Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid (2004)

Review by All Movie Guide
First things first, there's nothing in Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid as beautifully outlandish as Jon Voight winking at the camera in the first one -- that said, this cheeseball sequel is still a fun and incredibly stupid time at the movies. Basically an exact rehash of the original, complete with a bootleg J. Lo actress and countless major plot points stolen from the first film, Anacondas isn't trying to change the big snake genre as much as it's having fun with the rules. Playing the hunky male lead role and appropriately named Bill Johnson (that's right, Bill Johnson, folks!), Johnny Messner leads a ragtag group of severely accented C-actors through the jungle as they plow through a delicious script in which mere humans win wrestling matches with giant crocodiles and the best performance award goes to a monkey. The CG anacondas themselves look no better than most made-for-cable fare, though they do now have huge rows of teeth that make them look like evil serpents in a fantasy flick, if that counts for anything. With hilarious jive-talking dialogue that will bruise your belly and an end song called "Chapow!" that's sure to damage your skull with its assault of lame pop-punk-rap-rock, most viewers will end up brutalized by the time the credits roll. The Hunt for the Blood Orchid is a good kind of hurt, though, one that's harmless in the long run and pretty swift with its 96-minute running time. To put it this way, if you "got" the original and enjoy that kind of unabashed schlock, then put on your swimsuit and dive in to this piece of charming junk -- otherwise, stay far away. ~ Jeremy Wheeler, All Movie Guide