolates unfelt somewhere down there lower in her body - after the drinking and smooching fail her - but I understood that, in the second half of the movie, without the presumptive romance-o-motivation of the first.

    No. I'm overreacting. Belay that last paragraph. I've been Hollywoodpavlovianized. This is not Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan in the last minute of Sleepless in Seattle or You've Got Mail. This is random lowkey young adult semijoyless evolutionary smootching, pebbles in a pond that cause no ripples. Marnie pretends that it didn't happen, isn't happening, and I'll do the same. Romance is a big deal for these kids, perhaps the biggest deal. My twenties were mostly a history of bad dates. Easy to put off career issues to the next decade while getting the living part right. So Booge perforce makes use of that, but not so much that we can't shrug when the lips meet, and then move on. But still, this series of fraught encounters with men, I don't know; quit beating the drum, Booge. This does remind me, though, that I watched the original Forsythe Saga backward. As with Marnie and Alex in the second half of FHH, something heavy had obviously gone on between Irene and Soames, and Fleur's life was constantly perturbed by it, but it seemed more romantic to me to not know what that something was, not to know what had happened - seemed more romantic than watching the first half and seeing whatever it was that happened actually happen. Thesis: nostalgia coupled with imagination is always stronger than dramatic invention, probably because lived experience, including the actual act of imagination, is more visceral than skoptophilia and its milder brethren.

    New-Age side note: Coincidence #1: Earlier in this screed I wrote a sentence using the word "evolutionary" and then I started FHH up again and watched the last ten minutes of the movie, which I hadn't seen yet (minutes 35 to 45) and Marnie says to Alex or Alex says to Marnie, "You're the most evolved person I know." Coincidence #2: Later that day, I went to Blockbuster to return Get Smart (I'm rating it "j" on a scale of 1 to q) and while there I picked up The Last Request, which somebody somewhere liked a little bit, and while I was checking out, the clerk asked me how I liked Get Smart and I said, Anne Hathaway is no Barbara Feldon, and when I got home and started The Last Request, there Barbara was, in a starring role. The odds of plucking up a Barbara Feldon movie at random? Antiginormous. Coincidence #3: Marnie's shirt has the number 18 on its back. I'm 18b. My daughter, I learned THE SAME DAY, is living in apartment #18 in her building on Concord St. Consult your Jung! These coincidental whorls in the universal fabric happened ON THE SAME DAY as Obama's election and mean that FHH is connected to the core zeitgeist of the planet. You read it here first.

    Propositions: (1) The first half of a movie is usually better than the second half when the movie is watched in normal order. (2) Watching the second half of a movie first often improves the movie. Sometimes, watching the second half is sufficient in itself. (3) Thus, perhaps whichever half you watch first is the best.

    I had to ask Wilson, who assigned this movie to me, what the last two spoken lines of the last scene were. They seemed crucial in defining the mood of the movie, but mumblecore being named mumblecore for a reason, I couldn't make out what Alex and Marnie said to each other. Fortunately, Wilson could. And those two lines bear out my contention, or so I think, that Bujalski is a deeply optimistic guy and FHH is, in the end, a celebration, not a paean. In that final scene, Marnie shows some anger, a desire to move out into the world, and a rejection of the feckless Alex. Good for her and good for a society and economy (knock on wood) where youth is able to rattle around a little. I watched a mumblecore movie made by Joe Swanberg a while back, in which the protagonists grow stronger in the face of Swanberg's efforts to render them helpless; Bujalski throws down some marbles in Marnie's path, but his affection for her never lets her fall hard enough to break anything.

    This film that launched a genre reminds us that being young and being old are two entirely different things. (Bujalski turned 30 this year.)


  • Mongols I Have Known, Social Studies, and The Hulk

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    I always pictured Mongols as small and tough, riding across the steppes of Asia on their hardy little war ponies, each man keeping a vein open and clamped in his horse's neck so that he could drink its blood while in the saddle. These Mongol horsemen were all bowlegged and handled their innovative recurved composite bows with deadly accuracy. However, my son had a friend throughout grammar school whose father was a Mongol. Far from being small and bowlegged, this dude was built like a Tongan. He did have the Mongolian attitude that I imagined, though. When his wife told him that she was leaving him and taking the kids with her, he told her that she was free to go but that if she tried to take the children, he'd kill them all. She believed him. So he raised the kids. We took the boy on a camping trip once. His father gave him some money to help out with supplies. At our first stop - a general store down the road from the Rouge Y Noir Cheese Factory, he spent the whole wad on candy, which he stored away in his backpack and worked on throughout the trip. Anyway, along came The Story of the Weeping Camel and Mongolian Ping Pong and my image of the Mongolian male transmogrified in the direction of, say, the Inuits. But now, with Mongol, I'm back to the image of my son's friend's father, even though the star of the movie, playing Genghis Khan, is Japanese.

    And by the way, what is it with Inner Mongolia and Outer Mongolia? I was all scheduled for my Asian Adventure when I noticed that I was only ticketed to Inner Mongolia. No way! I told them. I don't want to be stuck in Inner Mongolia; I want to sleep out under the stars in Outer Mongolia.

    For whatever reason, I haven't watch any of those doctor and lawyer shows that deal with a current social issue or two every week. Until Eli Stone, that is. I just watched the first season on DVD. Each episode, a new issue. My question is, given the fact that no one has ever learned anything in their high-school civics or social studies class, why not just show an episode from one of these shows every day in class? It couldn't hurt.
     
    The Hulk movies are entertaining except for the Hulk himself. It would make all the difference if The Hulk, when called into existence, was moved to do something other than rage and break things. Perhaps the big transformation could be triggered by Bruce Banner's extreme hunger, and he would binge on sushi, or get set off by Bruce Banner's powerful thirst, with Hulk do Jello shots to an insane degree. Or, of course, Bruce could get a powerful itch down there.


  • Uncounted: The New Math of American Elections (2007) - Review

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    Suppose that you're a normal, everyday moviewatcher. You've seen a few documentaries and now I come to you and ask you to make a documentary your own self. "Who, me?" you say, "What do I know about making a documentary?" "Just give it a try," I say, and I say, "David Earnhardt did it. This is his first stab at making one. So, your movie will be about voter fraud, like his was. Here's a camera. Get out there and record some interviews with the sort of folks that you see shopping every day down at the Save N' Go Supermarket. That is, turn up some interesting folks - folks maybe just a tad peculiar in their views and in their aspect. Then Wiki some voter statistics and find some footage of voters standing in line and, I predict, you will make a movie very like Uncounted: The New Math of American Elections.

    Nothing wrong with that. The movie's karma is positive. It's impossible to take a step these days without tripping over an article on voter problems, so you probably won't learn anything new, but at the movie's conclusion, Earnhardt urges you to:

    1. Contact your representatives in congress.
    2. Say no to paperless voting machines.
    3. Volunteer to be a poll observer.
    4. Volunteer to be a poll worker.
    5. Share the film with others.
    6. Dialog with others on the subject of voter fraud.
    7. Write letters to the editor.
    8. Lobby for change.

    Good and reasonable urgings for these, our parlous times.

    The end credits also serve as a bibliography.

    Thus endth my review of the documentary Uncounted.

    But now listen. Who do you want to govern you in difficult times? A guy who can't win an election even when he garners a majority of the legitimate votes cast, or a guy who can turn a handful of votes into a freaking landslide?

    There is incontrovertible evidence in the Lascaux cave drawings that before one of the annual cave elections, the Neanderthals stole all the voting clubs and as a result soundly thrashed the Cro-Magnons. The Neanderthal who was thus elected started some unnecessary wars, flubbed local aid after the neighborhood volcano erupted, and caused the cave-dwelling population in general to seriously rethink the whole business of voting-with-clubs technology going forward.

    Full disclosure: when I was in the fourth grade, the student who was to do the voice and operate the strings for the Peter Pan puppet in the big school puppet show was to be determined by student vote at an audition. Those of us trying out for the role stood behind a blanket rigged as a screen. We were to read out lines from the Peter Pan script when our number was called. The students on the other side of the blanket, once they heard all of us read, were to vote on the voice that would be Peter Pan. Before we began, I went to the end of the blanket and wrote down my number on a piece of paper and surreptitiously flashed it around the end of the curtain. We then did the readings. Turns out that the voting students didn't like me. They all voted against the number that I had flashed. However, by dumb luck I had flashed the wrong number and won the vote when all the haters raised their hands for me by mistake. My point here is that vote rigging is rife! Whatever it takes to pull Peter Pan's strings!

    Now let's suppose that the Republicans stole the '04 presidential election by flipping 3 million votes, as some claim that they did. This still means that almost half the voters in the U.S. cast their ballots to reelect Bush, after four years of his presidency - after the war, Katrina, the gutting of the EPA, so forth. Can we make an argument here that fraud or no fraud, fix or no fix, if almost half the country voted for Bush in '04, then the country as a whole deserved what it got throughout his second term? Can we make an argument that one in three citizens in America still likes George Bush and so the country richly deserves what's coming up next as well?

    And by the way, thought experiment: If Michael Moore made Fahrenheit 9/ll today instead of four years ago, how would the movie be different? Bush reading about the bunny rabbit, Katrina, the start of the war - all far in the past now. What the frack has Bush been doing the last four years that would still make Moore's movie Cannes-Golden-Palm-worthy? If you see Moore, please ask him for me and email me his response at this address. Thank you.

    If you do go ahead and make a documentary about voter fraud (votes don't kill people, voters kill people), and if you are of a conservative stripe, the film will probably focus on voter registration fraud, which according to McCain and Palin threatens to convert the U.S. into a Soviet-style state governed by the spawn of Satan. ACORN, formerly thought of as a minor civil-rights organization, turns out to be an outfit structured along the lines of SPECTRE. If you are of a liberal stripe, you'll want to warn all black voters that their ballots have already been cast by the central Republican Diebold computer, and that if they actually show up at the polls, they'll probably be pulled down by Sheriff Crawford's German Shepherds and dragged off to the county Gulag out beyond the settling ponds.

    I mean, if I'm standing there in front of an outsourced computerized voting machine, I'm accepting the fact up front that anything might happen to my vote. The computer might turn it upside down, or right to left, or black to white, or flip it, or delete it, or recycle it, or email it to Kirghizistan, or use it later to have me tracked down like a dog. Far from losing my vote, the computer may never forget or forgive me for it. I've seen Idiocracy. Twice. Dumb is stronger than smart and I've got history on my side to prove it. Last but not least, there might be a little person hiding inside that machine, operating its lights and whistles. Capture that reality in your film.

    And put in gerrymandering. For a nice touch, shoot the exteriors in Gerry, New York (on Route 60).

    And while I'm thinking about it, what is it with all those names on the ballots? Why am I voting for a damn judge? And how was I to know that my random selection of school-board members last year would cause natural selection to be tossed out of the grade-school curriculum in favor of that divine Providence who misengineered my lower spinal disks? And what is a county adjuster anyway? Explain to the viewer the steps that should be taken to clean up these ballots. Put all these jobs up for sale.

    Also, here's a hint for you, novice documentary-maker: rather than focusing on the sins of one political party or the other, go find an election that pits two unscrupulous win-at-any-cost types against each other. Gather your information during their campaigning and electioneering, as the attendant payouts and other tricks and frauds and jackanaperies ensue. Work quietly so as to avoid being shot or otherwise disappeared while doing so - and then when the election is over, don't fail to interview several of the folks who voted a lot - do they plan to spend their money or save it? Will they have a place in the new administration? Etc.

    General guidelines:

    1. Don't make the movie in your home state or any state that borders on your home state, to minimize blowback when you screen it.

    2. Never admit what you're doing to the local populace. Your great-uncle Jeter on his deathbed begged you to come to Cletisville to visit and record memories of the town and its old - very old - family memories. Hence your camera and the interviews.

    3. Adopt a rural accent.

    4. Wear only togs from Walmart.

    5. Buy drinks all around, frequently.

    6. Never mention the election, but it's ok to say, "So who is this Bubba Prendergast with his picture up on posters all over town?"

    7. Go to church.

    8. Don't talk to anyone with a dark skin, foreign accent, or Asian eyes.

    9. Keep your own eyes peeled on election day for ballot stuffing, vote buying, counterfeit votes, disappearing ballots and ballot boxes, scaring the voters, and murder.

    For a historical discussion of voter fraud, I refer you to Tracy Campbell's "Deliver the Vote: A History of Election Fraud, an American Political Tradition—1742-2004." For an in-depth examination of how to lose a local election and then come back and win the next one, if you know what I mean, I recommend "The Path to Power (The Years of Lyndon Johnson, Volume 1)," by Robert A. Caro. It can't be beat. For Diebold (not Livebold), Princeton University Exposes Diebold Flaws.

    Contest: What's the craziest conspiricy theory you've heard regarding the Bush/Gore, Bush/Kerry, or McCain/Obama election? Prize: Three votes in this year's special coroner's election in the town of Pigliver, Texas. (You have to cast one vote in the morning, one vote in the afternoon, and one vote in the evening, using the names Pardee, Pardeux, and Pardoo, respectively.)

    Movie recommendation: When it's all over, go watch Mr. Smith Goes to Washington to restore a little bit of your faith in the country.

    Let me conclude this review like any good politician concludes his speeches, whether currently indicted or not: God bless America.

     


  • Caro Diario (Dear Diary) - Review

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    Caro Diario  (1994)

    dear diary, i just watched a movie that has your italian cousin caro diario in it. now don't be jealous that caro diario appears in a big old color movie, whereas you're just a little bitty blog diary. don't be jealous that nanni moretti puts his little diary up on the big screen and and then writes into it there, or that nanni's so popular and witty and a real know-it-all, whereas you are typed into every day by a nobody who got caught one time with panties on his head. and finally, don't be jealous that whereas i lie to you all the time so that the wife and kids won't find out, nanni includes himself and his wife silvia right up there on the screen along with his little diary, and if he works up a heavy sweat, if you know what i mean, in a movie like quiet chaos, he can always tell silvia that he was just acting. although i hope that his twelve-year-old son doesn't see him doing what he did in that one, at least not until the boy grows up a little bit more. and when, i mean if, i ever do some heavy sweating like that, i'm keeping it to myself, dear diary! you won't need to know and neither will the wife.

    besides, d.d., nanni is sort of like me - popular where he lives but who else knows him? whereas i'm popular in my backyard, but only when i'm throwing buddy his rag bone or pouring purina into his dinner bowl. so hold your head up high, dear little diary, because you know why? eyes are reading you right now! whereas in the big city down there on the flats, with its i-don't-know-how-many libraries, caro diario is to be found only in the old carnegie free branch over by the cooling towers, on a vhs tape in a cardboard box! so sad.

    nanni made caro in three parts:

    part one - while he putt-putts around rome on his vespa, i am cruising pea gap on helga's old huffy. nanni shouts beautiful slogans and that makes him grow beautiful (he says), whereas i squawk at the pickininnies and they pull on my sheet. just kidding. i pass harry and leonard sitting on harry's porch. one day harry and leonard will be inside with the door closed and after that they'll either be back on the porch or off to discover the world, who knows which? dillian is planting lillies in front of the church. leonarda is in the cemetery lying down on a yellow tablecloth, practicing for when she goes there and doesn't come back. when i was in high school, there were scooters all over the place, mostly cushmans. where are they now? nanni says that there is a bridge in rome that he needs to cross twice a day (well, he can't cross it just once, i guess, and still get back home); so i'm crossing pea creek on the huffy, dear diary, on those two-by-fours that the noxapater clan laid down after the last storm washed away their sorry little excuse for a bridge.

    in part two, nanni travels around the aeolian islands with a friend who hasn't watched tv in 30 years. my nanny never watched tv. she could stand on the tail of her bear rug and expectorate a stream of tobacco juice into a hills bros coffee can balanced on the nose of the bear, making the can ring like a bell. she would dunk the head of the bear in a pail of water once a year on easter to clean off the residue of her misses.

    in part three, nanni gets sick. tumor. it don't look good for nanni. mild spoiler: 15 years later, at 55, he's still kicking. at first he just itched, dear diary, whereas i've got this godawful boil that makes me wonder how the hell i rode around the hamlet on that huffy all afternoon. nanni goes to doctors, whereas i use my special "medicine" from the pine grove half a mile up the hill. then nanny applies a poultice to the area and gives me a high colonic, though she don't call it that. so don't get sick, and if you want a horror film, forget saw or hostel and go find a documentary about cancer. also, quit watching so many movies and go help somebody who needs your help.

    what a thinker nanni is, d.d.! you won't catch him doing analogy or metaphor in this movie, no more than i do in you. he spits out the facts, straight onto the subtitles. although come to think of it, when he was riding around rome, there was no traffic, whereas on one of the islands that he visits, traffic is gridlocked and honking about it. could that mean something? can irony be metaphor?

    anyway, thank you to duder for recommending the movie. it was good and it got me going. tomorrow, dear diary, i'm watching guadacanal diary and then taking my .22 out into the field to plink varmints. then i'm going to italy for three weeks to visit cinquefrondi, mammola, and grotteria on a rented vespa. ciào for now.


  • B Movies

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    Earthstorm  (2006)

    my god, i love b movies. if there weren't b movies, i might not watch movies at all. nah, i would. but still. late at night and a little drunk, cut off and earthstorm are perfect, so i give them each z/q on a scale of 6.7. which reminds me of that critic who uses a scale of -5.0 to +5.0 but every rating of his is "a high +3.5" or a "low -2.5." dude, i'm not ragging on you, but just once rate a movie a straight +3.5 or -2.5 or whatever; or explain to me the precise difference between a +2.5, a high +2.5, and a low 2.5.

    earthstorm: a star named dirk. and steven baldwin. you know how when you go to imdb and list all the movies made by an actor and you haven't heard of 167 of them? like for malcom mcdowell? that's "cut off" and "earthstorm" and that's dirk and steven. malcom: "if...," "clockwork orange," "blue thunder," "heroes," and at least 120 movies we've never heard of - we love you.

    so, question: who is the worst for all the work that they have had done, faye dunaway or michelle pfeiffer? in "cut off," dunaway's armature looks like roddy mcdowall's mouth in planet of the apes.


  • KISS CHEMISTRY: CAN A LIGHTBULB SMOOCH A LIGHTENING BOLT?

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    Under discussion:

    The Notebook  (2004)

    I was watching the poorly-received Over Her Dead Body (2008) the other night, (Rotten Tomatoes = 14%) and enjoying it, when, along toward the middle of the movie, Paul Rudd and Lake Bell realize that they're in love, and smooch. Then, pulling back, Rudd makes a little joke about it. Ok, I understand that there is such a thing as a "script," and that in this romantic comedy, the protagonists are keeping it light, but still... After Bell lays one on him, in a perfect world, wouldn't Rudd have a few more stars in his eyes? So it occured to me that his star power, so cool here, maybe was overmatching Lake's, whereas if he tried that with Angelina Jolie, say, he'd have looked like a schmoe. Could it be that when we talk about the chemistry between a man and a woman in a romantic movie, we're just comparing their relative star powers? If the luminesences match, the kiss works; otherwise, it doesn't? So that Tom Hanks can't give or receive a good smooch in his movies because he's too big, starwise, for his leading ladies? The Fiennes brothers are good smoochers because they consistently hook up with medium-level female stars? Or how about Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams in The Notebook (2004) - there's a star-power match.

    Requires further research.


  • Aging Boobs: Would a Lift Be So Wrong?

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    Under discussion:

    Film Name  Production Year

    Scent of a Woman  (1992)

    Teacher's Pet  (1958)

    Heat  (1995)

    Absolute Power  (1997)

    Leatherheads  (2007)

    Rambo  (2008)

    Kabluey  (2008)

    Watching Kabluey the other night, I was delighted to see that Lisa Kudrow is letting the camera record her age (45), at least in this movie. Her part required her to look haggard and beaten down, but not necessarily mid-forties; in this business, it takes some guts to show your age, especially if you're female. Helen Hunt, born the same year, looks 45 in Then She Found Me, which is good, except that as the director, she cast herself as a 39-year-old trying to conceive. Does this mean that she thinks that she still looks 39 onscreen? I like Helen Hunt, so I hope that she isn't deluding herself. A while back I found I Could Never Be Your Woman unwatchable because Michelle Pfeiffer has had so much work done that I feel creepy looking at her. See, everybody should be in charge of their own body and if someone wants to get a little plastic surgery done, fine. Their perogative. But as a movie-goer, it's my perogative to choose not to go to films that creep me out. Sorry, Michelle. In the movie she's the October in a May/October relationship, which is good, but that face. Whew.

    And as soon as I say that, here comes Aging Gracefully with Michelle Pfeiffer.

    The common trope on women is: "Except for occasional supporting roles as mothers (who are never germane to the plot), Hollywood actresses disappear from the screen at about age 35 or certainly by 40. After of few years of exile, they turn up as has-been semi-celebrities on reality shows then disappear again until they age into grande dames like Helen Mirren, Judi Dench and Maggie Smith." (Ronni Bennett) Somehow I've been thinking that there are more women of middle age in the movies now than there used to be. True or false? Women who never stoped working, like Geneviève Bujold and Charlotte Rampling. Hmm. In their forties or older: Nicole Kidman, Lucy Liu, Laura Linney, Demi Moore, Julia Roberts, Holly Hunter, Meg Ryan, Mary-Louise Parker, Elizabeth Perkins, Mary McConnell, Felicity Huffman, Teri Hatcher, Alfre Woodward, Geena Davis, Stockard Channing, Frances Conroy, Glenn Close, Bette Midler, Susan Sarandon, Goldie Hawn. I keep thinking of more. Angelica Houston. Lily Tomlin. Sarah Palin. Debra Winger. Catherine Deneuve. Got to stop. Signorney Weaver, Isabella Rossallini, Juliette Binoche, Isabelle Adjani, Lili Taylor, Jane Curtain. Got... to... let... it... go. Janeane Garofalo. Julie Delpy. Sharon Stone. And by the way, Helen Mirren was never out of work, nor was Maggie Smith, nor was Dame Dench.

    I remember how pleased I was when Pacino let his age show, in movies like... hmm... when did he start looking ravaged? Heat? Scent of a Woman?. Not like Cary Grant in North By Northwest or Gable in Teacher's Pet - geezers romancing younger women. I like Grant and Gable but having them nuzzling young dishes in their late 50s... Ugh. To me, Gable and Doris Day in a clinch has not aged well. Meanwhile, my hat is off to Clint Eastwood for making Laura Linney his daughter instead of his squeeze in Absolute Power. He was pushing it with Streep in Madison County (she's 19 years younger than he is). And Redford and Deniro just throw their aging mugs up there onscreen without feathers. So too Woody Allen, but thank God he's finally stopping pairing himself with young women.

    Btw, Paul Newman. RIP. There was a guy who looked great all the way through.

    Burt Reynolds, once, just once, take off the rug.

    In Leatherheads, Renee Zellweger, 39, claims to be 29; does she mean it or was that just a character lying about her age?

    Stallone, ok, he's had so much work done that he's entered the realm of the weird but for some reason that doesn't bother me at all. There he is in the latest Rambo, totally unwrinkled and supposedly a guy living as a snake-catcher out in the bushes and that totally works for me. On the other hand, what is it with Mathew Broderick? I kept staring at him in Then She Found Me, trying to figure out what's strange about his face. He looks like a recovered burn victim. I googled his name along with "work done" and all I got were hits about his wife's plastic surgery (Sarah Jessica Parker's, that is).

    Bottom line: skip the lift.

    P.S.: Parker Posey, Maggie Cheung, Michelle Yeoh, Mary Kay Place, Dianne Weist.


  • The Year My Parents Went On Vacation (2007)

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    Under discussion:

    Gettysburg  (1993)

    The Last Emperor  (1987)

    Happiness  (1998)

    City of God  (2002)

    Downfall  (2005)

    Mother of Mine  (2005)

    Madeinusa  (2006)

    Summer Palace  (2008)

    Son of Rambow  (2008)

    Kabluey  (2008)

    O Ano em Que Meus Pais Saíram de Férias (2006)

    ***** SPOILERS *****

    The Year My Parents Went On Vaction tells the story of a pre-teen boy in São Paulo, Brazil, separated from his parents during a military coup in 1970. As the army takes over, the country is distracted in part by Brazil's successes in the World Cup of that year (sort of like following the pennant race or NFL football in the U.S. as the country's financial system implodes). The movie is pleasant, never dull, well shot, with a delicate score that adds to the feelings of sadness and loss inherent in the plot (the director threw out the first score written for the movie; Beto Villares then did it over and got it right).

    TYMPWOV begins with a mother and father taking their son to grandfather's house in São Paulo. The three are riding in a VW bug, '65 or earlier. A Brazilian friend suggests that for verisimilitude, they should have been in a Renault or Citroen, because the bug was the inexpensive car of youth and the lower middle-class; her family always drove French cars. Be that as it may, the movie's streets are rife with vintage bugs and VW buses, though I did spot a Renault or two. I mention this because the first car that I bought and paid for with my own money was a new '67 bug from Belmont Motors in Massachusetts, powder blue. It has been sitting since 1981 or so in a succession of company parking lots, progressively degenerating until, paint gone, wheels seized, flowering weeds growing from dirt caught in the chassis crevicles, it looks so bad that I was ordered to have it towed off the property because it had become an eyesore, at least to one sorehead in the company who remained anonymous - the bug's engine refusing to start, a hole in the floor threatening to release the battery under the back seat like a bomb dropped from its bay at the first speed bump, the windows opaque as my glasses in the Turkish bath down the street. Fortunately, my son stepped up and volunteered to restore the car as a hobby. He abstracted it on a flatbed towtruck via Raul's Towing Service to his driveway, where it sat, partially disassembled, for a week or two before the city, at the behest of neighbors or a cruising patrol car, ordered him to remove it. He rolled the poor thing into his garage, wheels now at least freed, out of sight behind closed doors, and since then he has ordered replacement parts from an unending list. He tells me that there are two sources from which to obtain these parts: (a) a quality manufacturer somewhere or other, or (b)Brazil. You want quality, you go to the quality manufacturer; you want cheap, you go to Brazil. I don't know if that's true or not but when I replaced a bumper a long time ago, it had a "Made in Brazil" sticker on the inside surface. One tap by another vehicle and the bumper folded up like an origami noodle. Also, curiously, '67 door handles are unavailable. But the point is, if you're a bug lover you might want to give TYMPWOV a little love for that reason if for no other.

    Director/writer Cao Hamburger and his co-writer, Claudio Galperin, were both born in São Paulo in 1962 and were eight years old when General Emilio Medici engineered his coup. Hamburger's parents "went on vacation" at that time, but only for a few weeks. In this movie, Hamburger and Galperin share some of their childhood experiences growing up in the cultural melting-pot of São Paulo. Hamburger's father came from a German/Jewish family that emigrated to Brazil before World War II. His mother was of Italian/Catholic stock, though both parents were non-religious scientists as he grew up. He says that he began thinking about São Paulo's mix of cultures and his roots while living and feeling like an outsider in London, another city where races and nationalities mingle. According to Hamburger (and my Brazilian friends), Brazil is deeply divided over socio-economic class issues (the rich, a small middle-class, and the poor) but is accepting of emigrants; he refers to Brazilian culture as Samba culture - "Samba" here meaning, roughly, "let's all dance together." In fact, Hamburger started out with all sorts of ideas for the movie, but while making it settled on the idea of enjoying the brief periods of sunshine in life on a cloudy day. The movie was made on a medium budget by Brazilian standards. Since the success of films like Central Station and City of God, Hamburger says, funding opportunities for cinema have gotten a lot better. He used professionals as well as non-actors from the community, which in the film is a conservative Jewish neighborhood. Today, Hamburger says, this neighborhood is Korean, but since he is exploring his own roots, for the purposes of the film it remains Jewish. Hamburger spent four months finding an empty apartment building to use for the shoot; the movie was filmed completely on location.

    So often in making a movie, the director starts out with an idea and massages it until a theme for the film is produced. This process can extend over years with input from editors, writers, friends, family, and assorted other sources while the director chases funding, as I describe in my review of Manda Bala. Hamburger's initial inspiration was to examine the mixture of cultures in Brazil, and from that grew the idea of examining a year in the life of a boy growing up in the same time and place that Hamburger and Galperin did. During the making of the movie, the military coup and contemperaneous world-cup excitement in the film emerged, according to the director, as metaphors for life. It seems to me that some of these metaphors crop up post-production but perhaps I'm just metaphor-blind or metaphor-averse. Does a movie metaphor count if it's discovered after the movie is finished? Does it count if a reviewer invokes it, rather than the director? I do like the way that Claudia Llosa, for example, disavows metaphors in her Maven-reviewed Madeinusa, a movie which could easily be weighed down with them. I'm guessing that Hamburger's military coup and World Cup would remain in the movie whether Hamburger deemed them metaphors or not. As it is, he has one more thing to talk about during interviews.

    Anyway, the coup represents a dark day and the World-Cup victory represents a shaft of sunlight breaking through the gloom of that day. The dark day is life under the military regime and the sunlight represents those moments in life that you must embrace in order to get through the bad patches - did I just nest a metaphor within a metaphor there? The life of goalies in general is also a metaphor in the movie, but if the victory is a bright shaft of sunlight, what is the goalie? A meteorite the size of Oshgosh? Who knows? The gray day/sunlight metaphor, applied to my own personal life, would be like at my work, where my boss would be dictator General Emilio Medici, and out of the grinding gray of morning I would emerge at lunchtime to sit down across from Izzy Vulvano and beat his pants off playing Magic and using my special red and black deck. Also the movie is about dealing with our loneliness and our connections to others, how we make them and break them and move on. Is the movie itself a metaphor for that, or just a movie about that? Also, the director does not agree that soccer is the opiate of the masses, exploited by the junta in this case to maintain calm. Hamburger is going for gray day/sunshine here, not gray day/opium. And having mentioned Manda Bala above, note that this whole movie unfurled without a kidnapping or fried frog in sight, but only because the whole country is under siege from an autocratic military dictatorship rather than a scourge of corrupt politicians and kidnapping-for-profit criminal thugs.

    Strangely, Hamburger's soccer metaphor gets turned on its head at the end of the movie. Irony? Another layer? Or just part of the movie that doesn't conform to a simple, stumbled-upon talking point? I thought about calling Hamburger and asking him, but nobody likes a wiseass.

    When the metaphorical army arrives in Michel's neighborhood and starts dragging young men out of their union offices in São Paulo, clubbing them and hurling them into vans while the boy's parents are in hiding, it occurred to me to wonder whether such scenes are automatically more powerful when filmed in the country where they are supposed to have happened, in the language in which they happened, by victims or the relatives of victims of the evils portrayed. Or, for a subtitle-hating country like America, could such a scene be made more visceral and moving if shot in Hollywood for U.S. consumption? For example, would Der Untergang or The Lives of Others have retained their energy or even gained some, if they had been made, shot for shot, in the U.S. with U.S. actors instead of Germans? Ennio De Concini tried it with xxAlec Guiness playing Hitler but I think we can agree that that didn't work as well as Bruno Ganz doing it. Being a cinema snob, I would say without cavil that it is intuitively obvious that the Brazilian version of the coup or the German version of Hitler's last days cannot fail to have an innate power, if well enough done, that a U.S. version could never match. But hold on. Summer Palace provides a dramatic take on Tiananmen Square and the events there in 1989, yet I've heard plenty of squawking (from round eyes) about its failure to do justice to that historic conflict. Would a movie about Tiananmen, made along the lines of The Last Emperor, fare better in the U.S? Could Gettysburg withstand a transfer to Japan; if Kurosawa made it, might it even improve in the eyes of the Japanese? Or in the eyes of American viewers as well? How to assign metrics to questions like these? It's easy to just say that the better the filmmaker, the better the film, for all informed viewers of taste. Do the French still love Jerry Lewis? Are Hollywood blockbusters still the biggest grossers all around the world? And children in movies - does the fact that the child is native to a country foreign to the viewer and speaks a foreign language have any effect one way or the other on that viewer? Rather than approaching these questions from first principles, maybe the thing to do is to evaluate a hundred movies or so, make a call on each, and examine the results for trends.

    And speaking of children, how do they learn to act so well? Or isn't learning involved? Teens act in high-school drama classes and plays - they're learning something there, I guess. They act in community theater, especially in locations where drama in the schools is being cut. Adults go to drama school, but often act badly in films anyway. And yet I see movie after movie in which children act just fine (Mother of Mine, Wondrous Oblivion, Birth, Kabluey (where the kids are caricatures, but good caricatures.) On the other hand, that kid in The Dick Van Dyke Show... ouch.). Is aging an antidote to natural inborn talent? As we grow up, do we lose our ability to act? Or are these children, who seem to be acting so well, actually not doing much at all? In TYMPWOV, is the boy mostly just running around, looking upset, and playing with his tabletop soccer set, or is he interacting with others and... well, acting. I called the Stella Adler School in Manhattan to ask these questions, but the woman I spoke to told me that the youngest students they enroll are 14-year-olds (eight Saturday classes from 10 to 6, $800. No waiting list.) I asked the woman if the under-14s I see in the movies have been trained, or if whatever they show is just natural ability. She could only surmise. I asked if the Stella Adler Saturday classes have produced some success stories; she said yes, but didn't name anybody I've heard of. She didn't have much else to say about younger children and their appearances in movies, so I called a school out in the Valley (Sherman Oaks) which takes kids as young as 8. Sherman Oaks is up the 405 from Santa Monica, just over the hills from Hollywood. The fellow I spoke to told me flatly that every young person onscreen today has taken classes. He listed graduates from his school now appearing in Desperate Housewives, Everyone Hates Chris, etc., etc. (Classes from 10 to noon on Saturdays.) Agents and casting directors visit frequently, nominally as "class assistants," but actually trolling for talent; or maybe just trying to make a living. For example:

    ****For Young actors:
    Howard Meltzer
    Hannah Montana Casting Director
    TV Intensive - Saturday, October 4th

    In each class session, the children work on a scene. In addition, there is instruction in preparation, auditioning, so forth. Camps and career-placement services are available. I asked the fellow whether children start out with talent and then lose it, or whether talent is distributed among children in the same proportion as among adults, and if so, what the classes might add to that. According to him, we're all natural-born actors. As children, we play-act all the time, but as we age, we forget how much fun that acting can be. Acting classes, like organized sports, are just a modern way of letting children continue to have fun. And just as you won't be playing in the NFL or NBA unless you associate yourself with an organized program, just so you won't break into Hollywood without connections. Plus, I'm now getting casting calls for some reason.

    Hamburger claims to have auditioned more than a thousand children looking for his stars in TYMPWOV. When he found the boy and girl that he wanted for the leads, Michel Joelsas and Daniela Piepszyk, he changed the script to fit them. Joelsas had never acted in a movie before (like Magaly Solier in Madeinusa, who had never even been in a movie theater when Claudia Llosa made her the lead in her movie). Hamburger says that Joelsas had talent and other characteristics of his personality that helped him to compose the character, such as "his shyness, his introspection, his curiosity about life, and his strength." And his "intelligence and a sense of observation. And he had strong charisma. He's also got a certain shyness and an inner strength." Hamburger introduced all the children in his movie slowly to the characters that they were to play, perhaps Mike Leigh-like. There was improvisation. None of the kids saw a script during the shooting of the movie. So no acting class there, unless you count Hamburger's direction; TYMPWOV argues for inborn talent, but only in one in a thousand or so. “The way I work with them is the most important element. I treat them as intelligent people. They are not children. They are spiritual, intelligent human beings. What I look for in casting children is charisma and talent, but, more than that, I want smart people. There is a very natural sense - especially the kids with their reactions...We worked a lot to have this very natural feel, but there is a lot of work behind it.” So roll the film of Michel's audition. What the heck did this kid have to do when he came through the door, number 1013, with Hamburger languishing there in his director's chair, in order to get picked boss boy? Bark like a dog? I coulda been a contender? Put on blackface, fall to his knees, and sing Mammy? We'll never know. Now my niece - those auditions are brutal. She crawls on her belly like a reptile. They badger her about her tattoos. Surely there were tattoos in Shakespeare's time, weren't there, even if they weren't coupling ferrets over You Suck! in red and green on her shoulder blades?

    When I say that the kids were fine in the movie, I just mean that I watched the movie and never found myself thinking, "This kid is acting." What they were actually doing onscreen, I wasn't exactly paying attention to. Sometimes in a movie I do think about what the child is up to: when Cameron Bright gets into the bath with a naked Nicole Kidman in Birth, I found myself speculating about how that was accomplished without breaking any laws. When Dylan Baker has a talk with his son in Happiness, about Baker's pedophilia and his abuse of the boy's sleepover friend the night before, I knew in advance that Baker was actually talking to the air and his son's reaction shots were filmed later. But in general, I don't sit watching for signs that actors are acting, child or otherwise. Mary Badham and Phillip Alford in To Kill a Mockingbird? How much were they given to do? Can't remember. Scout narrates the movie, but as an adult. Are kids mostly asked to just look worried, or angry, or confused? How often does a kid have to laugh in a movie? What's the story on kid monologs? 726,000 Google hits for "kid monologs," including the following from Henry V:

    BOY: As young as I am, I have observed these three swashers. I am boy to all three; but all three, though they would serve me, could not be man to me; for indeed three such antics do not amount to a man. For Bardolph, he is white-livered and red-faced; by the means whereof 'a faces it out, but fights not. For Pistol, he hath a killing tongue and a quiet sword; by the means whereof 'a breaks word and keeps whole weapons. For Nym, he hath heard that men of few words are the best men, and therefore he scorns to say his prayers, lest 'a should be thought a coward; but his few bad words are matched with as few good deeds, for 'a never broke any man's head but his own, and that was against a post when he was drunk. They will steal anything, and call it purchase. Bardolph stole a lute-case, bore it twelve leagues, and sold it for three halfpence. Nym and Bardolph are sworn brothers in filching, and in Calais they stole a fire-shovel. I knew by that piece of service the men would carry coals. They would have me as familiar with men's pockets as their gloves or handkerchers; which makes much against my manhood, if I should take from another's pocket to put into mine; for it is plain pocketing up of wrongs. I must leave them and seek some better service. Their villainy goes against my weak stomach, and therefore I must cast it up.

    Wow. Maybe Michel laid that one on Hamburger.

    When I think of "bad acting," am I just reacting to bad line readings? In Son of Rambow, the boys have a lot to say and every once in a while I'd raise an eyebrow. In TYMPWOV, Joelsas and Peipszyk and the other kids are required to show their chops as follows:

    First twenty-five minutes: Michel (Joelsas) is the only child in the first quarter of the movie, except for a brief interaction with Hanna (Piepszyk). He plays by himself, asks his parents questions, looks out the car window at the big city and, by the way, narrates the film creditably. Sustains hugs from his parents. (As a child, I was hugged by a woman in a play once and I had to stand there and take it with a smile.) This is a good-looking young man. The camera loves him. So he walks, runs, waits, frowns at strange food, pisses in a flowerpot. It all looks real to me. I guess that's acting.

    Second twenty-five minutes: Michel gets slapped, runs away, cooks in the kitchen, kills time around the house. Now some face time with Hanna - mild dialog - but since I don't speak Portuguese, how can I evaluate their line readings? Rats. (And by the way, watching the movie, I mostly couldn't distinguish Portuguese from Yiddish; be nice if the subtitles would indicate which was being spoken - and ditto for Swedish and Finnish in Mother of Mine). At 39 minutes (out of 100), Michel meets Hanna's friends, three boys. They refer to Michel as the goy. Ten minutes of ensemble child acting; all five seem a little stiff, but they're just meeting each other for the first time, so maybe in real life they would be stiff. Will the stiffness persist? Now Michel settles in with his neighbor, the elderly Shlomo next door, and makes friends throughout the neighborhood. He's not asked to say much by Hamburger, but he does a lot of worrying about his parents, running around the neighborhood, so on. At the halfway point in the film, the World Cup begins.

    Third twenty-five minutes: First World-Cup match with everyone watching; Michel spending time alone again in the apartment; then with a whole crowd of kids - minimal  dialog; back home at the one-hour mark. Second match. Polish Jew, Italian Jew, Greek, African, German Jew, Hamburger really pushing the melting-pot theme. Local soccer game. Narration by boy. He wants to be a goalie. Another World-Cup match (sees first with Shlomo, second at the union, third with the old women. Local kids game with Michel as goalie. Piepszyk gives him a gift in a one-on-one scene with dialog. Michel goes to synagogue.

    Final twenty-five minutes: The kids do an excellent acting job at a bar mitzvah celebration. And then some acting by Joelsas, as he helps a young union member hide from the army and secret police. Emoting, face to face with an adult! Some intense moments. Then more alone time for the boy, now coping with his worries in a more mature way than at the beginning. And the final soccer match, and more perfect-pitch behavior from Joelsas. And drama to wrap up. The boy has charisma, for sure. I believed him, from start to finish, and the other kids too.

    And lest I forget, every time a goal was scored, everybody whooped and waved their arms in the air and I wondered if all the women in Brazil were shaving under their arms in 1970. According to a Brazilian I asked, the answer is yes. Looks come first in Brazil, she told me, and that includes proper underarm maintenance.


  • Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors

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    I'm a film gourmand, not a film gourmet. If it's not The Matrix or Smokin' Aces, somebody needs to take me by the hand and lead me through the movie. Otherwise I'm lighting up and watching something that I can understand. I watched a movie last month, Mon Oncle Antoine, about a boy in a small town out in the woods. It was an allegory. "Allegory is a form of extended metaphor, in which objects, persons, and actions in a narrative, are equated with the meanings that lie outside the narrative itself. The underlying meaning has moral, social, religious, or political significance, and characters are often personifications of abstract ideas as charity, greed, or envy. Thus an allegory is a story with two meanings, a literal meaning and a symbolic meaning." See what I mean? The boy in Mon Oncle had to help somebody pick up a dead body and put it in a coffin: the boy is the populace of Quebec; the dead body is the old repressive government; the coffin is the history books. It's like... it's like... Obama picking up a squirrel carcass in the street and burying it by the flagpole in the back yard.

    So as soon as Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors (aka Wild Horses of Fire (WHOF)) started, I knew that I was going to require guidance of some sort. Because the Janus Films logo came up and I know from long experience that that logo of yesteryear, as with Criterion today, signifies some sort of heavy load in the offing. And also, a subtitle said that the movie would take place in the hoary Carpathians (the Carpathians are shaped like a sickle, with the middle of the blade, the eastern part, being the Ukranian, or hoary, part).  And because the movie then starts with a jew's harp orchestra and a mother with an ax and a man saying "There is no devil in church... only in man." And mustaches right out of Karl's House of Fun ("Jokes, Gags, and the Perfect Bong"). And a man is killed, and then another. Who's who here? What's going on? Ear-piercing folk music rattles me. So I hit the Pause button and consulted my series of pipes. "The tall, thin trees create an exaggerated linearity, a sense of continuity, that provides a paradox to the brevity of their existence, and also symbolizes the eternity of true love.....the pervasive religious images are transfigurations of the purity of love... The color composition suggests emotional incongruence... the film is a testament to the inexorable power of destiny." Does this mean it's an allegory? I checked in with my artisically- and politically-aware friends Ivan (Ukranian) and Igor (Russian). They told me that the director, Sergei Paradjanov (1924-1993), was a trusted regionalist moviemaker (Georgian/Armenian) who quietly praised the glories of the Soviet Union and burlap underwear, but then suddenly unleased WHOF on an unsuspecting Russian Empire in 1964, to the horror of the apparatchiks in the Kremlin, and was lucky that he didn't earn himself an immediate trip to the Gulag on the first string of cattle cars pulling out of the trainyard adjacent to his editing studio. In the years to come, he was accused of incitement to suicide, trafficing in art objects leading to homosexuality, and much more, and did spend fifteen years unable to work and five years in the Gulag. In the end he made three more major films (available boxed by Kino) - The Color of Pomegranates, The Legend of Suram Fortress, and Ashik Kerib. There is a documentary about him, Paradjanov: The Last Spring (1992).

    So I can give a guy a chance, allegory or no allegory, when he's paid a price like that. Such as Ye Lou, who made Suzhou River and got sent off by the Chinese government for two years, came back and made Purple Butterfly and then said, oh what the hell and made "Summer Palace" and shipped it to Cannes without permission, earning another five years of punishment. So watching Summer Palace, I got my head in a benign place. Same with WHOF.

    And the thing about WHOF is that Paradjanov in filming those forgotten ancestors up there in the mountains, decided to go for the wild-fire-horse esthetic. He throws striking image after striking image onto the screen to the accompaniment of that crazed background mountainfolk caterwauling, plus the harps, fifteen-foot shepherdhorns,and bagpipes with their bags evidently taken from the Russian version of an 1850s Hoover. If you don't like what you're looking at, wait a minute because there'll be something else completely different on the screen a minute later and I must say, some of my favorite movie scenes of all time are to be found in WHOF, scenes that I can loop back over again and again - I'm thinking here, for those of you familiar with the movie, of the barge passing in the river, the rain, wind, snow, fire, and big ball of white cheese in the barn, and Palagna starting to unmount from her horse in order to be mounted, but slipping to the ground completely overcome by passion - and that's wearing five layers of wool. Word of advice: don't marry a woman like this unless you're in that top percentile when the wool comes off.

    I should mention that I found a mouldering VHS copy of WHOF at a local library, back behind three Smokey and the Bandits. Strangely, this respected film is hard to find on the DVD shelves, at least where I live. One missing copy is "Claimed Returned," another is just absent from its little box. But several years ago, the spouse at my request picked up a VCR player at Costco, dirt cheap and at least as obscure and forgotten in the big-box store as WHOF seems to be at the library, for just such an occasion as this. The film, squeaking on its reels, white bands of tape static cutting through it like lightening, might have been produced in the very Carpathians that it features. The primitive here isn't just the story depicted, but the film style itself. Made not in the 60s, it almost seems, but back in the past that it is recording, with a camera made out of wood and rock. Why so rough? Paradjanov's movies don't all present this way. So it occured to me that in WHOF he decided to go stylisticly rustic and having so decided, adopted a type of method directing. That is, he went native behind the camera. Suppose, for example, that you (I'm talking to you. Thanks for reading this far.) decided to make a film about a mentally challenged person, and you included in your directorial esthetic the feeling that you yourself, behind the camera, were somehow in fact mentally challenged. Or suppose that you're making a western and you let fly a stream of tobacco juice from your director's perch, into the frame, every so often. Paradjanov acts like a filmmaker hired by the tribe to record its weddings and funerals and herding techniques (which he does), while hiding his camera in a sheep blind.

    And speaking of passion, this is the one with Tatyana Bestayeva nude in the great outdoors, who, when she's approached by a local herdsman stunned by what he is seeing, rather than shrinking away from him, says "Never seen a woman?" "Not like you," he replies, and I believe him. When she hooks up with the local sorcerer, a tree bursts into flame. That's sex!

    When I watched "10 Canoes," I happened to know something in advance about the Tiwi culture of Northern Australia; this made all the difference in understanding and appreciating the movie. On the other hand, with "Summer Palace" and "Drifters," I had the distinct feeling that many subtleties of Chinese culture were eluding me completely. Such was undoubtedly also the case with WHOF. One sees but perhaps does not understand. No matter. There are the images. I thought northern Canada was cold, but now this. Christmas costume frolics with the hero dressed as Death. Snap-brim fedoras in households with a calf under the dinner table. Rain that appears to come down on the heroine's head from a hose. YouTube provides various clips. The online 5.5GB version features brilliant color and extras that include a documentary about Paradjanov's friendship with Tarkovsky. And just once, when we get the firing into the air with rifles, I'd like to chunks of lead fall back and conk somebody on the noggin.


  • A week's worth of movies

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    Persepolis  (2007)

    Married Life  (2008)

    Any movie that puts a human face on Iran and the Iranian people is a good thing. Plus, my dentist is Iranian. So is my congressperson, come to think of it. Persepolis covers the history of the country from the fall of the Shah up to a while ago.

    They don't make movies like Married Life anymore; only, this time, they did.

    The thing I like about Scorpian King 2 is that the hero carries his sword in a leather scabbard on his back and every time that he draws it, it makes a metallic rasping sound - forget the leather -  followed by a ringing twang!

    I'll probably never take the time to write about The Life Before Her Eyes (2008), but I see 500 movies a year and maybe one out of the 500 affects me like this one did. A  story that gets it just right, for me.

    Watched The Darwin Awards (2006) again. Was entertained all the way through, same as the first time. I wonder if this film is developing a following; it deserves one. Winona and Fiennes have some chemistry.

    My Canadian friend Matt the Movie Watcher assigned me Mon Oncle Antoine (1971) over on the Filmspotting Boards. The Criterion version that I watched is immaculate. Set in the 1940s, this naturalistic (till the director starts riffing) film of country life in Quebec is fresh enough to have been made yesterday. The Canadian National Film Board helped with its production; correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that this might have been the first major example of Quebecois film. The NFB has funded quite a few works that feature drama in lesser-known areas of Canada and without it, film in Quebec might never have got off the ground. I grew up in a small rural town in the late 40s and early 50s and instantly related to the setting and characters in this movie. It was filmed in Black Lake City and at the Thetford asbestos mines in Québec.

    Mon Oncle Antoine is a milestone film, most highly thought of. Be interesting to see if it's mentioned on the Filmspotting top-Canadian-film lists this week.

    I can recommend the movie without reservation to anyone interested in a quiet, closely-observed visit to a small town in the country in the 40s, featuring a variety of interesting characters making a hard life seem a little easier that it probably is - especially since the town is dominated by an open-pit asbestos mine that coats everything, including the lungs of the residents, with carcinogenic dust.

    Having said that, it strikes me that the director, Claude Jutra, who here adapted a short story for the screen and directed the movie, turned his back on the possibility of making a classic film, ending up with a very good movie instead. I've just posted a review elsewhere of "Mother of Mine," and I had the same thought about the director of that film, Klaus Härö. In both cases, the director seems not to trust the tremendous power of the basic story that he is dealing with and instead tacks on an unnecessary melodramatic narrative that entertains us in the moment but can't stand up to scrutiny later, relegating both films to the category of rural picaresque. Jutra might well have worked from a checklist here that includes a teenager breathing his last, a journey over unpaved roads with a hard-to-manage coffin (when "As I Lay Dying" was published, this trope should have been moved to the Pantheon and left alone there), a teen's first look at the adult female rack and I'm not talking about Bambi's mother here, so forth. A documentary about Jutra is included and it's as interesting as the film itself. A life of struggle to make movies by a gifted man with money woes. Puts me in mind of Orson Welles.

    I also seem to be developing an aversion to characters who stare straight ahead without speaking, leaving us to divine their thoughts and relieving the author of the responsibility of writing intelligent and original dialog for them. Jacques Gagnon, who plays a young man whose final sudden coming of age is compressed into the confines of a day or so, underacts in a way that perhaps mimics the frozen silent wastes of those great northern forests up there, which will probably be filling up with refugee polar bears any day now.

    And Bravo! to Olivette Thibault, who gets her ashes hauled here at the age of 57 by a youngish Jutra himself.

    Mon Oncle Antoine is filled with interesting characters and interesting moments, entertains in its every frame, and is a gem indeed. Thanks to Matt for choosing it for me!


  • You Can't Go Home Again (Mother of Mine)

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful. [What do you think?]
    Under discussion:

    Birth  (2004)

    Mother of Mine  (2005)

    Chaos Theory  (2008)

    Flawless  (2008)

    In my capacity as a Spout Maven, I've reviewed a number of films distributed by Film Movement, including Mother of Mine, the movie under discussion here, A Peck on the Cheek, Be With Me, and Drifters. The promotional material included with the DVDs of these movies and the introductions on the disks themselves describe Film Movement as a film-of-the-month subscription club. Members receive award-winning foreign films in early release, by mail, "to keep," once a month. The films can later be found at Netflix, Blockbuster, or your local library. A nifty idea for some few film buffs, but every time that I hear about this club, I worry about its health and survivability. What kind of market can there be for a little club like this? How long can a company like Film Movement survive, if it relies upon a subscription base that is bound to be relatively small?


    Visiting the company's website, I saw that Film Movement now also acts as a film distributor, with theatrical, institutional, television, DVD, rental, retail, wholesale, in-flight, and emerging-channel segments. Larry Meistrich, who founded the company as a film club in 2001, has since moved on. I contacted Film Movement to ask about their move into distribution and how it now compared, revenue-wise, with the subscription side of the business. After some back and forth, the president of the company, Adley Gartenstein, was kind enough to update me on Film Movement's current direction. His response, in part: "The original plan was to be a DVD-of-the-month club. Now we pride ourselves on being a full-service North American distribution company with many creative and successful windows of exploitation. We still have a DVD of the month which gets an exclusive window, often before the theatrical. We think of it as a private preview club.  But it is the smallest revenue generator for us. It is still important to us and we feel very devoted to our loyal members, but we have over the last two years put a lot of resources into building our theatrical distribution and our VOD channel.  I am proud to say we have had our greatest box office success with our recent theatrical releases, and we launched a VOD channel called Film Festival on Demand which is available in approximately 9 million homes and we expect it to grow to 18 million during 2009." So I can enjoy watching and reviewing their films without feeling concern for them.

    Meanwhile, Äideistä parhain (Mother of Mine) is a well-made Finnish film that I enjoyed and that I can recommend. Solidly acted and beautifully shot around Turku, Finland and Ystad, Skåne, on the southern coast of Sweden, the movie tells the tale of a boy taken from his mother during World War II, who must adjust to a new family in a neutral country but then return home, fundamentally altered by his experience.

    The boy Eero (Topi Majaniemi) is called upon to look concerned, angry, pensive, and occasionally to ask a question or blurt out a passionate protest, and does it all well. I watched Birth the other night and Cameron Bright, another ten-year-old actor, comports himself well in the same way, including his time in the bathtub with Nicole Kidman. The dialog in Mother of Mine is limited, the expressions heartfelt. Eero's Swedish foster parents, Signe and Hjalmar (Maria Lundqvist and Michael Nyqvist) made me want to go live on the farm, too. I've got a soft spot for movie dads who stand up straight, square their shoulders, and with great sympathy say and do the right thing when it isn't easy to. Atticus Finch comes to mind. In my younger days I had a good friend who was a farmer. He didn't say much, but he was as solid as a rock and when he spoke, he meant what he said and he always made sense. Michael Nyqvist in this film reminds me of him.

    Eero's mom, Kirsti, played by Marjaana Maijala, provides the Finnish glamour. Esko Salminen and Aino-Maija Tikkanen, Eero and Kirsti in their twilight years, both seem sufficiently worn down by life to contrast dramatically with their younger selves. And what is it about Scandanavian husbands and wives arguing with each other? Have we been trained by Bergman to just settle back and enjoy it as the two of them go back and forth in that Scandanavian tongue while outside their mossy-roofed houses the wind bends the grass in waves on the förtöja?

    It says here that the movie is quite different from the book it was based upon. Or does it say that? Sample Google translation to English of Swedish webpages on the subject:

    "Härö not, in any case would like to condemn other people more closely than themselves. Haluaisin olla rmollisempi mutta toisaalta myös rohkeampi sanomaan stop silloin, kun tiedän, että jokin asia on väärin. "I would like to have Merciful but on the other bolder also say stop, when I know that one of asia is wrong. Haluaisin astua rohkeammin heikkojen puolelle.» I would like to enter braver the weak side."

    He's just sayin. The director Härö is in his thirties, whereas the author of Äideistä parhain, Heikki Hietamies, was born in 1933 and would have been the age of Eero during the Russian/Finnish conflict. Hietamies is known to include considerable autobiographical material in his fiction.

    And finally, this is a golden age for cinematographers. Having just admired Raúl Pérez Ureta's work in Madeinusa, I got to feast my eyes on Jarkko T. Laineen's Skåne. Some of these movies are so good-looking, it's worth putting up with any other problems in them just to take in the views.

    One question I did have: The boy goes from Finland to Sweden. He has to learn Swedish, which probably wasn't easy, as Finish is not an Indo-European tongue and completely unrelated to Swedish. There is a great deal of correspondence by letter in the movie - writing letters, reading letters, reading the letters out loud, so forth, shots of the letters lying around. Did Kirsti write in Finnish? If so, how could Signe read them as she did (the movie made clear that she didn't speak or understand Finish). Likewise with letters from Signe to Kirsti. I'm guessing that Härö skated over this one.

    This concludes my review of Mother of Mine. In what follows, I speculate about why the director, Klaus Härö, made some of the choices that he did as he shot and cut together the movie.

    Note: The movie features a busy flock of Skåne geese. These good-natured birds have lived in southern Sweden since the Stone Age and I was all awww at the sight of the notable fowl until while chatting with a relative from Ystad, I learned that, at least for him, the main function of the Skåne goose is to act as centerpiece at the family's annual Martinmas dinner.

    I was listening to a movie podcast the other day and one of the hosts on it opined in passing that there has never been a movie with bookends that wouldn't have been better without them. (Bookends are single scenes at the beginning and end of a movie that together serve as a framing device for the narrative, providing context or serving a variety of other dramatic and esthetic purposes.) This caught my ear for two reasons: I had just watched Flawless, an ok though silly movie that uses bookends to first misdirect and then uplift the viewer, effectively, I thought; and Chaos Theory, the bookends for which just provide extra time to enjoy the happy ending; and somewhere recently I heard or read that Mother of Mine itself included bookends. As I listened to the podcast, I imagined myself on it, called upon to defend the Mother-of-Mine bookends. Later while actually watching the movie, I discovered that while bookends are present, I was interested in all of the movie's non-sequential scenes, not just those at start and finish. I ended up noting all of Härö's chronological editing choices and herewith speculate on why he made them - why he arranged scenes in the order that he did. Was he shuffling clips in time to mask a lack of dramatic material, or to reset expectations in the narrative arc, or infuse the film with artificial nostalgia, or perhaps gin up a little auteur before releasing his small Finnish film into the Eurocinema market?

    *****SPOILERS ALERT: Various plot points are discussed below, in detail.*****

    First, the bookends:

    An onscreen notice informs us that during Finnish/Russian hostilities at the beginning of World War II, 70,000 children were sent from Finland to safety in non-combatant countries, most to Sweden. Then, the movie begins with Eero the boy standing in the woods, staring up at the stars at night. We hear him, voice over, now sixty, saying "Mother, do you still remember how it all began? How the war began?" Russian bombers approach and bombs fall. (At first impact the boy is startled and jumps so convincingly that the director might have fired off a gun right behind him on the set.) The boy runs to his mother and they cling to each other outside their home. Cut to present day for the opening bookend. Eero at sixty brings his mother a birthday present, late. It is clear that they are estranged and have been so for a long time. He tells her that he's been to a woman's funeral in Sweden. Quick cut back to his visit to a farm in Sweden for the funeral. We understand that he spent time there as a boy and that he had a strong bond to the woman who has died; his mother comments about this in voiceover. Härö, the director, is telling us immediately that war came, that mother and son survived it, but that something happened in Sweden to destroy the bond between them - the bond dramatized as they held each other during the bombing raid. Given the notice at the beginning about war children and this awkward moment between the two adults, the theme of the movie is announced: sending the children to safety was not to be all good. The leading bookend ends with a cut back to a time when mother, father, and boy were still together and happy.

    The movie ends with a trailing bookend, again mother and son: the old Eero, touching his mother's arm as he leaves her, signifying reestablished emotional contact after a lifetime, makes his way outside to look up again at the stars, and the scene fades into the original image of him as a boy looking up.

    In my last review, I wondered why some movies are better the second time around. One reason, or so I supposed, was that in some cases on second viewing you aren't waiting for something bad to happen when nothing bad is going to happen. You know what's coming and what's not coming and can spend your time enjoying the movie scene by scene, without, for example, worrying that someone is going to get killed at any moment. One way that a director can help the viewer get a leg up on such enjoyment the first time around rather than the second, is to serve notice up front of what to expect. Such might be the case with the director of Mother of Mine. Before the movie begins, he posts the notice about war children. Then he shows us the child of interest and informs us with the bookends that Eero and his mother both will survive the war and live out their lives. And so, with this introduction, we know in advance that the boy and his mother and his temporary alternate mother are all going to live through the war, that he will develop a bond with the alternate mother, and that he will become estranged from his mother. Perhaps this presages some trauma to him that will cause this fifty-year emotional separation from her. We do know that no resolution of their problems will come when he is young; whatever happened back then, it has taken the man fifty years to approach his mother with reconciliation in mind. In other words, the bookends are not entirely volitional for the director. He can start with a bookend or, at the end of the movie, he's going to have to do a "fifty years later..." jump to get to this resolution. The other, untaken, option would have been for mother and son to settle up while they were both still young. But with the bookends, as viewers we are invited to experience the unfolding film as one instance of the lasting bad effects of war on a child. Or so we imagine.

    And now, the other flashback and flashforward cuts in the movie and my speculations about them:

    CUT: Back to Eero's happy family time before the bombs fall. Having set the context, the director returns to the beginning of the story and the movie now proceeds sequentially in time. Father leaves to fight. Jump ahead to news that father is dead. Jump ahead from there to Eero being shipped out to Sweden. The movie moves forward steadily now in time, with no flashforwards and only three flashbacks to Finland that serve to emphasize how much Eero misses his mother and worries about her, and how hard it is to get a straight answer out of her about the dangers ahead. These come one-quarter, one-half, and three-quarters through the movie.

    Up to this point, the movie has fleshed out its central thesis with a variety of dramatic incidents, that thesis being, again, that in the fog of war, the adults try to shield the children from physical and psychological harm, in this case by (a) removing them to a distant safe place and (b) refusing to share with them any meaningful details about the actual situation at hand. Kirsti (the boy Eero's mom) and his dad (before his death) tell Eero only that everything will soon be fine and as before. However, children hear things. Eero hears of the Russian bombing of Helsinki. He hears that his mother is working for the Nazis. His overriding concern for his mother interferes with him forming any sort of connection with his new foster mother, Signe. The adults' refusal to share information with him is only exacerbated by what he does manage to learn on his own.

    A word on war children: The term can refer to children forced to serve in the army during a war (widespread in Somalia), children left behind when their soldier fathers go home (children of Viet Nam fathered by American soldiers; children of Finland fathered by Nazis), or children displaced by war, like those in England (the Narnia books), Finland, and Germany. The first of the Finnish children sent to safety in other countries (mostly to Sweden) left during the Winter War between Finland and Russia (30 November 1939 to 13 March 1940). At that time, most believed that Russia would easily invest Finland. Finnish parents feared the coming Russians and their mistreatment of women and children. In the event, Russia took Karelia and then the struggle bogged down and a truce was agreed. After an interim, Finland signed a pact with Germany, Great Britain declared war against Finland (but didn't do much fighting there), and with Germany's assistance, Finland took back Kerelia. This second phase of their war with Russia the Finns named the Continuation War (25 June 1941 to 19 September 1944). Russia and Germany saw it simply as part of the struggle against each other. Most of the children sent out of the country left as their parents returned to Karelia to rebuild. Finland later fought Germany in Lapland. Between 60,000 and 80,000 children were moved out of Finland during these periods of conflict, most during the Continuation War. (If the children were all as much trouble as Eero, 80,000 seems like an awful large number.) 20% never returned (about 15,000), because they had no family to return to, or because of concerns that Russia wasn't finished with the country, or because the Finnish economy lay in ruins. Of those who did return, a large number went back to Sweden during Finland's economic doldrums and Sweden's hot economy of the 1950s and 1960s. Studies conducted later suggest that the children who stayed behind in Finland made out better than those who left, psychologically. There were 2,000 civilian casualties in Finland during the war, some of them children, but a much greater number of the war children struggled to adjust once the war ended, part of their problem being that the country was unaware of any such problem. There is a documentary, War Children (Sotalapset)(2003) on the subject. The movie seems a little casual about chronology, but we know for sure that Eero doesn't arrive in Sweden before late 1942, because that's the year on Signe's daughter's gravestone. Yet after Eero talks to his mother over the phone at Christmas dinner, we're given a scene where the Russians bomb Helsinki and to me, the implication was that this was happening for the first time; that bombing occurred in December, 1939.

    To this point, one hour into the movie, the director's use of cuts to jump back and forth in time seem straightforward to me. He sets context at the outset by placing a scene in present time and he uses three flashbacks during his telling of Eero's story to emphasize the impact of events in Skåne on Eero's frame of mind. We have seen Eero grow increasingly concerned about his mother and her welfare, making two attempts to return to Finland, at the risk of his own life. As he tells Signe, he doesn't want his mother to die. But the director now jumps forward into bookend territory again. Why? The immediate impression is that we've reached a point of inflection in the narrative and this jump lets us catch our breath and serves as a semicolon: the boy now will settle in at the farm. The old Eero says to his mother, "You did survive, but I wasn't important to you." Puzzling. Where does this come from? He was obviously important to her, in every scene so far. Or does he mean that she didn't keep him adequately informed? "Do you want me to have a guilty conscience again?" she asks him. "No, Mother. That's exactly what I don't want." "Why didn't you ever talk about it?" his mother asks. Aha. So we now learn, in advance, that after he returns from Sweden, he won't talk to his mother about his experiences there. "I tried but you didn't listen," he says. Hmm. So obviously we don't know what's going on here. The conversation is essentially a foreshadowing. "Not true," Kirsti says. "I would've listened. I'm your mother." "You just wanted everything to be all right. That's what you wrote me and I never knew how you were doing." "You were only a child. You must understand that. I couldn't burden you with my worries. Why didn't you talk when you came back home?" she asks. "Talk to you?" "Who else?" "Don't you understand? You weren't my mother anymore." So. Foreshadowing. We've already seen that Eero is constantly frustrated in his need to know how his mother is doing back in Finland. Her failure to be forthcoming is the cause of what is to come, it seems. We'll now see how his mother's refusal to share her situation with him culminates in his rejecting her as his mother and taking Signe to replace her.

    Why this jump to what seems to be bookmark 1b? Why foreshadow Eero's apparently upcoming lifelong change of allegiance to Signe? Is this break in the nature of an intermission plus recapitulation? Or is the director unsure of his case and arguing for it in advance? Will Eero's concerns for his mother simply ebb now? Has he maintained his relationship with Signe up to the present day? (Recall that he's just come from her funeral.) Why come to his mother now to discuss this after fifty years of silence? Is Härö just reminding us that we're vectored in the end to this elderly couple, so that we don't come to the end of the movie and think "Oh, yeah, forgot about this part" when we get there? The answer is that Härö has a couple of revelations in store for us and needs more time to set them up than the end of the film allows, but watching the movie in real time, my reaction was "Huh?" All signs up till then pointed to a simple but powerful human drama, told without artifice. So that perhaps here Härö here is simply articulating what he has been showing heretofore - that Kirsti chose the wrong path in addressing the concerns of the child by not talking/sharing frankly enough with him. This should be the essence of the movie. Eero here implies that it is the essence, that because his mother would never share the truth with him, he finally transferred his emotional attachment to Signe (who, ironically, shared even less with him than his mother did, in the end). The director, however, did not trust this human truth enough to let it carry the movie, even though he showcases it here. Instead, in what follows he extends the lack of communication between adult and child into the realm of soap opera, ruining the film's chances for emotional greatness. It turns out, as we come to see, that Eero isn't talking as much about his mother's refusal to share up until this point in the narrative, as about a misapprehension that he acquires later on. Given that fact, the dialog in this interlude was a real head-scratcher. Quite a bit of plot machinery, relatively speaking, will be required to resolve it while I, as a simple viewer watching it, was still back on the farm with Eero recovering from his frantic attempts to escape.

    The movie proceeds, with Signe and Hjalmar learning that Kirsti has a German lover; Kirsti asks them to keep it a secret and raise her boy. Eero learns of this. After all his worry, he now learns that his mother doesn't want him back. He is accepted into the Jönsson family. Flash forward to see him at Signe's funeral; this cut is used in the same way as the three flashbacks in the first half of the movie - to accentuate his feelings and experiences when young, in this case by contrasting them with his grief at Signe's death.Back to his happy life with his new family. Signe swears that she'll never let him go. The war ends.  A letter comes from Kirsti; she's changed her mind. Signe doesn't tell Eero. She struggles to keep him, but can't. He returns to Finland, unhappily.

    And so, now, one-and-a-half hours into the movie, in the final less-than-ten-minutes of the boy's narrative, Härö has one last opportunity to dramatize the effect of the war and Eero's separation from his mother. Eero arrives in Finland not knowing that his mother wants him back and not knowing that Signe only let him go because Kirsti did want him so badly. This information has been withheld from him. As far as he's concerned, an indifferent mom ordered him back and a promise-breaking Signe made him go. If the director had trusted the simple power of the situation, he could have let Signe tell the boy that his mother wanted him, and then they could have both dealt with their conflicting emotions, and Eero and Kirsti could have done the same. Or Härö could have let Signe withhold that information but then let mother and son have it out in Finland, with all revealed and dealt with at that end. But such would lead to reconciliation and healing and would undermine the whole point of the movie: that war children in many cases concluded their escape from war in a permanently damaged condition. Thus, the boy must refuse to talk to his mother and she must dither and let him remain silent, even though most moms at this point would force the child to discuss the situation presenting us with the scene we want to see and deserve to see without having to wait for a fifty-year jump for it to arrive, drained of its power by the decrepitude of the protagonists - the scene that could raise this film above melodrama. Eero confronting his mother with the fact that he knows about her lover. How could she be unfaithful to the memory of his father like that? How could she ask Signe to keep him if she truly loved him? And how could Signe, who also claimed to love him, now unaccountably send him back like this? The rage and grief of a damaged young soul, bared.

    But no. Härö goes so badly wrong from the moment that Eero steps off the boat, back in Finland, if not already by having Signe stay mum. Härö turns his back on a grand dramatic opportunity. Instead, he sticks with the machinery of melodrama, which dictates that there are things that Eero must know and other things that he must not know. In the course of the movie, he must learn that his mother is in Helsinki, not at home; that she's with a German; that she doesn't want him back; that Signe wants him desperately and swears never to give him up. He must not know that his mother gives up the German for him and tells Signe so.

    The children descend from the boat into the arms of their loving parents, with only Eero left to wait on the dock, isolated, for his mother's late arrival. None of the other children demonstrate any visible damage, as Eero does. Why his mother's late arrival?  No reason. It's a cheap melodramatic) beat, not meant to show that she is uncaring or unloving or irresponsible, but to mislead Eero into thinking that she doesn't care enough to show up on time. It also suggests to the viewer that the mother is feckless, whereas her real faults in the movie have been, first, to try and protect her son by reassuring him in the face of evidence and fears to the contrary that he has nothing to worry about, when instead she needed to share more with him  a fault that many parents would naturally fall prey to, and which might be part of an argument for not separating the family in the first place - and second, to fall in love while he is away and briefly consider giving him up - something that she then completely abjures, sacrificing her love for Jurgen instead of that for her son. So Härö does her a great disservice in the return scene, having her hustle in late for the return of her son, so as to unnecessarily ratchet up Eero's alienation another notch. (And by the way, the smooth return of the other children, with only Eero having a problem as a consequence of the knowledge denied him, undercuts the director's focus on the general damage incurred by the children because of their government's policies.)

    At any rate, Eero has nothing to say to his mother on his return, but instead of staying with this while his mother pursues it, we jump ahead an unspecified number of days to a knock at their apartment door. A letter arrives from Sweden as his mother prepares for a job interview. Eero answers the door. The postman knocks to deliver this letter? Eero tells him that Kirsti doesn't live there anymore. The postman is mildly surprised but takes the ten-year-old's word for it and mosies off, letter in hand. "Who was it?" Eero's mother asks. He doesn't answer, so as not to spoil the plot. "Eero," his mother says, conveniently letting that go. "All the bad things are over. Mother is here now." So much for confrontation. We're just riding along on the missing information here. The letter sent back, we learn later, contains an explanation from Signe of why she hadn't told Eero that his mother wanted him back, plus his mother's original letter saying how much she loved him and wanted him back. The rigors of world war and their lifelong impact on a mother and child have here been reduced to Eero answering the door instead of his mother and sending an acquiescent postman on his way. Did Signe try again? We presume not. Did Kirsti ever write to her? We presume not. Did the two exchange xmas cards? Guess not.

    <CUT> In the present, the old Eero says, "I could never believe what you said. I thought you'd disappear at any moment. I felt I could lose everything at any moment. This," he shows her the letter he caused to be sent back, "Signe had always wanted to give me. She'd always hoped I'd get them. Or we. They came with the funeral invitation." His mother has never known that Signe's letter existed, or that Signe had never shown her (Kirsti's) letter to Eero.

    <CUT> Now he's back weeping in the Skåne graveyard. and he reads the two letters. (As I mentioned above, presumably one letter is in Finnish and the other in Swedish. How did that work? We get glimpses of the pages but I couldn't tell if this was so. Signe didn't speak Finnish and I don't imagine she read it either. Did Kirsti have her letters translated before sending? Ditto Signe? Just wondering.) The director is cutting around here to mask the simplicity of his plotting.

    Bear with me now as Härö makes his final, climatic run at our hearts. He's locked in to the final cuts, forced to spin out the reveal. The cuts are dictated to him by his initial lack of confidence in the power of his basic story idea. To repeat myself: wanting to make his point that the trauma of relocation can have, and did have, a lifelong negative effect on many of the children "saved," he's got to pay for earlier turning to the shopworn and fundamentally dishonest device of denying his protagonist necessary knowledge, not once but many times throughout the movie, instead of relying on truth in life and film, to propel the narrative forward. So that, the true climatic moments of "Mother of Mine" having been passed by, their power unrealized, moments used as no more than plot highlights, Härö is constrained to juggle the elements of what is really just coda material as he winds up the clockwork that he hopes, unrealistically, will trigger that release of powerful emotion in our breasts that he... How many metaphors have I mixed here? Sorry, I lost control there for a second.

    Or, even worse, he had these cuts in mind from the beginning - this is the payoff that he wants - and he employed his gimmicks specifically to get us here.

    So.

    Eero stands weeping in the Skåne graveyard and reads Signe's letter, <CUT> as we see her standing, looking like she did back when she wrote it, staring out to sea, and as she tells his mom to show him her (Kirsti's) letter, and that she (Signe) was wrong not to show it to him when it came (although actually he probably heard Signe and Hjalmar arguing about it, but pretended that he didn't), but that she loved him and didn't hink that Kirsti did, although later she came to her senses about that, after Eero was gone, and wrote this letter. Signe faces the camera. "Please, Kirsti, let him read your letter so he'll know." (We presume that she's sent the letter back with her own.) "And give up any hope of an Oscar."

    <CUT> In the graveyard Eero puts the letter away and reads his mother's. "Dear Signe. There is peace now in Finland, which is a huge relief to us all. Hans-Jurgen returned to Germany without me."

    <CUT> The elderly mother Kirsti, who wrote the all-important returned unshared letter, is now shown continuing to read it aloud as Eero listens. "The German loves me more than anything and I love him, but I have to ask myself whom I love the most?" 

    <CUT> Cut to Eero a week earlier, back in Skåne, staring out to sea after having just read this himself. Kirsti continues, voice-over, "I must've been blind and insane. How could I even consider leaving my own child? I may have to carry this guilt for the rest of my life."

    <CUT> Now she's young again, looking out at us. "But I ask of you, thankful for all that you've done, to send me my beloved son as soon as possible. And you're right. This sort of thing blasts any Oscar hopes for us both."

    <CUT> Back to the old Kirsti, reading. She and Eero eye each other. "60 years. a lifetime." "It sounds ridiculous, but somehow it feels that a part of us has been left there in Skåne. That's where I decided never to miss you," Eero says.

    I'm sitting on the couch regretting that last toke as I try to keep all this straight.

    "But you did," Kirsti says. "I did, Mother," Eero says. "Now I understand it." Huh? Understands what? That as a child he had known the part about the German and Kirsti asking Signe to take care of him, but not the part about Kirsti asking Signe to please send him back, after which Signe made him go home even, as he thought, Kirsti didn't want him? Kirsti, Signe, and Eero are all just culpable enough, in just the right order, to replace a world war's blame with their own.

    Onscreen, mother and son touch. They're reconciled after fifty empty years, but I'm not. I'm still reeling from the sequence of rapid cuts, back then and now, images of the pensive trio, all perhaps wondering, like I was on the couch, HOW THEY AVOIDED TALKING ABOUT THIS FOR HALF A CENTURY. He never went back to Skåne? He never asked his mother why Signe sent him back if she, his mother, wanted to go with the German? But there is no point in asking questions like this because the whole narrative is artifice.

    These is a deep irony in this movie. Two mothers, one blood and one surrogate, love Eero. As a consequence of their own weaknesses, their actions taken together rob him of the ability to trust either of them. Only at the age of 60 does he come to fully understand this. Thus love, rather than hate or indifference, wounds him worst in the war. Love and a clunky script. See, if THIS - the letters - caused the problem, then it's no wonder all the other kids ran to their parents when they got off the boat in Finland. All this talk in Finland about alienated children - never happened - because the chain of events that we watch causing the problems is so unlikely. Perhaps the director did not trust himself to tell the basic story, with it's raw simplicity. Perhaps he made up his mind early on that the boy, in later life, would finally come to terms with the traumas that he suffered as a child. Whatever the reason, to tell his story, he fell back on, or was made to use through lack of imagination, a number of tricks of the melodramatic trade that perforce weakened the movie - its narrative and its impact. So wrong. The point of the movie is to demonstrate why the strategy of moving kids from their homes and relocating them in a foreign country did as much harm as good, and here, this is why? Because a Desperate Housewife/Hollywood Romantic Comedy sidetracked a boy's affections for his mother for fifty years? The obvious conclusion to be drawn by the viewer, then, is that it was a good idea to ship Eero out, if only Signe and Kristi had stepped up to their responsibilities as in real life they would have (or wouldn't have, but for more quotidian reasons).

    Eero leaves his mother now. Outside in the night, he looks up. He sees the stars. He smiles. Smile if you wish, oh Eero, but you're sixty, your mother is in her eighties, and Signe has moved on to make another movie.

    <CUT> Segue fade to the young boy staring up at the night sky at the beginning of the movie. Back at the beginning. And this time, Härö, just tell the truth.


  • Not a movie to see with your mom, or your priest (Madeinusa)

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    Madeinusa  (2006)

    This review contains spoilers (but first, a bit of business. I contacted the star of Madeinusa, Magaly Solier, to let her know that I have formed the Magaly Solier Fan Club and am its charter member and president. (No, there wasn't one already, unbelievably.) When Magaly comes to the U.S. on tour following the completion of her current project, I will host the meet-up with her and will offer to take paid time off from my job and personally supervise her activities in this country. Stand by for more details. Meanwhile, you can learn more about Magaly at her Myspace page. (In the first scene in Madeinusa (pronounced Ma–den–OO–za), Magaly, who comes from Huanta, Ayacucho, Peru (check your map of the Andes; it's off Highway 3, north of Ayachcho - the highlands area where Shining Path was at its worst back in the 90s. We should be sensitive about this when chatting with Magaly at the meet-up (brush up on your Spanish) because she would have been a child at the time of the most violent incidents in that internal Peruvian struggle. The writer Maria Vargas Llosa did research on the involvement of the Iquichanos in Sendero Luminosa violencia and I presume that Magaly is of Iquichanos blood. She speaks Quechua in the movie and the director and writer of Madeinusa, Claudia Llosa (30 years of age, lives in Spain now; this is her first movie), is Maria Vargas' niece. When I meet Claudia, the first thing I'm going to ask her is how she met Magaly, who was just out of high school at the time and had never been inside a movie theater, much less done any acting, before starring in this movie. All Magaly has to say on the subject is "El destino puso en mi camino a Claudia Llosa, quien cambió mi vida y me llevó hasta el cine."), is seen putting out rat poison (if you're going to use that shotgun on the wall, have someone hang it up there at the beginning of the movie. In Madeinusa, in addition to the initial poison-spreading, we get several camera shots from the perspective of dead rats and on several occasions Magaly's sister, played by Yiliana Chong (for my views on beautiful young women with names like Cheung or Chong, refer to my review of Clean. As mentioned there (I didn't include Rae Dawn Chong in that review, but everything I said there goes for her too), I was founder and president of Maggie Cheung's fan club until, as part of my settlement of the bogus harassment and stalking charges lodging against me by her, because she took the terrible advice of her manager, and the restraining order that the judge subsequently imposed, I had to give up my presidential position and membership in the club. The gears of justice ground slowly but exceedingly fine in the matter and after two years of litigation I was lucky to get off without pulling any hard time. That's love in Hollywood for you. I can only hope and pray that Magaly's new manager (Lalo Ponce (did she have to sign with a manager named "Ponce"?)) doesn't give her any advice like that), tells Magaly and the gringo from Lima, Salvador (played by Carlos J. de la Torre, one of the two professional actors in the movie (the other is Jaun Ubaldo Huamán, known in S.A. for his comedic work (speaking of which, every good movie needs at least one unforgettable scene and Madeinusa provides it when Cayo, Madeinusa's father, played by Huamán, takes out his wife's red earrings, which she had left behind when she ran off to Lima and which Madeinusa prizes above all things, and, furious as he is that the gringo has beaten him to his daughter's virginity, which he has waited and wanted to take for so long and now has just missed by an hour or so, and drunk, sitting alone in the town's little bar, he drops the earrings into a glass of whiskey, fishes them out and sucks them dry, lays them down on the bar and bends forward and pounds them to pieces with his forehead, and then picks up the remains and gnaws and chews on them before dropping what's left into his coat pocket to wait there for the climax of the movie (you can rape me but keep your filthy paws off my mom's earrings). Huamán, who chews the scenery from act one onward, now chews the props.). This is one of those movies with so much drinking that you just want to join them and pour it right down your throat straight from the bottle instead of sitting there like you are, drinking it out of a jam jar with a little jam still in it.) and coincidentally born in Santiago, D.R., where, as I mention in my review of Sun Dogs, I was staying in the neighborhood that he and his dad came from before he moved to Lima with his mom.  In the movie, any white guy from Lima is a gringo.) that rat poison brings good luck, so that we know from the git-go that somebody is going to be eating rat poison before we're done. Chong is the oh-so-sassy one. If I didn't have any morals, I'd be founding her new fan club as well as Magaly's ("Did you see his eyes?" Magaly says of the gringo. "Why should I?" Chong says. "They are lighter, like in the magazines," Magaly says. "And yours are the color of your shit, so don't get excited," Chong says. Sassy.).) and she appears to be a grown woman. In the next scene (her name in the movie is Madeinusa, by the way ("Madeinusa" is a normal given name in rural Peru, as are names such as Usanavi, Jhonfkenedi, and Marlonbrando. Western influence acting strangely on native culture. The title "Madeinusa" might mean something beyond being the name of the protagonist; if so, I have no idea what; when Madeinusa sees it ("Made in USA") on the tag of Salvador's T-shirt, she reacts, but what she's thinking I couldn't say. (Claudia sidesteps the question of symbols in interviews, symbols which in Madeinusa if and where present do not obtrude, by saying that they depend on the viewer. "What they read on the film depends on their own subjective universe. But I’m the type of person that thinks that when somebody have an emotional reaction on a subjects, it because, deep inside, something is moving. No body reacts on nothing." (Kudos to her for taking on interviews in English.) As a viewer who remains oblivious to most metaphor and symbol in film, and pooh-poohs especially symbols discovered by the director, by accident, post-facto, like the frogs in Manda Bala, I've let any hint of allegory and message slide by here, not to be mentioned again in this review. And there are no bits of magic realism, either. The town is real, the film in parts could function as a documentary, every character projecting psychological depths. Buñuel has been invoked, on a literary foundation that Uncle Llosa could appreciate. (Claudia locates the action (conflict between the old and the new) in a small town in the mountains, during the time between Good Friday and Easter Sunday, which is dubbed "Holy Time." God is asleep, Jesus is removed from the cross and blindfolded, and sins go unrecognized and unpunished until God wakes up again. This sounds somehow familiar to me, but maybe that's because I grew up in Turpentine, Mississippi, where God was often asleep for more than just a long weekend, and that's back when everybody was a Democrat; Christ knows what it's like there now. But Father Bob assures me that nowhere in the world does the Church really permit such sin-free weekends, regardless of local pagan folk beliefs or the size of a parishioner's tithing remittance. As far as he, Father Bob, knows, anyway. The director and her helpers spent seven months designing the religious procession that starts the sleeping-God time, and the costumes worn during the weekend's religious ceremonies, and designed the look of the village (Manayaycuna ("the town no-one can enter" in Quechua), located in Peru's Cordillera Blanca), Madinusa's house, so forth. I think I read somewhere that Indiana Jones got his hat idea from a trip to a village like Manayaycuna. The hat wrangler for the movie did a helluva job.).), she speaks to her older sister Chale (Yiliana) in the voice of a child. I'm wondering at this point- here at the start of the movie (of course, before contemplating founding a fan club and hosting a meet-up!!), is this a child who looks older than her age, almost adult from certain angles, or an adult with the voice of a ten-year-old, or what? Long story short, Magaly is playing a fourteen-year-old but was twenty when she made the movie. She's twenty-two now and still has that little-girl voice. (In addition to her film work, which includes Ms Llosa's second film, in which Magaly again stars, La Teta Asustada, Magaly has been in Josué Mendez's Dioses (Perú 2007) and in Fragments of Grace (a German/French, Belgian production). She has also signed with Phantom Music Group and has performed in a concert or two. She does a little singing in the movie, not American-Idol quality, but two songs that she wrote, which I can picture entertaining us while we sit on a rock in the mountains waiting for the next llama cart to come along. And for those of you, by the way, who might be interested in joining the fan club but have a problem with the fact that in the movie, as a fourteen-year-old, Magaly gives herself impulsively and rather graphically to an adult male and then later that night, with some resignation but not much, to her own father, I would point out that she was dealing with Claudia Llosa's script; that is, a story written by a Lima native who has been living in Spain for some years away from her institutriz. As far as Magaly was concerned, the doings on the set were probably as foreign and weird as those written by someone from Mars. I'm not taking her behavior in the movie personally. (Per the plot, a young geologist from Lima is stuck in the village over the weekend because a bridge is out farther up the road. Madeinusa gets the idea that he could take her to Lima where she can find her mother and escape the pending attentions of her father. So she gives it up to him, no sin, instead of to her father. When she pulls down her unmentionables in a dark alley in invitation, the geologist gets local religion on the spot. Come to think of it, I believe that one of my Peruvian friends, who will NOT be in the fan club, might have come from Manayaycuna, the dog.). (Which reminds me that one critic presents the lamebrained idea that Claudia set out to combine beautiful photography, third-world indigent cultural references, and a modern plot with a twist, not so much to make a good and entertaining and satisfyingly-understated-but-deep movie, but instead to make a commercial movie that would sell internationally. Note to this reviewer: If you want to make a movie that sells in the U.S., DON'T DO BANUEL IN THE  BACKYARD OF NOWHERE WITH A BUNCH OF NON-ACTORS. Without the good offices of Film Movement, this film would currently be enjoying an exclusive run in Puno Province at the world's only llama-cart drive-in, the Titicaca Starlighter. Even with Film Movement, every local metroplex in the U.S. will have returned to the dusty earth from whence it arose before Madeinusa ever plays there. Jerk.)) Could it be that the voice of the star, as much or more than his or her looks, influences me? I remember that I couldn't get enough of June Allyson. (Oh, and speaking of misguided reviewers, I also emailed the critic who found the film well-directed but unbearably dull, and asked him if the multiple sex scenes with blood included, the head-lice combing and squashing, the ground glass in the knees, bathing in a washtub, baldfaced pig theft, cast of hundreds, drunken spitting contest, mountain scenery, dead-rat flinging, corpse abuse, townwide mutual simultaneous public wife-swapping, necktie cutting with pointed scissors at the throat of the tieless gringo, sweeping a dirt floor, great fly foley, human clock (old man flips card every minute. White cards when God is awake, red cards from 3 P.M. Friday when Christ dies until 6 A.M Sunday), red-white-and-blue Andean color-coordinated female styling, cow piss, Christ coming off the cross blindfolded, foaming-at-the-mouth poisoning death scene (you can rape me but keep your filthy paws off my mom's earrings!), and another data point supporting my theory that just as every French movie contains the word "personne," every Spanish-language movie contains the word "preoccupar" didn't liven things up for him enough to avoid the "D" word, but it turns out that he mostly reviews for Fangoria, so nothing I say is going to change his mind. Dude is desensitized. Roger Ebert once wondered in a review, "How is it that the same movie can seem tedious on first viewing and absorbing on the second? Why doesn't it grow even more tedious?" His guess: "Perhaps it helped that I knew what the story offered and what it did not offer, and was able to see it again without expecting what would not come." That is, the first time through we're sometimes watching a movie that isn't really there because input is perturbed and shaped by expectation. For example, the first time I watched Old Joy, which is about two guys who go off into the woods and spend some time together and then go home, I had seen so many horror movies, and Deliverance, and such, where folks go off into the woods and then bad things happen to them, that all the way through Old Joy I was waiting for some bad thing. The movie wasn't about anything like that. In some sense, the two guys could have spent that time at the seashore or walking around Manhattan. Second time through, I could listen, hear, see, enjoy. Likewise, in the movie Sounder: dad, boy, and a big buzz saw. I kept waiting for somebody to lose a body part. Didn't happen. I laughed at the opening sequence in Walk Hard, which runs a bunch of those scenarios past us without result before finally pulling the trigger. As for Madeinusa, knowing that it was a low-budget work filmed in the highlands of Peru as the first effort of a young woman from Lima, and seeing in the opening scene a young indigenous woman preparing and distributing rat poison whilst at one point picking up a dead rat by its tail and flinging it away, I slipped into viewing-third-world-documentary-style mode and was not expecting and for a while did not pick up on the fact that I was watching a droll, sly, sophisticated, sacrilegious little riff by a director/writer of wit and intelligence, who had assembled an expert crew (Raúl Pérez Ureta (who shot the film on HD digital video. This prize-winning master has been working more outside of Cuba lately, in Argentina, Colombia, and Peru. He does himself proud here), Patricia Bueno, Susana Torres, Eduardo Camino, Roxana Rivera, Miguel Rubio) to realize her vision. I wonder if her uncle read the script. He's been on a few film-festival juries, including Cannes. Seven of his books have been made into movies, including one that he directed. I'd also be interested to know how Spanish vs Peruvian influences are manifest in the movie. (Visit http://www.cinencuentro.com/ for a sample Peruvian film blog.) Back in the time of violence there was a law that required a Peruvian movie to play in the theater before a foreign film could play. This created a huge demand for short Peruvian films and caused a lot of youngsters to be trained by filmmakers such as Francisco Lombardi, good news for the future of film in Peru.).) A good movie.


  • Chinese Thoughts On Love

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    Casablanca  (1943)

    Weekend Lover  (1995)

    Seventeen Years  (1999)

    Suzhou River  (2000)

    Platform  (2000)

    Purple Butterfly  (2004)

    Drifters  (2003)

    Summer Palace  (2008)

    Manda Bala  (2007)

    Spoiler Alert: If you want the ending of Summer Palace to be a surprise, read no further.

    After watching two hours and twenty minutes of cigarette smoking in yet another Asian movie (see also my comments on the subject in my review of Drifters), I finally bestirred myself long enough to fish up the following news bites:

    "Guiyang, China — Here's some exciting medical news from the Chinese government: Smoking is great for your health. Cigarettes, according to China's tobacco authorities, are an excellent way to prevent ulcers. They also reduce the risk of Parkinson's disease, relieve schizophrenia, boost your brain cells, speed up your thinking, improve your reactions and increase your working efficiency."

    "With annual sales of 1.8 trillion cigarettes, the Chinese monopoly is responsible for almost one-third of all cigarettes smoked on the planet today. Two-thirds of Chinese men are smokers, and surveys show that as many as 90 per cent believe their habit has little effect on their health, or is good for them. Even in China's medical community, 60 per cent of male doctors are smokers. Few are aware of the studies forecasting that cigarettes will soon be responsible for one-third of all premature deaths among Chinese men."

    “There is no market more important to the tobacco industry and no nation posing more challenges to tobacco control than China. With 350 million smokers and 1 million tobacco-caused deaths annually, China is the biggest challenge in international tobacco control."

    Summer Palace begins with its heroine Yu Hong (Lei Huo) at home in her village. Her boyfriend doesn't have much to say to her, but he does urge her to try his imported cigarettes. Now I know why; he's concerned about her health.

    Anyway.

    As much as I admire and respect Pauline Kael's reviews, which appeared in the New Yorker for years, nevertheless, I began to take some of them with a grain of salt as she approached the end of her career, because I had the feeling that by then she had simply seen too many movies. She began to dismiss the familiar too quickly, or so it seemed to me, and began taking an interest in the unusual instead, whether the unusual in question merited her interest or not. I was thinking about this while watching Summer Palace because the film is a staring-off-into-space-athon and I'm beginning to wonder whether I'm in the same boat as Pauline - seen too many - at least as far as this type of dialog-eschewing personal-interaction film is concerned. Have I seen too many anguished protagonists gazing moodily into the middle distance to react to the heroine Yu Hong as director Ye Lou would have me react? What is Yu Hong thinking, up there on the screen? Which way will she jump?

    Why the pain? Is that the thousand-yard stare of a stunned brain I'm seeing, or a portal into her seething emotions? Can I apprehend and empathize with and finally appreciate her internal struggles or will I just shrug them off, always assuming that I can figure out what they are in the first place?

    In American movies these days, the strong silent type is typically a man with limited acting skills who ends up pulling and using a gun or otherwise kicking major ass after being pushed too far. The problem with the silent stare in a movie with intellectual pretensions like Summer Palace is that as the film wears on, the protagonist can literally do or say anything and we're obliged to take it and like it. Consistency cannot be an issue, since we can't know for sure what the character has been thinking. The consequent action is the result of deep thought, we presume, or mental instability, or, as they say, whatnot. Or perchance the character will do nothing in the end, just continue to stare.

    I watched an episode of The Wire just before watching Summer Palace.
    Dense dialog, dense narrative. Corruption in a city where in the final analysis nothing is going to change. Meanwhile, in Summer Palace, one billion people undergo a decade of profound and radical change as the regime gradually opens into an authoritarian economic system. Scant dialog, scant narrative. Ironic.

    And speaking of not talking to each other - during sex, Zhou Wei (Xiaodong Guo), Yu Hong's main squeeze in the movie, wears earphones. Call me old-fashioned!

    Non-dialog reaches new heights in a scene where the lovers are floating on a lake in a rowboat. This is one of those couples-in-a-boat-wordless-montage scenes, only this time, after stretching out interminably, the scene goes no-dialog time-lapse into the night with a full moon rising. Yu Hong will probably tell her diary that she
    and Zhou Wei were talking into the night, after watching Zhou Wei rest on his oars for eight hours, smoking.

    And then, back at the hotel after languishing in the boat, sex. And then, "Zhou Wei? I think we should break up." "Why?" "Because I can't leave you." This is the signal to us that whenever things seem to be going well in the movie, Yu Hong will turn away and step off the curb into traffic, metaphorically speaking. An example of the viewer not knowing what is coming, not being a mind reader.

    I believe that Yu Hong was still a frosh at this point. When I was a frosh, I had a couple of painful wordless dates but they didn't end with me wearing headphones. Or not wearing them, either.

    Waiting for the dialog in a film like Summer Palace is like reading a Henry James novel. He doles out the spoken words most sparingly - dialog was the crest of the wave, I think he said - but most of the time I was deep under water, longing for any sign of a set of quotation marks, on pages of solid print often missing even a paragraph break. I'm speaking of his late novels.

    If director Ye Lou were making Casablanca here instead of Summer Palace, Ingrid Bergman would step into Rick's Cafe with her husband, sit down at a table, and smoke and drink beer without speaking to Paul Henreid or anybody else, while Bogart stood at the back of the room, alternately staring at her and looking away, smoking, wordless. Their eyes would meet once. Later, at the end of the movie, after a clinch, Bogart would stare into her eyes and say "What next?" and Bergman would drag on her cigarette and look away, and he'd look away, and she'd look back but he wouldn't, and she'd reply, "What next?" Then she'd look at him looking away some more and then one or both of them would turn and walk away. Lights up.

    Lei Huo does a nice French inhale or two (or Irish waterfall, if you prefer) in the movie, while not talking, I'll give her that. And there is a scene in a car where she and Zhou Wei drive, with lots of staring. He stares ahead. She stares ahead. Then she stares at him while he stares ahead, and that was good, her staring at him. That scene had some juice, wordless or not. Plus, they were filmed dead-on from in front of the windshield with the car vibrating from its motion, the most realistic such scene that I can remember seeing.
     
    Director Ye Lou, a 43-year-old from Shanghai, graduated from the Beijing Film Academy as one of its "Sixth Generation" or "Urban Generation" group of directors (the Fifth Generation, growing up during the Cultural
    Revolution, was more familiar with the rural than the urban), which also includes, for example, Jia Zhangke (Platform, 2000), Xiaoshuai Wang (Drifters, 2003), and Zhang Yuan (Seventeen Years, 1999). There is a definite trend in many Chinese Sixth Generation movies to skate over narrative and dialog (see, for example, The Wayward Cloud). Obviously, I need to be in the mood for this.

    In Ye Lou's case, the lack of dialog seems to grow out of his philosophy of film.

    "I want Lei Huo to be the character, not pretend to be the character. If she's just pretending, even if she's a very competent actor, she'll still harm the character, because the audience will just see her as a very good actor."

    Not so.

    That's why they're called actors.

    This reminds me of Olivier's reply to Hoffman, who was using The Method in Marathon Man to get into character and asked Olivier about the technique that he used to do the same. "Dear boy," Sir Lawrence replied. "It's called acting."

    Because to ensure that Lei Huo will "be the character," Ye Lou provides her with virtually no dialog - he can't presume, you see - and, unlike in a Mike Leigh film, she doesn't trouble herself to develop any herself. Which
    leaves us to divine what's going on in her noggin by the expression on her purposely expressionless face. Lei Huo says "the character is like me in real life. She's going to break my heart" but this doesn't help me, since
    I don't happen to know Lei Huo personally. She's a force though, with her nose often a little red.

    But. Having said all that. It's true that throughout the movie, once she gets to university, Yu Hong tells us what she is thinking by reading excerpts from her diary in voice-over. However, her thoughts as verbalized do
    not illuminate; they merely reiterate the non-look on her face. Viz, after meeting her one true love for the
    first time and dancing with him to "Seven Little Girls Sitting in the Backseat" (neither of them speaking, needless to say):

    "Had I not viewed my life in the light of the ideal, its mediocrity would have been unbearable. That's how I saw things when we met. You came into my life. You are my most refined friend. It's very simple. I knew the
    moment I saw you that we were standing on the same side of the world. And then we talked the whole night long. For all that, there are troubling aspects to our relationship which can't be reduced simply to pleasure or lack of it. I want to live more and more intensely. It's clear to me, nowhere more so than in our relationship, because there are times when I'm clearly imposing my will on you. If one takes desire lightly, action will be
    constricted. It was through love that I understood this. There's no getting around it. There are only illusions. Illusions. Those lethal things."

    This load is dropped on us at one go, intercut with tracking shots of Yu Hong and Zhou Wei (Xiaodong Guo), her new university lover, walking and gazing but not speaking. Perhaps they talked the night away and we never saw it, but more likely all the talking is being done directly into the diary. The message: the course of love never did run smooth. I think I can say with assurance that I never dated and danced and talked the night away
    with a girl who had these thoughts running through her mind.

    The dictum is "Show, don't tell." Here we have the opposite. The silence doesn't show and the voice-over diary reading tells constantly.

    Later from the diary, we get the likes of:

    "As soon as love touches you, life is knocked off balance."

    "True love can only appear at the most intense moments of anguish and suffering."

    Later one of Yu Hong's lovers says, "You're so simple. You're different from other women. You're simple and straightforward." He obviously did not get his hands on the diary.

    Of course, there are language and cultural issues here. In the absence of a gloss for the subtitles, this is where you pause the movie and turn to your spouse or significant other, if he or she happens to be from China,
    to solicit some cultural and linguistic input that might help you pick up on the nuances in those diary entries and in the dialog and action in general. Because these are our fundamental hints about what is going on in the
    minds of the characters and the hints are just enough but not more than enough to mute any surprise we might feel when, at the apparent height of their happiness, as they lie full-frontal (a Chinese first. Fifteen years
    ago, kissing was hardly allowed), staring up at the ceiling with the camera aimed down at them, Yu Hong suggests that Xhou Wei get circumcised. Why? he asks. (Xiaodong Guo speaks as quietly throughout this movie as
    anyone I can remember speaking on film without actually whispering.) Yu Hong replies, Because it would be less painful. Who told you that? he asks. My professor, she says. Why did he tell you that? Because, she says, we were making love. This puts an immediate damper on the couple's romantic outing. Yu Hong follows an old romantic convention and walks away from happiness whenever she chances to encounter it.

    Another quick scene that might benefit from a little cultural interpretation: Yu Hong is sitting in a public park next to a basketball court, waiting for her boyfriend to arrive. He's late. She's watching some young men play a pickup game. Her boyfriend rides up on his motorcycle, hops off, and apologizes for being late. Suddenly, an outcry. He's parked on the court or on a part of the street serving as the court. Immediately there is a struggle and he gets a shiner and scraped cheeks. The young woman joins in the fracas. The problem is, the conflict is instantaneous and obliquely shot, so that it is impossible to tell what's happening, exactly. The scene feels clunky and staged, which is strange considering that it follows several quiet and evocative scenes that open the movie. Surely this doesn't mean that Ye Lou doesn't have the chops to handle a little action, action as majorly simple as this? He obviously isn't a fan of Hong Kong movie brawls, but I'm thinking that I've missed some cultural nuance in the scene that might help account for its amateur feeling.

    And one more word about taciturn actors: we don't even get diary entries from Zhou Wei. He drives away from Yu Hong at the end of the movie without a word but with, we presume, extreme regret (though his face doesn't show it). Who knows why?

    Earlier, hanging out in Berlin because that is what the director did after he got out of school, separated now from Yu Hong, his true love, Zhou Wei sits next to a young Polish woman. The two are gazing out at a Berlin
    wasteland. One presumes, on the evidence of the movie so far, that they are casually intimate, perhaps lovers.

    "What is Warsaw like?" Zhou Wei says.

    Pause for some gazing and brow-wrinkling by the girl.

    "It's ok," she says.

    Mutual space-gazing.

    "And Beijing?" she says back.

    Gazing in tandem. I like it that the man from China and the woman from Poland are conversing quietly in German. Xiaodong Guo continues to speaks in a too-cool quiet voice.

    "It's ok," he says.

    I figured that that was going to be it for the scene but after another bit of gazing, she asks him if he has a girlfriend. He says that he does. We feel the painful significance of this terse reply. Where is she? the girl asks. Somber piano notes.

    "Very far away," he says in German with a Beijing accent.

    "In China?"

    "Perhaps."

    "Where are we right now?" the girl asks. Zhou Wei exhales cigarette smoke. She says, "In Berlin?"

    What she means by this, I have no idea. The first time I watched the scene I rolled my eyes. By the fifth time I was liking it. At least they were saying something to each other, even if it didn't make any sense.

    The director wanted to make an organic movie that grew, as if alive, and that involved the actors. What are the implications of this for the movie's story? Is "organic" code here for "no plot," or "no narrative," or
    "juryrigged narrative arc"? The makers of Manda Bala, which I just reviewed, went on a five-year hunt for a story with limited success. Ye Lou didn't take that long, unless you count the fact that he's been thinking about this film since his graduation from film school in 1989. His struggle is evident, though, in the same way that Jason Kohn's was in Manda Bala - nurturing a hope that something will crop up. A failure of ability or imagination or no failure, but simply the constrictions on storytelling imposed by the original vision. The suicide in Summer Palace (wordless), and its wordless aftermath (serious staring off), and the abortion (wordless), and Yu Hong getting hit by a car, and some of the sex, and most of the rest of the staring-off-into-space in this film could have been eliminated, to the film's benefit, by replacing it all with a little sharp dialog. Having said that, the movie never dragged for me; the two hours and twenty minutes it ran felt like less.

    "I don't want a construction, with a clear beginning, middle, and end," says the director. In his opinion, the story would naturally end with the events in Tiananmen Square in '89, which occur halfway through, but he must
    show the consequences of Chinese economic and political development with respect to the students during the ten years that follow. He wants his film to live and it appears that in his view, forcing it into the straightjacket of a story would kill it. "One of the challenges in the narrative is that the climax of the story is actually in the middle of the film and not at the end. But it wasn't possible for the story to end there. That moment had to be in the middle of the film." I've mentioned elsewhere that I'm oblivious to
    metaphor in film. To the extent that the lives of the students in the decade after Tiananmen stand in for the economic and political developments in the country, the film doesn't work for me. The director says that it's a
    melodrama, not a political statement; some commentators think that Western viewers will take the movie as a melodrama while Chinese viewers will react to the representation of China ten years ago. I got the melodrama and not so much the mood of that country in the 90s.

    Regardless of my issues about dialog and narrative, I have nothing but respect for Ye Lou as a maker of movies. He made Weekend Lover in 1995 and then Suzhou River without permission, in 2002. Suzhou River won prizes and was praised as "exhibiting the most eloquent and
    effortless command of the post-Wong Kar-wai pop idiom yet." The Chinese government then put him out of business for two years. Ye Lou takes his movies seriously. After making Purple Butterfly in 2003, he did Summer Palace and was hit with another suspension by the government in 2006, for five years this time, because he entered the movie at Cannes
    without permission. A sacrifice like that requires us to take second and third looks at his filmmaking philosophy. As does the praise for Summer Palace from the likes of A.O. Scott and David Denby.

    "I'm just a director. I'm not a politician. I don't want to get into boring politics in my films. Many Chinese directors practice self-censorship because of the tight controls. But I think this is fatal. Directors must be free. So I say to everyone when we are working, 'Let's forget censorship.' That's why there are always so many troubles after the film. But while I am shooting, I am very happy... In my opinion, in its current condition, we still have a lot of problems. First and foremost, Chinese cinema still isn't free, either in terms of creativity, management, or regulations. If you can't express your opinions freely, you can't accurately judge the value of other people's words. We need to be able to express what we really think before we can judge the form or soundness of another expression." Summer Palace was withdrawn by the producers at Cannes after the Chinese government's reaction to its release.

    The movie had more film-making resources available to it than most Chinese films. Scenes were shot in six different cities, through four seasons, with rain, wind, and summer heat. (Do Asian movies do rain best? It can come down in buckets. Rashomon - now that was rain.) To make this romance about the youth of his generation, Ye Lou returned to the same dorm rooms he had lived in at university. If I returned to the dorm rooms that I lived in at Occidental and Tufts and dressed them to match the time that I was there, and then filmed moments of political, cultural, and physical awakening in them that matched my own, I expect that the results would resonate powerfully with me. Wow. But probably not with anybody else. Would this cloud my judgment around the dramatic and esthetic issues that arise while making a film? I know nothing about Beijing University and the Summer Palace next door to it, other than that the school's interior looks a lot like a hard-used middle school I used to know in the toughest neighborhood in Detroit.

    Similarly, after college the peregrinations of the students reflect the director's own post-graduate travels. Zhou Wei hies off to Germany (Ye Lou met his wife in Berlin), Dong Dong to the U.S., the others to large cities in south China. We see the wall in Berlin coming down, Gorby, Hong Kong reverting to china. But there are two hundred cities in China with a population over one million and I can't name three of them; the director's
    scheme of moving south city by city to indicate, metaphorically, the opening of Chinese economic policy in the 90s (it having always been easier to operate in China the farther south you went) was lost on me. Perhaps if these students had started in Detroit and headed down to St. Louis, and then Nashville, Texarkana, Santa Fe, and Venice Beach, and Italy instead of Germany, I might have registered more fully the zeitgeist presented in the movie. I was talking to a couple of young people the other day who are working in online data acquisition in Boston. They've been having the feeling lately, after a couple of years in private industry following a lifetime in school, of "This is it? This is what it means to finally be an adult?" Questions which anyone in this movie would understand. At university in Beijing in '89, everything seemed possible. The world could be changed. In the second half of Summer Palace, the former students learn that this feeling was an illusion, something that Yu Hong realized much sooner.

    The '90s were a time of confusion for many twenty-somethings in China. The characters in Summer Palace spend a lot of time acting confused. I take the point. There is old China here but there is also Coca Cola in the big red bottle on the ferry, and this is the first time I recall seeing a mainland China gas station. It wasn’t self-serve. Just off the freeway. Had a mini-mart. The thing about character confusion is that, in the absence
    of dialog, it can edge into boredom, aimlessness, and ennui, which can then translate into boredom for the viewer, especially if the viewer doesn't knit. It occurred to me to wonder at one point about the difference, if any, between the boredom of childhood, the boredom of adolescence, that of young adults, of parents, of the middle-aged, of seniors, and of pet dogs. And whether the boredom engendered by a bad action flick is the same as or different than the boredom caused by an art movie with a bad case of the longeures. These are questions to pursue in a later review, when a truly boring movie comes along.

    Mick LaSalle in his podcast the other day said that the key to an effective romantic sex scene (as opposed to the other types of sex scene) is to make sure that longing precedes it. This is a forte of current Chinese
    filmmakers. They tell love stories, with all the difficulties so often attendant to them, and they seem to specialize in longing. Consider the movies I've mentioned above, or any movie by Wong Kar-Wai, or Ang Lee's
    Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon or Brokeback Mountain. Summer Palace begins with an entry in Yu Hong's diary:

    "There is something that comes suddenly like a wind on a warm summer's evening. It takes you off guard and leaves you without peace. It follows you like a shadow and it's impossible to shake. I don't know what it is, so I can only call it love." Love blows in like a wind, and it's an ill wind that blows no good. With fifteen minutes left in the movie, Zhou Wei learns that Yu Hong is married. The longing on his part takes a final, major step up.

    You've got to look long and hard to find this kind of movie in the West. Romantic comedies, sexual-attraction movies, historical romances like The Age of Innocence from time to time, but modern longing and romance? Not so much. This is not to say that most of Yu Hong's sexual activity is meant to be romantic. Instead, she says in her diary, "It's only when we're making love that you
    realize that I'm gentle." She teaches a number of men that she's gentle by using this direct method. She has tried countless other ways but has chosen this special direct method as the most efficacious. I have a feeling
    that the word "gentle" does not do justice to Yu Hong's original conception, but one way or another, it's all about her trying to be accepted as good and tender. Thinking back, I'm wondering if any of those women I knew
    were just trying to show me that they were gentle. Question: Does longing for one person make sex scenes with someone else work? Yu Hong, for example, while longing for Zhou Wei, finds love with Wu Gang (at least until "material poverty can only lead to resentment"). Hmm, now that I think of it, most of the sex in the movie involves longing for someone absent.

    Li Ti (the suicide) wouldn't allow anyone to love her for fear of hurting them. "Love is like a wound in the heart. When it heals, love disappears. Or never existed."

    Ye Lou calls Summer Palace a melodrama, not a historical study. Most of its two-and-a-half hours is spent examining love, watching young men and women in love, trying to explain love.

    Ye Lou: "Then love is like a leaf in the universe. if the universe were a tree, love would be a leaf on the tree. And we can glimpse at the shape of the universe by looking at just one leaf. So I can just depict the love. Once I've protrayed the love, I've portrayed the universe."

    Well, if I see an elm leaf, I can't tell you what the trunk of the tree looks like. Does Ye Lou succeed in explaining love, or are we simply peppered with notions?

    "Why was it that nothing he had said to me or done to me could prevent my heart from going out to him," Yu Hongs says. I never spotted Zhou Wei actually saying or doing anything in particular to her, so I take the
    question to actually be a statement. The director has said that love is uncontrollable, that is goes beyond events, that it can't be restrained, that we can't demand anything of it. We can't expect it to bring happiness, or marriage, or a long and happy life together. He says that emotional torment takes time, a lot of time, to resolve. For Ye Hong and Zhou Wei to come back together and stay together, the director says, would have taken them another decade of longing and would have taken him another hour of screen time. Now I don't feel so bad that they didn't get back together.

    So, a movie about love. What do I take away from it? If you're in love and you have sex repeatedly, it doesn't lead to boredom, as in real life, but to unhappy longing for your absent partner. Or vice versa. I hope the director has had better luck with love than his characters in Summer Place, because, in this movie, not to lower the tenor of the review, if love strikes, you're f**ked.


  • Put Down That Frog and Step Away (Manda Bala)

    1 out of 1 people found this review helpful. [What do you think?]
    Under discussion:

    The Birds  (1963)

    Pixote  (1981)

    City of God  (2002)

    LOL  (2007)

    Ten Canoes  (2007)

    Manda Bala  (2007)

    Out of Balance  (2007)

    Before dealing with the end of the world as we know it, which this movie does not explicitly mention but which is lurking there in the unspoken background - before dealing with that, it being a pet peeve of mine, let me mention first an equally annoying pet peeve: many podcasters, the Spout podcasters occasionally among them, use the expression "begs the question" when they actually mean "raises the question." This error of diction has become so common in the U.S. today that it's probably useless to even mention it here, but since I heard it again on FilmCouch recently, let me remind those who might be unaware of it that "begging the question" is a form of logical fallacy in which an argument is assumed to be true without evidence other than the argument itself. Thank you.

    Meanwhile, back in the day, if you hated documentaries but had to write a paper on one, you could head down to Ninth and Trawler and catch The Nudist Story at the Jewel Box. The Nudist Story is the film where everybody plays volleyball with their backs turned to the camera. Otherwise, you were stuck with "Hemo the Magnificent" or "Our Mister Sun" or a training film explaining how to avoid the clap and why you ought to do so instead of chasing around after the girls at school who were reputed to be the biggest pushovers. These days, in addition to naked flesh, you can find lots of other quite acceptable entertainment in nonfiction films - crime and corruption in its multivarious forms, incest, child abuse, pedophilia, perversions both common and obscure, the apocalypse, and George Bush. Manda Bala, for example, will get you through the night quite agreeably, with a laugh or two, when you can't count on slipping a review of Hostel II past your Remedial English 2B class instructor.

    Manda Bala executive summary: That's all you got?

    But stand by while I rethink that.

    Manda Bala Cliff Notes: Frog farm launders money for massively corrupt president of the Brazilian congress; kidnappers are mean; a guy worries about getting mugged in Sao Paulo; bulletproof cars (if it's good enough for the Pope, it's good enough for me); plastic-surgery surgery, with blood and music that has a cutting edge; using a helicopter to avoid carjacking; no helicopter-jacking, sadly; and the clincher: politicians can be corrupt.

    "Manda Bala" ("Send a Bullet") is an expression common in Brazil but hard for me to explain in English, at least as I understand it (feel free to correct me). Imagine a situation like Iraq, for example - sixth year of the war, unrelenting violence, little water or electricity in Baghdad, a sense of inevitable disaster - you might look at that and just say "Manda Bala," meaning "What the hell, go ahead and pull the trigger."

    I checked out a few reviews of Manda Bala while awaiting my screener, just to pick up on the buzz. The temperature ran hot (except for Stephen Holden): "rich vibrancy of threat," "inexcusable violations of political faith and public safety," "hauntingly mounted voyage," "shocking and scary," "mesmerizing, tense, exciting," "a country and a society entirely out of control," "black humor and stomach-churning detail," "the ravages of political graft and unchecked crime." Documentary Grand Jury prize winner at Sundance. Cleaned up at the Cinema Eye Awards. "A film that cannot be shown in Brazil." Wow.

    Well, Manda Bala can't be shown in Brazil because one of the guys appearing in the movie told the young men who made it that he'd sue their asses three ways from Sunday if the film ever opened in a theater in that country. Always some sorehead out there with his hand in your pocket.

    So is it true that if the filmmakers have particular interests, a design, and a message in mind, but I don't share those interests, don't apprehend the design, and misunderstand the message, then how blame is apportioned between maker and viewer for the disconnect will determine whether the movie is good or bad? Because my executive summary above is not in exact accord with the thoughts and intentions of the filmmakers.

    I believe that in the last analysis, the principal interest of Jason Kohn (the director and principal producer - that is, the guy who made the movie) was to make a feature-length theatrical documentary with the film values of a mainstream motion picture - the values of a Hollywood action flick, for example. Like Earl Morris, and maybe because of Morris' influence, Kohn's aesthetic here represents the flip side of cinema verite, handheld video cameras, minimalism, and made-for-TV documentaries. For example, Morris prepares sets before shooting, recreates scenes, and uses the "Interrotron" - his invention - when interviewing (a device that, when used correctly, lets viewers make eye contact with subjects in the documentary). A Morris quote has it that style doesn't dictate truth, so that the handheld camera should not be a prerequisite these days for making documentaries. Kohn hates (his word) the common belief that content will always win out over form; that form is a slave to content. Cinematic effects can be used to make a point with style (vide The Thin Blue Line). There is a provocative element in this idea. Kohn invokes Robocop and Lethal Weapon as film models and Verhoeven, Ridley Scott, and Terry Gilliam as major influences. He wanted to use film rather than videotape in Manda Bala and was able to obtain 35mm lenses adapted for a 16mm camera. Manda Bala is shot in anamorphic Super 16; at 2.69:1, it's wider than Cinemascope. Kohn says that he made the choice in part as an anti-TV statement. At the time, HBO, the most profitable channel for documentaries, had announced that they wouldn't letterbox. Kohn also is bugged by TV documentaries that add footage to find a theatrical release. He wanted to make a film that delivers visually in the theater. He wanted to light sets, use dollies, and try out filming techniques used in action flicks. He said that film makes everyone look great, like an actor. He didn't want to go down to South America, a rich kid by Latin standards, and stick a handheld camera in the faces of the poor. (In the event, the poor onscreen are few and far between. In an odd turn, most of those interviewed about a country gone terribly wrong appear themselves to be saints.) As Kohn expresses it, he wanted to make a documentary Robocop. To him, documentaries aren't a separate form; they're just another genre. For example, Morris borrowed from noir when making The Thin Blue Line. Heloísa Passos won the Cinematography Award at Sundance for shooting the movie.

    I, on the other hand, received Manda Bala on DVD in the mail and watched it letterboxed on TV. I might as easily have watched it on a laptop or even on an Ipod. So while I can sing the praises of Lawrence of Arabia or a Terrence Malick flick as seen in the theater, I was never going to be watching this one there. So the sad fact is, I'm not in a position to comment on this aspect of the movie, perhaps the most important to its director. Besides, isn't this supposed to be a golden age for documentaries? Seems like most of the Rotten Tomatoes 90+ movies are documentaries, and there is quite a list of them. And if the theatrical version of a documentary is made with TV values and 30 minutes of extra footage, it might bug Kohn but it doesn't matter to me because I won't be paying $10 to see it in the theater anyway. And with the current lively DIY movement and mumblecore and me having just reviewed LOL for example, I'm not especially focused on the photographic values of a film, documentary or fiction, anyway. Although Ten Canoes did knock me out.

    So watching the film on my couch without knowing anything about what I've said so far, Manda Bala looked ok. It looked good.

    In addition to these theatrical and cinematical considerations, Kohn wanted to investigate several interesting subjects. In particular, he wanted to go to Brazil and shoot some footage of a frog farm that he knew about and of matters pertaining to a plastic surgeon that he had heard about. And in the process, he wanted to avoid polemics. In Kohn's opinion, feature documentaries are a poor way to push political agendas. With Bush getting elected in spite of Fahrenheit 9/11, maybe I agree with him. And Kohn wasn't interested in documentary filmmaking as journalism. Viewers expecting an expose or other newsworthy story will not find it here. Kohn wanted to go expressionistic, not journalistic. He wanted to experiment and discover what could be done with a documentary, not set out with digitized video in mind. Maybe do something like Fast, Cheap, and Out of Control.

    I, contrariwise, am not intrigued by frog farms or plastic surgery and I don't have a problem with, and in fact might lean toward, polemical documentaries that observe high journalistic standards and push agendas. So that's another strike against me vs Manda Bala, going in. And the Sundance prizes perturbed my attitude as well. I mean, this is a film made by three very young and inexperienced filmmakers and needs to be, must be, approached and appreciated that way, which in my case, because of the buzz, sadly wasn't.

    Finally, Kohl learned that he needed a story. He needed to tell a story and make it look good. His second of three editors, Doug Abel, taught him  what that meant. Kohn credits Abel with cutting the film into a coherent story. I could be interested in a story. A story, that I could go for.

    But to back up a little: Jason Kohn graduated from Brandeis in 2001 and got a job as a researcher for Earl Morris. He visited his dad in Brazil at Christmas, 2001, to look into the filming of the frog farm and the plastic surgeon. His dad knew a lot of folks down there and had some influence in the community; Brazil has a lot of poor people, and a collection of the super rich, but the middle class isn't so big. Then, in the summer of 2002 at the age of 23, Kohn flew down to actually shoot some film. He called a friend, Joey Frank, and asked him to come down for a couple of months too, to help in Sao Paulo. Kohn knew Frank from Brandeis, but Frank had transferred to Brown, where he was scheduled to graduate in 2003. When Kohn called him he was 21.

    Kohn's father is Argentinian, his mother Brazilian. His father had been robbed in his car four or five times in the past seven years and talked about it a lot, and also complained continually about the rampant corruption in Brazil. Jason knew that the frog farm was used for money laundering and that the plastic surgeon specialized in rebuilding the ears cut off kidnapping victims, and he thought that he might make a short film dealing with corruption and the country's concomitant street violence and how they might  interrelate, with the farm and surgeon serving as framing examples for the central idea of the film.

    Frank joined Kohn in Sao Paulo and they asked a third friend, Jared Goldman, who was working at Miramax, to provide backup from the States. Kohn, Frank, and Goldman are credited as Manda Bala's producers. Kohn is also the director, Frank the assistant director. Kohn and Frank spent two and a half months doing preproduction work in Sao Paulo. They used Kohn's dad's house as one office and his mom's house in the States as the other for the duration of the project.

    Kohn had sold his car and saxaphone to raise money and had otherwise managed to raise 10K or so. Frank brought 10K too. The film began with a summer budget of 25K. Kohn talked Heloísa Passos into shooting the movie. Then they filmed the frog farmer and surgeon, and a detective on kidnapping detail, a paranoid businessman, a microchip salesman, an assistant attorney general, and a kidnapping victim. They came home with 25 hours of film, cut together a trailer, got grants from Sundance and Brandeis, and found an investor.

    As they worked on their thesis that corruption at the top breeds violence at the bottom, they came to realize that they needed more than the frog farm and some ear surgery to make a decent Robomentary. They went back to Brazil the next summer and shot 25 more hours of film. With that they had a feature film without an ending, as they put it. In fact, "ending" here might be code for "story," "arc," "compelling narrative." They decided that they needed a kidnapper in the film and waited around with 10K in bribes to interview one that they had found in prison. However, a bookkeeping error dealing with the exchange rate meant that they were 20K behind, not 10K ahead. And, the kidnapper was transferred to a different prison. The interview never happened.

    After finding, finally, funding for a third phase, Kohn went back to Brazil, hung out for six months until a taxi driver taking him to the dentist told him that he could hook him up with a kidnapper. Kohn met the kidnapper at a McDonald's, handed over some money, was taken to the kidnapper's home, interview him multiple times, and also got a brief interview with the corrupt politician at the center of the film. A final version of Manda Bala was cut together and finally, after five years of effort, the filmmakers had their film. Six months later it won the Grand Jury prize at Sundance.

    So, young men make a movie and it is what it is. No, it isn't what it is; it's something else. It isn't what Kohn says it is, exactly, and probably not what I thought I saw it was, but it's in the neighborhood of what it is.

    It really struck me how young these fellows were when my daughter, in her last year at Brown, mentioned that one of the boys from her high school, who is also at Brown, was friends with Joey Frank. Frank's Facebook page is not exactly that of a graybeard, either.

    After Manda Bala was released, Kohn and Frank in commentary and interviews seem to be finding their way a little toward an explanation of the movie that they had made. They represent Manda Bala as an impressionistic collage of scenes that, taken together, recontextualize the relationship of political corruption to street violence.

    I, however, took the movie to be telling me, as if I might not know it already, that kidnapping is currently a growth industry for the poor in Brazil.

    This was not Kohn's intention. He well knows that street violence in general and the kidnapping industry in particular in Sao Paulo are not expose-worth in 2008. City of God was released in 2002. In Kohn's view, while City of God (one of the great Brazilian films in his estimation) is a pretend documentary, Manda Bala is a pretend fiction. They make a nice pair. In fact, Manda Bala crew members claimed to belong to the City of God crew a time or two. Opened some doors.

    So kidnapping for profit isn't popular in the U.S. because there is too much risk for too little gain, penalties too stringent, and a strong law-enforcement focus on the crime. For example, my parent's house was robbed twice before the two addicts across the street decided to go for a bigger payday and were immediately arrested for kidnapping a kid down the block and botching the ransom pickup. But on the other hand, kidnapping for ransom is now common in many parts of the world. In 2007, Baghdad was dubbed kidnapping capitol of the world by whomever it is that does that dubbing. Previous title holders include Mexico and Colombia. You're also a high snatch risk in Haiti, Moscow, and parts of Africa. And in Sao Paulo. Manda Bala does get a little breathless over this fact.

    In the U.S., selling drugs provides the standard entry-level employment opportunities for some of the poor who can't get a job at Wal-Mart. We're just not into kidnapping-as-a-business yet. I was visiting in Bogota last year and my friend's daughter was crossing from her parked car to the front door of the apartment building one night and got grabbed on the sidewalk. A flash kidnapping. Her abductors drove her to a bank machine where she withdrew the max allowed. This was at 11:55 PM. They drove around for six minutes and then had her do it again. Then they drove her out to a dump on the outskirts of the city. She told them that she was a doctor working with the poor (which was true). Whether or not that was the reason, they let her get out of the car and drove away without shooting her. When the police brought her home, she went into her room and closed the door and didn't come out for three days.

    Meanwhile, the ear-cutter-offer in the movie tells us that his ill-gotten gains are spent helping the poor in the slums where he lives. A Hezbollah/Hamas/Sadr militia model of social welfare.

    I'm guessing that the vogue in kidnapping in the past decade has something to do with technology: the spread of cell phones, the Internet, and the availability and affordability of an arsenal of new, powerful weapons. In Sao Paulo, kidnappings are running at a rate of one per day. In Manda Bala we see, first, evil faceless kidnappers. Then, the tough cops who hunt them down like dogs (81 cops in  a city of 20 million, poorly paid and prone to accept bribes). As mentioned above, the filmmakers try to find a kidnapper to interview. They learn about one in prison but the bribes necessary to get to him would have busted the movie budget, so eventually, by luck, they hooked up, through that traditional source of connections, the cab driver, with a kidnapper in a ski mask. (Hard to find a ski mask in Brazil? Couple of the classic ski resorts in the Andes have closed because their glaciers have melted.) This man in the mask had killed and would kill again (but as he tells us in his defense, he's mostly just killed policemen). He has robbed. He has kidnapped. He's done ears. He's probably instantly identifiable in that mask to anyone who already knows him, cop, neighbor, or victim, from his eyes, mouth, and voice. This is a man who has lived his life in the slums. Gives freely of his ill-gotten gains to his needy co-slum dwellers. Nine kids. Wife pregnant with number 10. For me, him talking about his family is the most affecting moment in the film. As he is interviewed, police snoop around nearby and the filmmakers are wishing that they had worn Kevlar vests for the occasion. Later, after the movie was completed, the police caught up with the man. He killed two of them and they shot him in the stomach and shoulder. On the way to the hospital, he acquired a third bullet hole, this one in the head.

    Juxtaposed with the kidnapping material are scenes documenting a serious case of political corruption. That juxtaposition is the point of the movie, not the fact of the corruption itself, which has been endemic in Brazil from the jump in 1500. Europe's relationship with the country was exploitive for centuries, as wood, gold, sugar, and coffee were carried off across the Atlantic. (And if memory serves, the pre-Columbian Native Americans were a shifty-eyed lot around those parts as well.)

    Regrettably, as I did with the kidnapping segments, I took Manda Bala to be informing me of something that I already knew, not recontextualizing the facts being presented. As I watched, I had the thought that finding corruption in Brazil is like finding penguins in Antarctica. You can make an interesting documentary about your discovery, but the basic fact of it is not surprising. Just to say again, Kohn wasn't finding penguins in Brazil, because he knows a hundred times more about corruption in that country than I ever will, for sure; just that it seemed that way to me as a first-time viewer of the movie.

    The politician highlighted here, Jadar Barbalho, President of the Senate (or something), took millions - make that two billion, so greedy - from the government via public works programs, and sent it out of the country while in the process created over 400 businesses to wash the money, employing the poor of his state. Who knows how much he kept for himself, but enough trickled out into the community to get him re-elected. Naturally he never paid for his crimes. Compare and contrast this with a president of our own who takes a trillion or so for a bogus war, most of which finds its way into the pockets of the corporations of his buddies. Would he have been reelected in Brazil as he was in the U.S.? But no more snark. I'm just sayin. An oil man becomes president and the oil companies make more money than any business in history. As someone asked the other day, if Colonel Sanders were elected and the price of fried chicken went up 500%, would anybody ask why? But no more snark. Those of us who are Americans (as we blithely call ourselves in the U.S.) live in an environment that fomented the savings and loan debacle of the 80s, the tech collapse of the 90s, energy deregulation and Enron, and the current mortgage crisis. What do I care about a corrupt official in Brazil when the government here has turned me and my 401K over to a global business culture as immoral and rapacious as any fallen angel let loose in the Sacred Heart girls dormitory on the Night of the Dead? Nah, I'm just kidding. But there is a reason to care about corruption in Brazil, in addition to simply exercising our basic humanity, a reason which I'll get around to in a second.

    Brazil wants and needs foreign investment, but the country's reputation for corruption is a problem for it. Lula da Silva ran on a platform to clean up the government, but whether he really meant that or not, he has encountered a bureaucracy designed, built, and endlessly refined over centuries to encourage and nurture bribery and all the other time-tested methods of fiscal chicanery specific to the human species. Voters hoped that Lulu's election would bring change, but money laundering and manipulation of large government contracts in thousands of cases like the frog farm have continued to be reported. Public trust in the political system is poisoned. Although Lula da Silva himself seems to have remained clean, some of his closest political allies have been or are being investigated. He governs by coalition, and coalition means political bribery. A mensalão (‘monthly pay-off’) bought votes in Congress; scandal resulted in 2005. Polls indicate that a majority of Brazilians still believe that Lula is honest, but only 16% trust the political parties to be honest. The government may be one of the most corrupt in history and that corruption interferes with the government's attempts to control the imbalance in economic status and the unrest and crime that it causes.

    If it were just a matter of humans preying on humans, the situations in this movie could be applied to many different countries. But unfortunately, Brazil happens to be home to most of the Amazon rainforest. I've already pointed out once, when reviewing Out of Balance, that the world is going straight to hell. But since that is sort of a trippy concept and there are infinite engaging examples that adumbrate the approaching darkness and chaos, a few more words on the subject might not come amiss.

    That is, forget about the kidnappers and their predilection for de-earing their captives. Brazil is busy tearing out the lungs of the world and has been for years. While Brazilian engineers tout the use of  satellite technology to save the Amazon rainforest, loggers, miners, and farmers keep on cutting. 20% of Earth's oxygen is produced by the rainforest (soon to be remembered only as that place down there that gave Amazon.com its name). Marina Silva, Brazil's environment minister and an Amazon native, has developed a plan to stop deforestation, which is currently progressing at 1.3 million hectares a year. She breaks the problem down geographically into specific areas. However, in spite of Brazil's struggle to implement her plan, the country remains the fifth-largest global contributor to greenhouse gases. It's up there with the big boys: the U.S., China, and India. Deforestation is the second most significant source of atmospheric carbon dioxide in the world, contributing 25% of carbon emissions to the atmosphere. In a major operation in 2005, nearly 90 public officials, businessmen, and loggers were arrested. Environmental protection agency (IBAMA) employees charged with protecting the forests from illegal loggers had been accepting bribes from logging companies in return for falsifying permits to transport timber to markets within Brazil and abroad. The illegal logging takes place primarily in Mato Grosso, where environmental organizations estimate that two-thirds of all logging was being carried out illegally. IBAMA has been reorganized in an attempt to eliminate corruption, but it's too early to see if that's doing any good. (Care to hazard a guess?)

    I'm sure that you've read or heard factoids like "One square mile of rainforest can contain more than 50,000 insect species" or "One hectare (2.47 acres) of land can contain more than 480 species of trees" or "Amazon rivers contain over 2,000 species of fish." 1.5 acres of rainforest is lost every second in the world - 78 million acres a year. At this rate, 85% of Earth's remaining rainforest will disappear by the year 2020. 137 species of plants and animals go extinct every day.

    Every so often, a ray of light gleams out, such as a recent conference of 11 Latin American countries in Brazil, with Indonesia and Congo as observers, held for and attended by leaders of indigenous groups in those countries. They explored carbon-trading policies that would compensate thier governments for conserving rainforest. In Brazil, indigenous tribes currently retain permanent rights to 12% of the country and 21% of the Amazon, plus 49 million acres of "extractiv