usesoap Blog

Under discussion:

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian  (2008)

The Strangers  (2008)

Iron Man  (2008)

Kung Fu Panda  (2008)

The Incredible Hulk  (2008)

The Dark Knight  (2008)

Hellboy II: The Golden Army  (2008)

Get Smart  (2008)

Hancock  (2008)

Meet Dave  (2008)

Wall-E  (2008)

The Pineapple Express  (2008)

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull  (2008)

Mamma Mia!  (2008)

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor  (2008)

The Love Guru  (2008)

The Happening  (2008)

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2  (2008)

You Don't Mess With the Zohan  (2008)

X-Files 2  (2008)

Hear that?

That is the sound of countless Botox-enhanced faces within the film industry simultaneously stretching to a smile after the opening weekend of ‘Iron Man.’

As everything else in these current economically shaky times, the film industry hobbled into 2008, weakened by a writers strike and sagging returns. Who would have thought Robert Downey Jr. would be the one to save us from this mess?

But in he flew (granted, he was playing a character by the name of Tony Stark, but really, what’s the difference?), cracking $100 million in its first weekend alone. Of course, studio execs are quick to point out all the ‘firsts’ and “biggests’ for the film – the first non-sequel film to reach that benchmark in May; Downey’s biggest opening day ever; the first comic book-inspired film that was released under a waning crescent moon to gross that much; the biggest debut of a character with an incredibly angular goatee… and so on.

It has set the bar high for slate of big releases to follow (and there’s about one a week for the next 17 or so weeks, so hunker down, film fans). So, as we are all pinching pennies, here is a list of what’s in store for the summer of ’08 so that you can budget correctly and maybe eliminate some of those ‘luxuries’ in your life – like dinner – to pack more movies in your calendar.

May !6

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Capsian (PG) -- Apparently Narnia is some ‘roided up version of dog years. The Pervensie kids return after only 12 months, but 1,000 years have passed in the magical kingdom and all is not well. Outlook: Even as it arrives in theaters, there has been such little excitement building over this film, which is truly odd considering the popularity of the first.

May 23

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull(PG-13) – That sexagenarian globe-trotter is back under the famed fedora and still looks whipsmart (whereas his other recent action films, where here merely looked whipped). The whole gang is back, both in front of and behind the camera and this time Indy is battling the Russkies (including a “She-Wolf-of the-S.S”.-looking Cate Blanchett) with the help of former flame Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen) and a young lad (Shia LaBeouf) who may or may not be his son. Outlook: The anticipation is at fever pitch, but just calm it down a tad because the story is written by George Lucas, after all.

May 30

Sex in the City: The Movie (R) – Carrie (Sara Jessica Parker) and the martini-chugging chicks from HBO strut to the big screen to witness her marriage to Mr. Big (Chris Noth). Outlook: Early screenings have been positive, and it would certainly be a step up from the syrupy-sweet (anything with Julia Roberts) or acidic (“The Sweetest Thing”) rom-coms.

The Strangers (R) – Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman are a young couple terrorized by masked assailants while vacationing in a secluded country cottage. Outlook: Go figure a scary (non-Spanish) film that actually looks legitimately scary.

June 6

You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (PG-13) – As inevitable as waiting in death-like march on Route 1 in the summertime, Adam Sandler returns to the screen with yet another annoying voice, this time as a Mossad agent who comes to America to realize his dreams of becoming a hairdresser. Outlook: Hmmmm, let’s look at director Dennis Dugan’s resume, shall we? “Problem Child,” “Beverly Hills Ninja,” “The Benchwarmers,” … must I continue?

 Kung Fu Panda (PG) – A wild and crazy group of CGI animals (are there any other kind?), band together to fulfill an ancient prophecy. Outlook: Jack Black is the titular ursine, so your tolerance for this film will pretty much rest on that bit of info right there.

June 13

The Happening (PG-13) – Raj, Dwayne, Rerun and Shirley are all…oh, wait, sorry. Guess we’ll have to wait a little longer for that “What’s Happening!” big-screen treatment. This is the latest from M. Night Shyamalan following a science teacher (Mark Wahlberg) whose family looks for answers after an environmental cataclysm. Outlook: Shyamalan’s typically secretive about this one, but promises no “big twist” ending that have become a staple of his pictures.

The Incredible Hulk (PG-13) – Only three years after its misfired attempt to jumpstart the not-so-jolly green giant’s big-screen stature, filmmakers are back trying to reboot the franchise with Edward Norton as the mild-mannered scientist Bruce Banner with severe anger-management issues. Outlook: Norton’s not helping to promote this film, which is never a good sign.

June 20

Get Smart (PG-13) – Steve Carrell answers the call of the shoe phone in this update of the corny Don Adams show from the 60s. Anne Hatthaway costars as Agent 99. Sadly, there’s no “Nude Bomb” in this one, like the device from the 80s film version. Outlook: Carrell has proven solid in television and film (“40-Year-Old Virgin”), but stumbled last summer in the most expensive comedy ever (“Evan Almighty”).

The Love Guru (PG-13) – Mike Myers steps out from behind the computer-generated comforts of “Shrek” to play an American-born, Eastern-bred spiritual advisor who helps a hockey player (played by Baby Mama” scene-stealing doorman Romany Malco) reunite with his wife. Outlook: If, after viewing the trailer, you still are interested in viewing the film, I am sure you will be very happy together. To all others, this looks to put the “sham” in shaman.

June 27

WALL-E (G) – A lonely but spritely little robot is left on Earth after its demise to clean up the mess in this latest picture form Pixar. Outlook: Did you see the last word in the previous sentence?

July 2

Hancock (PG-13) – Mr. July 4 Weekend, Will Smith, must save the world again. But this time, his hero is a boozy, womanizing boor… hey, wait. Didn’t we already have one of them at the box office this year? Wow, tough times for the caped-crusading set. Outlook: While a big-action Will Smith film is reliable as hearing illegal firecrackers go off this particular weekend, early screenings have not been kind.

The Dark Knight (PG-13) – When “Batman Begins” was released three summers ago, many critics called it the single best comic book adaptation to date. The entire creative team is back, with a couple new villains added to the mix. Aaron Eckhart stars as Harvey Dent a.k.a. Two-Face, and, of course, Heath Ledger makes one of his final big-screen appearances as The Joker. Outlook: Perhaps the most anticipated film of the summer, both from an artistic perspective and out of morbid curiosity.

July 11

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (PG-13) -- This summer, the big superhero names often bandied about are Iron Man, Batman, Will Smith and Indiana Jones. Hellboy is but a blip on the radar. And this is its second outing. The first film of the blood-red behemoth barely registered at the box office, but a little thing happened between then and now – a film called “Pan’s Labyrinth,” from “Hellboy’s director Guillermo Del Toro. Outlook:  This summer’s market is a little too crowded with crusaders, but, man, have you seen its trailer?

Meet Dave (PG-13) – Eddie Murphy reteams with his “Norbit” director Brian Robbins for more multi-Murphy madness. In “Dave,” Murphy takes on the role of a miniature spaceman who inhabits the body of a full-grown Eddie Murphy. Sigh. Instead of making films with multiple comedic roles, perhaps he should once again focus on just one role that is consistently amusing. Outlook: Even “Norbit,” a film everyone saw and no one liked, made $90 million.

July 18

Mamma Mia! (PG-13) – Another Broadway fave leaps to the big screen. This time it’s the Abba-inspired musical dancing its way into theaters with Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan. Outlook: Could be this summer’s “Hairspray,” or this summer’s “The Producers.”

July 25

Step Brothers(R) – Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly are two arrested-developing men whose parents get hitched, forcing them to live together. Outlook: OK, the whole stunted man-child in their 30s trend at the movies was getting tired, so now that both leads are in their 40s, it’s feeling a wee bit desperate.

The X-Files: I Want to Believe (PG-13) – As guarded as a government conspiracy, there is little filmmakers will reveal about the plot of the film, which reteams David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson with series creator Chris Carter. Outlook: I want to believe that people still care about this long-dead franchise, but I just don’t think they do.

Aug. 1

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)(PG-13) – Brendan Fraser again goes looking for treasure and adventure with his wife (now played by Maria Bello) and a fully grown child.  Outlook: Why the producers decided that the summer that Indiana Jones return from a 20-year absence on screen was a great time to release another one of these Indiana Jones rip-offs is beyond me. But, get used to it, as there are apparently more Mummy’s in the pipeline.

Aug. 8

Pineapple Express (R) – The title is from a purportedly potent blend of weed, which is acquired by a stoner (Seth Rogen) from his dealer (James Franco). While under said substance, Rogan’s character witnesses a murder and must escape getting caught up in it and harshing his buzz. Outlook: Producer Judd Apatow, who was hailed as the next king of comedy after the back-to-back hits of “Knocked Up” and “Superbad,” has yet to really score since (“Dewey Cox,” “Drillbit Taylor,” “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”). But that red-band trailer on the internet is high-larious.

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 (PG) – As “Empire Strikes Back” is to “Star Wars,” the second chapter is the “Pants” saga promises more drama, adventure, romance and two times the pants. Outlook: All the girls from the first film have been quite busy in the past three years (America Ferrera, Alexis Bledel and Amber Tamblyn), so … it’s got that going for it.

 With the glut of features that focus on the fears and foibles of delivery, “Baby Mama” is a few notches above the laborious “Nine Months” and precocious “Juno,” but doesn't breach the mother of modern maternity ward laugh-fests known as “Knocked Up.”

“Mama” does deserve credit for dealing with its subject matter from a relatively little-seen on-screen perspective, dealing with infertility and the woes of the working women who choose career over childbirth (though 1987's featherweight “Baby Boom” was an obvious influence here).

Reigning geek poster-girl Tina Fey (though they are roughly the same age, it still would be fitting to call her this generation's Janeane Garofolo) stars as Kate Holbrook, who is cursed with the double whammy of hitting the snooze button on her biological clock and the fact that her uterus is a tad hostile toward all incoming eggs.

During a brief look at her social life, we can see nothing but skid marks left by men with whom she shares her maternal urges, and we witness her rejection at adoption agencies who apparently view single women as a half-step above orphanages.

Enter a surrogate center that, for a price well without of range of typical childless couples, unites Kate with Angie Ostrowiski (played by Amy Poehler), who promises to rent her reproductive system.

Upon their first encounter, Angie seems to hardly be a pillar of responsibility. Pulling up in a barely breathing jalopy with her ne'er-do-well “common law” husband, Angie is the Oscar Madison to Kate's prissy Felix Unger.

A series of events leads Angie to shack up with Kate, leading to the predictable culture clashes that ensue. All of them light and harmless, enough to satisfy the masses with a steady grin, but few belly laughs that one might expect from two of the country's top comedic performers who have spent much time together on the small screen (both are graduates of “Saturday Night Live”).

It's not until Angie begins to get cold feet that things get interesting, if not necessarily amusing. It's an undermined cinematic twist that should deserve a film of its own.

And as prickly as things become, there's nary a moment's doubt the film's destined for a happy ending. Fortunately, Fey and Poehler have a comedic comfort level that invites the audience to continue to tune in. Even when newcomer writer/director Michael McCullers saddles Kate with a rather bland romance with a local merchant (played by Greg Kinnear), we are comforted in knowing she will return home to the latest child-centric calamity with Angie.

“Mama” takes baby steps toward its humor, never breaking into the full sprint one would expect if Fey herself had been responsible for the film's writing. Her keen eye may have dropped the teething ring bit into more solid (if potentially awkward) sources of laughter.

She also would have penned much meatier material for such cameo performers as Steve Martin, Maura Tierney and Sigourney Weaver. Amusing as they may be, one can only imagine the levels of awkward confrontations that might have occurred from the woman who brought us “30 Rock. “

There are certainly enough working women today facing similar woes of childless regrets, and while the subject itself may not make for uproarious comedy, it could be polished up enough to make more than a few darkly comedic jabs at. “Mama” opts for playing things with crib-like comfort, choosing to be a social commentary of class mores.

There are certainly moments of laugh-out-loud hilarity to be found in “Mama” (most notably, Poehler's tirade upon entering the hospital, ready to deliver). But too often, McCullers plays the part of the overprotective parent, never wanting its actors to wander into territory where they can really make a mess.

But, as any parent knows, when that happens with children, some of the best stories are created.

Under discussion:

Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey  (1991)

L.A. Confidential  (1997)

The Matrix  (1999)

Training Day  (2001)

Dark Blue  (2003)

Ultraviolet  (2006)

Harsh Times  (2006)

Street Kings  (2008)

The Black Dahlia  (2006)

House  (2007)

Sure, it’s good to be the king, be it Henry VII, Billie Jean or Stephen. But there are so-called “kings” of questionable virtue.

1)       The King of Pop: A dandy whose contributions to the music arts have been eclipsed by his personal predilection for young squires in his kingdom.

2)       Burger King: Rules by treating his subjects to high-fat, empty-calorie meals; contributes to obesity epidemic; stars in rather creepy commercials where he’s often depicted as a voyeur.

3)       Chess King: Flagrant violator of many laws of fashion; turns a blind eye while keeping his minions ensconced in garish, pseudo-suave outfits.

We can now add the “Street Kings” to the list of those with dubious contributions during their sovereignty. While it possesses a few complimentary attributes, its overall merits are overshadowed by a number of tired cinematic truisms.

Keanu Reeves heads a cast of misused and miscast talent in the latest police drama from a man (director David Ayer) who certainly has some issues with the boys in blue in the Los Angeles area.

Ayers, serving as director here, has penned some rather poisonous peeks into the force, including Denzel Washington’s Oscar-winning turn as a morally bankrupt cop in “Training Day,” Kurt Russell’s corrupt cop in “Dark Blue,” and served as director in a tale of a young psychopath’s (played by Christian Bale) attempt to gain a spot on the force in “Harsh Times.”

In “Kings” he follows a number of officers on a morally squalid squad who overzealously get their men, while allowing their commander (played by Forest Whittaker) to clean up any mess – such as evidence – they left behind.

And while the film boasts some electric dialogue by hard-boiled novelist James Ellroy, it’s hobbled by across-the-board performances and a plot that is as subtle as the Rodney King video.

Reeves stars as Tom Ludlow, an alcoholic, haunted force veteran who, after years if suppressing both emotion and evidence, is starting to grow a conscience. Already the role requires far too much nuance of which the limited actor is capable.

Reeves can skate by in roles that require him to appear dazed and confused (the “Bill & Ted” pictures, “The Matrix”), but when he’s asked to add subtleties of any sort, he’s walking well out of his range.

Whitaker apparently feels as though he must take up the slack, not only for Reeves, but for everyone else in the film who doesn’t get a fair chance, cinematically. Contorting his face and body to deliver even the most simple stretch to the point of unintentional comedy.

Meanwhile, the other names involved are handed throwaway parts that undercut any talent they may have. Hugh Laurie, for example, co-stars as an internal affairs officer who’s trailing Ludlow and looking to eradicate a corrupt cadre of policemen. His entrance into the film is straight out of a sitcom, though. Laurie, the current star of “House” first appears on the screen after peering from behind a curtain in – wait for it – a hospital. You half expect the soundtrack to kick in a laugh track at that point.

As mentioned earlier, there are some electric lines, probably written from Ellroy. But the best-selling author of “L. A. Confidential” and “Black Dahlia” also shares the screenplay billing with Kurt Wimmer (the director of the infamous “Ultraviolet”) and newcomer Jamie Moss. The result is a string of clichéd set-ups and takedowns that have been featured in far too many cop dramas of both big a little screens.

It brings little new to the precinct and while some snappy dialogue and scenes of intricate tension earn “Street” cred, all the “Kings” men could not put this film together again.