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  • A 'Step' in the wrong direction

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    I get the whole arrested development-style of comedy invading theaters of late.

     

    Old School” and “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” really opened wide the door of such man-boy-based humor. So it was only logical that the star of the former and the director of the latter get together to produce yet another trip to Neverland, where modern-day Peter Pans can dance with their Lost Boy compadres.

     

    The result is “Step Brothers,” which teams Will Ferrell with John C. Reilly as two men in their 40s whose remora-like existence is severed when their single parents decide to marry. Where Judd Apatow's “Virgin's” lead was more of an introverted geek who otherwise led a normal, self-sufficient life by societal standards, Ferrell and Reilly play two infantile sluggards whose puerile, petulant behavior and refusal to let go of their parents' proverbial hands would cause Oedipus himself to proclaim, “Man, those guys are messed up!”

     

    Ferrell and Reilly play Brennen and Dale, who are in their fourth decade of life and still prone to tantrums, wearing Chewbacca masks and asking permission to sleep in bunkbeds. Not only is this behavior from adults (from anyone other than Adam Sandler, who has established an entire filmography on it) not funny, it's hard not to wonder if they do not suffer from some sort of mental retardation.

     

    For they do not approach the world with childlike wonder and amusement, but rather hissy fits and unprovoked aggression. In fact, almost every laugh that manages to escape from “Step Brothers” icy, mirthless grip comes from incidental scenes which do not even feature the leads – a band that sticks to only 80s-era Billy Joel tunes, Brennen's picture-perfect younger brother and his shellacked family of Aryan-like purity.

     

    All of this seems fertile turf for Ferrell and his co-conspirators Reilly and director Adam McKay, who collaborated on “Anchorman” and “Talladega Nights.” But unlike “Brothers,” those two films had some sort of narrative drive (thread-thin as they were), with wacky environments in which to work – a 70s-era newsroom and the NASCAR circuit, respectively. By setting the film in a simple suburban environment, there is little else to occupy our minds and force us to focus on just how disturbingly odd these two grown men really are.

     

    Escaping from the travesty of what tries to pass as comedy is Mary Steenburgen as Brennan's mom (who, at 55, has never looked more radiant) and character actor Richard Jenkins as Dale's dad, both of whom play their enablers with a tad more dignity than this picture deserves.

     

    There is also some inspired support from Adam Scott, ensconced in smarm as the younger, more successful brother, and Kathryn Hahn, making her debut as Scott's repressed wife both wring their lines for all they are worth.

     

    The film's R rating gives the cast the freedom to swear like sailors on shore leave, but hearing the F-bomb deployed from Steenburgen's mouth is more sad than amusing. I am certainly the last person to chide others for gutter talk, and it can be effective when used properly, but dropping it into normal conversation just to hear it echo sounds desperate, not shocking.

     

    Ferrell and McKay have helped to create one of the internet's most amusing avenues for up-and-coming humor, called FunnyorDie.com. The premise is simple: Users can upload a comic clip, and allow the public to vote into “Immortal Status” or swing the scythe.

     

    If “Step Brothers” was posted among some of the other subversive, hysterical clips that now populate the site, it would not last a week.


  • Deleted 'Files'

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    Indiana Jones, you have been beaten.

    For the title of Most Useless Return to the Big Screen has now been stripped from your arthritic fingers and that sash can now be draped over Dana Scully and Fox Mulder, the two leads in this summer's “X Files” film, “I Want to Believe.”

    The film follows a pedophilic priest (played by Billy Connolly) whose stigmatic visions lead the FBI on a field trip to find some missing persons, including a fellow agent. The priest is eerily spot-on in his assessments, suggesting some possible paranormal connection, necessitating the call to the pre-eminent pair of investigators of the idiosyncratic, Scully (played by Gillian Anderson) and Mulder (played by David Duchovny).

    Scully is now gloomily working in a church-run hospital as the anti-Patch Adams, armed with a bag full of dour expressions and gloomy consternation instead of rubber noses and floppy shoes.

    She has secretly shacked up with former partner Mulder who shows he's changed from his days of ghost-busting by – wait for it – growing a beard. Yup, that's what passes for progression here.

    He's been long out of the game, ostracized by the agency, painted as a pariah but it takes him a total of about 20 seconds to reconsider everything and agree to help with this new case.

    What they uncover has nothing to do with black tar, bumblebees, cancer men or E.T.s. In fact none of the staples that held “Files” together are even casually mentioned (didn't the last film touch upon the fact that 2012 marked the end of the world as we know it? Well, they feel fine.).

    In fact, it's a police procedural straight out of the “CSI” playbook, with a dash of “Hostel”-style captivity and instrumental torture thrown it for good measure.

    From that perspective, matters are slight but marginally entertaining. Yet even the most strident “X-phile” will have difficulty mustering enthusiasm that this film merits big-screen treatment.

    To wit: It's now been 15 years. Both Mulder and Scully are in a (seemingly) committed, platonic relationship. Do they really still need to refer to each other by their last names as they did at the start of the series?

    Also, when the sunny Dr. Scully suggests to the hospital board that stem cells could possibly save a child's life, the resourceful doc sits down in front of a computer and pulls up Google and types is “stem cell research.” From what medical college did she graduate? That's really going to be her starting point for saving a child's life?

    I won't even get into the big discovery in which I half expected to see Rosey Grier's head to be lying around when it veers into “The Thing with Two Heads” territory.

    It was rumored the film was written under the gun to beat the writers' strike earlier this year, and that rush job is felt through every scene and nuance, from the threadbare storyline to the semi-engaged performances from the leads.

    I should confess to being only a casual follower of the show, viewing perhaps a handful of episodes during its televised run. I can appreciate it for its contribution to the TV landscape, from which shows such as “Heroes” and “Lost” are direct descendants, with the complex mythologies and theatrical-quality production values.

    But there is no sign of its interstellar-conspiracy-tinged scope to be found here. Series creator and writer/director Chris Carter boxes in his characters in a mystery that even Jessica Fletcher would be at home solving on an episode of “Murder, She Wrote.”

    For the remaining die-hard fans of the series, though (judging from the weak opening of the film, there are precious few left), I implore you not to sit through the closing credits, which features a scene that seems about as satisfying as the Seinfeld finale.

    For the rest, the truth remains out there, in some better movie.

     

     


  • Working on the 'Knight' moves

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    Under discussion:

    Batman  (1989)

    The Dark Knight  (2008)

    I am really struggling here.

    I really don't feel like cracking open the thesaurus to out-hyperbolize what's already been said about “The Dark Knight” a dozen times over.

    Simply put: A) It lives up to the hype, and B) Yes, Heath Ledger as The Joker is that good.

    The only way to tackle this review and add anything new to what's already been said is by addressing your concerns as a moviegoer.

    That's right, you.

    Why do I do this? Well, I'm just a giver, I suppose.

    So herein are ten reasons why you should either jump aboard the “Dark Knight” Love Train with the rest of us, or whether you should draw the blinds when you see that Bat Signal appear in the sky.

    See it:

    1. If you enjoy crime drama: The film begins with a crackerjack heist by Joker and his crew that not only ticks along like a timed explosive, it sets the stage for just how morally bankrupt the film's chief villain truly is. He is a character whose sole purpose is not singularly driven, but rather one who likes to conduct social experiments, regardless of their outcome. For Batman, who is considered a champion of justice, the Joker represents his ultimate foe.

    2. If you balk at seeing a “superhero” movie: Too often dismissed by stuffier film-goers as guys running around in silly spandex pajamas, “Knight” sets its story in a very real world environment that echoes many fears and concerns where chaos reigns. Sure, there are acts of superhuman strength, but there are equal parts of superhuman suffering, as leads are forced to make choices in which one life's value possibly outweighs another.

    3. If you eschew CGI for more tangible effects: Digital trickery has become a staple to the genre, especially those released in the heady days of summer blockbusters, but there are no wholly rendered CGI beasties on Batman's fight card here, and when it is used, like the charred, rotting side of the face on Batman's other nemesis Two-Face, it's both subtle and disturbing.

    4. If you are a fan of iconic screen villainy: Confession time: When it comes to listing the top actors of this generation, Heath Ledger would probably not even make my long list. His turn in “Brokeback Mountain” was undoubtedly poignant, but the whole film's over-rated melodrama possibly kept it from making any impact on me. I found him decent, but rather nondescript. Until now. His role as a psychotic harbinger of destruction is seminal, plain and simple. And for those of you who showered Javier Bardem and Daniel Day Lewis with praise last year in “No Country for Old Men” and “There Will Be Blood,” respecticely, you owe it to yourself to witness this performance.

    5. If you enjoy epic films: While staying primarily focused in Gotham City (after taking a brief detour to Hong Kong to round up some baddies), the story feels oceanic in its sprawl. “Dark Knight” analyzes a society ruled by fear and governed by disorder. It demonstrates not only how officials and denizens react in times of crisis, but takes the time to detail these reactions, as well as their repercussions, giving them motivation and purpose. It's a sizeable task in any film, but it builds to a crescendo that feels purposefully messy and frustrating. You know, kind of like life.

    6. If you'd rather get drawn into a story than manipulated by a rousing score: Too often, we find ourselves moved because some guys in the string section of an orchestra tell us to. Not here. Never obtrusive, always lurking in the shadows (like its lead), the score (by James Newton Howard and Hans Zimmer) is as subtle as Danny Elfman's (between the Prince ditties) was bombastic in the 1989 version. Instead. “Knight” is propelled by such intrinsic theoretical absolutes as “good” and “evil” (Sometimes by the same character, sometimes by our hero), providing each member of its stellar cast – Gary Oldman as Commissioner Gordon, Morgan Freeman as inventor Lucious Fox, Michael Caine as heroic manservant Alfred, Maggie Gyllenhaal as Rachel Dawes, Aaron Eckhart as politician Harvey Dent – an opportunity to decide where his or her moral line in the sand is drawn. Which leads us to...

    7. If you prefer your characters with moral ambiguity: There is not a second of flab in the film's 2.5-hours, and in that time each of its characters are tested. Similar to that memorable coin toss by Bardem's Anton Chigurh in “No Country” (and Harvey Dent here), the results are sometimes left to chance and the consequences are not pretty.

    8. If you enjoy horror films: The discomforting truisms of human nature are the root of all classic horror films -- our primal urges, our basic instincts, those gravitational draws to the dark side that have yet to evolve from that primordial muck – are the foundation of scary stories, and have a home in “Dark Knight.” These are not perhaps the “gotcha!” scares that one closely associates with modern horror, but they are the nightmares that can keep one up at night when alone.

    9. If you appreciate ensemble acting: I have already mentioned a number of the actors involved, but have yet to speak about Christian Bale, who plays Batman and his alter ego billionaire Bruce Wayne (sorry for the spoiler). It is perhaps because he is a cog in this machine. It is by no means a slight to his ability, for he once again demonstrates just why he is one of the finest actors working today. But he is only one “Knight” in this chess game.

    10. If you enjoy sequels with more narrative meat on their bones: As opposed to taking the “Bigger! Stronger! Faster!” approach to sequels, writer/director Christopher Nolan's “Dark Knight” is much more interested in inhabiting and studying the world in which our heroes dwell. It could have been easily called “Gotham” and have been completely accurate. The last bit of praise that I can pile onto this film is by giving it the cinematic equivalent to “The Empire Strikes Back,” (considered by many, myself included, to be the best of the “Star Wars” franchise), in which storylines weave without a knot at its end. It can be disconcerting, but in the end, it feels more organic than any other film released so far this year.

     

    And yes, it is based on a “comic book.”


  • Catching up: Hellboy II

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    Under discussion:

    Pan's Labyrinth  (2006)

    The Dark Knight  (2008)

    Hancock  (2008)

    Been on vacay for a little while, but had plenty of time to soak in cinema as well as sun. So here are some observations (probably with random question marks throughout cuz I used a Mac notetype it).

    It's hard to imagine there is any cinematic crime left to battle this summer, with the amount of superheroes combating evil-doers in theaters. And while all of them may be eclipsed by a certain dark knight this weekend, it's hard to imagine one that will feature a world as visually stunning as director Guillermo del Toro's brilliantly buoyant Hellboy II: The Golden Army.

    While the new Batman may soar in its complexities, both in drama and dialogue, del Toro is such a stylistic master that he at the same time pays homage to past cinematic worlds while creating wholly unique ones.
    The Golden Army could actually come across as the fun-loving, slightly intoxicated sibling of the director's masterpiece Pan's Labyrinth. And it's more than happy to share the buzz.

    Freaky, fun and phantasmagorical, 'The Golden Army' gets to the goods early after precious little backstory and stays in its own warped universe, juggling humor and heft with gusto.
    Creators of Hancock, take note. This is how you take a roguish, potty-mouthed ruffian, plug in some pathos and still have a heck of a lot of fun while you're at it.

    Led by Ron Pearlman, who in addition to playing Helboy in the original also played the Beast in the cult favorite TV show Beauty and the Beast, again displays the patience of a Buddhist monk in his ability to withstand hours in the makeup chair to get caked in latex.

    But he is well aware of his role's riches, attacking it with aplomb, and putting the 'demon' in demonstrative.

    Since the original film, Hellboy has been attempting domesticated bliss with his (quite literal) flame Liz Sherman (played Selma Blair, whose ability to set herself ablaze as a character is really the only fire she brings to her performance, but is fine nonetheless). Typical he-said-she-said squabbles ensue, but they still answer the call of duty as part of the government's Bureau for Paranormal Research and Development, in which they team up with fellow fish-man freak Abe Sapien (play by frequent del Torro collaborator Doug Jones).

    They are needed to battle a centuries-old underworld prince (played by Luke Goss) fed up with humans and prepared to unleash an indestructible robotic infantry to reclaim the Earth.

    There is many a moment of panoramic panache, worlds of wonder, and witty rejoinders that fulfill the recommended daily allowance of summer blockbuster nutrition, but for anyone who has repeatedly feasted upon del Toro's 'Pan's Labyrinth' (guilty as charged), there are elements of Hellboy II that rise far above the formula for the genre. From surprising life-or-death choices made by its leads to its thoughtful study of family,

    The Golden Army will stand up to repeated viewings where its intricacies can be more thoroughly examined and appreciated.
    It also sets the stage for a rather interesting conundrum for a sequel, if del Toro get the opportunity to have it realized on screen.

    Personally, I can't wait for another chance to go to Hell, boy.


  • 'Hancock'-blocked

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    Under discussion:

    Batman  (1966)

    Men in Black  (1997)

    Very Bad Things  (1998)

    Fantastic Four  (2005)

    The Kingdom  (2007)

    The Dark Knight  (2008)

    Hancock  (2008)

    It is all too fitting that the lead in “Hancock” is an amnesiac, for the film in which he is featured can't seem to comprehend just what the hell it is.

    About halfway through, it suffers a cinematic concussion from which it never regains its former personality.

    Both portions of this picture might have made an interesting feature given the chance to develop more thoroughly. As it stands, “Hancock” plays out like the most recent dark, brooding film incarnation of “Batman,” but starring Adam West in the form-fitting spandex suit from the TV version.

    In a world where every summer superhero film is accompanied by Wal-Mart-ready action figure tie-ins, it's rather difficult to envision the kiddies clamoring to buy the “Hancock with Scotch-Swigging Action” in which you can push the button and hear one of eight colorful expletives!

    Yes, Hancock is the most reluctant of heroes, approaching his duties like a list of household chores rather than an inherent responsibility.

    His attempts at rescue wind up wrecking more real estate than leaving well enough alone and now he faces the scorn of a public fed up with his slovenly approach to fighting crime.

    That is, until one day he rescues an altruistic PR man (yeah, that's about the funniest thing in the picture) played by Jason Bateman. Bateman's Ray Embry wants to repay the super-pariah by working with him on an image makeover, helping him transform from his hobo-chic aesthetic to Fantastic Four fabulousness.

    And this is the world in which “Hancock” should have remained. Pointed social commentary on celebrity life under today's TMZ- and You Tube-controlled microscopic conditions, rejecting and denouncing any and all sorts of behavior or past transgression, and promises to reform and adhere to more “model” behavior are all hinted in a too-brief montage sequence. Witnessing Hancock stage a half-hearted press conference, admitting himself to a local prison and undergoing anger management and substance abuse classes are awkwardly amusing commentaries of today's lifestyles of the rich and infamous (not to mention the issue race plays in the whole affair). The only thing missing is his finding Jesus in the process.

    It's not until Ray brings Hancock home to meet the family-- wife Mary (played by Charlize Theron) and son Aaron (played by Jae Head) – in which the tonal shifts of the film are stitched together like some thematic Frankenstein's monster.

    It is during this portion in which we get a glimpse into Hancock's dark, mysterious origins which are a marked contrast to the promise of joviality and satire of the first half.

    Smith seems to run out of steam for this part, too. Gamely playing against his squeaky-clean image, he relishes in ticking off the general public with foul language and laws of physics-defying bodily harm. Yet when things get dark, he barely registers, coasting on tired mannerisms and feigned interest.

    Theron, who plays Bateman's adoring wife is also left with little. It's easy to see from her first encounter with Hancock that there was some sort of past connection between the two, but when it's revealed just what that is, the actress is swept up in the noisy chaos that marks the film's conclusion.

    The only actor who leave an impression is Theron's one-time co-star Bateman (the two shared a storyline in the beloved, departed television show “Arrested Development”), whose deft comic abilities elicited some of the only laughs to be heard during my opening-day screening.

    But even he is hindered by the questionable judgement of director Peter Berg (“The Kingdom,” “Friday Night Lights,” “Very Bad Things”). Berg obviously has potential, but has squandered it time and time again, as he does here with “Hancock.”

    It's an unwritten blockbuster law that superhero films, even if they dabble in the emotional complexities of its leads, must widen their lens and give the film and expansive, almost global, perspective that shows a city in crises or a world in peril. Not so with Berg. He instead chooses to zoom in on his subjects close enough that you can almost smell the stale scotch on Hancock's breath.

    When it finally comes to the epic confrontation at the finale, it's edited with such a slapdash manner that there is no sense of jeopardy, or wonderment, or even much of a pulse.

    Contributing to this menace-free environment is the film's villain, whose comic book bad guy name would be “Dr. Minor Inconvenience” or perhaps “The Irritable Rash,” as little a threat as he poses.

    And finally, lest you think that you are safely in the hands of audience-friendly Will Smith, not that the director was the same guy who based an entire film of a group of bachelor party participants trying to dispose of a dead hooker. In other words, bring the earmuffs and have hands ready to shield the eyes of the little ones brought into the theater to watch Mr. Man In Black battle baddies.

    “Hancock” is a film that would have benefited from being either an all-out satire of the genre, or an intimate introspective drama of the isolation accompanying the job title of World Saver.

    By combining the two, “Hancock” suffers from its own cinematic kryptonite, crippling it just when it should have soared into the stratosphere.


 

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