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SlipOfTheTongue Blog

  • Look out! It's a reverential re-make!

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    King Kong  (2005)

    It sucks being a guy.  They bite you, shoot at you, gas you, knock you down, strangle you, tear at your flesh and finally shoot at you again (this time causing you to fall off a tall building), all while you are trying to protect your girlfriend!  How f***'d up and belligerant a world we must live in for mankind to create this movie about a giant gorilla with whom we must empathize because most of the human race is so opportunistic and knee jerk violent.  

    Jackson's remake can be thrilling but unfortunately here are the drawbacks...too long, too bloated, too much CGI, feels like a Universal Studios ride.  Not enough grace.  Not enough wit.  Not enough artistry.  Not enough true scares.  Jack Black is the wrong note.  Really wrong.  Mealy mouthed writer as our only human protagonist?  I like Adrian Brody, but are we really supposed to root for this character? 

    However...here are the positives.  Depression era Manhattan glows.  It's beautiful.  There are some good scares.  And the chemistry between a CG Kong and Naomi Watts is at times genuinely moving...the heart of a movie that is really only about one thing...how the world can crush your dreams and tear you and your loved ones apart (metaphorically speaking).  

    If only the artistry on display in the love scenes between Watts and Kong could be found in the rest of the film, then we'd have ourselves a real picture!

  • atmospheric 40's chiller

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    Rich with atmosphere and rife with racial tension, I Walked WIth A Zombie is not really terrifying so much as atmospheric.  There are long dark pathways, scary crossroads and voodoo temples in this pic.  The best thing about it is a very tall native with the most terrifying eyes.  All of this doesn't amount to much but it's fun to feel your skin crawl along the way.

  • overly conceptualized horror yields middling results

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    Land of the Dead  (2005)

    What is it about aging filmmakers who seem to lose their chops over time?  I am a huge George Romero fan but this installment feels like it was shot on the streets of Toronto and on soundstages rather than in an American city.  Heck, I'd love it if L.O.T.D. had the honest, low budget, gritty feel of the first three films but instead it feels like something made for the sci-fi channel.

    The film is so overly "conceptualized".  Ok I get it!  They can think now!  So will you scare me please?  Or how about a laugh or two?  How about some pointed satire?  The creeping dread evident in the first two...the over the top, screeching, amateur low budget zeal of the third film...I just don't get any of that here.  The first three never gave way to such didacticism, such humorless point making, such soul emptying boredom as in this final installment.  If you want a slick modern zombie movie try Zack Snyder's Dawn of the Dead instead.  There I said it.  And that is from a Romero fan. 


  • should be scary, but isn't

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    Pulse  (2006)

    Non-distinct monosaturated ghouls jump from WIFI and computer into the lives of four idiotic college students.  Ian Somerhalder (always over his head with shirt on, rarely over his head with shirt off) has all the exposition.  His character is jammed "round peg in square hole" into this everything including the kitchen sink (except clarity, chills, or imagination) horror/thriller.  This has the stink of a bad director all over it.

  • kind of creepy and definitely very odd

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    Jody Foster is an old soul and fascinating to watch.  The camera lurks about her in close up as she flirts and plays with the other principles in this low budget 1970's affair.  The movie is very slow, kind of creepy, and is really more of a curiosity than a good time.  The dialogue is pretty self conscious and yet, it's Jodie having a dark old time.  How can you look away?  Foster is best when she is either being menaced or menacing others.  Along with a pervy Martin Sheen in this film she does both.

  • Project Greenlight meets amateur horror filmmaker

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    Feast  (2006)

    Typically overambitious young filmmaker (is he a USC grad or does he just seem like one?) tries to blend styles and tones to painfully mixed results.  The film has a few moments but ultimately not satisfying on any level.  Don't be fooled...the low budget is no excuse.  Rent Evil Dead to see what can be done with a single location.

 

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