(With apologies to the Geisel Estate)
A long time ago, in a faraway land,
Some greedy Sneeches were hatching a plan.
“Let’s take a kids’ classic and put it on screen!”
“We’ll make more money than this town’s ever seen!”
They crept back to their lair, their idea was a cinch.
“We’ll make a fortune by adapting ‘The Grinch.’”
They laughed and they howled, they were evil but merry.
“All we need to do is sign up Jim Carrey!”
“It will fall into place, he’s oh-so slap-happy!”
But when they were through, the film was quite crappy.
Again they retreated, with their wallets all fat.
“Let’s do it again, with ‘The Cat in the Hat.’”
Mike Meyers will do as the lead feline.
But out of the theaters crowds made a bee-line.
Folks were onto their ruse, they felt tricked with no treat.
“If you adapt Seuss again, it better be sweet!”
So then power shifted onto a new crew.
Animators would take on “Horton Hears a Who.”
The delightful tale from the good writer,
Seemed to be burning just a little bit brighter.
Gone were plans of costumes and prosthetics,
Which made previous efforts seem sad and pathetic.
A CGI wonderland is what “Horton” needed.
“And please don’t tinker,” the audience pleaded.
Carrey signed on again to take center stage,
Which initially caused ire, doubt and outrage.
But with the advantage of not seeing him mugging,
The film picked up steam and soon it was chugging.
Steve Carell joined the cast of talented voices.
And the directors began to make other fine choices.
Amy Poehler, Seth Rogan, Jonah Hill, Will Arnett,
They scored even more points with Carol Burnett.
Each seemed to care for the roles, one and all.
Just like Horton said, “No matter how small.”
No longer confined to the real-world trappings,
The film’s images all started popping and snapping.
The original text, writers respected,
Ideas for backstories of its leads were rejected.
The jokes seemed funnier, the story seemed tighter.
The overall tone seemed a teeny bit tighter.
The film was not without fault, with 90 minutes to fill.
Writers stuck in some scenes that were hollow and shrill.
An anime sequence? They must be joking!
R.E.O. Speedwagon songs? Just what were they smoking?!
But despite these brief trips into pop-reference places,
The audience left with big smiles on their faces.
While the book remains the best source for this text.
“Horton” fits comfortably at any old multiplex.
It’s light and it’s bouncy, unlike its pachyderm star.
It’ll delight most the Whos, who-ever they are.
It might have been tightened by a clip and a snip.
(Do we seriously need a Kissinger-voiced quip?)
The film keeps the heart of the original tome.
Parents won’t feel guilt to take the DVD home.
As Horton “meant what he said, and said what he meant,”
The film is quite faithful… at least 90 percent.
So unless you’re a Grinch with a stick up your caboose,
There’s no reason to not love this version of Seuss.