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  • 'Baby Mama' almost delivers

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     With the glut of features that focus on the fears and foibles of delivery, “Baby Mama” is a few notches above the laborious “Nine Months” and precocious “Juno,” but doesn't breach the mother of modern maternity ward laugh-fests known as “Knocked Up.”

    “Mama” does deserve credit for dealing with its subject matter from a relatively little-seen on-screen perspective, dealing with infertility and the woes of the working women who choose career over childbirth (though 1987's featherweight “Baby Boom” was an obvious influence here).

    Reigning geek poster-girl Tina Fey (though they are roughly the same age, it still would be fitting to call her this generation's Janeane Garofolo) stars as Kate Holbrook, who is cursed with the double whammy of hitting the snooze button on her biological clock and the fact that her uterus is a tad hostile toward all incoming eggs.

    During a brief look at her social life, we can see nothing but skid marks left by men with whom she shares her maternal urges, and we witness her rejection at adoption agencies who apparently view single women as a half-step above orphanages.

    Enter a surrogate center that, for a price well without of range of typical childless couples, unites Kate with Angie Ostrowiski (played by Amy Poehler), who promises to rent her reproductive system.

    Upon their first encounter, Angie seems to hardly be a pillar of responsibility. Pulling up in a barely breathing jalopy with her ne'er-do-well “common law” husband, Angie is the Oscar Madison to Kate's prissy Felix Unger.

    A series of events leads Angie to shack up with Kate, leading to the predictable culture clashes that ensue. All of them light and harmless, enough to satisfy the masses with a steady grin, but few belly laughs that one might expect from two of the country's top comedic performers who have spent much time together on the small screen (both are graduates of “Saturday Night Live”).

    It's not until Angie begins to get cold feet that things get interesting, if not necessarily amusing. It's an undermined cinematic twist that should deserve a film of its own.

    And as prickly as things become, there's nary a moment's doubt the film's destined for a happy ending. Fortunately, Fey and Poehler have a comedic comfort level that invites the audience to continue to tune in. Even when newcomer writer/director Michael McCullers saddles Kate with a rather bland romance with a local merchant (played by Greg Kinnear), we are comforted in knowing she will return home to the latest child-centric calamity with Angie.

    “Mama” takes baby steps toward its humor, never breaking into the full sprint one would expect if Fey herself had been responsible for the film's writing. Her keen eye may have dropped the teething ring bit into more solid (if potentially awkward) sources of laughter.

    She also would have penned much meatier material for such cameo performers as Steve Martin, Maura Tierney and Sigourney Weaver. Amusing as they may be, one can only imagine the levels of awkward confrontations that might have occurred from the woman who brought us “30 Rock. “

    There are certainly enough working women today facing similar woes of childless regrets, and while the subject itself may not make for uproarious comedy, it could be polished up enough to make more than a few darkly comedic jabs at. “Mama” opts for playing things with crib-like comfort, choosing to be a social commentary of class mores.

    There are certainly moments of laugh-out-loud hilarity to be found in “Mama” (most notably, Poehler's tirade upon entering the hospital, ready to deliver). But too often, McCullers plays the part of the overprotective parent, never wanting its actors to wander into territory where they can really make a mess.

    But, as any parent knows, when that happens with children, some of the best stories are created.


  • Over Time

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    Under discussion:

    Copycat  (1995)

    Heat  (1995)

    15 Minutes  (2001)

    Showtime  (2002)

    Hide and Seek  (2005)

    88 Minutes  (2008)

    24 [DVD Game]  Production Year

    How to put this mildly? When Al Pacino gets a call from an anonymous antagonist in the new thriller “88 Minutes” and tells him he has 88 minutes to live, my first thought after looking at Pacino was “Is it his physician? His cardiologist?”

    Haggard and crinkly as a wadded-up Kleenex, Pacino looks far out of a role that requires him to be a hard-partying, libidinous professor whose musk seems to attract all female students a quarter his age.

    The film’s opening scene, in which he’s getting jiggy with a roomful of models/students (seriously, are there no ugly kids taking forensics classes in this town?), is far more frightening than anything that follows in this sub-standard serial killer thriller directed by Jon Avnet.

    Pacino plays Dr. Jack Gramm, a forensic psychiatrist whose professional prowess lands him a sweet gig with the local FBI, a spot on staff at a Seattle university, and an endless receiving line of beautiful young students ready to personally collect samples of his DNA.

    As the character is drawn, Gramm is a Freudian dream come true – narcissistic, skirt-chasing and driver of a luxury little sports car (is that the new Porsche Phallus?). Gee, Gramm. Compensate much?

    Gramm’s under scrutiny as his perhaps questionable testimony has slapped a man with the “Seattle Slayer” moniker, resulting in a death sentence for a number of murders in the rainy city.

    “88 Minutes” is the type of picture that, when Gramm’s taunted with his cellphone by an unknown assailant, the camera slowly lingers on every face on campus as each one shoots ominously accusatory glances. It’s the type of film where said tormentor possesses omnipotent powers as he/she anticipates Gramm’s every move and plants threatening messages informing him exactly how many minutes he has left to live. It’s the type of film that introduces us to shadowy characters with names like Guy LaForge (I am guessing there was licensing problems with Sammy St. Snufalufogus).

    And, like it’s clock-ticking televised cousin “24,” “88 Minutes” is the type of picture in which all of the events seem to happen within mere feet of where Gramm is standing, as he’s able to skip across the state with little regard to laws of speed and sound.

    Suspects include his pretty student teacher (played by Alicia Witt, who, it should be noted, is  studying forensics, yet screams hysterically when seeing a dead body), his pretty co-worker (played by Amy Brennaman), his pretty dean (played by Debra Kara Unger) and his pretty students (played by Leelee Sobieski and Ben McKenzie).

    Any above picture’s faults do not end there. It goes to such great lengths to make every single minor character a candidate, it becomes utterly pointless to try to play along (that said, the perpetrator can be deduced by audience members with 73 minutes to spare). For example, when a school building is evacuated after a bomb threat, a fire engine barrels onto the scene, causing random citizens to dive out of its way, including Gramm. Yup, got to love those emergency workers who’d mow down a street-full of citizens in order to save others.

    Pacino does what is required of him, which is weak by the actor’s standards, but still light years ahead of the rest of the cast. The term “cash-grab” immediately comes to mind and the film feels similar to the type of production fellow acting legend Robert DeNiro has been slumming in of recent years (“15 Minutes, Showtime, Hide and Seek).

    Pacino will soon share the screen again with DeNiro in yet another film about cops and serial killers and it, too, is directed by Avnet. While it will be a treat to have them both share screen time, one can only hope that it’s not as literally by-the-numbers as “88 Minutes.”


  • Takin' it to the 'Street'

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    Under discussion:

    The Matrix  (1999)

    Training Day  (2001)

    Dark Blue  (2003)

    Ultraviolet  (2006)

    Harsh Times  (2006)

    Street Kings  (2008)

    The Black Dahlia  (2006)

    House  (2007)

    Sure, it’s good to be the king, be it Henry VII, Billie Jean or Stephen. But there are so-called “kings” of questionable virtue.

    1)       The King of Pop: A dandy whose contributions to the music arts have been eclipsed by his personal predilection for young squires in his kingdom.

    2)       Burger King: Rules by treating his subjects to high-fat, empty-calorie meals; contributes to obesity epidemic; stars in rather creepy commercials where he’s often depicted as a voyeur.

    3)       Chess King: Flagrant violator of many laws of fashion; turns a blind eye while keeping his minions ensconced in garish, pseudo-suave outfits.

    We can now add the “Street Kings” to the list of those with dubious contributions during their sovereignty. While it possesses a few complimentary attributes, its overall merits are overshadowed by a number of tired cinematic truisms.

    Keanu Reeves heads a cast of misused and miscast talent in the latest police drama from a man (director David Ayer) who certainly has some issues with the boys in blue in the Los Angeles area.

    Ayers, serving as director here, has penned some rather poisonous peeks into the force, including Denzel Washington’s Oscar-winning turn as a morally bankrupt cop in “Training Day,” Kurt Russell’s corrupt cop in “Dark Blue,” and served as director in a tale of a young psychopath’s (played by Christian Bale) attempt to gain a spot on the force in “Harsh Times.”

    In “Kings” he follows a number of officers on a morally squalid squad who overzealously get their men, while allowing their commander (played by Forest Whittaker) to clean up any mess – such as evidence – they left behind.

    And while the film boasts some electric dialogue by hard-boiled novelist James Ellroy, it’s hobbled by across-the-board performances and a plot that is as subtle as the Rodney King video.

    Reeves stars as Tom Ludlow, an alcoholic, haunted force veteran who, after years if suppressing both emotion and evidence, is starting to grow a conscience. Already the role requires far too much nuance of which the limited actor is capable.

    Reeves can skate by in roles that require him to appear dazed and confused (the “Bill & Ted” pictures, “The Matrix”), but when he’s asked to add subtleties of any sort, he’s walking well out of his range.

    Whitaker apparently feels as though he must take up the slack, not only for Reeves, but for everyone else in the film who doesn’t get a fair chance, cinematically. Contorting his face and body to deliver even the most simple stretch to the point of unintentional comedy.

    Meanwhile, the other names involved are handed throwaway parts that undercut any talent they may have. Hugh Laurie, for example, co-stars as an internal affairs officer who’s trailing Ludlow and looking to eradicate a corrupt cadre of policemen. His entrance into the film is straight out of a sitcom, though. Laurie, the current star of “House” first appears on the screen after peering from behind a curtain in – wait for it – a hospital. You half expect the soundtrack to kick in a laugh track at that point.

    As mentioned earlier, there are some electric lines, probably written from Ellroy. But the best-selling author of “L. A. Confidential” and “Black Dahlia” also shares the screenplay billing with Kurt Wimmer (the director of the infamous “Ultraviolet”) and newcomer Jamie Moss. The result is a string of clichéd set-ups and takedowns that have been featured in far too many cop dramas of both big a little screens.

    It brings little new to the precinct and while some snappy dialogue and scenes of intricate tension earn “Street” cred, all the “Kings” men could not put this film together again.


  • George, George, George of the Fumble

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    Under discussion:

    Leatherheads  (2008)

    Semi-Pro  (2008)

    Leatherheads” has had a long a storied journey to the big screen, and has mutated into several incarnations in the process.

    It was once envisioned to be a historically accurate account of football’s earliest innovators, a blood-and-mud saga of gridiron gladiators, and a comedic take on colorful pigskin pioneers.It arrives in theaters as a screwball comedy throwback – cobbled together  with romantic subplots, early growing pains of the game, and fictional glimpses into the lives of the sport’s bruising brotherhood.

    The result is a curious mix that is overstuffed with half-planned protractions of what might have been if director/star George Clooney had remained focused not on merely gaining yardage with small hand-offs of laughter, but on just where the goal line of his film was.

    Not screwy enough for screwball, not hard-hitting enough for a sports picture, and far-too-slight as a commentary on the souring of the game with all its “rules” and “regulations,” “Leatherheads merely scrambles in scene after scene, wearily winding down the clock.

    Clooney plays Dodge Connelly, the aging coach and player of the amateur Duluth Bulldogs, one of the last holdouts in a rapidly diminishing field of football teams in 1925.In order to boost sales and escape working in “the real world,”

    Connelly concocts a plan to enlist a star athlete who has returned from World War I a hero and whose ubiquitous visage is pimped out on more products than Michael Jordan is his prime.

    But there is a cloud that follows this young hero, Carter “The Bullet” Rutherford (played by “The Office’s” John Krasinski), as his military heroics might not be all that it appears.

    Enter Lexie Littleton (played by perma-puckering Renee Zellweger), a hard-edged moll who’s the ace reporter for the local paper intent on cracking the shell of this “Bullet.” Her presence sets up a rather static love triangle between her, the young rising star and the aging Donnelly.

    While there are moments of back-and-forth banter, a la “Philadelphia Story,” little of it lands with the impact Grant and Hepburn so successfully accomplished decades ago.

    The chemistry between its romantic leads is so week and predictable, it would be eclipsed by a grade school science fair.

    After veering from ensemble action comedy to bickering romance, the film takes yet another curious detour in its final act to comment on American values, the country’s need for heroes and how the formality of regulated sports drains the fun out of the game.

    Clooney has proven himself sure-footed when he’s behind the camera in his two previous outings, “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind” and “Good Night, and Good Luck.”  But here, he feels completely off balance. It has moments of artistic flourish, but it gets dogpiled under the heft of so many extra slender subplots.

    In front of the lens, he’s as easygoing as ever, slightly summoning a variation on his deft comedic work in “O Brother, Where Art Thou,” and he takes more than a few good-natured jabs at his age, but he can do little to extract much from co-stars Zellweger and Krazinski, who seem unable to establish their footing from one scene to the next.

    “Leatherheads,” though infinitely more competent a film, shares much with Will Ferrell’s latest amateur-to-pro sports comedy, “Semi-Pro,” in which it suffers from jarring tonal shifts that ultimately hobble it at its knees.

    It’s light enough to keep audiences occupied with slight smirks, but like the players on the soggy field in the film’s final game, “Leatherheads” becomes too muddied with plot that we are really unable to distinguish just who these people are.


  • Dry-docked

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    Under discussion:

    Lake Dead  (2007)

    Hmmm. Horny teens inherit haunted property, spend time in a haunted campsite and are chased and tortured by inbred hilbillies...where have I see this before...? That's right, every freakin' slasher film ever made. Worth it only if you are into granny love and want to see a guy in his 40s French kiss an octagenerian.

 

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