Released: January 13, 2006
Director: Lucky McKee
*****
Ugh. There must be a disconnect between Lucky McKee, director of Sick Girl and the general definition of "horror." Blood does not necessarily imply horror; nor does a preposterous plot about a bug which impregnates people. Seriously, that's what this movie is about. Unfortunately, it takes far too long to get to this "surprise" moment and miscasts its lead so hideously, there may be no casting misstep which makes its film this laughable in the last ten years.
Ida Teeter (the aforementioned miscast Angela Bettis) strikes out with the women while holding a repository of bug information in her head. Potential girlfriends find her fascination with the creatures...distasteful, shall we say. So when she asks out the secretive Misty (Erin Brown), Ida is advised by a male coworker not to let her in on the "bug thing." Eventually, a super bug of sorts gets loose, causing havoc.
The problem with Bettis and her portrayal of Teeter is simple: she is so stilted and stuffy it's impossible to believe anyone would find her attractive. She speaks...almost like...William...Shatner...pronouncing some words...with the harshhhest sounDs...she Kan. It's grating and irritating, not to mention comedic in most respects. Then there's the requisite horny coworker, who insists on details from Misty and Ida's first night together to give him some images for the shower. And a subplot involving an older land lady who does not approve of Misty and Ida's relationship.
Okay, enough. Sick Girl has one thing going for it: director McKee going out on a limb and portraying lesbians in a horror film and portraying them as sexual beings. There is the foundation of an argument about the nature of homosexuality between Misty and Lana Beasley (landlady) which is never given the time to develop into anything more. Out of a sixty minute production, a full fifty are used to build the situation and characters...to such a boring and tired effect we don't care when the "horror" comes at the end. And even when we know what is happening to Misty around the thirty minute mark, we don't care since the situation is so far out of the realm of possibility. Horror works best when the action can happen to an every man (or woman). This has never happened nor will it ever happen to anyone.