Kevin Smith is having title trouble again. After previously dealing with censorship related to the title Zach and Miri Make a Porno, the filmmaker has run into a snag with his next movie, originally called A Couple of Dicks. Warner Bros. has changed the title of the comedy, which will star Bruce Willis and Tracey Morgan, to A Couple of Cops, obviously so as not to confuse anyone with the multiple (including the offensive) meanings of “dick.”
But this can’t be the end, because nobody in their right mind would distribute a movie with that new title. I’m pretty sure the word “cops” is poisonous. Has there been a single good movie with that word in the title since Buster Keaton’s 1922 short? Singularly, “cop” will occasionally work, such as in Beverly Hills Cop, Super Cop, Cop Land and Kindergarten Cop. But pluralized, I think the best we’ve seen is Cops and Robbersons. Recall that Hollywood Homicide was once titled “Two Cops,” which is quite like Smith’s movie’s name, but better. And maybe the original title cursed it, because the movie flopped. So, unless A Couple of Cops involves fumbling policemen resembling the Keystone Cops, it’s certain that the studio will need to brainstorm a new name quick, if it’s not already too late. Or, if Smith doesn’t really care about this movie, which he didn’t write and is seemingly only directing for the easy money, perhaps he can ultimately take his own name off and let it be an Alan Smithee film.
Here are some of the negative responses to the name change from around the web:
- Vince Mancini at FilmDrunk explains the change:
WB had originally acquired the script not realizing “dick” was a double entendre. Once they found out, they took immediate action, first experimenting with more literal titles such as A Couple of Dicks - Not Penises, This Isn’t That Kind of Movie At All before settling on the newer, shorter name.
- Kudos to the A.V. Club for referencing the fake Tracey Jordan movie within 30 Rock titled Black Cop White Cop, and noting that once again life is imitating art: “Variety’s report didn’t mention when we can expect Who Dat Ninja or Fat Bitch in theaters.”
- And kudos to the Fark headline for a great Clerks reference: “Warner Bros changes name of Kevin Smith’s new film to ‘A Couple of Cops’, fearing moviegoers might be offended by ‘A Couple of Dicks’. It’s not like there’s 37 of them.” Also, a great discussion in the Fark comments section references both classic and recent titular uses of “dick”: Dick and The Bank Dick.
- I also love the headline at The Playlist: “Emasculated: Kevin Smith Loses His ‘Dick’”
- “So now how will moviegoers know there are dicks in this movie? By seeing Bruce Willis on the poster?” asks Vulture.
- “I mean, we’re all adults here,” write’s Jessica Barnes at Cinematical, “has it really gotten to the point where even a pun as vanilla as a variation on ‘Private Dicks’ is too much for audiences?”
- Melanie Addington, of Oxford Film Freak, comments on Barnes’ post:
That doesn’t sound like that would help with any sort of marketing plan. At least A Couple of Dicks may scream, hey, fun Kevin Smith film - fans, come see it. But A Couple of Cops? Why does it sound like Paul Blart: Mall Cop Part 2? Blart Teams Up With Another Cop? Funny antics ensue. Sigh.
- Russ Fischer is a bit harsh with his joke at CHUD.com: “A title more limp than Mickey Rourke after the Oscars.”
- “Kevin Smith has spent his entire career delivering interesting movies with awesome titles and only a few of us showed up to see them,” writes Josh Tyler, jokingly giving in at Cinema Blend. “Maybe it’s time to give the people what they want, and what the people seem to want is a good nap.”
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