robertsmor Blog by robertsmor

Not bad at all!

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Eyes Wide Shut (1999)

I think there are two criteria for being able to appreciate Eyes Wide Shut: 1) having been in a serious, long-term relationship and 2) realizing that the entire narrative is a dream. From the title to the fact that it was based on Traumnovelle, literally Dream Novel, makes the entire film make a hell of a lot more sense, turning it from a slightly confusing film to a highly interesting meditation on desire, fidelity and opportunity. And the boobies are nice too.

Posted Thursday, January 24, 2008 12:27 PM by robertsmor | with 0 comments

Wrong turn...wrong wrong wrong

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They Came Back (2004)

Leave it to the French to make the world's first pretentious zombie movie. A zombie with angst?! C'mon! I'm surprised Campillo didn't have them penning somber poetry by the Sienne whilst nibbling a brioche.

Posted Wednesday, January 23, 2008 12:00 PM by robertsmor | with 0 comments

That synopsis tain't right!

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Lumiere (1995)

Alright...well...the synopsis given above is totally wrong. Lumiere is a wonderful hodgepodge of 20 or so directors, each given a working replica of the Lumiere brothers original movie camera, given three rolls of film (each around a minute long), and told to go out and shoot something. They can utilize in-camera cuts only. No post editing. So...the results are wonderfully mixed with Lynch's being one of the most amazing. He crams a typical Lynchian story into a tiny package that will make you say "how the hell did he do that?" One of the best examples of how to waste an opportunity like this is Spike Lee's short. It consists of a static shot of his then infant-son Satchel. You know...if I were given a Lumiere camera I bet I could film ANYTHING more interesting that a friggin' home movie of my kid! Bottom line: Really interesting, hit-or-miss collection showing what some of your favorite directors can do when they're REALLY limited.

Posted Wednesday, January 23, 2008 8:45 AM by robertsmor | with 0 comments

Watch for the waterfall!

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Anaconda (1997)

A true quilty pleasure...made when they were still working the kinks out of CGI, meaning the snake doesn't always work. But I love the Cube and Jon Voight chews the scenery like he's got Richard Kiel's teeth from Moonraker! And...watch for my favorite shot...the boat is pulling out of the lagoon and the waterfall miraculously is flowing UP! Ahh...ain't it great when a Hollywood production forgets to get a simple shot that an A.D. could pick up and they have to resort to reversing existing footage! I love moments like the waterfall. Keep your eyes peeled kids!

Posted Wednesday, January 23, 2008 8:15 AM by robertsmor | with 0 comments

Idiot Savant Film!

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Troll II (1992)

Without a doubt the most fun I've had laughing at my tv screen in ages. Plan 9's got nothin' on this little number. The scene where the boy stops his family from eating evil food by urinating on it is tops (alright...they don't actually show it...but it's oh so implied). Truly a masterwork of nothing working. Sublime in its ineptitude!

Posted Wednesday, January 23, 2008 8:08 AM by robertsmor | with 0 comments

The Yin to Spirit of the Beehive's Yang...

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Pan's Labyrinth (2006)

Here's a fun double feature...Pan's Labyrinth and Spirit of the Beehive (1973-Victor Erice).

Both deal with young girls coming to grips with death through monstrous and fantastic events and images.

It's like the two films are opposite sides of the same coin.

Posted Wednesday, January 23, 2008 7:43 AM by robertsmor | with 0 comments

So confused

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The Stepford Wives (2004)

So...are they androids or are they humans with chips in their heads? The flick gives us both options but doesn't decide which to go with. Is this just sheer laziness on Oz's part or did he not realize the huge plot problem? Either way...Frank baby...quit smoking that Muppet fur!

Posted Tuesday, January 22, 2008 2:49 PM by robertsmor | with 0 comments

Damn shame...

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Howard the Duck (1986)

If only the producers would've mined the wealth of satiric genius found in the original comic this would be a much-loved instead of a much hated flick. Where's Pro-Rata the Financial Wizard?! The Kidney Lady?! The Space Turnip?! Dr. Bong (no...not that kind of bong...he's got a bell for a head which he hits with his metallic clapper hands)?! Talk about a massive missed opportunity.

Only Michael Bey could've f***** it up more.

Posted Tuesday, January 22, 2008 2:40 PM by robertsmor | with 0 comments

One of my top five

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Alien (1979)

Without a doubt one of my top five horror films of all time! Yes, I know it takes place in space and some would say it's technically science fiction but let's face it...this is the old dark house in outer space. The distance the characters keep with each other (save for Parker and Brett), the worn out look of the Nostromo, the pitch perfect pace of the film not to mention the excellent score are all fantastic. But the real reason this is a true classic is that it changed the look of monsters forever. Try to think of a non-human monster after 1979 that didn't somehow resemble Giger's creation. Cheney doesn't count. Roberts out!

Posted Tuesday, January 22, 2008 1:53 PM by robertsmor | with 0 comments

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