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  • Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire

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    "Precious" is a small independent film about an illiterate pregnant teenager, the mother of a Down syndrome child who was fathered, as was the young woman's impending second child, by the teenager's mostly absent father, who is married, but not to her mother. The movie is a basic position-the-protagonist-at-the-absolute-bottom-of-the-pile-and-then-let-her-work-her-way-up-and-out-of-the-dark-to-some-kind-of-success-but-with-a-step-back-for-every-two-forward-though-you-can-see-she'll-eventually-make-it-which-brands-the-movie-a-feelgood-picture-even-though-you-feel-bad-during-the-rough-parts-and-worried-during-the-smooth-parts-because-you-know-more-rough-parts-must-be-coming-soon-type-of-film.

    That clunky title? Originally titled "Push," the movie generated buzz and has won 32 awards (last time I checked), including the Grand Jury prize and Audience award at Sundance and a Special Jury prize for Mo'Nique, plus a 15-minute standing O at Cannes. Lionsgate announced that it was buying "Push" on February 2, '09. On February 6, Summit Entertainment opened the Dakota Fanning sci-fi action flick "Push." Confusion at the box office ensued. Lionsgate then changed the title of its property from "Push" to "Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire" to avoid further audience problems while at the same time retaining the buzzworthy "Push" word where it could still be seen by moviegoers attuned to its festival kudos. Plus, the movie's director, Lee Davis, and the book's author, Sapphire, are tight; it took him more than 10 years to talk her into letting him do the movie, so maybe putting her name in the title was one more way to say thanks.

    I read Push and watched Precious (via a screener from the Spirit Awards) the first time through in parallel. My copy of the book is a short 140 pages and the movie runs about 110 minutes, so I'd read 14 pages and then watch 11 minutes of the movie. Later, checking out some reviews of the movie by folks who hadn't read the book, I could see how knowing the book helped me avoid some misconceptions about the intent of the screenwriter and director while watching the movie. More about this later.

    Sapphire (Ramona Lofton), variously a performance artist, poet, teacher in Harlem, and writer, was, I'm delighted to say, in her late teens and present in San Francisco as a hippie during the '67 Summer of Love, the passing and loss of which I was recently bewailing in my review of Tillsammans. Lofton chose the name Sapphire because she wanted to be taken as a scold, not a diplomatic individual like her mother; those of you familiar with Amos and Andy will recall the Kingfish's wife Sapphire, a scold indeed. I thought that Lofton might have had her in particular in mind when she chose the name, but she has said "Well, my given name was Ramona, and I just didn't have any use for it. I took the name Sapphire at the height of the New Age movement, when everybody was a gemstone. At one time in African-American culture, the name also had a very negative connotation. Sapphire was, like, the evil, razor-toting type of belligerent black woman, which was somehow attractive to me, especially because my mother was just the opposite."

    Precious, the eponymous protagonist in the film, was twelve, at the stove cooking, when her first labor began. When her mother realized what was happening, she knocked the girl down and kicked her hard in the head. The title "Push" references Precious' pain during the subsequent delivery on the kitchen floor. With her pushing came intense pain, pain similar to that attendant to her struggles in the film to emerge into the adult world (her teacher tells Precious to push herself, tells all of the students in class to push themselves, as they learn to read and write); or as Sapphire puts it, "Pushing is about that very basic, primal female energy of bringing forth life. There is something very aggressive and assertive about being a female. We're taught to be very laid-back and passive, but if we're to survive, if we're to move forward, we have to have that pushing energy."

    Sapphire moved to NYC in '77. She lived for 10 years in Harlem, and watched and listened to and taught a generation of kids as they grew up, kids whom she first knew as eight-year-olds, who were eighteen when she moved. She presents Push, the book, as the classroom writing exercise of a sixteen-year-old young woman who has recently elevated her literacy skills, though not uniformly, from those of a third grader to those of, approximately, a seventh grader. The book is a first-person narrative related in idiom, which Sapphire pulls off in stretches, sometimes long stretches, to good effect. Sapphire published her book in 1996 during Clinton's first term, looking back at the Reagan/Bush era in 1987. She wrote the book at the age of 46. She credits Alice Walker's "the Color Purple" and Toni Morrison's "The Bluest Eyes" as the two books that made "Push" possible, by opening the door to the subjects that it treats. "I saw a complete generation grow up while I was living in Harlem. I moved into a building in '83 and moved out in '93. The children who were seven and eight when I moved in were seventeen and eighteen when I moved out. I saw girls who had their first babies at fourteen. I listened to someone I had gone over a little primer with talking about her friend who got shot."

    The book is prefaced by two epigraphs: an inspirational passage from Wordsworth regarding the least of nature's works, and the Talmudic "Every blade of grass has an Angel that bends over it and whispers, 'Grow, grow.' In other words, whoever that blade of grass, that least of nature's works, turns out to be, she's going to make it in the end, one way or another. If any doubt of this remains, the book's first page includes "My name is Claireece Precious Jones. I don't know why I'm telling you that. Guess 'cause I don't know how far I'm gonna go with this story, or whether it's even a story or why I'm talkin'; whether I'm gonna start from the beginning or right from here or two weeks from now. Two weeks from now? Sure you can do anything when you talking or writing, it's not like living when you can only do what you doing. Some people tell a story 'n it don't make no sense or be true. But I'm gonna try to make sense and tell the truth, else what's the f**king use? Ain' enough lies and shit out there already?" Or, as I took this passage, "I've learned. I've learned to write and I'll tell you how, and by the way, anything in this life is possible."

    The Precious screenplay was written by Geoffrey Fletcher, 39, who graduated from Harvard and Tisch School of the Arts at NYU ten years ago, created some film shorts in the 90s, including "Magic Markers" in 1996, which John Singleton saw and suggested turning into a feature film. That never happened, but after years of trying to break into the business, writing while working at odd jobs, Fletcher received a call from Precious' director, Lee Daniels, who had seen "Magic Markers" too. Fletcher wasn't the only one to write a screenplay based on the book, but his adaptation was the one that Daniels chose. Challenge and reward. The chance of a lifetime. There is something in this story similar to the inspiration built into Push. Fletcher hewed close to the line in converting the book to screenplay. He produced a script faithful to Push in every way (with one misstep). Said Fletcher, "The book was perfect. It's hard to improve on perfection."

    This is a nice clip of him in modest-yet-delighted mode on the red carpet.

    Fletcher's screenplay displays the same modesty that he himself does on the red-carpet. He is gentle with the book and makes, I think, a satisfying decision in the film's first scene. I'm guessing that while not wanting to bookend the movie, he was looking for a way to adumbrate the fairy-tale happyish ending of story, as, I believe, Sapphire does in the book. The essence of the film is prefigured in the first sixty seconds exactly: a red scarf hangs from a lamppost in Harlem, 1987. A breeze dislodges the scarf and it drifts downward while the movie's protagonist, Claireece Precious Jones (Gabourey "Gabby" Sidibe), imagines that a beautiful woman, perhaps her fairy godmother, perhaps that Talmudic grass angel, is bringing the scarf to her and draping it around her neck as she stands smiling, neat and well-groomed. That is, Precious dreams, and the stuff of her dreams will be given to her by a fairy godmother, or the godmother's two stand-ins, a school teacher and a social worker, by the end of the movie. And in the other bookend, Precious passes the scarf on to another young and abused child like she had been, herself now a fairy godmother herself for her own and other children. Of course, these minutes of filmmaking were lost on me the first time around, but it's sort of neat to know that they are there to find later.

    Gabourey Sidibe is the core, the heart, the four elephants standing on the giant tortoise holding up the world of this movie. She was born in Bedford-Stuyvesant, raised in Harlem, daughter of a Senegalese cab driver, and she was 26 playing 16 when the movie was made. The director Lee Daniels is all about casting and on this one he went through a whole process with his ex-boyfriend Billy Hopkins (co-parent with Daniels of Daniel's nephew) to find the right Precious. Casting calls all over the U.S., American-Idol-like tests and auditions. Selection of 10 candidates, none with acting experience, all sent to acting boot camp. But meantime, Daniels wanted Sidibe's mother to audition for the mom role in the movie; Sidibe's mom is a street performer in New York. She declined to try out but sent Gabby over and David forgot all the rest and signed her up. (Or a friend called Gabby at college as she was cramming for an exam and told her about the chance to audition. Or both.)

    Lee Daniels, who is 50 now, has a story to tell. It's not all true but it's about the gay boy from the ghett-o. "I’m a little homo, I’m a little Euro, and I’m a little ghetto.”  Comes to L.A., gets a job as a receptionist in a nursing home, starts his own business. Manages some talent, including Nastassia Kinski. Raises some money for Monster's Ball. That's what he did and does, raised and raises money. More producer than director. Goes gangsta, and gets into casting. Took The Woodsman to Cannes (I recommend it); put Mos Def in it. He cast Def, Sean Combs, and Halle Berry in Monster's Ball, had to fight for Berry, and she won an Oscar for it. Mo'Nique denies that she said at the time, "why did he cast that skinny light-colored bitch?" but she's on record with it.

    Daniels also wanted to direct. I bailed when watching his first attempt a year or two ago, The Shadowboxer. That's the one where Cuba Gooding, hit man, is hooked up romantically with his dying stepmother, Helen Mirren; they're raising a child. Somewhere along the line, I maxed out on Gooding, maybe for good. I didn't take Shadowboxer seriously - didn't know anything about its pedigree and thought I was watching schlock (maybe I was; I'll probably never know, unless somebody dictates that I watch it again). Mirren says that she was walking down Houston Street one day, looking down watching for holes not to step in, and this wild looking dude with hair out to here came up to her, introduced himself, told her he loved her work, and that he had a movie part for her. In time, she signed up for it. She says that she loves working purple.

    That was Daniels' first movie. He'd been after Sapphire for years to give him the rights to Push and when she saw The Shadowboxer, she gave them to him. He didn't have an easy time finding the $$$ to let him direct again but the man can raise money. He scored 8 mil off an unlikely rich couple in Denver. After Push's success at Sundance, Oprah and Tyler Perry got on board and money ceased to be an issue.

    But I digress. Another word about Fletcher's screenplay: after the sixty-second opening, we see Precious in middle school, wearing the scarf, and she introduces herself in voiceover. Voiceover is Fletcher's initial solution to the problem of transferring 140 pages of first-person narrative to the screen. The difference is, for a page of narrative we might get a sentence of voiceover together with Andrew Dunn's visuals. I took the book's narrative and the movie's voiceover almost as internal monolog, thoughts that don't advance the action but build the Precious character. For example, Precious explains her situation in school: she's two classes behind, sits in class without speaking, fantasizes about the teachers, but first and foremost waits for change, hopes for change, questions why she's in the illiterate, stuck state that she's in. Watching her as a mostly unspeaking student at her desk in the back of class, it might be hard to guess at this turmoil in her mind, or at least to exactly impute to her the thoughts invested in her by Sapphire. I found myself at the outset automatically augmenting her sparse voiceovers in class and her silence in the principal's office that followed with feelings and a mindset that I imagined her to have. That's what we do with a character who doesn't say much, right? Furnish her with some interior dialog ourselves? The interior dialog I was providing, it turns out, minimized her anger, confusion, and angst, which is spelled out in the book.

    That is, in the first ten minutes of Precious, we see her (a) in math class, slugging another kid to maintain order, while telling us in voiceover that the teacher likes her and that she'd like to marry him; (b) in the principal's office, being expelled from school for her second pregnancy; (c) at home, cooking for her mother; (d) still at home when the principal comes from school to tell the two of them about a special program called Each One Teach One that would be ideal for someone with excellent math skills, like Precious herself.

    After I proceeded to invest Precious with that part of her persona not visible onscreen in (a), (b), (c), and (d), making her a teen with a gentle spirit, eyes perhaps not yet on the prize, so forth, I then read the first fourteen pages of Push. Samples that provide a glimpse into aspects of Precious Jones' actual mindset:

    (a) "First day, Mr. Wicher say, "Class turn the book pages to page 122 please." I don't move. He say, "Miss Jones, I said turn the book pages to page 122." I say, "Mutherf**ker I ain't deaf!" The whole class laugh. He turn red. He slam his han' down on the book and say, "Try to have some discipline." He a skinny little white man about five feets four inches. A peckerwood as my mother would say. I look at him 'n say, "I can slam too. You wanna slam?" 'N I pick up my book 'n slam it down on the desk hard. The class laugh some more. He say, "Miss Jones I would appreciate it if you would leave the room right NOW." I say, "I ain' going nowhere mutherf**ker till the bell ring. I came here to learn maff and you gon' teach me." He look like a bitch just got a train pult on her. He don't know what to do. He try to recoup, be cool, say, "Well, if you want to learn, calm down--" "I'm calm," I tell him. He say, "If you want to learn, shut up and open your book." His face is red, he is shaking. I back off. I have won. I guess."

    Precious maintains order in the class, but she can't read and every page looks like every other page in a textbook to her, unless there are pictures. She acts out with Mr. Wicher because she doesn't want him to know this. Underneath her toughness is worry and concern. But either Fletcher or I or both of us together softened that toughness in the book onscreen. So that while I watched Precious, heard what she said, saw how she acted, all the while, without quite being aware of it, as I say, her thoughts were being supplied by someone of different age, gender, education, and culture - me - furnishing her interior consciousness with these thoughts, constructed on the spot not by her brain but by mine. I imagined what she was thinking and feeling. Reading the book, told by her in the first person, she was obviously a great deal angrier, aggressive, confused, and, well, physically grounded, than what I was supposing out there in my seat. That is, Sapphire draws her so.

    (b) In the movie, in the principal's office, Precious says only that she's pregnant because she had sex and that it isn't fair that she's being expelled. My take, produced for her in my brain at that point: she's respectful, carried along by events. In the book: "I reached over the desk. I was gonna yank her fat ass out that chair. She fell backwards trying to get away from me 'n started screaming, "SECURITY! SECURITY!""

    (c) As I watched Precious take some abuse from her mother in silence onscreen, I figured she was just outclassed by the older woman, especially with Mo'Nique pulling out all the stops, whereas on page 11: "My hand slip down in the dishwater, grab the butcher knife. She bedda not hit me, I ain' lyin'! If she hit me I will stab her ass to def, you hear me!"

    (d) Finally, when the principal visits her home, in the book we get "That white bitch... that hoe... that c**t bucket..." In the movie  "I felt warm.." In the book "My heart is all warm - half of it at least - thinking about Mr Wicher say I'm a good student. The other half could jus' jump out my chest and kick Mrs Lichenstein's ass."

    My point here being that while newcomer Gabourey portrays Precious with a certain grace and Fletcher eases up on the language in the voiceover narrative, it's good to know how tough this particular cookie really is. Once she has a teacher and a social worker to talk to, the Push narrative backstory is transferred in large part to dialog. This means we wait till we're well into the movie to learn some of the facts of the case, facts that help us understand Precious and what she's had to deal with. It's halfway through the film, with her in the alternative school, that she awakens in her thoughts, comes to, understands for the first time that she's in fact lonely and has always been lonely, outside the circle, and that now, part of the time at least, at last, she isn't.
     
    Why did Daniels and Fletcher dial back the anger in the first half of the movie, which they did, along with the sex, Precious' disabilities, and her momma's proclivities? Too raw for a middle-class cineplex audience? Too heavy for the Oscar voters? Simply easier to make the movie with the larger bumps and spikes and sharp edges buffed down? The movie was hard enough to watch as Daniels made it, never mind trying to duplicate Push. I did notice that the first time through, I was paying more attention to the gory details, whereas the second time through I was more taken with, for example, the pacing in the first classroom scene with Ms Rain and the girls, which brought a lump to my throat. Or did Daniels and Fletcher dial it back? Maybe others in the audience picked up on Precious and her true mindset right from the jump, and for them the movie's mood in the first half was angrier and more chaotic than it was for me. Mo'Nique clobbering her daughter. How many pages of angry words is that worth? When Precious slaps around a classmate in the alternative class, what does the book have to match the sudden percussive energy that jumps from the screen? The movie eliminates a nightmarish shelter scene, yes, but replaces it with something even stronger: after her baby is born, in the book, Precious goes home but when she steps through the front door, her momma "charged me like fifty niggers" and she runs for it, never going back; in the movie, she goes in and lets her mom hold the baby, and the physical violence in the movie peaks minutes thereafter.


    FANTASIES

    Precious deals with stress by distracting herself with fantasies. The first of these in the book is related by her as she trances out on the street, thinking about sex with her father: "I fall back on bed, he fall right on top of me. Then I change stations, change bodies, I be dancing in videos! In movies! I be breaking, fly, jus' a dancing! Umm hmm heating up the stage at the Apollo for Doug E. Fresh or Al B. Shure. They love me! Say I'm one of the best dancers aint' no doubt of or about that!" Daniels uses the dancing but lightens up the initiatory cause, with Precious being pushed down from behind by a boy in the street.

    Later, when her teacher Ms Rain suddenly asks her to read: "All the air go out my body. I see bad things. I see my daddy. I see TVs I hear rap music I want something to eat I want f**k feeling from Daddy I want die I want die." Daniels stays right with it, gets experimental here with blurred images of Patton's mouth talking about reading, Precious' mother calling her a dumb bitch, images of pigs feet cooking on the stove, Precious' father on and over her telling her she's as good as her mother, baby, a TV screen. Daniels doesn't back off, except... Where sex is concerned, in movies as opposed to books, fantasy or no fantasy, my rule of thumb is that when the screenwriter, following the original author, starts describing the actual fluids involved (excluding There Is Something About Mary) and dripping, squirting, smearing, and ingestion therewith, we have left the main line and will find ourselves way over there in Unrated forget-that-Oscar territory. If the sex in the book were put onscreen, the director would be presenting visual material currently available only in movies produced in the San Fernando Valley. "A picture is worth a thousand words" is especially true when we're talking about gender-specific morphology. Daniels keeps the sex abstract.

    My other rule of thumb is, books are more familiar and comfortable with the hidden areas of the human body than cineplex and festival movies are: in the movie, before the first day of Precious' new school, she takes a shower and we see her hand reach out from behind the shower curtain to pick up the toothpaste and her toothbrush; in the book, "I go splash some water on my ass, which mean I wash serious between my legs and underarm. I don't smell like my muver."

    My other other rule of thumb is, Caligula bombed and Malcolm McDowell hasn't recovered from it since, Heroes and Blue Thunder notwithstanding: in Precious, mom is in bed, working it, and calls to Precious to come up and help out, and Precious starts up the stairs, complaining voiceover to indicate that she doesn't approve, scene ending with a decorous blackout; in the book, mom whacks Precious with a frying pan, makes her cook for two hours, makes her eat till she's sick, and then gets seriously inappropriate with her. (I'd have paid to watch Daniels and Fletcher deciding how to deal with this one. They settle for giving the audience a laugh by having Precious imagine that she's in Two Women with her mom, both speaking subtitled Italian.)

    Back to the idea that to explain Precious' mindset as presented in her Push notebook, and to sand down the sharp edges of the book, Fletcher, Daniels, and cinematographer Andrew Dunn choose to use images, along with some abbreviated voiceovers, to replace multiple pages of text. Is this effective? For example, Precious takes a placement test. Since she can't read, the test doesn't go so well. As she's walking away from the Hotel Theresa in the movie, she says "There's always something wrong with these tesses. These tesses paint a picture of me with no brain. These tesses paint a picture of me and my muver, my whole family, as less that dumb. As ugly black grease to be wiped away." This stands in for three pages of text explaining and then explaining again her feelings of emptiness, invisibility, and worthlessness. Does the job get done? I'm saying that Gabby and Dunn get it done here.

    In the book, once Precious' son is born and she continues to advance in school, the world beginning to open to her, her fantasies recede, to be replaced in moments of stress by the alphabet. Daniels and Fletcher are slower to let go. We get just a hint of her use of the ABCs to de-stress in the movie. Instead, when Precious escapes from her mother with her baby, her and Abdul both still in one piece, and she looks into a church and imagines herself singing with the choir, it's a nice scene, with terrific, moving music, but I don't think that it made any kind of dramatic sense. Movie's got some great music, though.

    And when her momma shows up with news of her poppa's death, and the cause of death, Daniels throws in a fashion-shoot fantasy. Again, no dramatic sense. By this time, nine months later, Precious is in another place. In the book, she stays present in this scene until later, and then hears a song as if in a nightmare, and despairs. Some critics found this particular fantasy sequence silly and pathetic. Ouch! Not pathetic in the least, but woefully misplaced.

    THE NEW BABY

    The baby Abdul arrives at the 60-minute mark and spends one quarter of the movie as a newborn and one quarter as a nine-month-old. Is the baby anything more than a prop or mcguffin in the film? The reason I ask is that I'm remembering those days and weeks and months that follow the birth of a new child. The diaper changing, the packing and repacking of the diaper bag, the scheduling, the domination of the lives of others by the new arrival. Newborns can rule the roost (pace Trainspotting). Perhaps not at first when the little things just sleep and eat, but once they begin to develop their little baby managerial chops, watch out. (If that's just my cultural experience speaking and in some cases a baby can arrive without making a ripple, then such a baby would automatically qualify as a prop in a movie, right?) Abdul keeps it strictly on the DL. In the book, when Precious learns that she's sick, she doesn't mention whether or not her baby is sick too, for 55 pages! It's how you know it's a prop; at least in the movie, that particular question is handled without delay, but in a way that allows the baby to remain a prop, not a character.

    If a baby is there so that its prop double can be pitched onto the floor with a thump by the evil momma, and so that its prop double can tumble down the stairs with Precious' prop double, whereas the scene doesn't even occur in the book, does the baby still count as a character? If Abdul is there to help illustrate the protagonist's psychic growth, does it still count as a person? Precious is spurred by Abdul's birth to move away from her mother, to further bond with her classmates and teacher, to promise to teach her son all the things that she's learned from a museum visit. She'll hang colors. She'll read to him every day. She'll put up pictures. She'll teach him to count. She won't be like her mother. She'll tell him that she's not dumb. And, yes, now she's starting to miss her first child, too. Meanwhile, she's got a backpack, a bag, and a bundle to carry. It's all a quibble, but it just made me smile to compare the little quiescent package onscreen to the semi-overwhelming actual presence of an actual nine-day-old. Whatever Precious does with Abdul offscreen, Daniels doesn't let it interfere with the story. Like in those romantic comedies where the protagonists have high-powered jobs, which they are shown doing for a couple of frames in the beginning, until the plot kicks in, after which, not so much.

    At the end of the movie, no denying, with Labelle singing It Took a Long Time on the soundtrack to jerk my tears, as Gabby walks down the street with Mongo and Abdul, I did notice that the boy was wearing some sort of rudimentary mittens that I thought were cool.


    INSPIRATION OR EXPLOITATION?

    I asked several folks leaving the theater what they thought of the movie, what they took away from it. Typical response: "Inspirational. Shows the triumph of the human spirit. That a girl with so much against her could keep going, could make it, even knowing that her days were numbered (this was 1987, when AIDs was a death sentence; no significant treatment), well, it tells you that we all have things to live for. That's just the way it is in real life and if Precious could make it, anybody should be able to." So is that the way it is in real life? A monster for a mother, an absent father who impregnates his daughter twice, total social isolation for the girl because of her tendency to trance out from the trauma - in the book, she explains how she would arrive at school, sit down at a desk in able to."

    Precious, illiterate, poor, abused by mom and dad - abused, reabused, and then chronically, habitually, serially, and with malfeasant malice aforethought abused - would go to school and sit in the back row paralyzed, and remain there until it was time to go home, urinating in place at least once a day. Her teachers, hearing the runoff, would at first be worried for her and caring, then pissed off (irony), while the principal would tell them, Just be glad she isn't doing anything worse. And I guess we know what that would be - where was I? Oh, right, older than all the others in her class, socially isolated by substance and circumstance, Down syndrome child, HIV, all visited on one resilient individual - Faced with this, would or could one in a hundred, or one in a thousand, keep it together and win out in the end? In other words, this movie will inspire me how and to do what?

    Does exploitation have to be volitional? And anyway, Daniels himself has said that he worried at Cannes that he was exploiting his people. What's the difference between exploitation and art? The idea behind exploitation cinema is to amp up any or all of the dramatic aspects of the material to drag us into the theater. "Good" and "bad" considerations with respect to artistic elements are not an issue. As a consequence of this focus on increasing the drama, exploitation films are rarely worth much, artistically speaking. So why are folks going to the theater to see Precious? The awards buzz? Or is it because they've heard how raw it is? Mo'Nique going over the top? Themes of incest and classroom drama? Daniels says, No, I wanted the abuse in there because my father beat me. Tyler Perry says that his father beat him. Oprah says that she was abused. Mo'Nique was abused by her brother for years. Hey, they're just getting the word out, they say. It's not about making a buck, although Daniels does say that Perry is the only black success story in Hollywood (what about John Singleton?) and he'd like to be the second; he'd like to make some real money. Lack of control of the arsenal of dramatic weapons in the service of testifying is not the same as cynically employing those weapons on the cheap to turn a quick buck.

    Also, let's remember that "Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire" is included in the movie's title: not some potboiler, but Push, winner of the Black Caucus of the American Library Association Literary Award, the Book of the Month Club Stephen Crane Award for the First Fiction Novelist Award, the Mind Book of the Year Award (UK), the New York Library Books for the Teen Age Award (pretty raw for teenagers?), nominated for the NAACP IMAGE Award for Outstanding Literary Work of Fiction. Fletcher wasn't starting with chopped chicken liver here.

    It's confusing, though. Matt Damon. Mathematical genius. Straightened out by Robin Williams and Affleck and Minnie Driver and Stellan Skarsgård...wait, what, he was in that? The guy is everywhere... Small movie, introduced at the end of the year. Wins the Oscar. And Stallone in First Blood - just leave the dude alone, but no, beat on him and beat on him until he's gotta win out. And now, Gabourey. Talented in math, according to Mr. Wicher. Able to learn to write, and write the award-winning Push, while having a baby and fending off Godzilla. How'm I supposed to know when they keeping it real and when they exploiting me? As I already said, talking about Fletcher dialing it back from the book: does that mean he's going anti-exploit or does it mean that Daniels wants to cross over to the non-exploitable, no wait, the exploitable audience to increase tix sales? It's a damned multidimensional spectrum of dramatic film values.

    Is the movie lurid (i.e., causing shock or horror)? It's hard to shock and horrify these days, but let's just say yes. Armond White says that Daniels has lurid purposes. Is the film's advertising and promotion sensationalist? Does it overstate the lurid subject matter (or a big star or special effects or sex or violence or romance), without reference to quality? Let's say no. Checking a list of greatest exploitation films, I find Blue Velvet. The exploitation label doesn't necessarily equal "poor quality."

    Should I take the exploitation arguments as straw men used by critics to display their choleric chops? "After this post-hip-hop freak show wowed Sundance last January, it now slouches toward Oscar ratification thanks to its powerful friends... Winfrey, Perry and Daniels make an unholy triumvirate. They come together at some intersection of race exploitation and opportunism. These two media titans — plus one shrewd pathology pimp — use Precious to rework Booker T. Washington’s early 20th-century manifesto Up From Slavery into extreme drama for the new millennium: Up From Incest, Child Abuse, Teenage Pregnancy, Poverty and AIDS. Regardless of its narrative details about class and gender, Precious is an orgy of prurience. All the terrible, depressing (not uplifting) things that happen to 16-year-old Precious recall that memorable All About Eve line, 'Everything but the bloodhounds nipping at her rear-end'...Daniels is hoisting his freak flag." [Armond White]

    White spills a lot of negative ink making his point, which seems to be that we can't trust the audience to appreciate the metaphorical hyperbole rampant in the movie. The audience he was sitting with at the New York Film Festival did not seem to get it, for example. But this seems sort of like hating on porn because it might turn some folks on. Armond, go watch Redacted with the Venice Film Festival audience again as punishment.

    Not to beat this to death, but among the critics' other concerns: "An impeccably acted piece of trash — an exploitation film that shamelessly strokes its audience's sense of righteous indignation." [Ed Gonzales] "In offering up their heroine's misery for the audience's delectation, they've created something uncomfortably close to poverty porn." [Dana Stevens] "In their admiration of Precious' strength and resilience, these people also implicitly accept the status quo." [Raina Kelley, being glass-half-hey-it-shouldn't-be-half-f**ing-anything!] "So to Sidibe, I say: Congratulations on Precious. And my hope is that you get a handle on your health." [Alicia Villarosa, telling Gabby that she's too damn fat] "Denigrates step-mothers, step-daughters, mice, pumpkins,..." Oops, that one's about Disney's Cinderella.

    So hold on. Is Precious character-driven? Because if it is, then it's probably not exploitative. Is that true or false? Whichever, yes, it is character-driven. Or at least, its main character is driven this way and that in an oscillatory way. "Precious" indubitably contains dramatic elements at a high pitch. Does this make the film an "exploitation" effort? Did I actually write "indubitably" and "at a high pitch"? Credit where credit is due! If somebody else wrote that and I cut and pasted it in my notes and then forgot that it wasn't mine, my apologies to you, whoever you are. Plagiarism is an ugly thing. In fact, I apologize at a high pitch! But to answer the probably plagiarized question, no, it does not make the film an exploitation effort, because if, as in "King Lear," for example, or "A Long Day's Journey into Night," the drama arises organically out of the plot and mise en scene (in the larger sense of the spiritual meaning of the emotional atmosphere of the piece) and the truth of this world, then artistic considerations can be applied to it, and this is the case with "Precious." I'm pretty sure I wrote that, because it sounds like pure bullshit, but Christ, who knows? If I did write it, I just made it up. But saying it another way, if mom cuts dad's throat because it's on a checklist, that's exploitation; if she does it because in the course of the action he really, really, pissed her off, that's art.

    If not exploitation material, then...poverty porn? First there was plain old porn, then torture porn, food porn, and now poverty porn. Is non-porn porn just a way of labeling our habit of pushing limits out far enough to make them cease to exist? So that poverty porn is no more than one more "Whoa, what was that?" Slumdog - was that just cartoon Tom-and-Jerry Roadrunner poverty? What distinguishes porn from legitimate artistic screwing? Is it about how you, the viewer, react to it? The greater the engorgement of the nether bits, the less the artistic merit? Whereas the greater the engorgement of the brain, the greater the artistic merit? That is, there isn't enough blood to go around, at least if you are normally endowed. (Male-centric argument alert.) So does this test apply to poverty, porn versus art? No, because we are dealing with the heart, hard vs soft, rather than the other parts, hard vs soft. If you heart softens, it's art; if your heart hardens, it's porn. How did my heart react to "Precious"? It definitely softened.
     
    Reminder: the movie dials back the sex and violence. Though, talking about shock and horror, that upchuck scene - the volume, the quantity - I'm wondering if that wasn't real? And how come in all my schooling I never had a teacher who was remotely like Paula Patton? Stand and deliver! What I'm asking is, is this exploitation, because where was MY teacher like that? I had, my word, how many teachers? But wait a sec, now that I think of it, my second grade teacher, she qualified. But we moved and moved and moved that year and I was in five different second-grade classes before ending up back where I started, by which time she was married and her name had changed and even in the second grade I knew what that meant. If I ever get a chance, I'd like to ask Daniels how he directed Paula Patton; for those of you who have seen the movie, she had those weird pauses throughout; let me know if you know why she was doing that.

    I did work with a couple of social workers who matched Carey in the movie, though. The eligibility workers were all normal human beings, but there were a couple of social workers who existed on a whole different plane of Paula Pattonesque zonedoutatude. In several interviews I've seen, Carey has been at great pains to explain that she isn't that ugly, thus ruining a good thing.

    Did Daniels cast Patton and Carey, glam, in part to contrast them with Gabby? No, he wanted Helen Mirren first for the social-worker part; his casting is all about personal connections, with Mirren, with Carey, with Mo'Nique. He made Carey promise to scour off the makeup before coming to work. She tried to sneak in a little blush once, without success. A little shadow was added under her eyes and on her upper lip, as befits a hard-working social worker. Returning to the question of imputing thoughts to the unspeaking, I had Carey in the place of the angels, unlike some others who took her as overworked, numbed-out, and on some level or other indifferent.


    WEIGHT

    So much for the mostly fat-blind/weight-blind portion of this review. Where does the protagonist's avoirdupois fit in? Most descriptions of Precious Jones, in book and movie, include the word "obese" or the word "fat." Contrariwise, I have yet to encounter a description of Gabourey Sidibe as fat. "Comfortable with herself," yes; fat, no... Uh oh. As I mention below, I just ran across "hippopotamus-like."

    For the record, Mo'Nique runs 260, Gabourey 325.

    So answer this. If I describe Precious with the words "illiterate," "welfare recipient," "sexually abused," and "fat," what is the relationship among these four words in your mind, or in the mind of the average viewer? How does that relationship differ according to who the viewer is? Why is that fourth adjective so often joined to the other three in movie reviews? Is that fourth adjective, the adjective of shape, tainted by its three neighbors? How is it tainted in text by its close association in other sentences with "unmarried teenage mother of two," Down syndrome," and "incestual abuse"?

    Answer: unconscious guilt by association.

    Let it be noted that Gabourey Sidibe does not wear a fat suit in the movie, but she did get some pregnancy padding in front. Sapphire has said that she made Precious fat as a dramatic device to increase her isolation. Isolation from her peers, we presume, but does that obesity also isolate her from some of those of us watching? I haven't heard Gabourey herself described as isolated. Sapphire is not fat. Daniels has said that he viewed fat people as unclean and not very smart, but that he has a heavy sister who always has a line of men waiting, and that since making this movie, his heart has changed, and he sees fat in a whole new, Shallow Hal light.

    I've let this review just sit around, and in the meantime, Gabourey in interviews has said the same thing: Hey, this could all be about a thin girl. Couldn't it? Huh?
    Check out Mo'Nique in Phat Girlz, if you haven't seen it, for an anodyne to the fat-lashing on display here.

    In the book, Precious is big, but her mother is bigger, adding to the domination, her mom making Precious eat, beating her up. In the movie, not so much. Gabby looks like she could handle Mo'Nique ok if she got her wind up.


    RACE

    So much for the mostly color-blind portion of this review. If issues of race have crossed your mind more than once or twice while reading the text above, don't blame me. Comes now the portion where a writer of one racial background contemplates the racial elements of an artistic creation suffused with the spirit of a racial group not his own. In addition to Sapphire, Fletcher, Daniels, Gabourey, Mo'Nique, Paula Patton, Carey (has a black grandfather), Kravitz, and Mary J. Blige on the soundtrack, Oprah and Tyler Perry got their names added to this project as well. That's a black movie. (However, the first $8 million for the movie was coughed up by Sarah Siegel-Magness and Gary Magness, who are not African-American. Cinematographer Andrew Dunn and editor Joe Klotz aren't either.)

    I was raised in the Jim Crow South, where, for example, little white kids avoided black drinking fountains in the same way that they would avoid an unclean toilet (well, except that the country boys would take comics to read in the outhouse whereas town and village boys, when they encountered an outhouse, got in and got out as quickly as they could, due to the black widows down in the hole), so I figure that the deeper regions of my cortex have probably been permanently compromised by that growing-up experience, for which reason I misdoubt my judgment when dealing with subjective matters of race. Nevertheless, questions remain to be asked here.

    But my God, has it come to this? I've got to pussyfoot? How'm I going to write my Raisin in the Sun review? How'm I going to criticize Wong Kar-Wai when I need to?

    Does this movie reinforce outdated black stereotypes? Daniels has said that he felt a little embarrassed at Cannes on that account, felt that he didn't want to exploit his people, but then decided that post-Obama, it was ok. Variety: "Claireece's face is a monument to the racial crimes of the past 400 years." Huh? Wha? The movie opens with Precious sitting in a classroom full of faces, mostly African-American. Were they all monuments, or just her? Did all the rest of them fail to board the racial-crimes boat? Or is Claireece's physiognomy lurking back there like a damn Easter-Island statue, a historical reminder as the rest of us move on? But no, yeah, let me look across my office here at Ben's black face. Yes, hmm, yes... It could be a monument to racial crimes, too, even though Ben came out head of his Harvard Law class and his grandfather owns an island and everything on, in, under, and above it, and the foothills all around. But Ben's got a receding hairline too young, and somebody broke his nose playing football.

    Repeating a paragraph from above, if I describe Precious with the words "illiterate," "welfare recipient," "sexually abused," and "black," what is the relationship among these four words, in your mind? Why is this fourth adjective so often joined to the other three in movie reviews? Is that fourth adjective, the adjective of race, tainted by its three neighbors?

    Answer again: unconscious guilt by association.

    If the protagonist is obese, illiterate, poor, and abused, and happens also to be black - blacker than anyone else in the movie, in fact - is that a casting happenstance of no import, or a statement by the director? If a statement, what statement? Sapphire, Fletcher, and Daniels are, inescapably, telling a tale about those to whom they have cultural connections. Daniels in particular goes on about coming from the ghetto, even though he didn't. Sapphire has said that she made Precious as unattractive as possible in order to rule out any romantic
    considerations and to isolate her as much as possible. Naturally I immediately googled "Gabourey's boyfriend" but got
    no hits. (Later: while this review languished, yes, now she's got a boyfriend. And she's wearing Tadashi Shoji. "Ashley Olsen hugged me for a long time - like rubbing my back and everything - and said, 'I am so proud of you.' How cute is that?...God, there are so many hot dudes in Hollywood right now. I'm such a fanny, fanny girl. Bradley Cooper. How hot is he?...I heard a rumor that President Obama knew who I was. You know, because Oprah is all up in his shizz, so I think that he might be aware of me." Fame has come to Gabby. And she's now saying some of the same stuff I say here.) But I don't remember a single instance anywhere, in the trades, in reviews, anywhere, where Gabby herself is described as unattractive, or even as "fat" or blacker than most. Harper's uses "overweight." Note: Daniels has said that he is prejudiced against African Americans darker than he is. Precious' take: "She lighter then some Spanish womens but I know she black. I can tell. It's something about being a nigger ain't color."

    So, "fat" and "blacker" are to be taken as pejorative?

    A sixteen-year-old finds herself facing adulthood with two children and no resources. She is bound by her illiteracy, poverty, and mental confusion, caused by years of parental abuse and educational neglect. Now, by her own efforts, fortitude, intelligence, and luck, she takes steps toward, what, improvement, a better life, self realization, spiritual and intellectual growth, hope. Is the message then "Even if you're fat, poor, illiterate, and black, there is still hope?" What's wrong with that message? What if you're slender, middle-class, literate? Does color still matter? How about fat, poor, illiterate, and brown, yellow, red, or white? Help me out here. Is the message: One hundred and fifty years of continued racism by the white majority following the end of the Civil War has led to Precious' condition, but, bad as that condition may be, it is not irreversible in a case or two, here and there? Does it matter that the teacher who helps Precious is cafe au lait in color? Daniels take on the black question is to say that the movie reflects his own life, in the sense that his uncle killed people and all black people are not good.

    Would this sort of racial shorthand still be true if used in a movie about any other race, or is it a black-only thing? Would I let my own race off the hook when encountering a race tag in conjunction with, say, "trashy," "cheap," and "drunk"? Do several centuries, or millenia, of racial injustice and persecution and immigration affect the answer? Basically, does Black bring anything specific to this movie? If the author, playwright, director, and stars were all white Iowans, would the story change? We get a snapshot of Harlem and one aspect of life there, as we might of Omaha, say; there are without doubt economically challenged areas in Iowa.

    My guess: race doesn't matter in this movie, in any of the senses I've just mentioned, even though racism in plenty still exists in the U.S.

    It's a black movie, though, and a New York Harlem movie. Precious' alternative school is located in the Hotel Theresa, which was a cultural center back in the '50s and '60s. The hotel is located at the corner of Adam Clayton Powell Jr. Boulevard and Martin Luther King, Jr. Boulevard (7th Avenue and 125th Street). It was the first major hotel to accept black guests (true or false?). Fidel Castro stayed there when he came to speak at the U.N. James Baldwin said that a black person growing up in Harlem doesn't hate white people, just doesn't know who they are. Precious doesn't leave her neighborhood until she's sixteen, when she takes her first trip downtown to the incest survivors' meeting. The movie is idiom-strong; the language will age out, not to the detriment of the film, we hope.

    In the theater where I saw Precious the second time, the audience was two-thirds white, one-third black. Whenever Mo'Nique did something especially horrific, the two-thirds cringed and the one-third laughed. One possible explanation for this reactive bifurcation: the white audience was all oh my god life in the ghetto, whereas the black audience recognized an over-the-top fairy tale and savored Mo'Nique's rendition of the wicked mother in it. Extreme white reaction is to be found in a number of right-wing tea-bagger reviews of Precious: "Aha! Just as I thought! The movie should be re-titled 'Better Off Dead.'" No sense of humor.

    While I was procrastinating: "Worse than Precious itself was the ordeal of watching it with an audience full of patronizing white folk at the New York Film Festival, then enduring its media hoodwink as a credible depiction of black American life. A scene such as the hippopotamus-like teenager climbing a K-2 incline of tenement stairs to present her newborn, incest-bred baby to her unhinged virago matriarch, might have been met with howls of skeptical laughter at Harlem’s Magic Johnson theater. Black audiences would surely have seen the comedy in this ludicrous, overloaded situation, whereas too many white film habitués casually enjoy it for the sense of superiority —and relief — it allows them to feel. Some people like being conned." [Armond again - Well, Armond, I've got one data point that says you got that right.]

    I spent a couple of years working in AFDC back in the 70s. One client that I remember out of thousands was a young woman who came in for the first time to provide some verifications or other - maybe she needed a social security number for her unborn baby or a note from her mother that she was paying rent.  Anyway, the young woman showed up at the branch office where I was working that day, listened to me for a second or two, and interrupted to say, "why are you putting me through all these changes?" (Slang at the time for "Why are you hassling me?" Seems like I don't hear about "changes" much anymore.) She was third or fourth generation in the program and her grandmother and mother both had active cases at the time. I said, "It's just that every once in a while you're required to update the proof that you're eligible." "Proof that I'm eligible?" she said. "I've been proving that I'm eligible since I was born. When do I get to stop?"


    GENDER   

    In addition to these questions about body type and race, what is this movie - scripted, directed, shot, and edited by dudes - saying about women? Everyone in the movie is female, except for a bit part for a math teacher and Kravitz showing up briefly as a male nurse. And a glimpse of the dad in a fantasy, of course. And a couple of dudes hanging on the street, ready to push Precious down just when she's getting excited about alternative school.

    Sisters keeping a sister down, helping a sister up, men out there somewhere, mostly just f**king things up.

    “I made this movie for my girls," says Daniels, referring to the actors, I think. "People read so much into Precious. But at the end, it’s just this girl, and she’s trying to live."

    Brother helping a sister up.

    I wondered during the movie why Precious several times acted mean to a young girl in her building. It's so that later, in the final scenes, when Precious writes that she'd like to be thin, light-skinned, with long hair, and Ms. Rain writes back that she, Precious, is beautiful just as she is, and she looks in the mirror to confirm it, she can signal her complete transformation to the good by passing on her magic scarf to that young girl (who now has a black eye and a mean, heavyset, Mo'Nique knockoff of a mom) she had blown off before.

    Sister helping a sister up.


    WRAPUP

    "Did it make you cry?"

    Now, some will say, well, it was horrific, but I didn't connect to Precious on an emotional level. Yes. That was me the first time. It's like a ferris wheel. The first time is all about the view; the second time is about the person sitting next to you. The first time through the movie, during the ups I dreaded the downs that I knew were coming, cause the drama was constructed that way and everybody knew it. It's like if you went to the Roman Coliseum in the old days and watched one gladiator kill another and you don't connect to it on an emotional level because you've seen it before, but then you go home and watch it again on the Roman Empire Sports Channel where you get some backstory on the contestants, and then watch the fight again in slo-mo and even though you know how it's going to come out, the closeups and the interviews with the dead guy's mom and dad and wife or wives and kids and grizzled old Burgess Meredith trainer... well, you just get choked up a little.

    When Precious leaves her mother's home - or flees from it, with household objects bouncing off her, halfway through the movie, some energy goes out of the film; the second half isn't as tight or harrowing as the first. Same as Snow White needs the evil queen, Precious needs Mo'Nique. Fortunately mama returns twice, to drop the bomb needed to counteract Paula Patton's sweetness and light, and then to perform her Oscar-winning monolog.

    Observations:

     - With this performance, Mo'Nique joins the Ellen Burstyn Look-how-bad-I-can-look-without-makeup-or-anything Requiem club.

     - Those who had problems with this movie all seemed to take it literally, but I just watched So weit die Füße tragen (2001), in which an escaped Nazi prisoner walks across Siberia and then takes a hard right to Iran (long walk, took years), and that was a true story, so maybe this isn't a fairy tale after all.

     - Gay issues get a nod, as Precious puzzles over a lesbian classmate that she likes plus her lesbian teacher dandling her son, vs her learned prejudices - courtesy of Sapphire and Daniels, both professedly bi.

     - Workfare takes a hit.

     - "Oscar Bait" - A film released during the last two months of the year with a big cast and "important" subject matter to attract the attention of the Academy. (Urban dictionary)

     - Favorite passage in Push: "I want to live so bad. Mama remind me I might not. I got this virus in my body like cloud over sun. Don't know when, don't know how, maybe hold it back a long long time, but one day it's gonna rain."

     - Book and movie together, greater than the sum of their parts.

     - There are an awful lot of homeless, addicted, and mentally-ill folks out there and that's no fable.

    At the same time that I saw Precious, I also saw Sugar and Le Grande Voyage, two movies that present the human condition in a world full of humans of many types, no bad guys but plenty of poverty, struggle, and spirit, with the gentle but demanding message that we are each a part of some greater whole, from which we take but to which we owe. Switching from the grace of these films to Precious, where the glass is more than half empty, prompts me to reopen the question of exploitation. I'm thinking that Fletcher the playwright backed off Push as much as he could, perhaps in search of the soul found in these other movies, perhaps just writing like a middle-class guy. A theory: the less that happens in a movie, the deeper the meaning, down to a certain minimum of happeningness, beyond which meaning begins to fade away again. Examples: Independence Day - a lot happens; it means nothing. Le Grande Voyage - a lot of driving; arguments; humanity; deep meaning. Sleep - the Andy Warhol film in which John Giorno sleeps for five hours; it means nothing. And Precious? Stuff happens, maybe a little bit too much stuff; but meaning is there, plenty of meaning. Is the story creditable? Not relevant. This isn't about real life. The writer, screenwriter, and director have constructed a parable or folktale or work of art meant to demonstrate a triumph of the spirit, and that it does. Question: can a parable contain as much meaning as life itself onscreen?

    I'm personally awarding Gabby and Mo'Nique prizes for their work in this movie. Oscar nominations will surely follow. Mo'Nique does such a great monolog at the end of the movie that several folks I talked to said that she showed her humanity and her previous actions could now be understood if not forgiven. I noted the names of those who said this, as I plan to borrow money from them soon. There are stretches in the book and movie that make that evaluation impossible for me, including Mo'Nique's manipulative behavior during that monolog (in the book monolog, she allows Carl the daddy to remove the Pampers and proceed; Daniels didn't make Mo'Nique go that far). Sapphire wrote the mama and Daniels filmed the mama as such a monster that no sad monolog can save her. But! That final scene in the welfare office should end with Mo'Nique standing up and accepting the statuette. It's designed for that. Even better than Viola Davis' monolog, nominated for similar reasons.

    The final scene, with Precious carrying Abdul and holding little Mongo by the hand, walking down a crowded street with the faintest smile, Labelle singing It Took a Long Time, yeah, I teared up a little. And then the dedication: "For Precious Girls Everywhere."


  • Tillsammans (Together) 2000

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    This is actually a review for Tillsammans,  not the flick shown to the right.

    Tillsammans is a well-made sorta-comic sorta-serious feelgood ensemble drama about a communish collective located in a Swedish suburb in 1975. The collective, Tillsammans (Together), includes your couple experimenting with an open relationship in a building with thin walls, your newly-minted lesbian, your gay man, some unhappy kids, a woman taking refuge from her abusive husband, neighbors of antithetical mood looking on, politics, a woman airing out her apparatus due to a fungal infection, a man airing out his apparatus because the woman is airing out hers, so forth. Ironically, these folks become less and less together at first, but then the plot does a volte-face, with togetherness increasing amongst the group now on a deeper level than before, new connections made that everyone in the movie, kid and adult, has been missing, wants, and needs. I cannot vouch for the verisimilitude of the representation of this collective; writer/director Lukas Moodysson was only six in 1975, but perhaps he was present at the scene at that age, now revisiting his memories through his script. Perhaps that's the reason for the movie. Perhaps Moodysson interviewed his parents for insights into the 70s.

    I've seen Tillsammans three or four times over the past nine years and it holds up. The characterization is paper thin: all that you need to know about each member of the ensemble is sketched in moments as the soapish plot advances. But given that the dreaded staring-off-into-space motif is so often used these days to signify unknowable depths in a protagonist, who needs characterization?

    Several quick points about the movie:

    - It was made in Trollhättan. Which I thought was located on Discworld or in Middle Earth.

    - Trollhättan here is standing in for a Stockholm suburb. It also stood in for rural Washington State in "Dancer in the Dark." Moodysson isn't doing dogme here, but the grainy photography, close-ups, and handheld photography remind of Von Trier and Scandinavian guerilla filmmaking, at least until the humor in the film emerges, a minute or two in.

    - The writer/director's first film was titled "F**king Amal."

    - A line about Baader Meinhof was left out of the subtitles. Conspiracy???

    - It's possible that throughout the 50s and 60s, and maybe the early 70s as well, the only Swedish movies I saw were Bergman's. I skipped "I Am Curious Yellow," reports of boredom outweighing my prurient interest. So now, years later, the sound of onscreen Swedish dialog still triggers Pavlovian expectations in me of conversations that plumb the depths of the human puddle of the soul. So maybe I invested the collective members of Tillsammans with more gravitas than they actually had earned during my viewing. I remember going out on a dinner date once with a young woman who had a strong Swedish accent, and it was the weirdest thing. As I sat across from her, I kept dropping into monologs about winter, Olaf Palme's murder, Fårö, the bare trees with their bare branches, my chilblains, the cold drafts in the empty chapel where I prayed in the face of the stubborn divine silence, after cracking the ice on the water bowl in my bedroom, only to abrade my thighs with a frozen washcloth. And this was at a luau on Kauai, mind.

    - I don't recall shopping bags having paper handles yet in the 70s, as depicted in the movie. Also, the VW bus looks like it would look now, not then.

    - I've heard it said that Eva, the fourteen-year-old in the movie, is the most adult of all the characters - an opinion that evidently originated with someone who has never lived with a fourteen-year-old girl, and mistakes angst for insight.

    - It is not good to hear your partner experiencing her first orgasm when you aren't in the room with her but she isn't alone.

    Anyway, a collective is a group the members of which share a common goal. In the case of the Tillsammans collective, the goal is political, or was in some year or other before the action begins. Hence the opening scene of joy at the news of Franco's death. Hence one of the collective's children being named "Tet," after the offensive. Meanwhile, a commune is a group the members of which share a common purpose and join together to be with others who share similar tastes, thoughts, and desires.  Tillsammans, though the point is never made explicitly in the film, seems to be transmogrifying from collective to commune as the movie progresses... or no. Now I'm thinking that Moodysson simply chose the collective setting as a convenient way to stage an ensemble drama, or a soap opera. The commune truths that I personally experienced are barely nodded to in the movie. (Moodysson has gone on to write/direct five more movies, none of which I've seen.)... Or no. Now that I come to think of it, many of the interactions in the movie actually do hinge on the facts of collective life. E.g., reassigning the relaxation/meditation room for use by a non-collective outsider; dealing with the group member who won't do the dishes; solidarity in the face of opposing opinions... But hey! Wait a second. I just realized that this movie, made in 2000, presents the 1975 collective as if the whole concept of collective action, born in the 1960s (actually it's been around since humans were fighting off the tyrannosauruses), has past, so that these guys are, well hell, saps for soldiering on, though Moodysson obviously cares for them (music by Abba) and probably didn't mean for them to seem like saps. No, they aren't saps; it's hard to make a Swede look like a sap; a dolt, maybe, but not a sap.

    What's the difference between a soap opera and a legitimate dramatic creation based on solid characterization, anyway? The characters in Tillsammans grow and change in the course of the film; most evince conflicting characteristics within themselves, so forget what I said above about their paper-thinness.  Most of the characters embody opposing ideas within themselves, automatically making them seem more real. And they deal with emotional issues emotionally, but with enough restraint to avoid bathos. There are plenty of characters, though, so a cinematic lick and a promise must often suffice in defining them via the action.

    I was 16 when the 60s began and 26 when they ended. At the time, the creation and growth of communes in the U.S. seemed like a natural development in the cultural evolution of human society - a cultural maturation of 50s on-the-road into 60s pulling-off-onto-the-shoulder-and-then-taking-a-hard-left-out-into-the-Upper-Sonoran-wilderness consciousness.
    I began my part in this by sharing peyote at a hot springs with a lot of other naked sojourners, thence moving on to communal life. I take the subsequent history of the togetherness movement, from the 70s to the present, as a metaphor for my life. My time in the commune began with my participation in a triangle-type relationship, but it turned out that the legs of the triangle were of unequal length. Also, it seemed that we kept slipping into two-against-one mode, and for this reason I reached out within the community to transform the triangle into a square - well, a trapezoid really, because once again I didn't properly address the leg-length issue before acting. This caused the two-against-one dynamic to transmogrify into a three-against-one situation. Then, the fifth leg that we (I) added created, switching metaphors, a healthy hearty four-legged beast with an unhealthy unhappy wagging tail. Neurasthenically wagging, a downhearted drooping wag-twitching tail. Long story short, for every individual in the commune, multiple relationships are possible, but for one or two of the individuals it can be difficult finding a grouping that doesn't leave you shucking the damn corn and shelling the damn peas while your groupmates are noisily making the sign of the multi-sided yam out back in the yurt.

    So how could communes and ashrams seem so natural, so normal, so necessary to one generation only to then practically evaporate, leaving hardly a trace in the decades that followed. What, it was only a fad? The ideas wore out? Who's to blame? Reagan? The rise of the NFL? The defeat of Communism? How have the young gone about dropping out and rebelling since then? As per mumblecore? Or by scoring high on their SATs and leaving for college, only to return home after graduation to clear the stuffed animals off the bed and move back in until those darned lagging unemployment indicators turn around again? The communes were wiped out by the materialism of the 80s? They were simply impractical? These experiments in cooperative living - all failures? Reagan did turn off the community-action spigot in the first year of his reign; that didn't help, but it didn't surprise anybody, either. And how come we've got to live through yet another set of stupid wars without even getting a summer of love to go with them? It's an outrage.

    I googled for area communes and discovered one listed right across town, out beyond the tank farm. I went over for a visit after reading the commune specs online: one man, one woman, one boy, one girl. If I join, we will share labor, take our meals together, start a garden after breaking up the concrete covering the backyard, and share spiritual searchings and mingle our chakras after the kids fall asleep at night. The man asked me if I had a sledge hammer and wheelbarrow. I said yes. The woman asked me about my seeds.

    So if you grow up in a decade, does that make it, and the decades just before it, seem special? Do the 50s and 60s just seem special to me because that's when I was young? Do the 80s and 90s seem unique and distinct to you now, dear reader, if that's when you were young? While to me, the years from 1980 to 2009 are mostly an undifferentiated blur? The young, as the communes died out, abandoned free love, extended group families, and radical democracy in favor of what, the blur? Not in favor of the weblike internets, which took a while to arrive; though I did send my first email in 1981. Whole Foods? Drowning polar bears? Facebook as the new commune? Or, wait, did society just subsume everything that used to make a commune seem unique? By Jupiter, am I sitting here in the middle of it? The Big Commune?

    How can there be no hippies but the proverbial "aging" hippies? What currently replaces the hippie urge? I googled "internet commune" with high hopes, dashed. The "Internet Collective" is, ugh, incorporated. Drug use? No, that's so high school. Clothing easiness? Hey, I'm at work as I finally write this and you should see me. Those glimpses of commune life in "Into the Wild," are they just Sean Penn's surmise? Times are supposed to be hard; doesn't that mean that there are plenty of post-college youth out there with nothing to do, not to mention boomers flashing back to their youthful roots, and disaffected x- and y-gen unemployed? Are intentional communities  and  unschooling programs and suchlike anything more than just notions?

    And my God, I just realized something else. The greatest literary influence of my youth was "On The Road." I hitchhiked to school every day. I hitchhiked back and forth across the U.S. and Canada multiple times. I hitchhiked up and down Mexico. "Two-Lane Blacktop" resides in my Top 5. But where have all the hitchhikers gone? Not to communes, that's for sure. The only hitchhikers left are the serial killers, and they're just doing it until somebody makes a movie about them after they've been executed. The nation has lost its way.

    Why no hitching? Hitchhiking can be an important rite of passage. How many hitchhikers in "Into the Wild"? One. Emil Hirsch. What's getting in the way? Improvements in mass transit? I don't think so. Affordable gasoline? Nope. Rattletraps you can buy for peanuts? They hardly exist anymore outside of Cuba, not like the "iron" you could used to buy. Bicycles? Nope - those helmeted, costumed figures peddling along in the bike lanes are not lapsed thumbers. Freeways? And who is more afraid of whom now, between driver and hitcher? These days, as the hitchhiker climbs into the car or truck that has pulled over and sits idling, with its ominously tinted windows, will that passenger climb out later still in one piece?

    An hour later: OK, I called my friend Jane. I've known Jane for ten years and was sort of aware all that time that her living arrangements were somehow out of the ordinary, but I never asked her for details. Turns out that she lives in a house with a name like Glow Lobster Aura or something, owning 1/8 of it and dedicated to a type of community living that involves sharing a variety of things that I for one tend to keep to myself. As I asked her about the current state of collectives, group homes, and communes in the area, she took me on a verbal tour of co-housing and alternative lifestyles locally that amazed me. Turns out that I know more folks involved in non-traditional lifestyles than I would ever have guessed. Dreams endure, though transmuted by time into modern forms. Dreams, but also the reality that living together is not easy, like married life is not easy.

    But I digress.

    When Moodysson made "F**king Amal," Ingmar Bergman announced that a new master had been born. Tillsammans strengthened Moodysson's reputation. Since then, he's written a TV movie and written and directed five more films. After two additional arthouse flicks, he brought forth a couple of real head-scratchers ("A Hole in My Heart" and "Container"), and most recently, his first English-language effort, the globe-trotting "Mammoth." Tillsammans won various awards, including the Audience Award at the South by Southwest Film Festival. Moodysson is always interesting, but I'd say that at 40, we all hope that his future still ahead of him.

    The movie's lesson: let's all move to Sweden, where everyone, no matter how nutty he or she may sometimes seem (refer to my next review for an analysis of Elin Nordegren), is in fact way saner than Americans are, or at least way saner than my gun-toting, tea-bagging, Palin-lovin American neighbors next door. (But I'm only raggin on the G.O.P. because I'm frustrated trying to find a good big solid incorporated Republican commune with a good big solid commune president who would keep us focused not on the weak sisters in our group but on America, love it or leave it, goddamnit, and on the uranium-mining business that our commune would operate, and on the commune's goddamned bottom line.)

    Thanks to Zarodinu for the dictate.


  • Win big $$$ playing games

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    E-@thletes  (2008)

    Jonathon Boal and Artem Agafanov made the documentary E@thletes at a time when competitive team-gaming seemed ready to expand into a new world of professional competition. The film presented, at the time they released it, a cutting-edge view of two teams out on the road, just before both teams joined a new league. By the time I watched the movie, league play was already into its second season and the film had become, for me, a how-it-all-happened tale. By the time I began writing this review, the league was out of business and team gaming had returned to the state it occupied before Boal and Agafanov began their documentary. And now, much later than that, in the midst of an economic slump, I have no idea how electronic gaming, competitive or otherwise, is faring. Holy cow. Will anyone ever see the movie? Will anyone ever read this review? If I fall over in the woods, will anyone ever hear me go?

    Whatever. Video-game revenue outstripped cinema ticket sales long ago, and then passed DVD rental sales. Companies spend millions developing new games, betting that one hit will pay for all their flops and make a profit for the company. Innovation is somewhat restricted these days by corporate rules, but it creeps in once and a while anyway. Amateur developers can now create new games using free tools, and deploy them to consoles and handhelds, not just desktops. Prize-winning opportunities for kids playing video games began to increase as gaming revenues increased. Even with the huge dip in revenue during the 08/09 recession, year-to-date totals at the end of July, '09, stood at $8.16 billion. A huge, young demographic with plastic in its back pocket is whiling away the Generation Y hours in cyberspace, guns and other weapons in its paws.

    e-@thletes highlights one consequence of the sloshing about of gaming dollars back in 2006 - the growth in pro gaming. The film follows two teams of young men paid to hit the road and compete at tournaments offering cash prizes to the winners. Ever been on one of those 5-day, 32-country tours? The movie includes a team tour of China with a film montage of, say, 10 cities in 100 seconds. (More than 100 Chinese cities have a population greater than one million, by the way. America has 9. The 100th largest city in the U.S. is Boise. Lot of folks living in China.) And speaking of seconds, the filmmakers shot something like 20 hours of film at a tournament and cut it down to less than 60 seconds for an opening clip in the movie. The filmmakers were in their early twenties when they made the movie; Boal began it as a final film-school project. Micro budget: some money from Intel for services rendered; travel and motel costs picked up by one of the teams; some money from dad. In seventy zippy yet professional minutes, the film interleaves interviews with the members of two Counter-Strike teams, their parents, scenes of team travel, competitive gaming action, and the obligatory talking heads - six of them.

    Counter-Strike is a first-person shooter video game that pits a team of counter-terrorists against a team of terrorists in a series of rounds. Each round is won by either completing the mission objective or eliminating the opposing force. First-person shooter (FPS) games are a genre featuring weapons-based combat viewed as if seen through the eyes of the player." That is, on one level, E-@thletes is a frag movie that features shooting, bombing, and killing. We don't see enough of it to get excited, however.

    e-Athlete: Someone who enjoys computer games (too much). Often possesses a grandiose sense of self. "I don't get out much. I pwn noobs on the net because I'm an e-athlete."

    The two teams: Team 3D, the well-funded top-dogs, and CompLexity, a diverse bunch gamers brought together by a lawyer with a gaming vision and some personal money to invest in the future of the sport. A climatic match between the two teams awaits us at the end of the film. When the filmmakers chose these two teams to follow, they chose well. The movie has a nice arc, with a beginning, a middle, and an end. The Intel-sponsered Team 3D was the first professional Counter-Strike team outside of Europe and Asia. 3D's motto: "Desire. Discipline. Dedication. Intel." A 3D team manager keeps the boys in line as they squabble and mostly beat other teams. Squabbling teammates are always of interest in sports, but hard to get on tape in a documentary, including this one. At one point, a team captain is deposed and replaced, but nobody dishes for us onscreen. I was reminded of the 70s documentary An American Family, wherein we follow the Loud family for hours and hours and then, in a hard-to-hear couple of minutes in a restaurant near the end, the mom and dad suddenly agree to get divorced, and I'm like, What? Where did that come from? But no tape to rewind in those days.

    You can find E-@thletes on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and its own site but it isn't mentioned in IMDB. Boal told me that when the movie was finally finished and ready for release (post-production took a year), he and Agafanov decided to focus their distribution efforts on the gamer community and its various websites. I'm guessing that, based on the google hits for the movie, as befits a gamer flick, most viewers downloaded it via one torrent or another. When Boal and Agafanov submitted it to IMDB, it wasn't accepted because of its limited distribution, but the film added the Philadelphia Independent Film Festival to its resume after that and if the makers ever take the trouble to resubmit, it'll probably get listed.

    As I mentioned above, even though, at this point, the movie is way past being stop-the-presses current, it's structured with a narrative that suggests we're getting the current poop - perhaps an error in the director/editor's emphasis when applied to such a a fast-evolving environment. To wit: the two teams are introduced as the best, the cream of the crop, the only two sponsered teams in a world of gamers. We are told that it's becoming possible to earn a living playing video games. As the movie comes to an end in 2007, a gaming league is created and we watch a draft of gamers at the Playboy Mansion to populate it. The league, The Championship Gaming Series, was owned and operated by DirecTV. This was an international electronic-sports league based in the U.S. and then "expanded to every continent except Antarctica for Season Two." The league expired suddenly after two seasons. compLexity went away, came back with different players, drama ensued, the founder retired, all ancient history now. At the end of the movie, the founder of compLexity is quoted as saying that if the league fails, there won't be another to follow it. I'm no expert on gaming, but I think that various leagues did follow the failed CGS, but they're all gone, too, now, I think, except for Major League Gaming. Gamers making six figures have come and gone... though by the time  you read this, who knows? With gaming generating billions, somebody is still getting rich, I presume. My mom's lifelong best friend was Nolan Bushnell's mom (Nolan created Pong, the first video game, and Atari, and Chuck E. Cheese, and something else after that, and lives about two billion dollars up the hill from me here). As girls, his mom and my mom grew up on adjacent farms. Shouldn't that be worth a few million to me, Nolan's mom's best friend's kid? Even just a lousy million? But no. Nothing has rubbed off on me but a plate of potato salad that his mom insisted I eat the last time I saw her in Utah. Tasty!

    Anyway, my only negative about this well-made film: the documentary is structured, on one level, as a genre sports film. The established corporate team of winners, touring the world, idolized, pulling down the $$$, is challenged by the upstart misfits, who come together and begun to win. As is traditional in this type of movie, the rivalry is hyped throughout and brought to a climax with a major showdown at the end of the film, just at the dawn of the new era of league sports. Then, unaccountably, as the two teams engage in their final struggle, instead of descriptions of the match with on-screen illustrations, the docu's talking heads pipe up and tell us... well, I have no idea what they were telling us because I was trying to watch the frigging match! (I consider this not a spoiler, but a warning of impending disappointment), which was 1-0 and then, all of a sudden, 9-5 (a match can take hours) and then, oops, it's over. This is a climax? But I took consolation in the fact that the extras disk had a feature on this final match. When I watched it, however, it consisted of shots of all the players sitting at their keyboards, no shots of the screen action, what they were seeing, what they were doing, how the match was progressing. No final-game narrative.

    None of the detail and tension experienced while watching the Dynamo and Itkakuskaya National Chess teams battle it out over 20 boards in Oblasteskva Stadium.

    Five talking heads appear rhythmically throughout the movie, explaining, as experts, that... well, I can't remember what they explained. Something about kids and video games? Are video games still called video games? 137,000,000 Google hits. Electronic games = 74,500,000 hits. I wonder what single search term in all of English garners the greatest number of Google hits, and how many hits that is? What's the hit limit, if any, for Google? More than one trillion pages are registered. Anyway, the talking heads comprise authors and the editor of GotFrag Magazine (http://www.gotfrag.com/portal/story/36956/  Don't believe anything I say about gaming; read GotFrag instead), all the heads serious onscreen but none dour. Serious because they've got books for sale on the subject; not dour because, after all, the subject is video gaming. I have not read any of their books, though I did trouble myself to price them all on Amazon ("Smartbomb," "Gameboys," "Got Game," "Everyting Bad is Good For You"), and could have had the lot, used, for a mere $16.76 plus shipping. I subscribe to "To The Point," "Left, Right, and Center," "Planet Money," and sundry other talking-head podcasts, and listen to them daily. From this I infer that I like talking heads. So why can't I remember word one of the offerings of this E-@thlete bunch (Aaron Ruby, Mike Kane, John Beck, Steven Johnson, and Heather Chaplin)? Hmm. I haven't read any of the books written by the talking heads I listen to every day, either. Or remember in particular what they've said. In fact, I'm reminded of what happens when I am made to sit through a sermon in church. I understand the words that I'm hearing, assuming that the sermon is spoken in my native tongue. I understand the concepts. The meaning of the sermon as a whole, however, the import, usually eludes me; or perhaps I elude it. Sermons. They're meaningless to me. I don't forget what I've heard; in some sense or other I just don't hear anything in the first place. A sermon is something that comes between the songs - often occuring annoyingly at the same time as a ballgame on TV. From this I gather that talking heads must be talking to or arguing with each other, as in the podcasts that I listen to, for me to hear and understand and remember what they are saying. I will listen to and ponder the pronouncements of conversing talking heads, but not to a lone talking head talking at me. I might also still be annoyed at Sun Dogs for using a legitimate people's activist talking head in an infomercial designed to further enrich the rich at the expense of a couple of poor dogs.

    I was in a documentary once, by the way. Up on the big screen. High on a rock wall, free climbing, facing death, sweat running off my back, muscles on the verge of failure, blue sky above and thin air below! I checked out the audience during a screening and spotted a few mouths hanging open. Wow! And then, wtf, the rock wall, with me on it, was suddenly replaced by my parents' kitchen with my mom standing in front of a sink full of dishes, brow knit and her going on about how I was raised to be responsible and how much I meant to the family and what was I doing taking my life in my hands when I should have been out in the shantytowns going door-to-door proselytizing and converting the inhabitants of Burkina Vaso (formerly Upper Volta) instead of traumatizing her and my dad and my sister by climbing without a rope, without, well, without a net, after all that she and my dad had done for me. Then my dad, down in the rumpus room behind the bar, just shaking his head, doleful, pointing to my trophy from the debating-society championships, pointing to the family Bible signed by Billy Graham himself, dad taking a drink from his highball glass and clinking the cubes. So the parents that appear in E-@thletes? They support their kids; but conflict being the essence of drama, this means - no drama. One dad, a Canadian documentary maker himself, does intone "Some nights when Griffin didn't come home at all, I'd go looking for him, usually ending up downtown in his favorite video game place. In these, the opium dens of the 21st century, an elctronic hook deep in the brain of harmless killing..." Spoken like a true parent! Let's keep in mind that these young adults are sitting in front of a screen for, say, five hours a day, clicking a keyboard with their left hand and moving and clicking a mouse with their right in order to win a kill-or-be-killed video game. Where's (where're?) the sunlight and fresh air? Where's the vitamin D and exercise? Where's the organic Vegan cooking instead of pizza? The good news: the rooms aren't smoke-filled. Steroids don't enhance performance. Or, wait a minute, what about drugs? Are these young men (no sign of a female gamer from start to finish) all jacked on some pill I've never heard of? That kid who chewed a hole through the linoleum floor when he lost - was that drug-induced behavior? We don't know.

    If you enjoy shooter games and, watching these young competitors, feel a sudden urge to spend some time sharpening your skills with a view toward winning a little prize money, permit me to remind you that even if you don't currently play tennis, for example, if you're in reasonable shape you can go buy a racquet, take a few lessons and shortly become the best tennis player on your block. Dedicate your life to the game and you might, in time, become the best player in your town, if your town isn't too large and you're not already too old. But that's about it. You can eat, sleep, live, dream, and pray about tennis 24x7, juice up, study with John McEnroe, bribe the line judges, and still, somewhere in your county, nevermind your state, you will encounter a 13-year-old of either sex who will clean your clock. That is in the nature of the human body, the psyche, and sporting competition. So is it also with e-gaming.

    End note: The movie does not deal with cheating, a fact of gaming competition that could command a documentary of its own.

     


  • Lucy Liu at 41

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    Viewed Watching the Detectives the other night - a light romantic comedy starring Cillian Murphy and Lucy Liu. Cillian is 33 but in the movie he's playing a younger guy, or so it seemed to me. He has a baby face, so that works ok. Back in the days of Dobie Gillis, Dwayne Hickman and Bob Denver were in their late 20s playing high-school students; Dustin Hoffman was 30 when The Graduate was released.

    Lucy Liu, on the other hand, is 41. She can pass for younger and she's playing a Murphy contemporary in the movie, and I'd watch her in anything anyway cause I've got a little Lucy Liu jones going, but having said that, it cannot be denied that life is beginning to leave a few signs of road wear on the Liu corpus. The camera is good to her, but, oops, a quick shot of her hands... The hands go first. I read somewhere that the hands go last, but not so. Also a flash or two here and there in the movie - just a flash - of Lucy looking like her mother.

    A few words on the subject of female stars past 40, which I posted earlier. The thing is, in "Watching the Detectives," Lucy is playing a lovable, or not so lovable, wacky liver of life, hyper, unattached, no doubt because of her deeply neurotic behavior. Cillian, the watcher of TV, of movies, is her antithesis. Meet cute. Mortal opposites instantly attracted. Each pulling the other toward the center while the centrifugal force of their behavior and personalities tends to send them spinning away from each other. What will happen? Will they, can they, end up together, these two? The thing is, if we take Lucy as a woman in her 40s, she isn't zany, she's nuts.

    And by the way, how is it that English, Irish, Australian, and New Zelandish actors do American accents so well? No hint of Cork in Murphy's work here.

    Or am I crazy? It's called acting, isn't it? If Lucy gets a gig in which she is required to act young and kooky, a gig's a gig, isn't it? If Mimi Rogers is called upon to play a thirty-something in "Storm Cell" when she is in fact 53, who is Mimi to say no? Who is Mimi to turn down the Rita Fiori role in "Stone Cold" in spite of the fact that Rita is supposed to be a spectacular show-stopping babe?

    Just to be clear, I have no problem with movie romances in which older women hook up with younger men, no more than with the opposite. But it's just too bad if Lucy had to take the role of a giddy twenty-something just to get work. (Same with Cillian Murphy but not so bad. In fact, I thought Paul Rudd (40) seemed a little old for his role in "I Love You Man.")

    "Watching the Detectives," by the way, is not good.

    No, wait. Just caught the last five minutes and came away feeling ok with the film. Lucy's character has been burned and burned again; she's desperate. Delivers a little monolog at the end which on one level could be taken as the desperate cry for love of a 40-something willing to go to any lengths to reel in this B-level dude.

    Visit MRQE for a list of reviews explaining in detail why the movie sucks. I'm giving it a pass.

    You know how sometimes when you look up an actor in IMDB and you see that he or she has been in many, many movies that you've never heard of? This is one of those movies. I'm guessing that Cillian and Lucy will thank you for not watching it. Maybe they're both Broken Lizard fans.

    Final question: Lucy has modeled. Throughout this movie she is garbed to look good. So in the final scene she's in a nifty little green flowered spring number with a scoop back that reveals her bra strap. A style statement, or what? Please explain.


  • Watchmen

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    Watchmen  (2009)

    After I watch a movie, I read some reviews about it to find out whether I liked it or not. A.O. Scott does a nice job on Watchmen, but he tells me that I didn't like it as much as I thought I did. The gist of his argument seems to be that Zack Snyder brought the 80s graphic novel faithfully to the screen and that this was not a good thing: that the ideas in the book are dated and jejune. Scott's review is so well-written that I felt ashamed about writing one of mine own, this one in fact, and I put it aside unfinished.

    But wait a minute. Of course the ideas in the book are dated. The ideas in Pride and Prejudice are dated. So what? And of course the ideas are the sort that would appeal to a teen reader. Watchmen was born as a series of comic books. A.O., grow down.

    But then, I liked "300," so what do I know?

    A.O. also calls out the primary sex scene in the movie as the worst of the year. Evidently A.O. steers clear of 99% of the DVDs on Blockbuster's shelves. At any rate, what I saw in that scene was an ineffective Snyder attempt to maintain Watchmen's PG-13 rating, an attempt doomed from the gitgo by the movie's blue penis.

    That blue penis. Over and over before watching the movie I heard about the blue pee pee. I was expecting gratuitous closeups of the prosthesis. I was expecting an azure member of a size worthy of the movie's only true superhero. What th... The little guy was as unobtrusive in the movie as it was in the book. U.S. society is messed up WRT the phallus. Judd Apatow ran a couple of focus groups while making Funny People, to discover how many dick jokes in the movie would be too many dick jokes. The answer: you can't have too many. And what is a man's member a member of anyway?

    Like Risselada and some other Spouters, I read Watchmen just before watching it. I like to read a book and then see the movie. If the movie heads off in some wrongheaded direction, I might shake my head philosophically, but my bile is not wont to rise when it happens. A shrug is sufficient. For example, Kiera Knightly as Elizabeth Bennet did not do it for me, but I have moved on. I do not brood. Kiera, go back to POTC before Jane Austen comes back from the grave to haunt you. OK, maybe a little brooding eventuated, but hey, Elizabeth Garvie in the role will suffice for me until Pride and Prejudice is remade yet again, which it will be.

    In the 60s, I went gaga over Fowles' The Magus. But then the movie version became my biggest book-to-movie disappointment. On the other hand, I read Robert Parker's Appaloosa a while back and believe me, Ed Harris is the perfect Virgil Cole in the movie version. Ditto Tom Selleck as Parker's Jesse Stone. Perhaps a reader who found Watchmen magical in the 80s and then waited twenty years for the movie might have problems with it, though I'm willing to bet that most of those folks - I've got no data - loved the movie.

    Anyway, I liked Watchmen the movie better than Watchmen the graphic novel. Snyder left out the pirates and other boring stuff and stuck to the main line, getting it all in, or so it seemed to me. Fresh faces in his casting choices, a big plus. I watched the movie in pieces, as if it were a mini-series, so it didn't seem to run long. And for me, if not for A. O. Scott, adding a collection of 80s tunes to the soundtrack tweaked the experience in a way not possible to a silent book. Even if those tunes have been played to death, which they have been.

    There has been conversation about the excessive violence in the movie. Sorry, I must have been distracted by Maggie Gyllenhaal getting blown up in the Dark Knight, and The Joker's pencil to the eyeball, and Saws I, II, III, IV, and V, and folks checking into hostels never to check out again, whatever, so that I missed the fact that Rorschach in prison got a little extreme. He does splash hot oil in a dude's face, but see, I just watched Trailer Park of Terror, in which the victim is lowered whole into hot oil like a very large freedom fry. At any rate, Snyder had obviously given up on his PG-13 quest by the time he cut together the prison fight scenes.

    Near the end of the book and movie, Dr. Manhattan tells Ozymandias that he's leaving for a galaxy where things aren't so complicated. The average galaxy contains 100 billion stars and there are about 100 billion galaxies in the visible universe. I'm guessing that one collection of 100 billion stars is pretty much the same as another. Stick to your own galaxy, blue guy! Remember, whereever you go, there you are. And about creating some humans of your own: who do you think you are, God? Fundamentalists are outraged! God is not blue! And if you saw His pee pee...!

    For recent urban total destruction, the late scenes in Watchmen are ok (reimagined from the original), but I liked the devastation in "Knowing" better -  speaking of freedom fries.

    Finally, for your consideration, the beginning and end of the Watchmen review found on "Christian Spotlight on Entertainment." A reviewer with his feet in the mud and head in the clouds:

    "For conservative Christian audiences, the prospect of seeing Zack Snyder’s “Watchmen” is a non-starter. There is male frontal nudity (albeit blue and animated); numerous instances of blasphemy; shots of women’s breasts; gory violence; and a nude love-making scene... Watchmen is a long viewing. It is sometimes ponderous, grisly, and confusing, but for those who have read the book and have reasonable expectations of what can be done in cinematic form, it is an instant classic — a tour de force which asks universal questions through comic book characters. For Christians, Dr. Manhattan represents the seeker who questions the existence of God and the meaning of life. His questions are in part answered in the realization that life is a miracle, “gold from air,” unexplained by the processes of nature. When the movie is over, the character that viewers will be most interested in is Dr. Manhattan and his journey to another galaxy, a journey he wouldn’t make if he were just interested in matter."


  • Dog of the week?

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    Film Name  Production Year

    Yeast  (2008)

    With reference to my previous posting  THE WORST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN: CITIZEN KANE, let me recognize this recent review of Yeast by a Spout member:

    "this movie was by far the worst "indie" film i have ever seen in my entire life... and i don't think that that any movie i see in the future will be nearly as bad at this one."


  • SMOOSHED, THEN WHISKED OFFSCREEN

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    Film Name  Production Year

    The Rocker  (2008)

    Watched some Sarah Connor Chronicles last night. A T1000 killer robot is crossing the street, just a couple of steps behind Sarah with killing on his cyborg mind, when Bang! a bus or truck crashes into him and carries him offscreen, putting him out of commission just long enough for Sarah to escape. The T1000 is presumably unable to keep track of traffic and chase Sarah at the same time, or perhaps in this instance it was programmed to decommission its urban pedestrian subroutines upon reaching kill-zone proximity to its prey.

    First time that I saw this particular accident/plot device/action sequence - smoosh-and-carry offscreen - as I recall - was in one of the Final Destination movies. Nice! I thought at the time. Something new. Also the second and third and fourth times that I saw this, in whatever the movies that used it, I continued to think, Nice! For example, I remember a romantic comedy in which the husband was a real jerk but crunch, he was removed expediously in the first reel by a taxi cab.

    So who dreamed up this little sequence - this deus ex machina via dumptruck? A tip of the hat to him or her, whomever, though when the T1000 got bonked last night, I noticed that as my How-is-Sarah-going-to-get-out-of-this-one? was answered, my reaction was no longer Nice! but Oh, ok, right, that one.

    Considering that Connor must escape impending death by machine multiple times per episode, it's no suprise that the writers use traffic as a tool in this way. Similarly, Sarah runs over her persuer at least once, driving a truck of her own.

    (Note to self: watch one of these smoosh sequences frame-by-frame.)

    A few points that may or may not be true:

    - The accident only occurs when/if required by the plot. Sort of like when necessary information appears on a TV screen in the movie, or issues from a car radio, just when the protagonist needs it. Smooshing has never happened just for fun. Yet.

    - The victim is carried off from left to right (in U.S. films), because the accident always happens in the lane closest to the camera. If the body goes from right to left, check to see whether everyone in the film appears to be left-handed.

    - When this accident happens to the hero, he or she is bounced up onto the hood, hits the windshield, and goes over the top of the car (it's never a bus) to land on the pavement behind, momentarily stunned. Didn't this happen in The Rocker, for example?

    - This sequence is just a variation based on the cartoon character who looks both ways, steps into the street, and is mowed down?

    - A study has been done. This action sequence was first used mostly at the end of the movie, but now is thrown in as soon as is needed, whenever

    - Because the universe is synchronous, the moment that I began typing this blog entry, an article appeared in Slate about getting hit by a bus, though interestingly, the article does not mention getting hit by a bus in the movies - only in literature.

    So anyway, is it time for new wrinkles? Or have the wrinkles already arrived and I've just missed them? Ways to move on:

    - Victim is in the center of an intersection and is carried off in two perpendicular directions (one-half each) by two trucks or buses.

    - Two victims, one bus? Simese twins, perhaps, or a couple?

    - Slo mo?

    - Put the scene in a western? Stage coach roars by? Amish couple on a flatbed wagon, hauling knurled flour back to the homestead to make pone, carry off pedestrian who squooging through the main-street mud?

    - Victim dances out of the way of the truck, gets carried off by cyclist in the bike lane, with some voiceover PSA dialog or angry cyclist blue language?


  • The Greatest Movie Ever Made: Elf

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    Elf  (2003)

    Knowing  (2009)

    No sooner did I post my thoughts on the worst movie ever made, than Simon Mayo, Mark Kermode's sidekick, weighed in with Knowing as his "worst" candidate, on their 3/27 podcast. Kermode properly told Mayo the same thing that I wrote in my post: Dude, you've missed a lot of bad movies if Knowing is the worst you've ever seen. But then Kermode, who ought to know better, turned around and suggested What Dreams May Come as a reasonable "worst" candidate of his own. Proving that no one is immune to worstitis, the irresistable urge to go the limit when describing a movie that you (you) didn't like.

    It's never just once with these worst-enders. I know because I've checked. Can it be that each time they name a new "worst," it's truly worse than the last worst one that they named? Do they announce their worst car when they buy it? Their worst house? Their worst wife? Their worst newborn?

    Tell me that the movies aren't just getting worster and worster. Tell me that there is bestitis out there as well.

    I googled "Greatest Movie Ever Made." 79,700 hits, including Citizen Kane, of course, and IMDB's Shawshank, and The Dark Knight from the fanboys. But also Conan the Barbarian, I Am Legend, Last Year at Marienbad, Shogun Assassin, and Elf.

    I'm ignoring Peter Igluishvilli's choice of Lions for Lambs as his "worst," as he is only ten years old, just arrived from the woods east of Kutaisi on the Rioni river, and in his life has seen only one other movie, "The House Bunny" (his "greatest").

    It seems that "best" and "worst" appraisals are skewed toward the young, not the old, where the judgement would be based upon a greater number of movies seen. Suppose, for example, that a 110-year-old individual has been watching 100 movies/year since the age of 10. Now suppose that I ask him or her to name the "best" movie out of those 10,000 movies that he or she has seen, and suppose that he or she responds, "Elf." That would indicate some advanced degree of dementia in the cinematic portion of his or her brainpan.

    "Greatest Movie I've Ever Seen" 2,370. Shattered, Hancock, Revolver, Valkyrie, Titanic.

    "Best Movie I've Seen" 85,500 Hmm. Best in a while. Best this year. Best of its kind. Best is more provisional than worst, it seems.

    "Best Movie Ever Made" 110,000. Well, well. "The Best Movie Ever Made" (1997). Directed by Steve Bencich. Otherwise, Easy Rider, Commando ("This is the best movie ever made, it should have won 1 million Oscars." Nice), Showgirls, Crash.

    There seem to be more worsts than bests. Easier to make a bad movie than a good one? "Greatest" picks are less great than "Worst" picks are worse. That is, "greatest" picks are more often bad than "worst" picks are good. What does this mean? That movies are generally worse than we imagine, but, hey, not that bad? Or is it that the motivations behind choosing best and worst are entirely different? Worst springs from disappointment and hurt and a cynical abandonment of hope, a cry for help, abuse from the abused, denial of death, turning away from the void, a disgust at wasting 10 bucks or so, plus parking, coke, and popcorn. Best is warmed cockles or weepy moments or laughter (forgetting) or relief that it wasn't you, or whatever it is that makes art art.

    Since there's a thin line between love and hate, it's no suprise that there are movies listed as both the best and worst ever made. Showgirls, Crash, Hancock, and Citizen Kane all qualify. The U.S. elected George Bush, twice, and then Barak Obama, so why can't Hancock and Kane be brothers?

    I called a guy who listed Zombie Breakfast as his worst. I thought Breakfast wasn't bad. Bad? he said. It was terrible! Undoubtedly the worst movie ever made! I asked him if he'd seen the sequel, Zombie Brunch, a real stinker. Seen it? he said. Yeah, I saw it. It was ten times as bad as Zombie Breakfast. The worst!


  • THE WORST MOVIE I'VE EVER SEEN: CITIZEN KANE

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    Film Name  Production Year

    Citizen Kane  (1941)

    I was reading the comments for a movie review the other day and one poster identified the film under discussion as "The worst movie I've ever seen." I googled the sentence because it seems to me that I've been seeing it a lot lately. 19,700 hits.

    Some of the movies deemed "the worst ever": 10,000 BC, Open Water, Meet the Spartans, Twister.

    If Twister is the worst you've seen, viewer, then let me warn you that there are a lot, a mighty lot, of seriously terrible movies out there that you've somehow managed to miss up till now.

    Some of the google hits turned out to be for "not the worst movie I've ever seen," but still. Other worst-seens: Wanted, Howl's Moving Castle, Ladder 49, Legends of the Fall.

    It's a strange world that we live in.

    So my question is, how many of these posters list a movie as their worst, but then do it again, and perhaps again, serial worsters, naming many of the  movies they see? Pathalogical worsters. Are these movie-watchers caught in some downward spiral vectoring them toward cinema Hell? Or do they also keep encountering their best-ever? Is every movie that they see either the best or the worst or the most or the least, or were these folks just having a bad day, or are they just lonely and wailing for help or for a little attention, or is hyperbole now a plague in the U.S. that has given us, for example, a major political party for which everything under consideration is either perfectly good or perfectly evil? How does Limbaugh rate his movies, or is he even allowed to go out and see movies?

    "The worst movie I've seen." 15,800 hits. A guy names "Benjamin Button" as his personal worst. Gets some agreement from other commenters but also some violent flames. Best ever/worst ever struggle breaks out over Button. They walk among us, these comment-posters, seemingly normal humans.

    There are sites that do prompt for your worsts, asking "What's the worst movie you've seen?" Nothing wrong with that. Moths to the flame. "The worst movie ever made." 63,200 hits. I've got no problem with legitimate contenders for worst, or with the fun of trying to pick that worst flick. Zardoz, Showgirls, Gigli, Ishtar, Cleopatra, The Hottie and the Nottie, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, the Turkish Wizard of Oz, and many many more, all legitimate contenders. But the googled worst-made list also includes Spiderman 3, Black Hawk Down, Southland Tales, I Am Legend, Lions and Lambs, Star Wars episode III, etc. Were these the picks of hotheads, or the challenged, or those unclear on the concept, or iconoclasts in want of an icon, or simple knuckleheads, or some species of the disgruntled?

    I can name my worst pain and my worst breakup with a girlfriend and the worst President of the U.S. in my lifetime. I'm no worst hater (or wurst hater, either). I personally don't have a worst movie but I suppose I could name a few candidates. The question is, are all the posted "worsts" true candidates like my own, or are they exposing a septicemiaized vein in the body cinematic?

    "The worstest movie I've seen." 2 hits. Talladagea Nights, Signs. Thirteen circles of movie inferno and we're down at the bottom here, in the worstest, the icy lakes of Hades with their movie reviewers frozen in ice up to their padded hips, along with the future shades of Will Ferrell and M. Night Shyamalan.

    Note also that there are chuckleheads who name Citizen Kane the worst, as per the title above. And speaking of the worst, Google also yields: "The Bible is the worst book ever." and "The worst book in the Bible? Okay, this won't be easy. There are only three books in the bible that have more good stuff than bad." and "To the faithful in particular: what's your least favourited/most hated book in the 'good' book?"

    "The worst movie I have ever seen." 28,200 hits. Watchman (of course), Son of Mask, Last Days (the van Zant flick).

    "Most awful movie." 1,430 hits. The Fifth Element, Snakes on the Plane (I've only seen Snakes on a Plane...), Burn After Reading.

    "Most terrible movie." 704 hits. State of the Union, Slumdog Millionaire (of course), Driven, The Door in the Floor.

    "Baddest movie." 1,230 hits. Nah, bad is good.

    "Rottenest movie." 9 hits. Tropic Thunder (because of the r word), Lost Souls, Blazing Saddles.

    "rottnest movie." 2 hits. Cool Runnings, The Lion King.

    These are the worst posts I've ever read.


  • Homo Erectus - a review

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    Homo Erectus  (2007)

    aka National Lampoon's Stoned Age. NL has produced a closetful of clunkers over the years, but Adam Rifkin gets this genre film right, the genre being Movies To Watch While You're Drunk. I was and it was.

     It's all here:

    David Carradine as MooKoo, proving once again that he will do literally anything for a paycheck. He's especially good in the scenes where he's carrying his head under his arm.

    Talia Shire as his wife, mother of the clan, who will do anything for a fur, even if it's off an australeamoustisimus.

    Ron Jeremy as Oog, who doesn't show it, but at this point doesn't really have to anymore. Anybody who cares has memorized it by now.

    Gary Busey as Krutz, who doesn't have to act crazy to be crazy.

    Ali Larter as Fardart, showing off the best set of prehistoric choppers in film history, although Raquel Welch still beats her from the neck down.

    Carol Alt as Queen Fallopia. "You turn me down?? Every Neanderthal between here and the volcano wants to get into this lizard-skin thong!"

    Kansas Carradine as the pregnant cavewoman. David's daughter adds her oiled belly to several of the scenes wherein the women drop their pelts.

    and Adam Rifkin, who gets hit in the head by large rocks twenty, no, twenty-two, no... I was too far gone to keep track.

    The movie poses the question, If you paste large shaggy patches of fake pubic fur over the female actors' actual areas, is that still full-frontal, or what?


  • Doubt: a review

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    Film Name  Production Year

    Doubt  (2008)

    *** COMPLETE AND THROUGHGOING SPOILERS ***

    Ordinarily, I wouldn't begin a review with an adverb. Ordinarily, I would watch a movie, share my thoughts, and walk on. In the case of Doubt, however, I missed the movie in the theater and now, weeks later, I'm still waiting for the DVD. The rips I've downloaded from the internets aren't of any use. Why did AXXO pass on Doubt while ripping Drillbit Taylor? It is not given to me to know. [Much later: it's all over the web now.]

    In the meantime, I read John Patrick Shanley's Miramax screenplay for the film version of Doubt.  Having watched a trailer before reading the script, I did have La Streep and PSH acting the roles in my head, but acting them my way, perhaps not theirs. The script seemed a little thin to me, for a play that won the drama Pulitzer and a Tony in 2005.

    What I know about the drama Pulitzer:

    1. They can't just give it to Angels in America every year, over and over.
    2. Seemingly thin scripts can in fact hide greatness, q.v., Our Town.
    3. Roxanne Pulitzer posed for Playboy; I liked Paloma Picasso better. Such was the cultural training of my youth.
    7. It took four years for Doubt to catch up with Proof.
    8. Shaley received the prize but Cherry Jones and Brian O'Byrne knocking heads might have won it for him.
    5. "Doubt" shares its honor with, among others, "A Streetcar Named Desire," "Death of a Salesman," and "Long Day's Journey Into Night." In the same way, Mike Tyson shares his former title with, among others, Joe Lewis, Rocky Marciano, and Muhammad Ali.
    4. The prize isn't awarded every year. Looking for a book idea? Write one explaining why the award was withheld in the years 1919, 1942, 1944, 1947, 1951, 1963, 1964, 1966, 1968, 1972, 1974, 1986, 1997, and 2006.*

    * Of course, in my conception, the book would be as catty as possible. Politics, rumors, scandalous rumors, and rumors that are god-damned lies welcomed.

    The drama-prize candidate is selected each year by a jury of five, one academic and four critics, based upon their reading of the script, or so I have always understood it. The Pulitzer Committee must then approve the jury's choice. In 1963, the Committee declined to approve Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf because of the play's sex and cussing. In 1986, the Committee overruled the jury's choice of the CIVIL warS, which as far as I know has never been performed in full (your homework: find out why). From these two examples, we can infer that the Pulitzer Committee's overrulings are generally wrongheaded. The year after Doubt, no Pulitzer was awarded. Ongoing controversy over these awards led to the creation of The New York Drama Critics' Circle, which, as it happens, also awarded Doubt the prize in 2006, and also did not award an American prize the following year. 2006 is taken by many as a lackluster year, but I've also heard more than one playgoer complain that if it isn't a New York production with Big Names in it, it won't be picked and may not even be considered. 27 plays were considered in '06 and of the three finalists chosen from these, none received a majority of votes from the 17 committee members. So maybe your no-prize book will turn out to be a bust, due to a surfeit of no-prize plays over the years; but don't let mere facts stop you, not in the weedy garden of the arts.
     
    The drama jury members who picked Doubt in 2005: Michael Phillips (Chicago Tribune—chair), Fran Dorn (University of Texas—Austin), Robert Hurwitt (San Francisco Chronicle), Charles Isherwood (New York Times), and Wendy Wasserstein (playwright). I wrote Phillips, Dorn, Hurwitt, and Isherwood, asking them an assortment of questions about their choice. (Wasserstein died of cancer in 2006.)

    Shanley added "a Parable" to the play's title, "Doubt, a Parable," after its introduction. My first thought was that once he had let his play cool a bit after baking, he too felt that it was thin (or short on filling under the crust, to continue the baking metaphor), and everybody knows that a parable can skimp on characterization and plot in the service of loftier goals. Just a thought. A parable is "a brief, succinct story, in prose or verse, that illustrates a moral or religious lesson. It differs from a fable in that fables use animals, plants, inanimate objects, and forces of nature as characters, while parables generally feature human characters." Do we need a parable Pulitzer? Puts me in mind of that famously short-lived category, the haiku Pulitzer. Jonathon Livingston Seagull for fable Pulitzer! 38 weeks on the NTY Best Seller list and still in print! But I digress.

    What do I mean by "thin"? Print out the script and read the climatic scene, pages 81 to 94. OK, wait. Let me back up and summarize the plot, in case you haven't been out of your cave since the weather turned cold. The Bronx. 1964. Catholic School. Not like Sacred Heart, where my kids went. Old School. The NBs still wear their habits. But Vatican II has happened. Some younger priests are leaning new-school; the school principal, Sister Aloyisius (Aloyisius, the patron saint of students) is old school. Father Flynn is the friendly young chaplain. He is or is not molesting the only African-American (male) student in the school, the population of which is otherwise exclusively Irish/Italian. Come to think of it, though the years have passed, Sacred Heart did recently give the boot to its own chaplain, who looked like the popular graphic version of Jesus Christ and acted a bit too much like him as well.

    Sister A gets on Father F's case. Shanley: "I was very interested in having a powerful character who was certain she was right chasing down a course of action that was going to do a lot of harm if she was wrong and investigating what it was to live in a world that was a clash between certainty and ambiguity." Sister Aloyisius knows that Father Flynn has abused the boy, though she has no proof. Shanley: "Oh, I do not profess to know the end of the play. The end of the play takes place after the play is over, when you go out and have a drink and you have a fight with your wife about what happened." (Schwarzenegger to his wife in Raw Deal: "You should not drink and bake.") The author has said a lot more than this, in numerous interviews.

    Shanley has set himself the task here of walking the line between hints of Flynn's guilt and hints of his innocence, so that we the audience might lean one way or the other but cannot ever know the truth, because the truth isn't included in this, Shanley's creation - a creation that he ends with several ambiguous flourishes. Get it? It's a whirligig. It goes round and round and it's fun to watch for a while and then it stops where it started and you go do something else. It's a gizmo. It's a construction, and the key problems in it and Shanley's solutions to those problems are to be found in the pages of the script, and they are mechanical. The Rubik's Cube Pulitzer.

    I also took strong exception on first reading to pages 65 through 78 - that is, to the scene in which Sister A meets with the boy's mother and in which the mother, hearing that her son is most probably being buggered by his priest, accepts the fact as she keeps her eyes on the prize, a good high school for the boy upon his graduation from St. Nicholas. Shanley the Irishman writes a black family into his play. Limns the family: physically abusive, dangerous father not to be reasoned with or disobeyed; hard-working, saintly but morally primitive mother; bent, wine-drinking son. If Shanley had been black, writing the boy and his mom as Irish, would we then instead have here a drunken, violent, bog-trotting dad; religious, potato-cooking mom with a straw broom in her hand and a sheepy look in her eyes; boy ready to break your knee with a stick? And how does an actress come to deserve an Oscar nomination for 13 pages of work in a film? Parable Oscar. (Well, the part did win Adriane Lenox a Tony.) Reality check: This is it? The best drama 2005 had to offer? Is culture zero-sum? If so, where went the talent that would allow a total equal to that of Tennessee Williams? YouTube?

    Whoa! Dude! Why the hate? Vitriol! Is it a Hitler speech I'm readin? Are ye turnin on yer own kind then, ladee? Buck up, boyo. Go pull yer Finnegan's Wake back out of the firegrate. Sober up. You're worse than himself this way.
     
    Maybe so, but Pineapple Express had nine times the plot that Doubt does.

    Ye could use a little less Pineapple Express yerself, at that, at that. Write JMJ at the top of every page of this review, with a fountain pen. What said the jury, boyo?

    Answering my questions about script vs staging, Michael Phillips' response included:  "I've happily done jury duty for the Pulitzers four different times, and I must say, it stunned me to realize how the various jurors approached the commitment differently. One made it a point never, ever to read the scripts--for him, if he couldn't see it on stage, in New York, in time for the voting, it wasn't eligible. (Ridiculous. A New Yorker, needless to say.) Others believed differently. And yet the overseers, the members of the Pulitzer board to whom the individual juries report to, are the ones making the final decision, and there's a pretty clear pattern of awards (in two out of three cases) going to plays currently or recently on view in New York. Such was the case with "Doubt." But I have to say, that year, nothing else came close."

    Unlike me with my script, Charles Isherwood picked up some big ideas in Doubt as he sat in the playgoing audience, ideas conjured into being by the story and its dialog, ideas more profound than most that he had encountered in that theater seat through many a previous year, ideas, Isherwood said, hinted at by that "a Parable" in the title, ideas about taking refuge in certainty when reality is too complicated. Or, as I like to think of it, Bush vs Obama. Isherwood took Sister A's final moment quite seriously. He also detected no irony in the play. From this I deduce that Cherry Jones and Bri­an F. O'Byrne battled to a draw in the performance that he attended.

    Fran Dorn told me that she went strictly by the script. Some of the other things she said put the idea of writing a book about Pulitzer politics into my head.

    Robert Hurwitt loved the play in its original staging, but when he saw it again in a larger theater, it lost some of its depth for him. Is this an argument against the script on the page, or for it, or neither? Don't stage a close argument between four individuals on a stage at the 50-yard line of Brillo Coliseum?

    So I went back and read the play again. 94 pages. 90 minutes on the boards with no intermission. The movie runs 104 minutes. This time I picked up a sweet spirit present in the thing. Nobody gets hurt here. No violence. No evil or despicable characters. What was eating me when I read Doubt the first time? Shanley is writing from the heart. He dedicated the play to the Sisters of Charity and in particular to his first-grade teacher, Sister Margaret McEntee, who was the model for the young nun in the movie and who acted as a consultant on the film. Cinematographer Roger Deakins used the Sisters' school, the College of Mount Saint Vincent, and St. Anthony in the Bronx, to stand in for the play's St. Nicholas. "I've met many nuns as a result of writing this play," says Shanley. "And my first grade teacher, Sister James, who is still alive and still teaching, was my guest for the opening night, and she's just a doll and incredibly intelligent, and one of many invisible women out there living a life of service to others and they deserve to have our acknowledgement and our thanks." Nun love.

    However, a pure heart in the writer does not guarantee the strength of ten in the script, even if the writer is aiming higher than the construction of a gizmo. Also, let's stamp out the use of "purposefully" to mean "purposely." And, to maintain perspective, let's remember that Shanley in his career also wrote the screenplay for Crichton's Congo. My daughter came back from that one and said only, "Heads roll."

    The sweetness-of-spirit thing did remind me of Moonstruck (1987), for which Shanley won a screenplay Oscar. I watched Moonstruck again last night and, for me, it holds up, but for the fact that we now know where Cher was heading when she made the movie, her arc over the following 20 years, so that her Oscar performance then loses some of its magic now, even though at the time she  really was young, instead of just trying to look that way. Moonstruck. Shanley writing Italian. What is it with this guy? A couple of minor twists in the movie, but again, simple. No irony. Straight down the rails. I'm thinking that with the Oscars and Tony and Pulitzer, Shanley is blessed with the luck of the Irish. Moonstruck's screenplay beat out "Au Revoir les Enfants." Is that luck, or the work of Satan paying for a purchased soul? Perhaps the seeming simplicity of Moonstruck and Doubt is a product or an artifact of that lack of irony in both works, irony often passing for moral depth and complexity these days.

    Doubt begins with Father Flynn speaking to the congregation: "What do you do when you're not sure? That's the topic of my sermon today. There are those of you in church today who know exactly the crisis of faith I describe. I want to say to you: Doubt can be a bond as powerful and sustaining as certainty. When you are lost, you are not alone." And this applies to the movie how? I don't notice any comity between doubters in the script. Sister A, of course, is not one of the community of doubters, being consistently certain, although she does provide an antithetical doubter's bookend to Father F's opening remarks in the last sentence of the play. Perhaps, as Shanley says somewhere, the principal object of the play is to demonstrate that doubt allows for growth and change while premature certainty leads only to a dead end, with his parable directed not at the church but at those who insist on absolutes in society at large. And this applies to the movie how? What growth and change as a consequence of doubt is he referring to? Ours? Doesn't doubt vis a vis Father F's culpability lead to the possibility not of growth but of continued sodomy? Isn't Shanley's argument in favor of doubt here, against right-wing Bushian certainty, rather like sending Linus over to argue with Rush Limbaugh?. There is a legitimate dialectic at play, traditional Church observance vs Vatican II, but Shanley marries the former to spinsterhood and blind unreasoning faith, and the latter, even more unhappily, to pedophilia and pederasty gone wild. I must have been absent from the rectory the day that that particular memo was delivered.

    Now hang on. Let's think this through. We don't have our arms around this thing yet. The play was written in 2005. From the comments of others and of Shanley himself, yes, I assume, as many do, that the play is political. In a simple interpretation, Sister A = George Bush and the Right Wing. This does not mean that PSH = the Left Wing. Rather, Father F represents, for example, the Iraq situation - that is, the problem with which certainty is confronted. So that if Sister A turns out to be correct, proof or no proof, the play must tend to validate her position. But Shanley is on record to the contrary, and structures his play so as to maintain an ambiguity in the situation from start to finish, with the denouement functioning as a criticism of Sister A and her certainty. That is, because of Sister A's actions, Father F's innocence or guilt is allowed to continue unresolved. If innocent, he then suffers from the unfair turmoil and suspicion that Sister A has created in his life; if guilty, he remains unchastised for his behavior and free to continue his misdeeds. Had Sister A been in doubt, even a little bit, she would have proceeded differently, more carefully, more politically, perhaps to a place of resolution. Or, more probably, given the mores of that day, her suspicions, delivered up the chain of command, would have been buried. With our present-day knowledge, we know that this did in fact happen over and over again.

    Since Sister A was not burdened by doubt, however, we don't need to contemplate the historical record. And the play is written to minimize the fact that none of us choose what we know and what we don't know. Knowing is not volitional; we know some things; we don't know other things; it's automatic. Sister A knows this particular thing. In TV and media today, we've been trained to accept the fact that protagonists frequently know things without reason or proof. Characters spring into action even as their sergeant in the precinct or the mayor in his office at City Hall hectors and threatens them. They have precognitive talents, they see the future. "He's lying," they say, and they ain't lying. But Shanley as writer and director can't allow Sister A to prevail in our minds, and neither can the actors, because if so, then the fact that Father F slips away in the end becomes ironic, a miscarriage of justice, an indictment of priests and their sexual predations. And Sister A can easily prevail in this play. If La Streep convinces us, with our viewer's training acting as a handicap in her favor, that she does know what she knows, or if Father F acts his part a little lightly on his feet, or if the boy (the boy in the movie - he isn't seen in the play) appears, well, somewhat used (which we might expect, to justify his mother's acceptance of the situation and fears for his safety at public school or with his father), the goose of the play is cooked. Doubt becomes a simple tale of moral corruption. On the other hand, if La Streep comes across as crazy or embittered and out for blood, the movie might strike us as similar to that scene that has become common in movies: someone, in this case PSH, steps off the curb, usually in the middle of a sentence, and is struck and carried offscreen to the right (or to the left in England) in the blink of a frame by a passing bus or taxi, which in this case would be La Streep.

    We can think of the core of the play as a balance scale, with Shanley adding a bit of guilt to one pan and then a bit of innocence to the other, then more guilt, then more innocence, keeping the loads equal, with Amy Adams present onscreen to instantiate the instrument in her performance.  The strategy has something in common with the avoidance of the "reveal" in a romantic comedy, which if known by the protagonists would settle all issues prematurely. For this reader, Shanley made a major misstep in the script during this doling-out. There is a moment in the climatic argument when Sister A says "I'll hound you" and Father F, rather than defending himself with specifics, plays the "You have no right to exceed your authority" card. To me this jumped off the page at me like a confession of guilt on the priest's part. I'm looking forward to seeing how PSH sells me on that line. Cherry Jones and Brian O'Byrne, and director Doug Hughes, walked the line and managed to leave the issue of guilt in doubt; will La Streep and PSH, directed by Shanly himself, do so as well? Shanley has said that La Streep approached every argument in the movie as if it were a grudge match; La Streep demurs and may bear a grudge against Shanley for saying so. It seems to me that both actors and the director would need to work closely together on a strategy that leaves the audience situated in incertitude when the house lights come up.

    Now the Doubt trailer has just reappeared on the front page of YouTube. I've watched it again. PSH doing the "You have no right" line is in it; it's obvious, as I mentioned above, that playing Father F as effeminate would be deadly to the balance of the movie, but watching PSH erupt onscreen, doing that anger thing that he does, I realize that there are a lot of other ways to go wrong with this parable, and protesting too much might be one of them. The balance is all in the Sister A/Father F chemistry. For example, every so often, the spouse here gets some notion and confronts me with it and, in the case of my innocence, I defend myself, but often have the feeling that I'm defending myself so badly that an audience would never believe me, much less the spouse; but that might be one clever way to sell Father F's innocence - the weak-and-unable-to-defend-myself ploy. Not PLH in this movie, though, not with his neck veins standing out as he verges on apoplexy. It's some other actor who would work it by holding back the anger.

    Another word on this doubt thing. In a film review by Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat: "The drama challenges us to take more seriously both the mysteries of the human personality and the uncertainty which lies at the core of our days and doings. Love and doubt converge in the practice of not knowing. And that is the true spiritual path. The world is drenched in mystery and no matter what we do, we can never cut through it all and grab hold of the answer, the one explanation. "X" factors abound, upsetting our rational conclusions. Best to just say "I don't know" and take comfort in the reality that you are not alone." Huh? The issue here is one of potential child abuse. Where does the "practice of not knowing" take us? We can never grab hold of the answer? What if somebody is grabbing hold of something that he oughtn't? How many of us think, or feel, that uncertainty lies at the core of our days and doings? Most of my doings are based on the certainties of heavy traffic at 8 in the morning, movement in my lower regions before lunch, and all local teams missing the playoffs yet again this year. Love and doubt don't converge in the practice of not knowing but in the practice of jealousy, stress, and boredom. On the other hand, asking a priest, at least in the 50s and early 60s, why this and why that got you the response that faith was the answer, faith was required, answers to the questions would not otherwise be forthcoming. Faith was the motive force leading to salvation. Doesn't faith require doubt? Someone somewhere commented that faith and doubt are opposites, but if you know, you don't need faith, do you? I'm asking you, which is why I'm using "you." Asking you rhetorically; no need to write me. What is the opposite of doubt? Not-doubt. Certainty? Can you have faith in your certainty? Can you be certain about a fact but doubt that certainty, if not the fact? Can you feel certain but have no faith in your certainty, so that you believe what God wants you to believe, but without faith? Are questions like these connected to my absence of faith, or my doubt, or my certainty in my non-belief?

    Sister A has an aphorism for every occasion. One of these that raises questions: “When you take a step to address wrongdoing, you are taking a step away from God, but in his service.” Since Sister A is full of aphorisms, is this just a throwaway line to keep the young Sister in line? Or is Sister A saying that as a warrior for God, it is sometimes necessary to step away from the peace, enlightenment, and forgiveness of the Trinity and take up Satan's weapons, anger and aggression, to put down the evildoers, as a Michael of the Faith? That is, the ends justify the means? Or what?

    I was listening to Mick LaSalle (S.F. Chronicle's lead reviewer) in a modest podcast rant about the evils of comparing book to movie; he was saying something to the effect that the movie in your head will always be better than the movie on the screen. Comparing the two in a review is a waste of time, though it felt clever to him while he was doing it. So forth. I suddenly wondered if reading a script and then going to its movie might have something in common with comparing book to movie, and I called up to ask him. In retrospect, reading a script is quite different from reading a book that is later made into a movie. I was surprised when LaSalle replied that he could only recall two times when he read a screenplay before seeing the movie. Especially considering that his wife is a playwright, I expected him to be a frequent reader of scripts and screen plays. The two that he named were Ninotchka and Pulp Fiction. He was familiar with Ninotchka simply because it had been written up with a shot-by-shot commentary frequently used in film classes, and when he saw the movie he found himself bemused as the figures onscreen actually moved. He read Pulp Fiction because he was to interview QT before seeing the movie. He knew the cast list but as he watched the movie, he discovered that he had assigned all the actors to the wrong parts as he read the screenplay; plus, scenes in the screenplay that seemed to him integral to the movie were cut in the theatrical release. In sum, nothing here to inform me about Doubt, as I was unlikely to confuse the parts assigned to La Streep and PSH as I read the script.

    Hmm. I see that Doubt has returned to the metroplex. Must be back for Oscar season. Off I go to watch it! And not to lower the tenor of the discussion, but speaking of nuns and Amy Adams, see page 10 of the script:

    INT. THE BEDROOM - DAWN
    Sister James has bathed. She’s partially dressed but still
    working on her bonnet. She puts on her rosary.

    Satan tempts me with expectations even as I head for the cineplex.

    Note that nobody says "You're off to see Hamlet? Don't bother. You've already ruined it by reading the script. You should have just let the actors bring the pages to life on your blank slate of a brainpan." I'm treating Doubt as if it were a work that is worth something, not as if it were mere entertainment. My regret is that I'll post this before listening to Shanley's own commentary.

    At this point, imagine Bach's Mass No. 1 in F Major, BWV 233, while you wait. Ba ba dum! Dum deedle doo deedle dum, ba dum! Baaa ba dum!

    OK, I'm back.

    What a pleasure to just settle into my seat in an almost-empty brand-new theater and finally watch the damn movie. I enjoyed it from start to finish. Lots to look at and listen to. The movie felt a little earlier than '64 to me, but not by much, and so what? Back in the day, 90% of Catholic school faculty and staff consisted of men and women in the orders; at present, 95% of the staff is lay, which means that they need to be paid. There used to be 12,000 Catholic schools, a large percentage of them catering to lower- and lower-middle-class populations. Now more and more of them are converting to charter, privitizing, going forward with the moral but not the financial support of the Church.

    Hoffman and Streep and Adams and Davis put on an acting class; let me at that community stage - I want to act! Just in the beginning I noticed that I was focusing a bit on the unlikely babealiciousness of Adams, but my companion murmured to me that there were plenty of cute nuns back then, something that I must have forgotten. Then too, Adams laid on the simpiness pretty thick, but hell, she's a beautiful young woman smothered in a habit; doesn't that automatically signify that she's a raving neurotic? It appears that Adams thought so. Hoffman was born three years after the year in which the play is set. Holy cow, he's forty-one already. Makes a perfect priest. Streep was Streep being Streep and relishing it. Unless I was imagining it when I wrote the fact in my notes, her enjoyment tempered her angst, so I was not surprised when Viola Davis said in her Filmspotting #246 interview how much fun Streep had on set. Streep launched the part playing Sister Mary Stigmata but became increasingly human as the movie wore on. Davis I've seen in 14 movies; she sure got this one right; refer to the interview for her thoughts on preparing for the role. Shanley took a chance writing that scene but it worked for me; the crucial interchange happens fast in an overlapping back and forth between Streep and Davis, emotion dialled up all the way, the scene over too quick for us viewers to start asking questions.

    I was wondering on the way over to the plex whether Streep and Hoffman are currently so overexposed for me that they wouldn't be able to disappear into their parts no matter what they did. As Streep exchanged her Prada for a dowdy habit and her Cle de Peau Beaute for ELF,  could she submerge herself in the part enough to prevent me from watching Streep the actress assaying a new accent, recently arrived from Madison County, say, not some nun I don't know? Well, in the event she remained Streep for me, Streep in person onscreen, apotheosis Streep, but lo also became Sister A as well. No holding back; make em laugh, make em cry, make em shake their heads and come back for more. I've watched so much Hoffman lately, the mind reels. He's a national treasure, or am I just invoking Nicholas Cage when I say that? Watching Hoffman in his Roman collar, I realized that I never quite bought Crosby as Father O'Malley, much as I loved his movies. Shanley's intent, when he set out to write Doubt, was to begin with the Nun and Priest stereotypes and then gradually real the real people beneath. Cherry Jones played sister A as physically weak but spiritually strong. No weakness in the 59-year-old Streep; I kept noticing how strong her wrists looked. Before watching the movie, I had the notion that as a play, Doubt begs for restraint, for cool. So that briefly, in the theater, i wondered what Streep was thinking? Shanley as director wouldn't know any better, but Streep could have grabbed Hoffman by the nape and ordered him to throttle it back and then done the same herself, but no, this Sister A onscreen - who is supposed to be a woman who has spent her life devoted to denial, denial of love, denial of pleasure, denial of coughdrops - show me steel, show me ice, show me the cold vacuum of deep space, not Miss Muffet chewing the carpet. Shanley also takes the tether off Hoffman and we wind up with two overheated actors who know they're delivering Pulitzer lines that, with enough heat, perhaps can be transmuted into Oscar gold (didn't happen). You want certainty? Picture John Wayne as Sister A. Montgomery Clift as Father F - sure he's crazy, tortured, sweating, bug-eyed, but innocent. Or Bing Crosby as Father F. Innocent. Audrey Hepburn or Katherine Hepburn as Sister A, vs der Bingle? How do you pick a winner in an argument between two screen gods?

    But this movie wasn't about that. This movie was about Shanley's youth, the Bronx, the Sisters and Mothers and Fathers. This was about winter color, grays but somehow still warm with memory, warm wtih nostalgia and love and, by God, entertainment.

    I also wondered whether opening out the play on the big screen would help it, harm it, or have no effect. Neighborhood, kids, weather, church and school. The play consists of four individuals talking to each other for an hour and a half. In the original production, the sets are small and close. No children are seen, so that there is a certain problem-play, abstract quality to the proceedings. In the film, the protagonists are dropped into a bustling Bronx school full of children. The abuse issue is no longer academic. A specific child's welfare is at issue. The child does some mooning (not that kind) around the priest. This coming-to-life of the situation affects the artificial parableness of the play; without the movie's constant reminder of children qua children, the proceedings onstage were better able to remain an exercise in thought.

    Anyway, do we the audience know for sure, or think that we know for sure, after watching this film incarnation of Doubt, that Father F is or is not guilty? If so, the dynamics of the play are altered, displaced from the consequences of ambiguity in the face of certainty to questions of moral justice and the consequences of the priest's behavior. The whistle-blower in the case, Sister A, is dismissed from consideration, regardless of the original baselessness of her accusations. When the script presents the wine and locker accusations and the priest's verbal reactions, does Hoffman clothe those reactions in ambiguous anger or innocent surprise or one of a hundred other takes that swing the balance back from guilt? Yes, he does indeed. Clever writing by Shanley. Does the kid have to show gay for his mom's stance to be effective? Well, he doesn't and didn't have to. Was there too much focus on suspect Father F traits like, for example, his thoughts and feelings re long fingernails? So that Doubt morphs into a movie in the genre that includes films like Shadow of a Doubt and The Interview - man seems innocent, isn't? No. Someone complained to me that Father F was made to seem more guilty because when Sister A tells him that she saw him grab William London’s arm, he doesn't defend himself. In the play he explains his action, because the action is never shown, but in the film we see him do it, to check the boy's fingernails, and his silence on the matter later with Sister A seems to me to strengthen him, not weaken him. Shanley knew that the final confrontation between Sister A and Father F was his last chance (almost) to make things come out even. He used 31 camera setups. In the scene, we know that Mrs. Miller has told Sister A that her son is gay, but Father F does not know this. We also know that the boy probably confessed to Father F this fact, but Father F is constrained to keep the fact to himself. Forces swirling. Father F no longer able to step into Sister A's office and sit casually in her chair as if he belonged there, as her natural superior.

    I heard more than once from others that the movie ended with the issue of guilt/innocence resolved for them. Not for me. For me, Shanley and his cast did not fall off the tightrope. There was smoke, perhaps there was fire, perhaps not. My bet: Father F had misbehaved in the past but not in the current situation.

    Last word re Sister A's last words: "I have doubts! I have such doubts!" (1) I take this to be Shanley's last-minute buckling to the pressures of public taste in drama in the modern sensibility - that is, the mandatory inclusion of irony as a base element in any concoction, which is what this play is. Or, (2)these last words are an author's last-minute bright idea, a cry to the prize board, pleading for forgiveness for the thinness of the material but asking for the prize anyway. Or, (3) Shanley is telling us here that Sister A has been on a journey throughout this movie, a journey that has taken her from a desert of self-indulgent, selfish abnegation and selflessness of certainty to an uncomfortable paradise of doubt in the closer presence of God. A final message of hope. Shanley's gift to the Sisters of his youth. Or, (4) Sister A has lied, blackmailed, and bullied, and this final wracking doubt is her punishment for her actions. Or, (5) perhaps this is the last bit of weight Shanley drops into the balance on the innocence side, in case you're leaning toward Father F.'s guilt. In any case, Streep has caught some critical flak for not adumbrating this outburst, even in the smallest way. But I think that in fact she did, especially when she agreed with Father F. that she had sinned mightily in the past. That confession entered into the guilt/innocence calculus going forward. For these last words, did Shanley just refuse to put down the pen in time? Did Hannibal Lector apologize for his diet at the fadeout?

    Am I crazy or is Doubt an old-fashioned feelgood movie?


  • Üç maymun (Three Monkeys): a review

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    Yol  (1982)

    My postman stuck the Turkish movie Three Monkeys into my mailbox just as I was leaving for the unemployment office. While down there looking for work, I asked some of the others in my line why a country on the other side of the world would be named after a big ugly edible bird like that? Most of them told me that the bird was in fact named after the country, not the other way around, because Turkey is where the bird came from. Benjamin Franklin wanted to designate the turkey as our national bird, imagining, I suppose, the turkey to be an indigenous fowl. The first edition of his Poor Richard's Almanac featured an eight-page spread on meleagris gallopavo and its habits, habits which he took to be worthy of emulation by an entire nation and which he strove to imitate, in certain particulars, with several of his more intimate associations while abroad in Paris acting as a representative of our fledgling government, to the vast amusement of the French. Please don't write me about this, not if you already lit me up for my review of "Prodromos Oikonomopoulos," which dealt with the question of Greece vs Grease.

    Three Monkeys arrives as a Cannes prize-winner for its director and an Oscar candidate for best foreign film, and tells a story with the message, Don't accept a jolt in prison as a stand-in for your boss just to make a buck, not if you're leaving behind a "restless" wife and a son who needs your strong hand in order to keep him from getting drunk and beaten to within an inch of his life out on the streets of Istanbul. This tale is burdened in Three Monkeys with no more plot than that which you might find powering a Superbowl commercial; no more plot, that is, than that in a music video. At first, there appears to be a plot - as when it appears that you've happened upon an archaeopteryx in your backyard when you find a couple of its bones and get all excited, but then realize that the whole lizard-bird isn't there, just two drumsticks and a wishbone, which probably came from KFC - so that your dreams of opening a museum in your garage dissipate in the same way as the plot of this movie, the director having a couple of ideas and his male lead in the movie, Yavuz Bingöl, lauding him later in interviews for his fantastic editing job, whereas in truth a story of some sort is there but the plot has gone missing, or never was. Turkish prison? there is more prison in one episode of Arrested Development than in all of Three Monkeys; in other words, for example, the wife does not come to prison and press her bared self against the glass of the interview room for the benefit of her husband (although later, be warned Christian viewers, she does something similar). If you want plot, go hence. Contrariwise, do you meditate? Do you sit staring at the bubbles rising through the lighted but fish-empty water of the 3x3x1 aquarium in your rumpus room? Are you depressed, finding it difficult to move, so that you sit immobile for long periods of time on your divan? If so, you will find the pace of Three Monkeys in accord with your life vibe. How long can one hundred minutes seem? That depends upon whether you are holding your breath or sinking into an REM sleep state. You can walk out of a museum after you've seen enough, and go back later for more: with that in mind, I watched Three Monkeys in ten ten-minute sittings, as episodes. Ten minutes of carefully made cinematic art onscreen seemed just about right for me, the audience in my viewing area. At the end of each episode I wanted more; I never felt restless; I appreciated the photography without getting tired of it, although every once in a while I found myself wanting a voiceover, such as "These walls were built in 1581 by Suleyman Egrip" or "The Argo sailed on the historic water that you see before you 3,000 years ago, bearing Jason on his quest to find the Golden Fleece." Years ago, when I went exploring local urbanscapes with my daughter, helping her break in her new used cameras, back in the day of film and the home darkroom, we always ended up in weedy backlots, on streets lined with ramshackle rundown buildings, industrial landscapes, the interesting rather than the beautiful. Nuri Ceylan, the director of Three Monkeys, is a photographer first, with an interest in the interesting. Istanbul has been accumulating interesting for two thousand years. Ceylan is also an auteur, which means that you'll sit through his long takes and like it. In Three Monkeys, the family's livingroom window looks down upon the Bosphorous, where ply myriad tankers and freighters. You know you're experiencing a long take when you find yourself looking away from the immobile faces of the actors to check on the progress of the boats in the water, which are not, to put it mildly, in any hurry. Please don't write me about long takes, not after my piece on Antonioni and how he was only kidding.

    A reminder of the difference between plot and story, courtesy of E.M. Forester: The king died and then the queen died: story. The king died and then the queen died of grief: plot. That is, a story is a series of events; a plot is a series of events presented so as to provide you with theme, emotion, and drama. Three Monkeys presents a series of events; theme, emotion, and drama are left in the hands of the actors' facial muscles (mixed metaphor or just weird?). According to Bingöl, Ceylan chose the final story from among various possibilities via his edits; one presumes that actions and motivations are somehow connected, so that changing actions will change motivations, but that isn't a problem if mum's the word dialogwise.

    Homework: watch any random movie of the 30s or 40s and notice how there is a lot of plot.

    Screenwriting 101: Foreshadowing. "You've got to pass those university exams this time." "OK." Two pages later in the script: "So, you failed the exams." One page after that: boy arrives home beaten bloody. It's what happens when you don't pass the university exams.

    At the end of '08, the top ten grossing films in Turkey, to the amazement of many, were all Turkish. This has not happened in some time. Meanwhile, American films in Turkey took it on the chin. As a result, new production money has begun flowing back into the Turkish film industry. The top ten were all action and comedy movies. As in the U.S., the majority of Turkish moviegoers view moviegoing as a species of entertainment, as opposed to an artistic activity such as eyeballing the Mona Lisa. The entertainment factor in Three Monkies requires that you be entertained by the oblique, the elliptical, the tickling of your arty bone not your funny bone. What does it mean to watch a movie that is a real downer anyway? Why do we do it? Is it entertainment or an artistic enterprise or both? Ceylan's films are "low-grossing" because of the bone that they tickle and the bone that they don't. His "Distant," also a competitor at Cannes, was seen by less than 00.3% of the Turkish population. He couldn't sell Three Monkeys to Turkish TV - too slow. Turkey has a young, go-go consumer economy, coupled with a crippled intelligentsia. After a 1980 military coup, tens of thousands of leftists were imprisoned, tortured, sometimes murdered. Intellectuals were forced underground and the country hasn't fully recovered yet. But humanistic-moviely speaking, Turkey's serious films are beginning to share some of the weight we've seen in Iranian cinema lately. So Three Monkeys isn't going to show up in your corner metroplex anytime soon - we'll discuss movies vis a vis the U.S. intelligentsia in a later review. Presumably, Ceylan's successes on the festival circuit and with critics worldwide will translate into future production money for himself, and with Three Monkeys he does take a step in the direction of the commercial with the movie's plot, such as it is, and with his decision to use professional actors.

    By the way, expect no humor in this review! I won't chortle over the pain and suffering and misbehaving and just plain general agonization of the characters in this movie. The anger. The death. The brow-knitting. Played out on a foundation of diegetic sound - birdsong, thunder, passing trains, clocks ticking, snoring - and gorgeous, fastidious and photographically photographical photography, so that squalid life will be experienced as an ironic* expression of the ineffable beauty of the universe, objectified in and around Istanbul and instantiated in the mom, dad, and son as portrayed by the three (professional) lead actors. No, no smilin. And what happened to Ceylan's vaunted humor? "I do see humor in even the most tragic situations. I think humor is always the brother of tragedy or sad things; and I think that with humor, tragedy becomes more convincing." So why the Droopy Dan in Three Monkeys? Mr. Gloomy Gus. My theory: Ceylan is 49, at the bottom of the U-shaped curve of happiness. You won't find a director over 60 making a movie like this. Gloom, not unwonted for Ceylan, but sans smiles, unwontedly hangs on his idea of a plot here. Could there be a little Orhan Pamuk-envy involved in this, Ceylan's fifth movie?

    *Turks/Irony: How does Turkish culture deal with/relate to irony? Unfortunately, googling "turks irony" gets you numberless hits re turks/kurds, turks/armenians, turks/iranians, turks in germany, theyoungturks (U.S. anti-Bushites). Lots to be ironic about if you're a Turk, in the context of Asia Minor, but we learn nothing about the irony of being a Turk at home in the Turk's own living room, with garbage barges passing out beyond the window. (Did I mention the fabulous weirdness of that apartmenthouse, by the tracks, by the shore?)

    Anyway, what I'm getting at is, are you familiar with the U curve of happiness? You start out happy in life and, statistically speaking, become increasingly unhappy until you reach your late forties. Thereafter, you begin to grow happy again over the years, assuming that you don't die in the meantime. Applying this phenomenom of human development to filmmakers, we might expect to see them produce their least-happy films at the bottom of their individual U's. Ceylan was 47-48 when he turned off lugubrious with Three Monkeys. Coincidence? I don't think so. "You put all the dark, bad sides of yourself into the films, and so you get rid of them – or at least control them in a better way." Hope it worked!

    Following up on this thought with a couple of our greatest directors:

    Kurosawa at 46 makes "Donzoko" - "His picture of several dreary people thrown together in what appears to be an urban slum or flophouse... Without moving out of the one room for the first hour and a half of the film and then going no further from it than the shabby courtyard outside, he puts his actors through a series of snarling and whining colloquies that express their despair, humiliation, anger, frustration, and grief." (Bosley Crowther, NYT)

    Stanley Kubrick at 47 makes "Strangelove." Humans as fools, plus the end of the world.

    Howard Hawks in his mid-forties - WWII. The Big One. I guess that whatever movies Hawks made or didn't make during this period just didn't amount to a hill of beans compared with the world's death-struggle at the time.

    Ingmar Bergman at 47 makes "The Silence" - "After a prolonged, convulsive attack, Esther implores God to allow her to die in her own homeland. In the end, she is left to die, alone and suffering, in a strange land: unanswered prayers by an absent God." (Acquarello)

    Please don't write to me about the U curve of happiness, not after my last Sidney Lumet prediction.

    Perhaps because Ceylan features the downbeat here, coupled with a dark and distinctive cinematography, the "noir" and "neo-noir" words have been bandied about. We've got to put a stop to this before "noir" becomes a word as useless as "awesome." Noir films are typically crime dramas or psychological thrillers. The plot of a noir movie is complicated, ambiguous, with twists and turns. Noir characters are conflicted antiheros, trapped in situations that force them to make desperate or nihilistic choices. Noir characters can't resist temptation. Three Monkeys isn't a crime drama, although crimes are committed. It isn't a thriller; making us wait for angry, gloomy, cogitating family members to snap and run amok, or not, doesn't qualify the movie as a thriller, more as a nervouser. Three Monkeys has a plot easily fit into a TV Guide capsule description - not so twisty. An envelope stuffed with money shows up, a noir totem, but goes nowhere. Family members in Three Monkeys may be conflicted, but they aren't antiheroes, they're common folk, and they aren't forced to make many choices, they're free to drift into the bad decisions that Ceylan has ready for them, dramaturgulated to keep the ball rolling. There are character flaws in each family member that might lead to ruin, but in Three Monkeys there seem to be psychological counterweights in operation as well. Noir characters find themselves in hopeless situations; the mom, dad, and son here aren't happy, but their situation is by no means hopeless. I myself happened to perceive a little hope at the end of the movie. Call me crazy, but show me a final shot in which a man is one inch high, silhouetted black against a stormy sky, before a distant sea, surrounded by, enveloped by windy gray nature, and for me there is something of hope strong in the image. Ceylan grew up in a tough, fightful multifamily setting and he emerged in one piece, as may these characters, who draw on his past. Note that Eugene O'Neill and Arthur Miller were not noir playwrights. Note that noir visuals include in-you-face light and shadow; Ceylan uses light, shadow, and every other tool in the photographer's toolbox, in all sorts of digital HD ways. The femme fatales in noir would never contemplate suicide, like mom does here. Femme fatales play the hero for a sucker. You'll never see them crazed, agonized, and making a complete fool of themselves in the particular way that mom does here, mom who isn't cruel, just dishonest and dissatisfied. And no magical realism in noir. No Garcia Marquez moments. No imagined scenes followed by, oops, real ones. Ok, enough about that.

    My general theory has been that gloom increases the amount of dialog in a film, but Three Monkeys is a study to the contrary. Ceylan is known not only for slow, but also for taciturn. I've written before about directors who avoid dialog, so I won't go there again. And I won't go there to "go there" again. Ceylan makes a veritable tone poem of a movie here, cinematographically and diegetically speaking, immaculate, but he turns his back on dialog, especially after the 80th minute. He can write questions but he doesn't write answers. Is this because he trusts himself and the D.P. behind the lens, but does not trust himself as a writer (he writes the dialog with other family members). Is there something ironic about a moviemaker who specializes in closeups focusing on the expressiveness of the human face and then leaves us to interpret the results as we choose, while the characters go wordless? Films that rely on sight more than sound are often ambiguous, but here we go beyond ambiguity. How would I know what these characters are thinking? They're Turks. I don't even know what my spouse is thinking and she's 100% USA American. I mean, I know what she's thinking when steam comes out of her ears, but I'm talking about when she's staring-off-into-space here. I'm talking about when she calls me a moron. Well, maybe then I know. But in Three Monkeys, we've got a family of inhabitants of a country with, as I've said, the name of a bird. This isn't my brother Frank. At least let Ceylan write dialog like "I look angry because, being Turkish, I am operating under a rather different social imperative than the one with which you Americans are familiar." Even I could do that. Sure, I can guess what any character is thinking, even Natetodamax, but in fact, any action that an actor takes will perforce be consistent with the fact that, having kept his or her mouth shut, any action is now possible. “Turks are generally practical people, but they have difficulty in putting this into action. We combine German business discipline with the practical Turkish mind.” Oh, well, that's OK then. Example: at the 8 minute mark, the boss asks his driver to take a fall for him. The driver behind his mustache stares off this way and then that way, no expression, and finally, when prompted by his boss or by Ceylan offcamera, I forget which, says, "OK. No problem." So is there Turkish stuff I need to know here? Is there machismo at work? Management/worker labor issues? Genetic fallout from the conquering Turks of yore? Translation tweaks from a non-Indoeuropean language? The Koran?

    Ceylan's excuse, at least a couple of years ago: "I don't believe in words. In general, people lie, they don't tell the truth. The truth lies in what's hidden, in what's not told. Reality lies in the unspoken part of our lives. If you try to talk about your problems, it's not that convincing. People try to protect themselves; everybody has something they want to hide. They try to hide their weak side. When they tell you a story, they make themselves the hero of that story. So without words is better, and it allows the spectator to be more active; he should use his own experience." Uh huh. My boss asked me to confess to making a pot of African CongoBlaze Superforce Coffee in the No-Caff pot. At first I said No! but then, so that the boss could solve the case and look good, I said yes in exchange for her commemoration mug from the '03 Sales event in La Brea. A critic's take: "This film paints a haunting portrait of existential solitude, one in which the images speak louder and often more forcefully than do any of the words. Mr. Ceylan doesn’t write speeches or flatter the audience by offering us more information than he gives his character. His scenes play out to the natural rhythms of life." Uh huh. Even silent movies had the title cards with info on them like "I'm thinking that I should smack her." Chaplin was silent but he wasn't slow. He did not spend a lot of time staring off into space so that we could appreciate the composition of his shots in the meantime. Oh, hell, maybe I'll just write this review without any further dialog. If Ceylan can do it, so can I.

    "Never happen."

    "No, I can do it."

    "You dope."

    "Aw, nuts."

    Alright, alright. I've hired my friend Maurice, who does a great Shakespeare imitation, to go visit Ceylan and sit him down in front of King Lear. Ceylan, you use sound, you use pictures, now write the damn dialog or hire somebody who can.
     
    Can you imagine Bergman saying, "I've decided to stop writing dialog because nobody ever tells the truth?" The fact is, writer-directors write the scripts that they are capable of writing, neither more nor less.

    Don't write me about this, not after the feedback I got when they published that dialog of mine about Life, Death, and the Human Condition between a box of Cheerios and a box of Kix.

    And actually, Ceylan isn't really so bad. His characters do talk to each other. They do ask questions, raise issues. They argue. They shout. They do tell us what's on their minds. At least, for the first 80 minutes, and after that there is enough emotion floating around to keep us informed by osmosis. Ceylan is never as wordless as some of the 6th-generation Chinese directors, like Xiaoshuai Wang and Lou Ye.

    Ceylan dialog that would not be heard in a Hollywood movie: "You paid 5 billion lire for this car?! I was in jail for nine months and didn't spent 900 million the whole time!"

    Ironic moment in the movie with respect to this theme: a man seems to be talking but his lips don't move. Anti-antidialog.

    Having dealt with the slow, the silent, and the gloom - maybe to excess, when in fact a sentence on each would have sufficed, since the heart of the movie is somewhere else - let us now celebrate the principle reason that this movie won Ceylan the director's prize at Cannes - its cinematography by Gökhan Tiryaki. An extended shot of a car driving away through the woods at night, which opens the film, by itself might be worth the price of admission. Ditto some of the best, if not the best, skyscapes I've seen in a movie. I live where there isn't much sky and where there isn't much going on in what sky there is. For me, there can't be too much sky in a film. Ditto too much Bosphorus. Ships riding on the same water as the Greeks on their way to Troy (more or less) and the Persians on their way to Greece (more or less). Ditto trains and their tracks, decrepit apartment buildings, rotting concrete in Istanbul. Ditto uncomfortable attempts at sex in a small room, a heckava mosque, and father-and-son mustaches. The digital world of color, light, and shadow impossible to obtain with traditional film. Differential focusing. Surprising camera angles. Plus, I used to collect coke bottles; now I collect foreign movies that have coke bottles in them, like this one; and speaking of bottles, what better sign that the world is going completely to hell than that plastic water bottles, the ultimate in pollution, are to be seen everywhere, from the Turkish countryside to the magical island of Lost, which can move but can't shake off its plastic bottles. Regarding cinematography, sound, and plot, Ceylan has been accused of overdetermining. Overdetermining is when the dad's words are followed by a thunderclap or when we see a montage that includes a train entering a tunnel, a rocket lifting off, and a sprinkler suddenly spurting (a montage from Naked Gun, but you get the idea). A couple of times I did wonder if and when the temptation to employ more and more digital editing to achieve photographic effects might overwhelm this director. Some of his shots are such that, if you don't happen to be in a charitable mood, they might strike you as goofy. I'm thinking of that argument scene from fifty yards away, for example; made me imagine that the two actors were tying up the 7th green with me looking on and waiting impatiently to play through.

    Ceylan said that he would use professional actors for this movie. The mom, Hatice Aslan, has done a lot of work in TV; the male leads were both born in Istanbul, but Aslan is from Sivas, high on the Anatolian plateau, a town/city that has been around since before the Hittites and is the primary source of Kangal dogs. "Beyond Kayadibi the country dogs were the largest and most savage of any I had met. In theory you are entitled to defend yourself against them, even to the point of killing; but in practice may not do so, except at great subsequent personal risk." (1917) The dogs defend their flocks against wolves and jackals, but I digress. The dad in the movie, Yavuz Bingöl, is better known as a musician: "Acting and music, these are not fields which necessarily nourish one another. I am more at ease when making music and am not that comfortable as an actor, although I guess I could say I picked up acting pretty quickly. I never felt like I had to get special lessons on acting or go to any acting school; I just act while trying to feel the actual characters I‘m playing... Actually we had worked with a few alternatives in Three Monkeys, so I really had no idea what sort of film would emerge in the end... It is a film full of surprises. It can make viewers perceive all sorts of different things " Translation: "Hey! Ceylan managed to cut together a story that made sense of all that."

    Actor's note: a thick black mustache can be a big help, especially when you're grabbing your wife by the hair in bed. Homework: compare Sam Elliot's movies, made with and without the stache.

    Acting Excercize 101: You're sitting in a chair with your purse on your lap. Your cellphone rings in your purse. The phone is playing a love song with ironic lyrics. You must fumble for the phone, trying to extract it from your purse, for the length of time required for the first verse of the song to complete, but not the chorus. During this time, you must register embarrassment, confusion, resignation, suprise, etc., because the phone is interrupting your important conversation with someone. Mercifully, the camera turns away from you for the last half of this exercise, so that only the frantic sounds of your rummaging will be heard. Note: the purse will not be large. Later in the movie it will take your hubby about 10 seconds to do the same thing.

    Acting Exercise 102: You're sitting on a bench in a train station, dressed up. You're staring off into space. You look concerned. The audience tries to figure out what you're thinking. Look more concerned. Now look more concerned. When you're absolutely sure that you've got the audience's attention, vomit.

    Acting Exercise 103: Stare off into space without smoking. Hey, where's the cigarettes? This is Turkey. Turkish tobacco? Camels? Hello? No cigarettes, as mom, dad, and son hang out down by the water. No smokes at the Turkish wedding. We get a glimpse of the son with a butt in his fingers at minute 49, two brief moments of puffing by the dad, and then the dad, finally, smokes a fag at the very end of the movie. Turkey passed a no-smoking-in-bars-and-restaurants law at the start of '08; did that have something to do with this, or is Ceylan just a health nut? A valuable prop tool has been ripped from the fingers of his actors.

    Critics who were watching a different movie: "The script is right up Will Shakespeare's alley." "Astute psychological insights." "A subtly-twisty yarn."

    Finally, the monkeys.

    There are no monkies in this movie.

    The three monkeys? Hear No, See No, Speak No? What happened to Act No and Think No? What do the three monkies mean, anyway? There are folks who collect these monkeys. Do they know what the monkies are supposed to signify, or do they just have a monkey jones? There is a market for these monkeys. Is there a three-monkies carving in your crazy uncle's footlocker down there in the basement? Got a three-monkeys statue, cup, or commode up in your attic? There is no scene in the movie in which the three protagonists sit side-by-side in the three-monkey pose, so don't wait for that. ("monkies" = 32 million hits; "monkeys" = 38 million hits.)

    Three-monkey explanations:

    1. The monkeys remind us not to be snoopy, nosy, or gossipy.

    2. The monkies are associated with Vadjra, who commands us to stay away from places where immoral acts are taking place. If we do not hear, see, or speak evil, we will be spared evil. If we aren't exposed to evil, we will not reflect that evil in our own speech and actions.

    3. The phrase describes someone who doesn’t want to get involved, turning a blind eye to the immorality of an act in which they are involved.
     
    In an interview, Yavuz Bingöl goes for #3: "This three-monkeys rule is at play around the world in human relations. It seems to have taken root in people in the sense that there is a What's-it-to-me? mentality ruling over people. In fact, I believe this mentality is one which is reflected in human relations or imposed on people as a result of capitalism. Faced with wars, natural disasters, and various crises, people continue to play the role of the three monkies. But actually, we are all passengers on the same ship, and this ship is sinking." Strange words coming from the guy who, as the dad in the movie, lays on the "What's-it-to-me? What's-it-to-me! I'll-show-you-what's-it-to-mother-freaking-me!" throughout the film.

    Those flm critics who have addressed the monkey question seem in general to interpret the title in a similar sense: "A film that's driven less by action and active decisions than by the hope that consequences will somehow just fade away." Where did this notion come from? The fact is, Ceylan advances the story by having mom, dad, and son ask, answer, confess, react from start to finish. A Turkish speaker once told me that Turkish word order is opposite to that of English. Does that inversion extend to the meaning of movie titles? Some evil is spoke; some is not spoke. Some evil is heard; some is not heard. Some evil is seen; some is not seen. There is a keyhole scene. The See No chimp glues his eye to it? (Regarding inversion: the principal protagonist in this film is named Eyüp. The co-writer of the film is Ebru. Three Monkeys spelled backwards is Eerht Syeknom. Just sayin.)

    Mom, dad, and son don't want to get involved? I'm guessing that the actors were left to devise their own motivations. There isn't much motivational narrative on offer in the dialog. Ceylan's material tends to be autobiographical; perhaps he wasn't sure of the motivations of his own family members either. But I see no turning of the blind eye here.  Since this is a dialog-lite movie, it's the No Thinkin monkey that you'd expect to get the biggest workout, but no, mom, dad, and son never seem to stop thinkin, from start to finish. You know how when somebody drinks throughout a movie, you want to go have a drink afterwards? Or when somebody eats noodles throughout a movie, you want to go eat noodles afterwards? When this movie concluded, I wanted to go somewhere dark and think till I sweat.

    The point being, the mom, dad, and son at times do not speak evil, but at other times do speak evil. At times, they look away from evil but at other times they look at it. They seek it out. They hear it and sometimes react and sometimes refuse to react. So which type of monkies are they supposed to be? The moment the dad gets out of prison, he's asking about the money, he's visiting the grave of his dead son with his living son and policing the area, he's asking pointed questions about his wife and her behavior. Dad imagines mom about to jump, doesn't stop her. Sees her about to jump, stops her. This does not fit the ignore-it monkey template. The son goes out and gets beat up. He embezzles his dad's money. He does worse. He does not ignore his mom's behavior. Hears the bedsprings of evil. Here comes the smell of evil: cigarette smoke in the bedroom of a woman who doesn't smoke.

    Or are mom, dad, and son each one particular monkey? The son would be, let's see, he sees and speaks evil; doesn't hear evil? The mom speaks and hears evil and doesn't speak it? The dad hears and speaks evil, never sees it? Seems like a stretch.

    Another possibility: the three monkeys are represented by the three men in the mom's life. If that's the case, we're going with monkeys qua monkies.

    Or is Ceylan's point that the three should behave like the monkies but don't? No, because they do monkey-act in crucial ways. The movie is referred to as a "family secrets" drama, but neither dad nor mom nor the son seem to have any secrets from each other, not with a house full of those keyholes and bedroom and bathroom doors with frosted windows in them, something I haven't seen before. Plus all that thinkin the three of them do. Or is it that they keep secrets from everybody else but not from each other - do these three monkeys actually get together when we're not looking and let it all hang out?. Mom, dad, and son do take action; all three attempt to change their circumstances. For father and son, family, above all, comes first. For the mom, not so clear. But they all take action.
     
    Spare me the mumbo jumbo about this family's lack of moral grounding and how it's a comment on the greater society.

    The mom's clinging to her affair? This comes right out of the blue. Foreshadowing exercise: have a character look intense and troubled and then have him or her go ahead and do anything that your plot requires. "Troubled" can translate to any action, so that's OK.

    Suppose that you title a movie "The Golden Rule."  What does that suggest? That everybody breaks the Rule and suffers? Or breaks it and ironically prospers? Or follows it? Or that it's about Krugerrands or suchlike?

    Instead of "Three Monkeys," how about "A Ruminant, a Stoat, and a Young Hyena"?

    I don't mind trying to figure out what it all means if I believe that it all means something in the first place. There is forgiveness here, that I know. It's obscured but in the end, for me at least, the film opens onto the future.

    Don't write to me about this, not after my exegesis on The Three Stooges vs The Holy Trinity.

    In the end, let's give Ceylan the last word: "I think we do it in life, also, many times — every one of us. We play three monkeys."

    In this movie, Ceylan does not go full monkey.

    If you liked Three Monkeys, you might also like "Yol" (1982), a Turkish film about rural Kurdish life.


  • Larry the Cable Guy

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    Under discussion:

    When I wrote a review of Game Over the other day, I paid special attention to the movie's opening minutes. Watching Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector tonight, I noticed that it featured a similar opening, and I thought that it would be interesting to compare the work of  Larry Carrell and Josh Drapehs, Game Over's filmmaking novices, with that of professional director Trent Cooper and star Larry the Cable Guy (Dan Whitney). It's actually Trent's first and only feature so far, but he has done a couple of prize-winning shorts and his budget was considerably larger than Larry and Josh's $2500, even if most of it went for Whitney's salary.

    We're talking here about the opening scene in which the hero wakes up in his bachelor digs and gets his day started. It's been done a thousand times.

    Game Over (GO):

    1:05 f-bomb #1
    1:15 modest home, outdoor view
    1:20 the word "fart"
    1:45 cereal and beer, mixed
    2:10 actual fart
    2:30 socks with holes, underpants, butt crack
    3:35 stream of urine, poorly aimed
    4:20 pop tart and sour milk
    4:21 sour milk back into fridge
    4:50 cat
    5:45 hearse
    6:15 bird (finger, not feathered)
    6:18 overweight transvestite prostitute at the corner of McFarland and Navigation in Houston
    8:11 f-bomb #2, bird #2
    8:39 poop
    9:47 roaches 

    Health Inspector (HI):

    0:20 grappling with and dropping alarm clock
    1:01 butt crack
    1:15 stepping in pizza
    1:35 reusing Q-tip for ear wax
    1:50 stream of urine in shower. more yellow, probably due to larger budget for effects.
    2:08 using shirt for towel, putting shirt on
    2:38 sour milk back into fridge
    2:53 modest home, outdoor view, with retarded neighbor
    4:12 fly in the cafe mayo
    4:37 nose-wiping chef
    5:10 roaches

    What do we learn?

    1. HI is paced twice as fast as GO. Seems like a pro thing. Cut out the cat and the hearse and the cereal and beer.
    2. HI went with the bankable special-needs mentally challenged character rather than the in-your-face fat transvestite nymphomaniac. I was ok with either. Might work to combine them?
    3. HI holds back on the farts till the second ten minutes. Make 'em wait for it.
    4. HI wants the PG-13, so no f-bombs. GO went R in the first ten minutes, so after that they could unlease a righeous torrent of choice dialog.
    5. More roaches in HI, but that was just the budget talkin.
    6. Cooper put up Iris Bahr (aka Iris Bar-Ziv) against the cable guy. Got the country boy vs urban Jewess mojo working there. GO casting included players of many races but steered clear of ethnic humor, mostly.
    7. GO showed its ace in the hole, well out of the hole, which was the poop, right away. Should have held back, not showed it so soon, just have folks reel back in horror at the sight and smell, build the suspense? HI rolled with simple earwax and mucus.

    With the seasoned professional, it's slick entertainment. With the beginner you get the joie de vivre.


  • The Curious Case of Brad Pitt

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    The name Benjamin Button is odd, but the name that always bothered me a little was Brad Pitt. I would ask myself, why choose a name like Pitt for your screen name? This was before I realized that these days, lots of actors keep their own names, regardless, and that Thomas Bradley Pitt was one of them.

    It never bothered me that the two Pitts were Prime Minister. Eartha Kitt was OK. Mitt was OK, though I didn't like his politics. I've got nothing against armpits, or fruit pits, or Pittsburgh.

    Just seemed like a strange name to choose. Now if he ever marries Angelina (whose real name is Angelina Jolie Voight), she can be Angelina Pitt.


  • Time Travel Plots - OK or not OK?

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    Primer  (2004)

    The grandfather paradox: you go back in time and kill your grandfather, which means you were never born and couldn't have gone back and committed the murder in the first place.

    This paradox is easily explained if you keep in mind that the universe comprises matter and energy, and that space and time are only ways to describe the current state of matter and energy, not corporeal entities in their own right. In that context, time is not a river flowing in only one direction. It, like space, is merely a way of specifying the arrangement of matter and energy in one of the universe's infinite states. (And btw, if you choose a system of units in which the speed of light = 1, then E = M, because matter and energy are actually the same thing.)

    So you and your grandfather are collections of matter and energy, little bits of the universe's total supply. In one state of the universe, he's alive and you haven't been born. In another state, he's dead and gone and you're alive. In a third state, the two of you are in the same place and you're murdering him.

    The seeming paradox arises when you think of time as that simple stream, moving only in one direction. The universe is in fact a limitless collection of individual moments in which every quanta existent occupies a particular spot defined by time, space, and physical state coordinates. It's as if the universe were a giant, static, space-time cube or matrix. If we had the perspective, we could see that every possible position of every quanta is present; this means, as far as we are concerned, that every possible thing that could happen has happened and hasn't happened, will happen and won't happen, going both forward and backward in time - that is, every state in some sense is there already.

    What this means is that pretty much any sci-fi timetravel plot ever contrived is OK - the plot for Primer, for example.

     


 


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