For a virtual babe, Lara Croft has a pretty cool life. When she's not traveling the world -- the heiress is as skilled at photojournalism and archaeology as she is at tomb-raiding -- she lives in an elegant, light-filled mansion, has spiderlike robots specially designed for her fightin' pleasure, and employs a foxy butler to ensure that all of her other aristocratic needs are promptly met. And, as brought to life by the boobalicious Angelina Jolie, Croft also believably commands both respect and dropped-jaw fascination from the cadre of men she keeps in her company.
Jolie spends the majority of Lara Croft: Tomb Raider chasing myriad and sometimes unidentified bad guys with her double guns, smiling deliciously at each new challenge, and -- a little something for those who are rightfully frustrated watching the PG-13 flick -- even takes a slo-mo shower and unabashedly drops her towel as she saunters to the closet, her butler scolding her for not being ladylike while he droolingly marvels at his professional luck. Oh yeah: There's also something about an impending planetary alignment, an all-seeing eye, an evil secret society, and the need for Croft to complete her late father's mission of finding half of an ancient triangle in the interest of saving the world.
But who cares? The action sequences are rote and hardly summer-blockbuster-exhilarating (no insult to Bono, but maybe some Mortal Kombat-style industrial-strength techno would have helped) and most of them seem rather tangential to the plot, which is senselessly overdetailed. (When Croft is asked by one of her hangers-on why she's taking off to some exotic locale this time, the writers have her trot out the tired "If I told you, I'd have to kill you," apparently to avoid having to reiterate the whirl of events leading up to her departure.) Occasionally, a character will growl, "You're the tomb raider!" abruptly reminding the audience of the movie's whole alleged point. Moviegoers, however, will have already gleaned the real purpose of the film: to whet everyone's appetite for more ass-kickin' Jolie in Tomb Raider 2.