I am a horror movie aficionado.
Any horror movie fan has a moment when he, or she, comes to the following realizations:
- 99% of horror films are remarkably un-scary.
- The remaining 1% are only scary for about 3 minutes of the actual film.
- If you judge horror films on the same scale as you would judge a regular movie, they would almost all receive zero stars, two thumbs down, etc.
- If the film your watching takes place from the year 2000 onward, someone will probably be tortured.
- You don't get "The Shining" but you tell everyone you know that you understand the deeper meaning. (I totally do...)
Despite what her eyes may want you to think...this is not scary.
I won't sit here and lie to you and say that I had any idea what Paranormal Activity was until the hype that has surrounded it ensured that every living soul would have the opportunity to enjoy being scared shit-less by this movie. However, the life of an unemployed Michigander (what a stereotype...) allows me the time to take in the occasional matinée, so I figured I'd check it out.
Paranormal Activity was filmed for a budget of only slightly more than my typical unemployment check. Thus, its not entirely surprising to find that the entire action of the film is captured on one camera by the protagonists of the film. People love comparing this to the Blair Witch Project, but people who do that are also stupid, because other than the low budget these films have nothing in common.
Same eyes as above--still not scary...or even entertaining.
The film, which was written & directed by soon to be very famous, Oren Peli owes its success to keeping things very simple. The action, or lack thereof centers around Katie, who has had strange visions & hauntings since she was young, and Micah her boyfriend who decides to purchase a video camera (which extinguished the entire production costs of this movie) to try and capture her experiences on tape.
Our Heroes.
The film takes its time getting started, and after about 25 minutes you may be questioning what all the hype is about. All of the night-time moments take place in the bedroom, where the tri-pod saddled camera ominously looks over the endangered duo. During the day, they examine what the camera has found and await another night of terror. Sure, they bring in a psychic who says they're being haunted by a demon, and yes, other story arcs come and go--but make no mistake, the important moments of this movie happen when the lights turn off and our characters go to bed.
I hope you enjoy this screen...because you'll be seeing it for the next 90 minutes.
Imagine for a moment, you wake up and find your loved one staring at you--pretty creepy right? Now imagine having that same person hovering over you, while possessed by a demon, for well over 3 hours in the middle of the night. The films scary moments start with a simple moving of a door, or flicking of a switch, but the last 30 minutes of the film have some of the most terrifying moments I've ever seen committed to film and the final cresendo left several people in the audience I was at sobbing (no exaggeration). You feel it coming, you get a sense for what may happen, and then you are still completely blindsided when the events unfold.
"I stood in that very spot watching you for three hours...that is the measure of my love for you."
Now I've already had people who have questioned the horror in this film, claiming they saw it and didn't find it to be that scary. Either these people are simply trying to prove a point, or that have more courage and fearlessness than Chuck Norris. Paranormal Activity is not without its faults--it can drag, and the daytime scenes tend to lack suspense since you know damn well they're safe until night falls.
"I was unimpressed by the level of horror in Paranormal Activity." -C.N.
However, if you are fan of quality horror movies (particularly those of the low-budget variety) you will find that Paranormal Activity is the best that has come around in years. It seems to understand the basic fact that 'things that go bump in the night' are far scarier than watching some idiot tweener get tortured for 20 minutes.
Oh...and enjoy trying to get some good sleep after you see it...
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