Four Eyed Monsters
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JakeStevens Blog

  • Bland And Boring

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    Left in Darkness  (2006)

    I knew this movie was going to be on the dull side before I even bought it, but I was hoping that with Monica Keena in the lead, it would at least be tolerable. Boy, was I wrong. First off, Keena looks WAY better as a brunette, and I just don't believe her acting here, which is possibly a directing choice. Everyone else just seem like B-list actors to me. Just trust me on this one - never watch this.

  • Poor Brandon. Poor Ernest.

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    Laser Mission  (1990)

    I will say that this is a quaint effort from B.J. Davis and crew, and in his defense, Brandon Lee is the best thing in this film, even if he is overacting here and there. The film does suck quite a bit, and some may be entertained by these type of "so-bad-they're-good" type films...but not me. Ernest Borgnine just looks lost, like he really needed the paycheck or was called in to do a very big favor for someone. The plot, script, acting and production design blow big balls. I'd say skip it unless you're a Brandon Lee completist.

  • WAY Underrated!

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    Joe's Apartment  (1996)

    This film is a wonder for SFX junkies - the attention to detail on the roaches is amazing. Also, I found many of the scenes to be successfully humorous - me and my roommate at the time (I originally saw this at home in 1997) could NOT stop laughing at the scene when Joe steps off the bus for the first time and gets mugged...several times in a row. This being an MTV production, the chosen popular music is, of course, very catchy and the showtune-like songs the roaches sing are composed by the always on-target Carter Burwell. I think if you go into this film knowing you're about to see some VERY good FX on some VERY disgusting creatures, and you know it's a silly, gaudy COMEDIC film with some off-kilter song-and-dance numbers, you may actually enjoy this film. I did.

  • Unfinished And Underdeveloped

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    The Final Cut  (2004)

    Robin Williams plays a "Cutter" in this film, and his character, Alan Hakman (Get it? Hack-Man...gag), is much like his character in "One Hour Photo" - morose, sad and tormented. But "One Hour Photo" is a much better film than this one. I feel like I watched half of a movie after viewing this, because so much seems to have been left out, such as character motivation, character background, character development, and any sort of resolution of questions brought up earlier in the film. For instance, we never REALLY learn why the lawyer was such a loathsome father (we are left to assume he was a child abuser or sex offender). It seems to me that Omar Naim, for writing and directing this, his first feature, got VERY lucky with the cast and crew he managed to assemble. That's the biggest question I'M left with after watching this mess - how the hell do he do THAT with THIS SCRIPT?!?

 

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