Synopsis: Four children (Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy) are sent to safety by their mother during World War II. They travel from Britain to a non-descript manor house inhabited by a reclusive professor and his housekeeper. During a game of hide and seek one day, the youngest child (Lucy) hides inside a wardrobe and it transported to the land of Narnia. There, she meets Tumna, a half-man half fawn creature. He relates to her that the White Witch has plunged Narnia into perpetual winter. Despite spending several hours in Narnia, Lucy returns just seconds after she left. None of the other kids believe her, especially rebellious Edmund. Later, she returns to the wardrobe, followed by Edmund. However, he meets the White Witch, who calls herself the Queen of Narnia. She tempts him with sweets, saying there are more in her castle, which he can have as long as he brings the rest of his family with him. Of course, being the obnoxious selfish kid he is, Edmund agrees. Before long everyone is back in Narnia and embroiled in a civil war, led by Anslen the lion.
Review: The first thing I have to say is I understand CoN is based on a book and the movie must adhere very strictly to the written word. The second thing I have to say is that the first half hour or so is dreadfully dull. So dull, in fact, that I'm surprised I didn't fall asleep. There's an inordinate amount of talking, exposition, whining, crying and general cantankerous attitudes from all the major players. Whereas the first half hour of Fellowship of the Ring sets up Gandalf, the ring, Frodo, Bilbo and the Hobbits, the first 30 minutes of TLTWaTW is spent moving the kids from Britain to the manor house and getting them into the wardrobe. It's not that the idea is bad (every movie must put its pieces into position) but it's just done in such a way that we never really care about any of the kids.
Take, for example, the scene where Edmund runs back into their house, which is being bombed, to get his father's picture. Peter scolds him like a child for putting their lives in danger. That should have been the first time we, the audience, felt bad for Edmund. In reality, it was. But from then out, he turns into a little snot who I personally wanted to flog a couple times. There is no need to be mean to his sister Lucy after his first trip to Narnia. I know kids will be mean to one another, but by making her feel worse than she already does, he alienates the audience in such a way that any good feelings toward him we were feeling are summarily gone.
Remember in The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy and Toto open the door to Munchkinland and the feeling we all got when we saw the beautiful, vibrant landscape of Oz? That's what I was expecting from Narnia. Maybe not the brilliant technicolor of Oz, but something more alive than dreary white snow and, later, a nondescript plain from Braveheart. It doesn't feel majestic or special, just ordinary, except for the talking animals, which are another story entirely. Even the latest installment of Harry Potter felt magical and special in the same way the Lord of the Rings movies did. Narnia, for better or worse, felt like King Kong for me. Not overblown or overlong, just unsure of what it really wants to do.
However, after the first half hour, with all the kids in Narnia, the story starts to rev its motor. What follows is a chase scene created for a PG family audience between CG wolves, beavers and the kids. Then, we finally meet Anslen, only for him to die and in the greatest "what the ****" moment in recent memory, he comes back to life because the White Witch "misread" ancient writing. You have GOT to be kidding me. I know it's all based on a book, but there is something to be said for a character dying and STAYING DEAD. (Yes, Gandalf came back in LotR and Spock in Star Trek, but Obi-Wan Kenobi died in A New Hope and summarily stayed dead.)
In the obligatory action finale (which is curiously bloodless and just downright boring), when all seems lost, Anslen rides in with more troops, a la Gandalf in The Two Towers. Alright, enough. The thing that ran through my head throughout the movie is that this is The Return of the King-lite. If Peter Jackson had wanted to make this movie with a PG rating and less than 3 hours, he would have come up with Narnia.
Another case in point, when he returns with another army, Anslen attacks the White Witch. We see him just toward the camera, presumably onto her, and then nothing else. The assumption is that she is dead, but we don't know that for certain. I know, I know...PG rating. It's just frustrating that something with such potential was wasted.
Everyone made this out to be some great flick that reflects Christianity and Jesus. I was looking for this theme the entire time and an argument can be made that Anslen's "resurrection" was Christ-like while Edmund's betrayal of his brother (and sisters) was also Biblical. But if you're not thinking on that track, you're not going to see it. This is not The Passion of the Christ from last year; like I said before, this is Lord of the Rings-lite.
One last point, the ending in which the grown up kids find their way back into the wardrobe after "forgetting" about it is bogus. It is the ultimate cop out in that we have spent the better part of the picture freeing this place with these characters and we're supposed to stomach they conveniently "forgot" about their former home? Are you kidding me? And the give up their kingdoms (they fulfill prophecies...) to return home without telling ANYONE...and then they're magically kids all over again? I don't think so.
This is just banal, family-friendly entertainment that suits the people who can't stomach a little blood or are too pious to sit and watch something like LotR with the rest of us. Insulting, pedantic and ultimately a forgettable movie.