This review contains major spoilers for "X-Men: The Last Stand".
In case the trailers and TV ads haven´t made it clear enough, "X-Men: The Last Stand" revolves around a cure for the mutant X gene. In layman´s terms, scientists have found a way to make any mutant a "normal" human being, without their powers of telekinesis, optic blasts, furry blue skin, a metal skeleton or power over the weather. And that "cure" (as it is called in the movie) turns from a voluntary program to a weapon when Magneto (Sir Ian McKellan) challenges it.
The major problem with this third movie in the theatrical "X-Men" isn´t in front of the camera. Rather, it´s behind. The director of the first two films, Bryan Singer, was onboard to helm this one also. However, the new "Superman" film came calling while "The Last Stand" was languishing somewhere on the development track. So Singer passed on this film in favor of "Superman Returns". He brought his production crew with him to the new, leaving "Rush Hour" director Brett Ratner to lead this film.
To put it as succinctly as possible, it shows.
This film, above and beyond the first two entries, required Singer´s (or someone along that line) experiences, sensibilities and touch. Singer brought an un-comic book feel to a comic book movie. You believed these people existed and what they were going through was real. Without him, what was a series about ideas first and action second reversed its priorities. This is an action movie with good ideas desperately trying to get out.
To second guess the film and the decisions behind it is foolish. It can´t be changed now. However, there is enough meaty material here to make two films. There is the aforementioned cure storyline and the ramifications of the idea. Then there´s the reincarnation of Jean Grey as the Phoenix (last seen saving the mutants at the end of "X-Men United"). Then there´s the death-a-minute of major characters. But let´s take each of these one at a time.
It was only a matter of time before the anti-mutant sentiments we´ve seen through the first two films culminated in a scientist trying to reverse mutations. This particular storyline starts out with Warren Worthington II finding his son (ostensibly named Warren Worthington III) trying to cut off a pair of white wings on his back as a young child. Flash forward to the present and this "cure" is being bandied about by the government and Worthington as a way for mutants to be "normal". However, the caveat is the procedure is entirely voluntary.
When the news breaks, our protagonists are divided. Rogue (Anna Paquin) is for it, because it would allow her to touch her boyfriend Bobby Drake aka Iceman (Shawn Ashmore). Keep in mind Rogue´s mutant power is taking another mutant´s power and using it herself. She nearly killed Wolverine in the first film this way. On the other side is Storm (Halle Berry), who repeatedly asks "Since when are we a disease?". Straddling the line is the new mutant Dr. Hank McCoy (Beast, played by Kelsey Grammar). Presumably after the second movie, a Division of Mutant Affairs was created within the government. The cure was created without his input. For him, his furry blue skin is a tell-tale sign of being a mutant. Why wouldn´t he want to regress to human status?
What passes for arguments for and against the cure are slim. There is a scene in which Worthington III is forced to take the cure. He inevitably breaks free and, in a shot seen in every single trailer, flies out of the glass building where he is being held. Frankly, there is an entire movie´s worth of material here to mine in relation to the cure. There should be debates both on grand and personal scales. There should be more activism on the part of mutants as well as "normal" people. But there isn´t. Magneto, obviously, is firmly against the very idea of a cure and, in a moment of pure lunacy, decides to announce to the country that his Brotherhood will fight back.
Let´s contemplate that for a moment. Do you declare on television you´re about to start a war? Of course not. It lets your adversaries know you´re coming and to prepare. If you´re going to start a grassroots resistance, you don´t make public declarations. However, it does allow the president to utter one of the movie´s most ludicrious lines (and ideas). His response to Magneto is that if he wants a fight, the country will give him one.
Excuse me, but how, exactly, do you fight people that can phase through walls, control your mind, change the weather and who knows what else?
Why, you use the so-called voluntary cure as a weapon. And that´s exactly what happens. The first victim is Mystique, who is being held prisoner by the government. Magneto and his band break her out, only to have a cure bullet meant for Magneto hit her. She instantly regresses from her blue skinned personae to human flesh. Magneto, showing no remorse, leaves her, saying she´s no longer one of them.
The Phoenix storyline intersects the cure in that the first major confrontation between Magneto´s Brotherhood and the X-Men (well, just Xavier, Wolverine and Storm) happens at Jean´s childhood home. Xavier, it appears has been controlling Jean´s mind as long as he´s known her, well aware of her ability to turn into the all-powerful Phoenix. Inside, with Xavier trying to get into her mind and Magneto attempting to get her on his side, she attacks Xavier, making him the second person she´s killed in the movie (the first being Cyclops). After this, Magneto and Phoenix unite to launch their pre-emptive strike.
Which they do in what has to be considered the movie´s action set piece. Magneto moves the Golden Gate Bridge to Alcatraz Island-the home of the cure and mutant responsible for it-for the final battle. The rest of the movie is very by the numbers, involving explosions, mild expletives and the good guys predictably winning the day.
Speaking of the characters knocked off in this movie (in one form of another): the aforementioned Mystique and Xavier, Cyclops (in a role hardly needing James Marsden), Rogue (she goes for the mutant cure), Magneto (he gets cured courtesy of a neat trick by Wolverine and Colossus) and Jean. The overwhelming emotion by everyone I was with after the movie ended: why? Why was it so necessary to kill or otherwise kick these people out of the franchise?
I´ve been told that, in the last scene, Magneto does regain part of his ability. I looked for this and never saw it. Additionally, in the post-credits tag, we hear Xavier´s voice come out of a comatose body. This idea fits in with what has been previously established in the film. An argument can be made that Rogue, Mystique, Xavier and Magneto aren´t dead. The cure is going to regress and Xavier has been reincarnated. But that still leaves the maddeningly simply demise of Cyclops, a character as integral to the X-Men as Wolverine.
This is "X-Men" Lite, in the same way "The Chronicles of Narnia" was "Lord of the Rings" for the kids.. The best parts of the last two movies have been jettisoned in favor the summer movie crowd. That in and of itself isn´t a major problem; it´s exactly what should be expected from a Memorial Day movie. But, based on the pedigree established previously, this is a massive letdown on every level. From the story and even to the special effects (most notably the opening de-aging effect for Xavier and Magneto), it´s disappointing.