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  • Classically Christmas

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    Rudolph and his friends the dentist elf and the numismatist extra-ordinaire Yukon Cornelius are tops around the holidays, and forget Ugly Betty there's not a better acceptance story out there.     Popularized by the classic christmas song, or maybe vice-versa (its a regular chicken or the egg situation), I can't imagine christmas without hearing Burl Ives warbling Silver and Gold from the soundtrack.  Just hearing that song makes me want to find out how to make egg-nog (and I hate that crap).

    Who has not seen this movie?  It is quite possibly the best made-for-tv movie of all time, yes better than Boy in the Plastic Bubble and waaaay better than any tv movie you are going to find on Lifetime.  Joan Van Ark has yet to do a christmas movie that I want to watch again and again.   It is a christmas classic without compare.  I dare you to find another movie with a nomadic elf that plucks teeth from a gigantic snow-beast.  Why can't everyday be like Christmas?   

       


  • Repeat Viewing

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    This is one of the first movies that I have ever seen that's not only fine for repeat viewing, but demands it.  There are a lot of in-jokes and back-of-action shennanigans, but that's not what I mean by a movie that demands repeat viewing.  On paper I should have loved this movie the first time I saw it.  It is silly, chaotic, spoof-rific, and I already liked almost all of the actors involved.  When I watched Wet Hot American Summer for the first time though, I just didn't get it.  I was stuck outside the bubble wondering how to classify what was going down on-screen. 

    That was mistake no. 1- in order to watch this film, one's mind must be suitably turned to the "off" position.

    This movie would have been completely lost on me, if my roommate had not missed it the first time.  Knowing what was going to go on, I sat back, turned it on and was not really prepared for anything.  It was then that I saw the funny.  The funny is not hidden in this movie, that's not what I mean.  The funny is frightened away by any judgement of any sort. 

    The -in's and out's of this film are all still completely laugh worthy, and I guarantee that upon seeing it a second time, you'll find more to laugh about.  This is one of my favorites now.  I bought it and I could have it playing on a loop in the background all day.  Its about a camp, its campy, its not Meatballs, its fun and mostly profanity free, its not the Parent Trap, its chaotic and its spoofy and its not Airplane.  Please do yourself a favor, shut your mind down and watch.

     


  • Miss Begotten

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    Begotten  (1991)

    This film to me marks the death of creativity, and makes a mockery out of its audience.  Please excuse the spoilers but the imagery of this movie can only be related by a few content examples from the film.  This soul-sucking homage to super-8 nonsense starts with mastabatory rape to a chorus of crickets and screaming, and after many minutes more of sights like log-raping, crotch smashing and crusifixtion, I was pleased to see that no one even bothered to explain what was happening and disheartened that no one took the blame for its conception.  Even the back of the box description (which is the only narrative you'll recieve when watching this film) is filled with enough nebulous dialouge to make the journey unrelatable and mean absolutely nothing, lacking the balls to even define the myth it was deficating on. 

    I would suggest that you never watch this film.  And if you still want to, I suggest waiting until there is audio commentary from the creators to back up some of the disgusting choices.  Maybe the message is not about  brutality and more that we as a human race have come to stand for and thereby mean absolutely nothing. 

    Strange note:  If you decide to pick up this movie anyway; mute the movie and play the Schindler's List Soundtrack.  Its kind of a Wizard of Oz/ Dark Side of the Moon relationship; plus that way you won't hear crickets and screaming for over an hour.     


 

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