One Missed Call (2008)

One Missed Call should get the 2008 prize for "Most Movies Imitated, Least Sense Made." Many remakes of Japanese horrors bear some thematic resemblance to each other -- in fact, you could call the modern Japanese horror a genre unto itself. But One Missed Call is so nakedly a retread of The Ring -- with a mysterious phone call portending the recipient's impending death -- that it's hard to figure out how the producers aren't ashamed of themselves. So to blur the similarities, the screenwriters fill in the gaps with so much meaningless hooey that it becomes an orgy of would-be creepy images with nothing connecting them. Why does your own self call you from the future, moments before your death? How are the victims connected, other than all being characters in the movie? Why does a red sphere the size of a gumball drop from your mouth after you've been killed? How is any of this related to a burning building in the opening scene? It's no secret that the Japanese originals of these films get by more on the eerie mood they create than on logic. So a literal translation -- without that enviable mood -- often ends up looking like One Missed Call. Among a cast of mostly interchangeable teen types, Ed Burns stands out for two seemingly contradictory reasons: 1) he's had enough Hollywood success that he should be above schlock like this; 2) he's incapable of a human reaction to anything that happens in the plot, most notably the death of his character's sister. One Missed Call boasted an unsettling poster featuring a ghostly white figure with two screaming mouths for eyes. Not long into this dud, viewers' own eyes will sympathize. ~ Derek Armstrong, All Movie Guide