paul
Posts 251
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9/28/2006 3:04 PM
posted awhile ago
Q&A with filmmaker Doug Block
On September 28 Spout's hosting a sneak preview screening of 51 Birch Street. For a few days after the event, filmmaker Doug Block will periodically visit this discussion to answer any questions regarding 51 Birch Street.
Also, please visit the discussion, Help Doug promote 51 Birch Street and give Doug advice as to how he can promote online the theatrical release happening later this month.
So, if you've seen 51 Birch Street, now's the time to get those lingering questions off your chest.
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quint
Posts 94
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9/29/2006 9:58 AM
posted awhile ago
Re: Q&A with filmmaker Doug Block
Hi Doug,
I brought my mother to the screening last night and the tone of your film felt very much in line with the character of the dialogue we have developed over the past year. What I felt was the extent to which you had torn down the predefined roles of your relationships with your parents and grew to see them as human beings. You dealt with them as people, not as models for behavior and I appreciated that. It made me wonder if you regret not having had a fuller exchange with your mother before she passed on. Perhaps you did. It seemed clear though that what you learned of her as a woman rather than as a mother was quite transformative.
As a writer myself, seeing all her journals and the confusion over what should be done with them, I felt a great deal of anxiety. Sometimes I find myself sitting among all these old notebooks and wonder what will become of them, what they are worth and in whose mind they'll flourish, if anyones. I think you handled this correctly. If my son encounters all this stuff in the grips of trying to make sense of himself and his inheritance, I hope they will serve him as well as your mother's served you. We do these things to have a deeper dialogue with ourselves. The fact that they leave a trail of artifacts is difficult to account for. Words are supposed to mean something when activated in someone else's mind. They are a means of communication. If they communicate to no one, well, what are they worth? I suppose they help us understand ourselves. I believe you honored her by sharing them.
Another thing that crossed my mind as I watched the film is how self-depricating the role of the documentarian is. You are recording what you see, the impressions these things left on you, in much the same way as your mother recorded her own thoughts. This is embarrassing. You must overcome certain social barriers in order to justify the action. I'm glad you've found validation through the making of this film. I wonder how much shame and humiliation you had to overcome in order to embrace this role.
I'm glad you find meaning through the recording of people's weddings. This is a strange role as well. To step into such a personal exchange, the ritual of vows and promises, and not treat it in an offhand way, to see the reality of this exchange as a beginning, a transformation while recording it almost like a legal document, as proof. Not that the married couple will refer back to it with regularity, but they know this record exists, that these events occurred, so they might recreate them in their minds. Incontrovertible things were said. Your parent's 50th anniversary is used to good effect in just this way in your film. Layers of meaning are unpacked.
I'm glad you found resolution with your father. I feel like you've let us all in on these intimacies and the value in that is how it encourages us to reevaluate our relationships, our marriages, our roles. I got to forgive your father along with you.
My mother and I are both here on Spout and I feel privileged to be able to speak with you in this way. I hope you have great success with your film.
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patches
Posts 120
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9/29/2006 11:15 AM
posted awhile ago
Re: Q&A with filmmaker Doug Block
Doug, your film was incredible. I gasped and I chuckled, and I actually cried.
I wanted my parents and my Grandmother to be there with me.
I'm approaching 26, and my Grandparent's relationship resembled your parent's marriage very closely. When my Grandfather died when I was 9 we discovered all sorts of things about him, and my Grandmother both. They had their own bedrooms, and when cleaning out his room, we discovered boxes and boxes of secret things, postcards, his secret collection of cameras, photos of people none of us knew, strange secret things. We discovered soon after when my Grandma got her own apartment that the thing she wanted more than anything was pink carpeting throughout her entire house. She got it too.
I knew that my parents must have been thinking much of the same thoughts that you and your sisters were. I just watched in amazement of the parallels and the reactions, the interactions, the dynamics.
All of my grandfather's things were distributed amoung my cousins, my brother and I, and my aunts and uncles. Where did your mother's things go? Have you kept the journals? Have you actually read them all?
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DougBlock
Posts 8
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9/30/2006 5:26 PM
posted awhile ago
Re: Q&A with filmmaker Doug Block - for quint
Wow, quint, what an amazing, thoughtful response! I hardly know how to respond adequately (especially since I don't have much time, I'm about to run out).
No, I didn't have the kind of fuller exchange with my mother that I had with my father, and it's a huge regret. On the other hand, I might not have felt the need to make this film as strongly.
The danger of other people reading your diaries is that they may not be able to put them in the proper context, and so it will be hurtful. With my mother's, I took great care to put them in context, but it wasn't easy. I think the important thing is to leave a note behind as to your intentions with them. As for me, I want no one reading mine.
As for embarassment, yes I suppose I record things the way my mom did with her diaries - the big difference is that I went back and painstakingly edited my material. The truly embarassing stuff was left on the cutting room floor, believe me.
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DougBlock
Posts 8
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9/30/2006 5:31 PM
posted awhile ago
Re: Q&A with filmmaker Doug Block - for patches
Thanks for the post, patches. And for gasping, chuckling and crying.
Whatever stuff of my mother's (like clothes, jewelry, personal items) that my sisters and wife and daughter didn't claim, my father gave to Goodwill, I believe. My sister Ellen has 2 of the 3 cartons of journals, I have the other. No, I haven't read everything... and don't intend to.
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ktincu
Posts 6
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10/2/2006 12:11 PM
posted awhile ago
Re: Q&A with filmmaker Doug Block
Hi Doug.
Watching your film was both difficult and encouraging for me in many
different ways. I am a product of parents who have been married for
nearly 40 years, but haven't had an ideal marriage (who does, right?).
Although I don't know about anything concrete such as an affair that
might have caused them to split, I went through a period of time in my
late teens and twenties when I wondered why they stayed together. I
witnessed no affection, no sense of companionship, and I'm sure it has
shaped much of my understanding of (and fears around) marriage and
affection.
I'm also the product of my own divorce three years ago. Again, there
was no one particular "Reason" for our decision, just a lethal
combination of incompatibilities that built up until they were
unbearable. Our children were 3 and 5; we were 33. When we were getting
our divorce, we felt pressure all around us to "persevere" and "make it
work." But I realized I did not admire my parents for "making it work."
(Now, while I feel like my own divorce was the absolutely right thing
for us to do, I also see my parents moving into a new place in their
relationship, and I highly value what they have determined to hold
onto.)
As I watched 51 Birch Street, I kept wondering if you feel, in
hindsight, that your parents did the right thing by staying
together. Was it the right thing for you and your sisters? For
them as individuals? This is a huge question that will continue to
require broad dialogue as divorce becomes more and more common, and
your film really brought the question to the light without attempting
to answer it at all (as far as I could tell). I don't even think you
really pondered that question openly in the film, but I kept expecting
it. Why didn't you address it directly? Do you feel like you addressed
it in more subtle ways, or did you avoid it? And what, ultimately, do
you think about your parents' decision to stay together?
(btw, I love your "share your story" idea on your website. My own
divorce and my parents' disappointment in it eventually resulted in a
much closer, more real relationship between us. I also think you should
try to bring your film to Champaign-Urbana, IL. It's a small town but
has a big university and a great little theater, Boardman's Art
Theater.)
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paul
Posts 251
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10/3/2006 11:35 AM
posted awhile ago
Re: Q&A with filmmaker Doug Block
A great blog post by somebody at the event.
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DougBlock
Posts 8
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10/4/2006 12:09 AM
posted awhile ago
Re: Q&A with filmmaker Doug Block
Hi ktincu (you guys have weird names here),
Good questions re did I think my parents staying together was the right thing to do? I didn't deal with it in the film because I thought it important that I be driven by my shock and dismay over seeing my mother replaced so easily by my father. It helped the arc of the story with my father to be coming from there. In real life, admittedly, didn't think about that much. I mean, it's sad because I didn't realize until making the film how fundamentally mismatched my parents were. I thought they were so compatible - as did almost everyone else. I do think now they would have both been happier with others, and it's painful. I'd like to think I would have understood at the time, but that's easy to say in retrospect.
Thanks for posting and really hope you'll share your story on the film's website.
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ktincu
Posts 6
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10/5/2006 6:03 PM
posted awhile ago
Re: Q&A with filmmaker Doug Block
Thanks for your response. My parents are
coming this weekend for a visit, and I'm looking forward to telling
them about the film. I think I'll be telling people about it for a
while! If you're at all curious what I thought about the film overall,
you can check out my filmblog here on spout.com. I included a paragraph
about my favorite part--one of your interviews with Natasha. Thanks
again!
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