Windbreaker!

Under discussion:

Pan's Labyrinth  (2006)

Pan and his labyrinth are only as good as the fauns who tend it.  Goat gods aren't terribly impressive on their own, so they take extra care in establishing legacies.  Pan is no exception.  This is his story.  Del Toro's movie is in spanish, so read my review for the proper interpretation.

Pan was supposed to be in charge of fauns and other similarly dorky underworld creatures who hung out at his labyrinth.  Basically all the animals who weren't invited to hip functions hung out at the labyrinth where they could play 1st-person Dungeons & Dragons without constantly being mocked.  But instead of tending his herd, the crazy wannabe god chased down every immortal skirt he could find while other gods were busy sharpening their skills (for you younger kids, Napoleon Dynamite wasn't the first kid with skills).  Guys like Apollo and Zeus were out there kicking ass while Pan was running off to band camp trying to woo some hot nymph. 

During his time at Echo Echo Band Camp, Pan created a new instrument to impress the nymphs and named it after himself -- the Panpipe.  Over time, most of Pan's fauns left his labyrinth because of his regular attempts to become hip and score with multiple under- and overworld creatures.  Pan left his home and traveled to Gaia (or earth, as we know it) where he began training pupils on his magical instrument of seduction - the Panpipe.  The music school was caught in the middle of the Spanish Civil War and all but one student perished.  Tragically, the student who survived was Zamfir.  Zamfir, Pan's legacy, the name which drives fear and nausea into any Gaia native who watched television commercials in the 1980s.

Windbreaker hearts Pan's Labyrinth.

Under discussion:

Spider-Man 3  (2007)

This movie wasn't bad.  I say that as a comic book loyalist (but not purist).  Any one of the villain plots could have been excellent.  Venom, Sandman, and Hobgoblin (Harry) all have gripping stories.  I think Venom should have been kept in the comics.  He's sci-fi, and every comic book geek knows Sam Raimi doesn't like or understand the character.  Bad choice.  I know these days everyone expects multiple baddies, and Sandman & Hob could have been combined in S3 while still having a tight plot that moved at a good pace.

Ok, so I didn't *hate* it... but, I'm going to gripe about several things now.

1. Costumes are to be worn at all times in public. This rule should rarely be broken. Showing Peter and Harry's faces all the time was ridiculous. Was I watching Peter Parker 3 or Spider-Man 3?

2. Sandman's backstory was wasted. Could have been a powerhouse drama with the sick kid. Have Harry offer to help by using his near-endless resources in exchange for squashing the spider.

3. The Uncle Ben retcon. For the love of all that is holy! Spider-Man 1 was excellent.  Spider-Man 2 was one of the best comic book movies of all time. Now they've been cheapened by this retarded move to force Spidey to hate a new villain! 

4. The abuse of Harry Osborne.  Frickin huge potential with Harry Osborne -- he should live through every single sequel.  He's Peter's Lex Luthor.  Bah! Amnesia? Then he turns bad again? Then he turns good? Lame.

Under discussion:

Samurai 1: Musashi Miyamoto  (1955)

Confession time... 2 things that will always be funny:  midgets and stutterers.  2 things that will always kick ass on DVD:  Toshiro Mifune and a samurai sword.  Let's be honest.  Superman wears Toshiro Mifune pajamas. 

The best way to watch this DVD is as Part 1 of a trilogy.  The story is tight enough that it can stand alone as a rich drama, but loose enough that plenty of space exists for stories told in the sequels.  Fortunately the subtitles were done well -- I've been *very* distracted by some poorly captioned foreign films. 

Japan is ripped apart by civil wars; men all over are choosing to fight or flee.  Some fight simply to be looked on as tough guys - that's how Mifune begins his journey to becoming a samurai.  Like the great Kurosawa flicks, there are plenty of layers to enjoy.  Swords, babes, comic relief, and more swords.  Highly recommended.