lewisbostock

Member since 4/11/2008, last signed in awhile ago.

"Independent Filmmaker and Film Critic"

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Interested in:Action, Adventure, Avant-garde / Experimental, Comedy, Comedy Drama, Crime, Drama, Film, TV & Radio, Horror, Musical, Nature, Reality Show [TV], Romance, Science Fiction, Spy Film, Theater, Thriller, Visual Arts, War, Western

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Overdue Investment
By lewisbostock in Lewis Bostock
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"After writing my second post about Earl Grey Tea, I'm starting to think my blog is like fly paper for my tea loving imbecility --I get sniffy when cafe staff fail miserably at serving tea. They insist on badly chipped teapots. And never serve an additional teapot of hot water. So the tea bag is left to wallow in the bottom of the pot. They present a behemoth teapot with only one bag. So the pour lacks potency. And would've benefitted from double, even triple the bags. Sometimes the behemoth teapot is totally impractical. The spout isn't long enough. The handle doesn't gape enough. The pour spills over the table. The cafe snobs look away from your total noobishness. And your forced to mop up the mess with flimsy napkins.I feel unqualified to quietly judge cafe staff. Because I'm unpracticed in brewing tea myself. So I've decided to remedy the situation with an overdue investment in a tea set.Except I'm fussy. I want:to drink looseleaf Earl Grey with dignified Gay matesto avoid spill ... " [More]

In Posts of 140 Characters or Less
By lewisbostock in Lewis Bostock
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"11:45 Watching Savage Grace. Here's a movie about money, mania, matricide, incest and here's Julianne Moore in a deliciously savage performance XD # 11:55 @Patrickblog What did you think of the homosexual-incestuous threesome that ended with a giggling fit? Hawt, wasn't it? XD # 12:19 New Post on Tumblr: Merry Christmas Lights (via frida27ponce) tinyurl.com/6gn2c4 # 12:25 Watching Frontiers. A continental twist on the 'torture porn' with political motivations and ultra-gore. Shockingly well made & recommended. # 12:44 Here's a useful website for Kiwi Bloggers, a directory of the Kiwi Blogasphere, or a home for your Kiwi Blog kiwiology.co.nz/ # 13:02 Researching New Zealand Forestry. I'll explain later. # 13:22 Karina Longworth's scathing report of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button on blog.spout.com tinyurl.com/6rumhp # 13:39 My life is loaded with indecision. Burger King loaded with trans-fat vs. Noodles loaded with Carbs? SO what is worth getting fatter for? # 13:59 Expre ... " [More]

The Dark Knight

Reactions to the Golden Globe N ...
By lewisbostock in Lewis Bostock
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"Here's some spontaneous reactions to the '09 Golden Globe Nominations.Inspired by Josh Hall a.k.a skishua and his latest blog post, each reaction comfortably fits Twitter's 140 character limit, more or less.I recommended Nathaniel Rogers at The Film Experience, for exuberant Oscar coverage and accurate Oscar Predictions.In general: This wasn't good news for Rachel Getting Married, The Dark Knight and Milk. Each film earned one acting nom. Despite four potential nominations.Best Drama: An incredible snub for The Dark Knight and Milk but a big PUSH for my predicted win The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.Best Musical or Comedy: Will the Hollywood Foreign Press make the right decision and reward Happy-Go-Lucky's charm with the top prize?Best Performance by an Actress in Drama: A rough competition here, all five vaginas best beware of Sally Hawkins come Oscar time. Seriously.Best Performance by an Actor in a Drama: All five GG choices will be the five Oscar choices. Sean Penn's locked. ... " [More]

Striking Damp Matchsticks
By lewisbostock in Lewis Bostock
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful. [What do you think?]
"I finally found time to watch 21. Despite my reluctance. But my Father bought me the DVD. So I am obliged.I work at Lumiere House of Movies, a boutique DVD rental store in Whangaparaoa. We serve customers that find solace in watchable or passable entertainment. No doubt, Robert Luketic's latest effort will reign in the Takahes, that's twenty dollar bills for you non-Kiwis.(Films 'Based on a True Story' usually succeed at our store, 'Based on a True Story' invites the viewer to forget the cliches because they 'happened in real life' and the film's marketers know how to capitalize on this misplaced understanding.)Just scratch away the surface, refuse to accept mediocrity and you'll find exactly what 21 misses, or just adjectives with the 'UN' prefix.An UNoriginal screenplay, UNenthusiastic direction and UNenthusiastic leads that culminate in a forgettable film. It's in one ear and out the other.Here's a story SO predictable, it plays like a damp matchstick, always failing to ignite, ... " [More]

The Love Guru

Dueling with Mops Soaked in Urine
By lewisbostock in Lewis Bostock
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"Why the hell did I agree to review The Love Guru for My Boss at Lumiere House of Movies? That's like agreeing to get donkey-punched. Repeatedly. For 80 minutes.What Can I Say? One of the WORST films of 2008. And destined for a Razzie Award come the routine hand out of meaningless accolades.I don't know what compelled me. I know the film 'boasts' a 14% approval rating on RottenTomatoes.com. But the desire to watch a monumental disaster holds a magnetic force.You know the feeling. You have seen roadside Police cars, their whirling blue and red lights that signal 'accident up ahead', you drift along, knowing you are slowing down traffic, but you cannot look away.From A.O. Scott's Review in the New York Times, To say that the movie is not funny is merely to affirm the obvious. No, “The Love Guru” is downright antifunny, an experience that makes you wonder if you will ever laugh again.Mike Myers' Guru Pitka not only rides an Elephant but helps his Elephant ejaculate in a Hockey Rink cro ... " [More]

Zack & Miri Make a Porno

Spraying Someone's Face in Feca ...
By lewisbostock in Lewis Bostock
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"On a post titled Melting Like a Snowcone in Phoenix, I said Zack and Miri Make a Porno was a 'disappointment', Josh Hall a.k.a Skiskua responded with:I loved it, actually. It was one of the cutest movies I've seen this year and in an odd way, I think it's about the value of loyalty in an oversexed world.Sorry, Josh, here's an unsatisfactory effort by Kevin Smith, he leaves his film needing more, it's lazily told. It had me laughing. Certainly. But it failed to arouse. In fact, instead of watching Zack and Miri Make their awkward Porno, I'd rather be back at home in Albany having a soapy tit wank.And here's why:Rather than illuminating the lives of the characters or impacting the plot, virtually all the supporting characters are underused. They're functional in gross-out sight gags but lack an agenda and a memorable screen personality.An appearance by Traci Lords was an opportunity to add a commentary on bad porn, something self-referential, something insightful, something sorely mi ... " [More]

Zack & Miri Make a Porno

Melting Like a Snowcone in Phoenix
By lewisbostock in Lewis Bostock
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"SO I attended an advanced screening of Zack and Miri Make a Porno with Tenani French a.k.a Nanisnap and some of the JB HI-FI crew. Here I was, psyched for a freebie, courtesy of Roadshow Entertainment, a company practically begging me to revel in beer-swilling, pizza-eating and porn-watching, you know the feeling, when you wanna let it all out (fuck the cultural learnings that Queer Eye For the Straight Guy taught you) and act totally savage for the evening. But yesterday began my annual struggle against Auckland's unique brand of humidity. To borrow the humble words of Mrs. Doubtfire, "I'm melting like a snowcone in Phoenix," of course the weight doesn't help but I combat heat exhaustion by rapdily fanning a DVD cover against my skungent face whilst looking like a cricket player without Zinc on my hooter. But here I am, struggling to wedge myself into a basement sweat box, or what Roadshow Entertainment called a 40-seater 'theatrette', ready to watch the work of overweight p ... " [More]

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