Worst Movie Ever

Re:And the winners are...

Risselada — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 17:33:58 GMT

davisfreeberg:

Which one is worse a remake of an unknown film that is truly horrible or a remake of a classic that is at least a little watchable?

Is the original unknown film any good?

Re:And the winners are...

csprague — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 18:22:00 GMT

STEPHENtheDIRECTOR:

Okay, so you guys obviously finished this, but I thought I'd put my two cents in...

I'm going to go with Mission: Impossible 2

Because it ruined a t.v. show, a sequel to (not a great movie) an incredibly stylistic film (DePalma sucks with style), but most of all because it took one of my favorite movies of all time and took it's story and massacred it. That film being Alfred Hitchcock's 1946 Notorious.

Indeed. It was a sad situation all the way around.

Re:And the winners are...

STEPHENtheDIRECTOR — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 02:13:09 GMT

Okay, so you guys obviously finished this, but I thought I'd put my two cents in...

I'm going to go with Mission: Impossible 2

Because it ruined a t.v. show, a sequel to (not a great movie) an incredibly stylistic film (DePalma sucks with style), but most of all because it took one of my favorite movies of all time and took it's story and massacred it. That film being Alfred Hitchcock's 1946 Notorious.

Re:And the winners are...

davisfreeberg — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 14:37:27 GMT

Which one is worse a remake of an unknown film that is truly horrible or a remake of a classic that is at least a little watchable?

Re:And the winners are...

laylor — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 04:50:55 GMT

I know this is over and done with but, uh, I don't think Coolio was in Get Over It. The experience viewing that movie was indeed torturous but I do remember Sisqo but Coolio is definitely not in that movie. I do remember him in that embarassing movie Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the 13th. Awful.

spout:

I have two copies to give away, so I'm going to go ahead and declare the winners:

williamdouglasb:

The worst modern retelling of a classic should be Whatever it Takes, a teen makeover of Cyrano DeBergerac. It was one of the flood of teen flicks trying to cash in on the success of She's All That (itself a remake of George Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion). Of course, Roxanne covered Cyrano DeBergerac in many better ways. For one, it understood the hero is suppose to be a loser; teen hunk Shane West played this loser with no fake nose or deformity other than the abilty to play the accordion. Second, the guy he helps is unsympathetic as played by James Franco, who did go on to better things. This hurts the film in the sense that we don't struggle in deciding who the girl they desire (the hot "nerd" girl next door) should end up with. Of course, it takes the hero a long time to go after her since he is at first smitten with the despicable teen queen Franco hooks him up with. Love is not blind in this story; it is just shallow.

I love the line "with no other deformity than the ability to play an accordian"... brilliant!

ElCid2002:

"Get Over It" - Misummer Nights Dream - When you've got Sisqo and Coolio involved with Shakespeare you know it's bad. Add to that Kirsten Dunst who peaked at age 6 and you're treading in very dangerous water.

Really, when you have rappers in any film you know its bad as there is a well known mathmatical formula that shows how each additional rapper exponentially increases the suck-effect of the film. See graph below:

*Note: Sisqo achieves an even faster exponential increase as he is not even a rapper, merely a washed-up R&B artist.

Thanks for your participation everyone! Your DVD's will be on the way shortly (sorry!) ;-}

Re:And the winners are...

seely — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 18:13:35 GMT

Glad you appreciate my incredibly awesome Photoshopp skills :-}

ElCid2002:

That rapper graph is hilarious!!!

Re:And the winners are...

ElCid2002 — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 15:58:31 GMT

That rapper graph is hilarious!!!

And the winners are...

spout — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 20:03:17 GMT

I have two copies to give away, so I'm going to go ahead and declare the winners:

williamdouglasb:

The worst modern retelling of a classic should be Whatever it Takes, a teen makeover of Cyrano DeBergerac. It was one of the flood of teen flicks trying to cash in on the success of She's All That (itself a remake of George Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion). Of course, Roxanne covered Cyrano DeBergerac in many better ways. For one, it understood the hero is suppose to be a loser; teen hunk Shane West played this loser with no fake nose or deformity other than the abilty to play the accordion. Second, the guy he helps is unsympathetic as played by James Franco, who did go on to better things. This hurts the film in the sense that we don't struggle in deciding who the girl they desire (the hot "nerd" girl next door) should end up with. Of course, it takes the hero a long time to go after her since he is at first smitten with the despicable teen queen Franco hooks him up with. Love is not blind in this story; it is just shallow.

I love the line "with no other deformity than the ability to play an accordian"... brilliant!

ElCid2002:

"Get Over It" - Misummer Nights Dream - When you've got Sisqo and Coolio involved with Shakespeare you know it's bad. Add to that Kirsten Dunst who peaked at age 6 and you're treading in very dangerous water.

Really, when you have rappers in any film you know its bad as there is a well known mathmatical formula that shows how each additional rapper exponentially increases the suck-effect of the film. See graph below:

*Note: Sisqo achieves an even faster exponential increase as he is not even a rapper, merely a washed-up R&B artist.

Thanks for your participation everyone! Your DVD's will be on the way shortly (sorry!) ;-}

Re:'Worst 'Modern' Retelling of a Classic' DVD Giveaway Contest!

seely — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 17:50:32 GMT

Dr_Gor:

Wow. The Longest Yard . I had almost forgotten what a piece of crap that was. Some highly intellegent (and well paid) studio executive came up with the brilliant idea of remaking a CLASSIC, hardcore R-rated, and VERY good, football in prison movie. "Only this time let's tone it down a bit and make it PG-13 so everyone can see it!" ... Yeah. That worked real well...

< GOR >

Good call! I saw a the remake BEFORE seeing the original and was shocked at how different the two films were. The new one had none of the grit of the original, and was purely family-friendly drivel beginning to end.

Re:'Worst 'Modern' Retelling of a Classic' DVD Giveaway Contest!

Dr_Gor — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 23:27:54 GMT

ElCid2002:

While I don't have any that involve Munchkin Rape I've got a few pretty terrible remakes...

"O" - Othello - I know it was mentioned, but you really can't comprehend how terrible this film was. I was living in Charleston, SC when this came out and since it was filmed there I watched it for the local scenery. Wow! It was awful.

"Get Over It" - Misummer Nights Dream - When you've got Sisqo and Coolio involved with Shakespeare you know it's bad. Add to that Kirsten Dunst who peaked at age 6 and you're treading in very dangerous water.

"Tromeo & Juliet" - Romeo & Juliet - The tagline says it all... Body Piercing, Kinky Sex, Dismemberment. The Things That Made Shakespeare Great

"The Longest Yard" - Really... We're going to replace Jim Hampton's classic Caretaker with Chris Rock... Nope. Swing and a miss.

"Poseidon" - The Poseidon Adventure - I won't even dignify this with a response.

"Pink Panther" - The Pink Panther - Replacing Peter Sellers with Stever Martin = Steaming Bucket of Crap.

Wow. The Longest Yard . I had almost forgotten what a piece of crap that was. Some highly intellegent (and well paid) studio executive came up with the brilliant idea of remaking a CLASSIC, hardcore R-rated, and VERY good, football in prison movie. "Only this time let's tone it down a bit and make it PG-13 so everyone can see it!" ... Yeah. That worked real well...

< GOR >

Re:'Worst 'Modern' Retelling of a Classic' DVD Giveaway Contest!

leeroy711 — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 15:53:02 GMT

joem18b:

leeroy711:

I think that one was better than She's All That; which also seemed to be just another version of The Taming of the Shrew. I think that's gotta be the most overdone Shakespear. And it's never good.

Diablo Cody is supposedly doing a treatment of Taming. She had some money available to her for the project via Spielberg and DreamWorks, but that fell through.

Shakespeare used to make up words, and Cody invented "slutwaffle," so maybe she'll do a good job.

Diablo Cody didn't invent 'slutwaffle'............ she just named it....................... I invented it, but I wanted to call it a 'Royale with Cheese'.... she said that name was allready taken.

Re:'Worst 'Modern' Retelling of a Classic' DVD Giveaway Contest!

StTracy — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 20:57:47 GMT

THE TRUTH ABOUT CHARLIE - Demme needs to be bitchslapped for this horrible remake of CHARADE...

'Worst 'Modern' Retelling of a Classic' DVD Giveaway Contest!

ElCid2002 — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 20:57:29 GMT

While I don't have any that involve Munchkin Rape I've got a few pretty terrible remakes...

"O" - Othello - I know it was mentioned, but you really can't comprehend how terrible this film was. I was living in Charleston, SC when this came out and since it was filmed there I watched it for the local scenery. Wow! It was awful.

"Get Over It" - Misummer Nights Dream - When you've got Sisqo and Coolio involved with Shakespeare you know it's bad. Add to that Kirsten Dunst who peaked at age 6 and you're treading in very dangerous water.

"Tromeo & Juliet" - Romeo & Juliet - The tagline says it all... Body Piercing, Kinky Sex, Dismemberment. The Things That Made Shakespeare Great

"The Longest Yard" - Really... We're going to replace Jim Hampton's classic Caretaker with Chris Rock... Nope. Swing and a miss.

"Poseidon" - The Poseidon Adventure - I won't even dignify this with a response.

"Pink Panther" - The Pink Panther - Replacing Peter Sellers with Stever Martin = Steaming Bucket of Crap.

Re:'Worst 'Modern' Retelling of a Classic' DVD Giveaway Contest!

seely — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 14:08:31 GMT

Dr_Gor:

When I was 15 or 16 I snuck into a theatre to watch an X-rated version of The Wizard of OZ . This was an English made production that was set in (at the time) modern day London. "Dorothy" was a teenage runaway and "The Wicked Witch" was a fat, hairy truck driver who repeatedly rapes her.

Thats intense... I think we may have a clear, uncontested winner! :-}

Re:'Worst 'Modern' Retelling of a Classic' DVD Giveaway Contest!

joem18b — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 01:51:10 GMT

yeah, that reminds me of the classic "little red riding in the hood."

Re:'Worst 'Modern' Retelling of a Classic' DVD Giveaway Contest!

Dr_Gor — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 21:28:57 GMT

When I was 15 or 16 I snuck into a theatre to watch an X-rated version of The Wizard of OZ . This was an English made production that was set in (at the time) modern day London. "Dorothy" was a teenage runaway and "The Wicked Witch" was a fat, hairy truck driver who repeatedly rapes her. I don't remember too many details other than it was very low budget and dark and gritty and dirty looking. It was pretty bad! Actually, I would like to find this movie somewhere so I can watch it again so if any of you have any ideas where to look please let me know.

This was in the early 1970's when there were also X-rated versions of Alice in Wonderland (which was actually pretty good and starred one of the most beautiful women on the planet at that time, Kristine DeBell) and, of course, Flesh Gordon which was pretty good as well.

< GOR >

Re:'Worst 'Modern' Retelling of a Classic' DVD Giveaway Contest!

joem18b — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 21:06:44 GMT

leeroy711:

I think that one was better than She's All That; which also seemed to be just another version of The Taming of the Shrew. I think that's gotta be the most overdone Shakespear. And it's never good.

Diablo Cody is supposedly doing a treatment of Taming. She had some money available to her for the project via Spielberg and DreamWorks, but that fell through.

Shakespeare used to make up words, and Cody invented "slutwaffle," so maybe she'll do a good job.

Re:'Worst 'Modern' Retelling of a Classic' DVD Giveaway Contest!

leeroy711 — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 19:26:56 GMT

mercurial:

10 Things I Hate About You - Ok, so I kinda liked this one, but it's here because it contributed to future butcherings like Another Cinderella Story.

I think that one was better than She's All That; which also seemed to be just another version of The Taming of the Shrew. I think that's gotta be the most overdone Shakespear. And it's never good.

Re:'Worst 'Modern' Retelling of a Classic' DVD Giveaway Contest!

seely — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 16:43:22 GMT

Okay, theres still about 300 modern remakes that completely suck out there no one has mentioned...

Re:'Worst 'Modern' Retelling of a Classic' DVD Giveaway Contest!

joem18b — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 05:33:54 GMT

The Bible (1966) - Peter O'Toole as the (drunk) Three Angels; John Houston as God, Noah, and the serpent; Stephen Boyd as Nimrod the nimrod. A remake of a classic book named "The Bible."

also

Thumb Wars: The Phantom Cuticle (1999) - A remake of the classic "Star Wars." I forget which finger or thumb played which character, except that Jim Hope played Commander Cuticle, the Annoying Pilot, and the Effeminate Thumb.

Re:'Worst 'Modern' Retelling of a Classic' DVD Giveaway Contest!

mercurial — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 02:00:10 GMT

I think Julia Stiles is the queen of starring in horrible modern retellings of classic films and novels.

O - You beat me to it, but damn, that was one terrible re-imagining of Othello.

Hamlet - Another butchering of Shakespeare. Just bad.

The Prince & Me - No, no, no, no, no.

10 Things I Hate About You - Ok, so I kinda liked this one, but it's here because it contributed to future butcherings like Another Cinderella Story.

The Omen - What could possibly have been improved on the original?

Re:'Worst 'Modern' Retelling of a Classic' DVD Giveaway Contest!

williamdouglasb — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 23:19:57 GMT

The worst modern retelling of a classic should be Whatever it Takes, a teen makeover of Cyrano DeBergerac. It was one of the flood of teen flicks trying to cash in on the success of She's All That (itself a remake of George Bernard Shaw's Pygmalion). Of course, Roxanne covered Cyrano DeBergerac in many better ways. For one, it understood the hero is suppose to be a loser; teen hunk Shane West played this loser with no fake nose or deformity other than the abilty to play the accordion. Second, the guy he helps is unsympathetic as played by James Franco, who did go on to better things. This hurts the film in the sense that we don't struggle in deciding who the girl they desire (the hot "nerd" girl next door) should end up with. Of course, it takes the hero a long time to go after her since he is at first smitten with the despicable teen queen Franco hooks him up with. Love is not blind in this story; it is just shallow.

'Worst 'Modern' Retelling of a Classic' DVD Giveaway Contest!

spout — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 20:03:40 GMT

Over the years, Hollywood has felt the need to 'update' many classics. Whether it's the Grimm Fairytales, Shakespeare or a much-beloved Disney tale, there have been ten terrible adaptations for every good one. Which one takes the cake for "Worst Modern Retelling of a Classic", and why?

Share your pick with us, and if we like what you have to say, we'll send you another butchered classic--Warner Brother's Another Cinderella Story starring teen heart-throbs Drew Seeley (no relation to myself--I swear) and Selena Gomez.