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  • Film Critics vs. Comic Movies, and other Wonderful BS. BlogNosh 08/06/08

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    • For all the griping about how critics just don’t get the stuff that fanboys love, a show of the numbers suggests that reviews from Tomatometer and Metacritic ranked critics are more friendly to movies based on comic books than maybe any other single genre. Jim Emerson elaborates on his findings.
    • Rumsey Taylor on the “brand ambience” of Mad Men: “When Draper is describing each of these products, you’re held rapt by his words, and how they pronounce, with consummate precision, their transcendent significance. It’s all bullshit, of course, but what wonderful, wonderful bullshit.”
    • Last night at Largo in Los Angeles, “Maya Rudolph and Fred Armisen performed a series of light and effortless vignettes co-written and directed by Paul Thomas Anderson.” According to Vulture’s Nick Confalone, the performance felt “like sneaking a peek at P.T. Anderson’s Punch-Drunk Love notepad, exploring that movie’s notion that there’s someone for everyone, even though everyone is a little bit weird and fucked up. Whatever the future for this show, last night it made us grin like an idiot and tell our friends, ‘Love is awesome, right?’” Wonderful bullshit indeed.

    Originally posted on:SpoutBlog

  • Cloris Leachman’s Academy Award Strap-On. Clip of the Day

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    The Aristocrats  (2005)

    It was a given that Comedy Central’s Bob Saget Roast would be raunchy. Especially without the Olsen Twins present to make the roasters feel guilty (the night was apparently filled with jokes about Saget having sex with his TV daughters). But who expected Cloris Leachman to steal the dirty show by threatening to use her Oscar as a strap-on in order to **** John Stamos? Or did she want to **** Jon Lovitz? Either way, it will make me think differently of her winning performance in The Last Picture Show from now on.

    Don’t you wish your grandmother was so crass? Only yesterday, while writing my Muppet Roommate clip post, I was thinking fondly about how funny Phyllis Diller is still (she was great in The Aristocrats). Now, I’m happy to know that in her ’80s, Leachman is still hilarious, too. Of course, unlike Diller, who supposedly never does blue comedy, Leachman is foul enough to make reach-around jokes about Jack Benny.

    I guess for those who can’t appreciate such octogenarian humor, a clip of some Olsen-fucking jokes can be found after the jump.


    Originally posted on:SpoutBlog

  • A Pineapple Express-ion of Huey Lewis Cashing a Paycheck

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    I’m glad I didn’t know Huey Lewis and the News were performing their Pineapple Express plot song on the Jimmy Kimmel show, because if I had, I might have actually forced myself to watch the Jimmy Kimmel show, and it wouldn’t have been worth it. The video evidence of the performance is above, and it’s hard to imagine a more cheerless gesture of synergy. After Huey’s half-assed opening hand claps, he seems to give up the game to his horn section. Maybe for good reason––he’s seemingly employed the finest pop-rock saxophonists alive––but I’m still going to say it’s for Huey Lewis and/or plot song completists only.

    Related: Pineapple Express and a Brief History of the Plot Song

    Via Movie Marketing Madness


    Originally posted on:SpoutBlog

  • Britney Spears in Tarantino’s Faster Pussycat Remake?

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    Britney Spears to play lesbian killer in Quentin Tarantino film!!!!!!

    The exclamation points are mine, but they’re implied in this Telegraph headline, which is quickly making the rounds of the “publish first, conveniently forget to retract later” gossip blogs. The rumor is that Britney has been hand-picked by Quentin to “play dancer Varla in a remake of the 1965 cult film Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!”

    The reality check: as far as I can tell––Tarantino has never even confirmed a Liz Smith report from way back in January claiming that he’s making a remake of the Russ Meyer schlock classic. And, since that story mentioned that Britney was in the running, even if there is something to it it’s kind of old news. It might be a strategic PR drop (I don’t know by who––does Britney even have a publicist anymore?) to counteract the Page Six item from last week, which suggested (without comment from the Tarantino camp) that porn star Tera Patrick was getting the role. But I have a hard time believing that this is anything other than a publicity game at this point, considering that Tarantino hasn’t even finished casting the epic that he plans to screen in seven months at Cannes.

    That said: if it’s between Spears and Patrick, we definitely vote for the former. She needs it more.


    Originally posted on:SpoutBlog

  • George Lucas Is In Love With Television

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    I was lucky enough to be able to go to San Francisco on Sunday night for a screening of Star Wars: Clone Wars. On Monday, Warner Bros. took us out to George Lucas’ Big Rock Ranch for an interview with Lucas himself, along with director Dave Filoni and producer Catherine Winder. However, it pretty much turned into The George Lucas Show, and given his newfound love affair with television, that might actually become a reality. As long as it doesn’t become a reality show, I’d be okay with it. Some highlights from the interview include:

    • Is there an entertainment industry inside the Star Wars universe?
    • Why The Clone Wars, why now, and why make it animated?
    • More about the live-action Star Wars television show they’re working on.
    • Why George might only work in television from now on.
    • Some skinny on the next Indiana Jones movie.

    Read the full interview after the break.

    So what do people do for fun in Star Wars? I know we’ve seen that pod race, but do they watch movies, play video games, and have Internet?

    Well, they like pod races. They like gambling. They like card games. They go out and shoot at wamp rats in the canyons with their local… tractors. There is an entertainment industry, but you won’t find that out until you get to the live action show in a few years. I mean there is an entertainment - I mean, they go to the opera.

    The Star Wars saga always been steeped in mythology and Jungian archetypes. What sort of mythological territory the Clone Wars series and the live action series will eventually travel to?

    Well, the mythological arch of the saga doesn’t really continue into these other things, because that is a story. It has a beginning, middle and an end. It’s the story of one man’s struggle against evil and redemption by his son and that sort of thing.

    So, this is more like episodic. It’s more like Indiana Jones actually. You have themes and things still go through, and there are issues like that. But, it’s not what it’s based on. It’s bigger… we get to go more places.

    And the fun part about animation especially and The Clone Wars in particular is that we’re allowed to go and do stories about clones. We get to know them, and find out what they do for recreation. And what Jabba the Hutt’s family is all about. And do all kinds of things that don’t have anything to do with the main character.

    The film itself, the series itself, and the epic is basically about one man, so it’s very, very narrow. And you pass through a lot of things, and you look, “What’s that over there?” But, you never get to look. So, this allows us to go look at all that stuff, because we’re no encumbered by this mythological uber-story of the physiological underpinnings of why somebody turns to be a bad person.

    Why an animated movie now? Can you talk about the stylized look of the characters themselves? Why did you choose to go with the styled characters as opposed to making them look realistic/photorealistic?

    Photorealistic is what live action moves are. Animation is an art. This is an art philosophical discussion. You either like photorealistic art that looks exactly like a photograph - and you like to hang out in the Museum of Modern Art - or you like something that actually tries to find the truth behind the realism.

    And to me, animation is an art. It’s all about design. It’s all about style. It’s not about making it look photo real. I’ve been making photo real movies all my life. They have a lot of animation in them, but they’re still photo real. And that’s not what animation is. Animation is something else entirely. It’s a completely different medium. So, that’s why we didn’t do it photo real. When we did Revenge of the Sith, I lamented the fact that I had to jump over the Clone Wars. I jumped over the Clone Wars because it had nothing to do with Anakin Skywalker. He’s just another player; it’s not about him. We had a very narrow focus on talking about him personally. And so I couldn’t do that.

    Full-sized Anakin Skywalker maquette

    But, the other part of “why now”…? Basically, I started out in animation. I studied animation when I was in college, and produced and worked with a lot of, hung out with a lot of animated films and stuff in my career. And I’ve always been interested in it.

    I said, “It’s just too bad, because it’s great … I mean it’s like World War II. It’s a huge canvas there to be mined.” So we decided we would do a little five minute animation series for Cartoon Network using anime, manga and those kinds of ideas that I’ve always wanted to work in. And we hired a really great director, Genndy Tartakovsky, to do it for us. But, that sort of got me going to say, “You know, we could do a really regular TV show - a big one. A half hour show and it could really be great. It could use all the new techniques we’ve developed in CG animation and that sort of thing.”

    And I said, “When I finish Star Wars, I’m going to start this, and I’m going to do it.” And so that’s basically what happened. I got to fill in a blank, and go around in a universe that is not restricted and therefore not quite as dark. We can have a lot more fun with it. We can enjoy it. It’s a little more lighthearted. We ended up doing a TV series. When the first few shots came back and I looked at them on the big screen, I said, “This is fantastic. This is better than we ever imagined it would be.” And, “This is so good it could be a feature.” So I said, “Why don’t we make a feature?”

    We have Ahsoka, one of our main new characters, and I said, “Why don’t we make a feature that introduces her, that actually introduces one of the main characters from the television show?” So we did that, but it’s purely something I wanted to do in terms of exploring animation - doing something I enjoy doing.

    Full-sized Ahsoka Tano maquette

    I’ve sort of moved from features to television. Again, I’m in this position where if we’re doing something, even as television, that turns out to be good enough to be a feature, then we just switch it over. We don’t have a business plan where things are pegged to do one thing or another. And so, a lot of the techniques and things that we used, because we want to make the best television series that’s ever been created, and it ended up being good enough to be a movie. I’ve got about maybe 50 projects in here. And I have to sort of say, “Well which one works now?” And it makes sense for me to do these TV things. I love television; it’s a lot more fun than giant movie productions.

    Did you feel, with this film, that you had to give yourself a bigger challenge than maybe previous works you’ve done in the Star Wars genre in the live action?

    It’s challenging. Art is a technological medium. All art is, and so a lot of it has to do with engineering and trying to figure out how to create what you imagine. It’s also a medium that is dictated primarily by the amount of resources you have available to you. If you’re a Pharaoh you can build pyramids. If you’re a shaman, you really only have a few pieces of chalk and a wall in a cave. You have to work within that.

    Probably the most daunting thing we were trying to do, because we wanted to really push the limits of what started out as a TV show that was really beyond anything you’ve ever seen on television. To take feature animation, which costs 20, 30 times what TV animation costs, and do that for television? Do something that actually looked like feature animation for television. That was a challenge.

    Given enough time and money, anybody can create anything. But, given a very, very, very restricted budget and very, very restricted resources it’s a challenge. So, we had to build studios. And we had to build a studio from scratch, train people from scratch, the artists, develop new techniques. We did not make this in the normal way you make an animated feature. I took my Padawan here [director Dave Filoni] and said, “We’re not doing that anymore.” Now you’re entering the world of live action features, and we’re going to treat this like a live action feature. We’re going to rely on editing rather than storyboarding. And there are a lot of techniques we used that completely shifted the paradigm.

    And it makes a different kind of animated film that relies more on cutting and editing than it does on storyboards. And longer shots, and that sort of thing. So, it was a challenge, and we still have a challenge. I mean, everybody wants to go to what they know and to change is really hard. And to create something from scratch with new technologies is really hard.

    You know, we’re trying to do the same thing to live action. We’re trying to do a live action TV show. This was a test for that. If we can do something that will stand up to a feature… and we did. I put it up on the screen and said, “This is a feature.” I said, “We did it, in spades.” Much better than we thought it would happen. And so, now I’m trying to take Star Wars, which is a $50 million an hour adventure, and do it for like $2 million an hour. That’s a trip. That’s a hard thing to do and have it look the same.

    Some of the actors who appeared in the live action Star Wars movies such as Samuel L. Jackson reprise their roles in Clone Wars. Why weren’t some of the other primary actors who were in the movies in this film?

    Well, we do it all over, all the time. We need people available every week, and you can’t really afford multi-million dollar actors to do a television series. A television series is… The license fee on the average television series is about $200,000. It’s nothing. Those guys make more during their coffee break.

    So when we decided to do the feature, when I said, “Hey, this is great. Let’s do a feature, “then we went back to the actors and we said… OK, we told them we were doing the TV series, just as a courtesy. But, then we said, “Look, we’re doing a feature. Would you like to do to the voice in the feature?” And some of them said, “Yes”. Some of them were off doing features. This was all done, again, fairly rapidly. It wasn’t like we said, “OK, next June we’re going to do this.” Its like, “Could you come in a month, in four weeks and do this? They’re more like “We have two days.” Some of them were all over the world. And some of them said, “Yeah, OK. Great. I’ll come in and do it.” And some of them couldn’t.

    Miniature Obi-Wan Kenobi maquette

    It used to be in animation you’d just had actors play the parts. The secret is a lot of people, especially in television animation, didn’t hire really great actors. And even in features they didn’t. So, the idea of hiring a really good actor, Tom Hanks to play the thing, was a really revolutionary idea. It was mostly Jeff Katzenberg who said, “We need really top actors.” Well, there are a lot of top actors who aren’t movie stars. Partly they did it because they are great actors. Partly they did it because they wanted to use them for publicity, so they could sit up here and talk to you.

    And to be very honest with you, as much as I love you guys, I don’t think I need to hire an actor, a big movie star, to go and publicize my movie. If the movie works, and you like it and you love it, that’s fine. But, I don’t need Angelina Jolie here to have you guys come and say, “I’m only going to this press conference because Angelina’s going to be there, and I want to get her autograph.” That’s what it comes down to in the end, and that’s what they do. They simply use them. They have two days in the studio or three days in the studio, and then they have two weeks doing press. So, they’re mainly paid for the press stuff. They’re not really paid for doing the movie. I’m sure I’m going to hear from Jeff about that.

    Can you talk about the inspiration behind Ahsoka and Ventress? It’s really great to see them both in there.

    Ahsoka was primarily… I wanted to develop a character that would help Anakin settle down, because at the end of Episode Two he’s kind of a wild child, and he and Obi-Wan don’t get along. So, the idea was to see how they become friends, how they become partners, how they become a team.

    One of the ways to do that… because when you become a parent, when you become a teacher, you have to become sort of more responsible. It sort of forces you into this adulthood thing. And so what I wanted to do is take Anakin and force him into this kind of, “Now I have to teach somebody.” And, “Now I have to be slightly more responsible.” So it was that juxtaposition.

    I happen to have a couple daughters, so I have a lot of experience with that particular situation. And I just said, “Rather than making it another guy, why don’t we make her a girl,” because that’s fun and I have a lot of girls. They’re just as hard to deal with as teenagers as boys are.

    Can you tell us about the prospect for another Indiana Jones film, given the success of the current film?

    That’s one of those things that sits on the shelf there as one of 50 projects that I have to deal with. And if I can come up with a story… it’s very hard to come up with a story, too, I think. It’s really impossible. It has to be real; it has to be something that actually happened that people know about. And it has to be supernatural. It’s a really difficult research project, which we’re researching now. I mean, it took us 14 years to come up with the last film.


    Originally posted on:SpoutBlog

  • Notes On A Sex “Scandal”

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    Scandal  (1989)

    In celebration of my latest hero Max Mosley, son of Britain’s prewar fascist leader and head of Formula One racing, who refused to passively be set up in a “Nazi orgy” sting operation by the shameful “The News of the World,” who bravely took his invasion of privacy battle to court where he proudly invoked his inalienable S&M right to be spanked – and won! – I say, here’s to you, my fellow perv. And the next time you’re in the States the caning’s on the house (of domination. But feel free to tip a portion of that 120 grand in damages awarded).

    So with that case now out of the way, let’s revisit the original British, S&M sex Scandal.

    “She’s on the telly, isn’t she?” golden burlesque babe Christine Keeler (played by a pitch perfect Joanne Whalley) asks John Hurt’s striking, sugar daddy doctor Stephen Ward, referring to his knockout date as they swoon around the floor of a ritzy club, once he’s charmed her into a dance. “Except when she’s flat on her back,” Stephen replies, laughing uproariously at the beginning of Michael Caton-Jones’ thoroughly seductive take on Britain’s notorious Profumo affair that brought down the Conservative Party in the early 60s. The fact that the social climbing Christine has a hearty chuckle right along with the charismatic cad speaks louder than any words.

    Next thing you know dominant Stephen’s insinuated himself into Christine’s life, showing up unannounced at her mum’s house (father’s absence as glaringly apparent as Stephen’s ego) – drowning in arrogance, both shamelessly forward and enthrallingly sexy with a cigarette dangling from his cocky lips, as comfortable in his dashing body as the middle-aged Cary Grant. It’s inevitable that Christine move into his cushy flat, that she’d assent submissively to dying her blonde locks to become his Jackie “O” clone. “Sir” Stephen’s the crown prince of high-class pimps, wooing his soon-to-be call girl with coos of “little baby,” tenderly holding her face in his strong hands only to slide away effortlessly when she moves in for a kiss (unthinkable to get involved with the goods!)

    “The sight of silk on milk white flesh…when you come it’s like a sigh,” Stephen holds forth poetically on what “the Americans refer to as heavy petting” at his lavish dinner party, the table set with a huge clear dildo in lieu of a flower arrangement. “He’s a connoisseur of sin,” a guest remarks. And is he ever. When Christine jealously pouts about another woman who shows up Stephen merely smiles sadistically, tells her “wet your lips.” And that’s the last of the envy we will see in chastised Christine who now understands precisely the whore/slave she’s become – so why not sit back and revel in the decadent ride?

    Soon Christine has taken in her own hooker-in-the-making in the form of Bridget Fonda’s ambitious vixen Mandy Rice-Davies, a platinum Marilyn to Christine’s dark Jackie O. Caton-Jones stages an erotic montage of the two readying for a night at the regal 21 Club, dressing up as a steamy fetish shoot. From the intimate CUs of stockings rolling up those “milk white” thighs (Christine’s silky black before a cut to Mandy’s pure white), the snapping garters (again Christine’s bad girl black leading the way for Mandy’s virginal white), Christine lining eyebrows, Mandy shadowing eyes, the clasping corsets dark before light, Christine painting her nails red, Mandy hers pink, the shimmying into tight white and black dresses, blood red lipstick followed by candy pink. And every sultry move set to a twanging guitar score – off to conquer the Wild West!

    Or Cold War East. “I’m a curious fellow, insatiable in a way,” Stephen purrs to the doughy MI5 guy who wants him to get dirt on his fellow comrade-in-hedonism Ivanov, a probable Russian spy. Stephen is every bit as dangerously hot as the girls he procures for the upper class, an immoral, walking sex bomb – made all the more so by his ruthless lack of loyalty, by his unattainable nature (he’ll screw his so-called pals before he’ll screw his girls – power the only orgasm that matters). Both Stephen and his “friends” down their cocktails as they’re drinking in nubile curves with a ravenous intensity only the devil could muster.

    Though the devil is not without a sense of fun. Between the swimming pool cavorting, a naked Christine peek-a-boo dancing with a pair of palm leaves, the flirting eyes, the pouting lips, sex becomes an outsized Playboy mansion affair, just another manifestation of the good life to be had at the expense of others (for the sexually ambiguous Stephen walks that delicate line between dominant and submissive, is a kept man of sorts himself, an osteopath living beyond his means by discreetly procuring flesh for his power broker patrons). A grand orgy has the requisite comely bodies screwing like bunnies, but it also has light comedy in the form of a masked slave serving drinks on a silver platter, a “Beat Me If I Fail To Satisfy” sign hanging about his neck (prompting Mandy to deliver a pleasing smack with a thorny white rose upon finding her cocktail a tad warm). In fact, the only major character that isn’t dripping sex is the impeccable Ian
    McKellen’s shy, nerdy Minister of War John Profumo who mistakes this world of lush fantasy for a sumptuous reality.

    Though Christine enjoys the hairpin curve thrills of fucking both a politician and a likely spy (within seconds of Profumo driving away Ivanov inevitably pulls up to the flat), it’s Stephen who lives for the intrigue. “Thinks he’s James Bond or something,” Christine sniffs to Mandy. For both Stephen and Christine sex is nothing more than grownups indulging in children’s games, role-playing for fun and profit. When Christine does sound a serious note inquiring, “Is Ivanov a spy?” Stephen shrugs her off with, “Why not? Sounds like fun.” Yet deep down Christine knows that she and Stephen are two rare birds of a feather, whore and pimp as yin-and-yang, which is why she refuses when Profumo asks her to leave her mentor. (Not surprisingly, her cold and calculating daddy thinks her moving out a splendid idea – “he could be prime minister someday,” after all.)

    But perhaps the most telling scene occurs after Christine finally leaves Stephen to “have some fun” – at her control – with Johnny (a very Fine Young Cannibal Roland Gift). Returning in tears to Stephen once the fling turns to bodily harm she finds that none other than her own protégé Mandy has taken her place. The weeping in Stephen’s arms transforms into ridiculous laughter – an echo of the opening when they had a chuckle at the expense of Stephen’s date – his mantra of “it’s all flesh,” sex as meaningless pastime their secretly shared understanding. When Stephen eventually admits to caring for Christine “more than I can say,” it’s this crucial scene that gives the line its weight.

    But that bittersweet love is not enough to overcome what the decadent doctor has wrought. Wherein Profumo mistakes fantasy for reality Christine does the opposite, confusing mortal danger for a game, even erupting in a fit of giggles after Johnny fails to shoot his way through the front door. Stephen’s only complaint is that the press arrived before the police – bad publicity the most lethal of weapons. ”You pulled the strings. I’m what you made me,” Christine accuses Stephen in her own defense, offering that she’s his (i.e., you break it, you buy it) for better or worse. “It’s over, little baby. It’s over,” he simply sighs the term of endearment cutting her out with the skill of his surgeon’s knife. She’d gone too far (alas, if only he’d known how far she’d yet to go!)

    And then the fateful domino drops when a devastated Christine pours out her aching heart to the first wolf-in-sheep’s-clothing reporter (from “The News of The World” naturally!) to approach. Unperturbed, miscalculating Stephen tells the paranoid Profumo, “I dreamt her up – I can make her vanish.” When Profumo demurs that the letter he sent Christine wasn’t incriminating, that he never even laid a finger on her Stephen quickly slices through the bullshit with, “Come off it, Jack, we all have something to hide.” Stephen may be ruthless and power hungry but he’s also the only honest bloke in the room, always wearing his immorality proudly on his sleeve like a warped talisman.

    But to no avail – as the law closes in, it’s Stephen and Christine who end up pariahs, sitting alone together in the semi-dark of Stephen’s flat, highlife junkies whose addiction to the hedonistic lifestyle has left them with no one to turn to but each other. When Christine is asked on the stand why she kept returning to Stephen after leaving him “eight or nine times” she knowingly admits, “He’s a very dominating personality,” who had “full control over her mind” – the very definition of the sadomasochistic pimp/whore relationship entered into court evidence. But then, tragically, in the final moments of Caton-Jones’ gripping drama, those heartbreaking words appear on the screen, disclosing that the real Christine served jail time, that the real Stephen’s fatal overdose was followed by a burial no one attended. And I couldn’t help but think of today’s “The News of the World” scandal, of Max Mosley as an avenging angel 45 years in the making, his tabloid-ready S&M play a pale imitation of life.


    Originally posted on:SpoutBlog