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unclefestering Blog

  • It's gonna be exactly like Eurotrip only it's not going to suck... Well...

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    I saw Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo after both the hype and all the grumbling from the disapponted fans wore out. It isn't a bad movie. And the problem is that that is the best that can be said for it.

    The skinny on the plot: The two stoners from Jersey fly to Amsterdam and Kumar is carrying a smokeless bong so he can light up on the flight over. But an old lady thinks they are terrorists because they aren't white. Isn't that hilarious? No? I didn't think so either.

    A government doofus sends them to Guantanamo where they escape in under five minutes and then head to Texas where they hope another friend in the government can clear the whole thing up.

    So the best moments are when Neil Patrick Harris returns to play Neil Patrick Harris, a straight, shroom-popping, kinky, whore-seeking Neil Patrick Harris. The problem is that this was a fantastic cameo character in the first movie, because Neil Patrick Harris didn't have a career then. Now after the first movie, he's Barney in How I met your Mother and in a series of commercials making fun of his Doogie Howser persona.

    The other great scenes are when the guys accidently break into President Bush's Crawford compound, where he is hiding from Cheney and getting high.

    Other than those scenes the jokes fell pretty flat. See the original. It is much funnier.


  • Ripped up, wiped out, battered, shattered, creamed, and reamed

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    Death Race 2000  (1976)

    Death Race  (2008)

     

    No one is going to confuse Death Race for an Oscar contender. It is a loud, fun, explosive action movie. While it has been changed considerably from the original Death Race 2000, it has kept much of the same feel, while losing the moralizing of the original (not that there was much of that). This is a great movie to end the summer action season. It doesn’t take itself too seriously and delivers what it promises.

    The year is 2025. The American economy is in the toilet. The crime rate has exploded. The overcrowded prisons have been privatized and one warden has found a solution to both the prisoner population and how to turn a profit: Death Race. Three days of heavily armed and armored cars driving around a secure track doing anything to win. Any racer who wins five times gets their freedom. Any racer who survives is skillful and lucky. The entire race can be watched from hundreds of cameras broadcasting on a pay per view basis.

    Jensen Ames (Jason Statham) has recently been convicted of murdering his wife, a crime he did not commit. Ames was a race car driver before running into trouble with the NASCAR circuit. The warden (Joan Allen) informs him that she want Ames to take the place of the race’s biggest star, Frankenstein (so scarred from past races that he always wears a metal mask) who died in the last Death Race. Frankenstein’s death has been hidden from the public to prevent a decrease in subscriptions. Since this would be Frankenstein’s fifth win, Ames can go free, if he wins.

    Statham is convinced to race after a further round of blackmail and gets to meet his crew and opponents. Frankenstein’s biggest competitor in the race is Machine Gun Joe (Tyrese Gibson), who doesn’t know he killed the real Frankenstein and still harbors a vicious grudge. After this quick setup we move into day one of the race. From the green light, it is a mix of fast cars, crashes, explosions, weapons fire.

    Statham and Allen both make this movie. Both are ruthless and willing to double cross each other to get what they need: ratings for one and freedom for the other.


  • Funny almost inspite of itself

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    Tropic Thunder  (2008)

    Tropic Thunder is the most consistantly funny movie of the summer. The best laughs came not from Jack Black or Ben Stiller. Robert Downey Jr. who plays a white Austrailian, playing an African American, who at one point plays an Asian rice farmer is clearly the best thing the movie has going for it. The unexpectedly second place prize goes to Nick Nolte as the crazy, double-amputee, Vietnam Vet.

    You could argue that the "studio boss" ties with Nolte.

    What I love about Downey's character is that he clearly knows that there is no movie being made and they are in the middle of a disaster, but he is playing such a method actor, that he can't drop the character of the black sergeant even though he knows there isn't any point to continuing.

    My favorite scene is the one some people have decided to take offense to, the "retard" discussion. Neither character is making fun of the mentally handicapped, they are making fun of the studio system that boxes those characters into stereotypes.

    Don't wait for the DVD.


  • So, what you gonna do? Kill yourself?

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    Wristcutters is equal parts roadtrip, and bitter comedy. It is a tough pair to pull off, especially when all the characters in the movie have committed suicide. This movie isn’t for everybody, but if you have the patience for it, it does pay off.

    Zia (Patrick Fugit) puts his world in order and then takes a razor to his wrist. He wakes up in a world depressingly like the one he just abandoned, only more washed out and one where everything is somehow broken. This world is inhabited by all the suicides. They all bear the physicals scars of their death into their new life, where even emotions are drained.

    After a while, Zia discovers that his girlfriend has also killed herself. He decides to find her, so he and his friend, Eugene, a Russian rocker who electrocuted himself on stage set out across the desolate landscape to find her. Along the way they pick up a hitchhiker (Shannon Sossamon) who claims that she is there by mistake, because she never killed herself.

    The humor in this movie is not the knee slapping laugh out loud kind of jokes. Rather it is just the wry observations of people stuck in situation which may never get better for them. Raspy voice Tom Waits also stars in this movie as the leader of a camp where some of the suicides hang out.


  • Sending a bullet with flowers

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    Manda Bala  (2007)

    Directed by Jason Kohn.

    Manda Bala is an incredible indictment; almost a cheerfully sad story of degradation on all levels of Brazilian society. In the documentary’s opening, we hear a prosecutor explaining how corruption is the source from which all other crimes flow. Over the next 85 minutes we see how the crimes of the rich are connected to the crimes of the poor.

    Don’t be worried that you’ll find this a dull and boring documentary. Director Jason Kohn sarcastically mixes his tales with such lush, dazzling cinematography and happy, peppy Brazilian pop songs that you almost don’t mind hearing about the kidnappings and mutilations.

    Kohl begins with the frog farmer who started with a $300,000 grant from the government. What’s wrong with that? Well, the government paid $9 million on this project alone. The other $8.7 million went into the pockets of corrupt politician Jadar Barbalho, only a small part of the estimated $2 billion he siphoned off the government.

    What do the poor do without the money that is supposed to build their economy? They move to the slums of Sao Paolo and kidnap wealthy and middle class Brazilians. To prove that the victims are in danger, it has become a common practice to cut off an ear and send it to the family with the ransom demand.

    The problem has become so widespread that dealing with kidnapping has become its own sector of the economy. Kohl looks at the companies that teach defensive driving and those that bulletproof cars to companies that are developing computer chips to implant into people so they can be tracked after they have been kidnapped. Kohl spends a lot of time with a plastic surgeon who specializes -- and glories --  in reconstructing severed ears.

    The quality of the interview he gets are amazing from the frog farmer who is happy to get his piece of the pie, and the anti-kidnapping police who are overwhelmed by the extent of the crime, and the prosecutor who looked like he was going to be able to send Barbalho to jail. All are happy to tell how they are working to improve their country whether by economic or legal means.

    The best, incredible interviews are: with one of the kidnapping victims who had both of her ears sliced off; the jittery businessman who lives in constant fear that he will be kidnapped soon; and with a man who makes his living as a kidnapper because it is easier and more profitable than robbing banks. All of these people would be worthy of a full documentary of their own. It is to Kohl’s credit that he is able to get such engaging interviews that he always has you wanting to hear more of their stories.

    I have a couple of minor criticisms of the movie. Kohl leaves it to the viewer to make several important connections between the stories and the gaps are sometimes confusing. Also it is dishonest to try to make one man entirely responsible for all the social and economic problems of one country. Also some of the symbolism of the frogs becoming cannibals when they are underfed is a little too on the nose for my taste.

    Overall, Manda Bala is an incredibly well done documentary; one that should have gotten much more attention at the time of its release. This movie is always engaging.


  • Caviar is a luxury we have. Time is not.

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    Enemy at the Gates is an attempt to put a human face on the seemingly endless siege of Stalingrad, one of the longest battles of World War II. It is an admirable effort to continually narrow down the scope of the movie until it seems to involve just four people in a city of thousands. If only the story had been able to sustain the feeling of desperation and anxiety instead of settling for a routine love triangle story.

     

    The movie starts out with a heightened intensity as German bombers sink tiny boats ferrying soldiers to the city that so many know they will never leave alive. The soldiers who survive the crossing are immediately shoved to the front lines of the battle. Only half are given rifles. The idea is that when they guy next to you gets shot you either grab his rifle or ammunition and keep in shooting at the Germans.

    One of these soldiers is Vassili Zaitsev (Jude Law) a barely literate peasant who learned to shoot from his grandfather. Zaitsev gets pinned down hiding in a fountain under other dead bodies. Danilov (Joseph Fiennes), a political commissar, also ends up in the fountain and watches Zeitsev stealthily shoot their way out.

     

    Danilov uses this incident to turn Zeitsev into a folk hero, building and promoting his own career on each of his friend’s kills. Both fall in love with Tania (Rachael Weisz) a former college student and Jewish soldier who at first is enraptured by Zeitsev’s reputation which grows into love. Danilov also falls in love with her.

     

    And that’s where the movie falls apart.

     

    The rest of the movie is supposed to hang in the sniper duel between Zeitsev and the top German sniper. Nothing in the sniper duel can match the beginning of the movie and that duels seems to be much less important than resolving the love triangle. The problem is that by this point, it becomes hard to care about either.

     

    The role that saves the movie for large parts is Bob Hoskins’ fantastic turn as Khrushchev. He plays the role incredibly well. He is in turns belligerent, paranoid and angry; ready to kill his entire staff and every soldier in Russia if it will keep him safe from Stalin and maybe Hitler.

     

    A much more interesting movie could be made looking into the problem of trying to decide which evil empire someone should root for. Enemy at the Gates just dodges this question, almost acting as if it isn’t important that the Russians were at least as cruel and ruthless as the Nazis.


 

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