Four Eyed Monsters
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An inordinate number of peppers

  • It has ULTRA-PANAVISION.

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    Khartoum  (1966)

    My friend Tom had this one and I was intrigued. 

    Charlton HestonLaurence Olivier. 

    That's interesting.

    Olivier as a Sudanese holy man, off to cleanse the city of Christian influence while terrorizing the middle east as far as Constantinople.  

    Wow. Sounds interesting.

     Charleton Heston as a right wing anti-slavery hero in some of the coolest costumes ever fabricated from in the bowels of filmdom.

     Neat. 

    Really neat-o sets full of oriental fabrics and more cool uniforms that look just this side of Star Trek.

    Rock on. 

    And it's a true story.

     Say no more.

     All the same it took me 4 tries to get through it. It's a long one and has all the quirks of a modern production of Shakespeare. 

    (the reverence for the facts is a bit too plain to come off as truth. This is propaganda.)

    It has ULTRA-PANAVISION.

    Listen, It's a yawner period piece, but way cool to look at. So make up your own minds. 


  • slow and stiff but smart

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    Puzzlehead  (2005)

    I love this script although the movie is oddly paced. It has some lovely photography, but the acting is flat (and not in a Hal Hartley way). It depends on the neutrality of voices to carry certain ambiguities along. There are many marvelously sophisticated inversions. The emotional setups are turned on their head. A satisfying exploration of the nature of consciousness. Intelligent Sci-Fi.

  • Man, those cars were cool

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    Death Proof  (2007)

    What can I say. I'm a sucker for this. I grew up on those drive-in car movies. Vanishing Point was my favorite film. It's like a spaghetti western in it's set up, it's long slow pans torn apart by speed and flash. Exciting. 

    Here is the ultimate scenario for any film lover, the director who'll rewrite your memories for you as a sly nudge and wink. There is the "Driving while bleeding" scene, the custom hood ornament shot, the shoulder squeeze, stunts I know so well, the sex as car crash, the violence as answer. 

    In the end, all those movies shared that quality, that violence was the only way to resolve the situation. Whether it's I Spit on Your Grave or Death Race 2000, somehow violence lends a sinister edge to the race.

    In a car movie, you fear the crash because of the silence which follows. In car movies, the noise of engines is the stuff of life, all it's rage, it's mania for living.  

    I remember Corvette Summer was nearly as cool as Star Wars. I remember that film with William Shatner (or was it Lee Majors?) driving a van in search of fuel in some post apocalyptic California. Driving across the nuclear wastelands. 

    I remember Damnation Alley. So many great movies targeted spot on our fears and passions. 

    Now it's the stuff of rehash, but there is something so enervating in Tarantino's meta-narrative, that I forgive myself for liking it as much as I do. There must always be this feeling of the little guy rising up and destroying the oppressor. Just so for a moment, we might shrug off our own fears and just shine who we are. 

    Exploitation films serve a valuable purpose. They are the antidote to social ills at times just for putting a face to things that go unspoken, unrepresented. 

    But all the same, the stunt girl spreads her legs on the hood of a white charger and the the black charger keeps ramming from behind. Holy crap, that's good cinema. 


  • My first movie on Joost

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    It's hard to review a film these days without talking about how you saw it. Well, I'm beta testing Joost and I must say, this first pass at internet tv is interesting. It has the pretty commercial fare you might expect, lots of commercials and top 40 music videos. But these things always have some piece of the long tail in their grips and sure enough, there are a few interesting movies for free in there. Paramount Pictures has a channel in there and The Little Prince is in there.

    Cool. I've always wanted to see it. If I don't fall asleep, I'll sit here and watch it. It streams pretty well, with just a few hiccups. Looks like HP has something to do with it all. The video quality is fantastic, but it does stall now and again. I suspect it is interrupting itself loading a commercial (which are discrete and certainly no worse than the thing on tv. I'd say it's generally not so distracting. Otherwise, the experience is rather pleasant. 

    I look forward to evaluating the Democracy player soon and seeing what it affords as well.

    My first impression suggests that Joost is on to something and is likely to be a really cool thing if everyone plays nice. 


  • The first note passing love affair?

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    Stolen Kisses  (1968)

    I suppose I missed the connection when I first saw Four-Eyed Monsters. I don't think it diminishes my opinion of FEM to have recalled that this wasn't completely original. Why not pay homage to Truffaut? I love Truffaut but am only now warming up to the rest of the Antoine Doinel series. I mean, it kind of falls apart. It becomes a wink and a nudge like Ocean's 13. 

    But what I keep recalling is the scene in Bed and Board (1970) when, just for an instant, Claude Jade is overpoweringly beautiful. Despite everything that goes wrong for them in their relationship, her beauty is paralyzing.  

    Her character is pregnant already, although neither of them know it yet. He asks for the toothpaste, she tosses it to him out the window and gives the thumbs up.

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    Domestic bliss.

     

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    But that frame before the thumbs up is the one that sticks with me.

    He can do nothing but love her, despite everything. He is smitten. And just for that audacious moment, so are we. Claude Jade standing in a window. 


  • I waited too long to review this

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    13 Tzameti  (2005)

    What can I say. Some movies you have to review in the heat of it to catch any of the excitement the movie generated. But this one cooled off quick. In retrospect, movies always tend to feel a little overly technical, like a magic trick that won't stand a second viewing. 

    I know very well that I enjoyed watching this film, but it fails to sustain my interest further down the road. It was fun while it lasted I guess.

    I wanted to see it because I like game movies. Movies like Cube or Croupier. I don't mind a little blood. Especially in black and white. Blood shocks me more in black and white if it's done well. So this feels like an academic rehash of Hong Kong action cranked to ten and given an infusion of Beckett and Tarentino. The results come off a little stiff and bleak. It's emotional arc seemed a little overly predictable and yet not entirely convincing.

    I say I liked it because it was hard to get this kind of story wrong. We all know the rules, so we can kick back and see what happens. Memento did this well. Lars Von Trier does this well. 

    The director is clearly talented, but needs to loosen up and let it roll a bit more. It's well shot and spotless technically. They know what they are doing. For that I give them 4 stars. 


 


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