minjoe

Member since 3/5/2008, last signed in awhile ago.

""The Minjoe Show""

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Personal statement:

I am a movie junkie. Whether I'm watching movies, filming them, or just talking about them--there is nothing more fun for me!

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The Boondock Saints II

Pissed Off Irishmen...
By minjoe in minjoe Blog
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"During my simple college days, I remember being intrigued by the college posters that people choose to paste up on every square inch of their dorm rooms. Undoubtedly, amidst the scores of topless or semi-nude women, most men will have their "Fight Club" poster, and those 'in the know' will also have a "Boondock Saints" poster. Might as well read: "Badass" or "I get laid a lot." The original Boondock Saints film hit the stands in 1999 and slowly became worthy of mention when referencing 'cult classics.' The film follows the McManus brothers who, after a run in with some mobsters, decide its God's will for them to slaughter every two-bit criminal in the greater Boston area. They are pursued by FBI agent Paul Smecker, who is played delightfully over-the-top by the always solid, Willem Dafoe. The film is slapstick, intense, funny, and engaging in a way you come to expect from the B-movie genre. "Please violently destroy everyone you encounter for their sins." -God The sequel, 'Al ... " [More]

Twilight: New Moon

Tweener Porn
By minjoe in minjoe Blog
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"Imagine, if you will, a film in which Miley Cyrus and several Miley 'clones' spend a good 40 minutes of the film prancing around in the tiniest bikinis you can imagine. Continue to let your imagination run wild as you picture epic love triangles, and quadrangles, developing between Miley & clones, as well as some brooding male characters. Now imagine every man in this country losing their mind over the sexiness of this, wearing 'Team Miley' shirts, and running to theatres in such droves that the movie opens up #1 at the box office and shatters records across the board. Obviously, you'd think every man in America was a sick, perverted son of a bitch and feminists everywhere would be shouting from their soap boxes that, once again, we have proof that men are pigs. If this is 'hot' than you are a sick s.o.b. Luckily for women everywhere, the same rules do not apply to their sick, sexual fascinations with our nations youth. I sat through a screening of "Twilight: New Moon" in w ... " [More]

2012

The End is Near (Again)...
By minjoe in minjoe Blog
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"It was many moons ago when they came for us out of the blue. Their giant spaceships rained down from the Heavens and we finally had an answer to the question of whether or not we were alone. However, we quickly learned that these otherworldly visitors were no friends of mankind. In what has been verified as the greatest aerial battle in the history of mankind--we turned back our alien oppressors on Independence Day. How experts missed this danger is beyond me... Then, years later, we were told that the world we knew, the planet we take for granted like a dime-store hooker, was not going to take our bullshit anymore. In what historians are calling the "Day After Tomorrow" (two days from now) event; the citizenry of much of the world had to evade frost as though it were an advancing predator. Scientists were ignored, hippies disregarded, and the common people paid the price for our ignorance. We will never again forget what a bitch mother nature can really be... A pleasant sprin ... " [More]

The Box

Welcome to Hell (Or Mars)
By minjoe in minjoe Blog
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""Hell is other people." -'No Exit' By: Jean-Paul Sartre When I discovered that "The Box" was simply an elongated take on a "Twilight Zone" episode, which was, in turn, based on a short story entitled "Button, button," I wondered how many different ideas would be thrown around in this film. Anytime something that starts so small gets beefed up over the years and worked on by so many different hands, you can't help but worry that the final product will be convoluted and overly complicated due to taking on the various incarnations of the work. My fears were only heightened when I learned that the film was written and directed by Richard Kelly (of Donnie Darko fame). The film was based on an SNL skit starring Justin Timberlake Citation: N/A The film opens with text (an internal NSA memo) which explains that Arlington Steward (Frank Langella), who was a lightning-strike victim declared dead, has re-awoken and begun distributing a device related to the "Mars project." Its pretty bad ... " [More]

The Men Who Stare at Goats

Jedi vs. Sith (In Iraq...)
By minjoe in minjoe Blog
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"The first scene of "Men Who Stare At Goats" features a Brigidier General, with pained concentration on his face, attempting to run through a wall--and failing. Unfortunately, the remaining 90 minutes of film will often make you feel like the idiot trying to run through a wall. "Wtf is the point of this movie?" -Everyone The movie follows the journey of Bob Wilton (Ewan McGregor), an Ann Arbor based writer who happens to stumble upon a secret government program for training psychic-soldiers. His journey takes him to Kuwait, where he runs into Lyn Cassady (George Clooney) who is supposedly the best of the best within the "U.S. Army First Earth Battalion." Cassady informs Wilton that he is a Jedi-warrior and sets up the rest of the film as being an odd satire of war, the military, and who the hell knows what else. These colors don't run you terrorist bitches. Obi-Wan joins Batman on his trip into Iraq for what is promised to be a 'top-secret' mission. As the plot unfolds you ... " [More]

This is It

M.J.'s Last Dance
By minjoe in minjoe Blog
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"Let me be clear: When Michael Jackson passed away, I was not one of the people who suddenly decided to forget about the last 15 years of his life, and focus only on glorifying his once proud career. I found that sudden outpouring of sympathy and support for M.J. to be both hollow, and strange. A man who was a piñata for the press over the last decade (or more) was suddenly being treated like a saint who taught us all how to love music. "Please father, send us a King of Pop, to compliment my work..." When "This Is It" hit theatres, I was--shockingly enough--not exactly thrilled at the prospect. Sure, I enjoy Michael Jacksons music, and there is certainly no denying his status as a musical legend. However, its difficult for me to go all the way back to that time--while ignoring his more recent struggles. Allegedly Michael Jacksons last vehicle. All that craziness aside, "This Is It" turned out to be a pretty damn good movie. The film follows the rehearsals that were lead ... " [More]

Amelia

Amelia Hits Turbulence
By minjoe in minjoe Blog
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"I've always found that motion-picture biographies are one of the most difficult types of films to be done correctly. Elaborating on the history of someone who walked this world as a titan of their time, is an incredibly difficult task to achieve in under two and a half hours. You also have to deal with screenwriters who have a tendency to over-sensationalize, or simply change history, simply to make the story more exciting. Pure Poppycock: The Jon Minjoe Story (Starring Rick Moranis) Coming this Spring I found myself somewhat shocked when heaps of negative reviews began pouring in for Amelia. The trailers alone might as well have been lovely images of a plane flying while the text reads: We really, really want some Oscar nominations for this film. In general, bio-pics tend to always play that angle--but this one, more than others, seemed to be longing for recognition--and with the cast it had assembled, you can see why they thought they had something special. "WANT." -Amelia P ... " [More]

Saw VI

Saw VI = Exactly What You'd Expect
By minjoe in minjoe Blog
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"Every now and then, a movie comes along which transcends the medium of cinema and becomes a catalyst for change in the world. In these trying times, one may say we've been waiting for just such a movie to come along. A catalyst for shepherds everywhere. Saw VI is, in fairness to the film, a huge improvement over the previous few installments. Saw II-V were pretty much exercises in torture-porn confusion. The writers were hoping like hell that the audience wouldn't remember what happened earlier in the film, or in earlier installments, so that they could bend & twist the plot to meet their selfish demands. In this sense, one can understand why people ridicule these movies and particularly the sick minds behind the madness. Author: Mein Kampf & Saw II-V In Saw VI, a number of loose ends are tied up as we continue to watch the series evolve after the death of Jigsaw. Having just dispatched Luke Danes (Of the Gilmore Girls) in the previous installment, Detective Hoffman h ... " [More]

Paranormal Activity

Paranormal ACtivity is Fantasti ...
By minjoe in minjoe Blog
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"I am a horror movie aficionado. Any horror movie fan has a moment when he, or she, comes to the following realizations: 99% of horror films are remarkably un-scary. The remaining 1% are only scary for about 3 minutes of the actual film. If you judge horror films on the same scale as you would judge a regular movie, they would almost all receive zero stars, two thumbs down, etc. If the film your watching takes place from the year 2000 onward, someone will probably be tortured. You don't get "The Shining" but you tell everyone you know that you understand the deeper meaning. (I totally do...) Despite what her eyes may want you to think...this is not scary. I won't sit here and lie to you and say that I had any idea what Paranormal Activity was until the hype that has surrounded it ensured that every living soul would have the opportunity to enjoy being scared shit-less by this movie. However, the life of an unemployed Michigander (what a stereotype...) allows me the time to ... " [More]

Public Enemies

A Whole Lot of Nothing
By minjoe in minjoe Blog
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"I don't think I was alone in waiting, and wanting, to see Public Enemies. With a cast being led by king of the eccentric-loner, Johnny Depp and the always deep and intricate Christian Bale--it wasn't wrong to hope for a lot... Unfortunately, this film failed to live up to even a small portion of its overall potential. Several things struck me in all the wrong ways as the film progressed. First of all, I realize that Michael Mann prefers a hands on, gritty, and 'in-the-action' approach to filmmaking. However, the sheer nature of this film demanded a more assertive and epic approach. When John Dillinger first walks into a bank we see him and his cronies from behind, as though we are one of them--but I found myself wanting to be in front, seeing these titans of crime ascending the stairs into their 'workplace.' Perhaps the most unsettling thing about this movie is that it runs incredibly long, without ever having much to say. The lack of character development is both brutal, and ... " [More]

Hostel

Solid Horror...
By minjoe in minjoe Blog
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"From the first preview I saw for The Strangers, I was excited to see this movie. It appeared to be a return to a simple, desperation, terror around every corner, sort of horror flick. The movie did not dissapoint. The Strangers revolves around a couple who've gone to a secluded house for what was supposed to a be a romantic get away. As the two start to sort through their relationship issues, they receive an unexpected visitor...at 4 in the morning. From that very first knock on the door I, and everyone else in the theatre, was on the edge of their seat anticipating what was coming next. The very few lines that were spoken by the aggressors were absolutely terrifying. As the film unfolds, we find that the young couple are being stalked like wild game by three masked aggressors who seemingly have no intent to let them leave alive--as well as know motive for any of their actions. The thing that is incredibly disturbing about this film is that the actions of the three masked capt ... " [More]

Superbad

Re:Mean Girls
By minjoe in Once Again
"I didn't watch it in the theater, unfortunately, but being a college student have watched it many, many times. It's interesting how some of the language used in the film has gained acceptance in popular culture (at least on college campuses). Phrases like "word vomit" and the word "fetch" are used a lot in my circle of friends. Films like Mean Girls and Superbad definitely adopt a cult-like popularity. I don't think I'll ever get tired of either. [/quote] Let me be frank, and honest--I love Mean Girls. How does it get better than Lindsay Lohan back when she wasn't addicted to coke, anorexic, or going on booze binges every night? What I like about Mean Girls is that, though it has its over the top teen comedy moments where you just want the campy dialouge to stop, it also has genius moments. Tina Fey is an incredible writer and comic and it comes as no surprise that her work on this movie resulted in some golden moments. Each of the characters is interesti ... " [More]