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  • 10 Movie Romances That Probably Didn’t Last

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    It took me awhile, but last week I finally saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. And to agree with many others, I think it features a few too many ludicrous moments. Yet the most outlandish, in my opinion, is the scene in which Indy and Marion seem to reenact His Girl Friday in about four seconds while riding in the back of a truck. I know it’d been awhile, both for them and for us, but I prefer a little more bickering, a little more holding back in comedy of remarriage plots.

    Anyway, we knew a long time ago, thanks to Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, that Indy and Marion didn’t last long together after the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. So, I didn’t really care if they ended up together at the end of Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, either. It’s probable they still wouldn’t last. And I think the same often with other unlikely movie couples at the end of their respective films. Fortunately, a number of sequels tell us outright that the romance of the first film failed (see The Karate Kid, Part II and Jurassic Park III). Unfortunately, most of the following films didn’t have follow-ups. But if they had, I bet we’d have discovered the romances didn’t last much longer than the closing credits.

    1. Bringing Up Baby: Dr. David Huxley (Cary Grant) and Susan Vance (Katherine Hepburn) - As is the case with most screwball comedies, the leads here just don’t seem that compatible. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that Susan was quickly shipped off to a mental hospital for being such a daffy loon. Then there’s the matter of her destroying Huxley’s work at the end. No man would really put up with that, even if there were some attraction. And I never actually bought that there is any attraction from his end.
    2. Ghostbusters and Ghostbusters II: - Dr. Peter Venkman (Bill Murray) and Dana Barrett (Sigourney Weaver) - This franchise utilizes the device of having the couple split up between the first and second films only to get back together at the finish of the sequel. I understand that audiences prefer a happy ending, but when you know they didn’t work out the first time, why would you believe they could work a second time? Because Dana’s baby seems to like Venkman? Apparently so. But those of us who watched the cartoon series The Real Ghostbusters know that had they remained a couple, Dana would have been animated along with the rest of the characters.
    3. Amelie - Amelie Poulain (Audrey Tautou) and Nino Quincampoix (Matthieu Kassovitz) - Despite what Hong Kong audiences who saw Happenstance might think, Amelie has not been given a sequel. So we are just to assume that Amelie and Nino live happily ever after, despite the fact that they’ve only just met right before the end of the film. And we never really get to see them have a conversation, either. We just know that Amelie is kind of a creepy, albeit adorable, stalker and that Nino works in a porn shop. Hopefully he kicked her off his motorcycle as soon as the Yann Tiersen score was over (because then she can come stalk me — see, I’m just bitter with this one).
    4. Chungking Express: Cop 663 (Tony Leung) and Faye (Faye Wong) - Faye is kind of like the precursor to Amelie, as she’s something of a stalker — but it’s OK, because she’s so darn cute. While the ending of Wong Kar-wai’s film is ambiguous, we’re kind of expected to believe these two end up together. But what happens when Cop 663 realizes how often Faye broke into his apartment? And how often she plays “California Dreaming” over and over and over again? And how capricious girls are tolerable for only so long?
    5. The Muppets Take Manhattan: Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy - When I was a kid, I thought it made sense for the frog and the pig to be married at the end of this film. Their relationship had been like a Sam & Diane sort of thing for so many years, it seemed inevitable. But when I got older, I realized that Kermit really has no feelings for Piggy, and it’s even evident by his expression during the wedding scene. And I became angry that Jim Henson and Co. would allow kids to applaud the beginnings of what would be a loveless marriage. While writing this, though, I found out from the Muppet Wiki that in “real life” Kermit denies they were really married and that it was just part of the movie. Apparently Piggy claims otherwise. Meanwhile, for people who are actually fans of the relationship, you can see what their offspring would look like in The Muppet Christmas Carol.
    6. Some Like It Hot: Joe (Tony Curis) and Sugar Kane Kowalczyk (Marilyn Monroe) - I’ve never been accepting of characters who woo women with deception such as costume and false identities, and there have been countless examples in both movies and TV throughout the years. Some Like It Hot probably isn’t the first film to feature such fraudulence, but because Joe fools Sugar Kane by being both a good girl friend and a rich suitor he’s double guilty. I trust that even the relationship between Jerry/Daphne (Jack Lemmon) and Osgood Fielding III (Joe E. Brown) lasted longer.
    7. Tootsie: Michael Dorsey (Dustin Hoffman) and Julie Nichols (Jessica Lange) - This one is pretty much the same as the relationship in Some Like It Hot, only it’s a bit more respectable because Michael is less aggressive in his falling for Julie. Sure, there’s one scene where he’s not in drag and he attempts a kinda sleazy maneuver, but at least he never takes on a yachting outfit and Cary Grant voice. Thankfully, there is no kiss at the end of Tootsie, just forgiveness, and we’re left to think Michael and Julie will only become acquaintances at best. I have doubts that even that relationship lasted very long.
    8. Juno: Juno MacGuff (Ellen Page) and Paulie Bleeker (Michael Cera) - High school movie romances should never be believed to last (especially the couples formed at the end of The Breakfast Club). I know, there are a number of high school sweethearts that do get married and live happily ever after. But most of us are not with the boy or girl we dated in high school. Even if there is a baby involved. Personally, I think Paulie Bleeker is too good for Juno, and I think he probably goes on to college and moves on with his life, while doing his part to contribute to the baby, of course.
    9. Two Weeks Notice: Lucy Kelson (Sandra Bullock) and George Wade (Hugh Grant) - I’ve witnessed first-hand that opposites can attract. And if I hadn’t, I could always use James Carville and Mary Matalin as a prime example of a couple who shouldn’t work but do. Nonetheless, I don’t buy the union of her environmental lawyer and his billionaire real estate tycoon. Nor do I buy the union of Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks in the similar pair-up of You’ve Got Mail. If relationships like that were believable, we wouldn’t have so much enjoyed the affair between Jack and C.C. on 30 Rock.
    10. The Graduate: Ben Braddock (Dustin Hoffman, again) and Elaine Robinson (Katherine Ross) - I always assumed it would ultimately bother Elaine too much that Ben had an affair with her mother. I guess if we’re to believe Buck Henry’s cameo in The Player, though, they live quite happily ever after … with Mrs. Robinson.

    Originally posted on:SpoutBlog

  • Iron Man Sells the Incredible Hulk. Clip of the Day

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    Under discussion:

    Iron Man  (2008)

    In what may be the greatest, albeit most exploitive, TV spot I’ve seen in awhile, Robert Downey Jr., as Tony Stark (aka Iron Man), shows up at the beginning of a new commercial for The Incredible Hulk. Of course we’ve known about the cameo for some time, mainly because nothing is safe from the “spoiler nation” of the Interweb, but most of us were probably not expecting to actually see it for real until the movie arrives in theaters (it opens Friday). I guess this is smarter than hiding the cameo after the end credits, a la Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) in Iron Man, in order to somewhat maintain denial even during the film’s theatrical run.

    Hopefully TV audiences won’t be fooled into thinking Downey has a bigger part in the film. In a way, the cameo seems to lift the prestige and appeal of The Incredible Hulk, yet it also really seems like a cheap ploy to get us excited about an otherwise crappy looking comic book movie. Still, it wouldn’t be the first time a movie unfairly sold itself on a cameo appearance. Highlander II: The Quickening (”starring” Sean Connery) comes to mind, for example. Actually, now that I’m comparing it to that film, I may be even less interested in The Incredible Hulk than before. Fortunately, if there’s any more to the Stark cameo than visible above, someone will put it up on YouTube for those of us who skip it.

    [via The Playlist]


    Originally posted on:SpoutBlog

  • He’s Lost Control: Sympathy For the Devil and Godard in 68

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    Sympathy for the Devil has a bad reputation. Like most of the work produced during Jean-Luc Godard’s so-called “revolution” period in the late-60s and 70s, it rarely screens without a disclaimer advertising its difficulty. The synopsis selling last month’s screening of the film at New York’s Film Forum (as part of a month long tribute to Godard’s work of the 1960s) was just 55 words long, but it managed to contain three red flag inferences of Sympathy’s “difficulty” (italics all mine): the “camera endlessly prowls,” it’s “shot in long, long takes,” it’s “deadening and hypnotic.” A Reverse Shot blog entry led off with the poster quote: “One helluva cocktease.”

    One million critics with a common case of blue balls can’t be entirely wrong, but writing off the film formerly known as One Plus One as a novelty from a filmmaker determined to be difficult (not to mention attempting to sell it by scaring the audience away) is a lot easier than actual engagement. Certainly, Sympathy is a provocation––political, formal, pop cultural––before it’s a coherent work of narrative drama; certainly, most of its most memorable moments involve juxtaposition of political critique with infantile sex farce. But the same could be said for the average YouTube video, and the kids seem to be able to eat those up without a warning label. If it comes off as impenetrable, it may just be because no penetration is needed––everything Godard wants to say is laid into the film’s surface. If anything, Sympathy for the Devil is a blatant (and, at times, blatantly transparent) cinematic flail from a filmmaker at a crisis point.

    As Richard Brody tells it in his recently-released Godard bio Everything is Cinema, Sympathy was an historical accident, Godard’s third scrape of the barrel in an attempt to make good on a contract with an English production company. After a “pro-abortion” polemic fell through when that city overturned the relevant law, Godard turned to the British music scene instead of its never-to-be-born youth, only settling on the Stones when the Beatles weren’t available (or, rather, when John Lennon declined to star In Godard’s proposed Trotsky biopic, and subsequently decided that the Beatles’ recording sessions were not to be filmed).

    Godard arrived in London to begin shooting Sympathy on May 30, 1968, after a fairly busy month. Though he initially planned to shoot in May, the production was pushed back whilst Godard inserted himself in the protests over the ouster of Henri Langois from the Paris Cinematheque, played a key role in the forced shitting down of that year’s Cannes film festival, and made a film about the student uprising in Paris with Philippe Garrel, which was stolen by a stranger immediately after it was finished. By the end of all that, the filmmaker (who, like the band, had first hand experience in making a living off of counterculture celebrity prior to the events of May––had been making up to $30,000 a month on the U.S. college circuit) no longer felt moved to document the Stones’ slice of the culture, but his British producers had every intention of holding him to his contract. The first four-day shoot began on June 1; Godard returned to London in August to shoot more, after having cranked out another film about the goings-on in Paris, A Film Like Any Other, in the interim.

    Feeling fundamentally changed by the events of the spring, Godard denounced old friends like Francois Truffaut and announced that he’d from then on he’d reinvent the way he made and thought about films. “Culture is an alibi of imperialism,” he told the Sunday Times at the time. “So we have to destroy culture.” Never a fan of Godard’s work or the French New Wave project at large, and eventually insistent that his hand-selected rival was nothing but a Situationist poser, this was the kind of Godardian statement that Guy Debord couldn’t ignore. In the 12th edition of the Situationist Internationale, published the following summer, Debord rolled his eyes thusly: “Godard, following the latest fashions as always, is adopting a destructive style just a blatantly plagiarized and pointless as all the rest of his work.” Where Godard insisted in its wake that May 68 had reenergized him and had made him more determined than ever to break ranks with the bourgeoisie, a year later Debord begged to differ. “Godard was in fact immediately outmoded [italics his] by the May 1968 revolt, which caused him to be recognized as a spectacular manufacturer of a superficial, pseudocritical, cooptive art rummaged out of the trashcans of the past.”

    I wouldn’t have gone to the trouble of digging up the relevant Debord quote if I didn’t think he had a point, but I do think his argument assumes that Godard had more control over his ability to express himself through craft in June of 1968 than I think physical evidence really suggests. The actual substance of Sympathy feels less violently destructive or precisely argumentative than unsure, immature. In the same Sunday Times interview, Godard said he wanted it to be “almost like an amateur” film; for better or worse, he succeeded.

    Structurally, the film is almost comically simple. Long shots of the Rolling Stones in the recording studio, tracked and pinned by Godard’s camera as they work through the arrangement of the song that gave the film its ultimate title, weave in and out of various staged tableau in which iconic images of the day’s political pop are propped up against its precepts, both word and image coming in for simultaneous reverence and rape. Why are the takes so long? Godard refused to do more than an assembly edit. The statement, from that interview with the Times, in which he boasts of his desired anti-professionalism: “I’m trying to make it as simple as possible, almost like an amateur film. The length of the takes are decided by Kodak––I’ve four or five choices of lengths of film available from them and I’m quite happy with that.”

    Is this punkish defiance, or is it laziness? Of course, the latter and a certain form of the former can travel in the same bundle, but this feels almost more like deliberate self-sabotage. Godard’s chosen title for the film was One Plus One, a reduction of his method of collage to the simplest possible equation. Aggressive indifference and obsession with process may simply be tactics towards the lowering of expectations. But the more notable artifact of Godard’s stated attempt to regress is evident in the film’s sense of humor. At virtually every turn, actual political critique is either subverted by or subsumed within a dick joke.

    Early on he introduces us to a band of black militants, who hang out in a dockyard full of broken down Fords and drive-in movie screens, a wasteland where the scraps of American culture are, as a upper-crust-English accented voiceover informs us, are a virus, like “spores spread to the west winds.” Soon this voiceover seems to consist of the wholesale reading of work of historically revisionist erotic fiction; if Debord had any airtight evidence that Godard’s “invention” was nothing but cut-rate Situationsim, it’s the literary softcore featuring Brezhnev and The Pope heard here. The militants themselves toss each other rifles whilst chanting Black Panther texts. At first we assume the guns are for use against The Man, but they turn out to be aids for the ritualized rape and murder of blonde white women. The most facile segment involves a reading of Mein Kampf in a titty mag boutique––it’s all just stuff to masturbate to, get it?

    And of course, the Stones themselves, just trying to make a little bit of rock n’ roll in the middle of this polemical hell, are the biggest dick joke of all. They’re the English rockstars known for their catchy tunes about one night stands, perfecting their anthem about the devil’s right place, right time role in political history. And for all his reluctance to actually give the Stones fan what it’s assumed that he wants, Godard must have gotten a kick out of Jagger’s lyrical finger-pointing: “Who killed the Kennedys? After all it was you and me.” Could there be a better symmetry for a film about the linking of political tragedy to desire? Sympathy for the Devil might have been too literal/commercial for Godard’s taste, but it’s the better, more evocative title in the end.

    The film’s highpoint, the section where Godard seems most on top of his powers, the zenith of Sympathy’s positing of crumbling revolution with sex farce, is the scene embedded above, known as the Eve Democracy sequence. Godard’s then-wife, Anna Wiazemsky, is hounded through a forest by a camera crew. The crew lob at Wiazemesky a series of increasingly obtuse questions and statements, to which Wiazemsky invariably responds with a simple yes or no. “Orgasm is the only moment where you can’t cheat life?” asks the interviewer. Wiazemsky appears to think about that for a moment, and then responds with a nod of her head, “Yes.” Her contemplation wasn’t merely acting, it was total illusion––the questions were being asked in English, which Wiazemsky didn’t speak, and Godard was off camera, giving her hand signals to suggest when she should say yes or no. According to Brody, it was not just a scene but a personal stunt, the director’s attempt at getting back at the obstinately uninterested in revolution Wiazemsky for refusing to appear in A Film Like the Others because she “did not share the ideology.”

    That Wiazemesky didn’t understand what she was saying no to is maybe the most powerful concrete idea contained in the entire film. It’s a parallel to the fair weather revolutionaries with whom Godard was, at that point, so frustrated. It also seems like an aggression against his own political impotence. At Cannes, he had made a speech including himself in the lament for the lack of “a single film showing the problems of the workers or students today.” His first attempt to rectify that lack, the film made with Garrel, was lost; his own lover refused to support him in its second attempt. The most compelling bit of his third attempt amounts to a public sex game with his newish wife, and that he’s able to con her into going along with it stands as his thinly veiled demonstration of male dominance. For all the talk of Godard’s talk of breaking from his cinematic concerns of the past, this is a direct extension of the real life/cinematic life game playing that marked his films with Anna Karina. Let it not be said that Godard completely abandoned his romantic project.


    Originally posted on:SpoutBlog

  • Werner Herzog and Bolivian Marching Powder

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    Can he do this? Is this legal? How does he do it? What interview questions does he ask? What does he tell publicists he’s going to do? Will any of them ever let him do it again?

    All of those questions, and surely more, are sparked by Jamie Stuart’s latest video, In Spring. Described as a tribute to Bunuel and Dali, it’s a highly stylized document of Stuart’s visit to the New York offices of embattled distributor THINKFilm to interview Werner Herzog about his latest film, Encounters at the End of the World. Except Herzog is playing “Gunter Merkwurdigeliebe, THINKfilm Chairman, CEO and President.” Except I don’t think he knows that. After the interview, Stuart’s voiceover inform us, his “crew took part in snorting lines of Grade A Bolivian cocaine with the executives,” an experience which led them to conclude that “the film industry is as solid and secure as ever.” Well, after all that, who wouldn’t?

    Watch it here.


    Originally posted on:SpoutBlog

  • Chickflicks and Chicks Ditch. Trade Roughage 06/08/08

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    Under discussion:

    Kung Fu Panda  (2008)

    • Kung Fu Panda made $60 million this weekend, 150% of the gross of the weekend’s number two film, You Don’t Mess With the Zohan. Sex and the City dropped 63% to fourth place; power blogger Peter Bart says its because the women of America spent the weekend atoning for the previous ten days of cosmo-steeped empowerment fantasies by bowing to the demands of their boyfriends and children. Which may not bode well for…
    • Chickflicks, a new indie production company headed by Sara Risher and Stephanie Austin, which will produce two or three films per year with women in mind. Risher, hooking the project to the success of Sex and the City, said “the underserved market for intelligent, emotional films with relatable female characters has spoken emphatically.” For one week, at least.
    • Meanwhile, Mongol, one of the very last films to come out under the Picturehouse banner, easily won the specialty race this weekend, with a per screen average of $26,627. Also: Bob Berney is apparently planning on going into business with unidentified pedestrians.

    Originally posted on:SpoutBlog