The Paxton Log

JP Paxton and the Review That Wasn't Suppose to be Written

The1TheOnlyJP — Sat, 24 May 2008 00:59:41 GMT

The wind blows northeast failing miserably in its attempt to offer even the slightest relief from the scorching sun above. The sweat drips profusely from my hurting head here as I remain in the confines of almost deafening silence for what has now been 159 days. Too long some have said; too long. As much as I would like to voice my hatred of this I'm afraid I ashamedly cannot. It was my decision after all, but perhaps the wrong one. It is now though I make another. It is now as I hold in my hand a particular perforated souvenir I know it is time. Ah yes, time indeed. Ladies and gentleman, I present to you this ever so special piece: JP Paxton and the Review That Wasn't Suppose to be Written.

It was the summer of 1981 and one of the most recognizable characters in film had been introduced to the world sporting a fedora, leather jacket, pistol, & of course a ten foot bullwhip. His name: Henry Walton Jones, Jr. better known as Indiana Jones. Played then by a thirty-eight year old Harrison Ford, the brave adventurer would forever be remembered as being apart of what many claim to be the greatest adventure film of all time, 'Raiders of the Lost Ark.' Who would've known then we'd still be seeing him up on the big screen here twenty-seven years later? (Please put your hands down.) In 'Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull' Harrison Ford returns for yet another installment of the now classic series proving (not that he had to) he's still got it. Though it may have taken quite a while for him, Steven Speilberg, & George Lucas to arrive at an agreement after seemingly ending the series in '89, it doesn't appear to make any difference to those thousands who flocked to midnight showings just a couple of days ago.

Taking place in 1957 'Crystal Skull' picks up nineteen years after Jones' last escapade 'The Last Crusade.' Once captured by a group of Reds lead by Irina Spalko played by the super talented Cate Blanchett Indy and his friend Mac are forced to aid in their mission to find a lost crystal skull. Along for the ride is star of the moment, Shia LeBeouf as greaser Mutt, Jon Broadbent as a former colleague of Jones' Harold Oxley, & returning to reprise her role as Indy's old flame from 'Raiders' Karen Allen playing the not-so-fiesty-anymore Marion Ravenwood.

Going into this I was absolutely ecstatic. I love the first two and 'Crusade' was okay (please don't kill me) so I was really looking forward to what Speilberg and Lucas had in store hoping to impress us all yet again. Sadly I have to tell you, I was disappointed. It's not horrible by any means though. The initial problem lies within the writing and everything else just goes from there beginning with three character mishaps all the while Harrison as Indy remaining great. Here we had Cate Blanchett, one of my favorite actresses for once as a villain. It wasn't her cheesy accent that got me, it was the fact I couldn't get away from the fact that it was fucking Cate Blanchett. In my eyes, just too big for the role. Also, she wasn't all that dangerous. I mean yeah, she could swordfight and was able to throw a few punches here and there, but I didn't find her to be that evil. Next there's Karen Allen back as Marion Ravenwood. Any good writer would've used her and Indy's reunion as more of a way to make the story more dramatic, while in true Jones style equally humorous. Instead all we end up getting is Karen smiling as wide as she can no matter what as if she's just thrilled to have even been invited back. Then finally there's LeBeouf a.k.a. Mr. Hey I Can Have Three Hit Movies In One Summer But Not Really Have Any Talent. Did anyone actually take him seriously in this? I'm sorry, but I just don't see him as the knife-wielding badass type. To me he came off like a pretty boy with a cool cycle.

The other issue I had regarding this shameful screenplay was the overall inclusion of over-the-top action scene after over-the-top action scene set to an overall flat storyline. This is pretty much how the film flows: death defying stunt, another defying stunt, one more death defying stunt, little bit of story, repeat. With that said, it can't go without saying that there were in fact some really fun and enjoyable moments throughout. The cycle chase, fight atop the cars, as well as the ants attack were all spectacular. I just would've preferred a more well paced approach as was seen in 'Raiders.'

The thing about 'Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull' though is that there are so many fans out there that will just be pleased another Jones movie has been made that nothing will be able to tarnish their opinion of it. I completely understand that. However, although it's not what they want to hear, the sad truth is, 'Crystal Skull' skull is just okay. Not awful, not fantastic, just okay. If you're looking to pass a couple of hours with some mindless fun, this is the way to do it.

Entertainment Weekly Is Funny

The1TheOnlyJP — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 23:38:48 GMT

Ladies and gentlemen, we're but a mere seven days from the official start of the 2008 summer movie season. Hollywood is hoping the current box office slump will take a turn for the better and begin to rise with releases such as 'Speed Racer', the next trip to Narnia 'Prince Caspian' and Indiana Jones' highly anticipated adventure 'Kingdom of the Crystal Skull' all in the coming weeks. This past week Entertainment Weekly put out their summer preview issue which includes projections for what they believe will be the top ten grossing films of the summer. That list is as follows:

$355.9 mil   01 - 'Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull'
$310.8 mil   02 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian'
$280.4 mil   03 - 'Hancock'
$280.3 mil   04 - 'Wall-E'
$267.7 mil   05 - 'Iron Man'
$255 mil       06 - 'The Dark Knight'
$244.6 mil   07 - 'Kung Fu Panda'
$176.5 mil   08 - 'The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor'
$147.2 mil   09 - 'The Incredible Hulk'
$146.6 mil   10 - 'Tropic Thunder'

Expectations are high all across the board. The cumulative total of those estimates comes to $2.465 billion, just $20 million behind the overall top ten of last year. I'm sorry to burst anyone's bubble, but there is no way in hell the box office is going to bring in those kind of numbers this year. 2007 was the biggest year in history and to say it'll be close here in 2008 is ignorant.

Even being the goldenboy at the moment won't generate $280 million for Will Smith in 'Hancock.' While promotion online may be plentiful this is one film people aren't talking about. As far as super heroes go this summer, it's all about Iron Man and Batman; not some medicore made-up comedian that can fly. A projected total of $176 million for 'Tomb of the Dragon Emperor?' Smack dab in the middle of the release weeks for 'X-Files: I Want to Believe' and 'Journey to the Center of the Earth 3D' (which also stars Fraser...) will no doubt put a crimp in it's style and overall revenue. Also, most of the general public at the moment haven't a clue that this is even coming out in August. (Yeah, that means start sending out the posters to the theaters now Universal.) The fact is its been seven years too long since anyone cared about encino man fighting off a CGI monster. Probably the most shocking of the predictions though is the amusingly ambitious $310 million for 'Narnia.' This time the buzz isn't as loud and the idea this installment promises to be darker will in my opinion deter many parents from flocking to see it. 'Wall-E' will in fact be Disney's bread and butter this year.

The following list is my take on what I assume the actual top ten films and their total grosses will be.

$350 mil   01 - 'Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull'
$280 mil   02 - 'The Dark Knight'
$250 mil   03 - 'Wall-E'
$235 mil   04 - 'Iron Man'
$225 mil   05 - 'The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian'
$208 mil   06 - 'Kung Fu Panda'
$183 mil   07 - 'Hancock'
$145 mil   08 - 'Tropic Thunder'
$142 mil   09 - 'The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor'
$130 mil   10 - 'Get Smart'

The combined total of my list ends up as $2.127, which is far more plausible then Entertainment Weekly's hilarious estimates. Now there are also a few films that could possibly prove to be surprisers when it's all said and done. (I didn't include them in the above list because I find them each to be too big of a wildcard.) Depending on just how many hardcore fans of the once popular show of the same name get out and see it, 'Sex and the City' could bring in anywhere from $95-$130 million. The option to do two sequels wasn't included in the leading ladies' contracts for nothing. Then of course there's the re-start to the Hulk series which is getting more and more attention as the weeks pass. A sum of $130-$149 doesn't seem to impossible to me if all goes well for it. Most importantly though is the quite colorful adaptation from the Wachowski brothers: 'Speed Racer.' A hefty promotion deal with Mattel, McDonald's, Target, General Mills, Esurance, Lego and others could drive the film to finish as high as $185 million (no, I'm not kidding) depending how well audiences respond. The only sure things about this summer are 'Indiana Jones' will not live up to it's hype, 'Dark Knight' will positively rock and 'Wall-E' will be Pixar's finest animated feature to date.

Oscar Picks (WOOOOOO!!!)

The1TheOnlyJP — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 00:33:42 GMT

No lengthy explanations as to why, just short and sweet; here are my picks for tonight's 80th Annual Academy Awards.

- Best Visual Effects: Diana Miao for 'Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End'

- Best Sound Mixing: Alan Meyerson for 'Transformers'

- Best Sound Editing: Skip Lievsay and Joel Dougherty for 'No Country for Old Men'

- Best Original Song: 'Falling Slowly' from 'Once' written and performed by Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova

- Best Original Score: Dario Marianelli for 'Atonement'

- Best Makeup: Liz Dann for 'Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End'

- Best Costume Design: Colleen Atwood for 'Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street'

- Best Film Editing: Tatiana S. Riegel for 'There Will Be Blood'

- Best Art Direction: Gary Freeman for 'Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street'

- Best Cinematography: Seamus McGarvey for 'Atonement'

- Best Documentary: 'Sicko'

- Best Animated Picture: 'Ratatouille'

- Best Foreign Language Film: 'The Counterfeiters'

- Best Adapted Screenplay: Ronald Harwood for 'The Diving Bell and the Butterfly'

- Best Original Screenplay: Diablo Cody for 'Juno'

- Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett as Jude Quinn in 'I'm Not There'

- Supporting Actor: Casey Affleck as Robert Ford in 'The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford'

- Leading Actress: Ellen Page as Juno MacGuff in 'Juno'

- Leading Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis as Daniel Plainview in 'There Will Be Blood'

- Best Director: Paul Thomas Anderson for 'There Will Be Blood'

- Best Picture: 'No Country for Old Men'

Top 10 Favorite Films of 2007

The1TheOnlyJP — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 03:51:05 GMT

Here it is, one final post relating to the movies of 2007. This in my opinion is really the only list that counts. Here I'm not talking about the supposed best films of the year (although some certainly are) but rather which ones I personally loved most. This time I'm actually going to place them in order though. So sit back and relax as I unveil my top ten favorite films of 2007. (Sadly, 'Bratz' is not one of them.)

[10] 'Black Snake Moan'
I love Samuel L. Jackson. He's the only reason I'm even interested in the upcoming action-flick 'Jumper.' His role in 'Black Snake Moan' as the bluesman Lazarus was something completely different for him. This was a movie which basically boils down to being about a black man reaching out to a lust driven white girl in an attempt at helping her with her sickness. Sounds a little dirty when in fact their relationship in the film is anything but. The sad thing is this turned out to be a defining role for Jackson and most people have never even heard of the film. Kudos to Craig Brewer for creating such a different story for us to experience.

[09] 'Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End'
After the disgusting fiasco in 2006 better known as 'Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest' I must say I was taken back by the fact I actually enjoyed 'At World's End.' This guilty pleasure not only is one of my favorite films of 2007, but is also my greatest theater-going experience of the year. For me there has always been something about being at large showings that just gets me excited. The sold out premiere that took place on Thursday May 24 did just that. Seeing this surprisingly fun flick with my dad in a theater packed to the brim with lovers, haters & newcomers to the 'Pirates' franchise was fantastic.

[08] 'Across the Universe'
'Across the Universe' was definitely the film I anticipated most of all in 2007. After months and months of waiting I was rewarded with an additional three weeks of waiting due to the ridiculous snobs at Revolution Studios. I bet they sure had their share of laughs once the film failed at the box office. To them I say, **** you. Even though it turned out to not quite be as amazing as I had envisioned it still remains to be among my favorites. From the creative army induction scene to Mr. Kite's whimsical circus almost every moment of it is pure gold. Plus, now every time my ears are filled with Joe Anderson and Salma Hayeks rendition of "Happiness Is a Warm Gun" I'm instantly transported to another place located somewhere between joy and delight.

[07] 'Atonement'
'Atonement' is an interesting movie. I liked how it was artsy enough to be considered among the Oscar front-runners and mainstream enough to feature an ending that only had me reminiscing about 'Titanic' despite very large differences. I also liked how it was able maintain a balance of almost every genre. It had its funny moments, anger streaks, thrilling sequences, dramatic tone, & of course romance. Honestly, I liked it so much I'm anxious to read the novel it's based on which I'll begin once I finish with 'The Mist.'

[06] 'Hairspray'
Never would I have guessed that a movie starring Zac Efron would end up as being one of my favorites of the past year. I have to admit though, it was just so much fun to watch. And watch I did; five times while it played in theaters to be exact. One of those viewings was even at 10:40 in the evening after a storm had knocked out the power at my house during mid-August. There I was all alone in that big auditorium seeing John Travolta shimmy and shaking on screen to his hearts content as "You Can't Stop the Beat" played. Scarier things can't even be seen within the darkest of nightmares I guarantee.

[05] 'Ratatouille'
Going into 'Ratatouille' I wasn't really sure what to expect. Yes, it was directed by Brad Bird who created another highly acclaimed Disney-Pixar film titled 'The Incredibles' a few years prior so it had that going for it. But one has to question just how good a film about a rat who aspires to cook in Paris could be. Once it was all over and I had seen it, my only question from then on which I pondered many times was will any other film top that this year? The answer remains the same to this day: no. It was a perfect example of Disney at it's finest and I've yet to see a film released in 2007 that managed to be better than it in terms of movie making.

[04] 'Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street'
Another Tim Burton movie, another time Johnny Depp is cast as its lead. We've been down this road before except this time it was truly great. Since the ending wasn't a jaw-dropper it would only be necessary for there to be other reasons why it turned out to be so. Hence why such emphasis and recognition is required regarding the flair and style exhibited by the cast. Burton's wife Helena Bonham Carter as Mrs. Lovett proved to hold her own with her not-so-smooth but rather rough vocals required to pull off the performance. Depp who wasn't exactly awe-inspiring in the singing department but not dreadful either per say was equally impressive. The only real problem I had with 'Sweeney Todd:' was the CGI-heavy opening credits. I've always loved how Burton takes the audience on a ride through the world in which his film takes place. Here though I just didn't understand why it was needed to feature so much CGI in the sequence when the remainder had little to none. No biggie though, like I said I thought it was great.

[03] 'Juno'
This movie which was inspired by Jamie Lynn Spears' recent headlines (ha, ha, ha) was for me the funniest of the year. The dialogue in it is so smart and so honest I had a smile so wide I was poking the people sitting beside me in their each of their cheeks. The fact the little thirteen year-olds that were behind me on the way out after it was finished were spouting aloud how they liked 'Knocked Up' better filled me with complete and uncontrollable rage. Thus I was not at fault when I spun around and pummeled them to the floor leaving them drenched in a lukewarm puddle of Coke from their half-drank sixty-four ounce cups they bought at the concession stand earlier. Well, not really, but I would have immensely enjoyed doing so.

[02] 'La Vie en Rose'
No actress was more on point or convincing in 2007 than Marion Cotillard in this bio-pic. She was beyond beautiful to watch. Then there was the scenery which was almost as mesmerizing as she was. I'm a sucker for backgrounds and such, and boy let me tell you 'La Vie en Rose' delivered. The city of Paris was fascinatingly smutty and grungy (in a good way) while New York was alluring and gorgeous. The way the lights sparkled behind Cotillard and Martin before they depart for the first time at the hotels entrance was lovely. Anyone who has any interest in the life of Edith Piaf should absolutely see this movie.

[01] 'Grindhouse'
Amazing. Kickass. Awesome. Mind-blowing. Incredible. Marvelous. Wahootastic. Are there any other words that more perfectly describe my favorite film of the year? It really sucks that people just didn't get this great piece of cinema. I mean seriously how hard is to understand that Rose McGown sporting a machine-gun leg plus Kurt Russell killing people with a car equals three hours and twelve minutes of crazy cool? OH, POOR LITTLE TONY!!! MOMMY TOLD YOU TO BE CAREFUL WITH THAT GUN!!! Just great. Now I've gone and confused people who haven't seen it even more because they're not going to know what the hell that last bit even referred to. Oh well, here's to my involuntary continuing of the problem.

Okay, I'm done. No more posts about 2007 I promise. All posts about movies from here on out will only pertain to that of releases of 2008. Once again, thank you to those that took the time to read. I love you all.

Dedicated to all of my friends: those very special people who put up with my non-stop jabbering about movies.

The 10 Best Films of 2007

The1TheOnlyJP — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 10:35:28 GMT

Hello, my name is JP Paxton and I love movies. What began in mid 2004 has since became my uncontrollable obsession that can now be considered nothing less than an incurable sickness. Seriously, I probably think of a movie or something movie-related once every ten seconds. Because of this, I am propelled to constantly see, write & talk about movies. Those of you who are my friends or at least know of me already know this. For the ones that don't, now you know. Here it is New Year's Eve which means that yet another year has passed. Of course though that also means I'm here to let you all know what films I consider the best of 2007. This year certainly had its share of disappointments including but not limited to 'Bee Movie', 'Underdog' & 'Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium.' I still can't recall what made me even think 'Underdog' might have possibly had a shot at being even half-decent. With the bad though there's always some good. For example 'Once'; the independent musical starring actual musical artists as the films two leads instead of actors resulting in real on-screen emotion. Also this year featured the thrilling crime-drama 'Zodiac' depicting the merciless murderers that started in the 60's by the infamous serial killer of the same name. Then there was the film that would inevitably become my favorite of 2007: 'Grindhouse.' The throwback to the gritty, low-budget exploitation double features of the 70's caused confusion among audiences nationwide due to marketing that didn't quite reveal its true nature. For those of that did understand it though we were able to appreciate it's kick-ass style and utter awesomeness. However, not one of the films I just mentioned are included in the list that follows and neither are 'Michael Clayton', 'Away From Her', 'Before the Devil Knows You're Dead' or 'Gone Baby Gone.' They all had some great qualities but just fell short in the end. With that, here they are in all their glory in no particular order, the ten films deemed by yours truly as the best of 2007.

'La Vie en Rose'

The passionate and troubled life of Paris singer Edith Piaf features one of if not the most captivating performances of the year. Written with her in mind by director Olivier Dahan, Marion Cotillard is flawless. I imagine she'll be a shoe-in for a nomination of best actress at this years Oscars.

'Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street'

Tim Burton and Johnny Depp's sixth collaboration together is a "bloody" good Gothic feast for the eyes. It's true, it is repetitious of Burton's previous works in terms of style but it's also a smooth and elegant telling of the macabre brought to life by its great music.

'Juno'

This was actually the final film I saw this year and how glad I am that ended up getting the chance to do so. It is an immensely funny, clever & sweet comedy starring the fantastic Ellen Page. Its greatest strength resides in the smart screenplay written by Diablo Codybest known for memoir titled "Candy Girl: A Year in The Life of an Unlikely Stripper."

'The Kite Runner'

One of three book adaptations featured in this best of list 'The Kite Runner' brings to the big screen Khaled Hossenini's gripping novel of friendship and betrayal. While many will argue the exact opposite, I found it to be an amazing story that will touch your heart.

'Ratatouille'

Take one ambitious rat named Remy, an array of astounding visuals that could only be created by Pixar studios and then mix them with the delightful storytelling and directing skills of Brad Bird. Let it simmer for a few years and what do you get? A delicious film that reinforces the fact that even after all these years magic has yet to leave the imaginative Walt Disney Pictures.

'Sicko'

Oh, how patriotic Michael Moore is. He returned this year with his documentary voicing the horrors of the healthcare system in America. The surprisingly interesting and entertaining two hours and three minutes and will make you cringe and leave you in complete awe.

'Atonement'

The opening film at this year's Venice Film Festival and adaptation of Ian McEwan's novel brought to the table a wondrous tale of longing which featured magnificent cinematography and an equally lovely score composed by Dario Marianelli. It's such a shame it's not playing in more theaters here in the U.S.

'Superbad'

Written by Seth Rogan and Evan Goldberg when they were just thirteen years old 'Superbad' turned out to be super good. The Judd Apatow produced comedy is hands down one the years funniest films that offers a truthful glimpse of teenage anxiety and has a groovy soundtrack to boot including cuts from composer Lyle Workman as well as tracks from The Bar-Kays and Rick James.

'I'm Not There'

The bio-pic formed and executed in a way that resembled one of its subjects own songs 'I'm Not There' gave an interesting look at the life of Bob Dylan. While it wasn't quite what I had envisioned beforehand it still is probably the best put together and creative film of 2007.

'No Country for Old Men'

The most compelling film of the year is brought to us by The Coen brothers. It gives us a front row seat to the violent game of cat and mouse portrayed by Josh Brolin and a extraordinarily crafty Javier Bardem as Anton Chigurh from the bestseller by Cormac McCarthy. There is no doubt in my mind a best picture nomination in store for this flick.

So there you have it. You may agree or disagree with my choices, it doesn't really matter to me. Just be aware that if you don't agree with me you are wrong. DEAD WRONG. Right now I'm typing this as my face sports a disturbingly angry expression... Seriously though, I wish you all a safe and happy new year. Thanks for reading.

Irrefutable

The1TheOnlyJP — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 01:01:40 GMT

After almost fifty years thereafter their debut in 1958 Alvin and his chipmunk brothers Simon and Theodore have returned and are starring in their very own live-action/CGI feature film. The five-time Grammy award winning trio has remained pretty much the same. Simon is still the smart one, Theodore is still the chubby one & Alvin is still...well Alvin. Let me make it perfectly clear though, I certainly didn't have high expectations for this film from the get-go but I can't refute the fact there was something that definitely surprised me about it. (This is part where you assume the cute little critters' re-telling of their rise to fame turned out to be pretty good.)

There's no denying they're cute. Especially Theodore (voiced by one-hit-wonder Jesse McCartney) who was the actual leading munk as opposed to Alvin. The chunky little, green hoodie-wearing guy who's obviously short a few acorns steals most of the spotlight with his adorable innocence. Also, as far cuteness goes there was no scene more touching than the opening of the Christmas gifts with their manager and friend Dave played by Jason Lee. Even the most cynical person would be unable to prevent themselves from smiling during each of their unveilings. However, no matter how cute they may be it doesn't make up for the overall mess of a movie this turned out to be. (This is the part where you question just exactly where I am going with this.)

Jason Lee who earlier this year voiced the lead character in an atrocious movie by the name of Underdog was absolutely lousy as Dave. From his facial expressions to the familiar yell of "AAAALLLLVVIINNNNNN!!!" it all was ridiculously and horrendously forced. Nothing about his character was believable because of this. Oh, but then there's David Cross (who's not even a half-decent actor to begin with) as the money-hungry record executive Ian Hawk. However, for the most part I can honestly say it wasn't all his fault. The feeble screenplay is mainly to blame. Never was there one inkling of cleverness written for him. Also, there's Cameron Richardson as the love interest of Dave who delivered her lines with as much depth as that of an empty childs swimming pool. Ugh, but at this point I'm just beating a dead squirrel thus I shall not continue. (This is the part where the true chipmunk fans are ready to stop reading. However, I urge them not to.)

So poor acting, writing & a few other things I didn't even mention. Let me just put that all aside here and get to my point. The thing that surprised me about 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' was it's ability to end up as an amazing oxymoron. Yes, it's one of the year's worst attempts at a movie. Some might even go as far to say a wasted opportunity to revive the Chipmunks' popularity. However, it's also the best movie of the year for kids. I kid not. After all I am JP Paxton, would I kid you?... OKAY, so there was that misleading (but hilarious) review for 'Bratz', but hey, my reasoning was justified. Anyways, before I get anymore off track, it's true, The Chipmunks will entertain the kiddies more than any other movie released this year. Let's face it, 'The Golden Compass' isn't for everyone, 'Bee Movie' was utterly dumb & 'Shrek the Third' was just plain bad. I guarantee that 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' will ignite uncontrollable laughing from any kid ten years old or younger. The silly jokes, catchy songs & lovable trio are all enough to make this THE movie to take the kids to this holiday season. (This is the part where you stop hating me.)

A Must-See

The1TheOnlyJP — Tue, 09 Oct 2007 00:35:43 GMT

"There's nothing you can know that can't be known. There's nothing you can see that isn't shown". Fantastic words originally sung by the Beatles back in 1967 and now being heard again in director Julie Taymor's original musical 'Across the Universe'. Filled with more than thirty songs by the famous group from Liverpool, it tells the tale of two star crossed lovers living in the ever changing 1960's. Of all the films to be released here in 2007 this was the one I was waiting for. It was first brought to my attention at the very start of the year by an uncanny Mr. Scott Yuken. I didn't invest much into his mentioning then seeing as how I hadn't heard of even seen a trailer for the film. Then on January 19th right before my viewing of 'The Last King of Scotland' that all changed. A guy on a beach appeared on the screen and began to sing 'Girl'. Before it was over and the title was revealed I knew this was the film Scott had been talking about. From that day on I'd been waiting and dieing to it see it. After a three week release schedule delay due to a revenge motivated Revolution Studios it happened. I finally got to see it this past Friday.

It's not done in the showy stage style like 'Chicago' and this year's 'Hairspray', nor is it any less entertaining. It sort of feels like it mimics the essence of 'Moulin Rouge' but takes itself seriously and goes one step further creatively and visually. From an interesting army induction number to a melodic underwater scene Taymor has brought to us one of the most stunningly illustrative films in years. I can't even remember how many times I caught myself with my mouth wide open in total awe. To boot, the music arrangements and new renditions of classic Beatles songs are just plain great. Some of the tunes will sound pleasingly familiar as they have been kept true to the originals like 'Hold Me Tight' and 'All My Loving'. Others like 'I Want to Hold Your Hand' have been transformed into completely new forms with equally different meanings. Personally I loved how the actors had to sing most of the songs live during filming adding a realistic emotional tone instead of lip syncing. Still, there's no doubt that some of the hardcore fans of the Beatles will voice their hatred of the re-workings to their beloved favorites even if deep down they can't admit even to themselves they love them.

Most surprising to me though were the stellar performances from this cast of mostly unknowns. Jim Sturgees impresses as the young dock worker from Liverpool with his undeniable charm. Evan Rachel Wood who many will remember from TV's 'Once and Again' where she played Jessie Sammler is superb as the idealist Lucy. Together their romance is although highly cliqued, in my eyes on the best on-screen relationships to date. Many of the other memorable actors are those who aren't seen but for a short amount of time such as Eddie Izzard as the fascinating ringmaster Mr. Kite. Then of course T.V. Carpio as soul-seeking lesbian Prudence who is for sure someone who should have been included more in the film. Her version of 'I Want to Hold Your Hand' is both haunting and moving.

Sadly enough, there are a few flaws in this wonderful spectacle of a film. I wanted to give 'Across the Universe' five stars, I really did. Nonetheless I can't escape the fact it didn't begin as extraordinary as the rest of it turned out to be. Starting out as if it wasn't quite sure it was going to be a run of the mill musical or one of the greats, everything just didn't take off. Maybe I seen the beach scene too many times in the trailer or I felt the switching back and forth between Lucy and Jude was a cheap way to cut the runtime. Either way, worry did wash over me along with the newspaper waves seen at the start. The only other thing I can see as a problem is something most people are going to hate me for saying. Yes, the songs were redone great, but perhaps there was just a bit too many of them. Thirty-one songs with vocals is awful lot you must admit. (Most movies musicals have nowhere near that many.) It pains me to stamp this review with but four stars. However, it's still one of my favorite films and I still urge everyone to see it because there's also no escaping the fact that 'Across the Universe' is one of the few must-see films of 2007.

'Halloween'

The1TheOnlyJP — Mon, 03 Sep 2007 10:06:26 GMT

The idea of the highly acclaimed 1978 horror-classic 'Halloween' from John Carpenter being redone is one that has sparked much debate since its mentioning last year. Many hardcore fans of it stuck their noses up at the thought where just as many modern day horror lovers began to anticipate it. I find the first film nothing truly special. It's okay and all, but there's nothing distinguishing about it except for the wonderful music it featured. So when it was announced a remake, I'm sorry a "revision" was being made only one thing drew me in: the fact Rob Zombie was going to be directing. His previous works 'House of 1,000 Corpses' and its follow-up 'The Devil's Rejects' are both personal favorites of mine. The rawness and unique level of energy injected into those was exactly what I had expected to see present in 'Halloween' Sadly enough, it didn't pan out quite as I had hoped.

For me the best part of the entire film is its beginning. Instead of just a mere six or seven minutes of vague back story, Zombie stretches that time to about fifty as he explains in depth the origins of the infamous Michael Myers. Everything we could possibly want to know as far as his past is finally revealed here. The original actually could have used a maybe not so lengthy, but informative intro. Daeg Faerch portrays a troubled young Michael whose childhood "hobbies" inevitably transform him into the silent killer we all know him to be. Sheri Moon Zombie's wife and Baby Firefly from his first two films plays Michael's loving mother. Both give equally mediocre performances coming off as sorely one dimension. The only time they have any flare is when their characters aren't talking. (Michael beating a bully to death and Deborah swinging on a stripper pole.) All the others introduced in the beginning are forgettable except for William Forsythe as Ronnie White and Malcolm McDowell. The only reasons we remember them is because Forsythe's role in 'Devil's Rejects' and McDowell we see consistently throughout the rest of this film.

After the introduction there isn't much new to be seen. Most of what made the original halfway decent has been trashed or traded for traits far less worthy praise. Laurie played by Scout Taylor-Compton and her friends' personalities are non-existent. No longer is there any sense of mystery or suspense either. As soon as Michael sees his victim he kills them right then and there as the scene beings to shake as if an earthquake is occurring at the same time. We hardly get to know any of the characters which makes it a little difficult to care about their death. Probably the worst part of it all is Zombie claimed that in his "revision" he'd make Michael scary again. However, there are no scares to be had whatsoever. The fright factor has been traded out for the popular gross out gore takes. The original was never about the spilling of blood, but rather the sense of uncertainty of if, when and where the masked killer would strike next.

Having said that, 'Halloween' is nowhere near as bad nor the embarrassment fanboys and critics are making it out to be. Like I said, for the highlight of the film was indeed the beginning. The keywords there are "for me". I think that ever though Zombie may have lost some of the bite the original had the overall product is still acceptable for what most young horror fanatics of today expect in their movies. They essentially want two things: boobs and blood. Here they get exactly what they pay for. The difference between 'Halloween' and other recent horror flicks is that Zombie has style.

omg!

The1TheOnlyJP — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 02:01:00 GMT

This past Friday audiences around the globe were invited to enter the fabulous world of the popular Bratz line of toys at their local movie theater. For the first time, the four friends Cloe, Jade, Sasha, & Yasmin broke out of their boxes and stepped onto the silver screen hoping to get across the following meaningful message: being true to yourself is just as important as the color of the heels you are wearing. Unfortunately not many people accepted the invite and the film entered the U.S. box office at number ten with a devastating opening gross of only $4.2 million. The disappointing total backed up bad reviews written by most critics. I myself have now the seen film and am here to set the record straight: ‘Bratz’ is not the atrocity people are claiming it be at all. It’s actually more fun than the other toy movie adaptation released just last month; ‘Transformers’.

The fun begins with the girls awakening to their first day of high school helping each other decide what to wear via webcam. Upon arrival they take the school by storm climbing to the heights popularity with ease. It’s then that Meredith, the principals daughter, played by the talented Chelsea Staub intervenes letting the foursome know they each must hang out only with their corresponding clique. Shortly afterwards they are separated from each other even after attempting to remain together. Fast forward two years where they are now juniors. It appears the evil Meredith has gotten her way seeing as how the girls don’t even say hello to each other when passing one another in the halls. With the former best friends forever permanently apart all looks to be hopeless. Their only chance to be friends and rule the school once again is to realize what’s really important before time runs out.

I bet you didn’t expect the movie was going to have that level of reality did you? Probably more shocking was the chemistry and performances from the girls. In the trailers they seem just as hollow and plastic as the dolls their characters are based on. Oh, how they showed they were certainly nothing even close. The best of the four is hands down Nathalia Ramos as Yasmin. Initially I thought since Yasmin is Hispanic and Ramos doesn’t exactly look so it would be an issue. After only about three minutes into the film it was obvious why casting directors Dorothy Koster and Joey Paul chose the young lady for the role. I’m telling you now, definitely watch for her in the future because big things are going to happen for her.

Aside from the acting, the addition of serious issues like Ian Nelson’s character Dylan being def and the heartbreaking on-screen aftereffects of Sasha’s parents divorce really established a solid and emotional tone for the film. Screenwriter Susan Jansen took what could’ve been but a mindless, teenybopper drama with no backbone whatsoever and made it a worthwhile delight guaranteed to make you laugh and cry. I honestly was surprised just how good the storyline was.

However, if I had to mention one thing that did disappoint me about ‘Bratz’ it would be Avril Lavigne’s song ‘Girlfriend’ (which is featured in its trailer) not being included in the film itself. It really would have fit perfectly too in one of the many scenes involving Cloe and Cameron. (Meredith’s boyfriend) This isn’t too big of a deal though. There are after all twenty-one other great tracks by artists like Ashlee Simpson, NLT, & of course the Bratz.

So there you have it, a real review of what is no doubt one of this year’s most underrated films. ...A review about as real as the bloated head, noseless, slut-looking dolls themselves... I didn’t think any film would fall lower than Lindsay’s Lohan mind numbing “thriller“ ‘I Know Who Killed Me‘, but I’ll be damned, ‘Bratz’ did it. Congratulations to Lionsgate and Sean McNamara for correctly demonstrating why making movies for profit is such a bad idea. Sadly, this will not serve as a warning to other studios. The same thing has happened many times and will continue in the future. The only thing that will change are the ways trailers for such awful films are edited as the studios try to edit them more cleverly attempting to lure unsuspecting moviegoers into wasting another $10.

OVERALL RATING:

Q & A: 'The Simpsons Movie'

The1TheOnlyJP — Sun, 29 Jul 2007 01:40:00 GMT

Howdy, folks. It's me, the one, the only JP Paxton back from my greatly enjoyed vacation. I've actually been anticipating today. As much as I liked not having to worry about producing a review each and every week, that same feeling of emptiness came over me I experienced earlier this year during the gap between my reviews for 'Grindhouse' and 'Spider-Man 3'. A lot has happened since my last review. Shia LaBeouf "transformed" himself from annoying twit to respectful actor in the rock 'em, sock 'em CGI delight 'Transformers', the fifth installment of the 'Harry Potter' franchise failed to work its magic on me as it turned out to be quite disappointing, & just last week the musical remake of John Water's cult classic of the late 80's 'Hairspray' burst into theaters bringing to the summer a much needed dose of fun and lightheartedness. Wait though, who cares about those films? Not you my readers apparently seeing as how all of them were outvoted by that movie about the oh so familiar family of yellow last month to be the one and only review I write during the month of July.

Yes, that's right, the much anticipated, the much talked about, the much Spider-Pig filled... 'The Simpsons Movie'. Now since this review was after all chosen by you (well, most of you) I thought it would be a change of pace to further involve you in the review process. Instead of just writing out my own analysis or that dreaded good, bad, bottom line format, earlier in the week I asked you all to send me questions via a bulletin on MySpace asking what you'd like to know about the movie. I chose five questions out of the lot and have answered them the best I can. So without further adieu, here are your answers.

Q: Just how funny is it really?
A: On a scale of one to ten (one being yawn inducing and ten being death from laughter hilarious) it's a solid eight. I never did laugh uncontrollably, but there were definitely some instances of true comedy here. The best gags much like in the television series are the spur of the moment ones that catch you off guard. Also, for the first time in quite a while, not all of the funniest jokes are featured in the trailer. I do however think Spider-Pig's astonishing ceiling walk should have been saved to be seen at the theater, but oh well.

Q: Is it as good as the show?
A: It's not great, but I think it's good enough to satisfy most fans. There are a few episodes that I'd consider better than it, but overall it remains on par with the recent seasons. Pretty much, the film is the equivalent of two great episodes and then one mediocre one.

Q: What was your favorite part?
A: My favorite part of the entire film isn't a joke or scene. It's the fact Groening and his talented team of writers didn't try to change or reinvent the Simpsons for their big screen debut. I was a little worried beforehand they'd make it over the top and ridiculous. It was great to see everything was kept in tact and stayed true to the series while at the same time giving a few surprises along the way.

Q: What did you like least about it?
A: Plain and simple, the hype. No, it didn't have anywhere near as much as 'Spider-Man 3' or 'At World's End', but it still a tremendous amount of it. Sorry, it didn't live up to it. I love the Simpsons and have watched them ever since I can even remember doing so. Even so, I was just a little disappointed when the film was over. I'm not saying I didn't like it, but as a whole it failed to reach its full potential.

Q: If you could change one thing about the movie, what would it be?
A: Two words: Sideshow Bob. He is undeniably one of the best characters in the whole series, and he wasn't even in the movie. Somehow, some way I would add him. One can only hope the next time around he makes an appearance.