Though I didn’t include it on my list of 80s movies that need TV series, I could actually see a show based on Heathers being pretty cool. No, I’m not pulling your dick. And no, I didn’t have a brain tumor for breakfast. I’d continue the quoting by saying this isn’t just a spoke in my menstrual cycle, but I don’t have one of those. What I do have is a nearly twenty-year obsession with the movie as well as an odd exception when it comes to the idea of adapting it to other media. Certainly I don’t want anyone remaking Heathers on the big screen, but I’d be first in line for a campy musical version, and I’d read a comic book based on it (the thing would have to be published by Archie Comics, obviously).
Of course, I don’t expect this newly announced series idea to be very good. Network television is no place for a show based on Heathers. Not even Fox can get away with what the thing should be like. It wouldn’t be Heathers without all the swearing. And it couldn’t be as dark as it must be, either. However, provided there were some smart minds behind the idea, it could work quite well as an HBO or Showtime program. With a tone somewhere between The Sopranos and Weeds. The way I’m expecting it to be, as long as it’s on commercial television, the show may as well be called Mean Girls instead. Which would be a great idea, actually, if Tina Fey was behind it.
So, yeah, Heathers: the TV Show could be very, but it won’t be, and I see what everyone’s damage is over this news. But don’t worry, if it does ever end up on the air, it’ll soon be off and just as forgotten as the shows Ferris Bueller, Dirty Dancing and My Big Fat Greek Life.
Check out some blog responses to the news — imagine them recited in a montage of lunchtime poll answers — after the jump:
- Perez Hilton thinks the show might indeed be very:
It may not be the sequel that Winona Ryder had hoped for, but maybe they could get her to play someone’s mom…We actually kind of like this idea. A sequel could come off cheesy, but an elongated, modernized storyline may breathe new life into the Heathers mania.
- Jarett at PopWrap likes the idea enough to “wear its scrunchie if asked.” He also wonders if there’ll be any cameos:
Basically this will be Fox’s version of “Gossip Girl,” which in my opinion, you can never have too much of. No word yet on whether OG stars Winona Ryder, Shannen Doherty, Christian Slater or Martha Dumptruck will return, but considering they could all use the work, I’d expect to see some familiar faces roaming the halls of Westerberg High.
- S.T. VanAirsdale at Movieline already sees a part for Ryder:
All of the principal characters from the original are expected to return for the series…Assuming her unsettling new appearance is reversible, Winona Ryder could be great as the touchy-feely teacher-monster Pauline Fleming. Just saying.
- Devin Faraci at CHUD.com isn’t too worried about the show given the success of another adaptation:
To be honest I’m not going to get up in arms about this for the simple reason that a TV series based on the movie Buffy the Vampire Slayer seemed like a truly awful idea at the time…The show obviously can’t just be JD and Veronica killing students every week, so there has to be something else planned for it, unless it’s just going to be a bitchier, darker version of 90210. Which is possible as well.
- Scott Thill at Underwire acknowledges the same shows as being followers of and yet potential influences on Heathers:
But keeping the cult favorite strange could be tough. The original Heathers skewered social cliques and suicide pacts with absurdist glee…But it’s been replicated by genre freaks like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and mainstream soaps like Beverly Hills 90210, whose star Shannon Doherty started out as a hated Heather. Plus, its story hinged upon surreal teen suicides, a thin foundation on which to base a television series for more than one season.
- Paul Tassi at JoBlo.com responds to a quote in Variety claiming this “seemed like a fresh and original idea”:
You know what would be a fresh and original idea? A fresh and original idea. Prefereably one that wasn’t based on a vastly overrated ‘80s teen angst movie. Yeah that’s right, in my estimation, the original HEATHERS had a great concept, but shit execution. And don’t get me started on Christian Slater.
- Gabe at Videogum also responds to the claims quoted in Variety:
It’s not a franchise if there’s just one movie, and it doesn’t need dusting off if people still care about it. More importantly: doing it for TV isn’t even a fresh and original SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT MEDIUM, much less “idea.” They literally don’t have a clue what that word even means anymore. “I want an everything bagel with idea cheese, and a no-fat venti ideaccino.” Jerks.
- Krystal Clark at ScreenCrave spots a trend and also offers the show’s developers some things to think about:
They’ve already adapted 10 Things I Hate About You for ABC Family, so I’m starting to see a theme here. I don’t know how they’ll rework it. Will someone die every episode? Will the entire run of the series focus on whether or not the killers get caught? That’s what they have to think about when tackling this story.
- Mark at I Watch Stuff assumes the show will be unrecogniable to Heathers fans:
So it will be Heathers without all the murdering and suicide? (I assume, in the interest of maintaining some sort of cast.) That doesn’t sound like much of a Heathers to me. Irreverent pranks will never be a substitute for making someone drink drain cleaner.
- David Wharton at Cinema Blend doubts the movie will translate easily to TV:
Its source material at least sets it apart from the glut of other modern teen dramas, but I’m extremely skeptical that any of the edginess or bleak humor of the original will survive a modern TV development process.
- Sean at Film Junk also doubts the subject matter will remain intact. But it could be popular anyway:
It’s a very dark comedy that seems pretty risque even today, so you have to wonder how well this will work on network TV. Still, if done right, it could probably turn out to be a hit. There’s no shortage of teen angst out there today, that’s for sure!
- Owen Williams at Empire thinks a ten-year-old tragedy would make a faithful adaptation difficult:
Heathers was a pretty self-contained story, and a sequel would have been tough to pull off successfully…The fear is that it would have to seriously have its teeth pulled in these post-Columbine times, but we can see a TV series working, especially given the diary-entry structure of the film.
- Company Town unintentionally presents us with the kind of censorship we’ll be seeing on the series:
We have a feeling that Heather No. 1 would react to this news by suggesting an inappropriate act involving a chainsaw, but since we’re a family site we’ll just say “corn nuts.”
- Amos Barshad at Vulture wonders how this will affect the other Heathers adaptation:
Loyal readers of Vulture’s the Industry may recall hearing about a musical version of Heathers starring Kristen Bell. We’re not sure where that’s at in development, but we can only assume that the race is now on for one of the two Heathers remakes to fake the other’s suicide.
- Mark Lisanti at Movieline suggests some casting ideas for the series, apparently hoping for a Gossip Girl tone. He also uses the opportunity to imagine one of the changes that will occur in the transition to the small screen:
Heather McNamara (Lisanne Falk)
Sadly, this role will be eliminated during development, following the network note, “Do there really have to be, like, three Heathers? That’s, like, a lot of Heathers. Our testing shows anything more than two Heathers and the demo gets totally confused.” Sorry, Heather McNamara, the focus groups have spoken.
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