minjoe Blog

Unfortunately, the remaining 90 minutes of film will often make you feel like the idiot trying to run through a wall.

The movie follows the journey of Bob Wilton (Ewan McGregor), an Ann Arbor based writer who happens to stumble upon a secret government program for training psychic-soldiers. His journey takes him to Kuwait, where he runs into Lyn Cassady (George Clooney) who is supposedly the best of the best within the "U.S. Army First Earth Battalion." Cassady informs Wilton that he is a Jedi-warrior and sets up the rest of the film as being an odd satire of war, the military, and who the hell knows what else.

Obi-Wan joins Batman on his trip into Iraq for what is promised to be a 'top-secret' mission. As the plot unfolds you realize the trip wasn't all that top secret, or special, or relevant. The saving graces are the flashbacks that show the forming of the jedi-warrior program by Bill Django (Jeff Bridges). You get glimpses of the "The Dude" in Bridges performance and can't help but laugh every time he is on screen...even if the scenes he is in are still not all that well executed as a whole.

If Obi-Wan, Batman, and The Dude are our heroes, Larry Hooper (Kevin Spacey) is clearly the villian. He was one of the jedi recruits who didn't quite pan out in comparison to the incredible (read: Not that impressive) powers of Lyn Cassady. Thus, he works to destroy the program form within, expel the current leadership, and take over as leader. The last 30 minutes of the movie is our heroes coming together once more to challenge his evil reign and bring him down for good. Luckily, they choose the most ridiculous, unnecessary way to accomplish this task.

If things sound confusing so far, thats because this movie has absolutely no idea what point its trying to make (if any). At some times it seems as though its going to be a satire of war propaganda, profiteering, and Cold-War tactics. At other times, it seems like its actually spoofing the military as a whole--which, as we continue the fights in Iraq & Afghanistan seems...ballsy? The script has almost no flow, and really (and emphasize REALLY) falls apart toward the end and devolves into the most pointless conclusion you can possibly imagine. Oh, and it should also be noted that the movie spends every moment making fun of the idea that psychic-warriors are the 'real deal' only to have the last shot of the film make you think that--yes--this is possible. Thanks for that writers--no really, way to think it through...idiots.

The cast is star-studded and do some great work salvaging a number of scenes and keeping the movie watchable. Despite having Clooney and McGregor as the main stars, the film is stolen by the performances of Bridges & Spacey. Unfortunately, the lack of characters you empathize with, or even care about, makes every scene pretty forgettable. I got out of the movie 20 minutes ago and am already struggling to remember any memorable moments. Perhaps the only witty scene (unintentionally) was Lyn explaining that he was a jedi warrior to Wilton (Obi-Wan) only to have Wilton look at him blankly, and request an in-depth explanation of what a Jedi was. The entire audience chuckled through the extent of that scene...for obviously unintentional reasons.

I was really hoping for more from this movie, but it looks like it was thrown together (By first time director, Grant Heslov) in a real hurry. Obviously, they felt the strength of the cast, and the individual performances, could mask the shotty writing, and poor directorial execution--but they were sorely mistaken.

If you want to see Jeff Bridges loaded up on mind-bending drugs, just go rent the far superior Big Lebowski and call it a day. "Men Who Stare At Goats" may do well at the box-office on the strength of the cast--but it certainly won't be due to quality of film.

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