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  • Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason - The Polar Express

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    By Tricia Olszewski

     

    At the beginning of Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason, our chubby heroine gushes about her perfect relationship with her perfect boyfriend and declares with perfect confidence, “Bridget Jones is a love pariah no more!” Lucky for us, that doesn’t mean she’s no longer awkward, paranoid, or obsessive. To Bridget, happiness and heartache are equal causes for alarm, with romantic bliss being as potentially catastrophic as a pint of Chunky Monkey in the icebox.

    Based on Helen Fielding’s novel of the same name, this uneven sequel to Bridget Jones’s Diary kicks off with Bridget (Renée Zellweger) swooning over her six-week courtship with Mark Darcy (Colin Firth), the heavenly human-rights lawyer she started dating at the end of the first film. The 33-year-old Bridget is beginning a fresh diary for what she naturally expects to be a brilliant year, one in which her career in TV journalism takes off and “boyfriend” replaces “fuckwit” as her favorite word. As director Beeban Kidron, taking the franchise’s reins from Sharon Maguire, expresses the couple’s love with a corny Sound of Music sendup, Bridget sighs, “I found my happy ending!”

    Except, of course, she hasn’t. Bridget’s fairy-tale plans begin to unravel when she’s warned about Rebecca (Jacinda Barrett), a gorgeous young intern who spends an inordinate amount of time by Darcy’s side. (“With legs up to here!” Bridget whines to her friends. “My legs only go up to there!”) Her crazed jealousy, crash-and-burn faux pas, and belief that the v. conservative Darcy would rather “find someone in the VIP room who’s so perfect you don’t have to fix her” naturally torpedo the relationship. Further complicating things is the reappearance of Daniel Cleaver (Hugh Grant), the handsome, clever cad who toyed with Bridget’s heart in the first film and is now successfully hosting her station’s new travel show.

    Scripted by Fielding with help from Wimbledon vet Adam Brooks and Diary screenwriters Andrew Davies and Richard Curtis, The Edge of Reason might seem a shrewd sequel indeed. Our lovable protagonist is still fending off uncomfortable questions from friends and family (“Bridget, do you want to get married and have babies before you’re barren or what?”), the new story line is perfectly reasonable, and even the bad guy is back in a believable position of power. Surprisingly, the only miscalculation is the filmmakers’ making Bridget a bit less of an Everywoman: The Edge of Reason veers too often toward big-budget, big-personality wackiness, with Bridget seemingly trying things such as skiing and ’shrooms just because the plumped Zellweger would look funny doing so.

    The thing is, she does. The actress, who was nominated for an Oscar for her role in Diary, is entertainingly hopeless whether performing the mild slapstick of climbing stairs in a girdle or skulking around her flat wrapped in a comforter, lamenting her breakup, and noting that her current weight is “4,000 pounds.” In either case, her physicality is convincing and pitch-perfect, exaggerated ever so slightly for the sake of comedy. It helps, too, that Fielding & Co. somehow seem to make every misstep lead to a reward: The stock scene in which a devastated Bridget gazes out her window while a ballad plays, for example, earns a laugh when every single window in her neighborhood of high-rises frames a silhouetted couple. Ditto for Grant’s deadpan slickness, which makes even his recycled heat-of-the-moment whisper of “Oh God, please be wearing the giant panties!” pay off.

    If only there weren’t the odd plot turn that lands Bridget in a Thai prison, where, surrounded by a couple of dozen female prisoners, she does what comes naturally and begins to complain about her relationships. Her cellmates talk about physical abuse and prostitution, then ask, “What did your bad boyfriend do?” Surely Bridget could have learned the same lesson in a less melodramatic way—and, for that matter, closer to home. But then we would never get the scene in which Daniel, who ignored Bridget as Thai airport authorities held her for questioning, and Darcy fountain-wrestle to the Darkness’ “I Believe in a Thing Called Love.” And they look awfully funny doing so.

     

     

    Though The Edge of Reason’s sporadic charms should be discernible to anyone unfamiliar with the movie’s literary origins, The Polar Express seems pitched to those already in love with its weird but hardly wonderful holiday story. Indeed, this fable about believing in Christmas magic is likely to be embraced only by sentimental Gen Y–ers and toddlers who find Teletubbies sufficiently entertaining.

    Based on the 1985 children’s book by author and illustrator Chris Van Allsburg, co-written and directed by Robert Zemeckis, and executive-produced by Tom Hanks, The Polar Express is notable for its “performance-capture” animation, which digitizes the movements of live actors. This party trick may offer a bit more nuance in terms of the characters’ body language—though really, was this considered a serious problem in cartooning?—but in the process all facial subtlety is lost. Ironically, the film’s attempt to make its humans as realistic as its gorgeous scenery results in characters whose dead-eyed freakiness skirts Oompa Loompa territory.

    Along with co-scripter William Broyles Jr., Zemeckis expands Allsburg’s brief story into a 100-minute feature, taking some liberties with the book’s plot line but staying true to both its message and Allsburg’s illustrations. When the film opens, it’s near midnight on Christmas Eve and a nameless child—credited to “voice performer” Daryl Sabara, “additional child performer” Josh Hutcherson, and Hanks, who plays six characters in all—is awaiting the arrival of Santa Claus, who he’s fairly certain won’t show. Soon, a commotion of bright lights and mysterious bluster appears outside his window; the boy, in natty PJs and robe, goes out to find a locomotive parked on the street. A terse conductor (Hanks) tells him that the train is headed to the North Pole and that, given his abominable lack of effort to get in touch with Santa this year, he’d better get on.

    Other children who have been picked up by the train include the outgoing Hero Girl (Nona Gaye), the Urkelesque Know-It-All (Eddie Deezen), and Lonely Boy (Peter Scolari), a poor kid in a raggedy dressing gown who had to be fetched from “the other side of the tracks.” Not a whole lot happens on the ride North, but its few jazzier moments are inarguably weird: The kids are served hot chocolate during an assaultlike musical number in which chefs somersault and waiters dance, stone-faced, down the aisle; Hero Boy keeps running into a prickly and seemingly phantom hobo whose cryptic conversation adds nothing to the story; and Hero Girl and Lonely Boy hold hands and gaze into each other’s eyes as they sing a Broadway-style ballad—apparently what passes for emotion in the animated version of Zemeckis Land.

    The Polar Express isn’t completely flat, however. A fascinating sequence similar to the extended chain-of-events trailer for Ice Age quietly shows the fate of a ticket that flies out the train’s window but eventually makes its way back, soaring through the inky night over wolves and rapids, being carried by an eagle, and even ending up in the beak of a baby bird. But what should be the most exciting part of The Polar Express ends up being its most disturbing: The North Pole is presented as a place that’s brightly colored but nearly abandoned, with cheery Christmas music echoing through empty toy factories as the elves gather en masse to cheer, cultlike, the decidedly noncuddly Santa’s takeoff. From scarily muscular reindeer that seem the size of Trojan horses to Lonely Boy’s rather unnatural confession that “Christmas just doesn’t work out for me. Never has,” this wannabe-magical last chapter is oddly sinister.

    But at least it’s consistent with the rest of the film: Whether it’s Hero Boy’s essential kidnapping, or the fact that none of the characters show warmth, or that Santa’s Workshop has all the spirit of a gulag, this tale of holiday cheer never feels terribly cheery—the message ultimately offered, in fact, seems to be that Hero Boy had better believe, or else. When Hero Girl gushes, “It’s everything I dreamed it would be!” it’s just one more movie moment that feels completely out of place on-screen.

  • The Incredibles - Go Further

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    Go Further  (2003)

    The Incredibles  (2004)

     

    By Tricia Olszewski 

     

    Unless you were born in Spielbergia, life in the suburbs is usually pretty unheroic—and that’s just for the tightsless among us. Consider the plight of Bob Parr: Once known as Mr. Incredible, Bob was at the top of his crime-fighting, life-saving game when a lawsuit by a thwarted jumper opened the floodgates for litigation over any unwelcome superheroly intervention. The ensuing money grab forced Bob and his new wife, Helen—aka Elastigirl—underground to Metroville, U.S.A., where they’re known only as the plain ol’ Parrs. Fifteen years and three kids later, Bob is out of shape, driving a compact car, and earning a living at a heartless insurance company, where he’s forced on a daily basis to make little old ladies cry. At least Hellboy had nachos.

    The Incredibles, which borrows its spirit from Spy Kids, comic books, and James Bond flicks, is the latest—and, at 115 minutes, the longest—from storied (as in Toy) Disney partner Pixar Animation Studios. But its combination of complex narrative and butt-numbing length may make the movie, the first by Pixar to be rated PG, a bit too much for the littlest Finding Nemo fans to handle. In fact, the touches that contribute to its ’60s look and sound, including a Q-like character based on old-school Hollywood costumer Edith Head, may be grasped by few under 50.

    But if the overall feel of the film is of a throwback, its ideas are decidedly up-to-date. Bird has some fun with the greediness of lawyers and big business, but a more prominent theme is what happens when, well, no ’toon is left behind. Bob (voiced by Craig T. Nelson), for instance, calls the “graduation” event of his fourth-grader, Dash (Spencer Fox), “psychotic,” ranting that the schools “keep finding new ways to reward mediocrity!” Even more frustrating is the fact that the cautious Helen (Holly Hunter) won’t let Dash, who’s essentially a tiny Flash, participate in any sports, for fear that his speed will get the family recognized and ridiculed. While Dash is itching to stand out from the crowd (when Mom tells him that “everyone is special,” he responds, “Which is another way of saying no one is”), teen daughter and invisibility expert Violet (Sarah Vowell), her blue-black hair hanging over one eye, laments that “no one in this family is normal.”

    Unbeknownst to Helen, Bob hasn’t totally left behind his old life, spending his “bowling nights” with pal Frozone (Samuel L. Jackson), listening to police scanners and helping society in disguise. This activity leads to an invitation from the mysterious Mirage (Elizabeth Peña) for Bob to return to superheroing on a remote volcanic island, where he and his old suit are flown to fight a multilegged machine with the ability to roll a path of destruction like a giant medicine ball. Naturally, another opponent awaits—villain Syndrome (Jason Lee)—though his appearance is accompanied by a stretch of unusually tedious storytelling.

    Once again, Pixar has produced a visual stunner. The characters may be sharp-lined exaggerations—Bob is shaped like an inverted triangle; the women are sticks with J. Lo asses—but they’re softened by Barbie-glossy heads of hair in which every strand is perceptible. Indeed, it’s the details that will add up to wow you: Frequent news footage, sometimes in black and white, is appropriately grainy, while the secret island’s green lushness, blue skies, and surrounding water are shockingly realistic. This, in other words, is a world closer to Nemo’s than Toy Story’s, a mix of the casually cartoonish and the meticulously true-to-life.

    Bird keeps the drama/comedy ratio relatively balanced, too—which means the story isn’t exactly a laff riot. As often is the case with Disney, the humor runs toward the sophisticated, with quips about superhero “monologuing” and uniforms that “breathe like Egyptian cotton.” (Though, for good measure, there are also plenty of shots along the lines of “My God, you’ve gotten fat.”) Like Ben Edlund’s Seinfeldian comic/cartoon/sitcom The Tick, The Incredibles is strongest when it puts its extraordinary protagonists into very ordinary situations—the family and its everyday travails, for example, are entertainingly presented as crashingly ho-hum with just a dash of Harry Potter high jinks.

    In the end—where Bird nicely picks up the pace—the gifts that were burdening the Parrs are the very things that keep them together, with the outgoing message being, of course, a positive one: “You have more power than you realize.” Mercifully, Bird’s script doesn’t get too sticky-sweet on us, even offering a bit of surprisingly dark humor in the clan’s last-act butt-kicking. (Without giving too much away, let’s just say the Parrs discover baby Jack Jack’s previously hidden power.) When the dust finally settles in the Parrs’ quiet Metroville neighborhood, a criminally adorable neighborhood tyke, watching the action from his tricycle, squeals, “That was totally wicked!” Well, maybe not totally. But this well-intentioned, if not entirely well-paced, movie is still pretty close.

     

     

    Go Further, a save-the-environment documentary by Comic Book Confidential director Ron Mann, also encourages the power of the individual—and, uh, hemp. Mann follows “actor-activist” Woody Harrelson on a 2001 bus/bike trip from Seattle to Los Angeles dubbed the SOL Tour. That’s short, of course, for the message on offer: simple organic living.

    Along with a small entourage that includes a yoga instructor, a raw-foods chef, and Steve, a flaky pothead/junk-food addict, Harrelson stops at colleges, areas of commerce, and logging companies as he talks about the need for change in our energy use and diets. The group—actually, the horny Steve—even gains a follower, persuading British student Linda to come live the bike-and-broccoli lifestyle for a while.

    And wouldn’t you know it? By the time Linda leaves our heroes, this erstwhile Earth-hater has clear skin, gobs of energy, and a new attitude toward our horrible consumer culture. It’d be a convincing development if it didn’t go completely unchallenged. If only the same could be said for Harrelson’s mantra that milk is full of blood and pus—an idea that Steve, who gets more screen time than the star himself, soon repeats ad nauseam. (Whether he owned his “*** milk—got pot?” T-shirt before or after learning this is unclear.)

    The attention that Mann (who previously collaborated with Harrelson in the 1999 documentary Grass) pays Steve turns out to be double-edged. Though Steve’s “Far out, dude!” demeanor makes him by far Go Further’s liveliest personality, his alleged transformation from a guy who dined at 7-Eleven to someone who suddenly implores crowds to “Say no to corn dogs” is a little too key to the film’s argument. Like Linda’s transformation, it’s just not believable—or even complete: Though Steve extols the deliciousness of seaweed cookies to a truckload of whippet-huffing teenagers, he eventually succumbs to a Snickers.

    Harrelson, however, really does lead by example. The bus is fueled by hemp oil and equipped with cork floors and solar panels. And his arguments for sustainable energy, pesticide-free farms, and alternative paper sources—three subjects whose relative merits are at least backed up by brief interviews with outsiders—are passionate without seeming crazed. (At one point, Harrelson even plants his team outside a logging company and questions a worker, though he’s quick to say that he hates the deed, not the doer.)

    Go Further tries to poke gentle fun at Harrelson’s grass-roots efforts, including short animated sequences with smiley-faced protesting vegetables and a little bus whose exhaust spits out “HEMP HEMP HEMP HEMP.” But the overall feel is alarmist and earnest, helped by a soundtrack that includes the Dave Matthews Band, Billy Bragg, and Natalie

    Merchant, who makes an appearance singing dourly into the camera in between shots of cleared forests. If the former Maniac wants to change things, she should start by listening to the speaker who introduces Harrelson in Santa Barbara: “There’s still hope for the world,” she says. “But only if we stop being dickheads.”

  • Fade to Black

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    Fade to Black  (2004)

     

    By Tricia Olszewski 

     

    “I heard people say I’m the luckiest man on the planet,” Jay-Z narrates at the beginning of Fade to Black. Though the multiplatinum-selling MC then goes on to say that he created his own luck, thank you very much, he does concede that once in a while, “all the stars align.” In this case, Jigga means the success of his blockbuster Madison Square Garden farewell concert in November 2003, which kicked off the tour to support his allegedly final work, The Black Album. And, of course, all the glitterati who showed up: Although the show is considered groundbreaking for being the first time a solo hiphop artist sold out an arena—as well as for being the first hiphop event at the Garden in years—Jay-Z is rarely alone in the concert footage that dominates Patrick Paulson and Michael John Warren’s 100-minute documentary. The guest lineup includes, among others, Mary J. Blige, Pharrell Williams, ?uestlove, now-former tourmate R. Kelly, and girlfriend Beyoncé, who delivers a knockout performance of “Crazy in Love.”

    Between concert scenes, the camera catches Jay in the studio as he created his swan song, of which he says, “Every single line needs to make a statement.” At one point, there’s a brief debate about what sort of statement that might be, about the responsibility hiphop artists have to keep violence out of their work. The accepted argument, of course, is that fans want the guns ’n’ hos, which prompts Jay to look into the camera and say, “See what you did to rappers? They afraid to be theyself!” But the stronger message that comes across from these sessions is Jay’s obvious joy at making and hearing music, which is apparent whenever he a samples a beat but is especially palpable in a scene with Kanye West: Hova listens to the up-and-comer’s grooves and pretty much freaks out in delight, as if he were just another fan. Given Fade to Black’s unabashedly worshipful tone, Paulson and Warren clearly understand that state of mind. Even better, though, they know how to produce it in others: It takes no more than a single pan of that night’s packed, ecstatic crowd to believe it when, in the appropriately titled “Encore,” Jay boasts, “I came; I saw; I conquered.”


  • Ray

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    Ray  (2004)

     

    By Tricia Olszewski 

     

    It’s official: Ugly Wanda has left the building. Over the past year, Jamie Foxx, In Living Color clown and Booty Call playa, has slowly shed the stoopidity with surprisingly understated and charismatic roles in Breakin’ All the Rules (whose trailer suggested a Booty Redial) and Collateral (in which he outshone Tom Cruise). But it’s still somewhat shocking to witness his jaw-dropping transformation in Ray: For the bulk of Taylor Hackford’s two-and-a-half-hour biopic, the comedian is Ray Charles.

    As Hackford chronicles Charles’ life from the beginning of his career in the late ’40s through his mid-’60s heyday, Foxx does more than don the trademark sunglasses and affect a Weeble-esque sway at the piano. His physical resemblance to Charles aside, Foxx flawlessly re-creates the “blind ’Bama boy”’s suspicious, stubborn, and fiercely independent public persona as well his unique speaking style, often scatting his words together as he woos the ladies or negotiates an unheard-of record deal. Hackford, who wrote the screenplay with newbie James L. White, doesn’t gloss over Charles’ demons, including his womanizing and heroin use. Much is made of the singer’s early traumas, too, which are presented in Crayola-colored flashbacks and include not only going blind from glaucoma at age 7, but also an event the filmmakers suggest was perhaps more debilitating: his younger brother’s surely preventable drowning in a washtub.

    Still, the music’s the thing here, and Foxx, who attended college on a piano scholarship, mimes Charles’ hand movements and lip-synchs along to the singer’s recordings with magical precision. (It’s also fun to see a time when record executives still said, “You either sound original or you got nothing.”) Strong supporting actors, notably Regina King as Charles’ firecracker backup singer Margie Hendricks, Sharon Warren as his tough mother, and Curtis Armstrong as visionary Atlantic Records exec Ahmet Ertegun, hold their own against Foxx to help make Ray a thoroughly satisfying portrait of talent as it blossoms, withers, and comes back to life. And if hearing genre-crossing hits such as 1962’s countrified “You Don’t Know Me” doesn’t make you ache, the closing footage of the recently deceased icon himself surely will.


  • Saw

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    Saw  (2004)

     

    By Tricia Olszewski 

     

    If you’ve caught the trailer for the new horror flick from young Australian filmmakers James Wan and Leigh Whannell, consider Saw seen. And then think about buying a ticket to something scarier—Shark Tale, perhaps. This one-twist splatterfest turns on the premise of a serial killer who doesn’t actually kill, but rather forces his victims into elaborate emprisonments in which they either have to do themselves in or commit murder. As the teaser has the balls to flash: “HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?”

    When the film opens, the villain has already done his dirty work: Adam (Whannell, who also co-wrote the script with director Wan), wakes up chained in a tub of muck. On the other side of the tiled basement hall is the similarly shackled Dr. Lawrence Gordon (Cary Elwes), who helpfully sets things in motion by saying, “Oh yeah, there’s this freak named Jigsaw who likes to watch people kill each other.” As the two talk—and talk—about their predicament, the backstory is provided by suspenseless flashbacks, including a couple of Jigsaw’s prior orchestrations (which Wan tries to jazz up with absurdly frenetic camerawork) and the requisite obsessed cop (Danny Glover). The killer’s current “game,” which the hostages discover by playing tapes they find in their pockets, is this: Lawrence needs to kill Adam by a certain time or his wallflowery wife (Monica Potter) and screeching spawn (Makenzie Vega) are done for.

    The movie’s only triumph is its dark ’n’ grimy, Se7en-esque look. Seemingly every surface here is befouled by the kind of ickiness that usually lurks only in the corners of men’s dorm rooms—which, come to think of it, is exactly where you’d imagine Saw was written, late on a Friday night, after many drinks: Dude, wouldn’t it kick ass if a chick was locked in, like, a reverse bear trap, and she had to cut the key out of some dude’s stomach?! Of course, the stiff dialogue—more stomach-turning than any of the carnage—actually makes it kinda fun to watch Elwes’ giant pussy of a man crumble under stress. At one early point, Lawrence entreats Adam to “Stop all your lies!” then succumbs to Planet of the Apes–worthy histrionics in which he pounds the floor and says “Gaaahdaaahm iiit!” a lot. How fucked up is that?


  • Vera Drake - Head in the Clouds

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    By Tricia Olszewski 

     

    The title character of writer-director Mike Leigh’s Vera Drake is a tirelessly do-gooding sort. Vera, a tiny, button-faced Englishwoman, dresses in pilly sweaters and drab skirts; middle-aged, she looks as if she’s been toiling since birth. In dreary 1950 London, she spends her days tidying the homes of the rich and dropping in to check on the neighborhood infirm—always cheerily—before returning to her tiny flat to make dinner for her husband and two grown children. Once in a while, her daily rounds include panicky women who’ve gotten in the family way; in these cases, Vera’s reflexive move to “put the kettle on” while she unpacks a rubber syringe ain’t in preparation to make tea.

    In other words, Vera is a saint—who casually performs abortions.

    “Abortion,” however, is a word that’s not only barely spoken in Leigh’s powerful drama, it’s not even uttered until the final 45 minutes. Vera (Imelda Staunton) prefers to say that she “helps young girls out.” Besides a mild suggestion that she had gotten pregnant herself when she was very young, no explanation is given regarding why Vera has been offering this service—for free—for approximately 20 years. And she hasn’t felt the need to tell either her mechanic husband, Stan (Phil Davis), or their good-natured kids, Sid (Daniel Mays) and Ethel (Alex Kelly).

    The fact that Vera shows not a trace of guilt about either of these things—as well as the matter-of-fact manner in which she performs the abortions, capped with a sunny speech about how “it’ll all come away, and you’ll be right as rain!”—could make her seem something of a monster. But Leigh and the cherubic Staunton are too forceful in their desire to make you believe in this character’s goodness: In case you missed details such as Vera’s always-kind words and her happy humming as she polishes other people’s gilded fireplaces, Vera’s family and friends are given to speaking of her selflessness, often. It’s all laid on a bit heavily, to be sure, but it’s also so convincing that when Vera’s actions are finally questioned—after a chain of events sparked by one of her girls’ becoming gravely ill—you may find yourself clucking in disapproval.

    Leigh’s film is shameless in other ways, too. The rape and subsequent pregnancy of a wealthy teenager, Susan (Sally Hawkins), seems to exist only to show the difference in care that money can buy; after Susan spends her secret weekend with the nuns, she’s forgotten about. And Vera’s attempt to pair off the dowdy, timid Ethel with an equally dowdy, timid neighbor, Reg (Eddie Marsan), is initially touching, until you realize that the awww! factor seems to come more from the sight gag of two awkwardly horny, slump-shouldered misfits than the idea of a couple of lonely souls finding each other.

    Leigh excels, however, at creating an atmosphere that sucks you in despite his dramatic missteps. Vera Drake is remarkably silent—there’s rarely any music to adorn scenes from its first half, which show Vera scooting about her usually foggy day and move as briskly as the busy bee herself. And the casting, at least in the Drake family, is impeccable: Kelly could be Staunton’s own child; Davis and Adrian Scarborough, who plays Stan’s brother, Frank, not only resemble each other, but also have their hair parted and combed in the exact same way, as if still wearing their childhood hairstyles. Costuming is similarly given a great deal of attention, with the fibers of their clothes as worn as the working-class family’s faces.

    Staunton’s heartbreakingly earnest performance, though, is what delivers Vera Drake’s effective gut-punch. Her Vera is simultaneously able-bodied and frail-looking, and to watch her usually smiling face—with which Leigh often fills the screen—turn terrified when she realizes the possible consequences of her actions is devastating. This poor little woman, Leigh seems to be saying, was only trying to help people in need. The accomplishment of the film is that whatever you may think of Vera’s actions, you feel the tragedy of her fate as if it were yours.

     

     

    Head in the Clouds, John Duigan’s schizophrenic sprawler about a hedonistic young woman in ’30s Europe, doesn’t offer anyone to cozy up to. There’s plenty of virtue here to counter the selfishness, but the characters and story are too dull to make you care one way or the other.

    The film is a love story with a history lesson attached. Its central couple, free-spirited socialite Gilda (Charlize Theron) and serious poor boy Guy (Stuart Townsend), meet gaggingly cute at Cambridge, when Gilda busts into Guy’s dorm room to avoid getting caught while on her way out after visiting her boyfriend. Without so much as an exchange of names, Gilda ends up spending the night there, in a quaint scene characterized by a nocturnal emission and dialogue such as “You also have a nice willy, and I’m hoping to dream about it!” Naturally, Guy falls in love.

    Gilda starts sleeping with Guy but stays with her boyfriend, at least until she decides to leave both of them to travel around the world. A couple of years later, she writes Guy a note summoning him to Paris, where she’s about to open an art exhibition. Guy comes running, to find Gilda still sluttily fabulous, involved openly with a man of little consequence and almost openly with Mia (Penélope Cruz), a model and dancer who’s a nurse on the side. Gilda persuades Guy to ditch his teaching job and move to Paris, so he, Gilda, and Mia can lead a happily bohemian life, ignoring the pesky little war over in Spain that’s bringing the rest of Europe down.

    The three of them spend their time dancing, drinking, and sharing a bed. (Which makes Mia’s later confession to Guy, “You know she and I were lovers?” a bit of a head-scratcher.) But eventually Guy and the Spanish-born Mia can’t keep their consciences quiet any longer, and they leave Gilda to help with the war effort.

    Here Duigan completely shifts tones, suddenly giving full focus to something that before seemed only a topic of casual conversation. The glamour of Paris is exchanged for the gray of a wintry, battle-torn Spain, though, surprisingly, neither color is lost nor action gained. Head in the Clouds has limped along until this point, devoid of passion or plot as Gilda and Guy were repeatedly thrown together to yak uninterestingly about their relationship. But it limps along after this point as well: Guy and Mia, boring as bons vivants, are just as lifeless when shown living nobly, and though it’s really not that upsetting an absence, Gilda is practically forgotten about for a while.

    Theron, bobbed and pretty again after her Oscar-winning role in Monster, is sufficiently playful despite her flatly written part, which besides delivering some atrocious dialogue asks her to negotiate a hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold-worthy plot turn. Cruz’s most vivid moment involves a striptease. And Townsend, Theron’s real-life beau, is even less successful as the personality-free Guy, who wears the same slightly confused, hangdog expression whether seducing a lady or worrying about world events. For all its wealth, partying, and three-ways, Head in the Clouds is shockingly lacking in joie de vivre.

     


 

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