Movie Games

Best Synopses on Spout

If you find a synopsis so enjoyable it's almost a work of art in itself, put it here.

I got this idea from Puhnner, who tagged Werckmeister Harmoniak with  THESYNOPSISMUSTBEMEANTASAJOKE. I love this one, it's like a turn of a screw, starting out normal and becoming increasingly bizarre.

Bela Tarr follows up on his seven-hour epic Satantango, considered by some critics as one of the finest films of the 1990s, with this elegant, haunting work about the cycles of violence that have dogged Eastern European history. Jancos (Lars Rudolph) is a wide-eyed innocent who works as an occasional postal worker and as a caretaker for Mr. Ezster (Peter Fitz). An outsider and a visionary, he marvels at the miracles of creation, from the planets rotating in the heavens to the sundry animals on earth. One day, a circus featuring jars full of medical anomalies and a massive dead whale entombed in a corrugated metal trailer visits Jancos' economically depressed village. Another more sinister attraction is a shadowy figure dubbed "The Prince," whose nihilist rants incite the town's disaffected to riot. Not long afterwards, Mrs. Ezster (Hanna Schygulla) cajoles her estranged husband to join a citizen's action group against the circus, threatening to move back into his house if he doesn't play along. Tension in the town builds until, after one of The Prince's hate-filled speeches, throngs of angry men with blunt instruments ransack and brutalize a men's hospital ward. When the dust clears, lives are irrevocably changed. This film was screened at the 2000 Toronto Film Festival. ~ Jonathan Crow, All Movie Guide

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Who can resist seeing Iguana after reading this?

In this drama, a misshapen sailor with the features of a lizard is tormented all his life for his deformities. When he and others are marooned on an island the tables are turned and he rules them with a ruthless hand. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide

Re:Best Synopses on Spout

SkyPilot:

If you find a synopsis so enjoyable it's almost a work of art in itself, put it here.

I got this idea from Puhnner, who tagged Werckmeister Harmoniak with  THESYNOPSISMUSTBEMEANTASAJOKE. I love this one, it's like a turn of a screw, starting out normal and becoming increasingly bizarre.

Bela Tarr follows up on his seven-hour epic Satantango, considered by some critics as one of the finest films of the 1990s, with this elegant, haunting work about the cycles of violence that have dogged Eastern European history. Jancos (Lars Rudolph) is a wide-eyed innocent who works as an occasional postal worker and as a caretaker for Mr. Ezster (Peter Fitz). An outsider and a visionary, he marvels at the miracles of creation, from the planets rotating in the heavens to the sundry animals on earth. One day, a circus featuring jars full of medical anomalies and a massive dead whale entombed in a corrugated metal trailer visits Jancos' economically depressed village. Another more sinister attraction is a shadowy figure dubbed "The Prince," whose nihilist rants incite the town's disaffected to riot. Not long afterwards, Mrs. Ezster (Hanna Schygulla) cajoles her estranged husband to join a citizen's action group against the circus, threatening to move back into his house if he doesn't play along. Tension in the town builds until, after one of The Prince's hate-filled speeches, throngs of angry men with blunt instruments ransack and brutalize a men's hospital ward. When the dust clears, lives are irrevocably changed. This film was screened at the 2000 Toronto Film Festival. ~ Jonathan Crow, All Movie Guide

It's like someone made a movie about my life.

Re:Best Synopses on Spout

SkyPilot:

If you find a synopsis so enjoyable it's almost a work of art in itself, put it here.

I got this idea from Puhnner, who tagged Werckmeister Harmoniak with  THESYNOPSISMUSTBEMEANTASAJOKE. I love this one, it's like a turn of a screw, starting out normal and becoming increasingly bizarre.

Bela Tarr follows up on his seven-hour epic Satantango, considered by some critics as one of the finest films of the 1990s, with this elegant, haunting work about the cycles of violence that have dogged Eastern European history. Jancos (Lars Rudolph) is a wide-eyed innocent who works as an occasional postal worker and as a caretaker for Mr. Ezster (Peter Fitz). An outsider and a visionary, he marvels at the miracles of creation, from the planets rotating in the heavens to the sundry animals on earth. One day, a circus featuring jars full of medical anomalies and a massive dead whale entombed in a corrugated metal trailer visits Jancos' economically depressed village. Another more sinister attraction is a shadowy figure dubbed "The Prince," whose nihilist rants incite the town's disaffected to riot. Not long afterwards, Mrs. Ezster (Hanna Schygulla) cajoles her estranged husband to join a citizen's action group against the circus, threatening to move back into his house if he doesn't play along. Tension in the town builds until, after one of The Prince's hate-filled speeches, throngs of angry men with blunt instruments ransack and brutalize a men's hospital ward. When the dust clears, lives are irrevocably changed. This film was screened at the 2000 Toronto Film Festival. ~ Jonathan Crow, All Movie Guide

I've seen this movie, and this synopsis is a pretty good direct description of the actual events of the narrative.

Re:Best Synopses on Spout

I think Skypilot & I allready covered this one in a previous thread but one good turn deserves another.

Hell Comes to Frogtown (1988)

The great nuclear holocaust has come and gone, and humanity is hanging on a string. Women rule what's left, and the world is filled with giant mutant humanoid frogs who have started their own communities. Fertile human males have become one of the rarest things on Earth. This really low-budget sci-fi adventure chronicles the exploits of one of those men, the wandering loner Sam Hell (as played by former wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper). The tale begins as Hell is caught and tried for raping a woman. Realizing that he is fertile, Medtech, the organization devoted to repopulating the world, takes him and forces him to wear high-tech underwear designed to control his lusty tendencies and to keep him from squandering his seed on infertile ladies. The organization then forces him to go deep into froggy territory to bring back the fertile women stolen by the amphibian's leader. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide

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leeroy711:

I think Skypilot & I allready covered this one in a previous thread but one good turn deserves another.

Hell Comes to Frogtown (1988)

The great nuclear holocaust has come and gone, and humanity is hanging on a string. Women rule what's left, and the world is filled with giant mutant humanoid frogs who have started their own communities. Fertile human males have become one of the rarest things on Earth. This really low-budget sci-fi adventure chronicles the exploits of one of those men, the wandering loner Sam Hell (as played by former wrestler Rowdy Roddy Piper). The tale begins as Hell is caught and tried for raping a woman. Realizing that he is fertile, Medtech, the organization devoted to repopulating the world, takes him and forces him to wear high-tech underwear designed to control his lusty tendencies and to keep him from squandering his seed on infertile ladies. The organization then forces him to go deep into froggy territory to bring back the fertile women stolen by the amphibian's leader. ~ Sandra Brennan, All Movie Guide

Why would the frog's steal fertile women?! That's NASTY! And why would they send a fertile man if they are so rare? The stupidity of the film's writers is revealed by this synopsis.

Re:Best Synopses on Spout

   Actually,  Hell Comes To Frogtown  is a GREAT movie!   One of my favorites.   And Roddy Piper is one of my favorite actors...

   Here is a good review for you guys...   Now THIS guy knows how to write... 

  Anybody who thinks that  Plan 9  is the worst movie ever made has not seen  The Flesh Eaters .   Don't get me wrong...   I LOVED this movie!   What has to be the most ridiculous plot and story line in the history of motion pictures is saved by (for it's time) some of the most inventive and shocking gore effects ever seen and (again, for it's time), a fair amount of beautiful female flesh.   When a small plane is forced to land on a seemingly deserted Pacific island do to engine trouble and an approaching storm, it's occupants, an alcoholic and aging Hollywood starlet, her secretary and the rugged pilot, are greeted by a sinister German 'marine biologist' who is studying something in the water...   it turns out that this 'something' is a 'microbial bacteria' that is large enough to be seen with the naked eye and picked up with tweezers!   These 'microbes' also have the nasty habit of eating any animal (or human) flesh they come in contact with, leaving only clean skeletons remaining...  When our castaways discover an intact but stripped-clean-of-any-flesh skeleton on the beach the German scientist says "It must have been sharks..."  ...   yeah, right...   When exposed to electrocution these creatures appear to die...   only to come back to life and morph into a giant one-eyed monster!   Leading up to the infamous 'Color-Scene' in this otherwise B&W movie, when our hero learns that the only way to kill this creature is to inject it in the eye with human blood!   If all of this sounds ridiculous, trust me, it IS!   Still, for hard core horror fans like me this movie is a lot of fun!   Some of the very earliest gore-effects ever put on film and some rather attractive women exposising as much skin as possible for it's day make this one a fun ride...   recomended for those who might like this sort of thing...

                                                                 < GOR >

Re:Best Synopses on Spout

This one's pretty amazing:

Lovedolls Superstar (1986)

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Who can resist this George Romero classic:

George Romero's The Crazies involves a biochemical warfare virus code-named "Trixie" that gets into the water supply of Evans City, Pennsylvania. It has two equally unpleasant effects, either killing its victims outright or driving them hopelessly insane. The military descends on the town like a plague of locusts, quarantining the area and dragging the frightened citizens from their homes to be corralled at the local high school while the "powers that be" figure out what to do. Human interest revolves around firefighting Nam vet David and his pregnant wife Judy, who try to escape the quarantine, the virus, and the militant redneck locals whom Romero portrays as even more fearsome than the soldiers. There's also an infected father and daughter, played by Richard Liberty (Day of the Dead) and pretty Lynn Lowry (Shivers), who gives the film's best performance as an innocent waif who mourns the passing of her own sanity. ~ Robert Firsching, All Movie Guide

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Got one!

The Bed Sitting Room (1969)

"The specter of atomic warfare raises its head once again in this bizarre 1969 black comedy, directed by Richard Lester and hatched from the mind of twisted British comic Spike Milligan. England lays in ruins after World War III, and a number of dazed survivors try to carry on as if nothing is wrong, even when one woman (Rita Tushingham) announces that she is seventeen months pregnant, and others begin to mutate into parrots, wardrobes, and bed-sitting rooms. The often slapstick comedy provides a surreal foreground for the bleak, devastated settings, portions of which were filmed in actual, environmentally blasted industrial areas in Wales. The comedy duo of Dudley Moore and Peter Cook appear as hapless government officials, while Marty Feldman makes his screen debut in a film that could best be described as England's answer to Dr. Strangelove."

I just put this movie on a list I'm making of Post-Apocalyptic films, got any suggstions?