I guess if there’s room on Broadway for John Waters, there’s room on the stage for a movie that popularized the phrase “**** me gently with a chainsaw.” That’s right, everyone’s favorite homicidal teen comedy, Heathers, is about to be musicalized, so get ready for a choreographed number set to “Teenage Suicide (Don’t Do It),” as well as new tunes potentially titled “It Will Be Very,” “Plain or BBQ,” and, obviously, “I Love My Dead Gay Son” (director Andy Fickman has already said that last oft-quoted line has inspired some lyrics).
Of course, there seems to be new announcements of movies-turning-musicals every day. Why is this one more worthy of a Bloggery roundup than others? Because not only is Heathers one of my favorite films of all time, it’s also possibly the most sacred film ever for my buddy Monika Bartyzel (of Cinematical), who I just knew would wake up and immediately Tweet something like this: “I want to burn down Broadway and break the knees of every musical-adapting jerk out there.”
For more on her response and other bloggers’ reactions, keep reading after the jump.
- “I thought I was pretty mad when I heard that Footloose was becoming a new musical film,” writes Monika in her expected post (partly titled “Screw You, Broadway!”) at Cinematical. “Oh no, that was nothing. Child’s play, or rather, anger. It doesn’t come close to the rage I feel now, which has made its way into my veins and numbed me to my fingers and toes.
- Agreeing with her is the blog Seriously? OMG! WTF?, which hopes the musical is not successful, or at least ends up seeming to be a flop: “Veronica and JD need to put a stop to this in their own special way!”
- Best Week Ever’s Michelle Collins has the opposite outlook (I think): “Uch, corn nuts and musical theater? It’s like I’ve fake killed myself and gone to heaven..”
- Michaela Drapes at Idolator is also (or legitimately) excited, despite having cringed at Hugh Jackman’s statements at the Oscars: “If the ‘return’ of the musical means that the Heathers musical will wash the nasty taste of too many installments of High School Musical from my mouth with some vicious blue liquid drainer, so be it.
- A similar response from Michael K at dlisted: “Normally when it’s announced that a movie is turning into a gay ass musical spectacular, I get the dry heaves in my asshole, but this shit right here has made my life.”
- Also optimistic is Leah Greenblatt at Pop Watch: “[Heathers] is actually kind of amazingly ripe for the stage, don’t you think?”
- “This could be cause for celebration or devastation,” reasons Rod at The Playlist, “depending on how the songbook turns out.”
- Whitney Matheson at Pop Candy simply calls the news “interesting.”
- “Obviously, if the musical’s a hit, the next step is to make a movie remake of that remake, which would obviously feature cameos from the original cast,” presumes Colin Boyd at get the Big Picture.
- And on that subject, Vulture’s Amos Barshad reaches our hearts via a 30 Rock reference:
The project has been moving along incognito, with readings featuring Kristen Bell in the lead role having taken place this week. The plan is to go from a regional run to Broadway in 2010 and eventually to a big-screen adaptation. Bell will then be eligible for the coveted Best Actress in a Movie Based on a Musical Based on a Movie award.
- “The final cast will likely be different,” guesses Gothamist’s John Del Signore, “and while it’s unlikely Winona Ryder and Christian Slater will reprise their iconic roles, one never knows—things are a tad slow for those two these days.”
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