Wheeee-hew! Somebody open a window! I've let out farts that smell better than this. There is nothing positive to say about this, so let's get to the dirt, quoted verbatim from the aformentioned http://bloodgutsandgore.com from its original post over a year ago:
"Wow. That’s the first thing I thought of to say about this movie. I’m no Roger Ebert but I’ve watched a lot in my time and I can safely say that this is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. I can usually dig low-grade fare but this feature was so very sub-par it’s clear it was made with the same budget one would reserve for going to Dunkin’ Donuts. The entire thing is grainier than any home movie ever was, the acting was abominable and the production values were below those of even the campiest 50s monster flick. Not one likeable or sympathetic character exists and you find yourself not caring one bit about who lives and dies. A government project to create a more savage way of killing is kept in a containment situated in an abandoned house in a normal suburban neighborhood. Supervised by one guy, the creature that manages to look hokier than even a Halloween costume accidentally kills him and thereby has free reign of the place. The cheesy and atrocious acting talents of the four living snacks for the creature would be amusing if it weren’t so sad. It looks as though an aspiring film student with no knowledge of how to make a movie grabbed his camcorder and set out to make a hopeless, flaccid sci-fi slash horror flick. The very lowness of the quality of the entire product from the risible premise to the dazzlingly feeble acting, cinematography and editing utterly amazes me that junk like this could have been made in these modern times. Watch and be very amazed that it ever saw the light of day and do your best to keep in mind that somebody actually paid for this, that these guys were given money to put this together. What they ever hoped to accomplish, what they ever wanted this movie to do or to mean is one of the great mysteries of cinema.
"I’m not done – I just felt like starting a new paragraph. The film has an MPAA rating, which means that an organization such as they actually watched this and didn’t destroy it on sight. In the scene selection menu, the caption for chapter 2 says Connie. The name of the creature is Carnie. You can plainly hear this, yet the title says Connie. The thank-you list is a jaw-dropping long one with over thirty people/companies/corporations that I find wholly unbelievable were parties to this. It stuns, simply stuns, that it could take that many people to create this mess. I’ve tried, boy I’ve tried, yet I can’t strain myself to figure what there ever could have been for that many people to do, the film looking like not even four people were involved (four people who were apathetic about the idea at that), and maybe that’s true. Maybe they wanted to impart some semblance of cooperation and make it look like they could find others to share in their incompetence. There was some weakly sentimental drivel about thanks to those whose undying dedication and love (or something) made this film a reality. Whatever possibly went wrong to make this a reality should be banned from appearing in public and/or ever picking up a camera or other piece of filmmaking equipment again. The Special Features list on the back cover is a completely shameless fabrication: Director’s Commentary – on something like this? “Carnivore Kills!” Featurette? That would tell what? There was nothing about the production that wasn’t terribly clear (or just terrible) and there could be nothing additional that would make this more interesting. Wide-screen Presentation is a total joke and the Trailer is just nowhere to be seen. Optional Spanish Subtitles aren’t even there, the only guaranteed items being the Scene Selection and “Interactive Menus.” I don’t apologize for my lengthy griping because I feel compelled by my sense of duty to my readers to clue them in to what is in my own estimation one of the very worst films yet made.
"The mathematical AR was four, but the grungy, useless feeling that pervades this miserable exercise in bad filmmaking tears it down to a 3. Note that out of the enormous body of films reviewed for this site that this is the only case where I’ve knocked a rating down because it was just that bad.
"I recently discovered, long after writing this originally (this is in fact a re-visit), that it was done in 1989 and shelved for 11 years. eleven…years. Probably because it was buried under an accumulated shell of dust and rat feces and was discovered only because someone lost a bet and had to clean the vault. Unfortunately it’s here now and we have to deal with it. Or it could be like anything else, any other egregious mistake: you can hide it for only so long and eventually, no matter how intently you try to cover it up, your soul will crave confession and the resultant purity will set you free. Thus, I guess, it was necessary to drag this out to clear the filmmakers’ dirtied consciences in hopes for redemption. All I can say is that I hope it worked."