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  • Hot Rod

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    Hot Rod  (2007)

     

    By Tricia Olszewski 

     

    Hot Rod's Rod Kimble is a moped-driving stuntman, but he may as well be figure-skating while reading a teleprompter and wearing a "Vote for Pedro" t-shirt. Saturday Night Live comic Andy Samberg's amalgam of Napoleon Dynamite and every Will Ferrell character to grace the big screen overestimates his talents, his appeal, his friends – and does much of it while wearing a thick fake mustache and occasionally making noises reminiscent of a barking walrus.


    Rod is your go-to loser, a petulant college-age kid who doesn't work, still lives at home, and had a vaguely triangular haircut. He butts heads – quite literally – with his stepdad, Frank (Deadwood's Ian McShane), attempting to win his respect by challenging the old man to fights. These battles are put on hiatus, however, when Rod's mother (Sissy Spacek, embarrassingly filling the Julie Hagerty space-mom role) tells him that Frank has a heart problem and will likely die soon because they can't afford a transplant. So Rod decides he's going to put his stuntman skills to use to raise funds: "I'm going to get you better," he seethes to Frank, "then I'm going to BEAT YOU TO DEATH!"

     

    Hot Rod is the misfit brain child of Samberg's comedy trio the Lonely Island (also comprising director Akiva Schaffer and co-star Jorma Taccone), best known for creating SNL digital shorts such as "Lazy Sunday" and "Dick in a Box." Though some of its basics are derivative, the movie still manages to add new color to the stupidity rainbow. Really, you can't go wrong with the elements thrown together here – Samberg's gangliness, a terrible hair-metal soundtrack, and completely random gags such as a character (Chester Tam) who seems to exist only to thrust-dance in various scenes are reflexive laugh-inducers despite the resistance your brain will inevitably put up.

     

    It's way less consistent than such top Ferrell vehicles as Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. But the silly genius of, say, an extended scene of Rod falling down a hill that's made up of obviously separate takes are just enough to compensate for awkward misfires, including many moments with a wasted Isla Fisher, who as Rod's love interest mostly has to look uncomfortably confused.

     

     


  • The Bourne Ultimatum

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    By Tricia Olszewski 

     

    "Moscow, Russia." Uh oh: The dateline-for-dummies announcement on the very opening scene of The Bourne Ultimatum doesn't bode well for the third installment of the action franchise. And, yes, sequences set in "Paris, France" and "London, England" are to follow. The Ultimatum's predecessors, 2002's The Bourne Identity and 2004's The Bourne Supremacy, were already much like their titular amnesiac's life – exciting but forgettable. Did returning director Paul Greengrass and two new scripters (along with Tony Gilroy, who penned the previous films based on Robert Ludlow's novels) decide to further water down Jason Bourne's allegedly final adventure, just in case the audience's wits were as weak as the superspy's memory?


    Well, sort of. In addition to the obvious placards, Gilroy and co-writers Scott Z. Burns and George Nolfi aren't aces when it comes to dialogue, which makes Ultimatum sound a lot dumber than it is. Bourne himself (Matt Damon) isn't much affected, considering that most of what he's asked to do is run, run, run as he dodges his former employer, the CIA, while trying to figure out his true identity – all he knows about his life is that he's a killing machine, his girlfriend was murdered, and people who tend to have weapons think he's dangerous. More problematic are the cliche-spouting supporting characters, particularly David Strathairn's barky agency head, Noah Vosen. Vosen, slickly dressed, frequently pacing, and often shot from low angles, couldn't look any more impressive. But then he opens his mouth: "Where is he, people?" he demands of his furiously tapping surveillance crew. "We can't afford to lose this guy, people!" "I pay you people to find people, people!"


    OK, I made that last one up, but it'd fit right in with the rest of Vosen's ridiculous spiels as he struggles to find Bourne, whom he believes is either "the source" -- of something bad, presumably -- "or after the source like we are." Vosen is determined to kill Bourne if he has to, to the alarm of Agent Pamela Landy (Joan Allen), who tussled with the spy in Supremacy but now believes he's a good guy who doesn't like it when violent strangers chase him. Also on his side is Nicky Parsons (Julia Stiles), another CIA operative who's targeted for guilt by association when it appears that she's helping Bourne.


    Despite a few other tired details (why do spies always break into the homes of whomever they're visiting, for example?) and a bit of melodrama (Bourne's memories are laughably always accompanied by hyperventilation and, often, the addled guy falling to his knees), though, The Bourne Ultimatum is as consistently gripping a thriller as you'll see all summer. What the filmmakers do best is what's most important – crafting nonstop cat-and-mouse scenes spiked with breathtaking, original action. Greengrass relies on the irritating shaky-cam significantly less this time around, using it just enough to add grit as the spy is pursued throughout tight, colorful global locales (the money chase scene consists of Bourne dashing through the alleys of Tangier on a moped) while accompanied by a heart-thumping tribal soundtrack. Ultimatum is a satisfying – and, ultimately, smart – finale to the sleeper franchise. But its success is dubious. When Bourne, about to discover what he's been running after this whole time, intones, "This is where it ends," you may be thinking, for the first time this summer, that a threequel is no longer enough.

     


  • The Simpsons Movie

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    Just because Eddie Punchclock and Sally Housecoat have managed to keep The Simpsons on the air for 18 years doesn't mean that it's still worth tuning in to. The past few seasons have become increasingly painful to watch, with forced, out-of-character antics and jokes being shamelessly recycled like so many stapled-together Krusty Burgers. So for loyal, longtime fans, the prospect of The Simpsons Movie was as worrisome as it was exciting: A failed big-screen adaptation of the beloved series would be the unfortunate, unequivocal sign that it was time to release the hounds on the clan for good.


    What a relief, then, that it doesn't suck. Creator Matt Groening gathered a veteran series director, David Silverman, and plenty of back-in-the-day writers to create a zippy, 87-minute mega-episode, one that doesn't quite rank among the best but is far from the worst. The story returns to Simpsons-save-the-day basics and reverses a couple of recently developed bad habits along the way – most egregiously, the morphing of Homer from cranky buffoon to enraged jerk.


    Of course, he still screws up, and this time it's a big one that potentially dooms not only his marriage but all of Springfield. The no-state town is in denial about its toxic lake, despite attempts by Lisa (Yeardley Smith) to environmentally school her neighbors by preaching about pollution door-to-door and hosting a conference, An Irritating Truth. Lisa convinces the residents to stop dumping, but eventually doughnuts speak louder than words: When Homer (Dan Castellaneta) hears that Lard Lad is giving out free goodies, he decides that he doesn't have time to properly dispose of a silo filled with the waste of his new pet pig. So into Lake Springfield it slides. Immediately, the waters burble into an ominous green and a skull appears, growling "Eeeevil!" Soon after, the head of the Environmental Protection Agency (Albert Brooks) seals off the whole dirty city in an impenetrable – or is it? -- dome.


    The literally and figuratively sharply drawn Simpsons Movie doesn't show off with an onslaught of celebrity cameos (Green Day and Tom Hanks being the quick exceptions), and, in fact, even many favorite secondary characters are restricted to populating crowd scenes or spouting a line or two. The latter is somewhat unfortunate – no episode has suffered because of too much Principal Skinner or Mr. Burns – but the writers' decision to focus on the family doesn't backfire. (The choice to include a "President Schwarzenegger" instead of the show's Ahrnold stand-in, Rainier Wolfcastle? More puzzling.) It's not only Homer that's been de-caricaturized: Marge (Julie Kavner) and Lisa are once again do-gooders who are funny instead of annoying and Bart (Nancy Cartwright), though arguably the character who's stayed the truest throughout the years, is a troublemaker who's entertainingly rebellious (two words: skateboarding sequence) without coming off like a brat.


    Homer, though, is the center of this universe, and the script effortlessly laces a story of government corruption with lessons geared toward the bumbling patriarch on maintaining a good marriage and thinking of people other than yourself. Still, this isn't a Hallmark special: Sly humor and subversion are what have won The Simpsons fans for the past two decades, and the movie continues that tradition by including mischief such as drunkenness, nudity, slams on cultural icons, and social commentary that will offend sensitive sensibilities. A wide canvas gave the animators ample opportunity to fill the screen to bursting with gags you'll likely need the DVD to catch, including credit-crawls of fake names. Turning out a film worthy of 18 years' of anticipation couldn't have been easy – but cheers to Groening for not taking Homer's legendary advice to never try.


 

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