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Under discussion:

Bob Roberts  (1992)

The Candidate  (1972)

Citizen Kane  (1941)

Mr. Smith Goes to Washington  (1939)

Nixon  (1995)

Wag the Dog  (1997)

Primary Colors  (1998)

Election  (1999)

The Contender  (2000)

Recount  (2008)

Are you walking around with your “I Voted!” sticker proudly adhered to your chest? If not, get out there and do some lever pulling, chad punching, and ballot dropping. Then take the rest ofthe day off and watch one of these movies that’ll get you through the rest of election day and away from the nail-biting edge of election return coverage. There are a few minor spoilers inside, but don’t view that as me messing with the ballot box. You’ll still love the movies more than CNN’s infographics.

Citizen Kane

Yes, it’s the grandaddy at the top of every “best of” list, but people don’t really think of it as an election film. However, there’s an election right in the heart of it. Charles Foster Kane runs for the governorship of New York, and has a good chance of winning until he’s at the heart of a scandal involving a woman and the incumbent governor, Boss Jim W. Gettys. His campaign speech in front of the enormous poster of himself is one of the most iconic images from the film, and also the turning point for his ultimate fall from grace in the film.

The Candidate

Robert Redford’s darkly comic film about a race for one of the California senate seats shows how volatile and tupsy-turvy politics can be. Peter Boyle is supposed to find someone to unseat a popular Republican Senator, but know that they are so far ahead it won’t matter who he gets. Eventually he goes after the extremely unlike candidate Bill McKay, played by Redford, and tells him it doesn’t matter what he does, he’s going to lose. So he’s free to do what he wants on the campaign trail. However, he finally decides he doesn’t want to go down by a landslide and fights back, eventually even winning the race. In the famous scene at the end, Redford finds Boyle and asks, “What do we do now?” America might very well be asking that question tomorrow.

The Contender

Joan Allen has had a couple of brushes with the White House. She played first lady Pat Nixon in Oliver Stone’s Nixon, for which she received an Academy Award nomination, and inThe Contender she plays a Democratic senator from Ohio who becomes the new Vice-Presidential nominee when the President (Jeff Bridges) has his own VP die while in office. It’s a well-acted exploration of sexual politics, and revolves around an event that may or may not have happened to Allen’s character in college. Gary Oldman vamps it up as a congressman who blocks Allen’s appointment, Jeff Bridges make a terrific president and Sam Elliot is a wonderfully hardassed Chief of Staff, but it’s really Joan Allen who amazes in this film.

Bob Roberts

Tim Robbins’ film about a folksy Pennsylvania senate candidate who learns how to manipulate the system was actually based on a Saturday Night Live sketch from 1986 featuring Robbins as the same character. It’s full of twangy music, borrows heavily from Bob Dylan, and turns sinister towards the end with a possibly faked assassination attempt that puts Roberts in office. The songs are the most memorable part of the film, although the soundtrack was never released because Tim Robbins didn’t want the songs to be played out of context. Like… as a John McCain rally song, which would have sent Robbins into fits of apoplexy.

Election

It might take place in the halls of high school, but it’s a snapshot not just of the formative years of teenager, but of the entire political process as well. Easily Reese Witherspoon’s best film, her evil and vindictive Tracy Flick isn’t someone you want to cross, or even run against. Although if your opponent is the sickly sweet Chris Klein (who even votes for Tracy), then you don’t really have to worry about competition. Matthew Broderick desperately tries to stop her rise to power, which provides some of the funniest moments in the film, including a recount scandal that rivals the Bush/Gore election.

Mr. Smith Goes To Washington

They don’t make films like this anymore, and Washington would certainly never give us an ending this neat and clean, but it’s one of Jimmy Stewart’s most endearing roles and it’s still inspirational some 50 years later. It has the best filibuster ever on film, although the confessional moment at the end would never happen in today’s political climate. Stewart’s Smith is still the kind of character you can get behind and root for today, and should probably be required viewing upon assuming any office in D.C.

Primary Colors

Based on the book that was inspired by Bill Clinton’s first presidential campaign in 1992, John Travolta actually does a decent job as a southern governor running for office in this Mike Nichols film. It’s hard to believe that it’s been 10 years since this movie came out, although it was a bit too late to ride on the coattails of the book two years earlier. When the novel came out by “Anonymous” (later revealed to be journalist Joe Klein) it was on everyone’s lips. Besides Travolta’s Clinton impersonation, the movie didn’t generate nearly as many waves. Still, it’s worth watcing on this Election Tuesday, if nothing other than to tweak your nostalgia circuit.

Wag the Dog

This movie is mostly terrific for Dustin Hoffman’s excellent Robert Evans impersonation throughout the movie. He plays a Hollywood producer brought in by De Niro’s political spin doctor character to create a fake war in order to distract from the President’s ongoing sex scandal. It proves to be ridiculously successful, and is loosely based on Larry Beinhart’s novel American Hero. Although in the book the president is George H.W. Bush, and the war Opeation Desert Storm. Still, it works a bit better as a dark comedy rather than being based on actual events, although Beinhart’s book is well worth reading.

Nixon

I wasn’t originally a fan of this Oliver Stone movie, but it’s been playing on cable a lot the past month, and I usually end up watching it whenever I flip channels. Anthony Hopkins’ portrayal of Nixon is incredibly intricate, showing both his paranoid side, and his detached loneliness. As Paul Sorvino’s Henry Kissinger in the film says, “Can you imagine what this man would be like had anyone ever loved him?” It’s also a slap the the face to W, which doesn’t even feel like an Oliver Stone movie. Nixon has teeth, W is a softball. Probably one of Hopkins’ meatiest roles as an actor, and the DVD version with 28 minutes of extra footage will get you through the entire night.

Recount

When HBO announced this film, I remember cringing and thinking “Won’t the controversy ever go away? It’s like pouring salt in an open wound!” Then I saw the movie, and I loved it. However, I can’t watch it all the way through because I get incredibly angry whenever I see it. Forget about what would have happened if Nixon was loved. What about what our country would be like now if Gore had been elected. How different would things be now? Would we be at war? Would the economy be in the toilet? We’ll never know, but this film really gives you a hard look at the process that put Bush in office, and how full of holes (and dangling chads) it really is.

Under discussion:

Gilda  (1946)

Che  (2008)

Che director Steven Soderbergh recently told Anne Thompson that his eyebrow-raising 3D musical about Cleopatra is going to be tonally inspired by Gilda, King Vidor’s 1946 noir starring Rita Hayworth. Which is … interesting.

Obviously, Gilda is not really a musical. Hayworth performs a couple of memorable numbers in the film, such as the “Put The Blame on Mame” scene above, but these numbers don’t musicalize the narrative or advance the plot within the number, as much as they comment on the subtext of the relationships. The performances themselves (particularly in the case of “Mame”) become plot points, and they’re only naturalized within the non-musical narrative because the Gilda character is a professional nightclub singer. The vampy (yet cheery!) performance style is dictated by the fact that the character is using her stage persona to say things that she can’t put into words in a normal conversation. It’s difficult to imagine what Soderbergh means when he suggests that he’s going to apply this tone to the story of Cleopatra. Does he simply mean his characters will sing their feelings while the book tells the story? Or is he actually going to try to duplicate that staginess literally, maybe by going for the Chicago “It’s all a fantasy!” gambit, which would allow an Egyptian queen to have an active inner life as a chorus girl?

Regardless of which way it swings or what he really means, it’s hard to imagine anything taken from Gilda being directly compatible with the music of Guided by Voices who, according to Variety, have already written the songs (sometime GbV bassist Jim Greer also wrote the screenplay). I imagine that once Hugh Jackman and Catherine Zeta-Jones get their jazz hands on the material it won’t look or sound much like the defiantly lo-fi and often inscrutable Guided by Voices of old (see below), but in this time of global turmoil I’d rather just bunker up with my memories of the 90s until the inevitable disappointment is shoved in my face.

Under discussion:

12 Monkeys  (1995)

Independence Day  (1996)

Mars Attacks!  (1996)

Armageddon  (1998)

Deep Impact  (1998)

The Day After Tomorrow  (2004)

Wall-E  (2008)

Before you go to the polls today, you need to understand where the candidates stand on the really big issues. No, I don’t mean silly stuff like the economy. I mean the issues that threaten to plunge the world into an era of scorched, apocalyptic savagery. Sure, an ongoing war in the Middle East and gradual climate change are kind of scary, but how will Obama and McCain respond to the threats that can wipe out 99% of humanity overnight? These are dire times, and doomsday cinema has made one thing clear: this will probably be our last president before Armageddon sweeps from sea to shining see, so we’d better choose wisely.

After the jump we look at where the candidates stand on the issues, from Alien Invasion to Zombie Plague.

Near Earth Object Collision

The possibility of a near Earth object (such as a huge comet or meteor) striking Earth and wiping out all life has been used films like Deep Impact and Armageddon, and it’s actually quite possible. It’s unlikely to happen in the next four years, but over the next several millennia, a devastating impact event is very likely. It doesn’t hurt to be prepared. Under which administration would we be least likely to be burned to a crisp when the big one hits?

• Obama: BarackObama.com has a .PDF available for download describing the candidate’s positions on issues pertaining to science and innovation. It’s pretty hard to find, the document is filed under the “Additional Issues” section of the website. There’s plenty of good stuff in there, but NASA, the organization most likely to be watching out for huge rocks in the sky, is only mentioned in a very small paragraph on the second to last page. The points are rather general, along the lines of “make it better.”
• McCain: JohnMcCain.com is much more explicit in outlining the candidate’s policies on space. While he doesn’t mention detection of near Earth objects, he does set aside a paragraph to explain why expensive and dangerous manned space missions are important. He says they exhibit courage and are illustrative of America’s status as a superpower.
• Who comes out on top? I’d have to say McCain. Preventing human extinction in the event of an interstellar impact requires two things: One, preparedness in the form of early warnings and sufficient response technology. And two, the balls to do something about it. While Obama’s commitment to increase basic research funding over the next ten years will help us be prepared, McCain’s fighter pilot instincts and commitment to put men aboard insanely suicidal space missions is essential. Both Deep Impact and Armageddon feature astronauts (who are often just exceptional fighter pilots) making the ultimate sacrifice to save innocent lives.

Biological Terrorism

Remember that scene in 12 Monkeys where the crazy scientist/terrorist is going through airport security with vials of a super-virus he engineered to wipe out the human race, and the security guard seems only mildly curious before letting him pass? While the TSA seems mostly useless, a biological attack certainly wouldn’t be that easy now. That said, we’re still not even close to being safe from the threat of viruses that melt flesh, turn people into savage killers, or transform humanity into flesh-hungry zombies. What are the candidates going to do to protect us from these threats?

• Obama: In the aforementioned .PDF on science policy, Obama laments that under the Bush administration “DARPA has retreated from its traditional commitment to invest in long-term, high-risk, high-return research.” Translation: let’s put money into technology that will protect us from far-out, freaky, sci-fi shit. This includes “microsystems, nanotechnology, … synthetic biology, and advanced manufacturing.” So not only will we be prepared for a biological strike, we’ll have a garrison of mech warriors up and running by 2012.
• McCain: National security is seen as a strong issue for McCain. Indeed, his ideas about tightening border security seem practical and effective, especially keeping a closer eye on the contents of the millions of shipping containers that enter our ports every year. He also has an interesting, and very Republican, idea about involving the private sector in disaster response. True, FedEx is better at tracking shipments than FEMA, but in the event of a contagious zombie plague, the last place you’ll want to go is WalMart, unless you’re planning on looting chainsaws, shotguns, and football pads.
• Who comes out on top? I may be going against conventional wisdom here, but I’ve got to say Obama. Super secret DARPA funding will lead to technologies that will not only save us, but will totally kick ass. In all seriousness, though, Obama’s willingness to actually talk to the people who are mad at us convinces me he’ll be more effective at stopping terrorism.

Alien Invasion

A staple of science fiction for well over a century, an attack from outer space would be the ultimate test for a president. The goal here is to be like Bill Pullman’s inspiring President Whitmore from Independence Day, and nothing like Jack Nicholson’s corrupt President Dale from Mars Attacks!.

• Obama: Obama’s increased funding of science research and DARPA, as mentioned above, would be helpful. But his charisma and diplomatic tact will have little affect on a superior race that views humanity as little more than a colony of pests.
• McCain: McCain’s strength on defense and his priority on manned space missions would make militarized space flight a reality within a few short years. Unlike terrestrial conflicts, we might benefit from the Republican shoot first, ask questions later defense policy. A full-scale invasion of Earth would take a considerable amount of planning. Under a McCain administration, those flying saucers performing reconnaissance missions would be quickly destroyed, sending a powerful message back to Alpha Centuri: Don’t mess with us.
• Who comes out on top? McCain, hands down. Bill Pullman’s President Whitmore practically is John McCain. They’re both decorated fighter pilots from Vietnam. And I’m sure McCain would jump back in the cockpit if humanity needed him.

Environmental Calamity

From The Day After Tomorrow to Wall-E, environmental disasters are common in film. An essential element in these tales is hubris on the part of the world leaders, who don’t act until it’s far too late. Since Al Gore is not running this year, which candidate is better prepared to prevent the world from filling up with trash and toxic gas?

• Obama: I’ve got to give Obama credit because his environmental policies actually deal with something beyond climate change and energy independence, issues like mercury, air pollution, and water shortages. Of course curbing greenhouse gas emissions is the big enchilada, and his plan seems pretty good. It’s also almost identical to McCain’s plan, at least that’s my impression after perusing each candidate’s website.
• McCain: McCain’s cap and trade plan to address greenhouse gases looks pretty good (which, considering the record of his party, is a tremendous compliment). One discrepancy is that McCain seems more willing to offer free carbon credits to certain industries that could be stifled by a cap and trade system (like big oil). Neither site is very clear on how such exceptions would be granted.
• Who comes out on top? Obama, but in a way, it’s a shame. The Democrats pretty much always have a leg up on the Republicans when it comes to the environment, and that’s never been truer than in the last eight years. But this is one issue where McCain’s claim that he would be nothing like Bush is totally legit. As far as Republicans go, McCain is actually pretty green, but Obama still edges him out. Hopefully McCain represents a new kind of Republican, because preventing an ecological apocalypse will require bipartisan effort. If not, we’d better start building a huge spaceship and an adorable little robot to clean up after us.

Conclusion: Well, it looks like a tie. Whichever candidate wins, things are looking up in my opinion. Now all we need to do is stave off World War III until January 20.