Recasting couch

black man president

Risselada — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 17:17:32 GMT

Dr_Gor:
The US is not going to have a black president OR a woman president any time soon... Not that there is anything wrong with that - it just ain't gonna happen...

Well, it looks like it's happening soon!

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH: WE HAVE A WINNER

Risselada — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 21:48:16 GMT

SkyPilot:
And yes, they called me Adam Forrest Gump. And no matter how slowly I walked through the halls of my junior high...you know what they'd call out.

I just glad that there wasn't a movie to come out when I was in junior high called Risselada Chode. Maybe it will come out when I have a son is in school.

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH: WE HAVE A WINNER

SkyPilot — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 20:54:10 GMT

Risselada:

BAVMOTORS1: "Documentaries are right out because that makes the list no fun.

Ok, stop right there! Seriously? This is the first sentance from the proposal that won? Why do documentaries not make the list any fun? To me documentaries are probably the most appropriate for this kind of list. And what's not fun about documentaries? If you are implying that documentaries themselves just can't be fun, then sadly maybe you do represent more of the majority of life on earth and your list would be most appropriate to send to the aliens.

Saucy stuff Rizzo, but good questions.

Risselada:

If our government or the governments of the world had to pick one person to be in charge of making this list who do you think they would pick? Is Roger Ebert the currently living most recognized film lover and scholar? If he was picked I wonder if you'd get this movie, because I think it may be his favorite movie of all time from what I've heard.

You know how I feel about Forrest Gump being [a popular choice]. See my previous post on the matter. (Did you get mocked at all when this movie came out Adam? Did people call you Adam Forrest Gump?)

I liked your take on this Rizzo.

Risselada:

I actually thought about this for a moment, but I really believe you get more out of this movie based on the more you already lived through or at least knew about all of the events that occured in the 20th century. I think if you weren't already familiar with them, you wouldn't learn anything about them. The movie makes an assumption that you already know, and that's why it works because it lets you look at the events in a new way.

And yes, they called me Adam Forrest Gump. And no matter how slowly I walked through the halls of my junior high...you know what they'd call out.

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH: WE HAVE A WINNER

Risselada — Mon, 07 Jul 2008 18:20:55 GMT

SkyPilot:

bavmotors1, you are hereby declared humanity's ambassador. Your films are the sole cargo of the unmanned spacecraft Image1, which launches this morning.

Your proposal:

Documentaries are right out because that makes the list no fun.

Ok, stop right there! Seriously? This is the first sentance from the proposal that won? Why do documentaries not make the list any fun? To me documentaries are probably the most appropriate for this kind of list. And what's not fun about documentaries? If you are implying that documentaries themselves just can't be fun, then sadly maybe you do represent more of the majority of life on earth and your list would be most appropriate to send to the aliens.

SkyPilot:

And benthams_head made me want to see Gates of Heaven

If our government or the governments of the world had to pick one person to be in charge of making this list who do you think they would pick? Is Roger Ebert the currently living most recognized film lover and scholar? If he was picked I wonder if you'd get this movie, because I think it may be his favorite movie of all time from what I've heard.

SkyPilot:
A few movies were mentioned more than once, and the two most-selected are Forrest Gump (4 votes) and The Seventh Seal (3). What do you guys think about that? Has democracy spoken -- are these the two films that best represent human experience?

You know how I feel about Forrest Gump being on this list. See my previous post on the matter. (Did you get mocked at all when this movie came out Adam? Did people call you Adam Forrest Gump?) As for the Seventh Seal, I don't know if unfamiliarity of the religious stories and icons of medival Christianity would keep this movie from being of any interest, but I think all of the different personalities of the characters towards life and faith would come through.

TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH: WE HAVE IGNITION

SkyPilot — Sat, 05 Jul 2008 14:34:03 GMT

SkyPilot:

Hey guys,

You can see the winner on page 5 of this discussion thread. You can also hear Adam and Matty discuss the contest on the Filmspotting podcast.

Our next challenge: take the red pill, recast The Matrix (1999).

Have a good holiday weekend,

skypilot

Top 5 Movies to Teach an Alien About Earth

The year is 2010. The United States has a black president, people play golf with titanium sticks, cars are powered by--of all things--hydrogen, and Netflix offers every movie ever made on the Internet.

NASA gets a signal from an extra-terrestrial life form. The alien has just signed up for Netflix and wants five movies that will teach it about life on Earth. For reasons too elaborate to explain, you--yes you--have been picked to choose these five movies.

Do you go historical with Schindler's List? Or put a positive spin on things with Dumbo? Do you explain children with A Christmas Story and old people with Cocoon? Or do you really roll the dice and send them War of the Worlds?

--Paul

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH: WE HAVE A WINNER

filmgal81 — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 23:59:07 GMT

I can not speak for why others chose Forrest Gump, but I can tell you why I chose it as 1 of my 5. I think the film represents American humor, and covers several decades of history in an unsuperficially light snapshot. Also, I think the film exemplfies a great part of the human experience for many people: someone not particularly bright who is able to not just survive in this world, but excel, and mostly by sheer dumb luck and being in the right place at the right time.

Forrest Gump is the dramatization of the mediocre man made good- it is the story of how a person like George W. became president and why there are STILL (!) people who believe Obama is a muslim terrorist ( but i digress). Forrest Gump epitomizes the cultivation of "just folks" syndrome- how the Everyman does not need a " fancy book education" or even a lot of "plain 'ol smarts" in order to be taken seriously and followed by millions -because it is not about what you know but who you know and who will listen. Now, Forrest Gump just happens to have a good heart, so it all works out in the end and no one begrudges his sucesses because it couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. But this story, in many ways, reminds me of a more lighthearted version of the film Being There, showcasing how easily a person a can float through life on other people's assumptions and the right connections.

The American Dream.

SkyPilot:

A few movies were mentioned more than once, and the two most-selected are Forrest Gump (4 votes) and The Seventh Seal (3). What do you guys think about that? Has democracy spoken -- are these the two films that best represent human experience?

TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH: WE HAVE A WINNER

SkyPilot — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 14:27:24 GMT

bavmotors1, you are hereby declared humanity's ambassador. Your films are the sole cargo of the unmanned spacecraft Image1, which launches this morning.

Your proposal:

Documentaries are right out because that makes the list no fun. Outside of that what an alien “is” carries such a broad range of possibilities that would alter what one might put on the list. Would the alien be like Alf or Galactus? Eating cats or eating planets? Ultimately every study of human kind will produce more questions than answers so that is where I came from with my list. After the number one pick the rest are in no particular order.

Contact. The alien has searched the “big ass sky” to find tiny Earth. Contact relates what the experience is like for human kind. The search for alien life might be the only similar effort the two species share. The question Elanor Arroway asks at the end is one I think we'd hope to get the answer to. You know... as long as we're talking.
Blood Diamond. Of all the geopolitical movies out there an exposition of the ultra poor dying so the ultra rich can have (or even worse lock away in a box) symbolic trinkets that neither feed nor clothe them is probably the most telling.
Legends of the Fall. The story of the most important unit in human interaction – family – intertwined with race, war, romance, human frailty, nature and economics (albeit all North American variations) would give a sense of what cannot be taught – human love.
The Shawshank Redemption. Hope is the most important human emotion – love being a subset of hope (in my opinion). And to quote a different movie, “Hope. It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest triumph, and your greatest weakness.” Also a fairly accurate description of how prisoners are treated would be educational according to Pearl S. Buck and Winston Churchill.
Predator. The message here: don't f*ck with us. Perhaps the alien being is so far advanced that the destruction of Earth and/or human kind is laughably easy but they should know we go down fighting.

We like how AlexaSchlosser changed up the conversation to include the Top 5 Movies to Confuse an Alien About Earth. leeroy 711 responded with a great list:

1. Delicatessen - yeah, we eat each other

2. Night of the Living Dead - sometimes it gets out of hand

3. American Movie - this is a documentary of our president

4. The Doom Generation - another gripping documentary

5. Brazil - we all lived happily ever after

I'd like to give nods to jackfly11 (list on page 2) and Labuza (page 3). Labuza said something very interesting: "The alien is trying to answer the question 'what is life like on Earth,' but the great question is actually 'What does it mean to be human?'"

And benthams_head made me want to see Gates of Heaven by writing this: "A perfect ending to an alien journey through human nature and society. We arrive at the western-most shore of the USA; the last stop on the road to manifest destiny. Morris's film hits on so many things that are conspicuously American: our attitude towards death, our treatment of pets as human surrogates, our rampant use of self-help idioms, and, most importantly, our willingness to accept loneliness in exchange for individual identity. Also, that woman singing to her dog may actually be speaking in an alien tongue."

A few movies were mentioned more than once, and the two most-selected are Forrest Gump (4 votes) and The Seventh Seal (3). What do you guys think about that? Has democracy spoken -- are these the two films that best represent human experience?

Re:TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH: COUNTDOWN BEGINS

msjow — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 15:14:46 GMT

Godfather Part 2

Schindler's List

Breakfast Club

Parenthood

Love Actually

Ladies & Aliens.... let me introduce: Mr. Seymour Hoffman

Cammmalot — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 03:46:29 GMT

Filmspotting said we had 'til wednesday?...oh well just for fun.....

I'm in sync with the thought that when weighing the pros and cons it would be much better for the Aliens to stay away, but I also don't want to decieve them. So perhaps we could try something that seems to repel girls away from me....and thus I give you:

Philip Seymore Hoffman's It's a Wonderful Life Collection

1. Happiness

2. Boogie Nights

3. Owning Mahowny

4. Love Liza

Hey wait where are you going?......I thought you said you wanted to learn about life on earth......

but I haven't shown you Magnolia yet.........

It's over 3 hours long......

........... and it's got FROGS!

Cam

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

Patryce — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 02:17:32 GMT

Here are my 5 movies to teach about life on earth

1) Metropolis (1927)

2) Citizen Kane

3) An Inconvienant Truth

4) Annie Hall

5) Do the right Thing

TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH: COUNTDOWN BEGINS

SkyPilot — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 21:24:47 GMT

Hey guys,

we've selected the winner, who will be revealed here and on the Filmspotting podcast this Friday morning.

Have a good week,

skypilot

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

leeroy711 — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 16:18:55 GMT

JediShaft:

WHAT I’D SAY TO THE MARTIANS

by Jack Handey

People of Mars, you say we are brutes and savages. But let me tell you one thing: if I could get loose from this cage you have me in, I would tear you guys a new Martian asshole.You say we are violent and barbaric, but has any one of you come up to my cage and extended his hand? Because, if he did, I would jerk it off and eat it right in front of him. “Mmm, that’s good Martian,” I would say.

You say your civilization is more advanced than ours. But who is really the more “civilized” one? You, standing there watching this cage? Or me, with my pants down, trying to urinate on you?

The Day the Earth Stood Still

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0043456/

You criticize our Earth religions, saying they have no relevance to the way we actually live. But think about this: if I could get my hands on that god of yours, I would grab his skinny neck and choke him until his big green head exploded.

We are a warlike species, you claim, and you show me films of Earth battles to prove it. But I have seen all the films about twenty times. Get some new films, or, so help me, if I ever get out of here I will empty my laser pistol into everyone I see, even pets.

Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080684/

Speaking of films, I could show you some films, films that portray a different, gentler side of Earth. And while you’re watching the films I’d sort of slip away, because guess what: the projector is actually a thing that shoots out spinning blades! And you fell for it! Well, maybe not now you wouldn’t.

You point to your long tradition of living peacefully with Earth. But you know what I point to? Your stupid heads.

You say there is much your civilization could teach ours. But perhaps there is something that I could teach you—namely, how to scream like a parrot when I put your big Martian head in a vise.

You claim there are other intelligent beings in the galaxy besides earthlings and Martians. Good, then we can attack them together. And after we’re through attacking them we’ll attack you.

I came here in peace, seeking gold and slaves. But you have treated me like an intruder. Maybe it is not me who is the intruder but you.

No, not me. You, stupid.

You keep my body imprisoned in this cage. But I am able to transport my mind to a place far away, a happier place, where I use Martian heads for batting practice.

The Untouchables

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094226/

I admit that sometimes I think we are not so different after all. When you see one of your old ones trip and fall down, do you not point and laugh, just as we on Earth do? And I think we can agree that nothing is more admired by the people of Earth and Mars alike than a fine, high-quality cigarette. For fun, we humans like to ski down mountains covered with snow; you like to“milk” bacteria off of scum hills and pack them into your gill slits. Are we so different? Of course we are, and you will be even more different if I ever finish my homemade flamethrower.

You may kill me, either on purpose or by not making sure that all the surfaces in my cage are safe to lick. But you can’t kill an idea. And that idea is: me chasing you with a big wooden mallet.

You say you will release me only if I sign a statement saying that I will not attack you. And I have agreed, the only condition being that I can sign with a long sharp pen. And still you keep me locked up.

Oldboy

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0364569/

True, you have allowed me reading material—not the “human reproduction” magazines I requested but the works of your greatest philosopher, Zandor or Zanax or whatever his name is. I would like to discuss his ideas with him—just me, him, and one of his big, heavy books.

If you will not free me, at least deliver a message to Earth. Send my love to my wife, and also to my girlfriend. And to my children, if I have any anyplace. Ask my wife to please send me a bazooka, which is a flower we have on Earth. If my so-called friend Don asks you where the money I owe him is, please anally probe him. Do that anyway.

Goodfellas

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099685/

If you keep me imprisoned long enough, eventually I will die. Because one thing you Martians do not understand is that we humans cannot live without our freedom. So, if you see me lying lifeless in my cage, come on in, because I’m dead. Really.

Maybe one day we will not be the enemies you make us out to be. Perhaps one day a little Earth child will sit down to play with a little Martian child, or larva, or whatever they are. But, after a while, guess what happens: the little Martian tries to eat the Earth child. But guess what the Earth child has? A gun. You weren’t expecting that, were you? And now the Martian child is running away, as fast as he can. Run, little Martian baby, run!

I would like to thank everyone for coming to my cage tonight to hear my speech. Donations will be gratefully accepted. (No Mars money, please.) ♦

AUDIO OF JACK HANDEY CAN BE FOUND...

http://www.studio360.org/episodes/2008/05/16

Although I was their captive, the aliens allowed me quite a bit of freedom. The let me roam about freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It wasn't until later that I found out they weren't aliens at all, but rather large, dirty clothes hampers.

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

JediShaft — Tue, 01 Jul 2008 15:12:40 GMT

WHAT I’D SAY TO THE MARTIANS

by Jack Handey

People of Mars, you say we are brutes and savages. But let me tell you one thing: if I could get loose from this cage you have me in, I would tear you guys a new Martian asshole.You say we are violent and barbaric, but has any one of you come up to my cage and extended his hand? Because, if he did, I would jerk it off and eat it right in front of him. “Mmm, that’s good Martian,” I would say.

You say your civilization is more advanced than ours. But who is really the more “civilized” one? You, standing there watching this cage? Or me, with my pants down, trying to urinate on you?

The Day the Earth Stood Still

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0043456/

You criticize our Earth religions, saying they have no relevance to the way we actually live. But think about this: if I could get my hands on that god of yours, I would grab his skinny neck and choke him until his big green head exploded.

We are a warlike species, you claim, and you show me films of Earth battles to prove it. But I have seen all the films about twenty times. Get some new films, or, so help me, if I ever get out of here I will empty my laser pistol into everyone I see, even pets.

Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0080684/

Speaking of films, I could show you some films, films that portray a different, gentler side of Earth. And while you’re watching the films I’d sort of slip away, because guess what: the projector is actually a thing that shoots out spinning blades! And you fell for it! Well, maybe not now you wouldn’t.

You point to your long tradition of living peacefully with Earth. But you know what I point to? Your stupid heads.

You say there is much your civilization could teach ours. But perhaps there is something that I could teach you—namely, how to scream like a parrot when I put your big Martian head in a vise.

You claim there are other intelligent beings in the galaxy besides earthlings and Martians. Good, then we can attack them together. And after we’re through attacking them we’ll attack you.

I came here in peace, seeking gold and slaves. But you have treated me like an intruder. Maybe it is not me who is the intruder but you.

No, not me. You, stupid.

You keep my body imprisoned in this cage. But I am able to transport my mind to a place far away, a happier place, where I use Martian heads for batting practice.

The Untouchables

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0094226/

I admit that sometimes I think we are not so different after all. When you see one of your old ones trip and fall down, do you not point and laugh, just as we on Earth do? And I think we can agree that nothing is more admired by the people of Earth and Mars alike than a fine, high-quality cigarette. For fun, we humans like to ski down mountains covered with snow; you like to“milk” bacteria off of scum hills and pack them into your gill slits. Are we so different? Of course we are, and you will be even more different if I ever finish my homemade flamethrower.

You may kill me, either on purpose or by not making sure that all the surfaces in my cage are safe to lick. But you can’t kill an idea. And that idea is: me chasing you with a big wooden mallet.

You say you will release me only if I sign a statement saying that I will not attack you. And I have agreed, the only condition being that I can sign with a long sharp pen. And still you keep me locked up.

Oldboy

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0364569/

True, you have allowed me reading material—not the “human reproduction” magazines I requested but the works of your greatest philosopher, Zandor or Zanax or whatever his name is. I would like to discuss his ideas with him—just me, him, and one of his big, heavy books.

If you will not free me, at least deliver a message to Earth. Send my love to my wife, and also to my girlfriend. And to my children, if I have any anyplace. Ask my wife to please send me a bazooka, which is a flower we have on Earth. If my so-called friend Don asks you where the money I owe him is, please anally probe him. Do that anyway.

Goodfellas

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099685/

If you keep me imprisoned long enough, eventually I will die. Because one thing you Martians do not understand is that we humans cannot live without our freedom. So, if you see me lying lifeless in my cage, come on in, because I’m dead. Really.

Maybe one day we will not be the enemies you make us out to be. Perhaps one day a little Earth child will sit down to play with a little Martian child, or larva, or whatever they are. But, after a while, guess what happens: the little Martian tries to eat the Earth child. But guess what the Earth child has? A gun. You weren’t expecting that, were you? And now the Martian child is running away, as fast as he can. Run, little Martian baby, run!

I would like to thank everyone for coming to my cage tonight to hear my speech. Donations will be gratefully accepted. (No Mars money, please.) ♦

AUDIO OF JACK HANDEY CAN BE FOUND...

http://www.studio360.org/episodes/2008/05/16

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

eguy — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 16:32:49 GMT

My goal for these films would be to teach the aliens about who we are now so what better way to do then by teaching them about who we use to be!

To teach them about the cold war a recent event in world history:

The Spy Who Came in from the Cold (1964)

To teach them about both Japan, important for the 20th century, and world war two:

Millennium Actress (2001)

To teach them about the USA in the last 50 years:

Forrest Gump (1994)

To try to scratch the surface of the history of European colonization:

Zulu (1964)

To show an amazing world war one film:

All Quiet on the Western Front (1930)

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

forticus — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 08:10:50 GMT

Kids-Persepolis

Teen-Cant Hardly Wait

Adult-Swingers

Old Age-Young At Heart

Death-The Fountain

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

moosickboy — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 03:21:33 GMT

I totally understand and agree with so many of these selections, especially the excellent Koyannisquatsi (sp?) BUT if they've gotten hold of Netflix, signed up, faked an address and everything else, they're already pretty sentient and they have the internet, so they're going to know all there is to know about the human race and human life apart from how to truly live it.

What I want to do, is make them want to stay, to hang around and be our friends! (and also to show them that its only a minority make some of the "sketchier" things online)

I'm fully aware this selection is, on occasion, dumb and saccarine sweet. But that's how we rope them in! (then we kill them, take them to a lab, chop them up and steal their lunch money.)

So, my top 5 "teach them but get them to stay" movies.

5. Curious George. It's so much fun and you know it.Plus they'll learn some things along the way.

4. Plan 9 from outer space - Because if they were in any doubt what a dumbass, confused, generally quite daft bunch we humans are, that is it. It'll make them laugh how dumb we are, (that is, unless they really do come down on frisbees and string)

3. Amelie. Teach them about love, keep them smiling and also show them one of the finest looking examples of the female form alive right now. (what better way to make them stay than to make them fall in love?)

4. Annie Hall - To show them what will happen when they've fallen in love, but keep them smiling all the while.

1. A day at the races - To completely negate Plan 9 and show them that earth is worth staying in contact with. Purely because we can, on occasion, create works of utter and complete genious.

Cheers,

Jimmy.

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

filmgal81 — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 22:24:57 GMT

"They can be a great people, Kal-El, they wish to be. They only lack the light to show the way." --- Jor-El (actor Marlon Brando, Superman film[1978])

I open with the above quote because I think the films chosen should reflect the many perils and pitfalls of what it is to be human. Despite our incease in knowledge and ever-evolving technology (fancy gadgets and gizmos, our fancy coffee and increasingly white-collar jobs), our true plight has remained the same: our never-ending search to find, establish and maintain human connection. Of course, our connections are not without emotional expense and we often grapple with them as they conflict with our sense of duty and other external ties. Through it all we, somehow, maintain our humanity: feeling sympathy, experiencing joy, and sharing laughter. These are ties that bind the human experience. An alien should know that though life here is far from perfect, there ARE moments...ah, yes there are moments to take one's breath away.

That said, here are my choices:

The Pianist (showing heartbreaking triumph through the greatest of adversity)

Home for the Holidays (a complex film about the ties that bind)

Forrest Gump ( how mediocrity can flourish and how a giving heart can bring you more life experience than the finest education; also great clips of America through several essential periods of history)

The Fountain (because this life is always over too soon and shows our struggle with death in life)

Gattaca (our struggle for perfection, our struggle for knowledge, our struggle with trying to know the Unknown)

SkyPilot:

The year is 2010. The United States has a black president, people play golf with titanium sticks, cars are powered by--of all things--hydrogen, and Netflix offers every movie ever made on the Internet.

NASA gets a signal from an extra-terrestrial life form. The alien has just signed up for Netflix and wants five movies that will teach it about life on Earth. For reasons too elaborate to explain, you--yes you--have been picked to choose these five movies.

Do you go historical with Schindler's List? Or put a positive spin on things with Dumbo? Do you explain children with A Christmas Story and old people with Cocoon? Or do you really roll the dice and send them War of the Worlds?

--Paul

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

grinatme — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 17:59:48 GMT

Im going to go through all the stages in life. So here are my movies for each part of the human aging process.

child-stand by me.

teen-clueless

adulthood-american beauty

old age-away from her

work-glengarry glen ross

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

Labuza — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 04:26:47 GMT

The alien is trying to answer the question "what is life like on Earth," but the greater question is actually "What does it mean to be human?" How do humans interact, what do they wish/dream for in life, what is life on Earth all about for humans. I chose five films that best represent aspects of the human experience

Magnolia- No film better shows a better collection of human relationships. This film answers the many ways humans can come together or break off with each other. Although frogs falling from the sky may confuse our intergalatic friend, he will better understand how humans see each other in one another's eyes.

The Seventh Seal- Every human tries to answer the big questions in life. What is my purpose? What happens after death? Is there a God? The Seventh Seal will show the alien how humans confront such a bizarre and strange set of questions.

Fargo-Humans are not always good. Fargo best shows the corruption of the human soul through greed and desperation. Although there are good people, the alien will see how a good person can go bad, and the dangers of the human psyche.

Saving Private Ryan-What does it mean to be a patriot and what is the point of war? These highly ambitious questions cannot be answered by a single film, but Saving Private Ryan attempts to explain why one would be willing to fight and die for our county, and also the utter despair humans can cause on each other. The SPR, the alien will see the best and worst of the human soul.

Ikiru-What is important in life? Akira Kurosowa's masterpiece begins to answer this huge question through the sad story of one man and his quest, as the title says, "To Live." This film will teach the alien about what really matters to humans as they approach their final years of life.

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

indieabby88 — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 02:06:25 GMT

Well, I figure if an alien shows up on earth, they're going to want to converse with people. And in order to communicate with people these days, you're going to need to know movie quotes, especially if you're talking to somebody in the 18-to-35-year-old demographic. So, here goes: quotable movies you need to be familiar with to function in modern society:

1. Monty Python and the Holy Grail...Although they might like "Life of Brian" better.

2. Blazing Saddles-Get some classic Mel Brooks in there.

3. Fight Club-Do I really need to explain this one?

4. Knocked Up-Considering Judd Apatow is everywhere these days, and this is the movie that's been getting the most references of late. Also explains a lot about American culture: we're oversexed and enjoy jokes about pot and bodily functions.

5. It's a Wonderful Life-Shows the classic American "can-do" spirit the way only Capra can, it's watched by millions of people every Christmas and (at least in my family) it's just one of those movies you "have to know."

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

dansinch — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 19:06:59 GMT

Diary of a Mad Black Woman

Madea's Family Reunion

Madea Goes to Jail

Why Did I Get Married?

Meet the Browns

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

benthams_head — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 17:40:20 GMT

There are a few rules we should establish when setting up a Netflix queue for extraterrestrials. First, while we can’t possibly cover every culture in the world, it’s important that our selections reflect adequate breadth. Therefore, we’ll allow no more than one American film. Second, stories of people like Ghandi and Oskar Schindler are compelling, but these were extraordinary people. And let’s face it: most of us are plum ordinary. We need to reach for films that reflect everyday experience rather than big people and moments in history. Third, let’s avoid too much arty surrealism and stick with straight story telling. We need to teach the basics before we deluge them with Godard or Lynch. Fourth, and I can’t stress this enough, no movies about aliens!!! It’ll only make us look stupid and may leave us vulnerable to a mass invasion.

So, without further adieu, here is our queue:

1. Late Spring (Ozu, Japan)

It’s hard to pick one Ozu film, because they all have so much insight about the family life and intra-generational values of a Japanese culture lurching into modernity. We go with “Late Spring”, because it’s so aesthetically simple, and yet so profound and affirming in its exploration of the central father-daughter relationship.

2. The Circle (Panahi, Iran)

We head west to Iran for a much bleaker cultural examination. While Ozu’s film shows us the blossoming of an egalitarian society, Panahi’s shows us a place where the subjugation and oppression of women remains the rule of the day.

3. The Death of Mr. Lazarescu (Puiu, Romania)

While also very bleak, this film combines important elements of each of the first two. Again we see a society confronting the modern world, but we’re reminded that progress is a messy business that inevitably leaves certain people and institutions behind; in this case, the poor and elderly (represented by Lazarescu) and the Romanian national health care system; an adrift relic of the Communist dictatorship.

4. Claire’s Knee (Rohmer, France)

Taken in context with “Lazerescu”, this film provides a study in continental social dichotomy. We move from the withering slums of Eastern Europe to the foothills of the French Alps where members of the French intellectual class are on extended holiday. The contrast shows not only the disparities in wealth and lifestyle, but also the way in which human beings stratify their problems. There is no concern over basic survival here, and yet, among this upper echelon of petit bourgeoisie, ruminations about love, sex, and whether a young girl’s knee represents a form of aesthetic perfection take on a feverish importance.

5. Gates of Heaven (Morris, USA)

A perfect ending to an alien journey through human nature and society. We arrive at the western-most shore of the USA; the last stop on the road to manifest destiny. Morris’s film hits on so many things that are conspicuously American: our attitude towards death, our treatment of pets as human surrogates, our rampant use of self-help idioms, and, most importantly, our willingness to accept loneliness in exchange for individual identity. Also, that woman singing to her dog may actually be speaking in an alien tongue.

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

dangmovie — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 16:34:13 GMT

1) Earth is really only understood through its small towns, thus I'm Reed Fish introduces the Aliens not only to the mindset of small towns, but to the function and purpose of movies in general.

2) La Dolce Vita then gives them an artful, European, and somewhat historical yet modern perspective of the trivial pursuits of mankind and the emotional toll they take on us.

3) Blade Runner is a required viewing to understand how humanity's mind has evolved into postmodern thought. It is the perfect illustration for us being tools of our tools, failing to believe in the promise of modernism that La Dolce Vita illustrates, living in the remains of society, lack of an absolute truth, etc.

4) Minority Report is our most accurate depiction of what we believe our world will be like in 25 to 50 years time. How we think the world will be reveals a whole lot about what we think our current world is.

5) Finally, these aliens would need to see a little something about our beautiful dependency on love and sex and that requires a viewing of Patrice Leconte's Le Mari de la coiffeuse (1990)

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

jkoseattle — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 16:24:14 GMT

Here were my criteria: They had to be realistic, so as not to mislead the alien in any way, they had to cover as much geographical, socio-economic, and cultural area as possible, to give the alien a good sampling of all the different varieties of life on Earth, and lastly I tried to come up with movies that covered more than one aspect of life on Earth to give the alien a taste of as many different aspects of life as possible.

In no particular order:

1. Barry Lyndon

It shows the alien war, nobility, peasant life, scenery, history, and tons of human frailty. As slavishly accurate as possible, and also lets the alien see how visually beautiful a world it can be.

2. The Apu Trilogy

Slightly a cheat because it is really three movies, but choose any one of the three and they would all work. Shows the alien what people are like when they are living their normal lives, raising children, finding their way in the world, and how much drama there is to be found in mothing more than that.

3. Hannah and Her Sisters

Shows the alien what upper-class urban life looks like, deals with familial relationships, love affairs, art, and even grapples with issues of religion.

4. Places in the Heart

Since so much of the world is made up of rural farmers, this shows what that life is like, also teaches the alien how we deal with death of loved ones, how we overcome physical handicap, overcome seemingly insurmountable adversity, racism. (The brilliant but slightly surreal ending would have to be explained to the alien afterward.)

5. Tampopo

Shows the alien modern Asia, humans' relationship to food, more about familial relationship, and how comedy works.

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

smapdie — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 03:43:54 GMT

This is in no particular order...

I guess I'm just trying to go for various aspects of human nature / behavior to share with these aliens in sort of broad strokes...

1.) Being There (1979)

A great demonstration of how humans behave as leaders and followers and how the media exercises such a strong hold over society.

2.) Nobody Knows (2005)

Shows the resiliency and unspoiled faith of children and the importance of familial / sibling relationsihps.

3.) S21: The Khmer Rouge Killing Machine (2002)

A documentary about the lowest and cruelist in human behavior, the ability (and necessity) to face the consequences of one's actions and the possibility of forgiveness and dialogue.

4.) In the Realms of the Unreal (2003)

Another documentary, this one a remarkable testament to the mind's capacity for almost limitless creativity and the drive to create even if one's work is never recognized or shared.

5.) Pee-Wee's Big Adventure (1985)

Aside from being flat out one of the best movies ever created, this is a sterling demonstration of how people can just be silly and colorful and obnoxious. And it would serve as a fine introduction to the road movie for our alien visitors.

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

rllewis — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 01:43:05 GMT

Let us give them some animation to think about. If we keep them confused long enough we could get an upper hand if they plan on attacking us. If they want to help us, these movies tell them that we really, really need help.

Wizards (1977 Directed by Ralph Bakshi) - A vision of post-apocalyptic Earth where magic and mythic creators, are at war with technology.

Spriited Away (2001 Directed by Hayao Miyazaki also known as Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi) - Art and Story for the sake of Art and Story. Shows that we humans can put effort toward something purely for the sake of creating something beautiful just because we can.

Pinocchio (1940 Directed by Hamilton Luske and Ben Sharpsteen) - The classic story of a "non-human" trying to become human and has to learn several lessons the hard way.

Nightmare Before Christmas (1993 Directed by Henry Selick (but Written and other things by Tim Burton) - Story of an outsider discovering beauty and love and trying to partake in it, but does not quite get it right.

Pink Floyd The Wall (1982 Directed by Alan Parker) - A rock star who cannot handle life becomes insane. Also a story about someone that is surround by people but is very alone. Plus it will really mess with their minds.

PAX,

Robert +

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

Dr_Gor — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 22:26:18 GMT

Anyhow, the aliens already know all about us.... They have been visiting Earth and giving people the 'anal probe' for centuries... or longer...

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

Dr_Gor — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 22:20:17 GMT

csprague:
Dr_Gor:
The US is not going to have a black president OR a woman president any time soon... Not that there is anything wrong with that - it just ain't gonna happen...

Whoa. Hold up. What's this about not having a black or female president? Do you lack faith in the voting populus or in black/female candidates?

I lack faith in a lot of things, Christi... I like your new picture, by the way... ;)

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

AScrimm7 — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 20:54:26 GMT

1. An Inconvenient Truth - Just to give them a heads up.

2. Ghandi- Let them know what we're capable of.

3. Dazed and Confused- Let them know what kids in Texas are capable of.

4. March of the Penguins- To inform them that a) animals on Earth are tough little bastards and b) that Morgan Freeman should narrate everything.

5. The Big Lebowski- Because if they come all this way and don't check out TBL they're kinda just assholes.

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

csprague — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 19:38:22 GMT

Dr_Gor:
The US is not going to have a black president OR a woman president any time soon... Not that there is anything wrong with that - it just ain't gonna happen...

Whoa. Hold up. What's this about not having a black or female president? Do you lack faith in the voting populus or in black/female candidates?

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

seven-ate-9 — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 19:28:42 GMT

I think "Son in Law" with Pauley Shore covers it all.

Thanks for visiting, alien strangers!

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

homojo69 — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 06:03:59 GMT

1. Love Story - how we love

2. Carwash - how we have fun

3. The Towering Inferno - how we save ourselves

4. Stricktly Ballroom - how we love to dance

5. The Godfather - how we love to kill others

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

Dr_Gor — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 04:00:08 GMT

The US is not going to have a black president OR a woman president any time soon... Not that there is anything wrong with that - it just ain't gonna happen...

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

xistentialkid — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 03:54:45 GMT

When I first heard about this contest I thought that this will be the easiest thing in the world to write. Then, I remembered the endless amount of movies made during the 20th century to the present. Picking just five movies to explain life on earth nearly made my head explode So to make it easier I decided to explain it thru earthlings' relations w. love, religion, sex, society, and violence.

1) To Live - Love

A chinese film about a family struggling together thru poverty, tragedy, war, and Chairman Mao's Cultural Revolution. It's more than enough to tear apart any family but they manage to stay together and thrive. If the alien does not tear up while watching the final scene then he has not come in peace.

2) Tommy - Religion

I could have chosen a biblical epic like "The Ten Commandments" or "The Passion of Mel Gibson," but, frankly they are boring as dirt. I feel that any alien curious about Earth should not be introduced to Jesus, but, to the Pinball Wizard! If the Old Testament had a rock opera it would not be able to compete with Pete Townshend's and Ken Russell's deaf, dumb, and blind musical baby.

3) Porky's - Sex

I could congratulate the makers of this movie for cluing me in to the sexual hi-jinks that I might encounter when entering my teen years. How can anyone forget the girls' locker room shower scene or the female coach "howling" during gym class? Hormones are flying during every scene.

4) The Agronomist - Society

This documentary about one man's battle to bring democracy to his declining country is the perfect example of man's relation to society.

5) Battle Royale - Violence

For this category, I recommend Japan's film phenomenon: Battle Royale. A class of high school students are trapped on a desert island courtesy of their government. They are each strapped w. a bomb on their necks and given a random weapon. And their only means of escape is to eliminate all of their fellow classmates. Only one must be left alive. Need I say more.

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

Dr_Gor — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 03:39:24 GMT

Dirty Harry ; Big Jake ; The 13th Warrior ; The Road Warrior ; Death Wish IV ... they would probably be hesitant to **** with us after watching these...

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

Proteus — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 01:43:00 GMT

Hey, stranger. How's tricks? Here's a brief overview of life on earth, in 5 or so languages:

5. Akira Kurosawa's Dreams: An overview of human foibles and achievements, presented with unflinching sympathy and penetrating understanding.

4. The Maltese Falcon: Honor and integrity and everything (drugs, money, sex, etc.) combatting it in a fast-paced, but tightly focused character study. Has the double virtue of leaving Casablanca to be seen at some other point down the road.

3. Jules & Jim: Love and Romance, and the importance of knowing the difference. How life feels to the young, and how decisions can be made without regard for consequences, based on intuition, principle, and ambiguity.

2. The Tin Drum: The follies of youth in competition with the absurdity of life and the misery of war - a firm lesson on the harsh realities of life, and the redemptive power of imagination and individuality.

1. My Life as a Dog - a second helping of the lessons of The Tin Drum, this masterpiece provides a thorough and detailed example of what is is to grow up human.

Bonus pick: Not really a movie, One Giant Leap is a fantastic musical and philosophical experiment - with a wealth of voices talking about big stuff, but almost never preaching or lecturing. Almost all the subjects covered are significant, and the perspective is attractive and unique.

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

jackfly11 — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 00:21:08 GMT

I could be overthinking this, but I tried to stick to the following "rules":

1. No Aliens or Sci-Fi Films: Honestly, isn't this kind of like trying to dazzle a Japanese tourist with your homemade Samurai videos? These sorts of movies exist for human beings to fantasize about space and alien life-forms, and they probably won't have much to give an extra terrestrial viewer. It pained me to leave off E.T.

2. No Genre films of any kind: Let's assume the alien life form will take virtually everything we send them literally. And let's assume that we don't want to freak them out too badly. Show them Jaws and they'll be terrified of our oceans. Show them Lord of the Rings and they might think they need to bring gifts for the hobbits and orcs. So no Mary Poppins. No Wizard of Oz.

3. No Sex, No Violence: First impressions are everything. We want to present ourselves as a peaceful and approachable race here and the last thing we want is a team of extra-terrestrials arriving with their guns drawn because they think that's the norm. In reality, this narrows the list significantly and, oddly enough, kind of rules out most 70's films I considered. No Godfather. No Apocalypse Now. Not even any Kubrick.

With that in mind, I came up with the following:

5. Grave of the Fireflies - I wanted an animated film in here and this was the most impactful and realistic animated film that I could think of. There's a tremendous amount of soul and character to the movie and the fact that it focuses so tenderly on childhood hope and tragedy means that it'll give the extra-terrestrial life-forms a lot to consider about our planet without necessarily thinking the worst of us. Plus it might make them cry.

4. Gates of Heaven - I really wanted to include a documentary and what better document of the unique human experience than this Errol Morris film? If they arrive at the Washington monument thinking that we idolize our pets to an unusual degree, they wouldn't be wrong. (I also considered Spellbound in this spot because of its focus on children.)

3. Ikiru - A Kurosawa masterpiece that doesn't involve a lot of swordplay. Not to mention a film that shows the best intentions of humankind with an authentic human experience. Here's hoping that the stunning beauty and breathtaking ending isn't lost on off-world viewers.

2. The General - I tried to avoid comedy because it relies almost entirely on context and dialogue, but here's a comedy that might be, quite literally, universal. I considered City Lights in this spot also, but I'm a Keaton man now and forever.

1. Singin' In the Rain - How could we not include a musical? And in fact, how about the best Hollywood musical ever made? This was the easy pick as far as I'm concerned. This much movie candy will bring the extra-terrestrials to Earth with nothing but good intentions and Gene Kelly dance moves. Classic.

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

Risselada — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 22:14:14 GMT

El_Roderino:
5) Forrest Gump - A great look at (recent) history through the eyes of an "outsider," if you will. It's hard to not be moved by the observations of life from someone with as much childlike wonder as the main character. A great intro to human nature and the potential greatness in all of us.

I actually thought about this for a moment, but I really believe you get more out of this movie based on the more you already lived through or at least knew about all of the events that occured in the 20th century. I think if you weren't already familiar with them, you wouldn't learn anything about them. The movie makes an assumption that you already know, and that's why it works because it lets you look at the events in a new way.

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

Risselada — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 22:11:30 GMT

1. The 7 Up series. Ok, I haven't even seen it all yet, but so far it seems to say more about humanity, it's journey, it's internal and outward struggles and joys more than anything else.

2. Planet Earth. Let's not be so conceited to only present them with HUMAN life on earth. Of course David Attenborough's narration will reveal our penchant for hyperbole.

3. The Singing Detective. Here we get the exploration of a character's self throughout his entire life. We see how the events of his life are like a mystery when trying to look through his memory for clues as to the way he is. Isn't this search the goal of all good art? And we get to see how art informs life and back again. We get some good meta-fiction and a portrayal of several different genres as genres inform our lives. Musicals, film noir, mystery, drama, comedy, all of it. And I named the American version instead of the original because it is great, and not just so I could break my trend of series that have come from Britain.

4. The Seventh Seal. For the varying human reactions to religion and death, I think this tops them all. If aliens don't even know these concepts, this would be a good lesson.

5. Rashomon. Something from the east is needed, and with Kurosawa being the ambassador of eastern films to the west, let's give the aliens that same film. This tells a lot about storytelling, how humans communicate, what their motivations are, and how the world is subjective.

I actually just started watching Pather Panchali recently and I'm excited to see the rest of the movie and the series. This looks like potentially a trilogy that could fit on this list, but I don't want to say until I finish it.

Also, has anyone ever seen the Human Condition trilogy? It has amazing ratings on IMDB, and the name sounds perfect.

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

JillH — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 20:23:27 GMT

Why not just send him The Pantheon? Annie Hall will explain our fatalistic love lives. Chinatown will depict our corrupt nature. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest will serve many purposes, letting him know that we are 1)crazy 2)paranoid and 3)dictatorial. The Godfather will depict our corrupt nature... and our propensity to be loyal and uphold honor. And Star Wars will, if nothing else, give him a good laugh when he sees what we've come up with when we tried to imagine his species.

That's five. I hope this alien has more than a two week trial of Netflix; we haven't even gotten to the paradoxical heartbreak of success shown in Citizen Kane. I know you're not supposed to talk about these anymore, but you've gotta go with the Pantheon here, to impress the alien with Earth's (ok, America's) high caliber of movie-making.

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

El_Roderino — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 17:55:56 GMT

5) Forrest Gump - A great look at (recent) history through the eyes of an "outsider," if you will. It's hard to not be moved by the observations of life from someone with as much childlike wonder as the main character. A great intro to human nature and the potential greatness in all of us.

4) the aforementioned Schindler's List - A warning of the worst capabilities of human beings. At least they couldn't say they weren't warned.

3) The Ten Commandments - Yeah, I know, we're not all Christian. But, this is a huge interpretation of the mythos by which much of the world bases it's beliefs. We may as well communicate it.

2) Anything with The Three Stooges. Mainly, because after viewing the last two, they'd need a laugh, and this one's a no brainier. And, also, because someone already took The Wizard of Oz.

1) Last, but not least, Close Encounters of the Third Kind . Something to tell them we are just as curious about them as they are of us. The final sequence, where the entire crowd eyes the alien ship with eyes wide with that mix of curiosity, fright, and wonder, would be the perfect invitation to come on down. The popcorn's on us.

Sorry, two Spielberg flicks. So sue me.

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

chuggalug88 — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 14:54:19 GMT

1. Dr Strangelove - it shows how loveably stupid and self-destructive we are (lesson 1 - DEATH)

2. The Apartment - it shows how stupidly loveable and self-destructive we all are (lesson 2 -SEX)

3. Fight Club - it shows how we want to be loveable yet self-destructive but also "carved outa wood" (lesson 3 - MEN)

4. Heathers - because this movie contains everything you need to know about humanity (lesson 4 - WOMEN)

5. Starman - well, because it's a movie about an alien trying to understand earth. Sort of like the "Earth for total idoits" guide. (lesson 5 - JEFF BRIDGES)

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

sa54d — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 23:40:49 GMT

Others have already thought of my idea: that the aliens may want to conquer us and therefore the movies selected should attempt to convince them to find easier pickings elsewhere. And a interplanetary civilization such as ours has absolutely no hope against an inter-stellar civilization. It's Pizzaro vs. the Incas, only worse for us. But maybe the aliens just want to find out more about us before they strike, on the off chance that we have some capability that they can not readily observe? Assuming we're trying to dissuade the aliens from trying to attack us my five suggestions are inspired by the "Twilight Zone" episode in which Andy Devine scares off an alien invasion by telling tall tales which the aliens believe to be literally true.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. I almost went with Azkaban but the aliens likey understand physics well enough to know that you can not ever go back in time, and then that would give the game away. But any sufficiently advanced technology, to one who does not understand it, is indistinguishable from magic. Levitation, transfiguration, channeling energy through a mysterious device called a "wand" could scare the willies out of credulous aliens. And we show them that even our children can take on a Basalisk.

War of the Worlds. The original, maybe they'll think it's a documentary?

The Ten Commandments. If the aliens are in any way religious, this should put the fear in them.

Spaceballs. If watching this Mel Brooks movie doesn't unsettle them, then maybe they'll become hopelessly confused.

Poltergeist. How do aliens know whether or not ghosts really exist? Although almost any ghost movie would do, I choose one where the ghosts have some ability to influence and interact with the physical world. If this movie doesn't scare 'em off, nothing will.

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

bavmotors1 — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 15:38:04 GMT

Contact. The alien has searched the “big ass sky” to find tiny Earth. Contact relates what the experience is like for human kind. The search for alien life might be the only similar effort the two species share. The question Elanor Arroway asks at the end is one I think we'd hope to get the answer to. You know... as long as we're talking.
Blood Diamond. Of all the geopolitical movies out there an exposition of the ultra poor dying so the ultra rich can have (or even worse lock away in a box) symbolic trinkets that neither feed nor clothe them is probably the most telling.
Legends of the Fall. The story of the most important unit in human interaction – family – intertwined with race, war, romance, human frailty, nature and economics (albeit all North American variations) would give a sense of what cannot be taught – human love.
The Shawshank Redemption. Hope is the most important human emotion – love being a subset of hope (in my opinion). And to quote a different movie, “Hope. It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest triumph, and your greatest weakness.” Also a fairly accurate description of how prisoners are treated would be educational according to Pearl S. Buck and Winston Churchill.
Predator. The message here: don't f*ck with us. Perhaps the alien being is so far advanced that the destruction of Earth and/or human kind is laughably easy but they should know we go down fighting.

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

leeroy711 — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 20:02:42 GMT

SkyPilot:

leeroy711:

I'd probably just screw with them

1. Delicatessen - yeah, we eat each other

2. Night of the Living Dead - sometimes it gets out of hand

3. American Movie - this is documentary of our president

4. The Doom Generation - another gripping documentary

6. Brazil - and we all lived happily ever after.

leeroy, part of what I really like about this post is that it jumps from 4 to 6. part of the 'screwing with them' tactic, right?

Actually it's a well known fact that most extraterrestrials have no concept of the number 5. They simply skip it. If you have four of something it's actually illegal for you to gain only one more, and likewise if you have 6 of something. This is the way of their poeple, I didn't write the rules.

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

forticus — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 12:57:40 GMT

SEX.....Boogie Nights

DRUGS.....Requiem For A Dream

ROCK N ROLL.....Spinal Tap

Religion.....Wicker Man (1973)

Life.....Citizen Kane

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

CaesarRomanus — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 08:58:05 GMT

The #1 for this list is obvious to anyone who has seen the film. The problem is, so few have seen it.

Koyaanisqatsi (1982)

Koyaanisqatsi was a ground breaking film (not a movie) which basically created to show life on Earth. There is no plot, no dialogue, there are no actors. It sounds like the ultimate in art house pretension, yet if you give it 10-15 minutes, you'll be engrossed.

Check out the trailer here: http://www.videodetective.com/movies/KOYAANISQATSI/trailer/P00137822.htm

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

laylor — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 08:24:17 GMT

1. Office Space

-the drudgery of day to day life is important for them to see, in case they are expecting earth to be the best thing ever every single day

2. Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex but Were afraid to Ask...

-a humorous look at how we "do it"...what to and what not to expect

3. American History X

-sometimes we just don't get along, unfortunately

4. Starship Troopers

-don't be surprised if we are incredibly scared by you

5. Epic Movie

-we sometimes think we are funny but fail miserably

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

SkyPilot — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 04:48:34 GMT

leeroy711:

I'd probably just screw with them

1. Delicatessen - yeah, we eat each other

2. Night of the Living Dead - sometimes it gets out of hand

3. American Movie - this is documentary of our president

4. The Doom Generation - another gripping documentary

6. Brazil - and we all lived happily ever after.

leeroy, part of what I really like about this post is that it jumps from 4 to 6. part of the 'screwing with them' tactic, right?

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

leeroy711 — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 04:05:30 GMT

I'd probably just screw with them

1. Delicatessen - yeah, we eat each other

2. Night of the Living Dead - sometimes it gets out of hand

3. American Movie - this is documentary of our president

4. The Doom Generation - another gripping documentary

6. Brazil - and we all lived happily ever after.

Dont Mess with Humans

zarodinu — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 03:53:18 GMT

My letter to the alien, things implied but not written are bolded.

Greetings space neighbor! We are glad to meet you and are looking forward for to sharing our galaxy with your people. Included with this message are five movies to teach you all about the kind, peace loving, and gentle earth inhabitants known as humans.

Since you kindly provided your address for the Netflix account, we now know where your home world is located. Today we are sending you movies; tomorrow it might be a neutron bomb, so tread carefully. In case you mean us harm, here are five reasons you should think twice before launching the armada.

5. Quest for Fire - Learn all about the humble beginnings of our species as we struggled to create fire and hide from predators while slowly becoming self aware.

We are one evolutionary step away from apes and a few short millennia away from eating one another. Through countless trials and endless killing we became the dominant species of our planet, FEAR US.

4. Seven Samurai – A great film showcasing one of the many unique cultures humans have created.

Ever since we rose above the animals we proceeded to murder one another on a massive scale. This film showcases just how hard humans will fight for the smallest things, how we have hidden strengths not easily apparent, and how we will always band together against an outside threat. Vow to anyone stupid enough to wage war on us.

3. Doctor Strangelove – Humans are renowned for their zany sense of humor! Kick back and laugh along with one of the best comedies our planet has produced.

As the movie reveals, not only are we warmongering savages, we are also crazy and self destructive. Our unpredictable and violent nature means we will commit the most horrendous acts without any regard for self preservation. If a war starts we will not hesitate to destroy both you and ourselves.

2. Clerks – Check out a pair of ordinary modern humans as they go through the routine of their daily lives!

Aside from all the previous observations about us, notice also how lazy and unproductive we are. So if you are looking for a species to enslave for free labor, we are the worst choice in the universe.

1. Alien – You must understand that humans have great fears about alien life. This movie reveals how we may see you, so please be careful and thoughtful when trying to make contact with our people.

Since we are violent and barbaric we tend to suspect other beings are just as evil as we are. Don’t expect us to buy any of that “we come in peace” nonsense, or to think you are some kind of Gods come to deliver us. Even as I write this we are arming our nukes to give your spaceships a proper welcoming salute. So how about you guys stay on your end of the galaxy, and we will stay on ours, got it?

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

standalonematt — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 03:03:31 GMT

Well I figured since this was about life on earth and the experience varies depending on culture - I figured I would throw together a not-well-thought list that represents certain human emotions - and make me feel "human"

Amelie - (Love)

It's A Wonderful Life (Hope)

To Kill A Mockingbird (Honor)

Grave of the Fireflies (Horror/War)

Requium for a Dream (Addiction)

Couldn't make it all positive.

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

AlexaSchlosser — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 01:46:07 GMT

1. Love Actually -- Maybe not the most realistic representation of love on planet Earth, but the copious amount of varied stories on the theme might be helpful to an arriving alien.

2. Elf -- The story is pretty much an alien trying to fit into the real world. I think any non-Earthling could benefit from some of the tips Papa Elf imposes on Buddy, especially not to eat leftover gum.

3. Babel -- Very important Netflix fodder for an alien because it does not just showcase American cities and American problems, it is an Earth affair that tackles issues of communication, something an alien could easily relate to.

4. Lost in Translation -- A variation on the alien-in-a-new-land theme. Bill Murray gives a performance that maybe the most apathetic and sarcastic of aliens could get down with. Although I don't think that an alien is going to find its Scarlett Johannson counterpart quite as easily, or beautifully.

5. The Good Girl -- How do you know that this alien isn't going to visit a small town in the Midwest? There's no way he's going to understand the ways of the world with only movies with locations in large cities. He will need a taste of the muted and mundane side of life as well.

I think it's important to note that these are all relatively new movies not because I don't appreciate what older and classic films have to offer for those of the green-skinned ilk, but it's important for a newcomer to understand the times as they are now, not as they were in the 50s or 60s. Both eras could render him completely useless in everyday interactions.

Oh and I did want to posit a possible sub-question about the absolute worst movie to show an alien coming to Earth for the first time. Something along the lines of Lord of the Rings or Terminator 2 that might really confuse or frighten someone not aware that life on Earth does not actually consist of people made of steel who can melt and re-form or have hair like Edward Furlong.

Re:TOP 5 MOVIES TO TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH

mercurial — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 19:35:35 GMT

Without knowing the specifics (their intellectual stylings, are they little green men or resemble earthlings?, etc.) here are the films I would expose the mysterious extraterrestrials to:

1.) Galaxy Quest - If they are just toying with us and waiting to decimate our planet, this will show them that it'll be pretty easy. If they are peaceful E.T.-like beings then it will show them a range of human emotion, the range of human technology, and our interest in understanding other worlds.

2.) History of the World, Part I - Face it, it's an hour and a half summation of human experience on Earth and a good representation of how humans act and perceive themselves.

3.) Xala - Might as well show them how corrupt and pathetic humans can be upfront.

4.) The Wizard of Oz - We're dreamers till the day we die so why not show them a fantastic exploration of hope, love and imagination that typifies us human beings.

5.) Babel - Very good recent example of life on Earth and the growing interconnectivity between human beings on every part of it. Again with the love, loss, fear and myriad other emotions that would be good for an extraterrestrial to know prior to trying to communicate with us on a large scale.

If it were television shows it would be a lot easier, just give 'em a couple seasons of The Simpsons and Planet Earth.

TEACH AN ALIEN ABOUT EARTH: WE HAVE IGNITION

SkyPilot — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 17:15:49 GMT

Hey guys,

You can see the winner on page 5 of this discussion thread. You can also hear Adam and Matty discuss the contest on the Filmspotting podcast.

Our next challenge: take the red pill, recast The Matrix (1999).

Have a good holiday weekend,

skypilot

Top 5 Movies to Teach an Alien About Earth

The year is 2010. The United States has a black president, people play golf with titanium sticks, cars are powered by--of all things--hydrogen, and Netflix offers every movie ever made on the Internet.

NASA gets a signal from an extra-terrestrial life form. The alien has just signed up for Netflix and wants five movies that will teach it about life on Earth. For reasons too elaborate to explain, you--yes you--have been picked to choose these five movies.

Do you go historical with Schindler's List? Or put a positive spin on things with Dumbo? Do you explain children with A Christmas Story and old people with Cocoon? Or do you really roll the dice and send them War of the Worlds?

--Paul