Earlier this month, Production Weekly reported that Alex Cox and David Lynch would begin shooting their Repo Man sequel, titled Repo Chick, next month. Fifteen years after the release of the first movie, Cox revealed that it’s a timely revisit, as the new movie will “unfold against the background of the credit crunch and the subprime mortgage crisis in the US, where repossessions of homes, cars and other forms of property is at a new high.”
Coupled with the recent announcement that John Carpenter is producing a remake of his own They Live, the news of a second Repo Man film has us wondering what other ‘80s cult classics should appropriately be remade or revisited now that the economy is shit again. Depending on your definition of “cult film” (many people call Ghostbusters a cult classic), some of the selected films may not be fitting for that term. Regardless, the following ten movies, if redone today, would have definite relevance to these troubled times.
Chu Chu and the Philly Flash (1981)
With unemployment on the rise, and homelessness sure to increase, it’s time for Hollywood to break out the ol’ Capra-esque stories of bums hitting the big time. Some films, such as Trading Places and Down and Out in Beverly Hills, don’t need to be touched. But this forgotten yet somewhat beloved movie could use a redo. Alan Arkin stars as an unemployed baseball player who may have a new job in the minors if he can only raise the money to get across the country. Fox could remake this story without retaining the title or the profession (though what’s more American Dream-like than baseball player? Capra employed the same idea in Meet John Doe), so as not to associate the new film with this ancient box office disappointment.
Eating Raoul (1982)
We recently spotlighted this “gold standard for black comedies” on a Thanksgiving-related list of cannibal movies. But it fits here as well. A couple in need of money ends up killing people and selling the corpses for cash. While the original film has the human meat sold to a dog food company, it might be even a greater gag in this financial crunch to have it feed the homeless. Or, better yet, in the U.S. Capitol’s cafeterias.
The Survivors (1983)
The opening premise alone will have the recently laid off feeling better about their own firing. One guy (played by Robin Williams) is let go by a parrot, while another (Walter Matthau) loses his business when it blows up. From there, anything goes with the remake as long as it still shows desperate measures resulting from unemployment. As a buddy movie, though, it’ll be worthwhile to pit a financial layoff with a blue-collar layoff.
Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo (1984)
Don’t say it makes no sense to remake a sequel without remaking the original. Nobody cares about the first Breakin’. Besides, Electric Boogaloo is the one that features the cliché plot involving a greedy real estate developer wanting to tear down a community center. And evil real estate developers and bankers ought to be making a comeback.
Rappin’ (1985)
If nobody wants to touch the sacred icon that is Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo, then here’s another hip-hop movie involving an evil real estate developer. Despite a similar cheesiness, it’s not nearly as celebrated, or remembered. A remake could right all the wrongs of the original, especially with regards to the rhymes.
The Goonies (1985)
Hardly a cult classic, sure, but it does have the feel of one, especially to all those people who take trips to Astoria, Oregon, just to visit the film’s locations. Anyway, more evil real estate developers here, and more kids trying to save the day. Rather than truly remake the movie, which would be met with disapproval, and rather than completely bypass the reunion sequel that’s been talked about for so long, Warner Bros. ought to make a separate remake-type sequel titled The Goonies Too. The new movie will simply follow another group of kids on another adventure that will similarly stop the impending foreclosure of their homes.
One Crazy Summer (1986)
Yeah, yeah, more greedy real estate developers. But this one involves saving the house of an old man who nobody in the audience cares about. And a regatta. Actually, without the warped genius of Savage Steve Holland and without John Cusack in the lead, a remake of this comedy would be pointless, even if relevant. Of course, it wouldn’t be the first time Hollywood made a pointless remake, right?
The Money Pit (1986)
It may not technically be a cult classic, but it’s so rarely celebrated for its good qualities (like the excellent scene involving a cataclysmic sort of Rube Goldberg machine) that it deserves to be here. Plus, few plots are more relevant to the subprime mortgage crisis than one involving a couple (played by Tom Hanks and Shelley Long) that finds a deal on a new home that’s too good to be true.
Wisdom (1986)
If a cult classic requires only a cult of one member, then Wisdom is a cult classic. And since every economic recession needs its own Robin Hood movie, this is ripe for a remake (never mind Ridley Scott’s forthcoming Nottingham). Repo Man star Emilio Estevez wrote, co-directed (with Robert Wise) and co-starred (with Demi Moore) in this Bonnie and Clyde tale of a pair of bank “robbers” who bomb bank file cabinets in order to erase records of loans and mortgages, thereby helping out the struggling debtors. This time, though, it’s key that the main characters don’t get killed.
Hiding Out (1987)
Jon Cryer stars as a stockbroker on the run from mobsters he’s cheated. Does he flee to Florida and join an all-girl band? No, he shaves off his beard and magically becomes a teenager again. Then he reenrolls in his cousin’s high school and falls in love with a young girl who’d probably get him in worse trouble than he is already in. A remake of this film could be more depraved, more American Psycho than Some Like it Hot, by having the protagonist on the run from the government rather than the mob (he’s guilty of insider trading or some other form of Wall Street corruption), and his unlikable traits would extend to his multiple affairs with minors while pretending to be a high school student. And this time, it’s key that the main character does get killed.
Originally posted on:
SpoutBlog