51 Birch Street (2005) is an excellent documentary about modern North American marriage and about how adult children relate to their parents, topics which should be of some interest to many of us.
Initially, film-maker Doug Block documents how he has a special bond with his mother and almost no connection with his father. We see Mina Block bantering with her son, complaining of being photographed from below instead of from a more flattering angle. Mike Block, in contrast, is distant, withdrawn, unsmiling, and described by one of his daughters as apparently infallible. We see his hide-away in the basement loaded with tools of all kinds, nothing of interest to anyone else in the family including his son. My Gawd, aren’t we tired of these traditional males?! Still, the Blocks had a good and long-lasting marriage.
But when Mina suddenly dies, Doug—and us—start to see the marriage anew. According to Doug’s interview on Spout.com, he knew he was shooting more than home movies when he asked his bereaved father if he missed his wife, and Mike said no. Approximately three months after his wife’s death, Mike is living with his former secretary in Florida and planning to remarry and sell 51 Birch Street. And he is one happy fellow. The wedding kiss is timed at 12 seconds, prompting the adult children to try to remember seeing their parents kissing. When packing for the move, they discover 35 years of Mina diaries—three large boxes—and Doug makes the difficult decision to use them. Mike, whose body language has changed from stiff to energetic, talks more and more with his son until, near the end of the film, they switch roles and, for the first time, father interviews son.
The film is so powerful, in part, because the overall structure is gripping and the attention to detail enhances the intrigue. The Mike, Mina, and marriage we thought we knew at the start of the film change revelation by revelation, creating an investigative suspense. This is heightened by telling details. For example, early in the film one of the daughters introduces a grace note of discord by saying that if you read her mother’s poetry, it is all self-absorbed and you would not even know she had children or a family. Although this could be an idiosyncratic comment, it turns out to be insightful. Similarly, after Mina’s funeral, we hear Mike mutter, “Oh, well.” What was that? Resignation? A philosophical acceptance? An unguarded moment revealing lack of caring?
Ultimately, Doug Block—and us—reflect on marriage in general and our marriage(s) in particular. My favourite scene is Doug asking his wife what matters most to her. She says her work teaching law, her social action, and her children. Doug decides to ask, “What about me?” She says it depends on the day.