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laylor Blog

  • Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

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    Film Name  Production Year

    This movie has to be the most mind boggling, horrifyingly appalling movie I have ever had the misfortune of sitting through. This is cinematic brain murder and the only credit I can give it is that it is not easily forgotten. Like a McDonald's Double Big Mac it stays with you, making you nauseous, even after it has been consumed and should have gotten out of your system. 

      There are so many useless/embarrassing scenes/characters in the movie (e.g: Julie White vs Pot Brownies, Humanoid hot chick, Rainn Wilson cameo (why?!), Jetfire, the hyperactive, illiterate, jive talking negrobots (zzzzz...), Autobot Heaven (!!!?!), every scene involving John Turturro, etc) and an endless display of agonizing, loud action scenes that are really very difficult to keep track off. This movie reminds me of 1997's Batman and Robin in that it eclipses what little story there is (although one could argue that in this particular film there is just waaaaaay too much story), foregoes any attempt at the slightest bit of intelligence in favor of flash, gadgets, ridiculous sub plots and corroded attempts at humor. At the end of the most blistering 150 (!!!) minutes I have ever spent in a theater I felt as though I had just sat through the world's longest toy commercial and one of Hollywood's worst ideas. 

     Note: If you can, stay during the start of the end credits for a scene that means absolutely nothing at all to anyone with a shred of sense. Including a goofy scene that runs like an outtake is perhaps an attempt at crowd control: those who have been taken in by this drivel can stay, mouth still hanging open wide, to find out whatever became of Shia post-attempted robo apocalypse, and those who know what's good for them can file out, thinking of better things they could have spent their money on. 


  • "More like The Crappening" - A pretty good premise/Bad execution

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    The Happening  (2008)

    I have to say that this is a really bad, bad movie BUT I enjoyed it. It was hilarious, unintentionally I'm guessing. Everything from the dialogue to Mark Walhberg's tortured perfomance had me laughing. There are quite a few quotable lines from this movie: "She's going to the town of Princeton" = hilarious! Poor Zooey Deschanel is just drowning in this movie, as well. I have never seen such bad acting from her and it was slightly depressing. The deaths are kind of cool, considering the rest of the story is so silly people killing themselves is the main thing you have to look forward to. I kept wondering: What will he think of next?! It's pretty creative. I'm not going to get into it but there is a scene with two lions that is just ridiculous. It's cool and gratuitous (which is fun) but it's so awkwardly presented (seemingly tacked on only to assure an R rating) that I just had to laugh. People running away from the wind does not inspire dread but confused glances and giggles. Almost everyone in the theatre I was in was in stitches and some older gentleman, on his way out said: "Ugh, more like the Crappening". Well said. He looked generally upset to have spent $9.99 while I, on the other hand, forsee Midnight Movie potential for this film and will most likely see it again and again and...

     


  • London to Brighton

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    I can't rate this movie because I do not know if I even liked it. I spent the majority of this film feeling sick to my stomach and cringing. The performances were superb especially by Sam Spruell, who eerily reminded me of Gangster No.1's Paul Bettany throughout the film and Georgia Groome, thirteen years old at the time this was filmed (which helped make me feel even grosser). There are so many elements in this film that I liked: The story, the performances, the gritty backdrop but I did not like the characters. To enjoy a movie I have to want to spend time with the people on screen and I could not for the life of me even pretend I wanted to know these people. They're decision making process, moral compasses completely overwhelmed me. So that does not a bad film make but over twenty-four hours later I still do not know what to make of it.


  • Ghost Rider: A bit of Alright

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    Ghost Rider  (2007)

    I had an assignment to do for my Western Cinema class which was to pick a film that immediately did not seem like a Western but has elements of it at it's core. Rather than do the obvious and pick Serenity I picked another obvious film: Ghost Rider. The first time I watched it, I thought it was ridiculous. I thought that Wes Bentley was extremely miscast and not at all threatening, I thought Donal Logue's character was random and not given enough to do and I didn't like Eva Mendez very much either. After multiple viewings (for the essay) I softened a bit and while I still think those things, there are positive parts of the movie as well. Peter Fonda doing a pretty okay impression of his father, the action is pretty good (although it does take quite awhile to get to any real hint of a threat), Sam Elliot is awesome as always and I actually liked Cage's performance. I had my doubts about him at first because he's usually so hammy and distracting he sinks the picture right along with him but he actually pulled it off. I don't see myself watching this ever again, as I watched it around 4 times in the span of two weeks, but it's not the worst movie out there by any means and its an alright ride while you're watching it.


 

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