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"Everybody wins."
Personal statement:

Giraffe Versus Unicorn has nothing at all do with with giraffes, unicorns or the prospect of a showdown between the two, the chances of which happening are very slim considering that one is a mythical creature. Which is a shame, when you think about it.

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Deadgirl: A Review
By giraffeversusunicorn in giraffeversusunicorn Blog
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"Given the schlock of some recent horror/zombie films, once hearing of the plot for Deadgirl, or seeing the trailer, you'd be forgiven for writing this one off. But it's not the repulsive mess that you'd expect it to be. The plot is rather simple and perhaps typical of the genre - Rickie (Shiloh Fernandez) and JT (Noah Segan), bored of another day at school, decide to skip class and explore an abandoned mental hospital. Wherein they find a dead girl (Jenny Spain, in her first acting role), covered in a plastic sheet and seemingly chained to a table. For the next hour and twenty minutes we explore the relationship between Rickie and JT as their morals lead them down different paths. Fernandez and Segan are perfectly capable in their roles, with Segan excelling as his character becomes ever-increasingly erratic. Jenny Spain, without a single line of dialogue manages to invoke so much purely through a combination of whimpers, growls and longing looks into the lens of the camera. It's n ... " [More]
Transformers: Revenge Of The Fa ...
By giraffeversusunicorn in giraffeversusunicorn Blog
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful. [What do you think?]
"Unbearably long, barely acted and filled with more sweeping camera shots than any other Michael Bay-directed movie before it, Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen is a terrible, lumbering behemoth of a film. When it's not an explosions-filled action movie, it's an awful teen comedy, teetering on the brink of being farcical. Beginning with overlong backstory that nobody really understands or cares about, it's a while before we're reunited with the film's protagonist, Sam Witwicky (Shia Labeouf), as he prepares to set off for a normal life at college, fully intending to leave his transforming car, Bumblebee, behind. Unfortunately, along with Sam we're also reunited with his parents, Ron (Kevin Dunn) and Judy (Julie White) who resemble a Laurel & Hardy-esque slapstick double act throughout the entire film. Laughs are played for witlessly in every scene they're in, which is far too many, including humping dogs (Twice! And in stupidly quick succession!) and the accidental ingestion ... " [More]
X-Men Origins: Wolverine: A Review
By giraffeversusunicorn in giraffeversusunicorn Blog
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"Cross-Posted from Giraffe Versus Unicorn. It is without question that Batman Begins and more so The Dark Knight have changed the way in which comic books are brought to the big screen. Gritty and dark in tone, the reverberations that they have created in the industry are only now beginning to seep down the chain, as we can see here with the completely unnecessary re-telling of Wolverine's origin story. Already told in a series of flashbacks and cuts throughout the original X-Men movie, Origins: Wolverine aims to expand on this in a story riddled with ridiculous plot-holes and dumbassery. We're introduced to our main characters, Hugh Jackman's Wolverine and Liev Schreiber's Sabretooth as children in 1845. A quick death which we're not given enough time to care about later and we're in the rather fantastic opening credit montage, which sees the two fight their way through history's major wars, beginning with the American Civil War and ending in Vietnam. Very reminiscent of Watchmen ... " [More]
Frost/Nixon: A (Short) Review
By giraffeversusunicorn in giraffeversusunicorn Blog
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"Ron Howard helms this political thriller and twists it just enough so that it begins to resemble a boxing match. Frank Langella puts in an towering performance as Richard Nixon who holds Michael Sheen's David Frost at arms length during their first few encounters on screen. Frost is shaken, stunned and on the ropes until a drunken late night phone call from Nixon allows him a way back into the fight. Howard's adaption of the original stage play is well-directed, gloriously well-acted and thoroughly deserving of it's Oscar nomination.4 " [More]
Rachel Getting Married: A Review
By giraffeversusunicorn in giraffeversusunicorn Blog
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"Cross-Posted from Giraffe Versus Unicorn. Rachel Getting Married takes a family wedding and turns it on it's head with the arrival of Kym, the titular character's younger sibling, who comes equipped with a luggage-load of problems.Oscar nominated Anne Hathaway revels in the role of Kym, who begins the movie by ending a nine month stint in rehab for drug addiction, an addiction which has left her with a traumatic secret. During the beginning act of the film, she comes across as a vaguely unpleasant character, one who is quick to throw out quips and one-liners, at times to disguise her true feelings. If Juno were less pregnant and more of an asshole, this could possibly be the result.However, it speaks volumes of Hathaway's acting ability that she takes this seemingly unlikeable, narcissistic and attention-seeking character and begs and pleads the audience for every last scrap of sympathy. And it works. As more of Kym's backstory comes to light, set in scenes around the wedding's bui ... " [More]
Sunshine: A Review
By giraffeversusunicorn in giraffeversusunicorn Blog
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"Cross-Posted from Giraffe Versus Unicorn. Danny Boyle's Sunshine is a gorgeous psychological thriller set in the confines of the Icarus II space station, as it makes it's way towards the sun to deliver a bomb that will reignite the dieing star.The eight-strong crew of the Icarus II are instructed to carry out their goal as follows: the ship will fly within reach of the sun and fire it's payload of nuclear material, 'equal in mass to Manhattan Island', into it's very heart, while propelling themselves away within a four minute deadline. Only, they're met with a myriad of problems along the way.When they receive a distress beacon from the crew of the Icarus I, the first attempt at such a huge mission, the decision to chance docking with the other ship or continuing with the task at hand is left to Cillian Murphy's Capa, the ship's physics expert and the only person capable of delivering the payload.Events take a turn for the worse and the movie broadens it's outlook as it enters it's ... " [More]
Sunshine: A Review
By giraffeversusunicorn in giraffeversusunicorn Blog
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"Cross-Posted from Giraffe Versus Unicorn. Danny Boyle's Sunshine is a gorgeous psychological thriller set in the confines of the Icarus II space station, as it makes it's way towards the sun to deliver a bomb that will reignite the dieing star.The eight-strong crew of the Icarus II are instructed to carry out their goal as follows: the ship will fly within reach of the sun and fire it's payload of nuclear material, 'equal in mass to Manhattan Island', into it's very heart, while propelling themselves away within a four minute deadline. Only, they're met with a myriad of problems along the way.When they receive a distress beacon from the crew of the Icarus I, the first attempt at such a huge mission, the decision to chance docking with the other ship or continuing with the task at hand is left to Cillian Murphy's Capa, the ship's physics expert and the only person capable of delivering the payload.Events take a turn for the worse and the movie broadens it's outlook as it enters it's ... " [More]
Lost In Translation: A Review
By giraffeversusunicorn in giraffeversusunicorn Blog
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"Cross-Posted from Giraffe Versus Unicorn. In Sofia Coppola's second outing as a feature film director, Lost In Translation has her overseeing Scarlet Johansson and Bill Murray in a film which plays to both's strengths wonderfully. Murray plays Bob Harris, a former movie star who is in Tokyo to shoot a series of whiskey advertisements, while Johansson takes on the role of Charlotte, who has traveled to Tokyo with her husband John, a photographer who is on a work assignment in the city.Murray turns in an understated performance, possibly the finest of his career, whether it be during the comedic moments such as his sheer bewilderment during the shooting of a whiskey commercial or when his character is falling for the charms of the genuine and giggly Charlotte.Questions of fidelity are asked strongly throughout, as the disillusionment of both the main characters is portrayed expertly on screen. Charlotte is at a turning point in her life, having not long graduated, she has no idea wha ... " [More]