Kevin Smith has a sort of Clerks-does-Letterman interview style. He uses it mercilessly on some Hollywood women who love to make pain: Gale Ann Hurd (producer Terminator, Terminator 2), Lucy Lawless (Xena, Battlestar Galactica), Jaime King (The Spirit, Sin City), and Pia Guerra (Y: The Last Man).
Highlights:
- Lucy Lawless has more sex than Kevin Smith (obviously)
- A 16 year-old palm reader warned Lucy of Jay Leno
- Jaime King is named after The Bionic Woman
- Zach and Miri opens on Halloween
Liveblogging transcript after the jump
5:20 - KS and Jaime King:
KS reads a cue card question to Jamie King, then tells her not to answer it. “You did The Tripper with Jason Mews, right? Did he try to **** you? You’re not special, he does that to everyone. You’ve got two legs and a pulse.”
JK: Frank Miller is one of my closest freinds…
KS: Can you get me his autograph?
Jamie talks for a long time about how Frank Miller is “taking filmmaking to a whole other level.” (She’s basically giving the impression that she doesn’t know how to speak in non-publicist vetted language.)
KS: On The Spirit poster. “That’s a pimp campaign.”
JK: The Spirit doesn’t even come out until Xmas day, and its so great that people are actually putting effort into advertising something that I’m proud of.
KS: Note to self: if I ever put King in something, put her on the fucking poster.
5:15 - KS and Lucy Lawless
KS asks Lucy to tell story about why The Tonight Show calls their last take a “Lawless.”
She tells a story about how she was shooting something for them on a horse, and they said, let’s do one more take for insurance. She told them she couldn’t do it because the horse was American and she rides English. The horse threw her.
“I had been warned about this, in Turkey, two weeks before. A woman read my coffee grounds! She’s 16, she doesn’t speak english, it’s all through an interpreter. She said, ‘There’s a man with a big chin. Salt an pepper hair, big chin–he’s going to hurt you very badly.’ And two weeks later, I was all smashed up in a hospital from the Leno show. I was laid up for three months.”
KS: Did you sue the shit out of NBC?
LL: I was too stupid…I thought they’d never have me back on the show.
KS: You could have OWNED the show! Tonight Show with Lucy Lawless!
LL: It’s never been the same again. (Meaning the Leno show.)
5:10 - Kevin Smith and Gale Ann Hurd
Gale produced both Terminator and Aliens 2, early genre films with female leads.
Gale: We did call it The Terminator so it was a sneak attack: It starred a woman, but people don’t read scripts, so they thought it didn’t.
With Aliens, Alien had been a big hit, and the only surviver was Ripley So, it was a forgone conclusion that the sequel would star Sagourney.
But it’s still hard..I did a film called Aeon Flux, which I’m still very proud of (crowd cheers) even though the film failed miserably. So, they must have found it on DVD?
KS: As a producer who is also female, do you lean towards female material? What part wins out, the producer part, or the chick part?
Gale: I’m schizophrenic. I’m gender blind. Although I think Ray Stephenson is REALLY hot.
(KS and Gale talk for awhile about her Punisher origin movie)
KS: First scene, he kills Thomas Jane, you think?
5:05 - KS introducing panelists
Panelist Gale Ann Hurd’s “films have grossed over $1billion. What the **** is she doing here, then?”
(He’s taking a reeealllly long time to introduce everyone)
Introducing Lucy “Xena” Lawless, “Please don’t do the fucking yell, I’m sure she’s heard it.”
Now decides that “we should rename the panel Chubby Chasers. I’ll start things off by asking what I ask my male friends in The Business, ‘How much pussy do you get?’”
Lucy: I can get as much as I like, Kevin.
KS: Who were your fave female role models as a kid?
Gale: I’d have to say Tolkein
Lucy: Wonder Woman… I thought she was so much butcher. When I see her now, I’m like, you were shitting me. Bionic woman, that’s when they started thinking a female could carry an action series. And then they forgot for 20 years.
KS: They needed a lesbian like yourself.
Jamie King: I was actually named after Bionic Woman, Jamie Summers. I was really into Patti Smith, but it varied.
Pia Guerra: My first dog was names after Jamie Summers.
KS: Catfight!
(Pia and KS are sharing Jersey stories. Borrring.)
Lucy is bored too: Thats riveting conversation, Kevin. You got anything else on those cards?
KS: Moving on. Lawless is being a Diva!
4:55 - Kevin Smith is being introduced (and the man behind me is screaming very loud).
Zach and Miri opens on Halloween. Many cheers of “you’re my hero!”
Kevin Smith: Would it creep you out if I told you were my hero? I came to the con just to meet you and you fucking snubbed me. Welcome to Scream Like a Girl, I’m going to rename it Sweats Like A bitch, because it’s very hot.
Calls the Scream Awards “the awards show for people who don’t get laid.”
KS: Did anyone see the show last year? Didn’t Harrison Ford look fucking lost? He had that look like, “Oh shit.” Maybe that will be reflected in the clip we’re about to see.
Highlights of the scream awards…
Kevin Smith is fanning himself with his cue cards during the clip reel. It is pretty hot in here - that’s not just a chick joke. The reel ends with Robert Rodriguez, “**** the Oscars! I got a Spike!”
KS: Well, that was subtle…
Originally posted on:
SpoutBlog » Karina Longworth