Filmgaming

Recasting THE PRINCESS BRIDE (1987)

This week, we're recasting The Princess Bride (1987). It's a classic that would be a travesty for some money hungry Hollywood exec to try and remake, which is exactly why we're imagining a remake. I hope a new cast comes out of this that makes me salivate for a remake, but I predict this will be an exercise in imagining how bad a remake of this movie could screw up.

This is a FIlmspotting contest and a winner will be announced on the Filmspotting podcast April 18, 2008.

 Extra credit goes to anyone who casts Samuel L. Jackson and rewrites a classic Princess Bride quote just for him.

Cary Elwes    ...     Westley

Robin Wright Penn    ...     Buttercup / The Princess Bride

Mandy Patinkin    ...     Inigo Montoya

Chris Sarandon    ...     Prince Humperdinck

Christopher Guest    ...     Count Tyrone Rugen
    
Wallace Shawn    ...     Vizzini

André the Giant    ...     Fezzik (as Andre the Giant)

Fred Savage    ...     The Grandson

Peter Falk        ...     The Grandfather / Narrator

Peter Cook    ...     The Impressive Clergyman

Mel Smith        ...     The Albino

Billy Crystal    ...     Miracle Max

Carol Kane    ...     Valerie

Anne Dyson    ...     The Queen

Margery Mason    ...     The Ancient Booer

Re:Recasting THE PRINCESS BRIDE (1987)

paul:

This week, we're recasting The Princess Bride (1987). It's a classic that would be a travesty for some money hungry Hollywood exec to try and remake, which is exactly why we're imagining a remake. I hope a new cast comes out of this that makes me salivate for a remake, but I predict this will be an exercise in imagining how bad a remake of this movie could screw up.

This is a FIlmspotting contest and a winner will be announced on the Filmspotting podcast April 18, 2008.

 Extra credit goes to anyone who casts Samuel L. Jackson and rewrites a classic Princess Bride quote just for him.

 

Cary Elwes    ...     Westley

Robin Wright Penn    ...     Buttercup / The Princess Bride

Mandy Patinkin    ...     Inigo Montoya

Chris Sarandon    ...     Prince Humperdinck

Christopher Guest    ...     Count Tyrone Rugen
    
Wallace Shawn    ...     Vizzini

André the Giant    ...     Fezzik (as Andre the Giant)

Fred Savage    ...     The Grandson

Peter Falk        ...     The Grandfather / Narrator

Peter Cook    ...     The Impressive Clergyman

Mel Smith        ...     The Albino

Billy Crystal    ...     Miracle Max

Carol Kane    ...     Valerie

Anne Dyson    ...     The Queen

Margery Mason    ...     The Ancient Booer

Here's my picks:

Joseph Fiennes    ...     Westley

Jennifer Aniston    ...     Buttercup / The Princess Bride

Javier Bardem    ...     Inigo Montoya

John Michael Higgins    ...     Prince Humperdinck

Stephen Tobolowsky    ...     Count Tyrone Rugen
    
Jerry Stiller    ...     Vizzini

The Rock    ...     Fezzik (as Dwayne Johnson)

Elle Fanning    ...     The Grand(daughter)

Maggie Smith        ...     The Grand(mother) / Narrator

Jerry Seinfeld    ...     The Impressive Clergyman

Phillip Seymour Hoffman        ...     The Albino

Samuel L. Jackson    ...     Miracle Max

Pam Grier    ...     Valerie

Imelda Staunton    ...     The Queen

Missi Pyle    ...     The Ancient Booer

Changed the grandfather/grandson into the female persuasion because that seems like the thing to do nowadays in remakes.  I may be out of the loop, but there was something telling me that Aniston would be perfect for the part of Buttercup. Bardem could nail Inigo and the Rock showed me in Southland Tales that he can play a gentle, moronic, slightly off-kilter nice guy giant. The only one I really had trouble with is Vizzini and I'm still only 90% sure of Stiller, but whatever. As for Jackson, I have two rewritten quotes (the first referencing his gratuitous use of the f-word and Pulp Fiction):

Miracle Max: Have fun stormin' the castle!

Valerie: You think it'll work?

Miracle Max: It would take a motherf**kin' righteous miracle!

 or the other (with reference to The Long Kiss Goodnight)

Miracle Max: You got any money?

Inigo: Sixty-five.

Miracle Max: I've never worked for so little. Except once and that was a very noble cause.

Inigo: This is noble, sir. His wife is . . . crippled. His children are on the brink of starvation.

Miracle Max: Are YOU a rotten liar.

Inigo: I need him to help avenge my father, murdered these twenty years ago. I assume you can help me.

Miracle Max: Everyone knows, when you make an assumption you make an ass out of "u" and "umption".  

Eh, I tried. :) 

Re:Recasting THE PRINCESS BRIDE (1987)

This was fun...I'm not expecting much, but it made the last half hour fly by...

Ryan Reynolds    ...     Westley

Amy Adams    ...     Buttercup / The Princess Bride

Will Ferrell    ...     Inigo Montoya

Neil Patrick Harris   ...     Prince Humperdinck

Hugh Lurie    ...     Count Tyrone Rugen

Joey Pantaliano    ...     Vizzini

Dwayne 'the Rock' Johnson    ...     Fezzik (as Andre the Giant)

Malcolm David Kelley    ...     The Grandson

Jon Voight       ...     The Grandfather / Narrator

Chevy Chase   ...     The Impressive Clergyman

Paul Bettany        ...     The Albino

Mike Myers   ...     Miracle Max

Amy Pohler    ...     Valerie

Judy Dench    ...     The Queen

Helen Mirren   ...     The Ancient Booer

Count Rugen quote "You've got an overdeveloped sense of vengeance. It's going to get you into trouble someday" 

As Written for Samue L: Vengeance is a bitch, and now you're mine!

Re:Recasting THE PRINCESS BRIDE (1987)

Channing Tatum    ...     Westley

Joseph Gordon-Levitt    ...     Frog / The Prince Errant

Lucy Liu    ...     Iniga Montoya

Gretchen Mol   ...     Princess Humperdinck

Tilda Swinton    ...     Countess Tyrone Rugen

Patton Oswalt    ...     Vizzini

Michael Clark Duncan   ...     Fezzik

Jack Rovello    ...     The Grandson

Brian Dennehy     ...     The Grandfather / Narrator

Steve Carell   ...     The Impressive Clergyman

Brian Posehn        ...     The Albino

Maria Bamford   ...     Miracle Maxine

Matt Doran    ...     Val

Carol Burnett   ...     The Queen

Britney Spears   ...     The Ancient Booer

In most roles, I wanted to see what would happen if we started mixing up genders.  I saw Channing Tatum as a perfect 21st century swashbuckling hero, with veiny deltoids.  I saw J G-L as a great counterpart, physically - less bulky but an equally strong presence on-screen.  I needed a powerful, beautiful, charming woman to counter Channing, and Gretchen is my choice there.

Lucy Liu has played the Inigo roll throughout her career; why not again?  Same with Tilda Swinton.

The rest of the secondary characters are really just my favorite comedians.

And I thought Britney being a boo-er, the midieval equivalent of the paparazzi, would be a really nice gift to her.

Re:Recasting THE PRINCESS BRIDE (1987)

The Princess Bride
a Spike Lee Joint

with music by The RZA

Will Smith    ...     Westley

Halle Berry    ...     Buttercup / The Princess Bride

Curtis ’50 Cent’ Jackson...     Inigo Montoya

Terrance Howard    ...     Prince Humperdinck

Chiwetel Ejiofor...     Count Tyrone Rugen
    
Dave Chappelle    ...     Vizzini

Michael Clark Duncan    ...     Fezzik (as Andre the Giant)

Gary Coleman    ...     The Grandson

James Earl Jones        ...     The Grandfather / Narrator

Eddie Murphy    ...      The Albino, Miracle Max, Valerie, The Queen and, The Ancient Booer 

And featuring 

Christopher Walken as The Impressive Clergyman

Prior to Spike recasting part of the film to earn a PG13 rating, he tried to cast Samual L. Jackson in a couple of roles, but to no avail.  (Scenes can be found in the bonus outtakes on the DVD).

As Wesley:  "Enough is enough! I have had it with the motherf***ing RoUS's in this motherf***ing Fire Swamp!

As Miracle Max: "To blave, motherf***er.  Say bluff one more time, I dare you.

Re:Recasting THE PRINCESS BRIDE (1987)

Steven Strait (10,000 B.C)    ...     Westley

Sara Paxton   ...     Buttercup / The Princess Bride

Billy Crudup   ...     Inigo Montoya

Matthew Goode    ...     Prince Humperdinck

Hugh Grant  ...     Count Tyrone Rugen
    
Paul Giamatti    ...     Vizzini

The Big Show (WWE Wrestler)   ...     Fezzik (as Andre the Giant)

Abigail Breslin    ...     The Granddaughter

Anthony Hopkins        ...     The Grandfather / Narrator

Steve Coogan   ...     The Impressive Clergyman

Timothy Spall       ...     The Albino

Jon Stewart   ...     Miracle Max

 Julia Louis Dreyfus   ...     Valerie

Dame Judi Dench   ...     The Queen

Tracey Ullman   ...     The Ancient Booer

Re:Recasting THE PRINCESS BRIDE (1987)

jbooza:

The Princess Bride
a Spike Lee Joint

with music by The RZA

 

Will Smith    ...     Westley

Halle Berry    ...     Buttercup / The Princess Bride

Curtis ’50 Cent’ Jackson...     Inigo Montoya

Terrance Howard    ...     Prince Humperdinck

Chiwetel Ejiofor...     Count Tyrone Rugen
    
Dave Chappelle    ...     Vizzini

Michael Clark Duncan    ...     Fezzik (as Andre the Giant)

Gary Coleman    ...     The Grandson

James Earl Jones        ...     The Grandfather / Narrator

Eddie Murphy    ...      The Albino, Miracle Max, Valerie, The Queen and, The Ancient Booer 

And featuring 

Christopher Walken as The Impressive Clergyman

 

Prior to Spike recasting part of the film to earn a PG13 rating, he tried to cast Samual L. Jackson in a couple of roles, but to no avail.  (Scenes can be found in the bonus outtakes on the DVD).

As Wesley:  "Enough is enough! I have had it with the motherf***ing RoUS's in this motherf***ing Fire Swamp!

As Miracle Max: "To blave, motherf***er.  Say bluff one more time, I dare you.

HAHAHA! You totally win! I would definitely pay to see that movie.

"To blave, motherf***er!"

LOVE IT! 

Re:Recasting THE PRINCESS BRIDE (1987)

Kudos to the Spike Lee remake.  That had me ROLLING...  Now that I know I can never beat it...here is...

Princess Bride: The Indie/Art House Version 

Ron Livingston   ...     Westley

Laura Linney    ...     Buttercup / The Princess Bride

Jason Schwartzman    ...     Inigo Montoya

Phillip Seymour Hoffman    ...     Prince Humperdinck

Christopher Guest (reprises his role)    ...     Count Tyrone Rugen
    
Paul Giamatti (bummed it from above...but I really can't think of anyone more appropriate)    ...     Vizzini

Jon Favreau    ...     Fezzik

Michael Cera (I know...he's a little old...but he still looks like he's eight)    ...     The Grandson

Alan Arkin       ...     The Grandfather / Narrator

Alan Alda    ...     The Impressive Clergyman

Kathy Bates :)   ...     The Albino

Woody Allen   ...     Miracle Max

Ellen Page    ...     Valerie

Parker Posey    ...     The Queen

Julie Delpy    ...     The Ancient Booer

Re:Recasting THE PRINCESS BRIDE (1987)

dunedonkey:

Kudos to the Spike Lee remake.  That had me ROLLING...  Now that I know I can never beat it...here is...

 

Princess Bride: The Indie/Art House Version 

Ron Livingston   ...     Westley

Laura Linney    ...     Buttercup / The Princess Bride

Jason Schwartzman    ...     Inigo Montoya

Phillip Seymour Hoffman    ...     Prince Humperdinck

Christopher Guest (reprises his role)    ...     Count Tyrone Rugen
    
Paul Giamatti (bummed it from above...but I really can't think of anyone more appropriate)    ...     Vizzini

Jon Favreau    ...     Fezzik

Michael Cera (I know...he's a little old...but he still looks like he's eight)    ...     The Grandson

Alan Arkin       ...     The Grandfather / Narrator

Alan Alda    ...     The Impressive Clergyman

Kathy Bates :)   ...     The Albino

Woody Allen   ...     Miracle Max

Ellen Page    ...     Valerie

Parker Posey    ...     The Queen

Julie Delpy    ...     The Ancient Booer

It's "Princes Bride": The Indie edition! I dig. I might want to switch Parker Posey and Laura Linney, but the symbolism is appreciated =) 

Re:Recasting THE PRINCESS BRIDE (1987)

Alright, here are my picks.  Found it was hardest to cast Westley, until I thought of this guy:

Gael Garcia Bernal – Westley

Mark Ruffalo – Inigo Montoya

Paul Rudd – Prince Humperdink

Gary Oldman – Count Tyrone Rugen

Jason Alexander – Vizzini

Shaquille O’Neal – Fezzik

Freddie Highmore – The Grandson

Amy Adams – Buttercup

Werner Herzog – The Grandfather

Dave Chapelle – The Impressive Clergyman

Dan Fogler – The Albino

Sarah Silverman – Valerie

Zack Galifianakis – Miracle Max

Susan Sarandon – The Queen

Julia Louis-Dreyfus – The Ancient Booer