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Personal statement:

I was a teenage werewolf until that summer of passion when I became a MAN...

 

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FroggyBaBe15876's movie tags

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  • Old Scratch in a Puppet?

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    Devil Doll  (1964)

    This movie is appeared on MST3K as episode 818 and is a sordid little tale of a man and his evil puppet starring Bryant Halliday, who also appears in MST3K episode 901: The Projected Man, and 2001: A Space Odyssey's own Haywood Floyd, AKA William Sylvester. Very disturbing and uber-creepy, the "doll" of the title, Hugo, is inhabited by the spirit of the movies antagonist's former assistant, whom said antagonist, The Great Vorelli, mindfreaks and steals his soul, then, ultimately but "accidently" kills. Old Willy Sylvester, the protagonist, is the boyfriend of fake-eyelashed looker Marian, who is also being mindfreaked, as well as bedfreaked (upperback fetishes are GROSS) by Vorelli. To round it all out, there is a very noticably huge-butted woman, Vorelli's current assistant, who is killed in a most ridiculous way, knifed to death by Hugo the puppet because of a comment by Vorelli: "She said you were UGLY." What a dope. The ending is bland and substantially unsurprising, with an obvious last line that will make you slap your forehead and moan, "Ugh!"  Although the movie lacks thrills as much as naked mole rats lack fur, Devil Doll is a very cool episode of MST3K.  I would suggest you watch the movie by itself first, then watch the MSTed version that will make you chuckle uncontrollably.

  • No Singing Crabs in This One

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    I saw this one when I was a little girl and it darm near broke my tiny heart.  I remember little of the first parts of the movie, but I vivdly remember the ending.  As poor Pearl's sisters swim beside the ship, pleading with her to take the dagger they acquired from the sea witch in exchange for their beautiful, long hair, and kill her beloved Prince Andrew, I began to cry.  And THEN, as Pearl stands sadly over her love sleeping in bed beside HIS love, Princess Emilia, dagger in hand, I cried even harder, scared for the Prince and his Princess and sorry for Pearl.  AND THEN, when Pearl sets down the dagger on the floor and walks away, I still cried.  But the end, the very end, was what got to me:  a shot of a wave, sloshing up on a beach, with bits of sea foam crowding the edges of the water...Pearl's new form.  Oh the sadness!

    I remember telling people about this movie and people saying, "That's not true!  They wouldn't make a movie like THAT!"  And I tried and tried to tell them but they didn't believe me.  If you have not seen this version of The Little Mermaid, I seriously suggest you make it a point to.  It is very very good and worth the short hour to watch.


  • These Ain't Your Average Rolly-Pollies

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    Bug  (1975)

    I saw this movie at a very young age and, even then, decided it was awesome.  I have watched many movies about mutant bugs and crawly things, but this is my favorite.  Why?  Because it is ridiculous.  Super-duper cockroaches, eh?  They light things on fire, huh?  Well, then.  I want one!

    I don't have a problam with bugs if they are smaller than my pinky nail.  Otherwise I try to stay away from the big ol' ones.  And I think if I lived in Podunkville, USA, like in the movie, and a giant earthquake cracked open the ground and suddenly random bushes were LIGHTING ON FIRE, I would probably leave.  But dear old mad scientist, Professor James (Jim-Jam) Parmiter decided to stay and train the little rock looking buggers like puppies.  That seems like a plan, doesn't it?  Training mutant roaches to do your bidding and bring you drinks and cheesecake?  Yeah.  I thought so, too.

    In the end of course, Jim-Jam learns that he shouldn't toy with mother nature as she can get very angry.  For some reason, I can't even IMAGINE why, the roaches get ticked off and run amok, eventually killing Jim-Jam and then ... going back into the giant crack in the earth where they came from...?  That seems like kind of a weak ending.  I think the roaches should have given the townspeople a beating and then had their best Bug candidate run for mayor.  I know who I would vote for...


  • A Not So Fine Young Cannibal Flick

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    Hannibal Rising  (2007)

    The other day, I was listening to the TV in the other room and caught a snippet that some show on SportsCenter was being brought to me by the Hannibal Rising Unrated Two-Disc Special Edition.  This puzzled me for a silly reason:  why in the world would a suspense/horror movie be sponsoring a sports show?  That was a first to me.  Usually, sports shows are endorsed by action-let's-blow-stuff-up-every-other-scene movies.  Or sports movies...but that's too obvious.  The next thing I thought was, "How did this movie get a two-disc special edition?"  Then I remembered that even the crappiest movies nowadays have two-disc "special" editions, even if they only have one deleted scene.  The rest of the second disc is then loaded with crap like "What the Actors Ate for Breakfast On the Third Day of the Shoot" or "Guess How Many Extras Died in the Making of the Earthquake Scene?"  Stuff like that.  But that is a different story.  Like I said, I was confused that Hannibal Rising had a two-disc edition.  But why did I think that?  Because it seemed to me that the movie didn't deserve a second disc.  It just wasn't that good.  And here's why:For starters, the lead actor playing Hannibal Lecter, Gaspard Ulliel, although very attractive and talented, was just not the best choice for the role.  His accent was way too German and he just didn’t look like Anthony Hopkins, who, in my opinion, is the best Hannibal Lecter you could ever get.  And where the hell did older Hannibal’s dimple that appears on young Hannibal’s cheek go?  Perplexing.Another reason I thought the movie was mediocre was the fact that the filmmaker made Hannibal into a cannibal throughout the movie.  In the novel, Hannibal only eats the cheeks of Heir Dortlich (Richard Brake) and that’s about it.  He doesn’t eat Grutas’ (Rhys Ifans)  face at all.  By the way, where the heck did the scene between Lady Murasaki (Gong Li) and Hannibal Samurai-ing it up come from?  I don’t recall that one in the book either…

    Now, don’t get me wrong, I love dear Hannibal.  But this movie just didn’t do it for me, I guess.  Hopefully, the next installment will be more impressive and really let Hannibal’s history come out.  Otherwise, I don’t think we’ll be seeing many people at the box office or at the store buying these Unrated 2-Disc Special Editions.  However, let’s hope for the best and see what this fine young cannibal can really do.


 

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