Telluride 2008 Festival
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  • A classic style with a modern twist.

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    Ok, i'm a stickler for my classics. Indiana Jones is one of those series(much like the original Star Wars films) that i'm very defensive and passionate about. So of course I had to go see it opening night, and I had to be ready for anything.

    Let me say one thing first, for a man who's 66 years old Harrison Ford can still act like a bad-ass. And bad-ass he is, from start to finish.

    I don't want to delve into plot because of two reasons. One: it's complicated and I don't want to ruin anything. Two: I hate trying to explain a movie's plot when it's just easier to say "Go see it you moron".
    The acting is pretty good. It's not as spectacular as I would have liked, but it fits the film well. Everyone hits their marks and plays their part, and Harrison Ford acts like he's just putting the hat back on and it's time to go. The only person who bugged me was Cate Blanchett. First, she does a fairly lousy Russian dialect accent. Secondly, her character is just a bad villain. Thrid, her character is just so irritating(and not in a villainy way, in a stupid way) and you just wish she would have been shot at the the beginning of the film. Shia LaBeouf plays young tough-guy Mutt Williams, and he does it well. That's right, I like Shia as an actor!

    The action scenes are vintage Indy, with the 20 minute long fist fights, the highly over exaggerated sound effects and the horrible grotesque deaths(you think a guy getting cut in half by a propeller is bad? Ha, just you wait). It's what kept this film as an Indiana Jones movie.

    I know I said I wouldn't delve into plot, but I have a few things to say about it. It's a little cheesy sounding once they get into it, but you have to remeber: This is and Indiana Jones movie, the same films that found the Ark of the Covenant and the Holy Grail. It did seem like they were really reaching now and then, but it's a fun movie and i'm willing to forgive.

    Is this as good as the originals? No, but I didn't expect it to be. The originals are great because they were something new, but don't let this fact detract from how good this movie is. It's worth seeing, and it's a great summer action movie with an aging actor coming back to fill some big shoes(better than the crap that was Rambo and Rocky Balboa). Go see it, and remeber: it's a movie, not everything has to make sense.


  • A great start to the 2008 summer movie season

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    Iron Man  (2008)

    Iron Man has been a longtime favorite comic book of mine, I even have the dreaded first hardcover issue of "Ultimate Iron Man"(cringe, cringe in terror!), so i've been waiting excitedly for this film since they announced it's production. I had very high hopes(and yet a good amount of doubt) for this film, and it hits on all notes.

    I won't go through plot details because if you're going to see this movie you should already know the basic plot behind Iron Man, if you don't know then you're just a fake who wants to seem cool by watching comic book movies.

    First thing is first, the acting. Some of the finest acting i've seen in a long time. I lost a bit of hope in acting as far as comic book movies go after seeing Spiderman 3, he did do an emo dance after all. But this movie has top notch acting. Robert Downey Jr. makes an incredible Tony Stark with his ability to project sarcastic comments, deep feelings, bitter hatred, and even wonderous bits of comedic gold(flight testing being the best example). Terrence Howard makes a great Rhodey, and plays the semi-sidekick(later to be actual sidekick) role wonderfully. He comes across as being Tony's friend, but also a failed attempt to be the voice of reason. In steps Pepper Potts as the voice of reason. Gwyneth Paltrow steps up to the role of Tony's hard edged red-headed assistant, and does an amazing job playing opposite Downey Jr. And, i'll be frank, she looks smoking as a red-head, I didn't even think she had it in her anymore. Guess I was wrong.

    The special effects are amazing, and work in a not too over-the-top comic book sort of style without seeming too fake. The sequence of Tony getting the Mark III armor put on is a true feat of CGI genius. Someone in some magazine said it seemed too much like Transformers at the end, but I fail to see how that's a bad thing since that movie is amazing as well. The scene with Tony flying with the F-22 Raptors is great to look at, and funny to boot.

    The music is also great, and the soundtrack is a must have for fans of rock music. Utilizing very few acoustic strings(Violin, Cello ect.) and relying more on electric guitars and bass with a really hard rock drumming gives this film it's mood. Seriosuly, Iron Man is a metal movie and it needed a metal soundtrack. Best of all, there's no trendy crap-rock like found on the soundtracks of Transformers and Spider Man. The last two tracks on the CD are passes, but hey that's oly 2 out of like 18 or something.

    In the end this is a spectacular summer movie, and I can't wait for it to hit blu-ray(i'm already drooling just thinking about that). If this was any indication of what this summer has to offer then it's a safe bet that we're going to have on hell of a summer. A must see.


  • The best historical movie ever made? Yeah, sure....let's go with that.

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    Mel Brooks has a way with words, and music, and dancing, and just about everything he touches....does that sound dirty to you too? Good, it's not just me then. So what happens when this man gets his hands on some of the biggest events in human history? Hilarity ensues, that's what.

    The film covers several major events in the span of humanity: the dawn of man, the stone age, Moses bringing the commandments, the roman empire, the last supper, the Spanish inquisition, and the French revolution. All of these are covered with your standard Brooks' type of humor: bad sex jokes galore in Rome, Moses dropping a tablet of the original 15 commandments, someone using "Jesus" as a swear at the last supper and a whole cycle of "What?".

    The Spanish inquisition, on the other hand, is by far the most memorable of the vignettes. It's not very long, but it's toe tappingly good! Yeah, it's a song and dance number stlyed like a broadway show. The inquisitors sing and dance and torture all at the same time, talk about multi-tasking. The song is also just so damn catchy, and I even ahve it saved on my computer for when I need a good laugh.

    The acting is your standard Brooks' tounge in cheek sarcasm and wit. It's not a bad thing, because his writing makes it work so well.

    So this is another classic spoof from Mr. Brooks, and another classic film.

    Keep an eye out for my review of "History of the World: Part 2", featureing Hitler on Ice, and Jews in Space! Coming this fall.

  • A spoof to top all others

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    Spaceballs  (1987)

    I am one of the biggest nerds around, and the original "Star Wars" trilogy is one of my biggest nerdisms(wait, is that a word?). So you think someone who gets into arguments over who would win in a fight between Darth Vader and Captian Kirk would take his prized movies as a godsend, and I do. However I also happen to have this thing called a sense of humor, and Mel Brooks' "Spaceballs" tickels my funnybone(oh god, the cliches!) and then some.

    Now any idiot could spoof sci-fi classics like "Star Wars" and "Planet of the Apes"(Planet of the Grapes could net you millions!), but Mel Brooks does it in a way that not only satires the films but also pays homage to them with subtle jabs.

    Let us not forget the iconic dialouge this movie has, and the great lines it presents. "I knew it, i'm surrounded by assholes", "Spaceballs the Flamerthrower! The kids love that one", and the famous:
    Dark Helmet: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former room-mate.
    Lone Star: So what's that make us?
    Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing!
    Those are by far my favorite lines from the film, and some of the best in cinema if you ask me.

    This whole film just shows Mel Brook's talent for satire and witty writing, and every scene gives a sense of respect at the same time to the source material.

    Needless to say, the acting in this film is spot on to what they needed. Rick Moranis plays the villianous Dark Helmet with a surprising wit and tounge in cheek attitude, but he also plays the most incompitent villan ever. I think that's why his character is so likeable. And let's not forget John Candy as Barf, the heroic Mog. The stupid dog puns that he's able to spit out add a sense of simple familiarity to the character.

    So please, for the love of all things awesome, see this film if you haven't. I just about killed my friend when she said she had never seen it, but she is now one of those who has basked in it's glory.


  • Racism covered from the other side of the spectrum

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    "American History X" is a movie about racism, and anyone who knows me(or read my review of Spike Lee's "Do the Right Thing") knows how I feel about movies that try to seem intellectual and edgy by covering racism. This movie, however, covers it in the sense of a family trying to stop it, and to top everything on it's a white family.

    So how do you take a movie about an older brother who goes to jail as a Neo-Nazi jerk who kills two people in his fornt yard(and commits other crimes as seen in flashbacks) and make it touching and profound? Add in a little brother who's following in his footsteps.

    The plot may come across as a little thin(yeah, we get it, people are racist), but this doesn't bother me so much with this film because it shows the other side of things, it shows the reasoning that these people have for being the way they are(and promptly shows how twisted and vile it is). But it also focuses less on a "White people are all racist pigs" aspect and more on a "Ideals can be easy to corrupt" view. By showing the leader of the Neo-Nazi group as a man who uses the kids to his own sick agenda, you get an idea of the fact that these kids aren't really bad.....just misguided fools following the words of a psychopath.

    The cinimatography in the film lends to a simple, yet compelling, idea. Using both color and black and white shots(color for current, black and white for the past) adds a new aspect. In a film about racism and the devides of skin color and ideas, the black and white shows how everything is really shaded in gray. It's a neat touch, and I like it.

    The only things I dislike about this movie are the somewhat thin plot, the idea that Derek has become some informant for the cops and not explaining it, and the ending.

    So unless you're a member of the KKK, or a Neo-Nazi, or just some closed minded dolt then you should see, and enjoy, this film. It gives a new look at racism, but keeps the pont there in the end.


  • More like "AWESOME PARK", am I right?

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    Jurassic Park  (1993)

    Holy crap, has it really been 15 years since this came out? You mean to tell me I was 7 when this came out? Wow, I feel kind of old all of a sudden.

    So "Jurassic Park", where do I begin with this movie? This is, by all means, one of the single greatest survival-thriller-action movies ever made. The combination of thrilling action and dinosaurs just sets this apart from most anything else out, sure the sequels were both pretty bad but they don't count anymore.

    First of all, the acting in this movie is stupendous on all accounts. Sam Jackson, Sam Neill, Laura Dern, and Richard Attenborough all give stellar performances. Even the kids who play Lexi and Tim give great performances and set the bar(even though both of them have sort of fallen from the face of the Earth). And lest we forget the big stars of the movie, the Dinosaurs themselves.

    Speaking of those Dinosaurs, how awesome are those things? The CGI may seem a little dated, but it still holds so strong even all these years later. Come to think of it, it looks more convincing than some other movies i've seen since the turn of the century(I, Robot for example). The scene where the T-Rex chases the jeep down the road is still an impressive specticale of visual magic, and credit must be given to the masters at ILM. The anamatronics are equally amazing, and to this day remain some of the most realistic robots and puppets i've ever seen in my life. The sick Triceratops still makes me gasp in wonder at the effects the pulled off.

    And let us not forget the amazing soundtrack by John Williams. The theme song alone(like so many of Williams' previous works) captures the imagination and is easy to notice anywhere. It's like Jaws or Star Wars, you just know that song.

    So what is bad about this film? Well to nit pick a little bit, it's got some vast differences from the book. But hey, what novel adaptation(Sin City excluded) is truely faithful to the book in the end?

    Either way, this is one of the best films of the 90's, or the century, or of ever. Watching it brings back fond memories of my childhood and my eccentric quest to become a palientologist.

  • Is this a movie about racing?

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    What happened to racing films? Where did we lose our way? How did we go from "Days of Thunder" to things like "Fast and the Furious"(which calling it a racing film is a big stretch and giving it too much credit) and "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby"?

    So let's talk about the latter, shall we? According to "Talladega Nights" all NASCAR drivers and fans are nothing but moronic rednecks from the deep south, giving the film a very one demensional feel with a "HURR HURR, REDNECKS ARE STUPID!" vibe. Will Ferrell's character(Ricky Bobby) has no depth and comes across as just a stupid southern boy(he names his kids "Walker" and "Texas ranger" for god's sake!). Even the other characters just come off as nothing more than yamering white trash drunks(with the exception of Ricky's pit cheif and Sacha Baron Cohen's French import driver).

    Speaking of Sacha Baron Cohen, this guy just ain't that funny. He does a somewhat decent job here as the French driver Jean Girard. The only problem is the film relies on such low-brow humor that they made his accent so thick that everything sounds like he's talking into a pillow(I won't use the line from the film because it's just stupid sounding). This ruined what could have been a good character in this film.

    So are there any good characters? Yes, Michael Clarke Duncan gives a good role as the sort of voice of reason and Ricky's pit cheif. Another mention goes to Amy Adams, even if she does have a small part she is a wonderfully talented actress, and damn good looking to boot.

    So how do I, as a NASCAR fan, stand on this film? While the racing scenes are fairly accurate to the real thing(with drafting and what not), the whole "NASCAR is for rednecks, HURR HURR" thing will forever bring this movie down. Don't  bother with this, unless you're a closed minded moron.

  • A good film, but not the best by any stretch.

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    Juno  (2007)

    I'm the type of guy who's sort of on the fence when it comes to teen comedy-dramas that involve people getting pregnant, simply because it's been done before. Maybe it's also got to do with the fact that I knew so many girls in highschool who were pregnant that it's made me take a sick and twisted view of teen pregnancy issues. Yet something about 2007's "Juno" made me forget most of my quarrels with this style.

    As you know, Juno(Ellen Page) gets pregnant by Bleeker(Michael Cera), and goes off to find a good family to give the child to(Jason Bateman and Jennifer Garner). Ok so the plot is pretty thin, but that's to be expected when you think about most films these days.

    There's a lot of talk on the ol' interwebs about how this movie is nothing more than "worthless hipster bullshit", which makes no sense to me. Most people are just bitching about it because it was the big popular movie, just like they did with "Transformers" and "The Matrix". People online will find anything to complain about so that they can seem cool, popular, and intellectual. Don't listen to these poeple, but please listen to me.

    Ellen Page gives a good(not great) performance as a semi-geeky girl who has no quarrels spitting out pop-culture references whenever able. Sure there's some things that seem a little odd and out of place, but people bring up that "She's supposed to be 16, no 16 year old talks like that". That's a BS argument, because I was spewing pop-culture satire and the likes when I was that age(and that was only 6 years ago mind you). I like the fact that she makes a Thundercats joke(and I don't want to hear the whole "she got the line wrong! RAAAAAGGGGEEE!" crap because you're a moron if you can't just accept a fun reference). Michael Cera gives a somewhat half-assed performance as Bleeker, but that seems more due to the fact that his part really isn't as big as one might expect. In fact, I think Jennifer Garner has more screen time than Cera does. I can't blame it all on him, but in the long run Michael Cera is sort of a one trick pony, kind of like Rachel Dratch...that same tone and facial expression no matter the role.

    J.K. Simmons(of Spiderman fame) does an exceptional job as Juno's father, with the sort of wit and charm you'd expect from him(and the line "I'm gonna' punch that Bleeker kid in the weiner" is great).

    The music is a big downside to this film. it's all acoustic "indie"-pop junk that could have been taken out n favor of something to better suit the personalities of the characters. Sure there's a Sonic Youth song in there, but who even likes Sonic Youth anymore? Nobody, that's who.

    So in the long run this is an enjoyable film, if you don't mind some missed character development, a thin plot, and some strange lines(yes, even I admit that "honest to blog?" is fake as all get out), and a few missed jokes. Just don't let the whiney idiots that lurk about the lands of the internet deter you with all their anti-"hipster"(what the hell does "hipster" even mean?) junk.

  • Silent classic that holds it's ground

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    The General  (1927)

    "The General" is another one of those silent classics(like "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari") that seems to hold it's own 81 years after it's debut. I won't go in to the details of the plot, needless to say it's a slapstick comedy taking place during the United States Civil War(yes, other countries have had civil wars too).

    The comedic aspects of this film are great, and the slapstick works well. In fact, it tends to work better than most modern slapstick attempts. It's really simple stuff too, a guy falling through a hole in a bridge, or tossing a plank of wood over the train car he's trying to get it into. Yet it made me laugh out loud, which is something this movie should be proud of.

    The acting isn't really something you can comment on when it comes to silent films, because it's not like you can really get into a character if they have no voice right? So i'm going to avoid trying to comment on this for fear of being yelled at by the mavens.

    Overall? A good laugh, Buster Keaton really knows(knew, whatever) how to get people laughing. Even if you don't like silent films, this is good for it's lack of dialouge.

  • Classic Film Noir, classic goodness

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    The Third Man  (1949)

    War is hell, and the second world war drove that point home in Europe. Vienna is one such place that took a beating during the war. This crumbling, war torn, damp, conflict riddled hell hole(no offence Vienna, you're beautiful now) is the backdrop to the 1949 film noir classic "The Third Man". As I've said before, some older films don't hold up too well, but others still stand out decades after(we're talking 59 years already for this one). This is one such film.

    The film is a mystery(what, a film noir as a mystery? Crazy, I know), where a man who comes to Vienna to work for a friend is instead left to figure out what happened after his death. The different occuping armies(United States, Britian, France, and Russian) are all playing a part somewhere along the road, and none are too keen on playing well with others it seems.


    The acting is very well played, Joseph Cotten plays the protaginist Holly Martins(I kid you not, he's a guy named Holly) with passion, humor, and a style that seems all his own. Orson Welles plays his recently dead buddy Harry Lime, giving that wonderful Welles touch that we've seen him add to characters so often("Citizen Kane", and even Unicron in the 1986 "Transformers" animated film). Another honorable mention goes to Trevor Howard as Major Calloway, he just seemed so confident, yet confused and over the top at the same time.

    The cinimatography  adds a feeling of depth as well, with city streets only so visible  and almost every cornor shrouded in darkness. The ending scenes in the sewer are almost haunting as vocies echo from the darkness, and nobody's quite sure where the others are.

    The music is on a whole different level, using some odd multi-stringed insturment that I cna't recall the name of(but it has something like 8 million strings). This is the only insturment heard in the entire film, which gives the film a somewhat laid back feel amongst all the deception, lies, and attempted murder. It could have taken away from the overall feel of the film, but really it gives it a great little sense of humor.

    In the end, this is another one of those classics that I just have to say "go, watch, now!". The acting is top notch, the music is fun, and the whole thing just rings of greatness. No wonder it's considered one of the best film noir's ever.

  • I'm singin' a review! What a glorious thing to do!

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    Ok, not really. I think people would freak out if I sang this entire review, and that has nothing to do with my total lack of singing skill. Anyway, we all know the 1952 classic "Singin' in the Rain" and the song that goes along with it.

    The plot follows Don Lockwood(brilliantly portrayed by the immortal Gene Kelly) and his co-star Lina Lamont(Jean Hagen) as their carrers in the silent film industry are challenged by the new technology on the block, the talkie. To stand up to this new threat Don, his best friend Cosmo(Donal O'Connor), and his love interest Kathy(Debbie Reynolds) decide to make a musical out of Lockwood and Lamont's flop of a first talkie.

    This film is called a classic for a reason, because it sets a standard not easily met by most. The last few years have seen the semi-resurgance of the musical genre(Hairspray and Sweeny Todd being the tow biggest offenders), but nothing seems to hold a flame to this film. Now i'm not a big fan of musicals, but this movie is just so much fun to watch. The songs are captivating(the title track being the most obvious along with "make 'em laugh"), however the whole "Broadway Meoldy" seemed to go on a little too long. The dancing is even fun to watch(in particular, Cosmo and Don at an alliteration coach and they start danicing in his office...thus scuffing the hell out of the guy's floors).

    The acting is top notch, and the singing adds a feeling of depth to the characters and seems to give the actors a good chance to show off thier pipes. Gene Kelly gives a mesmerizing performance, and Donald O'Connor's song and dance number "Make 'em Laugh" was spectacular(considering they had no special effects to speak of, those stunts are impressive).

    Overall, this is a must see. Even if you're like me and very skeptical of musicals(something about throwing songs in to advance the plot randomly irks me I guess). This is a great movie, regardless of your views on the song and dance thing.

  • One of the best foriegn war flicks EVER.

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    Ah, the Korean "war". The wonderful times when we were paranoid about Communist and not "terrorists", but enough polital babble, this is a film review! So what movies do we have about this "war" between the two Koreas? Uh, well we have M*A*S*H. Yeah, that's about it. But now we have Tae Guk Gi(which is Korean for "The Brotherhood of War"). The film follows two brothers living in south Korea who get drafted to fight the "Red Menace"(yeah, there's going to be a lot of political jokes/puns so get used to it). So they go off to fight, and it all goes down hill from there...well, for the characters at least.

    This film is a masterpiece of the art that we call movies. The acting is above standard with the actors showing real terror and care throughout the hardships that is war. The music was well orchestrated and fit every scene very nicely, and the actual combat sequences really drive the point that "war is hell" home. The best part, and this might just sound a wee bit odd, is the way this film touches it's viewers emotionally. This is, by far, the saddest movie i've ever seen. I'll give you an idea for it, on a scale of 1-10 Bambi's mom being shot is like a 6, this whole movie is a 28 1/2. It's been a long while since a movie made me tear up without it being because I was laughing(Superbad), but the scene when the mother is chasing the train as the two boys leave is so sad because she can't talk and she's sort of psudo-screaming to them.

    So what was bad about this movie? Well, it again sort of presses the whole "Cummunisim is evil" deal that drives me up the wall. But this is a film made in South Korea about a war where they were "invaded" by the North Koreans. So the political agenda can seem a little over bearing at times when you watch it, especially if you're like me and think the whole "cold war" was the stupidest thing to ever take place(until the mighty "war on terror" took it's spot at the top of the "big dumb paranoid mistakes" list).

    If you can get past the obvious agenda, this is an enjoyable, albiet sad, movie. Check it out if you don't mind the subtitles, or if you speak Korean.

  • To be or not to, wait...this isn't a Shakspeare movie?

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    Darren Aronofsky is known through the film world as the guy who made the movie 3.18462387343(or whatever the hell Pi is). Yes, that is a math joke, thank you for noticing. In case you don't get math jokes, he directed a movie called "Pi". So what do we have here? Sweet, it's going to be...no...hold on. I'm being told it's not going to be Shakespeare, instead we get a movie about....drugs? What? Oh come on, seriously? Alright, it's a movie about drugs.

    So yeah, it's a moive about drugs and addiction and people having no grip on reality. Mostly it focuses around A mother who wants to be on some TV thing(ellen Burstyn), her deadbeat drug peddling son Harry(Jared Leto), his crackhead girlfreind Marion(Jennifer Connelly), and his best buddy/partner in crime Tyrone(Marlon Wayans).

    The film lacks one big key element, good acting. And a second big element, good actors. I'm sorry, but how did Jennifer Conelly go from David friggin' Bowie to the whiney little moron from Thirty Seconds to Mars? Hm, Ziggy Stardust(awesome), Jared Leto(should die in a fire)...tough choice. Above all else, the movie's characters lack real depth. They all seem sort of hollow after the first 20-30 minutes of viewing. And the mother is particularly anoyying, and after a while you kind of hope that her firdge really will eat her alive(you may have to see the movie to get that one).

    Things become very repedative, which I get was part of the point all along but it still gets to be a pain after a while, when everyone starts doing all their different drugs. After a while the constant reuse of scenes doesn't seem innovative, it seems cheap. It's like a cartoon using the same pannel 32 times for different scenes.

    So what did I like about the movie? The soundtrack, it is spectaular. It's the best part of the whole thing, and it doesn't get boring at all. The Kronos Quartet provide strings for it and give the film some atmosphere and depth. Problem is, the charcters should be filing the role of adding depth.

    All in all, if you're into the drug movie scene and enjoy the same thing voer and over again then this is for you. I'd just go grab a copy of the soundtrack and leave it at that.


  • Spike Lee, doing the thing he does right....get it...it's a play on words.

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    Oh Spike lee, you're movies, err....joints, sorry, are always worth a good watch. "Mo' Better Blues"(1990) being a personal favorite of mine. But lets go to a year before that, to 1989 and "Do the Right Thing".

    The movie follows a sorted group of characters, including pizza boy Mookie(Lee), his boss Sal(Danny Aiello), his two sons(John Turturro and Richard Edson), and the best DJ ever(played by one mister Samuel L. Jackson). It takes place on the hottest day of the year in New York City(Brooklyn to be exact). It's no surprise that a Spike Lee joint takes place in NYC, god forbid he make a movie someplace else. Of course this joint, like all his others, deals mostly with racial tensions. Because of this somewhat standard idea for him, the plot's a little thin.

    The acting isn't great, but it's better than good. It's sort of "Quasi-Great", if you will. The actors are able to portray the characters they were supposed to be, and interacted well with each other on screen, but because of the thin premise of the plot it only gets so far before it becomes another "White Devil!" movie. The only character I can say was done in a manner that made me smile profoundly was Sam Jackson's character. Playing sort of the middle man and also some what of a narrator, he just comes into his role so well.

    So, as with every Spike Lee joint, there's bound to be the big racial blow up at the end right? You bet there is. The only problem is, the movie still gives off that "White Devil!" vibe. I'll leave you to read the plot synopsis to understand everything in between, but needless to say a black charcter gets killed by white cops after getting into a fight with Sal and then the other black characters destroy Sal's shop, including his own employee Mookie. Problem is, I don't see how Sal did anything wrong by having rules for his store. Look, i'm not going to get into a debate about racism and ethnic devides here, just giving my two cents.

    Overall, it's a good movie and well worth at least one viewing. Check it out sometime, just don't expect anything spectacular.

  • Wait...what?

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    Sometimes someone making a movie will get way too far ahead of themself, or they may just not even be in the same zip code anymore. Well, Michel Gondry is just that type of film maker and "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" is just that type of bad film.

    So where, oh where, does this moive go wrong? Well, that's such a long list that even i'm not smart enough to be able to remember it all. I can tell you a few good flaws with this film, and i'm sure i'll get flamed for saying this too, but bring it on. First off, the acting. It's uninspired and bland. The characters have no real feel to them, no demension, no humanity. Add on top of that the bad stereotypical character types(i.e. Joel and Celmentine being the socially awkward outcast types), and you've got a great idea on paper. But hey, Communisim worked on paper too. Joel is such a quiet and subdued role, and just seems to boring that it made me cry a little inside to see Jim Carrey in that spot. Again the character, and thus the acting involved, are uninspried and bland. Clementine is the exact opposite of Joel, though. She's loud, outgoing, with anoyyingly bright colored hair and an attitude(that girl has to have bi-polar disorder or something to have those mood swings) that matches it. So one has to wonder, how the hell could two people who are so very different from one another ever ever look at each other in a romantic light? The rule of "opposites attract" only applies to magnetics and quantum physics. Speaking of quantum physics, how about this "plot"? They decide to have each other erased from the others memories to avoid anything weird, right? So how is it that at the end of the film, they still know who the other person is? That's simply not possible by any laws of the universe. If something is erased from your mind, you don't remember it again. Now, if you get a bump on the head and forget something for a while that's different. To have your mind systematically wiped clean with some over the top machine would not allow such a thing to happen. Laws are there for a reason, and it's not so that hacks like Gondry can break them at his damn desire.

    So, is there actually anything I did like about this movie? Ok, Kate Winslet is a fairly decent actress who's not exactly hard on the eyes, and there's a scene where Kirsten Dunst is dancing around in her underwear. There, I gave you the two good things about this film. Be happy I could even find that many. Avoid this film, avoid it like the bloody plauge.

  • A frightening film of realism and greatness

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    Children of Men  (2006)

    Where does one start when describing Alfonso Cuarón's epic thriller "Children of Men"? Well there really isn't a bad place to start, actually. This film is frightening and moving at the same time, but it's also laced with enough subtile touches about history to make you think.

    So what all is laced into this movie? Many historical notes, some past and some present, can be seen if one looks hard enough. Some good examples are:
    -The scene where Miriam(Pam Ferris) is taken from the bus at Bexhill you see a man with a hood over his head, in the exact same pose as the infamous "hooded man" from the Abu Ghraib prison torture pictures.
    -The song playing when Miriam is taken off the bus is "Arbeit Macht Frei" which means "Work shall set you free", this was written over the entrance to the infamous Nazi death camp at Auschwitz.
    -Pablo Picasso's "Guernica" painting(which was an expression of disgust at the Nazi bombing of Gernika, Spain, during the Spanish Civil War) is seen twice, when Theo enteres the dining room at the Battersea powerstation and again as Theo and Kee escape Bexhill in the rowboat.

    Director Alfonso Cuarón didn't even read the book(by P.D. James) on which his film is based, he had his co-writer, Tim Sexton, read it instead. This film is also filled with one-shots(long shots without a single break), the longest being the siege of Bexhill, which clocked in at 6 minutes and 18 seconds. "we don't want to favor character over the environment, we want to keep a balance. And that means that you don't do close-ups, because then you are favoring the character over the environment." says Cuarón. He also said If you are going through life and something happens, you don't have the luxury of going , ‘Stop, stop, guys, and let me get a close-up!’" These long shots add a touch of class in a weird way, and “keep a balance” as Cuaró n puts it.

    The casting was even done in the somewhat unorthodox way that Cuaró n seems to go about making his films. “Ever since we were writing the script, we used to refer to Jasper as the ‘Michael Caine’ character” he says.

    But all this innovation, creation, and all around great film making is for naught if nobody likes it. Thankfully this isn’t a film that went un-noticed, it was nominated for 27 different awards(including 3 Oscars) and won 17 awards(including the Saturn Award for Best Science Fiction film). Even ignoring the awards and praise this is a must see for any intellectual or even someone who wants to expand their horizons on humanity, or if you just want to see a sci-fi movie without laser guns.


  • Epic? Yes, I do think that's the word.

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    Transformers  (2007)

    Ah, to be a kid again. Well, at least to be at the age I was when I first fell in love with the original animated series of Transformers. I loved that show, grew up with, even collected all the toys I could get my little hands on. So when they announced plans for a live action film for the summer of '07 you can only imagine how delighted I was. Then they announced it would be directed by Michael Bay and Produced by Steven Speilberg, slight doubt managed to creep it's way into my mind at that point. But now that the movie is actually out, and i've gotten a chance to see it, I retract my doubt 100%.

    Let's face it, everyone knows what the transformers are by this point. They're alien robots who can turn into cars, planes, boats, ect. and then back into robots and then kick the shit out of each other. Well, that's the perfect idea for a movie if there ever was one. So as a fan of the original series and the classic 1986 animated film, my opinion may seem a little biased. Well trust me, even if there si sokme bias it's very minimal because I review these films with an open mind to all their flaws. Even some of my favorite films have gotten put down(just read some of my previous reviews), so my bias is almost none.

    Plot: If you didn't know it yet, there actually is a story to this film. That's right, there's a plot-line and characters. It's not just robots kickin' the crap out fo one another for a few hours. The plot is pretty simple. The transformers are a race of bio-mechanical beings from the planet Cybertron. They're devided into two warring factions: The Autobots, led by Optimus Prime and the Decepticons, led by bad-ass extrodanare Megatron. The transformers get all their life from this supercomputer like object called the allspark, thus why they're fighting. So the allspark is hurled into space, lost to both sides. So both sides send troops to find it. The allspark crashlands on Earth, and Megatron si the first to find out. That's millions upon millions of years ago, so fast foward to the year 2007 or so and the story picks up. Sam Witwicky is a highschool kid who goes out to buy his first car. He picks himself up a yellow 1978 Chevy Camero, which turns out to be the Autobot soldier named Bumblebee. Bumblebee sends out a signal to the other transformers around to let them know he's found the location of the allspark, and soon several asteroids crash into the Earth. These turn out to be several more transformers. Soon Sam, Mikaela(the girl of his dreams) and the Autobots now on Earth have to locate the allspark and stop the Decepticons before they can use it. But the government has stepped in, and some crazy secrets are about to be reveiled.

    So, how does the acting stack up? Actually very well. Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox play Sam and Mikaela very well, giving the story some humanity. Shia does a great job between frightened teen, bumbling lovestruck fool, and eventually a hero he never knew he could be. Although Mikaela isn't really fleshed out nearly as much, she's still a good character to have around to balance out the testosterone flying around. She's mostly just eye candy in this one though, although as a guy I can't really say that's a bad thing. This film could have very well done without Tyrese Gibson yelling "Bring it!" at a giant robot scorpion, and frankly some of the humor in the film seemed forced. Many of the jokes are actually well played out(like a giant robot peeing on a guy), but most just seem like filler.

    As for the transformers themselves, bad-ass is all that comes to mind. The voice acting is better than I could ahve expected. The great Peter Cullen reprises his role as Optimus Prime, a role he hasn't done since the original TV show ended back in the late 1980's. Frank Welker, however, doesn't come back to play Megatron. So who do you replace him with? Hugo Weaving, and dear god there isn't a more evil voice around I think. Megatron's voice is deep and bellowing, almsot satanic in it's growl. I don't think the devil could have done a better job with it. The other transformers are also equally voiced well, expecially Barricade. He may only talk once, but if you were in Sam's shoes you'd most likely shit yourself(minus the fact a cop car jsut turned into a giant robot and tried to kill you).

    Many people have complained about the new designs of the transformer characters, but those people are morons. The characters look much more organic, less boxy. Optimus Prime with hot-rob flames is just too cool, and I still wonder if i'm cool enough to have been worthy to lay eyes on him. Many of the characters got some pretty extreme facelifts for the film. Starscream is now the small F-22 Raptor combat jet, so there's not a lot to work with. He looks like a primate crossbred with a bird of some kind in his robot form, with large shoulders and bird-like legs. But he's still menacing none-the-less. Bumblebee, hoever, got the best makeover. He's no long a lame-ass VW bug, but a 1978/2008 Camero. Several reasons are to play for this. A) VW refuses to have any of their products depicted as war machines since they did build cars, tanks, planes, and other assorted wepaons for the Nazi's during WW2 and the German people beleive they can erase history. B) Michael Bay said there's no room in his films for a bug, and wanted no connection between his films and Herbie the love bug. C) VW Bug = suck-ass, Camero = bad-ass. But he none the less looks awesome.

    So a lot of people are wondering "It's Michael Bay, how can he screw this one up?" Actually, he didn't. He did an aweosme job translating a kids toy from the 80's into a bad-ass super thrill ride for 2007. Other than some slow moments, and forced jokes he did a great job. Besides, people have got to quit being so harsh on the guy.

    The soundtrack, on the other ahnd, is my biggest complaint. The score by Lorne Balfe is good, but the main soundtrack is just terrible. Follwoing the same idea as Spiderman they took the most popular(and by crazy coincidence most terrible) alt-rock music they could find and mixed it it. I'm sorry folks, anything by Linkin Park after 2001 just sucks. If they had ditched the crap-n-roll soundtrack they woulda' been fine, but they had to try for the same thing as everyone else.

    So, think my opinion is still too biased? Ok, go ask my buddy Greg. He never even watched the cartoon and still thought it was an awesome movie(although i'm not sure if he'll put up his review anytime soon).

    So, how does this film fare? I gotta' say, I was blown away. I expected good things from this movie, but they took what i expected and replaced it with something even better. Other than some slow scenes, some forced humor, a few poor casting choices(Mr. Gibson, i'm lookin' at you), and a rather shitty soundtrack of mordern "rock"; this movie is awesome. Take those things into account and it's still not enough to drop this movie from a must see.

  • A true fairly tale for the ages.

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    Pan's Labyrinth  (2006)

    Guillermo del Toro has a way with films, albeit a very creepy way. Anyone who has seen his previous work(Hellboy in particular comes to mind) will understand his tendency for over the top and very bizzare stylings, and Pan's Labyrinth is no exception from his mold.

    The story telling here is top notch, following a young girl who finds out she may the princess of a mystical kingdom. There's a catch, though, as her mother has just married a sadistic and violent Captain for the Spanish military during the Spanish Civil War in 1944. As the fantasy world she may be entitled to and the real world begin to clash, things start to get out of hand. The film draws some references from classic fairy tales by the brothers Grimm, and even from early Greek mythology. The "you must complete three tasks to prove your worth' story screams the tale of Hercules, but not in a blantant theft type of way.

    The film is told more through setting, be it weather, lighting, or just constant symbolism. Circles play a big role in this film as far as being symbolic(potatoes, the full moon, ect.). Rain is also a big part of the film in a way, as it seems like it's never sunny when something big is about to happen.

    Because del Toro likes to tell a story through visuals there's not exactly what amny would consider a lot of dialouge. There's talking to advance the plot and get names mentioned, but there's a good amount of scenes where not a word is uttered and yet you still know exactly what's going on.

    The set design for the labyrinth, and the many magical places that our young princess visit is simply amazing. Dark and light hues mix perfectly, and architecture sends a clear message.

    A great film worth seeing a few times, provided you don't mind having to read the sub-titles. A suggestion for anyone who enjoys del Toro's work.

  • Classic Welles, classic cinema.

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    Citizen Kane  (1941)

    Orson Welles is noted as a legend of American cinema, as a innovator of films in general, and as a hero of the big screen even when he plays a psudeo-villian.

    The films follow Charles Foster Kane(Welles) as told from the view of his friends and family after his death, as a reporter embarks to discover to origin of "Rosebud" Kane's last word.

    The film comes across in a broken fashion because everyone seems to have different views on who Kane was, but it also allows the viewer a look into who Kane might have been. Opinions come from many a people, his ex-wife(Dorothy Comingore), his adoptive father(George Coulouris), his best friend and business consultant(Everett Sloane), and many more. The different view points give the viewer many different ways to interpret Kane as a person, but also shows a critical point missed in many films: everyone has their own point of view. This is critical because Kane is portrayed as a monster by some, and as a genius by others.

    Considering it's age(67 years), this film holds up astoundingly well in terms of plot relevance. In this day and age of corporate greed galore, this film really resonates. Although Kane himself isn't always presented as a corporate monster, his character does ring bells of Enron executives.

    It's a film with a great narrative style, great acting, and a story that will always hold true. This is a must see for anyone who claims to be a fan of movies.

  • Back, forth, back again.

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    Memento  (2000)

    Sometimes a film tries too hard to be different, to be unique, to stand apart from the rest. Christopher Nolan's "Memento", however, does it with a brilliant touch.

    The narrative takes a whole new and offbeat twist by telling the film backwards as our "hero" Leonard(Guy Pearce) tries to put together the mystery of who killed his wife. Along the way he encounters Teddy(Joe Pantoliano), who is trying to help him put everything together. He also meets Natalie(Carrie-Anne Moss) who seemingly helps him out of the kindness in her heart.

    The film is broken in it's narrative style, with bits of the story repeating in a sort of over-lap fashion that allows the viewer to better put things together. There is, however, a part of the film to goes forward as we see Leonard talking on the phone, and these sequences are shown in a black and white vouyeristic view. At the "end" of the film the two narratives finally collide into one semi-coherient story.

    The scenes of Leonard talking on the phone give the viewer a sort of god-like feeling as we look down on him and his life. The other scenes, the ones going backwards, use a much more "hands on" camera feel. The view is shakey and uneven and gives a sense of being there with Leonard as things occur.

    Because of the broken and reversed narrative styles the film can be a little hard to follow, so it's advised to see it more than once if you plan to fully understand it all.


  • A top subject of silent horror

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    Some silent films don't age well, in fact some just vanish. Hell let's face it, some modern films(Matrix sequels anyone?) don't age well. However, the classic silent horror film "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari" is one of those films that's still good.

    This is a tough film to review because there's so many companies who have restored it, so many soundtracks to cover, and just way too many different versions. So i'm going to give a quick review on the version I saw.

    Visually, this film stunned. The tinting used really sets the mood for many of the scenes, which is good since they can't do it verbally. Hues of yellow, blue, black, grey, all of them set the chilling tone for this film.

    Set construction may have you checking your pulse to make sure that you