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  • Looks like I've got some catching up to do

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    Sorry to all my readers (hello?) for neglecting this blog...it's been a rough season. I have manage to finally update my website, letsnotlisten.com, though, so for now you can kindly head there if you're interested in seeing what I had to say the past couple of months.

    Hope to get back in the groove with this after the holidays, and at least post my top-10 in a timely fashion.

    Until then, happy moviegoing. It's a great time of the year! 


  • The Jane Austen Book Club

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    By Tricia Olszewski

     

    Hugh Dancy and Maria Bello trade literary enthusiasms.
    Hello. I'd like to trade in my testicles, please.



    It is a truth universally acknowledged that a movie in possession of a title such as The Jane Austen Book Club will be in want of a male audience. Based on a novel of the same name, the Robin Swicord-written and -directed film is exactly what you'd expect it to be: It's breezy one moment, somber the next, and, of course, full of women, sentimentality, and reaction shots of dogs. And when each showing lets out, it's likely there won't be a long line at the men's room.


    The somewhat interesting idea of Karen Joy Fowler's novel is that real people can find in Austen parallels to and guidance for their own lives. But it's a gimmick that was set up to fail. Go too deep with the theory, and you risk alienating viewers who aren't Janeites. Skimp on it, and there's little else to differentiate the story from countless other romantic comedies. Swicord, a first-time feature director, decided on the latter, offering characters and plot turns whose resemblances to Austen are often too superficial to be recognizable.


    Five women and one man comprise the titular Sacramento book club, and each is a shameless type. Bernadette (Kathy Baker) is the organizer of the group and its eldest member, a currently single, freewheeling sort who's been married as often as Austen published. (That'd be six times.) Sylvia (Amy Brenneman) has just been dumped by her husband (Jimmy Smits) of two decades. Sylvia's daughter, Allegra (Maggie Grace), is a lesbian and extreme-sport enthusiast who immediately clashes with Prudie (Emily Blunt), a young, snooty high-school-French teacher with a severe black bob and an unhappy marriage. And Jocelyn (Maria Bello), the arguable focus of the story, is Sylvia's best friend, a never-married dog breeder who impulsively invites the handsome, chick-flick-ready Grigg (Hugh Dancy) to join the club when he hits on her at a conference.


    Grigg agrees, with a caveat: He'll give Austen a chance if she'll try science fiction. The chemistry between them as they argue the merits of each of their preferred styles of literature is obvious, and when Jocelyn asks Grigg how he feels about older women, it seems clear where this is going. But Jocelyn doesn't want Grigg for herself. Instead, she means to set up him with Sylvia, and in this case the unforeseen plot turn is irritating: Jocelyn never lets either of them know about her intentions, leaving both the characters and the audience baffled when she switches from being sly to getting angry at Grigg for not asking Sylvia out. "You need to dance with Sylvia tonight!" she admonishes him before they all meet for a library benefit. But wouldn't you know it, as soon as Grigg shows the slightest interest in her friend, Jocelyn turns pouty. And yet later yells at Grigg for not sufficiently appreciating what a great person Sylvia is. It's a back-and-forth even Elizabeth Bennett would find exhausting.


    Swicord's script is woefully underdeveloped, with the passage of time marked with montages of the members reading each book and only cursory subplots for most of the characters. Prudie's may be as hole-y as the others – you can't imagine how the buttoned-down, romantic teacher ended up with a distant, jockish husband – but because of Blunt, this story is the most compelling: Quite the opposite of Blunt's outspoken, nearly boorish character in her breakout movie, The Devil Wears Prada, her Prudie is quiet and mannered, peppering her speech French phrases that make her seem arrogant. But she speaks slowly and avoids eye contact, often running her hands down her bob as if to squeeze out a clear thought from a brain noisy with thoughts of her miserable home life. One of the movie's most realistic and raw moments involves a fight between Prudie and her husband when she thinks he was flirting with another woman at a party, a blonde "with those ridiculous plastic boobs," she cries. "Is that what you go for?" Unfortunately, any credibility in that story line is wiped out with the suggestion that a caveman need only spend an afternoon reading Austen aloud to undergo a Mr. Darcy transformation.


    Blunt may be the standout in this terrific ensemble, but it's because no one else is given material worthy of their talents -- Brenneman cries a lot, Baker tosses off bon mots, and the typically intense Bello is reduced to romantic-comedy giddiness and embarrassing dialogue such as, "Reading Jane Austen is a freakin' minefield!" Dancy gets a pass: Not only is his character supposed to be little more than charming window dressing, the unthreateningly handsome actor is a much better fit as Grigg than in serious leading roles such as in last year's Beyond the Gates. The cast is ultimately wasted on a film that, at best, might have been a Cliffs Notes version of Austen, but more closely resembles a bargain-bin romance.

     


  • King of California

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    By Tricia Olszewski

     

     


    Michael Douglas is looking for spare change...I mean buried treasure


    If you saw Michael Douglas' King of California character on the street, you'd avoid eye contact and walk quickly past. Having just spent the past two years in an institution, Douglas' Charlie is disheveled and wild-eyed, oblivious to the ideas of authority or boundaries, and talks of little but finding an ancient treasure buried somewhere in West Coast suburbia. But this is a movie, so Charlie isn't mentally ill, he's magical. His unkempt hair and bushy beard are charming. And his eyes aren't rheumy from manic, sleepless nights, they sparkle with life.


    Charlie's 16-year-old daughter, Miranda (Evan Rachel Wood), seems to understand that her father is perhaps not yet fit to leave the hospital as she moans in voiceover about how the relatively stable life she's made for herself, trading school for a full-time job at McDonald's to pay the bills, is about to be upended when he comes home. (Mom, who we're told is a hand model for no reason other than to ratchet up quirk value, left a while ago.) Miranda sounds a little selfish, but, of course, that's all going to change – she may have become so distant from her father that she calls him Charlie, but really, as she says, "Who doesn't want to believe in buried treasure?"


    You can imagine how it all goes down. Charlie does something kooky, like sells Miranda's car to buy excavating equipment – yep, committed one day, given access to a back hoe the next -- and shrugs adorably when he gets caught. Miranda acts exasperated and even stern, but inevitably rolls her eyes in a sitcommy, "Oh, Dad!" kind of way. The surprising part about writer-director Mike Cahill's debut is that it's not nearly as wacky as its plot should rightly dictate – it's actually rather dull. Miranda's narration is incessant, covering everything from her family's background to purple excerpts from the journal of a Spanish explorer that Charlie's been studying to find clues about lost gold. It's a lot of information that Wood often delivers too quickly to grasp, relegating it to lulling background noise.


    And though while what we hear may get complicated, what we see is anything but. Here's Miranda at work, taking calls from Charlie as he further tries to convince her of the treasure's existence. Now they're in some off-limits area, say a private golf course, with Charlie manipulating his GPS device and Miranda looking vaguely concerned. Then they're at their run-down Victorian home, father and daughter gently butting heads over stuff such as whether he's eaten and how she's got too many responsibilities to go off digging for loot in the middle of the night. Golden-tinged flashbacks show poor wee Miranda (Allisyn Ashley Arm) washing dishes as her musician dad (of course he's a musician) plays upright bass with a bunch of other layabouts. The most memorable moments are also the creepiest, involving unattractive, middle-aged swingers in tiny bathing suits at a barbecue, slowly gyrating to Seals & Crofts' "Summer Breeze" and trying to get Miranda into a thong. It's an integral scene, but yikes.


    One imagines that Cahill intended all manner of meaning to flow from his script, not only about the specialness of the parent-child bond but also about chasing dreams, believing in people, the existence of treasure just beneath the surface of our junk society. (The spot with which Charlie finally marks his X is in a Costco, which, along with McDonald's, gets as much screen time as the characters.) But the director is too focused on nurturing Douglas' show-pony performance to develop the most important element of story, the relationship between Charlie and Miranda – if you can't feel the love, you can't believe that this otherwise smart and responsible girl would go along with Charlie's ridiculous, usually felonious actions. When, during one of their fights, she yells, "You never listen!" the line seems like it belongs in a different movie. By the time Charlie shows up in the middle of Costco in a wet suit, you'll wish you were in a different movie, too.

     


  • The Hunting Party

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    The Hunting Party

    http://msnbcmedia4.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/z_Projects_in_progress/_Ent/2007_Fall_Movie_Guide/fall_movie_guide_2007_thehuntingparty.h2.jpg
    If Kent Brockman came to life...



    The Three Stooges Go to Bosnia could have been an alternate title for The Hunting Party, an odd political thriller/comedy hybrid mined by writer-director Richard Shepard from a 2000 Esquire article. Naturally, the short piece about a handful of journalists and their attempt to find a war criminal required some tarting to be movie-ready, and Shepard isn't bashful about his embellishments; the end credits, in a rather fun touch, do a quick revisit of the film and point out who and what was real. But "fun" may not be what most people are looking for in a story about an ethnic cleanser and one man's need for revenge.


    It all starts out earnestly enough. Network cameraman Duck (Terrence Howard) is in Sarajevo with a just-out-of-J-school reporter, Ben (Jesse Eisenberg), for an easy assignment when he's tracked down by his former partner, Simon (Richard Gere). Simon has become a journalistic cliché – scruffy, drunk, crazed – since an on-air meltdown left him unemployable some 10 years back. But he's got a scoop, and he wants Duck to help him report the story he's sure will get him back in the game: Even though the United Nations have been looking for him for years, Simon knows where to find the Fox (Ljubomir Kerekes), the person responsible for the rape, torture, and slaughter of thousands of Bosnian Muslims. So the three travel to the country's mountains, where they're immediately threatened and shot at – and as Duck and Benjamin shit their pants, Simon admits that he doesn't really want to interview the Fox, he wants to capture him. OK, not really: It's all about a girl, and Simon wants to kill the guy who took her away from him. And, by the way, he never actually got any tips on his location.


    Bumbling and weaponless aren't good things to be in this situation, and the movie does offer some tense, gasp-inducing moments due to the sheer lunacy of these characters' choices. Its light side can be enjoyable as well, particularly the teasing, best-bud chemistry between Gere (doing a more rumpled version on his manic role in The Hoax) and Howard (who's charming as always, if excessively laid-back). With the Fox's real-life counterpart, Radovan Karadzic, still at large, The Hunting Party isn't only trying to compelling, it's begging to be talked about. But chances are you'll be less inclined to discuss world affairs than how in the world a pregnant woman's bloodied corpse could be shown in the same film that brings out a midget in a pink track suit for laughs.


  • December Boys

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    December Boys  (2007)

    Daniel Radcliffe hasn't exactly taken a huge leap in December Boys, his first cinematic turn outside of the Harry Potter franchise. He's gone from playing a British orphan to an Australian one. Radcliffe isn't the first Potter kid to try on a new character; Rupert Grint costarred in 2006's Driving Lessons. And both films are dull, treacly affairs that, if not for their value as trivia, won't likely be remembered at all.


    Radcliffe plays Maps, the eldest of four friends who live in an outback orphanage in the 1960s. They share December birthdays, and when the orphanage gets an unexpected donation, the staff decides to send them on a holiday to "a special place on the sea." They'll be heading off to Lady Star Cove, an idyllic spot whose beaches are blindingly white and laced with rock formations that are far more interesting than the movie itself. The boys are naturally excited, even though it turns out that the couple they're staying with, Bandy McAnsh (Jack Thompson) and his wife, "the Skipper" (Kris McQuade), are as religious and strict as the orphanage's nuns.


    Though Radcliffe would seem to be a main draw for the film, Maps isn't terribly significant. Considering that the actor can't seem to shake the stiffness that is adequately disguised by all the bells and whistles of the Potter films, it's a blessing in disguise. His fellow December boys are just as bland, with nicknames instead of personalities. Sparks (Christian Byers) and Spit (James Fraser) hardly register at all. The clichéd narration, though, tells us that we're supposed to focus on Misty (Lee Cormie), a freckled kid with glasses who's known for crying and really, really wants to be adopted. "They say the best place to start is at the beginning," says Max Cullen, who later appears as the adult Misty. He goes on to say the trip "was like destiny."


    A lot of similarly trite pronouncements follow, but you never get a firm grasp of what's going to happen or whose life is going to be altered in Lady Star Cove. And then the reason becomes clear: there's just not much of a story in this script, based on a Michael Noonan novel and written by Marc Rosenberg (whose previous film is a succubus-themed thriller from 1995 called Serpent's Lair). Instead, it's a series of loosely connected moments of forced wonder and adolescent eye-opening as the boys run around the beach during the day and sneak cigarettes at night. Director Rod Hardy isn't exactly subtle in his presentation of them: Look, a wild horse! It's keeping a Frenchwoman company as she swims topless! And there's Lucy, that sultry blond teenager who keeps staring, pillowy lips parted, at Maps!


    Most of the boys' golly-gee experiences involve sneaking peaks at women, though the most exciting development during the trip is a conversation Misty overhears between the town's local daredevil, "Fearless" (Sullivan Stapleton), and a priest. Fearless admits frustration that he and his wife, the aforementioned skinnydipper, Teresa (Victoria Hill), can't have children. The minister suggests adoption. Misty's eyes light up, and the next day he's Dippity Do-ing his hair and serving the McAnshes breakfast to prove he's a catch.


    There's a religious undercurrent here -– Misty's a Virgin Mary fan –- but it's often weirdly served up as a source of gentle humor, such as when Misty fantasizes about the orphanage's nuns telling him he's been adopted… and then cart-wheeling away toward the surf. Of course, no lessons would be learned if all the good stuff weren't balanced out with some bad, and the boys get tastes of death and disappointment as well. But just like its tries at whimsy fall flat, the film's serious developments are too contrived and predictable to be affecting.


    Especially unfortunate are Radcliffe's big calls to emote. Although his go-to expression, gaping, may be an appropriate reaction as Maps gets to know the supremely confident Lucy (Teresa Palmer), the script doesn't do the actor any favors by asking him to yell out lines like "Stop lying!" under stupid circumstances near the film's end. As eager as Radcliffe probably is to get out of Harry's shadow, it wasn't a great career move to pick a project that completely lacks magic.


  • I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With

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    By Tricia Olszewski

     

    The image
    Cheese: The new Brussels sprouts



    At one point in I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With, a struggling Chicago actor named James is giving a career-day talk at an elementary school when he starts rambling. "Get this," he tells the stone-faced kids about his latest job. "It was supposed to be a funny show, but I made people cry. Isn't that silly?"

    Curb Your Enthusiam
    's Jeff Garlin plays James – and also wrote and directed – and although he won't make you cry here, he'll probably make you yawn. Garlin's pet project with the unwieldy title feels terribly familiar, with its chatter about minutiae and throwback, accordion-heavy soundtrack making it seem like a Curb episode directed by Woody Allen. But instead of neuroses that are black-tinged and deep-seated, most of Cheese's navel-gazing is genial to the point of being childlike. "Where'd the term 'dealership' come from?" James asks a receptionist when the reality show he hosts plays a joke on a mechanic. "What about tent sales? What is it about tents that make people want to buy cars?" With each scene change, you can picture Garlin cut-and-pasting riffs he's written over the years to form some semblance of a story. Occasionally they're amusing; mostly, though, it's like hanging out with someone who tediously must express every thought that comes to mind. Or a toddler who just learned how to ask questions.


    Then again, perhaps that's fitting considering that the 39-year-old James still lives with mother.
    The two other things that are important to know about James is that he's fat and looking for love. (If watching the plus-size actor in every scene isn't enough to remind you about his weight, someone mentions it at what feels like five-minute intervals.) He seems to find love but not a solution to his dieting problems when he meets Beth (Sarah Silverman), a "hot girl" who gives James her practice sundae when she's watching her sister's ice-cream shop – and soon, uh, asks him to go underwear-shopping with her. (He's as incredulous as we are.)

    Silverman is initially a bright spot in this exceedingly loose film, but her character is impossible to like. The same can be said of the majority of the well-connected Garlin's guest stars: Second City alumni such as Bonnie Hunt, Amy Sedaris, and Dan Castellanata show up, though their main direction was apparently to act weird so Garlin can scrunch his eyebrows together at them.

    James does little but meander from rejection to rejection throughout the film. He's dumped personally, he's dumped professionally. None of these turns are given much explanation, despite the fact that, clocking in at a meager 80 minutes, the script had plenty of room for some. Every time someone tells James what a loser he is, though, he never raises more than an affable fuss over it, which makes the character's problems feel all the more contrived. Hearing about a remake of Marty for the Tiger Beat generation, in fact, seems to upset James more than the idea that his life is tanking. This sub-sub-plot at least leads to Cheese's funniest scene – which involves a secondslong upstaging by teen pop star Aaron Carter. Now that's silly.

     


 

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